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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I need a very large amount of money
Except for asking the bank for some or just saving, what options do I have?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:36, 11 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
Crime.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:37, Reply)
Ah yes, crime
Thing is, I need quite a lot of cash. Something to the tune of 25k. What sort of crime would I need to commit to make that sort of money quite quickly?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:37, Reply)
I hear the planes in Belgium are just dripping with diamonds

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:38, Reply)
Chips and chocolate, etc

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:40, Reply)
Perhaps a bank robbery?
Or steal a very expensive car & sell it to some dodgy Bulgarians?
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:39, Reply)
Are there any non-dodgy Bulgarians?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:41, Reply)
I doubt it.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:42, Reply)
Why do you need £25k?
If it's to pay for the Personality Horse world tour, I'd not bother.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:44, Reply)
Well we can't walk, Chompy
We've been asked to tour the Benelux nations. And when you get an invite from the Beneluxians, you'd better fucking get packing.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:47, Reply)
Kneecap finance offers short term loans with amazing intrest rates

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:37, Reply)
Do you have a pamphlet I could peruse?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:38, Reply)

homepage.ntlworld.com/sasquartch/kneecapfinance.htm
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:39, Reply)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:42, Reply)
Woah

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:43, Reply)
Ask your mum and dad.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:37, Reply)

ask
and dad
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:38, Reply)
I would have preferred
ask our um and dad
(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:39, Reply)
Well I'm on a strikethrough budget here
I can't afford that sort of thing
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:40, Reply)
I'll lend you some, I've got shitloads

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:37, Reply)
Sweet! Cheers Monce

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:39, Reply)
suck some dicks

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:37, Reply)
How many dicks should I suck?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:39, Reply)
4 rich elderly dicks
or 5000 normal average human person dicks
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:39, Reply)
I know 4 people that are financial well off
but I wouldn't call them rich as such. Will that do?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:46, Reply)
Yeah should do
Remember don't ask permission first, just dive in
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:47, Reply)
Then ask for the cash once I'm done?
Gotcha
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:49, Reply)
steal sex toys

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:37, Reply)
RIP Baldmonkey :(

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:39, Reply)
eBay a kidney
Sell a child
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:39, Reply)
I need proper money here
I'd get at most a tenner for both of those
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:41, Reply)
I got a Tesco (Value) Loan for £25K a few months ago
No bother and a fairly decent rate
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:43, Reply)
Every little helps, I guess
In all seriousness, it will have to be a loan. I don't like being tied into these things, but I'm fucked if I'm waiting until I've saved 25 fucking grand.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:44, Reply)
£25K is the most you can borrow without it being tied to your house (I think)
I went over 15 years at £293 a month. Needed it for the move but going to get a much bigger one to pay it off and extend once we are sorted
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:46, Reply)
How quick?
Send snotty emails to your bank about PPI.
Try to reband your council tax
Ebay shit you don't need
Zopa loans are good if you've got a very good credit rating.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:41, Reply)
Re banding your council tax is surely more likely to make it go up since they are based on 1990 prices

(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:48, Reply)
It can go up or down, but most likely down.
You can check if any of your neighbours have been successful online. Definatly worth while. www.moneysavingexpert.com/reclaim/council-tax-bands-change
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:51, Reply)
I don't understand how it can go down?
My house would have been worth at least a hundred grand less in 1990.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:56, Reply)
No, it's that in 1990 they just drove past your house and said
"It's worth 100k so it's a band whatever" without looking inside or anything. Actually it was only worth 80k in 1990 so it should be the band lower.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:58, Reply)
How do they tell what it was actually worth in 1990 then?
I've just checked the barnet tax bands, and band G is between 160K and 320K. That's the minimum you'd pay for a house which is what makes the council tax system so ridiculous.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)
I have £25k, what do you need it for?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:42, Reply)
Alright Deborah Meaden

