bored of that now
squeeze it til I lose my mess
(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:18, archived)

Alright frank
I want to know what 2 Can's turtle joke was
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:19, archived)

Check the popular page
oh wait hahahaha
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:20, archived)

I don't get it. Your joke's funny though
Edit: I get it now. That's mean
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:21, archived)

That's why I'm so glad you're here now, because everyone can be mean to you instead.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:29, archived)

*finger-guns and winks*

( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:30, archived)

Sounds like something Big Dumb Face would sing

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:20, archived)

he had a car accident

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:23, archived)

dunno who that is, soz

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:23, archived)

youtu.be/kk99KcuAG7M?t=1m55s
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:30, archived)

not clicking that, virus etc

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:31, archived)

the only virus round here is you

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:35, archived)

dunno what that means, soz

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:45, archived)

It's very confusing when you queers battle

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 19:23, archived)

It's like the Great British Thick-Off

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 19:24, archived)

So you are comparing cocks, I don't understand bent

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 19:25, archived)

woah, bit defensive m8

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 19:29, archived)

fuck off back to qftw

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 19:35, archived)

up yours faggot

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 19:43, archived)

I hope a mod deletes all this thread

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:32, archived)

Bit busy soz

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:22, archived)

I wasn't talking to you

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:23, archived)

you are the sexiest thing to happen to /talk since janet

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:31, archived)

+ 's tits were sawn off

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:35, archived)

is it still turtley joke time?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 19:50, archived)

alright MGT you horrendous fishwife

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:00, archived)

posting this here so I don't forget to tell Two Hats he's a shit coder
blog.codinghorror.com/flattening-arrow-code/
(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:08, archived)

Is that a wang operating system

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:11, archived)

sure, if you like

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:18, archived)

Dancehall days

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:20, archived)

alright, so if a void is a type of function that doesn't return anything
then what other types of functions are there? Because all the coding I do just makes lego trains go round and round and round and round and round.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:14, archived)

functions that return values

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:15, archived)

function addTwoNumbersTogether (number1, number2) {
     return number1 + number2;
}

alert (addTwoNumbersTogether (2, 3)); 

will show a messagebox saying 5

wanker
(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:17, archived)

so alert will just run whenever its condition is met
it doesn't have to be explicitly called from another function?

I tried joining proper coding forums but I just couldn't get past the smell of cheese and onion.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:19, archived)

alert is the Javascript command to show a popup alert in the browser
it runs when that part of the script is reached

there's no conditions in that code, the function takes two parameters and returns the sum
(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:21, archived)

so
x = addTwoNumbersTogether (3, 7);

assigns the value 10 to variable x

although if you name your variable x then you're nearly as shit at coding as Two Hats
(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:22, archived)

alright, so it's just running top to bottom
This arduino stuff is a bastardized form of C++
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:23, archived)

Arduino is cut down C++
it runs void setup() once then keeps running void loop() forever more
(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:24, archived)

unless you've used interrupts
in which caseprogram execution jumps from the loop into the interrupt handler

that's why you keep interrupt handling code very short because every time the interrupt is triggered, the program stops whatever it was doing and jumps into the handler
(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:25, archived)

It's rude to intrrupt

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:27, archived)

not using interrupts, but I've made a state machine
so it's switching cases rather than calling up different functions.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:28, archived)

switch case is way better than nested ifs
congratulations, you really can code better than Two Hats
(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:29, archived)

are you trying even harder to nerd! you've got it covered

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:23, archived)

this from the man who operates technology by pouring beer into it

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:23, archived)

I'm unable to grasp your point, soz

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:25, archived)

he's writing a program to run toy trains, it doesn't get much more nerdy than that

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:26, archived)

when the code works I film it and put it on youtube
that's a bit more nerdy
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:28, archived)

Jewtube ain't nerd, it's jew

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:30, archived)

the holocaust is a lie

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:32, archived)

I don't speak northern, soz

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:35, archived)

fine, sit in the corner sipping your dry white wine then you nancy boy

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:35, archived)

^ jelly of my wine box

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:38, archived)

didn't know you had another girlfriend

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:40, archived)

when you get good enough to make a touch screen and write BUM JOBS on it, that's when you've arrived in the world of coding

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:31, archived)

I made a 16x2 LCD display some shit names
that probably counts.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLGiR8fwkpI
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:37, archived)

see all that "if LightSensorCounter == X" shit?
well if he stored the printable strings in an array and did some idiot checking on X then it condenses down a lot

string destinations[] = "TEMPLE OF DOOM", "SPEED CITY", "TITS", "BUM", "KNOCKERS";

lcd.print( destinations[LightSensorCounter]);

there ya go, all those messy if statements can fuck right off
(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:44, archived)

bookmarking this shit.

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:49, archived)

if you're doing repeated actions on a set of data then it makes sense to bung them in an array
then loop round the array

int arrayIndex;

for (arrayIndex =0; arrayIndex < destination.length -1; arrayIndex++) {

 lcd.print(destinations[arrayIndex);
 delay(1000);
 lcd.clear();

} 

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:55, archived)

what's this (delay) bollocks?
millis or GTFO
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:59, archived)

1000 millisecond delay to display a string for a second on the LCD you nobber

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 21:00, archived)

Yeah, I know what it does
The arduino forums simply hammer into you DON'T USE THE DELAY COMMAND because it blocks the arduino from doing anything else in the meantime
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 21:03, archived)

IT WAS EXAMPLE CODE YOU DRIBBLING COW'S PENIS

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 21:05, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbnjusltDHk
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 21:06, archived)

what language is this?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:59, archived)

alright MGT you horrendous fishwife

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 21:00, archived)

alright Frank

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 21:01, archived)

Sounds bent

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 21:00, archived)

not as bent as paying a nignog to wee down your chest

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 21:02, archived)

That won't last, cunt knocked his bird up, that rooms gone

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:29, archived)

the fuck are you banging on about now

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:31, archived)

Oh do keep up, or fuck off

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:34, archived)

lost interest about 20 minutes ago. soz

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:37, archived)

trains are in my office
there's another massive room for the sprog. I'll probably build a mezzanine in there too.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:32, archived)

