Would you trust recruitment agencies?
My CV is out in the world and I've had a couple of calls within days of it "going live" but after recently doing some work for Hays recruitment I get the feeling recruiters are a bit like sales people. Lying slugs only out for their own commission. What are your experiences with recruitering?

Alt: it's going to be hot, do you like it hot? Do you like it sweaty? I bet you'd love me to rub sun cream all over you.

Altalt: lunch?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 7:57, 103 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Recruiters are the same as estate agents - they'll try & sell you anything just to get their commission. Unfortunately, like estate agents they are an unpleasant necessity at times.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:02, Reply)

I've never had to use one luckily, the wife thinks they are cunts, They remind me of football agents, in particular the silly one who says 'monster' a lot. It's a bit early for lunch, I've just had an egg, sausage and cheese sandwich for breakfast, on a h

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:20, Reply)

Are you Ok?
Just stopped writing, did you fall down dead?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:29, Reply)

What?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:33, Reply)

Well, you didn't finish what you were writing.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:33, Reply)

What?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:35, Reply)

Please don't bully me today, it's my birthday

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:37, Reply)

Woah!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAN!!!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:39, Reply)

Ta.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:40, Reply)

How?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:39, Reply)

I've just had an egg, sausage and cheese sandwich for breakfast, on a h

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:40, Reply)

He was responding to a thread, whar is the pissy response for?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:47, Reply)

Must have been typing on a cliff

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:33, Reply)

I get them calling about once a week
My trainee always knows because l say politely, not interested.

Lunch - it's hot so probably a £10 salad day. Green base, all the veggies, mozzarella or feta and balsamic vinegar.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:17, Reply)

I'm too poor to afford a £10 salad so I'm going to make fun of your choices to make myself feel better

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:33, Reply)

You go girl.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:34, Reply)

^^packed lunch, sandwich, banana and a Kitkat.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:44, Reply)

^must be very short because everything goes over his head

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:08, Reply)

UH OH!!!
Man misses satire
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:12, Reply)

clickin diss

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:13, Reply)

i nabbed that £20 note as i was short on cash and it's too hot to go to the cashpoint
so i can have two.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:16, Reply)

"That" £20 note?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:21, Reply)

"£10 SALAD"???
You can buy a whole lettuce for 69p
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 10:12, Reply)

I wouldn't trust them, they're idiots, but unfortunately sometimes useful. You have to put up with a lot of old shit from them to find the one decent thing that might be suitable.
You'll probably get the old 'I see you're an electrician, have you ever thought about plastering???', but occasionally they come up with the goods.
Alt: Last night was too flucken hot.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:20, Reply)

I slept naked, without a duvet, with the windows open, and I still left a sweaty outline on the new cotton sheets.
I sweat too much.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:26, Reply)

Me too, plus having the fan on all night

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:27, Reply)

Cor! You sexy bastard!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:33, Reply)

As has been said, they are a bunch of shysters
But can be useful, I think you are being harsh of sales people comparing them.

Alt I would like to leave you in the direct sunlight and laugh as you sizzle.

Altalt really... at this time FFS
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:24, Reply)

Yeah, maybe a bit harsh.
There is one job thorough them I really like the look of, so I guess they might be a help if they can "sell me to the client" but I can't stand the idea of having to go for an interview with them before an interview for the job
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:29, Reply)

Last time I used an agency
They gave me a very brief outline of what the job was, but they wouldn't tell me what the company was or even the industry. I asked him how I was supposed to prepare for it, and he told me not to worry.

