FINALLYa thread I can get behind
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 28 Aug 2015, 8:20,
archived)
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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 28 Aug 2015, 8:21,
archived)
MODERN DAY B3TA THREAdSo I saw some of you guys talking about how you don't really hang out with a lot of black people.
Well, have I got news for you!
I've decided to assign myself to your cases as your official Black B3Ta Friend! Now you can tell everyone you have a black friend, B3tazens! Horjay!
I didn't realize it was a Situation, but now that I am aware, I am here to help.
INFO:
1.) I'm a 25 year old Afro-American male who lives in Suffolk County, Long Island, New York. (if you aren't familiar with that term - and I can't imagine why you wouldn't be - , it's the official nomenclature for someone who lives in the USA and is black. Watch the Spike Lee movie "Malcolm X" for more information on this topic).
2.) There's no section 2.
3.) I can prove my claim by taking a picture of myself, or a 'selfie', as they call it, but you guys have to promise not to 'shop my face onto a picture of Princess Diana with those magenta colored dicks, or something.
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Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 20:22,
archived)
Okay, but if you get into an internet fight with somebody, you could be all like,"I don't have to take this shit from you! I know black people!"
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Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 20:40,
archived)
Why would somebody question me about my knowing of black people? (
mongychops, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 20:49,
archived)
Hey, pal, it's 2015.It's an issue these days. That's all I'm gonna say.
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Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 20:51,
archived)
Or you could could go round and sort them out for us with your guns.(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 22:03,
archived)
You want him to be more than just a black friend?(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 22:00,
archived)
Sorry, I don't really want to be associated with your typeI don't think humans and Americans should mix.
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 20:47,
archived)
Can't argue with that.Have you seen what we do to each other? Yech.
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Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 20:49,
archived)
Besides, I heard you guys were building a big wall to keep everyone who isn't English out.I think that's adorable. It's just like what I saw in Game of Thrones!
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Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 20:52,
archived)
I understand that it worked so well the Scots would actually like to chop Scotland off the top of Englandand let it drift northerly into the Arctic Circle.
I'll never understand Scottish people, with their drinking of hard alcohol before 12 o' clock.
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Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 20:57,
archived)
Like scotchlands a thing, being out doing banksy for years (
mongychops, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 21:02,
archived)
Dunno what you meanI live in Poland.
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 20:54,
archived)
We all 3 of us replied, I think /talk can consider itself trolled (
mongychops, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 20:56,
archived)
I've never seen it but isn't the program fictional? And an American shit product ? (
mongychops, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 20:55,
archived)
I was led to believe it was a documentary on Modern British Society.(
Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 20:56,
archived)
I'm afraid I'm not very good at Photoshopin b4 "neither is bored ayy lmao"
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Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 21:01,
archived)
Its no fun if we play each others parts, it spoils text based forums (
mongychops, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 21:06,
archived)
:Dwe can't use emojis here, but just imagine, for a second, that I have posted the emoji of the thumbs up.
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Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 21:09,
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brb pussy in bio, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 21:12,
archived)
I can't help but think Liam Maybank is to blame for all of this (
$$ ✅, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 21:42,
archived)
I read an article about how BBQ food is being stolen by white people from black people.It was stupid. Every food has been stolen by everyone since the human race learned how to make TV cooking shows.
(, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 21:51, archived)
A penis selfie will suffice ;-)Just gaz it directly to mongychops for verification
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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 21:52,
archived)
How come you've never mentioned your black husband before manolith?(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 22:16,
archived)
that's very good what you've done thereimplying i'm gay!
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manolith hooray for me, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 22:44,
archived)
Are you implying you're not?(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 22:58,
archived)
I thought Nobby Nobody was the official b3ta Blackman.(
mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 22:41,
archived)
Remember 8Ball?(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 23:37,
archived)
Hi friends!I'm a friend of Olly and he said this was a great place to meet like-minded single men who think so-called "feminism" has gone too far.
(, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 15:09, archived)
I don't like Olly.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 15:11,
archived)
Never judge a book by its cover.Never judge a man by his hair.
I don't know where the mods are, but you're exactly the sort I'd like to see b&.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 15:15,
archived)
Solar panel for a sex machine, mate.I make love under a sun lamp.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 15:20,
archived)
You do remember that real names was what got you on the Naughty List in the first place, right?(, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 15:14, archived)
Yeah. But the not-a-robot click box is always in the same place so ... you know ... whevs.(, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 15:15, archived)
I don't see why you have to pay child support if you impregnated someone while drunk.(, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 15:16, archived)
And what about that scientist that wore the shirt? Where are the blacklivesmatters protestors when things like that happen?(, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 15:19, archived)
In all seriousness, that was a horrible shirt.He deserved to get bullied for it.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 15:27,
archived)
A woman with shocking bad taste.He should have claimed he was wearing it ironically. That'd have seen him right.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 16:14,
archived)
hahahaalright?
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 15:31,
archived)
Not really. A woman dismantled my whiny notallmenz argument this morning and made me look weak and foolish.
(, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 15:54, archived)
typical womantalking bollocks as per
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 15:55,
archived)
there is a sort of female here, if you spot her just say 'fuck off mgt' and you'll be alright (
mongychops, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 15:48,
archived)
I'm scared of women. Olly promised me there wouldn't be any here to oppress me.(, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 15:53, archived)
haha, yeah, we're also racists(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 15:55,
archived)
Someone recently left our office because she's moving to Wales with her boyfriendso some of the wags in this office decorated her desk with lots of sheep. I didn't think this was funny for a number of reasons, one of which is that it's slightly culturally insensitive. Your thoughts?
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 15:57,
archived)
Is this an Ian Watkins thing?(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 16:24,
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wales has no more room for english immigrants(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 16:01,
archived)
Wales is famed for its sheep farming.I don't see why celebrating that fact should be considered "culturally insensitive".
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 16:16,
archived)
You think too highly of the people I work with(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 16:20,
archived)
I really like Welsh lamb.Your coworkers can go fuck themselves.
No offence.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 16:34,
archived)
I'm less uncomfortable about race because I don't actually know any black people.(, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 15:59, archived)
it's true, you can only be racist about the blacks(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 16:01,
archived)
haha, you card(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 16:07,
archived)
it's that fucking blue man group i hate, fucking blue cunts, piss off(
mongychops, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 16:07,
archived)
Fucking hell, Sam, how many of these have you got?(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 16:21,
archived)
All of them.Me and cr3 are running a wee thing where I upset the bloobloo qotw Mod and he goes running to cr3 to fix it so I can be permanently banned.
Gotta have a hobby.
(, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 16:25, archived)
Why does the qotw mod have any say over what goes on on /talk?Madness.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 16:38,
archived)
its a fat bird with a grudge, or one her simpering little chums (
mongychops, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 16:40,
archived)
Did they get you b& off QOTW, too?(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 16:42,
archived)
You're too modest.I'm pretty sure the sandboxing was coded especially for you.
(, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 16:52, archived)
I really can't keep up with all these exciting developments.Still surprised that D* S******** keeps getting kicked, though (unless he and cr3 are really using it as an effort to test the site's security).
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 17:06,
archived)
Nah. The bloobloo mod has got some serious bloobloos.Cr3 is as baffled as anybody. I did joke that he could have a steady trickle of work patching the security but I'm pretty sure he's got enough to do with a real job and that.
(, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 18:09, archived)
How bizarre.Is this person moderating the wrong website, by mistake?
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 18:48,
archived)
I used to like him, before he went off the deep end.The deep end of a 44,000ltr, saltwater pool, natch.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 18:51,
archived)
This site has been brought low by abloobloobloo.Terrible state of affairs.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 17:07,
archived)
I'd have thought having a full-time job, a spouse and two small children might be enough in itself.(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 17:16,
archived)
Yeah right. Like anybody on here has had sexual congress with a woman.(, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 17:23, archived)
I once lived with a Welsh bird who fucked a black bloke called Liambiggest cock she'd ever had, she would say, with a goofy smile on her face.
Have you ever shagged a Welsh bird?
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 18:14,
archived)
Yeah. But my penis is barely average and I'm not actually called Liam.(, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 18:20, archived)
There goes the neighborhood, some africans stayed in a travelodge in sidcup recently, the news shoppers reporting and comments were lovely internet (
mongychops, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 18:36,
archived)
Hi ho homos!I've been with my favourite Irish-Mexican all morning. He has easily the best accent ever. Heets hamayzing, so it eez.
(, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 13:06, archived)
I knew a scottish-mexican onceHis name was Cameron Diaz
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 13:10,
archived)
I'm sorry to disappoint you(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 13:12,
archived)
This is precisely the sort of thing that had brought b3ta into disrepute.(, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 13:15, archived)
How do you like your eggs in the morning?(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 14:10,
archived)
I did and I think he made the right choice(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 14:43,
archived)
also my computer has a virus now :((
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 14:43,
archived)
I only wanted to find out how many chicken egg-sized gelatin eggs it could handle(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 14:51,
archived)
I'm not even sure what my accent is any more(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 13:23,
archived)
there's a smattering of RP in there tooso that I can pretend to have airs and graces
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 13:59,
archived)
hah, cos posh people get STDs(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 15:01,
archived)
Freddie Mercury was in a band called Queen.Doesn't get much posher than that.
(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 15:02,
archived)
i read all of your posts in the voice of this guymcgarnagle.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/vlcsnap-00404.jpg
(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 13:42,
archived)
dunno who that is, but when I tried to click "reply" I hit "I like this" insteadso whatever joke you made still got some validation. Hth.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 13:55,
archived)
haha, it's funny imagining you talk(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 14:18,
archived)
Just watch a load of Ed Wynn videos; it's pretty much identical.(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 14:23,
archived)
Six posts in eleven years.Careful you don't wear yourself out now.
(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 13:35,
archived)
JUSTICE 4 [whoever you are](
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 13:46,
archived)
hah, that was wonderfully quickI bet manolith's in on it.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 14:26,
archived)
Well let's see now.Hey, do you reckon I can convince my mate Liam to get a b3ta account? Wouldn't that be japes and larks and banter, what!