Is that a small orange? sounds fancy

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:36, archived)

I'm eating cottage cheese as a snack because I've not got any change for the office vending machine.
What soul-crushing events have you experienced today? Answers involving me in any form don't count.
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 17:43, archived)

fuck off alan

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 17:51, archived)

You're shit at this question-answer thing. Be better

( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:03, archived)

fuck off alan?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:09, archived)

Still rubbish :(

( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:15, archived)

i had this bic biro that i had almost used all the ink in
i've never used up all the ink in a bic pen, and i've gone and lost this one. i'm fucking raging
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 17:51, archived)

smash a frisbee

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 17:54, archived)

Not me though

( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:01, archived)

write me an essay on why not
And fuck off while you do so.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:09, archived)

Someone's blatantly stolen it.
Find them and make them pay.
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:03, archived)

get a fucking life mate.
Just saying.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 17:57, archived)

Don't get me wrong, I'd love to.
But autists like you keep me coming back here.
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:02, archived)

if you'd just like to fuck off
You wouldn't have this problem
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:11, archived)

Georgia

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:10, archived)

Sweet Georgia

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:13, archived)

and the history books unfold ya
as a messed up motherfucker, bent in the mind
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 19:15, archived)

who built a superpower, but who paid the price
with the endless destruction of Russian lives
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 19:19, archived)

if you're the man of steel, i spit kryptonite
big dick mystic, known to hypnotise
i could end you with a whisper to your wife
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:14, archived)

Look into my eyes you perverted witch
See the soul of the man who made Mother Russia his bitch.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 20:41, archived)

you think i give a fuck about my wife?
my own son got locked up in prison and i didn't save his life
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 21:43, archived)

You got off easy when they pickled that moose cock
I'll leave your neck in a noose in a trench and shot.
All your family; shot.
All your wizard friends; shot.
Anyone who sold you pierogi; shot.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 24 Jul 2015, 6:12, archived)

starve you for days 'til you waste away
i even crush motherfuckers when i'm laid in state
pride of lenin took trotsky out of the picture
drop the hammer on you harder than i bitchslapped hitler
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Jul 2015, 8:05, archived)

I have no pride for you who ruined everything my revolution was doing to stop the bourgeoisie
I fought the bondage of classes,
the proletariat masses
have brought me here to spit a thesis against both of your asses.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 24 Jul 2015, 9:41, archived)

lemme start with you there, frankenstein. looking like something out of r.l.stine
it's hip-hop chowder, red over white
'cause the tsar's wife can't do shit tonight
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Jul 2015, 9:51, archived)

and Joseph, you were supposed to be my right hand man
but your loyalty shrivelled up like your right hand, man
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 24 Jul 2015, 10:02, archived)

our whole future was bright, you let your heart grow dark
and stopped the greatest revolution since the birth of marx!
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Jul 2015, 10:07, archived)

knock knock knock
did somebody say "birthmarks?"
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 24 Jul 2015, 10:10, archived)

yo i'm the host with the most, glasnost
assholes made a mess and the war got cold
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Jul 2015, 10:16, archived)

shock hands with both Ronalds; Reagan and McDonalds! No doubt
if your name end with "in", time to get out.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 24 Jul 2015, 10:18, archived)

i had the balls to let baryshnikov dance, playa
tore down that wall like the kool aid man, oh yeah
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Jul 2015, 10:32, archived)

You two need yoga, you need a shower
and you all need to learn how to handle real power.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 24 Jul 2015, 10:32, archived)

did somebody say 'real power'?
Дa, you want to mess with me?
i spit hot borsch when i'm crushing these beats
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Jul 2015, 10:51, archived)

blow it up like a tuba when I'm balling in Cuba
doing judo moves and schooling every communist сука
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 24 Jul 2015, 10:56, archived)

i'm a president in my prime, my enemies don't distract me
the last man who attacked me lived a half life, so comrade come at me
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Jul 2015, 11:52, archived)

you don't know what you're doing
when you try to bust a rhyme against a mind like Putin
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 24 Jul 2015, 11:56, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7813937
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Jul 2015, 14:48, archived)

Nobody liked my turtle jokes :(

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:18, archived)

I think they probably would have
if anyone else had told them.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:19, archived)

What was it? Tell me in the thread above!

( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:20, archived)

Hello
'reet?
( MONO!, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:29, archived)

Jesus, MONO
What now?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:32, archived)

behind you

( MONO!, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:34, archived)

why wolves howl?

because they have no idea what are they doing
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:38, archived)

lol!

( MONO!, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:39, archived)

why did the cow go to the movies?

because movies
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:41, archived)

why are oranges called oranges?

because they are oranges
( MONO!, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:43, archived)

why did the skittle go bowling?

because he is part of bowling.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:47, archived)

what did the postman say to the prime minister?

here's your post
( MONO!, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:47, archived)

why did the telephone ring?

to alert the owner of an incoming telephone call
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:49, archived)

why was 6 afraid of 7?

because he murdered your wife and kids
( MONO!, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:54, archived)

i impressed everyone in the office with a nested if function today
what have you done with your life?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:35, archived)

you fucking what m8?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:37, archived)

HE IMPRESSED EVERYONE IN THE OFFICE WITH A NESTED IF FUNCTION
jesus, turn your hearing aid up
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:47, archived)

no, you're hearing aid
lol
( MONO!, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:48, archived)

lol, good one MONO

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:56, archived)

Why did you need to get to QA?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 16:15, archived)

me da' is here
there's something wrong with his innards
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 16:49, archived)

God speed

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 17:31, archived)

I've done all sorts
surely you don't expect me to list everything here?
( MONO!, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:39, archived)

yeah go on

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:51, archived)

life in general

( MONO!, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:53, archived)

Produced a sufficient number of children that I'm pretty confident of my genetic code being passed on for a few generations.
Fulfilling my biological and evolutionary purpose is all that matters.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:57, archived)

You fucking cunt

( MONO!, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 16:05, archived)

The only reason I'm breeding is to balance out all the cuntishness you've brought into this world

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 16:39, archived)

Wouldn't it just be easier to kill him and all his family?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 16:39, archived)

no, I'm fairly sure it's easier to unleash a torrent of semen into my girlfriend's uterus
only takes a minute; two if she's lucky
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 16:45, archived)

Is she pregnant yet ?