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:43, Reply)
I'm out

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:43, Reply)

out

spent
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:44, Reply)
*shakes it all about*
*wipes on curtains*
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:46, Reply)
She'll be so guttted, she hates it when you pull out.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:55, Reply)
A little building work
I'm loathed to go into further detail at this stage.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:45, Reply)
Did you invite bm round and then he punched his way through the house?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:46, Reply)
Luxury shed.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:46, Reply)
I need somewhere to store my set of luxury hammers

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:48, Reply)
I can't see where the profit is for me
Will you be being a dog fighting pit, small theme park or public house?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:47, Reply)
MY NAME IS NAKED APE AND I'M BEING A DOG FIGHTING PIT
*please read this in a spastic voice.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:50, Reply)
woof

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:50, Reply)
*belms*

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:51, Reply)
This is the funniest thing I've ever written on b3ta.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:56, Reply)
Are you building a new flat for PsychoChomp?

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:50, Reply)
I too have hopeless ambitions.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:51, Reply)
I need about £80K
for an extension and new kitchen
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:52, Reply)
I did a budget last night.
I have total debts of about £5.5k I'm not happy about this.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:53, Reply)
£447K worth of mortgages
£25K loan
£5K credit cards
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:54, Reply)
That's what pisses me off. My total debt is tiny, but I applied for a credit card last night and it was rejected.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:55, Reply)
Credit scoring is odd
My mate runs a property company has £2 million worth of debts but property now worth £5 million. His credit rating is 999 as the companies just want to know if you can pay and he can
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:57, Reply)
Most banks have a service that helps build credit ratings.
Have you tried that?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:58, Reply)
Really?
How does that work?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:59, Reply)
You save this amount a month.
Then when you've saved it they loan you the ammount you've saved and you pay it back every month from the savings and shit.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:02, Reply)
Interesting

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:02, Reply)
different for every bank though.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:04, Reply)
My problem is I've just changed mortgage and bank account
...and massively increased my borrowings.
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:04, Reply)
To be honest I thought my credit rating was ok until I just tried.
Might just be due to me just moving but I'll have to look at my files.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:05, Reply)
If you're not on the electoral roll for the address you used to make the application then you'll automatically be declined.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:09, Reply)
FFS
I forgot about that.
What
a
retard.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:11, Reply)
*pause*
Ohhhhhhhhhhh
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:13, Reply)
What are 'debts'?

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:58, Reply)
122K left to pay for my flat.
Other debts: c55k
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)
HAHAHAHAHAHA

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:02, Reply)
pussy
Get proper debts
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:02, Reply)
I'm letting the side down badly here

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:03, Reply)
Buy that solid gold Jimi Hendrix bust you were after

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:05, Reply)
Imma buy that Fillmore West door, how much was it, 2 million USD?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:07, Reply)
Offer 3 just to make sure

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:08, Reply)
Currently just under 4 grand, here.
Which is way more than this time last year, but nowhere near as much as it'll be in three years' time.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:03, Reply)
No debts. None.
But that doesn't make my credit rating that great.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:09, Reply)
It's a little odd how you have to have debts to have a good credit rating.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:14, Reply)
Exactly.
I could service all manner of debt but some institutions are reluctant to lend because you don't have a history of paying it back.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:17, Reply)
I have £155k left to pay on my place
16k on the student loan that I don't care about and about 10k here and there. I feel like I am doing pretty well to be honest
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:14, Reply)
shoulda boughta bigga housa

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:53, Reply)
This is true
Trouble is they cost upwards of £100K more than the one we bought
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:54, Reply)
money-grubbing ballbags, all of them

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:55, Reply)
this^
I've probably spent about £10K so far on our new house. Not trying to make any money from it as I intend to move out in a casket.
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:56, Reply)
I suggest you quit uni and get a job and whatever the rest of this meme says.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 10:58, Reply)
Oh, I miss that meme. It was really funny.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:05, Reply)
BOAT lol [!]

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 11:18, Reply)

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