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morning

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:10, archived)
hey babe u ok

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:11, archived)
yeah u?
didn't forget my lunch today, good job too because it's revolting curry day in the canteen
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:13, archived)
yeah yeah sound m8 sound

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:18, archived)
i brought a banana for a snack too

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:26, archived)
bit worried about all this immigration now
i.imgur.com/9eJzv8ih.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:22, archived)
Nice.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:26, archived)
To facebook

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:39, archived)
I'm getting a bit confused over which ones I'm supposed to hate now
I don't want the scrounging ones here to abuse our generous benefits system, but I think I'm ok with the useful ones coming here to work, as long as they're not stealing our jobs and I feel sorry for that poor little dead boy so I think we should help genuine refugees and keep all those so-called economic migrants out and I'm not being racist but I think if we let a load of muslims in then there's bound to be a few terrorists in there. The Australians probably have the right idea, although I've no real clue what their actual ideas are.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:45, archived)
Somebody should write an App.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:58, archived)
Gimme a minute

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 11:12, archived)
Here you go
www.kinetise.com/pbjq
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 11:14, archived)
Isn't the Australian plan to tow the boats out to sea and let god/nature take care of the problem?

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 11:00, archived)
well yes, but they have a points based system for this, so it's all fair and above board

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 11:02, archived)
I think they test their ability at cricket and rugby first.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 11:02, archived)
morning t-duvz
what's the haps?
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:11, archived)
just on a telcon arguing about moscow statuses
having a blast
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:15, archived)
you guys sure know how to party

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:03, archived)
i've got a meeting about how a payment card should look later
i'm a firm believer in black arial font on a white background
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:10, archived)
helvetica or gtfo

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:15, archived)
Magenta on cyan aliased comic sans.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:27, archived)
I think all credit or payment cards should have the Queen on them
and anyone who disagrees is a traitor and should be shot
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:30, archived)
instead of clicking 'I like this!' I stood up and saluted this post

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:40, archived)
I think it's disgusting that we don't already have a 'Salute Her Majesty' button on here
and yet the mods do nothing
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:44, archived)
Mine have Jesus on the front and a crude caricature of Mohammed on the back.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:41, archived)
Oh, so Mohammed isn't good enough for the front now?
What makes Jesus better than Mohammed, eh? Answer THAT with your science
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:45, archived)
Jesus is a nice anglo saxon boy and Mohammed is a bit brown.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:53, archived)
oh yeah, good point
I think that's why Robert Powell played him, you know
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:54, archived)

tinyurl.com/ozhdebg
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:43, archived)
christ
I wish he'd go back to doing her. I didn't mind Lily Savage but I don't like Paul O'Grady
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:46, archived)
I might write some fan fiction where he literally does her.
If I can keep my hands off my wang long enough to type.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:57, archived)
Oh man
Next Week: Alan Partridge fucks Pauline Calf
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:58, archived)
Rain man does Tootsie
I think I just ripped my cock off.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:59, archived)
Mork does Mrs Doubtfire
#rigid
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 11:06, archived)
If it's got raised lettering then it should be pale nimbus
otherwise eggshell with romalian type.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:59, archived)
Alright, Timothy.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 11:01, archived)
Marcus Alberstrand, you son of a bitch!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 11:02, archived)
how about Klingon type?

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 11:20, archived)
hi the doveston
getting down to langstone much these days?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:15, archived)
almost every week
not this week though, i'll be down there probably thursday and friday next week
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:20, archived)
and yet we've never met
ships in the night
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:18, archived)
hiya

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:17, archived)
hey hun

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:21, archived)
Hi doves

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:18, archived)
huddersfield aye?
fucking hell
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:23, archived)
i'm already calling for the manager to be sack

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:25, archived)
do you want russell slade?
he's cheap
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:29, archived)
I like you 'cos you're not MONO!

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:19, archived)
it's my most defining feature

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:24, archived)
not being mono is a lifestyle choice we can all aspire to

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:26, archived)
morning The Doveston

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:22, archived)
hey grrry
how's poland doing today, grey?
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:25, archived)
brilliant blue sky, not a cloud to be seen, 24 degrees
it's fucking horrible.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:29, archived)

i picture poland looking like this everywhere
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:35, archived)
nah, that's the manky side of the river
This is the view from Mushroom Square
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:44, archived)
it almost looks like a real city

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:45, archived)
thank Stalin for demolishing all the bits that look like the pic you posted

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:57, archived)
I like how they've cut off ground level to avoid any primitive slavic faces.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:46, archived)
Thank you, Grrry! But our princess is in another castle!

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:54, archived)
cooee

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:24, archived)
oh, hi

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:29, archived)
sup dawg

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:45, archived)
Hello, beautiful ladies.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:44, archived)
oh you

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:45, archived)
Let me buy you two a drink. Campari and soda?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:46, archived)
Never mind, Trigger. They're probably lesbians.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:06, archived)
how many legs have you got?

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:21, archived)
Just fractionally above average.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:27, archived)
check your leg privilege

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 10:58, archived)
Arrrrrrr!

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 11:06, archived)
hahaha me and my mates love international talk like a wakki prick day!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 11:08, archived)
hello

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 7:55, archived)
MONO!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:01, archived)
aklright

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:28, archived)
I don't mind you pushing the morning thread down
but you could try and come up with a question or something to get a conversation going. Just a thought.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:05, archived)
^upset^

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:18, archived)
why?