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 17:21, archived)

yep

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 17:41, archived)

Another bastard arrives on the planet then, get married you heathen

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:10, archived)

Pretty much what my mother in law said when we told her

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 18:13, archived)

oi cunt, we're having a conversation here, no one cares about that shit

( Zuowan, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 17:13, archived)

twitter.com/RealBobMortimer/status/624111786724323328
( Zuowan, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:51, archived)

oi cunt, we're having a conversation here, no one cares about that shit

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:52, archived)

Which wakki prick are you?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:15, archived)

it's frank

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:29, archived)

Thought so.
I'm so pleased he's back.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:54, archived)

do you reckon brb is Beal Rob Bortimer?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:53, archived)

yeah, I reckon that

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:32, archived)

bored of that now
I thought up a new username, this is WELL better, I'd like to see you do any better tbh, ever been in a traffic accident? No? Well fuck off and stand on the motorway then, wankers.
(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:39, archived)

yes

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:41, archived)

yeah well, that'll happen if you get wankered and try to run muslims over you vicious racist cunt

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:42, archived)

Not my fault if I can't see them at night is it

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:44, archived)

I suppose so
and it saves them having to build their own suicide vest
(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:48, archived)

Ugh
Hello Frank
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:42, archived)

CUCKOO

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:43, archived)

i.imgur.com/cYR8pBp.jpg
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:45, archived)

that broadsword, he's a right one isn't he

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:49, archived)

THANKS FOR RUINING THE MAGIC

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:50, archived)

+ TERRY'S BLACK
+ BY LICKING THEM ALL
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:53, archived)

I thought everyone knew

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:55, archived)

"We 'ope it's chips" would have been better

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:44, archived)

FRIED ONION RINGS

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:44, archived)

That was your boyfriend that said that line

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:46, archived)

couldn't you just be nice for once?

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:49, archived)

I thought you'd be over him leaving you by now, move on

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:50, archived)

no one's bought me an icon yet, someone should buy me an icon now

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:02, archived)

GRILLEMBAKEEMFRYEMEATEM

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:46, archived)

if you're pressed for time you can microwave them, still taste ok

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:49, archived)

my m8 makes bacon and cheese sandwiches with them as the 'bread'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:50, archived)

I'd eat that

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:52, archived)

I had one once, it was alright but the holes are impractical what with all the molten cheese and ketchup

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:53, archived)

Should have rotated the top one 45 degrees
and put it underneath the bottom one, obvs
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:54, archived)

I ignored your first attempt because it didn't work, I've lost faith in you no matter how many extra lines you put in to make your ridiculous notion in any way practicable

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:56, archived)

nigga now you learnin

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 15:07, archived)

your m8 is a greasy f@ mess

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:52, archived)

that's not very nice is it? you need to modify your attitude

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:54, archived)

your m8 needs to modify his eating habits

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:55, archived)

Ignore the h8rs m8

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:56, archived)

this guy, honestly, i mean come on

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:57, archived)

PROOF OF WAFFLY VERSATILITY

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:53, archived)

I was already convinced by the advert,, but I guess some people prefer further testing and analysis

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:55, archived)

Do you know any good turtle jokes?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:52, archived)

New thread
How's work? Everything going ok? If not, what do you wish you were doing?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:42, archived)

Oh I see, like that is it, FINE

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:44, archived)

Do you mind? This thread is clearly for people who work!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:48, archived)

sorry mongy
What would you like to do in a perfect world?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:58, archived)

Those IT people seem have fun, perhaps that

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:06, archived)

Quick get mongy, the apache Indian servers gone down and the wang chung operator needs to deal with sisqo or saink

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:37, archived)

quick, my dongle's crashed!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:38, archived)

7 people killed when usb stick not removed safely, IT to investigate

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:40, archived)

They do, don't they
Wandering around, badly dressed with an air of undeserved superiority. Sounds alright to me.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:37, archived)

why is QA such a pain in the arse to get to, eh?
they could have built it nearer the train station
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:53, archived)

it's TURTLEY fine thank you

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:47, archived)

haha, turtles, I get it

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:59, archived)

^HE GETS IT

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:36, archived)

On thursdays I work for two companies simultaneously
It works out pretty well, and I still have time to make a few turtle jokes.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:52, archived)

companies tricks
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:55, archived)

Yeah, I flopped the divorced estate agent's cock out of my mouth and said
"Do you know what a tortoise does on his birthday? He shellibrates!"
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:01, archived)

FUCK
Fire alarm....brb
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:59, archived)

don't forget to rescue your bins from the fire

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:20, archived)

All clear
They let us out just long enough to get a lung full of the sweage plant stench, then let us back in
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:27, archived)

Hello mate! It's going pretty well, just clearing things up as I'm on holiday tomorrow.
Had a nice lunch too, pretty good day in and of itself whatever that means.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:55, archived)

Haha, here he is!
In and of its FUCKING self!