(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 14:43,
archived)
I don't even have an accent.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 13:42,
archived)
mine changes depending on who I'm talking toI'm all street when talking to my constituents and then all RP when in cabinet meetings.
(, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 13:49, archived)
If this is anything other than you sitting round a table with Action Man, Optimus Prime and Barbie, and debating such hot issues as Moshi Monster migration,I'll be very surprised.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 14:09,
archived)
So he's stupid AND lazy?(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 14:04,
archived)
I'll say goodbye to loveNo one ever cared if I should live or die
Time and time again the chance for love has passed me by
And all I know of love is how to live without it
I just can't seem to find it :(
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 14:25,
archived)
I just did, and it was there all along!Thanks mongy
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 14:42,
archived)
I'm going to WH Smiths and Wilkinsons at lunch timeWhere are you going to at lunchtime? You can't say "what are you, plod?"
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:09,
archived)
Check out this retro behaviourI'm going to a Kodak store to pick up some PHOTOGRAPHS.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:12,
archived)
I need to do this actuallyYOU CAN'T HANG A MEMORY STICK ON THE WALL YOU KNOW
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:39,
archived)
I bought my Mum a digital picture frame,but she still pesters me for prints.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 12:26,
archived)
Finger? Tiger? Artist formerly known as?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 12:47,
archived)
one day her prints will come(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 13:04,
archived)
Between 2pm and 7pm otherwise he will be left in your safe place or with your designated neighbour.(, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 13:08, archived)
what are you, a nark?i'm not going anywhere at lunch as i have to be back in time for training this afternoon
i HAVE been playing with this though www.buildwithchrome.com/ (you need to be using chrome)
you can pick a spot on the map and build something, or look at things that have been built nearby. imma build something where my house is
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:14,
archived)
Bit like Sim City, then?(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:21,
archived)
more like building stuff with virtual lego tbh(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:35,
archived)
Bit like Minecraft, then?What happens once you've built in? Can other people knock it down?
Oh man, what if this is just the setup for an online version of Rampage? Probably not, though.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:38,
archived)
I shall play with this at home, thank you(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:39,
archived)
This is rather niftyI also shall play with
(
H.B.Mupps, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:45,
archived)
what ales do they have?Not really a lager or bitter drinker, and cider's too gassy for daytime.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:40,
archived)
dunno i don't really look at the ales, it's now a green king pub so probably what they sell, it will be my former local soon as they are ditching kroney for stella, and i don't like stella (
mongychops, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:48,
archived)
I know, m8Wanted to get the boys that batman comic book they've been advertising, so it should be the same price everywhere, in theory.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:41,
archived)
I need a jiffy bag, so expect I'll wind up in Smiths, too.Maybe I'll see you there?
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:18,
archived)
Ooh lovelyWe could get a costas together
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:41,
archived)
Smashing.All WH Smith doorways are a portal to a single store, right?
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:48,
archived)
probably just go to the canteen and have some of the slop they've put togethercould walk down to waitrose though, get a posh snack or something
(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:19,
archived)
Sainsburys do a lovely new york deli style pastrami sandwichAnd if you do the meal deal, you'd probably struggle to make the lot yourself for less money
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:42,
archived)
It's not bad that, is it?My usual fallback if I fail to bring lunch in with me.
Crap, this is turning into a lunch thread.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:53,
archived)
I'm not going anywhereI'll probably just sit at my desk and eat my sandwich and maybe have a little cry
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:24,
archived)
i'm sure somewhere out there is a boy who will love you for what you are xxx <3(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:33,
archived)
thx hun ur words make me stronger xx(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:47,
archived)
will the popular kids not let you sit with them, tweeb?(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:36,
archived)
I'd come over and chat to you, tanglednot for long obviously, time is money, but I'd have a little natter with you
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:43,
archived)
ok but I'm not stopping eating(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:49,
archived)
I wouldn't expect you to, m8(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 12:12,
archived)
Probably the canteen downstairsBrought my own lunch though
(
H.B.Mupps, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:44,
archived)
working from home todayso eat a packet of hobnobs and masturbate a few times.
(, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:52, archived)
How many times in a single day?(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 12:13,
archived)
I went to the post office and the bankthey didn't have any food though, so I dunno what's for lunch
(
Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 12:38,
archived)
It's MERRY two hats dayIn this country we say Merry two hats day
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 8:38,
archived)
I say two hats day is a fine thingTaken in moderation.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 8:43,
archived)
did somebody say...moderation?!
*walks through door, audience cheers*
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:19,
archived)
Oh, manolith,could you be any more moderate?
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:20,
archived)
"We were ON. A. LINE-BREAK!"(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 10:29,
archived)
How YOU modding?*laughs*
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:26,
archived)
I'm not happy about this.I'm Chandler to your Joey. Is manolith Ross or Rachel?
