It's 10AM, get the fuck up you cunts.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 11 Apr 2015, 10:00, archived)

alright fine
what are the haps on this fine Saturday?
( H.B.Mupps, Sat 11 Apr 2015, 10:46, archived)

alright

( mongychops, Sat 11 Apr 2015, 11:03, archived)

OW fuck off

( broadsword w⚓, Sat 11 Apr 2015, 11:07, archived)

i'm going to play football now
if i score i'll dedicate the goal to you
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 11 Apr 2015, 11:09, archived)

6.51pm, fuck off

( Zuowan, Sat 11 Apr 2015, 11:51, archived)

Pushing that shit further down the board, here.
How are everyone's bowels?
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 23:42, archived)

*edit*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQVlNt6DAxY
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sat 11 Apr 2015, 0:57, archived)

not clicking that because it's not a link, soz

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sat 11 Apr 2015, 1:42, archived)

actually that was really fucking good, cheers.

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sat 11 Apr 2015, 1:57, archived)

x

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sat 11 Apr 2015, 2:29, archived)

Nice sarcasm there.
That really was utter shit.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 11 Apr 2015, 9:55, archived)

Quite like that
cheers
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Apr 2015, 14:45, archived)

i'm drinking gin and watching mystery science theatre 3000
my bowels are fine thanks
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 11 Apr 2015, 1:18, archived)

cheers for the invite
haha
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 11 Apr 2015, 1:35, archived)

wouldnt hurt to call your old man every so often just saying

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 11 Apr 2015, 1:35, archived)

i've got a new trainset you can play with if you want to come round
its got a scale model of ninian park railway station on it
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 11 Apr 2015, 1:36, archived)

on my way there now, i'll keep you posted

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 11 Apr 2015, 1:53, archived)

Fuck off and go knock about with your bins you boring miserable fucking retard
*and I went back corrected my iPhone from spelling the word DUCKING*
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 11 Apr 2015, 4:56, archived)

Friday night alright b3ta what's shaking thread

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 22:23, archived)

STEPHEN! STEPHEN?
Oh, Stephen....
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 22:28, archived)

No real names pl0x

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 22:45, archived)

Wot?

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 23:00, archived)

Did everyone see Alex Jones' nipples then?

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 20:54, archived)

why are you obsessed with Alex Jones's nipples?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 20:56, archived)

Because she's fit
And her nipples were there for the taking
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 21:46, archived)

SHE?
oh i thought you were talking about that fat, shouty, middle-aged American conspiracy theorist man off of the internet.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 22:10, archived)

Oh, I thought this too. That would be much more interesting.
He'd probably blame it on the NWO, the Skull And Bones Society and evil climate scientists.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 22:37, archived)

who?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 20:56, archived)

Alex Jones'

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 21:01, archived)

Jone's

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 21:05, archived)

Alex's Jone's's

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 21:54, archived)

Why have you taken me off ignore you loser

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 21:45, archived)

just waiting for you to comment on it as it's obviously very important to you

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 21:46, archived)

It's obviously very very important to me Spanners

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 21:47, archived)

fuck off

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 21:22, archived)

Alright SSG you massive boring toast eating tosser

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 21:46, archived)

haha

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 21:56, archived)

Yeah

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 22:59, archived)

fuck you thread

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 19:26, archived)

cheers.
i'd like to say fuck you to Brad Torgersen and Theodore Beale.
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 19:38, archived)

got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em
youtu.be/kn481KcjvMo
( mongychops, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 19:47, archived)

cheers.
I'd like to say fuck you to David Cameron and Matt Smith
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 19:47, archived)

mr.h

( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 19:55, archived)

No, fuck you

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 20:07, archived)

Why can't we all just get along?
alt: fuck you
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 20:25, archived)

Alright

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 20:36, archived)

alright mofs

( mongychops, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 21:42, archived)

alright mongy

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 21:55, archived)

Well I haven't had a cigarette in 8 days now
and I haven't used my electronic cigarette either. But I am having a drink later and think I might cave...advice?
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 18:08, archived)

fuck off

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 18:09, archived)

Ah a smoker
How are you SSG?
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 18:15, archived)

Have a bit of brown.
I promise you won't look back!
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 18:17, archived)

Hmmm
Not sure, I think the Stranglers got it wrong
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 19:07, archived)

Use your ecig
obvs
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 18:19, archived)

Cracking advice there

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 19:08, archived)

don't post here when you're drunk.

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 18:29, archived)

You know I will.
Oh you!
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 19:08, archived)

I'm afraid smoking yourself to death is not nearly quick enough.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 18:42, archived)

but combined with drink and drugs there's a chance he could die in a fire
even with the ecigs.
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 19:00, archived)

DRUGS?
You parasite
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 19:21, archived)

You can see Alex Jones' nipples right now on the one show BBC 1
You are welcome
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 19:17, archived)

what's the demographic of this place then?
white male, aged 18 to 50, average income, lives in or near a major city?

please confirm below
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 14:12, archived)

We need a graph
Where's Manolith? He makes graphs sometimes
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 14:16, archived)

he should produce a whole pack to visually cover the demographic of the forum
pyramid graphs, venn diagrams, heat maps, the works
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 14:22, archived)

I can only assume he's seen this and is working on the graphs right now

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 14:28, archived)

Yes, but my income is above average according to poor people

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 14:17, archived)

doesn't the average income change depending on where you live?
if you live in one of them povvo places, like ipswich or leeds, it's probably a lot lower
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 14:19, archived)

I don't live in a povvo place
anymore
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 14:21, archived)

bald, dole, lives with mum

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 14:38, archived)

hiya jmg

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 14:43, archived)