What do you do, work wise?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:59, archived)

As little as possible!!! Hahaha, no, I sell boilers.
For now....
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:02, archived)

boilers boilers, or mothers-in-law?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:11, archived)

I'm sorry, I've answered enough questions about my private life.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:13, archived)

MR MEATSNAKE WHAT ABOUT RUMOURS THAT YOU SEXUALLY ASSAULTED AN OX

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:32, archived)

All your questions have been addressed in my statement. I have nothing further to add.
Now, watch this drive!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:35, archived)

lol

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:39, archived)

Kettle salesman, innit

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:17, archived)

you sell watches? i think mongy is looking for a new one

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:40, archived)

You'll upset people with watch chat, today's already turned dark

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:44, archived)

What did the turtle say after taking Imodium?
"Oh man, where's the bathroom, I've got a serious case of human's head".
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:58, archived)

Interview, next Friday.
Got to prepare a presentation.
How are you, 2Hats?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:04, archived)

Fantastic good luck!
I'm well, thank you. My job is unsatisfying but well paid. I also get to work from home most of the time, which is quite good. Thank you for asking.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:17, archived)

I miss working from home.
You should count your blessings, 2Hats.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:23, archived)

Oh, I do
The positives far outweigh the negatives. It's just not interesting work.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:37, archived)

I'm not working.
Learning a little more about audio engineering
( MONO!, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:05, archived)

What microphone should I get if I want to record my boring flat bass-heavy voice in high quality?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:10, archived)

www.woodbrass.com/en/for-instruments-harmonica-microsound-900-harmonica.html
( MONO!, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:15, archived)

this is neither the time nor place for jokes

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:30, archived)

unless they involve turtles

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 14:36, archived)

Why didn't the tortoise fight in the war?
He was shell-shocked.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:59, archived)

if he didn't fight in the war how did he get shell shock?

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:02, archived)

He was witness to a devastating terrorist attack at a nightclub in Tierrapin del Fuego

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:03, archived)

somebody trod on him

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:03, archived)

i don't think so
uploads.neatorama.com/images/posts/140/63/63140/1372969556-0.jpg
( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:04, archived)

You don't bring a tortoise to a knife fight

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:22, archived)

what's a tortoise's favourite hobby?
terrapin bowling!!!
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:04, archived)

Why did the tortoise cross the road?
To get to the tortoise destination, of course!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:18, archived)

What's the difference between a tortoise and a turtle?
Turtles have flipper like limbs used for swimming, whereas tortoises have legs and feet for walking!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:19, archived)

What do you call the hard covering on a tortoise's back?
Its shell
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:19, archived)

shell defence mechanism against meanies
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:21, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7209321
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:21, archived)

Aw
Who was that about?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:24, archived)

Mortal wombat

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:27, archived)

Ah
Wonder what he's up to these days.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:28, archived)

the third knuckle in a 12-year-old, probably

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:30, archived)

Thankfully there aren't many 12 year olds in prison

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:50, archived)

I like that.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:29, archived)

Who was the famous 18th century terrapin highwayman?
Dick Turtle!
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:43, archived)

What are those really big tortoises called?
Giant tortoises!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:44, archived)

poor lonely george

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:45, archived)

:(

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:46, archived)

Why is manolith like a terrapin's penis?
Because he's a turtle prick!
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:44, archived)

i wish you could see all the numbers of clicks beside each post like i can
it's really heart warming to see all the jokes except yours getting clicked
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:53, archived)

Yes, because I'm clicking them you spastic

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:55, archived)

yeah, that would explain all the ones that have 2 or more votes, you bellend

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:59, archived)

Not sure why you think this will upset me, considering my original aim was to fill the popular page with turtle jokes I would say it's worked brilliantly, you gaywad

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:08, archived)

did i mention upsetting you? i said it was heartwarming to me, you shitpipe

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:11, archived)

as it is so often the way, tortoise chat turns to tears

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:54, archived)

some people just need
thicker skin
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:55, archived)

this is why i've cracked down hard on skink chat
it always gets out of hand
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:56, archived)

But surely a skink
slips through the net occasionally.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:59, archived)

i'm watching you!

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:06, archived)

:(
i.imgur.com/145g2.jpg
( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:00, archived)

i know, man
...i know
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:06, archived)

www.totallytortoise.com/tortoise-jokes.html
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:47, archived)

lol
i.imgur.com/ZbctB0K.jpg
( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:47, archived)

JESUS

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:51, archived)

Some of these are actually AS stupid as the ones I posted
lovely stuff, a must-read
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:48, archived)

For example
A tortoise crawls into a bar and says to the barman, "Have you seen my Dad?"

"I don't know," says the barman. "What does he look like?"
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:51, archived)

you must have seen this, yeah?
badkidsjokes.tumblr.com/
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:55, archived)

What happens if a bee flies in through the window?
SMASH IT INTO SPACE!!!

My nephew - 2014
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:25, archived)

he'll go far
by which i mean your nephew, but also the bee
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:26, archived)

sounds a bit sexually aggressive to me, i'd watch out for any pet killings in the local area

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:27, archived)

well he is 19 now, and in prison for rape!!! hahaha yeah

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:31, archived)

The signs were all there, yet the mods did nothing

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:36, archived)

i can't ban people from real life, m

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:36, archived)

lazy

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:37, archived)

Can't?
or WON'T
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:43, archived)

either

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:54, archived)

I can

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:47, archived)

not with that attitude

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:55, archived)

What do you do when you see an ugly squirrel?
nothing
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:33, archived)

whant key cant onlock something
badkeys
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:48, archived)

I'm reading most of these in the voice of an Indian waiter at a curry restaurant

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:50, archived)

this one works especially well
once a boy took an egg and his mother asked what are you doing with that egg he did not answer she thought he will eat it but he cracked it on the floor he took the shell and fill it with water
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:50, archived)

the lady went down to the BOTOM of a mountain

lol
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:54, archived)

NOCK NOCK ;
HOSE THERE
IT IS ME
IT IS WHO NOW
IT ME
WHAT
WHAT AM I HERE FOR
EMM I FORGOT
WELL GO AWAY BECAUSE IAM GOING TO THE SHOP
CAN I COME
NO
I WILL BE NOT ANOYING
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:55, archived)

brilliant
just brilliant
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:00, archived)

actual office lol at this one
what is funny and has eight legs

a clown
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:02, archived)

OH FUCK :(

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:14, archived)

you get to a point where they're so ludicrous you're nearly pissing yourself with laughter
WHAT DO YOU A UNICORN THAT GOES TO WORK

A WIMP
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:47, archived)

BE QUIET MARY!!!!!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:53, archived)

How did the tortoise beat the hare?
Through a healthy mix of hard work and dedication.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:51, archived)

Why did the hare lose to the tortoise?
Because it was a beauty contest and the hare was deformed!

