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alright b3ta, what's shaking?

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broadsword w⚓, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 19:38, archived)

friday wooohoooooooo

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 19:44, archived)

innit tho

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broadsword w⚓, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 19:51, archived)

word up big fella

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djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 19:44, archived)

alright richyplops

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broadsword w⚓, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 19:51, archived)

My penus and helmit

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 19:45, archived)

filth

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broadsword w⚓, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 19:51, archived)

Martin J Fox, you insensitive bastard.

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Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 20:01, archived)

martin, eh?

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manolith hooray for me, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 22:19, archived)

Dearest b
My kids are here, ones out with their mates at 11 tomorrow, the other at 12, they are like backpackers , makes me lol

Love
m
X
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mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 20:07, archived)

your peers must think you're such a darling

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Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 20:16, archived)

Dunno what you mean by peers, I have none

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mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 21:04, archived)

I haven't had a beer, yet.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 20:25, archived)

Lash.

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 Sep 2016, 21:19, archived)

Hi! Thanks for all the well wishes B4 M8s
Had to do actual work today. LOL!!

Didn't want to appear rude.
As you were.

Who was the last person to be rude to you?
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:21, archived)

some old cunt on the bus

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:29, archived)

I always have my headphones in for public transport. I can't bear to hear other diatribes of others.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:32, archived)

i do sometimes
then i can ignore the world and listen to ac/dc
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:34, archived)

Bar billiards tables are expensive, was going to get one for indoors

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mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:34, archived)

my friend told me that my gold watch makes me look like an old man or a pikey, that was a bit rude

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mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:02, archived)

People are rude to me all the time
Either that or I have a very low tolerance for rudeness
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:40, archived)

^ whiffy bumskull

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mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:42, archived)

You rudely ignored my link.

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:43, archived)

soz, listening now
got pricks at work annoying me
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:52, archived)

Yeah, that was alright
Wouldn't mind hearing more
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:55, archived)

Twohats was rude

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:46, archived)

I am NEVER rude

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:53, archived)

They don't get a chance
My carer usually steps in before then.
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:49, archived)

yahweh

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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:50, archived)

lol

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:53, archived)

Cooked meats, fruit salad, soil foods, and yolk
Much better to have a nice plate of aspic in ~~white~~ caucasian sauce
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H.B.Mupps, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:50, archived)

BIT RACIST M8

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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:10, archived)

The person who undermined the sanctity of my marriage by allowing men to marry one another

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:54, archived)

I MUCH less happy since gays were allowed to marry
I never used to hit her, for example
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:56, archived)

I think that was former US Secretary of State Co lin Powell

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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:58, archived)

it's not a real marriage tho is it, it's like little kids playing dress up, they are not really cowboys

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mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:03, archived)

I'd be quite happy for "marriage" to be restricted to religious partnerships,
with "civil partnerships" for everyone else, straight or gay. I got hitched in a registry office, and it wouldn't undermine my commitment to my spouse if we were to refer to that as a "civil partnership".
#serious
#airquotes
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:11, archived)

Shut up, mm.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:12, archived)

^this

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mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:18, archived)

I was happy with Civil partnership too...
At the end of the day we will probably go to America and get a shotgun wedding wherever.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:20, archived)

Classy.
Which one of you is pregnant, then?
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:20, archived)

both of us!

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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:48, archived)

keep seeing Johnny Vegas appearing on TV wearing a baseball cap
that's rude
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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:00, archived)

I quite liked 'Ideal'
shame it got canned
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:03, archived)

I thought they were going to do a TV movie of it?

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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:08, archived)

Really? I've not heard about that
with the same people?
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:08, archived)

dunno, here
www.imdb.com/title/tt3018362/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_3
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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:09, archived)

bonus list
www.imdb.com/list/ls002291456?ref_=nm_rls_2
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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:10, archived)

Lovely
I'd respect most of those women. In fact, I'd shoot my respect all over them.
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:12, archived)

have a little decorum
it's a family forum
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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:18, archived)

have a little penus more like

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:23, archived)

pervert

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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:26, archived)

i certainly don't let my kids use it anymore due to the current state of the forum posters behavior and lifestyles

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mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:23, archived)

good idea

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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:25, archived)