14 f uk

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 14:45, archived)

no way, me 2

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 14:46, archived)

lol wats ur kik

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 14:51, archived)

spanishfly
Child exploitation is prominent on Kik Messenger,[19][20][21][22][23] and during 2014 a pedophile told The Trentonian newspaper: “I could go on it now and probably within 20 minutes have videos, pictures, everything else in between off the app because I know they’re both still active. That’s where all the child porn is coming off of.”[24] Similarly, in 2015 another pedophile stated: “The first thing that I thought was, ‘Wow! I can be whoever I want to be. I can get anybody I want. I can achieve my sexual glorification through this app".[25]
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 14:57, archived)

it was taken out of context
they cut all the good bits out
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:42, archived)

Yes.
So long as we're classing Luton as a major city.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 14:58, archived)

isn't luton the racism capital of the uk?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:00, archived)

that's because it's full of pakis

( mongychops, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:05, archived)

makes sense

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:07, archived)

Tommy Robinson was a pupil at the school my wife worked at.
By all accounts, he was a bit dim.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:07, archived)

he was good in black adder

( mongychops, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:09, archived)

I liked this, so I clicked 'I Like This'

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:19, archived)

oh is that what that's for?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:22, archived)

i just click it 'cause i like a forum user, sometimes

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:26, archived)

I switch the lights on and off 17 times otherwise my family will die

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:04, archived)

21/f/your heart

( $$ ✅, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:13, archived)

wanna cyber?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:31, archived)

yea
x x x
( $$ ✅, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:36, archived)

I can tell you - well not /talk - but the people who've liked the FB page
i.imgur.com/QuwgKfT.png
( rob, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:34, archived)

don't make this sexual

( $$ ✅, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:36, archived)

women hahahahahaha

( mongychops, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:36, archived)

the the were a shit band m8

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:37, archived)

definitely had two 'the's in, editing is not cool man

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:47, archived)

by the way, the front page looks really shit now, that should prevent any noobs joining up
cheers
( mongychops, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:38, archived)

that's the plan

( rob, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:54, archived)

noobs are the worst

( mongychops, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:02, archived)

we were all noobs once
the trick is to stick it out, even if you are having a horrible time and everyone makes fun of your bebo profile
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:05, archived)

now cross reference against how many of those users also follow britain first

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:38, archived)

bullshit
fuck your infographic and fuck you
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:04, archived)

woah
where did that come from?
Don't already ruin love Day before it has happened
( $$ ✅, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:11, archived)

Nah, fuck him

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:14, archived)

^upshat

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:18, archived)

Wouldn't you be??
I'm mad as hell!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:25, archived)

i would and i am

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:56, archived)

haha as if anyone still uses facebook

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 17:01, archived)

i'm a non gender specific multi tonal person earning less than the queen but more than her slaves. i live in a small village
( sock more tea vicar?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:36, archived)

Do you know what
I reckon if you killed a swan, the queen wouldn't give two shits.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:05, archived)

interestingly* the queen only "owns" swans on a couple of stretches of the thames
all other swans are protected under the normal wildlife and countryside act

*may or may not be interesting
( sock more tea vicar?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:12, archived)

Either way, she would not be arsed

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:15, archived)

yes

( sock more tea vicar?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:18, archived)

know any other swan facts?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:15, archived)

No one has ever had their arm broken by one, that's for sure

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:16, archived)

there are no swans in Swanage
another swan fact!
( $$ ✅, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:17, archived)

i don't think i've ever seen a swan in swansea

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:20, archived)

the lesson here is never visit swansea

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:21, archived)

We're all learning here today

( $$ ✅, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:26, archived)

i've been to swansea, a man made a new roof for my wife's convertible

( sock more tea vicar?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:29, archived)

+ I've been to paradise but I've never been to me

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 17:00, archived)

Yet there are loads of cars in Cardiff
Weird
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:25, archived)

nobody drives in cardiff, there's too much traffic

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:27, archived)

You just blew my mind

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:20, archived)

mute swans are quite difficult to sex
the female has a slightly more blue hue to her orange beak
( sock more tea vicar?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:28, archived)

are you using sex as a verb there?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:29, archived)

yes

( sock more tea vicar?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:30, archived)

^ swan sex tourist

( mongychops, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:30, archived)

i bet the queen would have something to say about that

( sock more tea vicar?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:31, archived)

best kind

( $$ ✅, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:32, archived)

I know where Frank went
He is got a bit part as that Toaster on Red Dwarf.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 15:43, archived)

you is stupid

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:06, archived)

15/f/california

( Zuowan, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:21, archived)

i thought cr3 had locked this place down so that it was inaccessible to everyone outside the uk

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 16:23, archived)

I heard he doesn't let africans in

( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 17:32, archived)

alright

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 17:47, archived)

there's nothing average about my income

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 20:30, archived)

OK, that last thread is now too wide to be read comfortably on my phone.
I think we established that the WiiU is a disappointment, and that manolith is hyperactive (there may have been other things, but I didn't read them), so it's time to move on.
Can I justify getting some proper, over the ear, headphones, or will I just look like more of a twat than usual?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:27, archived)

Maybe if you posted a picture of yourself it would help us to decide for you.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:28, archived)

maybe if we only replied to this sub thread we could have a whole new thread reasonable quickly just by pushing it all to the right

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:30, archived)

maybe tomorrow, i'll wanna settle down
until tomorrow, i'll just keep moving on
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:31, archived)

I hope each time that the next leap will be the leap home

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:33, archived)

I look nothing like the picture in my profile, if that's any help, 2Can.
Flattered that people want me to start more threads, however.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:33, archived)

how far is it from your eyebrows to your hairline?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:42, archived)