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:28, archived)
to foster an environment of community and participation
rather than looking like a beaker.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:46, archived)
that was my question

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:51, archived)
pretty shit tbh

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 9:30, archived)
fuck off back to qotw

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:32, archived)
Bit early for a lunch thread. I suppose we could ask what everyone's having for breakfast

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:34, archived)
OoOooooOOOoooo! Somebody put on his old medium sized knickers by mistake this morning.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:45, archived)
does anyone say knickers any more?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:46, archived)
The English?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:48, archived)
yes
source
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:49, archived)
^ upset

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:07, archived)
cunt

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:28, archived)
ACCIO PRICK
/harrypotter
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:23, archived)
Do you reckon anyone has actually used any of those Harry Potter pickup lines?
Imagine the sort of girl that they'd work on
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:24, archived)
an 11yr old probably

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:25, archived)
isn't that the target demographic for harry potter?

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:25, archived)
woah! easy up on the spell casting

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:24, archived)
SPELLCASTING
F-U-C-K-A-G-O-A-T
(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:31, archived)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:28, archived)
is that another one of your many unpleasant ailments?

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:35, archived)
Come on man, get hip with the kids!
By reading a 15 year old book
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:36, archived)
I'm a bit upset about missing the thread that I was allowed to be upset in

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:34, archived)
tough shit, you'll just have to cowboy up until tomorrow's designated upset thread

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:34, archived)
what's that thing that's comforting him?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:43, archived)
her indoors I reckon!

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:48, archived)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:53, archived)
Good morning.
Feel free to get upset in this thread.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 7:00, archived)
I'm really impressed
we filled up the whole board on Tuesday, and it's mostly made up of nonsense and bullying. Good forum, great banter.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 7:02, archived)
I'll cheer everyone up with a joke from my new favourite website.
Q: what would snoop doggs name be if he married winne da pooh A: snoop doggy dogg POOH

source: www.jokes4us.com/celebrityjokes/snoopdoggjokes.html
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 7:13, archived)
so in gay marriages, does one party take the surname of the other?
Is there a tradition or a protocol established here? I'm asked for a friend.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 7:21, archived)
it's just that I think maybe it would be winnie dogg
because Snoop would make that hunny-scoffing twat his bitch.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 7:22, archived)
You're over-thinking it.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 7:25, archived)
I just can't suspend my disbelief about Snoop's position in that relationship, that's all
I mean, he's already changed his name to Snoop Lion, so maybe he'd be more comfortable marrying Tigger? I dunno.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 7:29, archived)
hey, don't rip off two hats' gimmick

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 7:38, archived)
^ upset

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 7:06, archived)
pretty sure it's
v upset
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 7:10, archived)
not me obvs, the rest of the board

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 7:12, archived)
damn, that really didn't work :,(

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 7:13, archived)
^ upset

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 7:16, archived)

we're the double-act this board deserves
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 7:19, archived)
Shit and rubbish

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 7:34, archived)
Which one's which?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 7:43, archived)
morning monmun

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 7:47, archived)
Think you can keep this place in order, today, mano?
Maybe ban anyone who isn't super nice, that usually works.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 8:00, archived)
fuck off dozers
and fuck off psychochoc. Neither of you are funny, neither of you are interesting, and nothing you cook up between you is anything compared to dildogate.

So just fuck off.
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 1:08, archived)
seems reasonable

(I helped save b3ta! brb homonecrobatrachophile, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 1:15, archived)
alright

(Good evening Good evening, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:32, archived)
alright, someone's sockpuppet.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:33, archived)
It's probably me.
What a prick.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:34, archived)
I was going to pin the blame on dozer.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:35, archived)
he's an incorrigible nob

(Good evening Good evening, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:37, archived)
Few are less corrigible than he.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:51, archived)
I hate him, I hate him!

(Good evening Good evening, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:53, archived)
It's plumdozer, he likes to check peoples credit ratings and post personally identifiable information about you if you don't agree with him about politics or mortgages.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:35, archived)
Is he one of the big mean offtopic bullies who make you all sad and sniffleblubber?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:36, archived)
Yeah, I thought naming my previous employer in this thread was a bit creepy and weird.
www.b3ta.com/questions/trouble/post2563875
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:40, archived)
This seemed a bit unnecesary to me as well
www.b3ta.com/questions/trouble/post2566011
but I know he's signing up with a chartered organization soon with a ethics policy so I assume it will stop afterwards.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:45, archived)
They're like fucking schoolgirls over there.
Dunno why you don't just ignore them and kill yourself.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:48, archived)
Oh I've ignored Dozer and goodevening for many months.
But good point I should archive all his posts encouraging me to kill myself. It does show a pattern.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:52, archived)
Or ... you know ... stop taking the internet so SRS

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:55, archived)
When you search for my real name you get a post on voat that is about me being a pedo and a rapist.
Thanks to people from offtopic, that's not just b3ta rough and tumble that is harassment. Or should I say, I think that it is, and now I'll happily report it to third parties and let them make their minds up about it being an actual serious thing.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 22:06, archived)
Howd up ... you started the voat thing because you were upset on off topic.
You're actively searching out bullying, you menkle.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 22:15, archived)
I did start the voat for a joke, and something to talk about
I didn't say "hey post my personal information, ring me, accuse me of crimes for a laugh"
I was wearing a short skirt so I deserved it eh?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 22:25, archived)
Yes. You picking a fight with petty dweebs on the internet is usefully comparable with rape
you fucking muppet.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 22:39, archived)
I wasn't talking about rape, I was talking about harrassment.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 22:45, archived)
Any way you look at this it's all a bit sad really