Well they've certainly packed that with details

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:11, archived)

^ watches BBC3

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:14, archived)

Good lord no
I got them on dvd
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:16, archived)

Shame they canned Mongrels, though.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:18, archived)

Never saw it

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:18, archived)

Probably never will, now.
No doubt it's met the same fate as Monkey Dust.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:20, archived)

Moneky Dust ended cos one of the writers died
Mongrels was great though
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:31, archived)

Never got a proper DVD release, though, thanks to the music licensing issues, and never gets repeated.
Mongrels was one of the few recent comedies that I can remember really enjoying.
There was that one about witness protection on Three, just before it closed, which I kept catching bits of. Sounded quite good, but then I managed to watch the last two episodes in full and it turned out to be rubbish.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:37, archived)

Him & Her was brilliant
A high watermark for comedy on there, and Russell Tovey played straight very well.
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:42, archived)

Tovey has a really drippy face.
I probably shouldn't hold that against him.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:51, archived)

Everyone in Him & Her is brilliant
Kerry Howard proved in that she is a billion times better than her brother.
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:53, archived)

She was in that witness protection thing, too.
I saw her brother's "Gert lush" thing, over Christmas. Load of crap.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:57, archived)

that was the best place for comedy when it first launched

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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:18, archived)

You're overlooking E4, here.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:18, archived)

It ended up being 'Snog, Marry, Avoid' and ungrateful women crying about their weddings
and teenagers making documentaries about things they didn't know enough about
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:19, archived)

Stacey Dooley is a hard hitting investigative journalist.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:22, archived)

sure

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:23, archived)

I almost maintained a straight face whilst typing that.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:31, archived)

i'd fuck her

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mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:33, archived)

I look forward to her in depth exposé on the troubling subject of
lonely old men off the internet who'd shag Stacey Dooley.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:40, archived)

lol

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:42, archived)

bit hurtful, i'm only 42 i think

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mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:42, archived)

Old enough to be her dad, I reckon.
I doubt she's even finished her a-levels.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:45, archived)

she looks about 30

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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:48, archived)

29 apparently

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:51, archived)

Young people are getting older every day.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:53, archived)

Nostalgia ain't what it used to be

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:58, archived)

there you go

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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:53, archived)

I would
but I wouldn't enjoy it
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:40, archived)

then don't do it

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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:43, archived)

You're probably right

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:46, archived)

More Dooley for me

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mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:51, archived)

you fill your boots

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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:53, archived)

They did some good things but hid them really well between endless 2 pints of lager repeats.
15 Stories High and Thieves Like US were good.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:41, archived)

Monkey Dust was great as well, obvs

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Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:42, archived)

Did anyone ever see him when he did stand up in the late 90's/early 00's
Tragicomedy and pottery in the same evening. Glad he stopped before it killed him.
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:04, archived)

not really a fan of his standup
too shouty
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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:08, archived)

I'd say the shouting was more the cry for help
For the time, it was a unique act. Dunno if I'll ever see an act like it ever again.
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:23, archived)

He had a Radio 4 series where he was a pottery teacher.
It was rather good, if memory serves.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:14, archived)

Have you seen his weird comeback film 'Whose Ready for Ice Cream?'.
It's really weird. Directed by Stewart Lee.

youtu.be/t4vNHoxIDZk
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Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:43, archived)

~~Ice Cream~~ a refreshing cup of PG
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:47, archived)

There is something great with Lee's gimpy laugh
Like he's found something that unlocked his joy for a second.
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:55, archived)

Lol yeah it's weird to see him out of character.

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Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 17:00, archived)

No one has been rude on here.
Childish wankery with the ignore button but not rude.

There was a rude lady in the bar of the hotel last night that wanted the dressage on...the fucking dressage.
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spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 16:19, archived)

bot bot get

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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 17:02, archived)

This article is amusing/horrifying
www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/11-most-ukip-things-conference-8847397#ICID=sharebar_twitter

but the comments at the bottom are just the icing on the cake
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 17:05, archived)

look at the fucking nerd in the hat
brilliant
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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 17:09, archived)

I know

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 17:10, archived)

A polish-born immigrant who wants to stop free movement in europe, no less

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 17:11, archived)

I want to punch him in the face for being a nerd

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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 17:12, archived)

fucking nerds

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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 17:13, archived)

frinkiac.com/gif/S05E03/529628/533799.gif?b64lines=
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Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 17:15, archived)

I assume Poland traded him for Grrry?