One and the same

( Glovington, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:43, archived)

About two inches.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:50, archived)

bit vague. can you not get someone nearby to measure it properly?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:51, archived)

There's no one nearby that I'd feel comfortable touching me.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:53, archived)

I'd would
( Glovington, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:23, archived)

That sounds about right.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:35, archived)

I assume all b3tans are aound 40 years old, and fat, if that's any help

( Glovington, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:43, archived)

i'm going to hazard a guess that monmun is mid thirties
he's still too full of hope to be older
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:44, archived)

what rubbish
I'm not in my mid thirties yet, and haven't been for some time.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:45, archived)

yeah, you're an anomaly

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:47, archived)

stop flirting with me, beardo

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:50, archived)

you don't mean that

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:53, archived)

I'll admit, I love it when it gets a bit rapey

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:53, archived)

Chatting with you keeps me young, mano.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:52, archived)

so, was i right?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:54, archived)

Yes.
I'm 37, and I like good food, bad films and romantic walks in the moonlight.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:34, archived)

I certainly fit that stereotype.
Except for the age bit. And the fat bit.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:46, archived)

so you're 60 and morbidly obese?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:53, archived)

Shhh
ginger
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:55, archived)

why do you insist on telling people? now they will treat me different

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:59, archived)

They have a right to know
Like Megan's Law, but with hair and that
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:00, archived)

Oh god, are you really a ginger?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:00, archived)

some of my best friends are ginger

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:09, archived)

Don't get me wrong, *he's* alright
it's just the rest of them
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:13, archived)

Hey, I....well...if I'm....I'm not....
just shut up
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:46, archived)

I tell people I'm 40 to look cool

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:57, archived)

The people I work with were surprised to hear I was 38 last birthday
And yes, they thought I was younger. But that's probably because I like video games, eat crap and wear t-shirts all the time.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:58, archived)

The people I work with don't know when my birthday is because I don't tell them

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:59, archived)

Makes sense
I, on the other hand, crave attention from my peers
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:01, archived)

I just want to be left alone.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:02, archived)

Oh, the other 364 days of the year they can all get fucked

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:04, archived)

Unless they bring in cakes for their own birthdays I imagine.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:06, archived)

I'm not obliged to speak to them, regardless of pastry related circumstances
I wait until everyone's chatting, then swoop in undetected. Like a cakey ninja.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:07, archived)

You're my hero

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:08, archived)

I'm just trying to save the world one custard doughnut at a time

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:10, archived)

Looks like you're doing a lot of hard work

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:17, archived)

I sure am

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:18, archived)

why is that?
maybe we could get together sometime and talk about it?
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:04, archived)

I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to make money.
For other people.
That I eventually get a bit of.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:05, archived)

Are you strong like lion?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:06, archived)

Ooh, cheeky edit

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:11, archived)

soz m8

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:13, archived)

s'ok m8

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:13, archived)

i'll be 17 next week

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:31, archived)

I want to sniff your furry ears

( $$ ✅, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:47, archived)

I'd probably let you.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:49, archived)

It depends
Are you going to wear them in your house while sitting on your Eames Ottoman Lounger, listening to King Crimson and ELO vinyl? Then sure, get some.

Are you going to wear them on the bus, in public, listening to donkdonkdonk-woahoh "tunes" or, worse, hip-hop? Then don't bother; you're already cunt enough.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:44, archived)

you can't tell me that wearing these while stepping out with my fresh home boys is a bad thing.
geekadelphia.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/nokia_headphones_ironman.jpg
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:47, archived)

wow

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:56, archived)

I'm not sure they're real.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:59, archived)

No, I'm not having that
In fact, Imma buy them right now
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:01, archived)

I'll probably be listening to Radio 4, whilst walking up to the shops.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 14:04, archived)

there are those really popular ones, beats by... Oh I can't remember

( mongychops, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:53, archived)

instantrimshot.com/
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:54, archived)

lol

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:55, archived)

that Dr.E fellow

( Glovington, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:22, archived)

DilDhadakneDo!
DilDhadakneDo DilDhadakneDo DilDhadakneDo DilDhadakneDo
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:02, archived)

I'm gonna get some new ones, mine broke a couple of days ago
I'm only gonna wear them indoors though cos I'm not a wanker
( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 13:17, archived)

I'm going to buy a new desk this weekend
What are you going to purchase, with money?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:02, archived)

Today?
Dunno. My new phone's supposed to be turning up today, but we'll see.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:03, archived)

My job thinks I need a new phone
Apparently I need something can do screencapture video, as if anyone wants to watch that sort of shit.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:14, archived)

Will they pay for it?
If so, might as well do it
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:16, archived)

Of course they fucking won't
They also think I need a Mac.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:23, archived)

fuck that then
The Cisco guys we work with get the option of having a Mac rather than a laptop...but they have to pay for them themselves. I don't know why you would do that.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:28, archived)

It's a startup where the boss, the project manager and the business manager all have macs
but everyone who does some actual work uses a PC of some sort.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:52, archived)

Some more flowerpots. I find it vary had to get the ratio of my seeds to compost to flowerpots just right.
I'll probably end up with too many flowerpots again and then I'll have to buy more seeds and compost next weekend.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:05, archived)

What are you growing?
I fancied growing some fucking massive sunflowers on my lower balcony so that I can see it from my upper balcony.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:15, archived)

Courgettes, giant cucumbers, normal cucumbers, beef tomatoes, lettuce, potatoes, cucamelons, beetroot, jalapenos, butternut squash, various herbs, carnivorous plants, sweat peas...
the list goes on and on.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:21, archived)

You revolting fucking hippy.