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 22:15, archived)
Yeah, I know.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 22:21, archived)
I remember when this was a happy forum full of banter

(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 22:54, archived)
I think he likes you.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 22:11, archived)
I think he should leave me alone.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 22:12, archived)
I don't think that's likely.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 22:39, archived)
I think any evidence I do have that he is continuing the harrassment
in my upset and sensitive state will go right to the people that I believe will stop it most effectively.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 22:43, archived)
Whoever the ban-happy mod is, I'm not sure they're watching, any more.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 22:50, archived)
But it was okay when you posted the name of Swipe's employer a couple of years ago eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 23:07, archived)
I tried that once and only got banned twenty or thirty times.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 23:15, archived)
alright good evening

(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:38, archived)
Foolius.

(Good evening Good evening, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:41, archived)
the forum was getting a bit serious, an alright thread seems to have eased the tension

(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 22:01, archived)
oh maybe not ^

(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 22:02, archived)
why does monster munch ALWAYS have to ruin EVERYTHING???
I hate him!
(Good evening Good evening, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 22:13, archived)
I'm such a drama queen,
but I know you love me really.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 22:27, archived)
No, I hate you, I do!

(Good evening Good evening, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 22:31, archived)
Good! Give in to your hatred.
BattlestarGalactreklolz
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 22:49, archived)
fish fish fish fish fish

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:07, archived)
don't see what is so exciting about aquatic animals.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:09, archived)
i don't really like excitement, soz

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:10, archived)
I'm watching Inside number 9, creepy and weird.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:11, archived)
don't know what that is,
is it like Deep Space 9?
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:12, archived)
From some of them League of gentleman people.
www.imdb.com/title/tt2674806/
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:14, archived)
ah Patrick Stewart was in that, wasn't he,
so close enough
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:16, archived)
Not seen that one yet, Ophelia Lovibond was in one though, I find her attractive and appreciate her screen presence

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:19, archived)
The 4th episode based in a support line is good/creepy.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:17, archived)
silly me has watched a mixture of series one and two out of order.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:24, archived)
Orange you glad she didn't say banana?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:20, archived)
banana

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:21, archived)
God dammit MGT

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:24, archived)
don't mention that, bit of a sore subject m8
there was some deltions.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:22, archived)
BANANA WHO?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:29, archived)
no, banana Jeremy Corbyn you just said it

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:41, archived)
BANANA FISH BONES WHO?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:29, archived)
whalefish whalefish whalefish

(I helped save b3ta! brb homonecrobatrachophile, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:31, archived)
There's a whale.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:32, archived)
Whales aren't fish. They're apes.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:35, archived)
but apes are just highly evolved fish

(I helped save b3ta! brb homonecrobatrachophile, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 22:20, archived)
alright mr scruff

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:38, archived)
cunty bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 19:17, archived)
no thanks, I'm trying to cut down

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 19:20, archived)
That's a big pile of steaming turd

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 19:21, archived)
laura dern, up to her elbow, phwoar eh lads

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 19:25, archived)
bollocky cunts

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 19:28, archived)
Something about your mother and her sagging bearded flaps here.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 19:42, archived)
pretty rude m8t

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:51, archived)
I like cunt.
Bollocks I can give or take.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 19:41, archived)
What will you do with the bollocks you take?
Do you swap them, like a macabre game of Yu-Gi-Oh?
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:03, archived)
Put them in vinegar then drill a hole.

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:03, archived)
Is this a sex thing?

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:10, archived)
everything's a sex thing if you try hard enough

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:54, archived)
Nah chicken biriani pls boss, 2 popadoms

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 19:45, archived)
Whoa. Check out Mr Flash Harry double Popadoms here.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 19:50, archived)
I give one to the poor

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:14, archived)
You fucking do gooder.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:21, archived)
have you even noticed that if you order two poppadoms, they always give you at least three

(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:17, archived)
Popodom numbers are an abstract concept

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:20, archived)
carbs are the enemy mongy.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:06, archived)
The enemy of fat queers and blobbing birds.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:13, archived)
Strange way to spell Jews

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:21, archived)
they are the little death

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:23, archived)
I must not carb. carb is the mind-killer.
Carb is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my carbs.
I will permit them to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the carbs have gone there will be gains.
Only I will remain.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:27, archived)
Uv got some nerve m8

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 19:48, archived)
I know right

(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:16, archived)
Lets not forget
all the good things Jimmy Savile did.
(I helped save b3ta! the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:31, archived)
Jungle book reboot
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YW97nCUE3ZA
you couldn't make it up.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:33, archived)
disney trolling everyone again

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:35, archived)
They should do a straight to dvd release of all their old racist characters vs the Avengers.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:37, archived)
Oh that would be good, the racists wouldn't like that, what with all the black avengers and black people in Hollywood in general , haha yeah

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:43, archived)
At least captain america isn't one of those cowboy indians.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:47, archived)
Dunno the only marvel super hero I like is batman, having bat powers would be kweel

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 20:52, archived)
I like the Xmen, some of them aren't even men.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 21:07, archived)
I think we should just sweep all that under the carpet
pretend it never happened
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 18:51, archived)
won't it start to smell?