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:36,
archived)
manolith is the guest star for todays episode of /talk"/talk is filmed in front of a live studio audience"
(
H.B.Mupps, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:41,
archived)
*thumps mod to get it to work**goes into the toilets with a boy 10 years my junior*
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:54,
archived)
There's no way you get to be the Fonz.Potsie, maybe.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:57,
archived)
I'd rather be Potsie than Ralph(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 10:00,
archived)
if you're any sort of ralphit's this one
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 10:03,
archived)
media.giphy.com/media/uHJz27znoFiO4/giphy.gif
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 10:09,
archived)
Later Simpsons episodes have been very unkind to Ralph.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 10:12,
archived)
I like this very muchwww.uloc.de/screenshots/f/fabf18_27_ralph_chicago_tribune.jpg
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 10:14,
archived)
I like the one where he runs for congress,and then the writers run out of story.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 10:18,
archived)
31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lw67zdJ3Pn1r6j5rzo1_500.gif
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 10:23,
archived)
That's not how you play the flute.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 10:24,
archived)
That made me very happy.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:19,
archived)
She really does have lovely ears, doesn't she*sighs*
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:55,
archived)
Feeling a little horse?Suck a ZUBE. 'Member Zubes, eh?
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 8:37,
archived)
I don't know what a zube is either(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:00,
archived)
apparently this is what he was sucking onwww.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=zube
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:20,
archived)
"geeshmonkey"?(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:21,
archived)
I can't find the adwww.tias.com/stores/danicasantiques/pictures/10oct119a.jpg
It was a cartoon horse with a sore throat. Obviously.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:28,
archived)
"mal de gorge"I'd see a doctor, if there was something wrong with my gorge.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:33,
archived)
www.maggotdrowning.com/forum/uploaded/lobwormking/201112605527_sexist-ads18.jpg
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:39,
archived)
Better times...better times...
*slips into dementia dreams*
(
H.B.Mupps, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:48,
archived)
Based on the Terry Thomas endorsement, I'll stick with Mac sweets.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:44,
archived)
Hooray!So I didn't dream it
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:52,
archived)
If you remember those adverts,then you're older than I realised.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:59,
archived)
I remember the tv adsbut it might have been around the same time. I'm 38.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 10:01,
archived)
Oh. Those ads looked to be from the 1930s.Maybe the 80s were more primitive than I remember.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 10:10,
archived)
Hey hey, it's Dozer!(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 8:57,
archived)
people say he dozes around(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:00,
archived)
I hope you did an exaggerated double-take whilst looking at your computer.You need to earn that laugh track.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:25,
archived)
yeah apparently this thread is set in a 90s sitcom...again! *mugs to camera*
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:36,
archived)
If there's any Seinfeld slap-bass shenanigans, I'm outta here.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:47,
archived)
Wait, if you're HERE, then that means....Uh oh!
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:53,
archived)
there is NO WAY i am doing that*smash cut to me doing that*
(
manolith hooray for me, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 10:01,
archived)
Man, this is writing itselfIs comedy writing REALLY this easy?
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 10:01,
archived)
Oh, and never forgetThe easiest way of expressing passage of time is to have your lead characters wearing a wig that is slightly longer than their real hair.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 10:02,
archived)
I'll do itI could do with the pin money
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 10:07,
archived)
Everyone involved in that looks like they're really enjoying themselves.Shame the same can't be said for the audience at home.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 10:15,
archived)
Each to his own and all thatbut it all seems so old fashioned. Like it was written and recorded at the same time as Allo Allo.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 10:32,
archived)
BBC One is not the benchmark of comedy that it once wassad toimes
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 10:54,
archived)
man, that'd be somethingI'd be like the new Matt Lucas
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 10:58,
archived)
between him and Evan Davis, they one set of perfectly good eyes(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 11:03,
archived)
God bless Captain Picard.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:58,
archived)
yeah it fucking well is an' all(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 10:03,
archived)
Has this ever been answered?How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood!
The answer has eluded me for years!
(, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 0:04, archived)
10 A woodchuck can't chuck no amount of wood, 20 Because a woodchuck can't chuck wood
30 NEXT n
(
H.B.Mupps, Thu 27 Aug 2015, 9:23,
archived)
alright mr hjust saw one of my oldest friends on telly
(
broadsword w⚓, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 22:31,
archived)
was it mongy?(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 23:34,
archived)
On call tomorrow. I fucking hate being on call.(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 23:33,
archived)
have you considered fucking a horse?(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 23:34,
archived)
So who is the best pony, then?(
Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 18:16,
archived)
MascarponeHahaha
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 18:17,
archived)
a fucked and slashed one(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 18:19,
archived)
I learnt today that a pony has to be under 14.5 hands, filth (
mongychops, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 19:20,
archived)
I don't give them names.But, if I did, they'd be names like Pony Hart, Pony Bennett and Pony Stark, because every day should be a pun thread.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 19:00,
archived)
It's not hair, it's a mane.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 21:16,
archived)
a load of old...(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 19:03,
archived)
Fucking hell, they are making creme brulee on bake off. This is a fucking travesty.(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 20:23,
archived)
What's wrong with crème brûlée?#TeamNadiya
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 21:20,
archived)
Anyway, never mind that.Whatever bollocks is on BBC One right now is making me want to stab people.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 21:26,
archived)
no reasoni.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/12/18/2422D36C00000578-2878840-Webb_s_locks_are_transformed_into_an_octopus_attacking_him_with_-a-20_1418912541805.jpg