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:23, archived)

That's rich from someone living in a country that uses vegetables for currency.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:36, archived)

That's an outdated and incorrect stereotype.
Since joining the EU, Poland's official currency is the Stolen Volkswagen.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:40, archived)

Also I don't eat any of them, I hate vegetables. I use the mint in mojitos though.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:38, archived)

You revolting fucking yuppie.

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:55, archived)

I've got a lovely image of your garden just full of pots stacked up,
And you carrying a big bag of compost and your wife, sitting in the conservatory, where no light gets in past the giant unruly plants, crying quietly while the kids ask what's wrong and why is daddy singing a song about flowers
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:08, archived)

Not grown any kids yet

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:27, archived)

you've been married for ages now, are you having problems?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:33, archived)

ym

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:05, archived)

haha, she makes you pay.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:09, archived)

nah, i just thought it would be fun to own grrrmachine's mum
and the price was so low, i reckon i can probably flip her
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:16, archived)

p g
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:17, archived)

hey, i know you quit facebook (again)
but i think this could tempt you back; every day it tells you a few headlines of 'trending' news. today, this was apparently worth inclusion:

"Big Sean: Rapper Reportedly Tweets About Justin Bieber's On-Stage Hug With Ariana Grande"
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:41, archived)

Wow, you really know how to push my buttons

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:50, archived)

see also:
Alyssa Milano: Actress's Breast Milk Confiscated by London Heathrow Airport
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:54, archived)

Oh man
Do any of the headlines contain the phrase "What happens next will blow your mind!"
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:55, archived)

you also miss people posting motivational quotes like this one:
"I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand.
Henceforth will I apply ALL my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my
potential until it cries for mercy."
( $$ ✅, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:54, archived)

And this is why I'm no longer on there
that, and the constant reminder that people have children and feel the need to share photographs of them
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:56, archived)

Guess what phone I got?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:54, archived)

unlock.nokiafree.org/phones/7600.jpg
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:56, archived)

Haha, blocked
Nah, I got the HTC One M8, m8
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:56, archived)

And anyone who says I got it because it's called 'm8'
is a filthy liar
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:58, archived)

your internet is well shit
you probably won't be able to see this but it's the next thing that is going to completely bankrupt you: kotaku.com/new-lego-game-leaks-1696710755
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:08, archived)

oh, you like Lego stuff?
here is some spam
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:11, archived)

I'll watch those later

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:16, archived)

not clicking that, could be a series of really dull videos by a cunt, soz

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:23, archived)

I thought that's what you were into

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:21, archived)

i like dull forums full of cunts, not videos so much

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:33, archived)

Oh god, the Destiny thing?
Yep, I'll be broke by 2016
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:15, archived)

Dimensions, that's it

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:19, archived)

Shit.
We already have loads of Skylanders gathering dust, and the Infinity collection is growing, we don't need another one of these games, thank you very much.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:21, archived)

Same
We've managed to avoid Amiibo, but the Skylanders/Infinty thing is causing storage issues. Not to mention the fact that you have to buy a new fucking portal each time a new game comes out.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:25, archived)

i've got three amiibos
i guess you could say i have... a plethora
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:36, archived)

I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora
and then find out that that person has no idea what it means to have a plethora.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:42, archived)

forgive me, el hato
but could it be that, once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:52, archived)

I really love that film
I think it's on Youtube acutally
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:00, archived)

Hooray!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ocguw5sN_Zs
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:01, archived)

My kids are aware of amiibos, but none of us have the faintest idea what they're supposed to be for,
so I don't think I need to worry about them. Luckily, I grew up with a Sega, so have no idea what most of the figures are meant to be, and so I'm not drawn to them in the slightest - the Infinity figure certainly push my buttons, though (my Toy Box is done up like The Grid), and a Lego equivalent would probably tug at my wallet.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:06, archived)

You can use Amiibos on Super Smash Bros
and some of them will unlock additional outfits in Mario Kart. AS far as I can tell....that's about it
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:07, archived)

Unfortunately I think Nintendo prefer to go down the route of
'Someone will buy it....right?'
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:08, archived)

there's more things than that but those are the highest profile games that use them
to be honest, i think they're collectable figurines first and game peripherals second
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:10, archived)

fair enough
I have to admit, I'm not nearly as invested in the Wii U as any other console I've owned. I need a Mario Galaxy and a proper Zelda title SOON.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:13, archived)

the mario game that's available is the tits, man.
get that. it's 4 player and evryting
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:20, archived)

Yes, it does look good
We got Super Mario Bros for it, which is ok. Multiplayer on that is just too frustrating though. We kept pushing each other off the edge while trying to jump. Ridiculous.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:24, archived)

yeah, that's an intensely frustrating game. sack it off and get the 3d one
have you seen the upcoming 'splatoon'?
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:34, archived)

Yeah, that looks fun
Thing is, Nintendo just seem to keep bringing games that are 'ok'. So few of them are brilliant. I fear that they're losing me :(
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:53, archived)

Smash Brothers gives me a headache - we've got the Wii version, so I can't imagine we'll get the sequel.
Think I'm safe from amiibos, for the time being. Getting the extra dlc for Mario Kart, next month, so that'll be all the new tracks, cars and characters - can't see any point to the amiibos, so will continue to ignore them.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:20, archived)

I bought Smash Bros for the Wii because it was £2
I very soon figured out why. This has influenced my decision to not buy it for Wii U.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:23, archived)

i love smash bros so much
although it's definitely not for everyone. it's a bit chaotic and doesn't do a good job of explaining how to play it effectively
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:37, archived)

How much undiluted squash do you have to neck before playing?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:41, archived)

just a litre or so

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:48, archived)