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 18:53, archived)
I hope it's better tomorrow

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 19:04, archived)
Has anybody ever clicked the "view older messages" link?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 19:13, archived)
it goes to lemon party

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 19:17, archived)
YOU'RE THE DISEASE AND I'M THE CURE

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:44, archived)

YOU'RE YOUR
(I helped save b3ta! H.B.Mupps, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:45, archived)
A WILD BALDMONKEY APPEARED
BALDMONKEY USED WAKI
IT'S SUPER SHIT
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:46, archived)
voting to ban shambles here

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:50, archived)
Democracy is for the weak.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:52, archived)
fuck you i'm going home, go suck a dick

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 17:02, archived)
I'm already home.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 17:03, archived)
I'm in my second home...the pub....oh hahahaha ha

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 17:40, archived)
^ tggi

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 18:26, archived)
wait
deloltion IS fun!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 17:34, archived)
Q: Why is 50 Cent a cat?
A: He has 9 lives (...He was shot nine times)

source: www.jokes4us.com/celebrityjokes/50centjokes.html
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 17:36, archived)
Ah, of course
I'm glad they left an explanation. I didn't know he'd been shot so many times. That being said, does being shot so many times turn you into a cat? You're a medical man, what are your thoughts?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 17:40, archived)
Yeah try not to over think it and just accept that it's a very funny joke.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 17:42, archived)
If he had 9 lives and was shot dead 9 times then he'd be dead.
I don't think they thought this through.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 17:46, archived)
He is dead isn't he?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 17:53, archived)
Not very.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 18:05, archived)
That "what did he say to his grandma" joke isn't as good as what he actually tweeted.
twitter.com/50cent/status/22201409032?lang=en
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 17:43, archived)
I prefer 2.0

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 17:41, archived)
And yet the mods do nothing.
It seems Monolith has fucked off to The Med
www.b3ta.com/links/12_mt_long_monolith_found_in_the_mediterainian_sea
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 17:41, archived)
fucking hell this place really goes to shit when there's more than 2 people here at a time

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 18:00, archived)
I heard they're scratching your name off the Mod of the Year trophy and replacing it with Happy Toast

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 18:08, archived)
come on, let's be civil about this

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 18:10, archived)
i know, right?
ouch
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 18:52, archived)
Its shambles dragging shit from often topics innit

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 18:15, archived)
I'm the saviour of Radio 1 FM.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 18:15, archived)
you fat ballbag

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 18:18, archived)
I'm not teabagging you after what happened last time.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 18:30, archived)
damn right
I don't know what the hell he's bleating on about half the time. He seems to think everyone else keeps up with his complete obsession with the mundanities of internet life.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 18:27, archived)
Just because you dress up like Robert Smith at the weekend
doesn't mean the rest of us are inflicted with your unique cocktail of venereal diseases.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 18:25, archived)
It's hardly unique.
All your mum's clients share it.

I'm saying she's a sex worker and a carrier of STIs.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 18:31, archived)
I know what you're saying
I'm not dim enough to go on /offtopic
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 18:39, archived)
Q: Why Does Arnold Scwarzenegger want two NFL football teams in Los Angeles?
A: So there is one legal team and one illegal team? (That way the mexicans are happy)
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:19, archived)
m8, you are wasted here
get a job writing for Mrs. Brown's Boys
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:21, archived)
bit racist

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:27, archived)
Q: Why did the homophobic politician retire?
A: He got a mandate!
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:28, archived)
Q: How is the trans-fat free Starbucks better than before?
A: There new trans-fat free Frappacino will pad your ass without clogging your arteries!
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:33, archived)
He's taking over from Donald Trump in The Apprentice
It might even be worth watching a bit.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:34, archived)
He'd better use "hasta la vista, baby"
in place of "you're fired".
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:39, archived)
Then throw a big pipe into their guts.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:40, archived)
with sexy results

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:42, archived)
That would improve The Apprentice, no end.
Lord Hummungus should take over from Lord Sugar.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:50, archived)
your fired will still work
i.imgur.com/s453sAZ.gifv
But I just hope he throws people out of windows if they fail a task.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:47, archived)
And 'Come with me if you want to live' to the winner.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:47, archived)
Jokes are shit and rubbish.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:41, archived)
Tw'ats ones especially so

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:43, archived)
I can't take responsibility for that gem
Look! Archery jokes!

www.jokes4us.com/sportsjokes/archeryjokes.html
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:48, archived)
Oh, boy! "England jokes".
Q: How does every English joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.

Oh, my sides.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:56, archived)
i was talking to a girl from georgia and she told me that if someone tells a joke and people don't understand it, they say it must have been an english joke
apparently other countries find our sense of humour incomprehensible. the savages
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:01, archived)
I'll bet that website doesn't even have a section for "Eduard Shevardnadze Jokes".

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:08, archived)
Yeah but people in Georgia probably tell jokes about people from like West Virginia and Louisianna and whatnot.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:10, archived)
not that georgia, silly

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:11, archived)
lolol trolld u!!!11

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:11, archived)
They have enough Bulls Eye jokes for a separate section, surely.
Make sure you follow him on Twitter
twitter.com/quickjokes
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:05, archived)
Disappointingly he doesn't seem to have any Hannukah jokes yet
www.jokes4us.com/holidayjokes/hanukahjokes/
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:34, archived)
i just noticed that robin johnson has me on ignore, that's cheered me right up

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:44, archived)
robin 'robin johnson' johnson?