(
vladimir, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 21:10,
archived)
i'm going to be home late, looks like this meeting is going to keep me in the office for a bitgo ahead and have dinner without me, i'll pick something up on the way home
(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:42,
archived)
you're such a sweethearti'm bringing a bottle of scotch home for you xxx
(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 16:04,
archived)
A real one this time or another 1/4 bottle filled with cold tea (
mongychops, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 16:38,
archived)
Oh good. Weepy McBloobloo has blundered into the only surviving part of the website with his banspoon.(, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:52, archived)
It can't survive you and grrry moaning all day, it's you or him (
mongychops, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:56,
archived)
poor unlimited accountsyou will never experience Annual Two Hats appreciation day
(
$$ ✅, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 16:05,
archived)
i must've missed doveston appreciation day(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 16:07,
archived)
Who's ears would you wank over?(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 16:08,
archived)
agreedbut the features MUST be facial. We need to draw the line somewhere, and I think it should be from the neck up.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 16:10,
archived)
I won't lie, I like a nice nape(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 16:14,
archived)
going faster than a rollercation day(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 16:09,
archived)
I appreciate this Buddy Holly jokeyou don't get so many of them nowadays
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 16:22,
archived)
It's not all that topical, I grant youbut I appreciate the praise, thank you
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 16:25,
archived)
everyone's into the shadows and all those beat groups now(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 16:26,
archived)
Cliff Richard's a bit too 'crash bang wallop' for my liking(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 16:27,
archived)
He's certainly not as "christian" as he would have you believe(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 17:48,
archived)
McDonalds/burger king crossover possible?time.com/4011090/burger-king-mcdonalds/
(, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 17:41, archived)
The Big King, thenwww.burgerking.co.uk/menu-item/big-king-sandwich
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 17:50,
archived)
Oh you couldn't have it every dayIt's too special
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 17:56,
archived)
I haven't seen any fat acceptance or health at every size people here. I would enjoy the fallout.
(, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 17:57, archived)
41.media.tumblr.com/7da5a8087fe39410260ec5918ad62229/tumblr_nto31irOW41qgy822o1_1280.jpg
(, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 18:14, archived)
Ah, food for spiteDelicious
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 17:57,
archived)
Don't worry, I'll cheer you up by telling you all about the lovely holiday to Rome I've booked for next week.(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 18:16,
archived)
New thread.No white goods chat in this one, please.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 14:48,
archived)
Bit racist, m8I bought an 8 string guitar. It's fucking mental.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 14:50,
archived)
woahwhat are the extra two strings?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 14:52,
archived)
Either they're bass strings, finally rendering bass players redundant,or he's bought a busted twelve string.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 14:53,
archived)
I thought Jack White had already rendered bass players redundant when he invented the white stripes?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 14:55,
archived)
I think Geezer Butler might have something to say about that.(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:13,
archived)
look at the frets on this!en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Eight_String_Acoustic_Guitar_by_Patrick_Hawley.jpg
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 14:56,
archived)
That looks wrong.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 14:59,
archived)
Fanned fretsThere's a whole load of science behind why they're a great idea. There is, however, a good couple of hundred years of straight fretted guitars that have done just fine, thank you very much,.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:03,
archived)
bloody hellwww.youtube.com/watch?v=FNcJ91bRamI
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 17:17,
archived)
I think microtonal music sounds horribleThere, I said it
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 17:21,
archived)
Isn't that the guitar featured in Holbein's 'The Ambassadors'?(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:04,
archived)
Like MM saidwww.andertons.co.uk/solid-body-electric-guitars/pid27812/cid671/jackson-js328q-dinky-8string-guitar-in-transparent-red.asp
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:01,
archived)
I always thought the whole "extra bass strings on a regular guitar" was just a running joke.Does it actually work? If so, will you be fitting a drum to your back and cymbals to your knees?
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:16,
archived)
It really doesThere are a few guitarists out there really making it work. Tosin Abasi (whether or not you like his music) really makes use of all the strings.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:38,
archived)
wow that guy's a bit intense(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:45,
archived)
do you need 7 fingers to play it?(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 14:54,
archived)
You don't *need* thembut it does make it easier
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:04,
archived)
how many do you have?(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:05,
archived)
Fingers?2 on the left, 9 on the right.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:09,
archived)
seems the wrong way round for playing the guitar,unless you play left handed
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:17,
archived)
I believe you and I have minority ethnic fridges.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 14:54,
archived)
solidarity brother(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:04,
archived)
I'm just saying there should be a utility room for the white goodsand another one for all the other colours
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:04,
archived)
I just feel sorry for people with washing machines and freezers in their kitchen.(, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:14, archived)
To be fair, you seem to look down on everyone.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:17,
archived)
I wouldn't have to if you made a bit of effort not to be so far beneath me.(, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:24, archived)
My washing machine and freezer are in the same roombut not the same one as where I prepare food. I mean, I'm not a savage.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:39,
archived)
I'm quite liking the Google Tango project.Although it is disappointingly lacking in fat orange men.
(, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 14:56, archived)
Could you have another rant about how McDonald's isn't a treat, I still chuckle over that one grrry (
mongychops, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:39,
archived)
I'm sure it's a treat for plebs who've never tasted decent food.Like a stick and a hoop is a great toy for poor Africans who've never seen a Nintendo.
(, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:45, archived)
Finally the mods are taking my gaz srs, ban hammer... (
mongychops, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:46,
archived)
I'm struggling to imagine any better use scenarios than augmented reality games.I do hope someone can do better than that.
Fit a couple of cameras to an Oculus Rift, and you could walk around your house without ever leaving your house!. Truly groundbreaking stuff.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:05,
archived)
I used to enjoy You And Me.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:01,
archived)
Never change, mongy.You were always too good for me.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 15:08,
archived)
yeahjust had a freezer delivered
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 13:23,
archived)
Is this a sex thing?(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 13:25,
archived)
I certainly hope sowhat kind of fetish site forum would this be otherwise?
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 13:30,
archived)
Omg I'm getting a new freezer delivered soon! We're like white goods twins omg!(, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 13:27, archived)
white goods supremacistscongrats on reaching 100 posts without being banned
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 13:29,
archived)
could be worseTwo Hats calls his kids vegetables, apparently
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 13:49,
archived)
I do, but this is a total coincidence(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 13:52,
archived)
my fridge is silver and grey, m8(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 13:30,
archived)
also capable of keeping vegetables fresh for a number of days(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 13:37,
archived)
This is the second freezer that lives in the larder.But I'm glad you're happy with your 90s style fridge.
(, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 13:42, archived)
It's a double door jobIf it was white, it'd look like a fucking caravan
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 13:55,
archived)
if you see Two Hats' mum rockin' don't come a'knockin'(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 14:05,
archived)
jelly.b3ta.com/talk/7838155
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 14:11,
archived)
Dunno. That vegetable marrow I popped up her the other night is smelling a bit ripe.(, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 14:37, archived)
Amica?Yes, I am quite fond of it
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 13:49,
archived)
just drew two mario style clouds on a wallWho else has done something extremely worthwhile today?
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 13:25,
archived)
I haven't had any white goods delivered recently, nor am I expecting any anytime soon(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 13:51,
archived)
I need to replace the water filter on my fridge.Probably doesn't justify buying a new fridge, though.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 14:47,
archived)
STOP THE PRESSwww.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-33994960
WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS?
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:00,
archived)
In many ways, you're rightWhat did we do to stop it?
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:05,
archived)
That's proper glasscock, 2Hats.You ought to be ashamed.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:02,
archived)
Is it??It only happened 6 days ago! Blimey, the world moves so quickly these days.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:05,
archived)
there's been at least three other sexual assaults on horses since then (
$$ ✅, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:06,
archived)
hold on, weve only got the horses word that they were assaulted, and the first horse apparently had a history of self harm (
mongychops, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:08,
archived)
it had also been drinking and flirting all night and was dressed provocatively(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:13,
archived)
going out with bare legsand in those shoes
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:20,
archived)
One horses rub down is another horses stabbed and sexually assaulted(
H.B.Mupps, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 12:41,
archived)
You were dead, I think, so I guess I can't really hold it against you.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:06,
archived)
That's no excuse, MM(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:11,
archived)
I am glad that you've recovered,but buck your ideas up, yeah?
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:15,
archived)
Hitting the ground running, Sir(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:17,
archived)
a 23 year old pony? at what age do they become a horse then..(
mongychops, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:03,
archived)
Sounds like it died a horse,if you know what I mean.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:04,
archived)
Don't let the long hair and beard fool you.I can't actually perform miracles.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:12,
archived)
I can turn water into wineprovided you don't mind wine tasting of piss
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:18,
archived)
I don't think you really understand how horses work.(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:32,
archived)
www.shemovedtotexas.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/bad-push-button.png
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:37,
archived)
Blimey, that'll be a quiet affairThanks tho hun x
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:06,
archived)
And thanks for the dirty picture tooJust waiting for the missus to go out, then I'm going to have at it.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:13,
archived)
Fucking hell Two Hatsthe original time we talked about this is still on the Popular page.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:14,
archived)
I'm not clicking anything 2can's postedprobably a virus. That he doesn't know the proper name of.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:21,
archived)
I bet he's prescribed Lemsip to treat a nasty case of bongobongoitis(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:24,
archived)
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/02/46/db/0246db42cf5bd6d72e9dcefd5562292b.jpg
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:52,
archived)
think they're congas not bongos soz(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:53,
archived)
why don't you piss off to congacongaland if you love it so much(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 12:05,
archived)
turned down for a visa :((
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 12:07,
archived)
Mastercard won't touch you either(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 12:09,
archived)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citro%C3%ABn_Visa?
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 12:12,
archived)
There's one for every occasion!(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 12:25,
archived)
I don't know what to do with this(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 12:15,
archived)
when the time is right you will know what to do(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 12:18,
archived)
i once went to see stand up comedian paul foot at the fat fox with baldmonkey and wifestand up comedian paul foot did a routine about molesting a horse while baldmonkey watched him through binoculars from about 8 feet away
(
manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:15,
archived)
Perhaps he was checking for facial ticks(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:19,
archived)
you mean you've actually seen baldmonkey and paul foot in the same room together?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:20,
archived)
you mean you've actually paid money to see Paul Foot?(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:24,
archived)
when i was growing up, they were known as 'big knockers'(
manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:31,
archived)
I had to Google to find out who that is.From what I've seen of him on the telly, he's not as funny as some people claim (although I get the feeling that pure standup is his preferred medium).