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 17:20, archived)

We did alright

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mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 17:27, archived)

I wonder how many of those condoms will make their way into womens fannies.

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Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 17:13, archived)

GOD HATES UKULELES

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 17:18, archived)

Can't blame him

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mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 17:30, archived)

GS?

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 17:06, archived)

yep

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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 17:10, archived)

meet me in the stationery cupboard

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 17:43, archived)

manolith is often pretty rude to me
I don't take it personally though
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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 18:21, archived)

I would like to hear the sound of two bricks being bashed together.

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 14:25, archived)

Hth
youtu.be/f3UCAQSFxCQ
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mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 14:28, archived)

+ with my dick in between them

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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 14:35, archived)

vg
Tungsten carbide drills! What the bloody hell's tungsten carbide drills?
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H.B.Mupps, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 14:41, archived)

oh

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 14:42, archived)

www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/1792037.main_image.jpg
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vladimir, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 14:53, archived)

Arbeit Par Three

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 14:56, archived)

It is a shame it doesn't roll down his arm
Crazy golf places are rather light on the old crazy.
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 14:59, archived)

I think a dictators and tyrants themed course would be a great success, the pol pot multiple skull obstacle section, etc, there's a lot of mileage here. by which I mean, a lot of mileage to cause enormous offence. i.e., the best kind of mileage
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vladimir, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:02, archived)

I think we have a business here

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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:09, archived)

Still more entertaining than proper golf though.

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Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:25, archived)

Yeah well I want a KFC zinger burger

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broadsword w⚓, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 14:57, archived)

how about two of them being bashed together though
how about that
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vladimir, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 14:58, archived)

Phwooar

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broadsword w⚓, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 14:59, archived)

+ with my dick in between them

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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:00, archived)

you should definitely jump the counter and insist they do that

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vladimir, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:02, archived)

oh you twat
now I want one too
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 14:59, archived)

Always get terrible burps after eating them
Zingers, not twats
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:01, archived)

I almost invariably feel utterly rancid after eating any KFC
and yet, three months later, I'll get another craving for poorly-cooked chicken
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:02, archived)

I've just had a fry up.

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Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:27, archived)

imgur.com/gallery/iLU5fti
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mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:03, archived)

haaa

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vladimir, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:04, archived)

that brought me a surprising amount of pleasure

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:05, archived)

^
maybe it's the stately way she comes to a halt
like a hippo being used as a curling stone
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vladimir, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:07, archived)

whoops, sorry, ^ spoilers
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vladimir, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:10, archived)

I saw a kitten get rugby tackled by a cat earlier

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Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:12, archived)

Time to die.

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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 17:41, archived)

9/11 neva foget

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 15:13, archived)

In memory of The Doveston, 3/7
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-37374758
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H.B.Mupps, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:54, archived)

5 for me , rip doves 4eva in r harts

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mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:59, archived)

Doves died on the 3rd of July?
Neva4get.

Also, 4/7.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 13:00, archived)

Oh man 1/7
My brain dun gone buh. And it wasn't even the Bake Off one
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 13:06, archived)

On the question below which I missed due to a horrible meeting
Have a massive soft spot for Creedence Clearwater Revival even though I'm not a massive fan of that music
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 13:09, archived)

4
get it
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 13:10, archived)

what you know about 5?

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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 13:13, archived)

they'll make you get down now

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 13:15, archived)

2/7
abysmal
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 13:14, archived)

"Never send a human to do a machine's job" Your score: 3/7

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 13:21, archived)

Your nan employed me to replace her sybian.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 13:24, archived)

+the batteries in

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 13:29, archived)

I'd like to see a robot manage that.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 13:33, archived)

She's upgraded now it's powered by 2-stroke.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 14:18, archived)

there'll be a third stroke soon by the sound of it

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 14:23, archived)

Ooft

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Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 14:31, archived)

gone but not forgotten
4/7 for me
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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 13:24, archived)

rip
xxx
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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 13:32, archived)