I take it that, once you're tripping on E-numbers, it doesn't bother you that the computer just picks a winner at random, after each match?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:50, archived)

well... i mean, no it doesn't
it even shows you stats after the match which show who won and why. there's a lot of problems with brawl but that's not one of them (brawl is the weakest game in the series, by the way)
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:00, archived)

What's the point of the big percentage numbers at the bottom of the screen, then?
It looks like a damage meter, but it goes over 100%, gets reset when you fall off the edge, and has no bearing on the outcome of the match.
So far as I can tell, the game is just about mashing buttons whilst random colours and noise come out of the TV, then a winner is arbitrarily declared after a certain time. Horrible.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:17, archived)

you get KOs by knocking people off the stage. that's the whole point of the game
the damage percentage rises as you get knocked about. the higher the percentage, the further you fly when hit. when you get hit, you need to try and get back on to the stage to avoid being KO'd. the player that casuses the most KOs wins.
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:24, archived)

I'm going to print this out and stick it on the wall above the kids' telly.
Thanks, mano. Could you do me a detailed list of controls and moves, please?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:36, archived)

the sad thing is... i probably could do that, yeah
remember that each character can jump at least twice and if you hold up and use your special attack, it sends you further into the air. that's how you avoid getting knocked off the stage. if you let the opening cutscene play and then don't press any buttons, it'll give you a little instructional video
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 12:46, archived)

I've changed my mind.
I'm going to keep this to myself and beat my children at their own game.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 14:07, archived)

My brother donated his copy to us.
I'd quite like to give it back.
That the side scrolling beat-em-up mode is somehow even worse than the main arena mode, is quite an a achievement, on Nintendo's part.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:38, archived)

They're not selling it to me, I'll be honest
www.nintendo.com/amiibo/what-is-amiibo
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:19, archived)

"You might get new outfits, power-ups, or other fun bonuses."
Is that implying that you might get nothing? Nice one, Nintendo.
I'd like something good to come out on the Wii - I don't game like I used to, but I've done Arkham City to death, Mario Kart hurts my hands, and the Infinity Toy Box feels crippled (performance warnings once more than a handful of decorations are planted). I've got ZombiiU, but it feels more like a chore, than a game. Zelda and Splattoon need to make an appearance, sooner rather than later.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:31, archived)

xylophone?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:58, archived)

saxomophone

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:58, archived)

any phone you have would be a homophone, lololol

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:08, archived)

oh hahahaha!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:16, archived)

get it?!
because you're of the genus homo sapien, you bender!
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:25, archived)

lol yeah I get it it's funny hahaha

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:25, archived)

You didn't get a voucher through the post?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:15, archived)

Nah, he uses groupon innit

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:29, archived)

it just makes sense

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:39, archived)

I use wowcher lol

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:40, archived)

were you swayed by their amazing and not-at-all annoying adverts?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:43, archived)

yer

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:51, archived)

Although I'd probably fuck the one who walks into the glass door

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:01, archived)

But I wouldn't give her my best
and I'd probably be drunk. So really all I can promise is an evening of mediocre company, followed by an embarrassing and uncomfortable finish.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:02, archived)

A train ticket and some lager

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:12, archived)

Are you going to drink on the train like some pissed-up plebian lout?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:15, archived)

I might, having experimented for a few years the best train can is M&S belgian lager

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:17, archived)

You're not just drunk
You're M&S drunk
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:03, archived)

No spending plans other than a few ciders.
I hope this has been informative.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:23, archived)

Not really
What type of cider?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:39, archived)

6/7 this week
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-32217581
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:42, archived)

5 for me. 'shaken not stirred'

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:45, archived)

i got the same message for 6/7, what rubbish

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:55, archived)

oh doves, you could have made a new thread for this
I wouldn't have minded.
5/7 for me, but that last question has a cunt's answer.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:49, archived)

yeah, that's the one i got wrong
skyfall was shit anyway
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:53, archived)

Oh man
1/7 :(
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:53, archived)

did you get the one about baggage handling right?
seemed obvious that them japs would never lose any luggage
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:54, archived)

Nope, I picked Denmark

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:56, archived)

1 out of 7

( $$ ✅, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:53, archived)

soz m8

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:55, archived)

it's okay
I know the limits of mental capacity and shouldn't be too surprised
( $$ ✅, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:56, archived)

after a promising start I got overconfident but I'm happy to walk away with a 3

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:56, archived)

A superlative effort from the young vegatarian there
he's got to be happy with that result
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:00, archived)

nothing, I require nothing new

( mongychops, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:05, archived)

after reading what you said down there, i just want you to know that 'live from the lake' is a /talk institution
and has the full backing of the /talk moderators (i assume, i haven't asked the secret mod)
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:10, archived)

yeah it's fine with me

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:16, archived)

oh what a giveaway

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:16, archived)

you idiot!