(he had a hare lip)
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 12:55, archived)

What sort of pin is useless for sewing?
You'd expect it to be a terrapin, but in fact all pins are bad for sewing; you should use needles.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:01, archived)

knock knock
whos there
christmas tree
christmas tree who
YOUR BEST FRIEND
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:05, archived)

Why did we call our teacher geochelone elephantopus?
Because he tortoise!
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:09, archived)

What do jewish tortoises say to each other?
shellom!
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 13:19, archived)

morning?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 7:18, archived)

stop the press, who's that?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 7:22, archived)

fuck you

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 7:33, archived)

you fuck
mister horrible
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:01, archived)

i don't like this text adventure :(

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:43, archived)

morning!

( MONO!, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 8:00, archived)

BUMHOLES

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 8:07, archived)

yup

( MONO!, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 8:38, archived)

#morning

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 8:16, archived)

lawning

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 8:22, archived)

yawning

( MONO!, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 8:38, archived)

#tbt

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:02, archived)

trampled by turtles?

( MONO!, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:20, archived)

not recently

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:53, archived)

98% ish
You?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:59, archived)

roughly 70%

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:28, archived)

Why did the terrapin have to buy a new car?
Because he turtled his old one!
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:05, archived)

a truck full of terrapins hit a lorrry full of tortoises
it was a turtle disaster!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:07, archived)

Why did the terrapin get off when he was stopped on suspicion of drink-driving?
Because he was teeturtle!
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:24, archived)

What petrol brand dose a terrapin put in his car?
Turtle!
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:25, archived)

What does a terrapin use to clean his car?
Turtle wax!
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:26, archived)

what speed does a terrapin travel?
slowly
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:27, archived)

prick

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:28, archived)

wanker

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:29, archived)

i don't think so, they are very good swimmers

( mongychops, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:47, archived)

they don't have much money, so they use public transport
which isn't the most efficient way to get around.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:48, archived)

Why did manolith ruin my terrapin car joke thread?
Because he's a turtle arsehole!
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:45, archived)

how does a turtle go to the toilet?
he pulls down his pants and goes *pshhhh*!
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:55, archived)

Pretty sure it's Shell, you stupid prick.

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:59, archived)

alright bill door

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:02, archived)

ALRIGHT

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:03, archived)

man, I remember that blast from the past.
Why do I remember Bill Door?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:09, archived)

turns out i was thinking of the wrong person
who's the one who keeps taking one word from a post and posting it back but with a question mark?
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:18, archived)

person?

( MONO!, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:21, archived)

yes, like that but it wasn't you
it's never you
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:30, archived)

you?

( MONO!, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:33, archived)

Your psychiatrist?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:25, archived)

ONE WORD, THICKY

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:30, archived)

Thicky?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:35, archived)

mark?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:00, archived)

oh hai mark

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:27, archived)

BON
JOUR
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:09, archived)

UR VI
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:10, archived)

TAKE MY HAND, WE'LL MAKE IT I SWEAR-ERR
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:10, archived)

sympathy post

( MONO!, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:33, archived)

morning.
it was sunny when i got up so i put my clothes in the washing machine. 20 minutes later and it's fucking RAINING again
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:31, archived)

It can't rain all the time

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:39, archived)

*shoots Brandon Lee*

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:39, archived)

If I get too far ahead with the laundry, I'm unable to put it all away.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:39, archived)

yeah me too,
i keep buying furniture but somehow it's never enough
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:40, archived)

i bought a big chest of drawers,
and somehow the contents of one of the drawers of my small chest of drawers managed not quite to fit in a drawer in the big one, while the contents of the other small drawer now barely fit into both the small drawers.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:50, archived)

show us yer drawers

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:59, archived)

buy a really massive cupboard
and put all the chests of drawers in that
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:06, archived)

Don't forget to carry a spinning top at all times.
It'll only fall down when outside the cupboard.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:09, archived)

i was actually thinking of putting a chest of drawers in my closet

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:03, archived)

So you should take your clothes out of the washing machine and hang them out. The rain will wash them and then they will dry when the sun comes out.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:02, archived)

Rain is nature's fabric softener.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:08, archived)

Morning MM
I am late for work this morning, what should I use as my excuse for being late?
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:33, archived)

pissing about on the internet

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:36, archived)

He knows that's what I do all day at work
Not sure it's a reason for being late to work so that I can piss about on the Internet
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:46, archived)

say you were working from home, then

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:48, archived)

The concept of this would blow his mind

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:50, archived)

I took loads of Compassionate Leave when the kids were small,
so I'd play up the "sick baby" angle.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:38, archived)

Yeah I have kind of hammered that already for about 8 weeks...
Still at least it would be consistent.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:45, archived)

You prefer your eggs hard-boiled.

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:38, archived)

I like this

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:44, archived)

How about
"I take some medication that makes me a little odd from time to time, it's a prescription med that lots of people take everyday with no side effects, but I do, and then mix that with alcohol...I can become a bit of a cunt".....sorry I'm late.

?
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:50, archived)

I have used this excuse far far too many times.
It doesn't tend to work too well. Especially on cunts.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:54, archived)

oh it's a Cunt Vs Cunt situation is it

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:55, archived)

Is there any other situation?

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:56, archived)

spoken like a true cunt!

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:59, archived)

Do they both have really big noses
and one dresses all in black?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:00, archived)

*nod*

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:00, archived)

bit anti-semitic m8

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:05, archived)

not all spies are Jewish!

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:53, archived)

lol lesbians

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:04, archived)

I believed you m8yt33

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:03, archived)

perfect!