I'm sure The Doveston appreciates the heartfelt sentiment, Frank's Other Account

(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 13:37, archived)

4 for me
middle of the road as usual
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manolith hooray for me, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 14:20, archived)

*pats back*

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 14:21, archived)

What's the one thing you like that doesn't really fit in with the rest of your persona?
I find myself humming Katy Perry songs occasionally.
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 11:54, archived)

I post on an internet forum largely populated by IT nerds, gamers and lego spods

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 11:59, archived)

If you own more than one DAW
you're as spoddy as all the other nerds here m8
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:00, archived)

I'm not sure I even know what a DAW is

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:02, archived)

Dilated Anal Wart

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:07, archived)

#infest

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H.B.Mupps, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:24, archived)

he's talking about doors
grrry has 'occasional boston accent syndrome'
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manolith hooray for me, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:21, archived)

^ wicked smaht

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:28, archived)

Definitely A Willy

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:21, archived)

David Alexandre Winter

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$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:37, archived)

You don't listen to the radio, and yet you can hum Katy Perry songs?
Do you actively seek them out?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:01, archived)

Every now and then I'll spend a few hours with Youtube to find out what's Down Wit Da Yoot
I did the BBC's Sound_of_2016 artists this week. Shura's alright.
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:04, archived)

Also, Morris Dancing.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:02, archived)

Morris dancing is the worst.

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:05, archived)

i dunno, m8te
he's a great dancer
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manolith hooray for me, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:22, archived)

On a similar vein, I'm a huge Taylor Swift fan

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:03, archived)

~~Taylor~~ pile of steaming
w h
f
fan
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:05, archived)

Why start a thread if you're just going to bully people.

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:06, archived)

I haven't said anything about momu's penchant for jangly men bashing their hard wood against each other

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:08, archived)

You disappoint me.
I've never been Morris dancing.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:36, archived)

Dunno , hth

(

mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:19, archived)

^ owns lederhosen and a wide collection of oompah music

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:21, archived)

I most certainly do not

(

mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:21, archived)

^ protests too much

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:28, archived)

I dislike Germans and German culture

(

mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:29, archived)

yeah that's the point though, isn't it,
it's got to be something out of character
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:41, archived)

I already answered the stupid cunts question, now he's took to making stuff up , I've no interest in this thread

(

mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:44, archived)

those things are intrinsically linked with beer
so it wouldn't be that out of character
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:23, archived)

big willy

(

$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:29, archived)

style?

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:33, archived)

sure

(

$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:35, archived)

um
you've got me, there
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:40, archived)

Robbie Williams
To my knowledge there aren't any other singers traditionally popular with the laydeez that I like. I just think he's a very talented musician.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:43, archived)

when he's not ripping off James Bond themes

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:46, archived)

His appearance on Radio 4's Mastertapes was very interesting.
So was Noel Gallagher's, although that High Flying Birds album was rubbish.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 12:52, archived)

morning

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 6:45, archived)

Happy Friday, as they say on the Facebooks

(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 7:22, archived)

my Facebook is filled up with Polish historical photographs and my sister-in-laws onelikeoneshare bullshit
I dunno why I bother
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 7:24, archived)

What a coincidence
So is mine
(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 7:57, archived)

Is it National Potato Day or something?

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:10, archived)

YOU ARE A CUNT

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 Sep 2016, 7:51, archived)

that's... well....I don't know what to say to that

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 7:52, archived)

+LIKELY TO BE EATEN BY

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 7:55, archived)

That would give a pleasing symmetry to one's life, don't you think.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:11, archived)

Morning Grrrmachine
XSS stored and reflected, CSRF, SQLmap, SQLi, privelige escalation and Unix application server hacking.

Thanks
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 7:52, archived)

I'm glad you're detailing all of this
because it makes my lego videos seem more socially acceptable in comparison
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 7:53, archived)

It is very grey today
You'd love it
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:03, archived)

it would make a change from this perpetual bloody sunshine

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:06, archived)

Discriminating by timzeone a bit there, aren't you?
Have you considered that it might be EVENING for some people?