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:01, archived)
Yeah, aka newington

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:06, archived)
who is robin johnson?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:03, archived)
A cock

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:07, archived)
He 2.0'd me on facebook, the sanctimonious wanker.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:11, archived)
I thought he was long gone from these parts?

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:09, archived)
you're missing out on loads!

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:09, archived)
Hahaha I bet alligator shitfuck would love these.
You know, because he's black.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:45, archived)
why did the golf pro have two pairs of trousers?
because professional golf players get paid a frankly ludicrous amount of money and he could easily afford more than one pair. in fact, maybe the question should be why did the golf pro have only two pairs of trousers?
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:49, archived)
he shit his first pair

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:52, archived)
I believe the correct participle is "shat".
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:17, archived)

www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/badcelebrityendorsementsjokes.html
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:52, archived)
reading the jokes on that site
makes me want to tear my penis off and shove it through Jeremy Corbyn's letterbox (bumhole)
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:54, archived)
what the fuck is going on there?

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:55, archived)
You should ban him for spamming a non sickipedia joke website mate

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:56, archived)
is sickipedia still going?

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:02, archived)
That's stupid, it's not as if when you die they throw you out of the hospital. God I hate sickipedia.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:08, archived)
Someone was seriously "upset" when they compiled that list.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:59, archived)
Yes, I was
Uh, I mean, YES...they were.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 16:36, archived)
sit-rep we have incoming terrorist hostiles to your position, they will breach your security in 90 seconds, point to your left that is your sheild, point to your right that is your weapon, arm yourselves, are you going to win?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:27, archived)
n

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:27, archived)
oh well never mind, you had a good run

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:28, archived)

a good the
+ s
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:32, archived)
dunno

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:28, archived)
probably for the best

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:29, archived)
Course I'm going to win
I have the might of booze and pork products behind me. They're like kryptonite to terrrrrrsts.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:31, archived)
A stethoscope and a sphygmomanometer. I guess I can scare them to death by telling them they have severe cardiovascular disease.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:31, archived)
not on my list of favorite dinosaurs

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:35, archived)
not really my remit, soz

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:31, archived)
nor mine, it's all shit and rubbish

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:32, archived)
Nehmind, only four hours till juicer time.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:34, archived)
Four? You some sort of whoopsie?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:56, archived)
Some of us have a job to do, you workshy wastrel.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 14:10, archived)
I shall never be ashamed of my laziness.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 14:29, archived)
Well I may technically be "at work", but clearly I'm actually on /talk.
So it's moot.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 14:32, archived)
How does a Muslim close the door?
Islams it!

(Eh zlarms it)
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:04, archived)
Let's hope they don't come back in, the paedo rape terrorists.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:07, archived)
my flaccid penis

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:33, archived)
If it extends across your left and right sides then that's some weapon you've got there!
I'd hate to see it when it's erect.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:36, archived)
i have paul to my left and a photocopier to my right

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:48, archived)
smash those rag heads up dovs, perhaps kiss paul when it's over

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:50, archived)
no thanks, i think paul had onions for lunch

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:57, archived)
you could kiss him on the penis instead

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:58, archived)
i can't believe i'm the last surviving member of the paulliance :(

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 14:36, archived)
wow
I bet you all looked like the fucking backstreet boys
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:15, archived)

looked
the

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:19, archived)
yer
me, cr3, balders and gonz. sexy. as. fuck.
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:26, archived)
Gonz still pops in.
And cr3 is at the end of a phone waiting for bloobloo Mod to ask for more anti-troll measures.

And BM died in a slow fire.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:42, archived)

a phone and a stapler.
Suppose I could call for back up
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:52, archived)
A pile of macbook boxes and a ruggedised water bottle.
I may die but I'll die a fucking hipster.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:53, archived)

also, how come we didn't detect them until a minute and a half before entry?
im on the 6th floor of a secure building?

Your story doesn't add up.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:53, archived)
Nothing is secure against the North Koreans.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:54, archived)
And jet fuel can't melt steel beams!
WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 14:22, archived)
I've got a bowl, or a bread bag for a sheild and a mug for a weapon.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:53, archived)
headphones, scissors

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 14:00, archived)
an empty bottle of coke and a picture of a dead baby

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 14:09, archived)
Oh hai Fritz

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 14:24, archived)
headphones and a timecode kit
the kit is in a fairly sturdy case, i reckon i could knock someone out
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 14:22, archived)
shield, steering wheel/airbag from a vw golf, could be useful if I can find a battery
weapon, a hairdryer
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 14:34, archived)
You'll make those salafist beards look FABULOUS!

