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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Christ that was dull.
Whiskey Chat?

allt: just been for a shit. When are YOU going for a shit?

altalt: pricks
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:34, 168 replies, latest was 9 years ago)
shit

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:35, Reply)
Three Colours: Dull

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:36, Reply)
Three Colours: Shit

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:36, Reply)
Three Colours: DISCO!

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:37, Reply)
Are the opiates making you constipated?

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:37, Reply)
Is is the vegetarian diet, living in Coventry or being a fucking hippy that's dulling your reading comprehension?

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:46, Reply)
Why, what is wrong with my reading comprehension?

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:52, Reply)
That whole 'are you constipated' thing when I just said I'd been for a poo.
That was positively Swipe-esque.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:53, Reply)
Swipe takes a lot more interest in people's shit.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:57, Reply)
she gets off on rubbing runny shit into her dugs

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:58, Reply)
Who was the vacuous internet attention seeker that Bert always claimed he'd fucked that was into scat play?

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:59, Reply)
Amorous Badger.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:01, Reply)
Becky Jizz Box?

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:01, Reply)
Ah yes, her of the vectored tits.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:03, Reply)
I don't really recall.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:12, Reply)
Lucky you

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:13, Reply)
Meanwhile, there's bad news for Monty.
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/bigotry-not-a-legitimate-thing-to-be-proud-of-2015021995521
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:58, Reply)
DullHerbie goes Shitbananas

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:40, Reply)
I literally just had one.
Absolutely perfect - 10/10: I must have been on the toilet a total of 10 seconds. Slipped out like a solid gold sovereign from a velvet bag. Nothing NOTHING on the paper after a single wipe.

True story.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:43, Reply)
Your life isn't going to get any better than this, you may as well end it all now.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:44, Reply)
Mine was like when the lid is taken off a box of racing pigeons.
I covered most of the inside of the disabled toilet.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:45, Reply)

toilet
+in spunk
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:47, Reply)
^icing the chocolate log for Christmas

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:00, Reply)
I need a poo
Its been brewing for an hour or so. I'm going to see how long I can last before I go and drop.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:54, Reply)
+ a spikey pickle.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:00, Reply)
I have a lovely blended Japanese whisky at the moment.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:57, Reply)

lovely blended rovery brended
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:00, Reply)
This chicken is rubbery!

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:01, Reply)

chicken pheasant
rubb leath
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:02, Reply)
delete this pomposity please

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:03, Reply)
n

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:05, Reply)
Never knew Brenda made whisky.
#lacist
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:01, Reply)
I think you should slope off and have a think about what you've done.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:02, Reply)
have a bowl of coonflakes.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:13, Reply)
Is it peaty?

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:02, Reply)
no

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:02, Reply)
Hibiki 12 mate

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:02, Reply)
No, silly, it's Dozy.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:09, Reply)
Macallan is my current favourite, lovely stuff.
Just handed in my notice, woo!

Alt: As soon as the cleaner is finished with the toilet.

AltAlt: Yep.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:07, Reply)
New job? Payrise?
Throw away the current AA austerity package?
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:14, Reply)
Macallan's a decent dram

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:16, Reply)
NO JOCK CHAT!

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:18, Reply)
You won't be able to fuck around on here in your new job!
Fat prick.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:22, Reply)
Oh man, will the new job pay enough for you to be able to upgrade to Pay Day Bottles?

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:23, Reply)
Hopefully he will earn enough to stop nicking sweets at the Cinema.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:24, Reply)
man
i could just eat a nice bit of pick'n'mix right now.

best pick'n'mix? imma say it should contain foam bananas/shrimps, cubes of fudge, chocolate covered nuts, blacks'n'rasps, lemon or toffee bonbons, jelly beans and those fudgey chocolate rice crispy things.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:38, Reply)
oh and a fucking massive jelly cola bottle or dolphin or snake

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:38, Reply)
Fried eggs
or the little hearts from StarMix
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:43, Reply)
the hearts are the best bit about a starmix
but who goes for starmix when you can have tangfastics?
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:46, Reply)
Me

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:16, Reply)
fucking idiots.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 13:59, Reply)
excellent vegetarianism here

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:54, Reply)
correct
tasty tasty jelly sweets

besides, i'm not really veggie. i eat fish, sometimes.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:13, Reply)
So, what you actually are is a 'fussy eater'.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 13:59, Reply)
lager

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:44, Reply)
+ R

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:47, Reply)
Fewer

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:00, Reply)
?