To be fair, I got the job and nearly 7 years later I'm still there, but ITS NOT THE POINT.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:31, Reply)

Did you ever find out who they were though?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:46, Reply)

MI6
Two Hats spends his time travelling, killing spies, bedding hot women and driving fast cars.
( Kroney, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:20, Reply)

On a conference call the other day
I was referred to as "International Man of Misery"

:(
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:31, Reply)

Nope
I just turn up, have a chat with someone, make a cuppa then go home. I've no idea what happens here.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:26, Reply)

Too hot for this cat
I'm running out of clothes to remove
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:25, Reply)

Have you seen those trousers with a crotch fan built in to cool you goolies?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:27, Reply)

!
I need those in my life. I nearly fell asleep in front of the freezer yesterday
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:28, Reply)

Poor
I got my first full time job with one (telesales), turned out to be absolutely shit at it, sacked/released after a month, called the recruiter back to ask her for more jobs, said she'd get back to me. It took her 4 months, by which point I'd started my current job, the useless bitch.

Alt: Not too hot, thankfully we have air conditioning at work.

AltAlt: No idea, but my appetite is fucking mental at the minute. I'm ravenous until I start eating, but then I'm pretty full after only a few bites. No idea if this has anything to do with the food poisoning last weekend, or whatever. Ah well, need to MTFU.

In other news, I'm off to a 20-20 game tomorrow, rather looking forward to it!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:34, Reply)

I'm no expert, but I suspect* it's stomach cancer.
*hope
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:38, Reply)

Bitch.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:03, Reply)

What was the food poisoning?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:42, Reply)

Ate mussels on Sunday night
Pre-cooked, pre-packaged (I was drunk when I bought them, it seemed a good idea at the time). I woke up on Monday at 5am, legged it to the bathroom, threw up, felt better, went back to bed. Woke up at 7am to do the same, then carried on for most of the morning. Stomach cramps the entire day, couldn't keep anything but water down.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:03, Reply)

You mad dog.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:22, Reply)

I'm in bed and the fan is on. I'm happy.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:35, Reply)

Alt: I like cross-dressing and hanging out with Marilyn Monroe.
Edit: Happy birthday, little piggie.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:44, Reply)

\o/

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:45, Reply)

Happy birthday, btw.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 8:59, Reply)

No, they are shite
I get calls from them all the time.

Alt:
Hot is nice when you aren't in work.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:02, Reply)

I work for probably the largest in the world.
So, in short, I can categorically say that they're hopelessly stupid know-nothing retards; concerned with little else beyond trying to boost their piss poor income with commission, they will drop you the first sign that you're not going to get them a payday. Perhaps understandable, but not pleasant. Most of them are in the job because they're too depressingly thick to get a job on the bins.
( Kroney, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:04, Reply)

Are you at hays?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:11, Reply)

I've been slagging off my company and its staff for years I ain't announcing who they are
Though they're not Hays.

Having said that, it'd be the work of moments to find out, it isn't a secret.
( Kroney, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:14, Reply)

It's [mod edit]

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:21, Reply)

[mod edit] are a leading recruitment company with a global presence

( Kroney, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:23, Reply)

[mod edit] employ some complete pricks in their IT department.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:33, Reply)

They sure do!

( Kroney, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:51, Reply)

Reeding between the lines....

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:24, Reply)

he ain't no angel?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:26, Reply)

Fair enough,
I was going to mention how I got an earful from an IT guy at hays after he blamed for something that had nothing to do with me and wondered if it was you. But obviously not.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:29, Reply)

Haha! Yeah, I can see the logic.

( Kroney, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:51, Reply)

I've got a hot and sweaty from sitting down for half an hour
Totes redonk mate. Rather have this than winter, though.
( Kroney, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:19, Reply)

I'm in some very sweaty labour councillors offices.
They have clearly no real love for the working man, as I've been told not to open windows unless councillors are there to authorise it in their office. They're all in meetings until 12.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:32, Reply)

Tell them you can't do manual labour in a sweatbox
So you start when somebody is available to open the windows.
( Kroney, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:53, Reply)

'Hello is that the IT department? Yeah, Windows won't open...'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:56, Reply)

The metro in was rather warm, to say the least
I love the way they turn the heating up on warm days too
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:32, Reply)