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:25, archived)

not even a new van?
or a new watch?
or a new bivvy?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:12, archived)

I have a new van, baselworld was a bit of a let down this year although I had fun there, and my bivvy is still the best out there, soz

( mongychops, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:25, archived)

tell me about your new van then

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:28, archived)

it's just a Ford trend connect, 1.6 , very nice to drive

( mongychops, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 10:41, archived)

tidy little derv burner

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 11:23, archived)

morning

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 7:08, archived)

Morning monsto
stonking innit?
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 7:12, archived)

Looking like a lovely morning.
Shame I have to go to work.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 7:22, archived)

I'm going to go and take a big breath of all this smog they're banging on about on the news
as a big "fuck you" to all the asthma suffering proles
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 7:26, archived)

I'm going to hold my breath, all day.
With any luck, I'll pass out behind the wheel.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 7:37, archived)

morning

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 8:20, archived)

Hi, another misty morning by the lake

( mongychops, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 7:18, archived)

How's the fishing?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 7:38, archived)

good ta, had a few last night, biggest 23lb

( mongychops, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 7:43, archived)

Was it |----------this-----------| big?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 8:38, archived)

can't talk about fishing on this forum anymore, popular people said it's boring, no more fish or bivvy pics, soz

( mongychops, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 8:45, archived)

:(

( $$ ✅, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 8:46, archived)

hahahah
"popular people", on /talk.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 8:55, archived)

Live from the Lake is a /talk highlight.
Who's more popular than me?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 8:59, archived)

Yeah but those are the same idiots who said brb's lawn updates were boring

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:01, archived)

hello hello, friday again then

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 7:44, archived)

morning
Today is my last day of Easter holidays. What should I do to mark the occasion? (I actually have to do some real work later so it cannot be anything that would mean me taking my own life, thanks)
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 7:52, archived)

Have sex with someone who's over the age of consent

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 8:21, archived)

Don't take your own life then but just fuck yourself up a bit.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:03, archived)

Pedicabo equus

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 8:18, archived)

There's no need for that sort of language.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 8:31, archived)

paenitet m8

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 8:34, archived)

That's all well and good, but don't forget that Jehova isn't spelt "Jehova".

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 8:50, archived)

Yeah, last time I got that wrong I ended up plummeting to my death.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 9:12, archived)

morning

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 8:20, archived)

yo

( $$ ✅, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 8:21, archived)

up yours, dickface

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 8:23, archived)

morning

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Apr 2015, 8:26, archived)

Mor-ning-a-ling.
It's shaping up to be a lovely weekend. Just have to get work out of the way first.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 10 Apr 2015, 8:52, archived)

FUCK

(mingeswingers, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 20:33, archived)

LIFT

(mingeswingers, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 20:33, archived)

Please keep that cancer over in /happytoast where it belongs.
kthnxbai
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 9 Apr 2015, 21:28, archived)

Outrageous.

( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 20:37, archived)

your place or mine?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 20:38, archived)

hahahaha yeah

( mongychops, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 21:11, archived)

yes very good, well done

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 21:23, archived)

I wonder if I can change my vote for the image challenge

( $$ ✅, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 21:31, archived)

Haha, classic Woked off a pog!

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 22:18, archived)

This place would be dead on it's arse if you stopped posting.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 22:23, archived)

Anything good on telly tonight?
Emmerdale's a bit shit
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 19:21, archived)

no

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 19:22, archived)

If you've got netflix Marco Polo and Unbreakable kimmy schmitd are good.
If you haven't watch news 24.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 19:57, archived)

I've got Emmerdale on :(

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 20:06, archived)

I haven't watched it for years. Sounds shitty.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 20:15, archived)

it's actually quite good
It's got PC June off The Bill in it
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 20:18, archived)

:(

(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 20:22, archived)

why is bill gates the first result for this.
www.google.co.uk/search?q=PC+June+off+The+Bill&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=7dMmVav5GIfpaIKegcgN&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAQ&biw=1600&bih=765
(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 20:33, archived)

Haha
maybe he had a cameo appearance
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 20:38, archived)

FUCKING HELL

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 20:17, archived)

any tit in it?

( $$ ✅, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 20:26, archived)

alright you fucking cunt bastard spastic horse slasher cunt twat fucking shitcunt fuckhead faggots

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 17:59, archived)

To the H, to the O, to the R to the B to the S
Recognize.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 18:04, archived)

up yer bum

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 18:04, archived)

mr h

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 18:05, archived)

rich
I mean meaty
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 18:07, archived)

spose.

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 18:15, archived)

brbrbrbrbrbrb

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 19:10, archived)

did you just motorboat him?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 19:26, archived)

www.everydayanalysis.com/post/58136093633/fail-is-the-ghost-of-success
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 18:15, archived)

tfb;dr

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 18:15, archived)

what the fuck did i just read?

( $$ ✅, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 20:08, archived)

I love it when you talk dirty

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 18:32, archived)

mud

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 19:10, archived)

*wanks furiously*

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 19:22, archived)

soup

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 19:04, archived)

chilli

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 19:09, archived)

you win a point

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 19:21, archived)

sand

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 19:09, archived)

bleach

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 19:09, archived)

a spoon

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 19:09, archived)

penguin

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 20:24, archived)

up yer bum

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 19:11, archived)

Had a lovely bike ride around Clumber Park, nothing left of the holiday, now, but the drive home.
I just wish you could have all come with me.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 15:17, archived)

maybe next year
hopefully it will end up like the jolly boys outing in Only Fools and Horses!
( $$ ✅, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 15:28, archived)

I'm taking the missus away for a few days, next week.
I'm sure she'd love for you to tag along.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 15:31, archived)

cheers
I'll pack light
( $$ ✅, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 15:55, archived)

Lovely.
You can take over my conjugal duties whilst I sink a few whiskies in the bar.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 15:59, archived)

we may have to set up a rota for that
I get exhausted easily
( $$ ✅, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 16:03, archived)

I'll make a face

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 16:01, archived)

excellent
It's all coming together
( $$ ✅, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 16:03, archived)

you made me believe I was there

( mongychops, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 15:28, archived)

I'm glad you enjoyed my blog, mongy.
I know you don't get out much, anymore.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 15:35, archived)

Im not sure I could get out anymore than I do

( mongychops, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 15:44, archived)

Probably for the best.
Wouldn't want you to break a hip, or anything.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 15:46, archived)

my Nan broke her hip, then died :(

( mongychops, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 17:41, archived)

At least she died how she had lived.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 17:55, archived)

On impact?