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:27,
archived)
he was alrightit was quite distracting sitting next to bm and his inexplicably attractive wife
(
manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:32,
archived)
baldmonkey is married?Now I know you're making this up.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:34,
archived)
baldmonkey has some children that he made himself(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:38,
archived)
+ out of bits from a dismantled washing machine(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:44,
archived)
If every I doubted the absence of God from this universe,I now have proof.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 12:28,
archived)
sounds like the Sunny episode where Dee dates a retarded person(
$$ ✅, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:29,
archived)
this has more relevance to my life than you realise(
manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 11:40,
archived)
there are a few blokes on here who really do cling on to an us-vs-them attitudedespite Rob demonstrating that it just doesn't work.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 12:26,
archived)
*cricket applause*(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 12:53,
archived)
Between being upset with /talk, and pinching links from Failblogthey don't really have a lot going on, bless them
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 12:53,
archived)
Horrible already confessedwww.b3ta.com/talk/7837026
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 12:23,
archived)
I had to complete a registration form for the webinar this afternoon and I had to list any dietary requirements.I'm now worried that a webinar isn't what I think it is. Is it what I think it is?
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 12:25,
archived)
it's a conference about spiders(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 12:30,
archived)
fuck that thenunless it's about how to obliterate them
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 12:35,
archived)
Another thread.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:14,
archived)
Made you look, made you stare!(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:22,
archived)
Made my dad shit the bed.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:26,
archived)
I LIKE THE POPE COZ THE POPE SMOKES DOPEThere
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:32,
archived)
That guy's got it all figured outLove it
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:39,
archived)
There are two bishops in bed. Which one wears the nightie?Mrs Bishop, of course!
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:27,
archived)
oh hahahabecause Mr. Bishop is stark bollock naked ready to roger the anus of Mrs. Bishop
(
$$ ✅, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:29,
archived)
yes that's exactly what I was getting at with that jokein an unrelated matter, I have some business to attend to. Excuse me.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:31,
archived)
ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-03/4/10/imagebuzz/webdr02/anigif_optimized-22947-1425484386-6.gif
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:35,
archived)
Blimey, imagine that bearing down on you(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:40,
archived)
nonamemovieblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/alien3-bishop.png
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:41,
archived)
Right Said Thread(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:27,
archived)
both of us togetherone each end, steady as we go
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:36,
archived)
you can't slip into stockings,Paul McCartney obviously never tried putting stockings on in his life, should have done more research, just made himself look silly now
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:35,
archived)
here comes the expert to tell us all how it's done(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:42,
archived)
image.glamourdaze.com/2013/01/1940s-stocking-makeup.jpg
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:45,
archived)
wow i wonder why you can't get that anymore(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:52,
archived)
Threaddie Mercury(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:41,
archived)
I Can't Believe It's Not Schmutter!(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:59,
archived)
I had to come to work early to talk to forrins.Dunno why they can't all work uk hours, the savages.
(, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 7:55, archived)
depends on how foreign they areyou don't want them coming over there, taking your time zones
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 8:02,
archived)
Stinking out the place with their spicy clocks and staying up all hours of the night and/or afternoon playing music with odd time signatures.(, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 8:08, archived)
The embassy yesterday had the local time an hour slowbut I'm quite proud of their attempts to shoehorn Warsaw into GMT, like an odd chronometric colony
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 8:14,
archived)
I quite like that the hubs for the chunnel are little foreign territoriesso the frogs have built a pleasant little aire de service in Folkestone and the English have built a cross between a provincial shopping centre and a prison camp in Calais.
(, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 8:20, archived)
hold on, woah, back the fuck up thereThe French. Have built. On Kentish soil? The French?
I made the right decision by emigrating.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 8:22,
archived)
No wonder it's no longer considered to be 'the garden of England'(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 8:29,
archived)
No, it's still the gardenbut rather than those lovely old Victorian gardens which were faux-ancient brickwork covered in towering hollyhocks and rambling honeysuckle, it's now an overgrown weed-infested cemetery of dead washing machines and used tyres dumped behind a council house terrace.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 8:35,
archived)
I believe that Rye is now considered to be the 'dirty mattress of the south east'(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 8:41,
archived)
I don't think I've ever been to Kent except on my way to the continent.It looks like commuter villages and pikeys.
(, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 8:47, archived)
Dunno if flooded gravel quarries full of farmed carp really qualify as "lakes".But I suppose you have to make do with what's available.
(, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 8:56, archived)
are you going to fuck off back to /ot soon i'm not sure this site can put up with you and grrry up beat attitude to life this early in the morning every fucking day, day in day out, relentless moaning about everything (
mongychops, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 9:02,
archived)
are you under manolith's protection on /talk?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 9:09,
archived)
good point, i should really be getting some dollar for this(
manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 9:32,
archived)
Well, if you only go there along popular transit routesof course it's going to resemble soulless deadend towns filled with drones endlessly plodding back and forth being nondescript offices and identikit residential units.