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:54, archived)

Alright maniac

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:57, archived)

If there's one thing I have a lot of gr8 excuses for, it's being l8

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:05, archived)

I h8 being l8, m8

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:08, archived)

I have b33n l8 every day this w33k :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:11, archived)

It makes me ir8, but I have a lot on my pl8

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:12, archived)

don't get too stressed, or you'll end up like mark sp8

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 10:37, archived)

eveninh

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 22:16, archived)

hey ssg - What do Green Eggs and Ham and Fifty Shades of Grey have in common?
They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 22:36, archived)

do they?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 22:37, archived)

day do doh don't day doh

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 22:48, archived)

what?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 22:53, archived)

dat

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 23:15, archived)

xkcd.com/1554/
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 23:23, archived)

is xkdc meant to be funny

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 23:28, archived)

no you are
www.b3ta.com/talk/7820902
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 23:34, archived)

isn't it funny and clever

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 23:42, archived)

i dunno they should put some jokes in it

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 23:49, archived)

yeah I like jokes

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 0:37, archived)

sometimes it's funny,
sometimes it's clever,
occasionally it's funny and clever,
and sometimes i just don't get it.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 9:18, archived)

bump

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:39, archived)

I fucking hate depressos. Had to deal with them with as an old GF always trying to kill themselves and have got no time for them. Harsh I know but there you go
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:40, archived)

depressed people need a slap and a shake and someone telling them to pull themselves together

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:43, archived)

what flavour shake?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 21:07, archived)

ebola dog wee

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 21:14, archived)

isnt winnet a dog food

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 21:45, archived)

Yeah.
The kind of dog food that sucks off transvestites at Hebden Bridge railway station apparently.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 0:25, archived)

no, it's your gut, you fat middle-aged tosser

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:51, archived)

no way to talk to one of the most popular forum contributors is it

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:53, archived)

that's why I say this sort of thing to you
I'd worry that it cuts too close to the bone, but you've got six inches of fat all the way round. You look like the Michelin man wearing a faded Dio t-shirt.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:56, archived)

hey, I saw a car today

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:59, archived)

I didn't find it particularly interesting myself

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 21:01, archived)

but maybe you'd like to drone on about cars for three hours now

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 21:01, archived)

^ gary newman

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 21:07, archived)

r
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 21:07, archived)

punk's not dead

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 21:11, archived)

I keep my juicest 4-wheel goss for /qotw
but I don't need to tell you that.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 21:07, archived)

Yeah, out of your bedroom window, you shut-in

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 21:01, archived)

Not the best Mr Man

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 21:03, archived)

jew bastard

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 21:08, archived)

The bandages give that away

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 21:43, archived)

my name's not really Shafiq
it's my birthday today, I ate two bags of cheesy Doritos and did a great big plop that backed up the khazi, when did you last etc etc wankers pricks and so forth
(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:55, archived)

bit quiet in here isn't it
don't worry, I'll get the party going again
(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:57, archived)

this place would be dead on its arse without you shaf

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:02, archived)

I need to think of a better username
see, I was hoping to attract a torrent of racist abuse but I didn't get into character properly

does baldmonkey still post here? he was the best
(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:04, archived)

yes I'm baldmonkey

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:04, archived)

prick

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:04, archived)

wanker

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:07, archived)

it just makes me sing "ahhhh, freak out! le freak, shafiq"
which doesn't help your idiot urban yoof image
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:07, archived)

seriously though, how much money do you reckon Bob Manual would want to sell the b3ta brand name to me?
this is actually a serious inquiry, actually seriosuly
(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:12, archived)

sounds like you could do with some bran,
that's for sure
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:13, archived)

too slow fucko

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:17, archived)

still tru tho

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:18, archived)

it was, but you were too slow

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:21, archived)

He'd want tens of thousands
because his name is so indelibly linked with the place that his image would never recover from the shitstorm you'd unleash. It would be like John MacAfee all over again.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:15, archived)

it's not like I'd fill the site with poorly photshopped pictues of him bumming farmyard animals

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:18, archived)

You'd flood the rest of the internet with them
all linking back to here. Christ, you'd probably even post them on voat.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:21, archived)

Basiaclly, I don't think there's any bottom limit to how low you'd go.

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:21, archived)

well clearly my reputation precedes me

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:25, archived)

^ fancies sammi

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:27, archived)

^begs Bob Todd for used jamrags

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:27, archived)

TOO FAR

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:24, archived)

show us your funky dance moves, granddad

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:03, archived)

party's on friday. come and drag your pendulous leathery knockers across the dance floor

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:04, archived)

I missed you so much
Not really though.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:58, archived)

seriously, took two buckets of water to clear the u-bend this morning

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:02, archived)

I hope you've got a birthday jalfrazi, you cunt

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:08, archived)

had one last night didn't I
I'm done with paki food for the week though, might go to the chippy
(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:11, archived)

I had one Saturday, never again, I was pissing lava from my arse

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:21, archived)

oh right, but it's ok for you to say I should eat one is it, you vile messageboard troll

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:25, archived)

I don't care what you eat you fat wanker

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:26, archived)

why don't you get back on the banana boat to Bongobongo land

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:28, archived)

alright wormulus

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:23, archived)

well, this is demonstrably incorrect

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:24, archived)

he was the best person here, he told us, still a poof tho

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:25, archived)

do you remember when he made a pretend girl account and did emo drawings of "herself" and they all looked a bit like Boxxy and we were meant to think "she" was Boxxy?
that was really sad, I felt a bit sorry for him then
(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:27, archived)

Sebastian Winnet is a scarf wearing cockhound

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:28, archived)

I did hear he has sex with men, that's what I heard about Sebastian Winnet

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 20:29, archived)

I did hear that former forum user and scarf wearing cock-hound Sebastian Winnet once went to Hebden Bridge

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 0:28, archived)

I also heard that when he was at Hebden Bridge train station, he sucked the erect penis of former forum user Samuel Woodman aka Woodside59

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 0:29, archived)

I also heard that former forum user Samuel Woodman aka Woodside59 was dressed in women's clothing at the time.

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 0:30, archived)

In other news,
alright Frank
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 0:30, archived)

poor Shafiq :(
bullied by Spanishfly on his first day
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:34, archived)

fuckyou bitchs I only asked a question and you give me atitude

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:40, archived)

haha, top trolling
the bad spelling was a real nice touch
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:41, archived)

It's a regular because they gazzed me

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:43, archived)

Of course it is
The idea of anyone actually new signing up to this moth-eaten corpse of a website is utterly preposterous
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:49, archived)

You filthy thread deleting prick

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:41, archived)

alright

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:41, archived)

alright mongy

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:42, archived)

I cant stop
I just wanted to pop by to say you're a fucking cunt x x x
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:46, archived)

not very friendly, it's my birthday today

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:47, archived)

I have him on ignore because I'm to precious to deal with his cutting edge internet persona, not that I think he should just piss off from the site

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:41, archived)

wanker

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:43, archived)

Alright fucksocks

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:45, archived)

oh hahaha

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:46, archived)

happy birthdays

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:51, archived)

so what did I miss?