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 14:45, archived)
wall and dullard co-worker, either will absorb the bullets quite nicely while I get the fuck out of there

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 14:36, archived)

Shield - Office chair Shit
Sword - Defunct yet hefty ball mouse Rubbish

I should be OK with that loadout
(I helped save b3ta! H.B.Mupps, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 14:54, archived)
NO, WE WILL HAVE A LUNCH THREAD

(I helped save b3ta! brb homonecrobatrachophile, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:19, archived)
dry bread and drier sausages
SATISFIED? I am
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:20, archived)
nice one
i had cheese and tomato

it was lush
(I helped save b3ta! brb homonecrobatrachophile, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:24, archived)
maybe we can have a movie food thread:
In what film did a cup of soup turn into a butterfly?
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:24, archived)
dunno maybe one of those michael bay transformers films

(I helped save b3ta! brb homonecrobatrachophile, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:00, archived)
Croque-monsieur

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:25, archived)
A croissant with ham and cheese isn't a fucking croque monsieur, you double bent cunt.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 15:06, archived)
Dennis Quaid enters another man, then his girlfriend, then gets married.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:27, archived)
Nerds wave their weapons about and get covered in slime and sweet white goo. Sigourney Weaver isn't impressed.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:47, archived)
Metastomp.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:47, archived)
Thats rubbish

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:50, archived)
Yeah, it is.
And she was quite impressed, by the end.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:56, archived)
She wasn't impressed enough to let them top'n'tail her.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:07, archived)
She did boink Venkmann, I think you'll find.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:09, archived)
We've all boinked Bill Murray. That means nothing.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:10, archived)
Lad finds out his Mum was a slag

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:52, archived)
yeah, that's a good one

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:56, archived)
I don't care what you say, she was lovely

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:12, archived)
Lea Thompson?
Absolutely. Still would.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:18, archived)
I'm sure she'd be deeply flattered to hear this, too

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:19, archived)
read the faq yeah
Please go easy on the misogynistic "I would" type posts whenever a picture of an attractive lady is posted on the board. Not only can it get a bit tiresome, but it can be intimidating and unwelcoming for a lot of lady boarders. Besides, even if you would, she probably wouldn't.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:23, archived)
basically it's your fault that lea thompson doesn't post here

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:24, archived)
WELL AT LEAST I ASKED HER

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:26, archived)
oh shit, you know what we should do
Tweet celebrities and see if they want to join /talk. Who should we ask? I mean, Mallett obviously.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:27, archived)
Mallett would definitely get involved, you should ask him right now

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:29, archived)
YOU CAME ON TOO STRONG AS USUAL

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:28, archived)
glorified laser pointer pervs on bathing woman

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:58, archived)
one man goes to extraordinary lengths to get a parking ticket rescinded

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:59, archived)
has it got Michael Douglas in it?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:02, archived)
nope

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:03, archived)
Must be shit then.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:09, archived)
yeah, it's the weakest in the trilogy

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:19, archived)
a man chucks his muck up a woman's bumhole

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:03, archived)
is there butter involved?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:10, archived)
oh yes
just a knob though
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:11, archived)
We've all been buggered by Marlon Brando. That means nothing.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:13, archived)
There are, in all fairness, any number of movies for which this could be a summary.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 14:54, archived)
Woman steals cash from her employer, stays in a creepy motel and then quite frankly gets everything she deserves.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:07, archived)
Dunno.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:07, archived)
Social services regret using the scene of a murder as the half-way house.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:09, archived)
is it that weird new zealand one?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:11, archived)
Oh come on Geordie Jay.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:12, archived)
Boy finds out his dad is black
blows up his dad's boss' house
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 13:23, archived)
Bored of that now.
Which bastion of freem'n'moxy do you intend to flee to when Our Glorious Leader, Chairman Comrade Corbyn, slaughters the royal family, dissolves the Church of England, bans private property, collectivizes the farms and launches a programme of dekulakization?
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:46, archived)
Haha, brb's shit lunch thread that no-one will reply to wasn't even there when I started writing that.
How serendipitous.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:47, archived)
I'd move to France but they've already done most of those things, the fucking pinko frog cunts.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:48, archived)
dunno

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:49, archived)
dunno

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:57, archived)
mr. tea is a cunt

(I helped save b3ta! brb homonecrobatrachophile, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:43, archived)
k, putting u on 2.0

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:46, archived)
Doc Shambolic went to see a shit french remake of Innerspace
what's your favourite Eighties movie?
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:10, archived)
dunno

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:11, archived)
shut up you donut, you blatantly have a favourite 80s movie

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:12, archived)
Deffo one with Molly Ringwald in it.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:13, archived)
i'll go for monkeyshines then from 89

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:17, archived)
bold choice, I've never heard of it

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:23, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monkeyshines
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:31, archived)
good gag, well played

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:33, archived)
what gag, give it a watch, number 2 is a bit samey
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tfs6WfbHyI
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:34, archived)

www.imdb.com/title/tt0095652/
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:40, archived)
It's an excellent French remake of Stand By Me with a hat tip to Lost Boys and Ferris Beuler.
Lost Boys is clearly the best 80s film, you cabbage-breathed immigrant.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:12, archived)
Lost Boys is great if you fancied Simon Le Bon growing up, you massive new romantic bumder

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:13, archived)
If you didn't fancy LeBon you were definitely a queer. Definitely.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:14, archived)
dunno why you're using the past tense.

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:27, archived)
Ghostbusters, OBviously.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:20, archived)
the blues brothers, and shut up

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:21, archived)
I haven't wanked to the mother superior scene in weeks.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:22, archived)
i watched it friday with my kids, i refrained from wanking

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:35, archived)
This man has no penis.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:21, archived)
Dick, I think you'll find.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:33, archived)
don't cross the beams!

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:35, archived)
Oh haha yeah let's do one of those threads where we intentionally misquote well-known films, those are totes jokes, hahaha.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:18, archived)
what film is that from?