( H.B.Mupps, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 18:35, archived)

In some ways we were all there with you

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 15:39, archived)

The kids were a little creeped out by the way you kept following us at a consistent distance,
but I'd like to thank you for not coming within touching distance.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 15:44, archived)

brilliantly done :)

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 15:45, archived)

you should have worn a gopro for the entire time
then we could have been
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 15:43, archived)

you kids and your lack of imagination

( mongychops, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 15:45, archived)

is that some new apple product?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 15:52, archived)

I'm glad you're having a great time.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 15:45, archived)

Thanks, meaty!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 15:47, archived)

You deserve it.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 15:51, archived)

Couldn't agree more, meaty.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 15:58, archived)

Splendid
I'm away for a few days next week. I may or not post during that time. Probably not, to be honest, but who knows how bored I'll get.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 16:03, archived)

At least give us three rings, to let us know that you've arrived safely.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 16:15, archived)

of course

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 16:19, archived)

So, Barry Manilow eh? Just goes to show
So...er....Alright?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:27, archived)

how do you make barry manilow's nose a mile long?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:29, archived)

fold it in half!
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:30, archived)

oh you!

( $$ ✅, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:33, archived)

You know what I call Barry Manilow?
I call him Barry MASSIVE-NOSE

hahaha brilliant
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:40, archived)

you're a regular michael mcintyre!

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:03, archived)

That seems accurate

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:08, archived)

Big face: check
Not at all funny: check
Inexplicably successful: check

Wow...you might be on to something here
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:09, archived)

i mean, that haircut what a give away

( $$ ✅, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:33, archived)

His face looks like a little tortoise

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:41, archived)

I just hope he's happy, you only get one life, don't waste it.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:46, archived)

meaty saving the day once again

( $$ ✅, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:48, archived)

Who am I to judge another for doing what makes his life complete? He should be admired.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:50, archived)

it's a sick world out there

( $$ ✅, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:51, archived)

terrorism, AIDS, nuclear weapons, poorly built garden furniture

( $$ ✅, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:51, archived)

It is sick, but if we chose to we could cure it. Will you?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:52, archived)

Anyway, back to my original point, good for him even though it's clearly not a *proper* marriage lol gay

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:54, archived)

I'm going to cure it like I cured that ham three years ago

( $$ ✅, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:54, archived)

Just leave it for a bit?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:56, archived)

basically

( $$ ✅, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:05, archived)

I quite agree
I brought it up at work, and the outpouring of casual homophobia has been extraordinary. One of my favourites has been "Well I'm not surprised" with absolutely nothing to back it up.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:54, archived)

No smoke without fire, all camp effeminate men must either be gay or in denial, that's a fact

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:55, archived)

I think it's funny that this is all still considered an 'issue'
Sexual preference only effects the people in the relationship, so who cares? And if they ban gay marriage, those people are still going to be gay, so what does it matter? People are ridiculous.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:57, archived)

As a man you have to be careful as all gays fancy all other men, just like I as a st8 chap fancy all women ever, no matter what age, race or disability, I want to do them all.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:00, archived)

And no one is going to stop me.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:02, archived)

I'd fuck everyone given half the chance

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:13, archived)

Good lord, imagine what you could do with...
...a whole chance?!?!?!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:14, archived)

The possibilities are endless

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:22, archived)

I bet as soon as one person said something homophobic it gave someone else the confidence to add their homophobic views
that's how it works at my place
( $$ ✅, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:55, archived)

Pretty much
See also: casual racism
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:58, archived)

YOGOL,DWI is the new YOLO

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:03, archived)

WWMSD

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:04, archived)

IWEWJGAIOHOEOATT

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:07, archived)

Did you mean?
OSWEGO HOTEL ICWA GUWAHATI IEI GUWAHATI
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:14, archived)

I also googled this
I bet he meant 'GUWAHATI IEI GUWAHATI'

That's exactly the sort of thing he'd say
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:15, archived)

I've never said 'guwahati iei guwahati'

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:21, archived)

Woah alright mr defensive, no one said you had.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:23, archived)

I can't have people saying I've said stuff like that
It's too sensitive, alright?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:24, archived)

Typical guwahati iei guwahati sayer

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:25, archived)

^wouldn't know what to do with a guwahati iei guwahati if it hit him

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:30, archived)

I'd give the guwahati iei guwahati straight to you, since you seem to be the fucking expert on it m8
God, Two Hats, sometimes you make me sooooo mad.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:32, archived)

Look, guwahati iei guwahati will always be guwahati iei guwahati
Let's let it be guwahati iei guwahati in its own way, yeah?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:42, archived)

You said that about 'wubba lubba dub dub' and look where that got us

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:52, archived)

wubba lubba dub dub

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:54, archived)

wubba lubba dub dub!

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 13:17, archived)

wubba lubba dub dub!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 13:31, archived)

i bet you think about saying it every day though, you coward

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:45, archived)

I might think it, but I seldom say it

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 13:32, archived)

can't smile without poo

( mongychops, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:19, archived)

what's he up to now then?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:36, archived)

Nothing
He got married to his manager.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:41, archived)

seems a bit suspect to me, I reckon he's probably done it for tax reasons.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:42, archived)

almost certainly
Everything I do is for tax reasons
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:43, archived)

even that night in Paris where we saw the shooting stars?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:44, archived)

i can't believe you ended up in the same hotel as vic & bob

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:48, archived)

I wish they had never made a new series of that.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:49, archived)

I wish they'd never made a new series of your mum's face m8

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 13:33, archived)

they had to, really
there's so much of it to cover
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 13:49, archived)

I heard they're ending it with a feature film

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 14:25, archived)

#sixseasonsandamovie

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 14:44, archived)

his nuts

( mongychops, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:43, archived)

or his husbands colon

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:43, archived)

he might be a bottom.
Try being a little less judgemental Two "homo hater" Hats
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 Apr 2015, 12:49, archived)

You're right
I wish I hadn't said that
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 13:31, archived)

morning
Youngest fell out of bed four times, and now they're watching some stupid card game cartoon.
Not having breakfast at the B&B, today.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 7:13, archived)

it's those satin sheets and silk pj's, very slippery

( mongychops, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 7:24, archived)

morning monster munch
what is so different about this bed that your little one is struggling with so much?