But there are at least three pubs and probably a shop and a restaurant that are worth visiting.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 8:56,
archived)
Easy now. There's at least one of those plodding drones on here.(, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 8:58, archived)
Are you really a photocopier salesman?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 8:59,
archived)
No. I'm afraid that's a fantasy of one of the commuter drones.I don't think I've seen a photocopier since the 1990s.
(, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 9:01, archived)
tbf I wouldn't mind replacing Shepherd Neame with a brandy distillery.(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 8:48,
archived)
I'll thank you to leave Shepherd Neame alone.Bloody lager drinkers.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 9:33,
archived)
I haven't touched lager in yearsI just don't think Shepherd Neame's that good.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 9:42,
archived)
Some of their beers are very good, others not so.Overall, I'd say they were worth keeping.
When I lived in Leeds, there was one of their pubs at the end of our road - rubbish food, but it was a proper pub and the beer was always well kept (the Late Red and Early Bird were always a treat, but they always seemed to put them on at the wrong time of the year). As a bonus, the barman could have passed for Daffyd Thomas.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 9:50,
archived)
I don't like Spitfire at allbut I'm quite partial to Bishop's Finger and 1698. Imagine that!
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 9:57,
archived)
I regret nothing(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:12,
archived)
yeah wicked mate, safe asyou good?
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 8:36,
archived)
where's goatworrier, eh?why isn't anybody else asking the real questions
(
manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 9:31,
archived)
He's probably living in Surrey with a wife and three kids.Kids ... geddit? Kids.
(, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 9:37, archived)
yeah, I'd like a goat(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 9:47,
archived)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0LYbP3uwNU
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:07,
archived)
i don't know why the monkey got top billing, the goat is clearly doing all the work(
manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:12,
archived)
it's all politics(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:12,
archived)
not even a horse slasher, someone's got a grump on.(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 8:37,
archived)
is that your day of abstinence in the world of horse slashing?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 8:45,
archived)
aw you're not going to try to climb my hair again, are you?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 9:08,
archived)
i hope you enjoyed the crumbs from my breakfast(
manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 10:00,
archived)
woah there Poindexter, save your uppity hoity-toity science waffle for physics class, yeah?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 9:18,
archived)
I do honestly believe that if you want to experience a morning, you have to get up off your arse and go out and get itand that the main reason most people don't get mornings is because they're simply too damn lazy to get out of bed for it.
Call me ideological, but the only reason immigrants are coming over here and getting their mornings an hour earlier than they ought to is because our own people have simply grown lazy, and think that getting up before noon is beneath them.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 9:24,
archived)
This is quite the morning thread.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 9:35,
archived)
^ high praise, indeed.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 9:44,
archived)
hopefully mgt will turn up soon and i'll shrug it off and go back to bed (
mongychops, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 9:42,
archived)
surprised it's lasted this longI expect another thread will turn up soon though
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 9:59,
archived)
U.S. stocks down at closing again(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 25 Aug 2015, 21:45,
archived)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVoPG9HtYF8
(
artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 25 Aug 2015, 21:47,
archived)
Taught me everything I know about anatomy.Well, that and this one: www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_D-kBCmUew
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2015, 0:28,
archived)
horses bumholes I'll bet(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 25 Aug 2015, 17:54,
archived)
I think quantum leap was a good show, what other good shows were there?(, Tue 25 Aug 2015, 17:56, archived)
Deep Space 9,got the first two series of that from the second hand shop the other day.
Points to note:
1. Dr Bashir is a complete twat
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 25 Aug 2015, 17:58,
archived)
Yeah and the whole boring Bajoran religion stories are shit.It gets good when they get the defiant.
(, Tue 25 Aug 2015, 18:13, archived)
haven't got to any of those yet,"Babel" was quite a good one, everyone started talking nonsense, it was played just a bit too straight though imho
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 25 Aug 2015, 18:16,
archived)
every episode kind of has the same plot though,which is basically turning your house upside down looking for something only for it to turn up quite obviously in the middle of the dining room table
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 25 Aug 2015, 18:18,
archived)
Playing Daley Thompsons Decathlon in the 80's really built up my wanking muscles(, Tue 25 Aug 2015, 18:20, archived)
from 2nd series onwards, anyway,1st series was kind of dull, "Newsnight in Space" my brother used to call it.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 25 Aug 2015, 18:23,
archived)
suck todgers in the 25th cuntury (
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 25 Aug 2015, 18:43,
archived)
I liked that episode of stargate sg1 where they opened a gate to some planet near a black hole(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Aug 2015, 20:35,
archived)
They are not even discussing bumholes itt, just telly, sad times (
mongychops, Tue 25 Aug 2015, 18:42,
archived)
Loyd GrossmanOr whoever it is who does through the bumhole now.
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 25 Aug 2015, 18:50,
archived)
^gay for andy peters hand.(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 25 Aug 2015, 21:20,
archived)
Cock!I win!
See Nathan Barley did predict the future! Cook, Muff, Bumhole!
(, Tue 25 Aug 2015, 23:09, archived)
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