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:23, archived)
bad film synopsis used to be fun

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:24, archived)
give it another go
we've already had an unprecedented number of threads today. let's keep this train rollin'
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:39, archived)
Die Hard

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:13, archived)
bit harsh

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:14, archived)
who framed roger rabbit, probably

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:18, archived)
Cartoon animal erotica is ok I think.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:19, archived)
That is a pretty good one

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:22, archived)
i'm not into silent movies

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:22, archived)
you watch porn with the volume on then?
you sick fuck
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:31, archived)
Well how else can you hear the dubbed Teutonic grunting?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:33, archived)
Live at Nottingham Rock City.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:37, archived)
it's hard to follow the plot without the volume up

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:52, archived)
look at this filth
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYYdTAuGm34
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:11, archived)
The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:24, archived)
too much glam for my liking

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:30, archived)
alright then, Porky's

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:32, archived)
Far too many to mention, sorry
The 80's was a wonderful time for cinema. You had Ghostbusters, Marty McFly amd Indiana Jones on one side...Freddy, Jason and Michael on the another...Arnie, Sly and Dolph doing their thing...and that's just the big names. So much low budget sci fi and horror in the 80's too. Sorry, I'd have to narrow it down to my favourite 50 of each genre.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:34, archived)
go on then

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:35, archived)
You'll need to give me a few days

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:37, archived)
but I'll have lost interest by then

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:38, archived)
Let's just say all the films were brilliant
quicker innit
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:39, archived)
save it for gaz eh

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:37, archived)
just fucking pick one Two Hats

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:40, archived)
I'll pick for him
bmx bandits
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:41, archived)
or condorman

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:41, archived)
oh god he's right, there's loads

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:42, archived)
Eliminators more like
www.imdb.com/title/tt0091003/
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:42, archived)
Mandroid. Mercenary. Scientist. Ninja. Each one a specialist. Together they are ELIMINATORS!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:43, archived)
You bet
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJgAeGUD2FU
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:44, archived)
And who can forget Starchaser: The Legend of Orin?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8UZ2WfLG70
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:45, archived)
Make it a triple.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:55, archived)
Temple of Doom

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:41, archived)
sounds like you're living in the past
contemporise, man!
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:44, archived)
I preferred Freddy cos Michael and Jason sort of blurred into one.
But Romero's zombies were my top teenage wank material.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:39, archived)
Short Circuit.
+ many others, probably.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:42, archived)
^tggi

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:43, archived)
Fisher Steven's performance is uncomfortable viewing, in the modern age.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:57, archived)
Oh yes sah, velly velly good sah
Goodness gracious me!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:03, archived)
He's from Pittsburgh!
I don't care what anyone else thinks, I loved Short Circuit 2.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:09, archived)
It was pretty fucking uncomfortable at the time.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:38, archived)
yeah, up the bum, from you, on a regular basis

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:56, archived)
what's that one where the bird gets her boobs out?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:00, archived)
i like breasts

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:09, archived)
Carry On Camping

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:17, archived)
Repo Man.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:13, archived)
Yeah!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:14, archived)
Tango and Cash was alright as well.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:14, archived)
Harry Dean Stanton is never anything less than excellent.
Quite why he turns up in Fire Down Below is beyond me.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:20, archived)
I agree with this.
Paris Texas is grand.

I'm sure when he's cast for something the director must tell him to remember his mucky beige suit.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:31, archived)

?
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:24, archived)
AKA Demolition Smash

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:36, archived)
indeed

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:38, archived)
something with a bit of cock and bum action

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:38, archived)
howard the duck

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:40, archived)
HOW the FUCK more like

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:42, archived)
disgusting

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 12:43, archived)
What awesome new achievement do you think Dr Shambolic has made recently?
I bet he did really well in an I Spy tournament.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:29, archived)
Oh boy you'll never guess what i did at the weekend!

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:30, archived)
local tiddlywink champion

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:36, archived)
probably beat up Peter Duncan for a charity fundraiser

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:36, archived)

eter J and
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:39, archived)
lit a fart

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:37, archived)
His GCSE results finally came through
lost in the post my arse
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:38, archived)

the post
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:38, archived)
It's the only way he'll get an A!
hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:39, archived)

jajajaja
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:41, archived)
I reckon he's found one of those plastic/metal strips you use for tying up brand new cables
and he's managed to make it completely straight again after endless hours of fiddling with it to while away the pointlessness of his own existence.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:39, archived)
This sounds like the voice of experience.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:42, archived)
I'm doing it right now

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:43, archived)
i reckon he finally mastered the difficult turn at the end of the bowser's castle track on mario kart 64

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:40, archived)
I never got past Eugene's Lair.
:(
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:43, archived)
here's a game i think you'd be great at
steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=404111723
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:49, archived)
video games have come a long way

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:54, archived)
I find his normal-sized penis threatening.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:55, archived)
how big is your penis in pixels?