I should have done something more constructive with my week off.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 8:01, archived)

your holiday sounds like it's a bit of a damp squid

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 8:15, archived)

squib

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 8:16, archived)

NO YOUR A SQUIB

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 9:44, archived)

ym's a squib m8e

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 10:21, archived)

SQUIB'S ARE 98% WATER OR SUMMAT

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 10:26, archived)

morn monmun

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 8:29, archived)

alright love?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 9:26, archived)

alright. nice day for it, innit?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 9:30, archived)

It sure is
I made sure not to wear two black t-shirts today. That was....a mistake.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 9:31, archived)

i can't imagine when that would ever not be a mistake
also, try and stay on the right side of any doors you encounter today, yeah?
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 9:43, archived)

The right side or the correct side?
What am I saying, they're the same thing
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 10:20, archived)

you almost went full-brb then

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 10:21, archived)

Sorry, I didn't sleep too well last night

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 10:23, archived)

So, after the SCATHING 'Self-Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior' a couple of years ago
WWE have brought out 'Ultimate Warrior: Always Believe', now that everyone likes him again because he gave up fighting against Vince and then died. Fuck sake.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 10:30, archived)

wwe are the best at erasing things from history

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 10:37, archived)

Chris who?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 10:38, archived)

on the wwe network (only 9.99!) it lets you jump to the beginning or thrilling conclusion of any match
unless it's a benoit match. those shall not be highlighted
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 11:29, archived)

i don't know much about wwe
but as a kid I fucking loved Smackdown! for PS1
( $$ ✅, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 10:43, archived)

I loved those games

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 10:44, archived)

Don't worry I'll pay for McD's today. After what I left in the toilet, it's only fair.

( $$ ✅, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 8:34, archived)

I don't go to McD's much these days
but recently I have been jonesing for a sausage & egg mcmuffin.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 9:26, archived)

don't do it
I haven't eaten one in ages but had to grab something to eat before heading on the last train. I felt it the next day.
( $$ ✅, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 9:32, archived)

AS A TREAT

( mongychops, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 9:33, archived)

It should ONLY ever be a TREAT

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 9:34, archived)

morning

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 8:40, archived)

bit clumsy m8

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 9:22, archived)

they all rolled over and one fell out

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 9:24, archived)

disgusting

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 9:26, archived)

his family are bears AICMFP

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 9:47, archived)

haha children are so stupid

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 9:46, archived)

eveninh

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 22:08, archived)

alrihht

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 22:11, archived)

noswaith dda

( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 22:14, archived)

fuck you

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 22:23, archived)

Ddiollch pal llawer

( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 22:30, archived)

...f'tahgn!

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 7:47, archived)

Aye.
Early start, tomorrow, off to some National Trust park in Nottingham.
My youngest just fell out of bed.
#betyoullallbegladwhenigobacktowork
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 22:37, archived)

Bugger me
Woah. York and now Nottingham. You can see where the fag factories were. And where they made Raleigh Choppers.
( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 23:28, archived)

alrigt

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 0:04, archived)

hi

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 0:42, archived)

hey ssg - What's red and black and yellow and white and green and isn't there?

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 1:03, archived)

we have no guyanas today

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 1:19, archived)

alright

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 18:42, archived)

BUMHOLES
I mean, alright mr h.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 18:59, archived)

mr.h

( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 19:08, archived)

rightholes
Evening Mr Horrible.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 8 Apr 2015, 19:33, archived)

evening

( H.B.Mupps, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 19:57, archived)

spose

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 20:04, archived)

Ducked out of the ghost walk early, due to tired, irritable children, now eating chips on the walk back to the B&B
#noonecares
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 20:53, archived)

Don't worry Monster
Ghost walks in York or anywhere else aren't much cop. But York itself is splendid. Did you go to the Minster or National Railway Museum? All the Viking stuff too. And the chocolate. And a pub every 20 paces.
( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 21:31, archived)

Smelly Vikings and sweet shops have been the highlights of the day.
That and a shop selling swords. We'll probably come back again, do more museums, eat more chocolate and see the castle.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 22:31, archived)

I was there last week.
Barely saw any of it, sadly.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 8 Apr 2015, 23:06, archived)

ghosts don't exist though so it would have been a waste of time anyway

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 21:44, archived)

THEY MIGHT

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 21:49, archived)

Like Father Christmas
But don't tell the kiddies.
( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 21:50, archived)

existing is an abstract concept

( mongychops, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 22:00, archived)

Dunno about this
and neither did JPS. (no, not the fags).
( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 22:10, archived)

yeah

( vladimir, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 22:22, archived)

I was dead, all along.
*spoiler alert*
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 22:32, archived)

Howdy from the edge of civilization
Semaphore works best here. 0.21 Mb/s today.
( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Wed 8 Apr 2015, 21:40, archived)

Oof!
I've got plenty of internets to spare
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 9 Apr 2015, 0:06, archived)