I was going to wash my car this morning. Fuck that in this heat. I'm going to sit in my garden instead.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:34, Reply)

i just got a truly horrific image of you washing your car like an american cheerleader on a fund raising drive
all cut-off denim shorts and soap suds and lying across the bonnet to wink at the driver...

fuck, there goes my peanut butter toast and orange juice :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:43, Reply)

You have some very perculiar thoughts.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:44, Reply)

i am still rocking

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:47, Reply)

I am actually wearing knee length navy blue shorts and a light grey t-shirt. Oh, and M&S pants.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:49, Reply)

i will say that sounds better, phew
doubtless some wag will be along soon to ask if the knee length shorts were intended to be hotpants...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:53, Reply)

GIVE ME MY POSING POUCH BACK!!!!

( Kroney, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 10:01, Reply)

I wash my car when its no longer black

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:46, Reply)

Mine is supposed to be black.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:47, Reply)

So is mine
hence it needs a wash. Also it needs the boot hoovered as its full of turf mud
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:56, Reply)

The interior of mine is a tip, thanks to my kid.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 10:11, Reply)

You should always put up plastic sheeting prior to dismembering a body

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 10:13, Reply)

Thanks, Brick Top.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 10:14, Reply)

Feeling better?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 10:15, Reply)

I can't wash mine at all at the moment.
It's got a hole in the side.
( Kroney, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:52, Reply)

It's called a window. Close it & you won't get the interior wet.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:53, Reply)

It's a rust hole on the sill.
I found it when I poked the car with a screwdriver
( Kroney, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:55, Reply)

Didn't you use a magnet on the car before you bought it? That's helps with finding hidden rust as well as filler.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:57, Reply)

I'm pretty good with Golfs, I know where the major rust spots are and they're all solid.
This one was hidden under a bad repair. I found it after winter. You'd better believe I did the magnet trick once I found that. Rest of the car seems solid.

I'm still having it checked by the body shop, mind.
( Kroney, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 10:00, Reply)

I've got a patch of rust on the corner of the door on my polo
Luckily its only surface rust so a sand back, treat, fill and spray will sort it. Only bit of rust on a 20 year old car. Not bad methinks.
( Peej, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 10:14, Reply)

THERE'S A BIT OF RUST ON YOUR FACE

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 10:15, Reply)

No
Alt. No, I hide indoors with all the windows open.
AltAlt. Already? I'm not having any.
( Peej, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:35, Reply)

I'm off sick with a fucking leg infection - can't walk. It's hopefully cancer, so Imma sit out in the garden and burn.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:42, Reply)

skin cancer will cure leg cancer

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:42, Reply)

Top Trumps innit

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:46, Reply)

bit racist m8

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:53, Reply)

RIP Cavy
consequenceofsound.net/2014/07/r-i-p-johnny-winter-blues-legend-dead-at-70/
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 9:51, Reply)

Recruitment cunts are a waste of blood and organs
but do provide a service. They are like estate agents.

Happy Birthday Winders you ald bastard!

I'm sitting in my lovely air conditioned office with the fan I have had for 15 years on medium setting. I'm a bit chilly aksherly.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 10:13, Reply)

the air con is too powerful in here
my trainee and i are wearing cardigans.

also: NEW THREAD.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 10:15, Reply)

Well I'm really sweaty. And hot. And ready for you.
I'm gonna be down your Manor again soon, fixing the problems we found round the corner from your office. If I can get a van share might stick around for a pint after and get the train back.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jul 2014, 10:18, Reply)

Sweet.
Let me know and I'll show you a few decent City pubs. Or we could go to Monty's local and I'll show you the bird he's shit scared of.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 10:32, Reply)

Oh what? I haven't seen her, yet :(

( Kroney, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 10:38, Reply)

Get yourself up here.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 10:39, Reply)

Psh I might if asked.
Ronery.
( Kroney, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 10:43, Reply)