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:39, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/conned/post95230
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:41, Reply)
I had a 17 year old Glenlivet the other day
Cask Strength Edition 55.7% It was very nice.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:13, Reply)
I do love a 17 year old.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:14, Reply)
Mixed up with coke?>

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:15, Reply)
Good whiskey is nothing without some good coke.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:16, Reply)
you can get a 17 year old mixed up on much cheaper drugs than coke

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:18, Reply)
I find Trichloroethane to be plentiful and effective. Not to mention very keenly priced.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:19, Reply)
I like my Trichloroethane like my women, 1.1.2 years old and huffed through a rag

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:23, Reply)
There's nothing better than young minge huffed through a jean fly.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:41, Reply)
Yes but the joke would be even worse if it were
I like my whiskey like my women, 12 years old and mixed up with Meth
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:21, Reply)
That would be peaty
peaty haich see.....
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:24, Reply)
ouch

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:25, Reply)
I have a bottle of Strathisla, which is one of the smoothest I've ever had
to go with the 3 others I got at Xmas. Cabinet is nicely full and father's day is not so far off.. .
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:23, Reply)
Remy Martin XO

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:29, Reply)
I have a bottle of lime washing up liquid

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:33, Reply)
I was just accidentally copied in on a work email about me, slagging me off.
Only I don't think it was accidental.

Pfft.

I'm enjoying Bowmore and Finlaggen at the moment. I keep my Lagavulin for special.

Fortnum & Mason's Fine Scotch Single Malt Whisky is surprisingly acceptable, I think.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:34, Reply)
what did they say about you?
boring work stuff or good juicy stuff?
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:37, Reply)
I assume it would be about the smell

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:58, Reply)
It was about my excellent choice of cologne.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:07, Reply)
he works in IT but he DOESN'T smell of BO, i just don't understand it...

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:12, Reply)
It's because I have an OCD cleanliness issue.
I sometimes rub myself raw.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:39, Reply)
Some of it was personal, but all business-related, and very badly-informed - so "he hasn't done this, this or this"

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:08, Reply)
had you done "that, that and that" though

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:29, Reply)
I'd addressed it and discussed it with my boss.
They hadn't been done, but that was due to X Y and Z (beyond our control).

It was pretty ill-informed stuff, which was enlightening as to what the MO of the person is.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:39, Reply)
"those toilets are still filthy"

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:43, Reply)
Shut UP they were NOT!

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:07, Reply)
Lagavulin, Talisker, Ardbeg
That is all.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:41, Reply)
Don't overlook Kilchoman...
They're capable of producing stuff that tastes a decade older than it actually is.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:54, Reply)
They make nice soy sauce too

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:04, Reply)
hahahahaha

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:07, Reply)
Not familiar with them.
I will certainly give it a try though.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:25, Reply)
Terrible noncing

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:29, Reply)
where did the leathery pheasant thing come from?
this?

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2127131
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:54, Reply)
Graeme Crossley, expert chef.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:55, Reply)
Manchester?
*checks link* oh..
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:55, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:56, Reply)
You. you started it.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:56, Reply)
i have never eaten pheasant
trufax
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:12, Reply)
no whiskey chat.
Alt: come on badger, this is below you.

Altalt: it's like Frank is here with us.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:55, Reply)
Potential racist chelsea fan was a vocal UKIP supporter
who would have thought it?
www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/feb/19/chelsea-fan-in-paris-metro-video-posed-in-picture-with-nigel-farage
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:56, Reply)
SHIT THREAD.
SHIT OFF
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:09, Reply)
take your own advice mate

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:12, Reply)

CORNWALL NEWS!
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:24, Reply)
what's the news?
cornwall in "days behind the rest of us" shocker?
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:28, Reply)
If Cornwall is so shit why isn't your second home in the North?