Not for me, obviously.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:10, archived)

the only people who have evening when it's morning for me
are idiot Yanks and other dozy colonials
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:15, archived)

Top shouting-out of Knob Flabholm.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:17, archived)

g'day

(

$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:31, archived)

^ dozy colonial

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:37, archived)

this too shall pass

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:31, archived)

According to the report it's NOT going to rain
but the clouds, Manolith! The clouds!
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:33, archived)

do a dance
like they do in tribes to appease God(s)
(

$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:34, archived)

A sullen, threatening sky.
Teenage behaviour will affect central and eastern areas. This will gradually move down from the Midlands. Further west, it will become emo with self-harm periods. Later on it will feel much more mature than recently and rather light-hearted in the south.
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:40, archived)

#scene

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:52, archived)

#hatered
#ambivalentaboutgreen
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:03, archived)

meh, I was into cold fronts before they were cool

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:54, archived)

cool
based on this, i'm going to work in tshirt and shorts
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:47, archived)

I'm going full frontal today, m8
I'm going to show this humidity who's boss
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:58, archived)

disgusting

(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:34, archived)

~~who's boss~~ my little penus
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:45, archived)

Take THAT, humidity!
*jiggles*
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:47, archived)

none m8

(

$$ ✅, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:35, archived)

Some old diplomat was talking about past wars
but since his own and his host countries had now made peace, "they'd all passed a lot of water since then". Oh how we all laughed.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:38, archived)

"Oh no, I hef dropped anuzza boner!"

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:40, archived)

haha, wee

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:55, archived)

hi, I'm about ready for a weekend now

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:51, archived)

NO
MORE WORK FOR YOU FIRST
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:53, archived)

~~FOR YOU FIRST~~
(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:58, archived)

well ok, but I'm only going to make a half-arsed attempt to do it

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:01, archived)

Ahoy hoy
The mushiest brain day of the week, nothing taxing please
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:52, archived)

*slow-moving aeroplane*

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:55, archived)

*tries to paw it out of the sky*

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:05, archived)

i'm so tired i can't ev

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 8:56, archived)

Somebody send the thing to the Manolith to the wake thing
Thing
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:01, archived)

i have a coffee now
it's helping a little bit
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:51, archived)

Alright

(

mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:19, archived)

alright
war's on, what you cooking?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:21, archived)

Ain't looked yet

(

mongychops, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:43, archived)

Still a cunt by the way

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:20, archived)

I really don't see what I've done to deserve this sort of treatment

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:22, archived)

He seems Muppset about something, that's for sure

(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:24, archived)

You're a cunt too

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:38, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7743305
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:55, archived)

mongy creeps me out at times

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 10:05, archived)

aww you were trying for a baby

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 10:18, archived)

haha, someone on the poland subreddit called him a simpleton

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 10:36, archived)

This is the perfect morning to find out that sometime had appropriated my brolly,
and that my waterproof coat has gone missing.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:36, archived)

I bought a compact brolly to keep in my backpack for emergencies
my wife pinched it, lost it. So I bought another one. She pinched it and lost it. Next one is being kept a total secret.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:40, archived)

~~lly~~ mide
~~water~~ blood
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:41, archived)

My libido is through the roof, this morning.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:46, archived)

hi hun

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 11:01, archived)

Wheelchair rugby is pretty good.

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 18:34, archived)

alright spanishfly

(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 19:12, archived)

Alright vlad.
How are you?
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 19:15, archived)

middling

(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 19:30, archived)

m p
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 15 Sep 2016, 19:48, archived)

oh ha ha ha
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puddletown
(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 20:03, archived)

I liked it better when they called it Murderball.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 20:15, archived)

I liked Rollerball when I was younger
I'm sure that film's due a reboot sometime soon
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 9:40, archived)

Oh God I'm no longer a twenty-something

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 16 Sep 2016, 0:37, archived)

Need something up the top here
This'll do. Will you have a nice evening? Well?
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:17, archived)

Too early to tell
but probably
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:18, archived)

That's the spirit!

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:26, archived)

gonna walk up the pub in a bit, have a few pints and watch the footy i suppose

(

mongychops, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:18, archived)

Going to be full of Man U wankers surely?

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:25, archived)

not where i live

(

mongychops, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:28, archived)

What's the predominant kind of wanker round your way then?