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:57, archived)
pixelS?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:58, archived)
Adam Sandler ran over it in a Mini Cooper.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:00, archived)
dunno

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:58, archived)
I went to a pre-release showing of Michel Gondry's new film Microbe et Gasoile.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:02, archived)
this is not relevant to my interests so i'm not going to read anymore of this thread, thx

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 11:09, archived)
I'm cleaning up all my hard drives so that I've got nice neat backups with all correct folder names and no wAreZZZ labels
How are you fastidious?
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 9:40, archived)
I once ran down a three hundred foot scree slope knowing there was barbed wire at the bottom oh I'm sorry i thought you said fast idiots

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 9:43, archived)
A place for everything and everything in its place
there
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 9:43, archived)
Everything in the freezer and their cooking times are listed on a piece of paper to minimize the amount of door opening needed.
Other than that I'm a disgusting slob.
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 9:45, archived)
that's fucking ridiculous

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 9:52, archived)
My missus is close to this
She puts leftovers into bags which she stuffs into a tupperware box, freezes it for a day, then removes the box so that she's got frozen meals in neat little cubes.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 9:53, archived)
That's really quite good.
So the freezer looks like it's full of bricks?
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 9:55, archived)
Cut the bags away, build a wall with the bricks,
watch it slowly collapse. Maybe leap through it as it begins to soften.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 9:57, archived)
Sexy as fuck.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 9:58, archived)
Yeah, trouble is she cooks lots of stews
so it looks like Tetris: Vomit edition
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:01, archived)
I will give you £12 for a 60% share

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:18, archived)
Sexy as fuck.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:31, archived)
I started backing up all my photos to CD,
but got bored and now I can never find the pictures.

This is pretty much the opposite of what you asked, soz.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 9:46, archived)
Going through old photos is boring as fuck

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 9:54, archived)
It really is.
I ought to review them and delete all the crap ones, but I can't be arsed, so everything got burnt to CD, last year. Can't face doing it again.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 9:56, archived)
I've got 15Gb of pics I took of the Norwegian fjords

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:02, archived)
alright slartibartfast

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:08, archived)
this isn't the '70s, and that's not funny manolith
honestly, I don't know. You need to get your act together.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:09, archived)
They're doing The Goon Show on /OT.
manolith's reference is positively contemporaneous.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:25, archived)
It's all go over there, isn't it

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:29, archived)
i wasn't born in the 70s, methuselah

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:41, archived)
I'm not

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 9:51, archived)
You don't even pair your socks up before putting them back in the drawer?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 9:52, archived)
nope

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 9:53, archived)
philistine

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 9:54, archived)
that's mental
How can you not pair your socks? Unless....do you not wear socks, MONO?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 9:54, archived)
I'd rather not wear them
but I do.
all my socks are in the drawer, they're all there, why pair them?
(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:04, archived)
madness leads that way, MONO

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:04, archived)
Good question
what does Suggs do with his socks?!
(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:07, archived)
dunno, one step beyond or summat

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:09, archived)

he takes them one step beyond. He keeps them under his baggy trousers you're such a prick Two Hats
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:09, archived)
I just throw socks away and get a new pair.
Washing and drying and pairing socks is menkle.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 9:58, archived)
^ Living the life we all dream of

(I helped save b3ta! H.B.Mupps, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:06, archived)
Endless trips to M&S?
Each to his own, I guess.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:26, archived)
Nobody goes to the shops any more, grandad.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:28, archived)
Not sure I'd be comfortable buying clothes at a car boot.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:33, archived)
Ok
www.jokes4us.com/religiousjokes/atheistjokes.html
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 9:56, archived)
Eh?
Q: How do you make an atheist appreciate life?
A: Break his legs.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 9:59, archived)
woah!

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:00, archived)
How do you make an atheist appreciate life?
Break his legs!

Fucking LOL!
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:00, archived)
This adequately explains my own feelings on faith
Q: Why did the atheist throw her watch out the window?
A: She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:01, archived)
move over michael mcintyre!

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:03, archived)
Well Mongy's our resident watch expert, maybe he's better placed to comment

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:03, archived)
dunno

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 9:56, archived)
I leave no stone unturned and, if required, I'm prepared to give it 110%

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:01, archived)
I like the cut of your jib
If you know what I mean
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:02, archived)
is this a sailing thing?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:03, archived)
It's a bit nautical, yeah

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:04, archived)
So gay sex tourism, in other words.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:26, archived)
well when you say it like that

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:28, archived)
You go all flushed and dribble seed into your yfronts?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:30, archived)
That's the sort of blue sky thinking we need going forward

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:03, archived)
I always 'shhh' people at work and report any talking or noise to the boss

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:02, archived)
Hey SS
Is it right to shop someone for benefit fraud on the grounds that you don't like them?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:03, archived)
absolutely
I also would recommend a follow up facebook post on what you have done as a way getting validation from your peers
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:04, archived)
Ah, I'm not on the facebook you see
So the satisfaction would have to be entirely private.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:05, archived)
i'm not sure that i am
my whole life is chaos
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:05, archived)

www.jokes4us.com/pickuplines/ethnicpickuplines.html
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:08, archived)
depressing

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:09, archived)
Can you imagine actually trying any of those?
Mind you, the last one is quite complimentary.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:11, archived)
but it's the directions that are off putting (To Black Girl) (To White Woman)
(To a horse alone in a field)
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:12, archived)
haha
Yes, if you need directions then you probably need more practise speaking to other people, let alone a potential partner
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:15, archived)
Quite a few of them seem to be threatening sexual assault.
At least (If Muslim) Are you from Egypt? Because when I'm done with you, you'll be in de Nile threatens death by drowning, to keep things fresh.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:31, archived)
*chuckle*
oh dear
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:36, archived)
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Laughing Tentacles!
Laughing Tentacles who?
You would laugh too, if I gave you tentacles.

source: www.jokes4us.com/knockknockjokes/knockknockanimaljokes.html
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Sep 2015, 10:29, archived)

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