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:31, Reply)
it is
cornwall's like my 6th or something, i lost count when i ran out of fingers (you'd have been alright though lololol)
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:35, Reply)
You have less than 6 fingers?
What happened? Accident with a firework? I know you northern types like to lob them around the street for the 4 weeks before and after the 5th November.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:40, Reply)
Both the North and Cornish countrysides are beautiful
Howver you'd have to be far enough away from the inbred, boss-eyed, knuckle dragging locals to make it worthwhile.

I'd rather stay in the Weald, overall.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:42, Reply)
Just for the record Kroners. I have more than 6 fingers.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:45, Reply)
Just for the record, PJ, I have the correct number of fingers and toes
speaking, as I am, as a genetically diverse Surreyman.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:47, Reply)
Poor Swipe can only count to six because she has lost her other digits in some unknown accident.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:58, Reply)
I like Cornwall and I like you. Can I come and live with you?

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:44, Reply)
Yes!
Bring the budgies!
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:45, Reply)
see you Saturday my new dad!

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:48, Reply)
Soz mate we're the same age so No-one will believe that.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:58, Reply)
They might, I am pretty short.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:59, Reply)
Soz I meant 'average height'

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 13:00, Reply)
Maybe, and I have a whole house which is probably around 4 times bigger than a half flat so plenty of room for us all!

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 13:00, Reply)
I can't fucking wait! The rest of our lives start here!

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 13:01, Reply)
I'll pick you up at the station.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 13:02, Reply)
My recent picks have been Laguvelin, Caol Ila and Laphroaig.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:27, Reply)
Cant look beyond, Bells, Grants and Teachers for proper quality stuff

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:30, Reply)
Famous Grouse

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:32, Reply)
I know you're both taking the piss, but for blends, J&B is alright.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:33, Reply)
Monkey Shoulder is a cracking blend
£22 in Sainsbury at the mo, too
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:38, Reply)
A decent blend is better than a shit single malt
There seems to be a trend for supermarkets selling single malts that are only really good enough to be used in a blend.

Uninteresting fact. Tesco Own Brand whiskey is blended by Master Blender Richard Patterson
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:39, Reply)
agreeing with Phil here re. malts vs blends

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:41, Reply)
I had a bottle of Johnny Walker blue label once.
True story.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:47, Reply)
Naked Grouse is lovely, give it a go

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:39, Reply)
My missus got me a Chivas regal for our wedding aniversary a while back
because it was in tin, it was fucking horrible that bad I couldn't drink it
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 13:09, Reply)
nakedape (rip) calling dozer a whiskeywog was one of his finest moments

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:34, Reply)
Whisky chat, eh?
Ardbeg or Balvenie for a drinker, Lagavulin or Oban for specialsies.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:38, Reply)
Oban is lovely
also Highland Park, and Aberlour A'bunadth
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:39, Reply)
I can never decide whether or not I like Highland Park

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:40, Reply)
For me it depends what else you've had to drink the same night
Always like it on its own, but after other stuff sometimes it seems odd.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:48, Reply)
yeah sometimes it's lovely but sometimes it's meh

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:49, Reply)
If we're out, the Doris will often buy me an Oban.
She's good like that.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:41, Reply)
Theoban was lovely.
It was a shame he died.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:41, Reply)
I'd forgotten about Oban and Aberlour.
I've been an expat for too long.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:54, Reply)
I prefer gin.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:41, Reply)
gay.

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:42, Reply)
this^
Gin FTW
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:43, Reply)
I love both

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:46, Reply)
Had an Auchentoshan 3 wood pre-dinner at Hawksmoor last night
lush.

alt: Pooped out a massive quantity of red meat this morning just before leaving for work. No blood. \o/

altalt: hedgehogs
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:51, Reply)
I like 3 wood

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:52, Reply)
Ditto

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:52, Reply)
have you tried the American Oak?

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:54, Reply)
I might perform Seppuku for my office later
as a closer for the day
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 13:02, Reply)
I once went to an old house in japan that had a room created specially for seppuku.
Hardcore.
(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 13:07, Reply)
table and lots of little pencils?

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 13:09, Reply)
I prefer crosswords

(, Thu 19 Feb 2015, 13:09, Reply)

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