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:52, archived)

Fuck all, we just plod along trying in vain to keep it alive

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:56, archived)

I wish I had a used jamrag in my pocket to keep everyone entertained

(Birds Eye potato waffles are waffly versatile CUCKOO, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:58, archived)

fucksocks is getting a bit big for his fuckboots lately

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 21:46, archived)

fuck you thread

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 16:38, archived)

shove barbed wire up your dick and floss your urethra with it

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 16:40, archived)

fuck you

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 16:45, archived)

alright

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 16:43, archived)

alright ssg

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 16:45, archived)

tekkers

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 17:01, archived)

Fuck you

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 17:21, archived)

more of this sort of thing

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 17:08, archived)

fuck you

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 17:11, archived)

HELL YEAH!
someone ought to
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 18:46, archived)

Hello the LOVELY mr horrible!

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 17:32, archived)

Don't think I'll be taken in by that
Fuck you
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 17:35, archived)

Cunt fucker shit lick dick noise wank tits
Arse
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 17:40, archived)

fuck you and your lawn

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 18:24, archived)

bit harsh

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 17:58, archived)

alright mongy

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 18:24, archived)

Yah

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 18:45, archived)

alright
EDIT: Fuck you
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 18:31, archived)

Huff on my sweaty cleft

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:56, archived)

I'm going to build some shelves
What's on your shelf?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 11:45, archived)

I'm too poor to own a shelf

( MONO!, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 11:46, archived)

Lego Ghostbusters.
Books.
Assorted junk.
Dust.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 11:48, archived)

Give me the title of one the books on your shelf
and an example of assorted junk please.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 11:52, archived)

A Marks & Spencer superheroes annual from the early '80s.
A biscuit tin full of loom bands.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:03, archived)

books
speakers
a small globe
boxes from miscellaneous small computer parts
a can of air duster
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:09, archived)

Have you got an ISA-format Sound Blaster?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:21, archived)

i think we have one somewhere in the house,
maybe in the cupboard, it wasn't mine though, when i got my first PC they had sound on the motherboard already
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:24, archived)

I was still adding external modems to computers in 2004
useless bespoke Compaq nonsense too.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:45, archived)

got my first PC in 2002 i think,
didn't have internet until 2004 (i used the university PCs for that) and then it got a 56k modem card.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 18:59, archived)

You missed the glory of windows 95, it was excellent

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:07, archived)

ha, yeah,
i had XP, the University was using NT.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 19:10, archived)

books
and other uninteresting shite.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:12, archived)

there is a Thundercats Annual from 1989

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:15, archived)

what is it with this place and overly nostalgic 80s cartoon annuals

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:21, archived)

I have a set of all the 1960s Eagle Annuals.
*wins*
( MONO!, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:25, archived)

i've got a Return of the Jedi annual
might give it to my niece actually
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:26, archived)

I gave my mum my What-A-Mess 1991 annual
she was absolutely thrilled
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:28, archived)

i've got a LOAD of Tom and Jerry annuals back at my parents' house

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:31, archived)

all this is shit
A FULL SET OF ALL THE 1960s EAGLE ANNUALS
Surely someone here appreciates how amazing that is?
( MONO!, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:37, archived)

Has it got Dan Dare in it?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:42, archived)

What even are you?

( MONO!, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 14:12, archived)

A man without shelves.

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 16:01, archived)

records

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:17, archived)

Fiscal? Dental? Guinness?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:20, archived)

long-playing

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:29, archived)

Got any Bon Jovi?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:29, archived)

there's a guns and roses one in there somewhere, but that's as close as it gets

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:33, archived)

As long as it's Appetite for Destruction you should be ok
Might want to get Slippery When Wet though, just in case.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:35, archived)

it is, I am and I don't

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:36, archived)

it is, I am and I don't Woah-oh, we're half way there-ere
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:44, archived)

criminal

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:50, archived)

miscellaneous items

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:50, archived)

UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE SHELVING AREA

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:52, archived)

Bit impractical shelves in bivvys

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 13:00, archived)

What sort of junk's on your van's dashboard then?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 13:02, archived)

A spider in Spiderman colours

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 13:21, archived)

did you win it from a claw machine?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 13:25, archived)

My kids gave it to me

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 13:34, archived)

Do they know you have a thing for spiderman?
Or do you really like spiders?
Or was it just a useless petrol station gift because they forgot Father's Day again?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 13:40, archived)

I can't remember, I get given loads of shit, normally from their tours of Europe in the summer

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 13:46, archived)

of with

IT'S THE FINAAAAL COUNTDOOOOOOWN
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 13:49, archived)

you're all about the hair metal today, aren't you?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 13:52, archived)

I am every day
It's one of the few things I live for.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 13:53, archived)

That's the most fucking ridiculous thing I've ever heard of.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 15:07, archived)

i've provided a handy link to something very similar
data:image/jpeg;base64,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
( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 15:37, archived)

This might just be the handiest link I've ever seen.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 16:11, archived)

i hope it clears up any confusion

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 16:13, archived)

Oh wow, it's really something else on my phone screen.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 17:33, archived)

a picture of the foetus I dun made.
*prouds*
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 15:09, archived)

I can beat that.
foetus handprints.
( MONO!, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 15:19, archived)

disgusting

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 15:20, archived)

and pretty depressing.
but probably better than having a box of ashes at work I suppose.
( MONO!, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 15:22, archived)

Yeah, I've got loads of those
I keep them in my wallet to scare old women who snoop.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 16:01, archived)

MORNING

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 6:36, archived)

Fuck you

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 6:47, archived)

alright you fucking cunt bastard spastic horse slasher cunt twat fucking shitcunt fuckhead faggot

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 6:49, archived)