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:46, archived)

For me, millwall scum

(

mongychops, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:51, archived)

Ah, one of the three teams with a swearword in their name:
Arsenal, Scunthorpe and FUCKING Millwall.
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:58, archived)

~~n U~~ tt Bianco
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 18:31, archived)

not sure

(

$$ ✅, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:30, archived)

Your not sure what a nice evening is?

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:50, archived)

Yeah, probably

(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:30, archived)

May it work out alright
Or something
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:49, archived)

I'm sure it will, there's spliffs, a couple of ales, risotto and Deadly Premonition on the cards
Just got to look busy for another half hour
(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:50, archived)

Oh yes, I might re-arrange my collection of Star Trek DVD's

(

broadsword w⚓, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:36, archived)

~~re-arrange~~ place in the bin
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:45, archived)

YOU TAKE THAT BACK WRITE NOW

(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:47, archived)

NUH UH

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:48, archived)

oh :(

(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:51, archived)

Hope so. Can anyone explain how I hate sports so much and yet I love sports mix?

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:43, archived)

You like chewing and waxy flavours
But actually hate sport
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:46, archived)

What's sports mix?
Is it where you play cricket but with a football instead, that sort of thing?
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:47, archived)

You've never heard of Sports Mix?
These?
(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:48, archived)

new one on me

(

$$ ✅, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:52, archived)

Try them m8, they're totes amazeballs

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:06, archived)

Maynards?
Pah. Haribo 4 Lyfe!
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:58, archived)

Haribo? Fucking kill yourself.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:06, archived)

Fangtastics FTW.
You massive fucking loser.

Edit: or Tangfastics even, durr.
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:12, archived)

Fangtastics are so fucking horrible I'd be amazed if they don't give you cancer.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:14, archived)

Tangfastics are the best Haribo,
but I'd rather have something else. Sports Mix isn't a bad choice, but it's no Peanut M&Ms.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:17, archived)

Saying Tangfastics are the best Haribo is like saying that prostate cancer is one of the best cancers.
Sure it might not kill you as fast as the other cancers and you might even survive it completely but I'd rather not have it at all thank you.
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:24, archived)

I think you're investing far too much emotional energy into disliking a brand of sweets.
It's probably quite bad for. Maybe even worse for you than Haribo.
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:38, archived)

I think you should shut the fuck up before I do something I'm not going to regret but you certainly will

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:51, archived)

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

(

$$ ✅, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 18:02, archived)

^ cheap peado

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:09, archived)

Fuck now I want more sports mix

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:05, archived)

might go for a pint with Baggenfock

(

$$ ✅, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:45, archived)

You had your answer and you blew it
Don't start trying to make it sound interesting now
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:50, archived)

sorry

(

$$ ✅, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:52, archived)

sorry to everyone I've let down

(

$$ ✅, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:53, archived)

it'll take some time but we'll get through this

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:42, archived)

i.imgur.com/jqHT9V3.gif
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:08, archived)

now imagine that on the end of your willy
lol
(

$$ ✅, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:09, archived)

i.imgur.com/HaVdv26.webp
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:17, archived)

in time

(

$$ ✅, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:20, archived)

bleurgh
that's from a music video, innit?
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:54, archived)

I grabbed a piece of what I assumed to be cake, from the kitchen as I left work.
It's some sort of unpleasantly flavored savoury, instead. Really need to wash my mouth out. Ugh.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:15, archived)

serves you right for being greedy

(

$$ ✅, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:16, archived)

It was a cruel trick, and no mistake.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:19, archived)

Office food thief finally gets comeuppance
Man reviled by accidental grab and go incident. More on this story at 10
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:19, archived)

At the moment it's looking relatively balanced.
I'm having a good time on the beers right now, but the Doris is due home in an hour and she's totally going to piss on my parade for drinking during the week. It's a good job I have the secret weapon of being able to tell her that the reason she's late home is that she went out to drink mojitos with her friends, really.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:42, archived)

dunno

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 17:55, archived)

This'll cheer you up
Tits! Hahaha
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 19:57, archived)

Few beers in the hotel bar.
Pikey chicken curry.

I did just watch a police chase through London though near tower bridge.