Alright

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 7:28, archived)

morning horbo

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 6:50, archived)

mr h

( MONO!, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 7:55, archived)

I can neither confirm nor deny the current time of day
I'm sorry, no more questions
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 8:12, archived)

MR TWO HATS IS IT TRUE YOU FUCKED A HORSE

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 8:33, archived)

I'm retiring from private life to spend time with my family, nothing more

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 8:40, archived)

MR TWO HATS WHAT ABOUT REPORTS THAT YOU WERE SEEN KNUCKLE-DEEP IN A PIG

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:17, archived)

How dare you
My wife is a saint
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 10:09, archived)

terrible news, twombly
there has been an unexpected delay with shipping my order :(
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 8:34, archived)

FUCK'S SAKE
This will not stand, Tangled.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 8:41, archived)

I'm livid
how can I possibly enjoy my holiday now?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 8:41, archived)

Tell them to forget it
The holiday, I mean
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 8:42, archived)

Oh come on those impoverished male prostitutes need his money

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 8:43, archived)

gay sex tourism is an important part of many economies

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 8:52, archived)

Which ones?
I'm asking for a friend
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:15, archived)

Quick roundup of today's gayness, starting with the roads:
The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M. They are all gay as of midnight tonight. The gay elements are Potassium. Zinc. Hydrogen. Copper. And Argon. A quick look at the World's walls: The Wailing Wall is gay. Hadrian's Wall is very gay. The Great Wall Of China, that's not gay. And the Old London Wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next, they're the same as last night: all Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985, they stay gay for another fortnight. And finally, the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean... so, see you there.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:17, archived)

Caspian's been gay for the last 5000 years.
the clue's in the name.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:21, archived)

hiya

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 8:33, archived)

last one before the holiday

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 8:34, archived)

Anywhere nice?
I am off to a fucking caravan park.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 8:43, archived)

Jesus.
yeah it's much nicer than that
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 8:50, archived)

Last year two weeks all inclusive in a 5* hotel in Rhodes
This year Welsh caravan park, kids hey.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:04, archived)

I used to work at one of those
I cannot comprehend why anyone pays to spend money in those ghettos.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:01, archived)

Ah we aren't paying for it

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:05, archived)

Everyone pays on a caravan holiday
one way or another
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:57, archived)

I had not really thought about it in this way
but now I see the error of my ways.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 10:16, archived)

We spent a weekend at a caravan park when the kids were small.
Never again.
That said, if you can get to Wowo campsite, they have caravans and yurts and stuff, and it is lovely (the lighting of fires is basically compulsory, and everyone loves a fire).
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 10:26, archived)

I am dreading it
that "wowo" looks suspiciously hipster to me.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 10:32, archived)

It's both hipster and hippy.
They do free soup in the evenings, made from their own produce, and we went on a foraging course last time we were there, picking nettles and dandelions and gutting a couple of pigeons (which had spoiled). Best of all, there's a brewery next door, along with the Bluebell Railway, which is delightfully quaint.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 10:38, archived)

it sounds truly terrible.
apart from the brewery bit.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 10:42, archived)

I find your hipster-style disdain to be highly appropriate.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 10:52, archived)

BURN!

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 11:06, archived)

don't rub it in
Thanks to Poland's stupid fixed date national holidays, I don't get a day off unti November, and even then it's a fucking Wednesday.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 8:47, archived)

I'd quite like a national holiday in November

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 8:50, archived)

There's normally two: 1st and 11th
but the first is a Sunday so it's bloody wasted.

Bloody wasted is a joke, because so many Poles get drunk and crash their cars and kill themselves on that day. Ha ha.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:00, archived)

hahaha I get it

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:03, archived)

haha it doesn't matter because it's polish people

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:09, archived)

bit harsh

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:16, archived)

haha I don't mean it really I'm sure they're all great

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:20, archived)

I'm absolutely certain they're not all great
but most of them are, please don't deport me
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:27, archived)

I can't be bothered, Mister Haitch.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:10, archived)

u ok hun? x

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:14, archived)

Probably time of the month, back away slowly

( mongychops, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:15, archived)

monster mard

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:17, archived)

It's a graveyard smard.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:22, archived)

it caught on in a flard

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:28, archived)

nah, don't fancy it today
see you tomorrow
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:58, archived)

no likes a quitter, manolith

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 10:14, archived)

a quitter,
( MONO!, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 10:18, archived)

alright maniac

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 11:19, archived)

anyone know any forums that arent full of trolls yet

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 23:43, archived)

I hear that the collarspace forums are nice and friendly

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 23:50, archived)

----> 4chan

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 22 Jul 2015, 0:52, archived)

your mumsnet

( Christian's Bolt and Ski, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 1:55, archived)

/qotw

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 6:48, archived)

eveninh

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 19:36, archived)

alright

( mongychops, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 20:14, archived)

hey

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 21:10, archived)

evenin SSG

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 20:34, archived)

i've just seen this
www.kickstarter.com/projects/lickmydip/cheese-posties
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 21:22, archived)

For what he is offering,for 250 seems cheap, unless it's shit

( mongychops, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 21:43, archived)

if you get all the toasties at once they gonna go off before you can eat em

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 22:06, archived)

I didn't really read it, soz

( mongychops, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 22:24, archived)

ok

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 22:39, archived)

more and more I think we deserve extinction

( vladimir, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 22:01, archived)

a tactical nuke on shoreditch should do it, the rest can live

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 22:05, archived)

But you could, like make it yourself?
this smacks of Pact coffee
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 22:16, archived)

www.crummy.com/software/eater/eater.cgi?url-EoM=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.b3ta.com%2Ftalk%2F7830172&eat-EoM=words
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 21:20, archived)

Evening mr h
what's that there thing you've got?
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 22:17, archived)

listen, guys
i know i fixed /talk and everything but we should probably still have the occasional thread

what's for tea?
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 17:21, archived)

Hey manolith did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change colour? He had a reptile disfunction disorder :(

( mongychops, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 17:29, archived)

What's a lizard's favourite Britrock band?
Skink Anansie
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 17:57, archived)