It was two coppers on push bikes chasing a crook...on another push bike.
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 18:08, archived)

An ambulance has just gone whizzing by as well.
Fingers crossed the pigs came to a sticky end.
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 18:16, archived)

Settle down, Tommy Vercetti.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 18:20, archived)

I don't know who that is
Do I need to be an old fuck to get the reference?

How are you meat head? What you benching these days?
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 18:23, archived)

I don't know what's classed as "old", these days.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 20:14, archived)

Alright

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 13:57, archived)

Guess so.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:03, archived)

well that sounds ok

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:24, archived)

Yeah sweet

(

mongychops, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:03, archived)

Nice
Bloody humid though
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:24, archived)

It is muggy

(

mongychops, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:25, archived)

New purchase has a dink on it so that's going back

(

mongychops, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:25, archived)

a watch?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:26, archived)

Yeah , shame really

(

mongychops, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:28, archived)

back a bit, back a bit, there
www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/14744960.Street_evacuated_after_car_crashes_into_New_Cross_house_bursting_gas_main/
(

mongychops, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:44, archived)

lol

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:49, archived)

this might interest the nerds, you can buy sean's highlander sword
content.propstore.com/auction/la2016/liveauctioninteractivecatalogue2016/index.html?_ga=1.30293048.645887231.1473950829
(

mongychops, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 15:53, archived)

oh the link doesn't work, soz

(

mongychops, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 15:59, archived)

Did you put a dink on it?

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:41, archived)

i most certainly did not

(

mongychops, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:44, archived)

can't complain

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:05, archived)

^ blatant lies

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:16, archived)

Fine
My back hurts, it's too hot, I haven't had a decent lunch, one of my bosses is being a dick and trying to make me take the blame for his lack of input, I don't have enough free time to finish off my projects and there's no sign of any respite from this endless torment in the near future.

Satisfied?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:23, archived)

did you enjoy bake off last night?

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:25, archived)

Got in a little later than planned, so we're watching it tonight
which means cwc is pushed back, which means backlash is pushed back. My life is SO hard, manolith :(
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:27, archived)

1 like = 1 prayer
i've watched backlash and raw, need to watch sd and the cwc.
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:29, archived)

sure

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:24, archived)

Alright
Alright
Alright
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:16, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhTCYqJsfqs
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:23, archived)

Just grooved like a motherfucker
Ta
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:37, archived)

don't thank me, Im
Thank Mr Waters
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:38, archived)

A person I'm currently not thanking is Jack White and his new acoustic recording release
If you have the albums then it is a few b-sides and a few unreleased tracks. Shame that.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:54, archived)

youtu.be/feTPd7LVZyc
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:28, archived)

That episode is amazing

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:30, archived)

you're not wrong

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 15:09, archived)

Positively delirious, my dear boy.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:22, archived)

^effervescent

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:24, archived)

no, i'm half left
how many times, fucking hell
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:25, archived)

I think I'm melting

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:27, archived)

no, you've always looked like that

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:29, archived)

shit

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:30, archived)

More of a statement than a question, really,
but in answer to the unwritten question mark, it's been a pretty nice day so far (touch wood). I've even got the beers in for tonight.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:31, archived)

Lovely
I hope you enjoy your evening. Although I will advise you to drink responsibly. Otherwise you might spill it! hahahahah no wait
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:33, archived)

Heh, not bad.
My doctor told me to drink in moderation. I asked him how far it was to Moderation from Reading and if he could recommend me some good pubs.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:40, archived)

alright TH

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:36, archived)

Tangle Wangle Quee

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:37, archived)

Pretty good, Doppelhut
Had a busy morning but things seem to be simmering down for an afternoon of doing fuck all, then an evening of blazing it and playing one of the best games ever made

Might also grab a couple of ales as well due to excessive office discussion about beers and microbreweries
(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:36, archived)

it's too hot to work, I reckon

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 14:40, archived)

Just cut my palm chopping veg
Someone call an ambulance
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 15:13, archived)

Don't fight it
Head towards the angels.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 15:15, archived)

I can see a bright light...

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 15:16, archived)

yes, you've instinctively opened the fridge

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 15:26, archived)

Lol

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 15:29, archived)

pfft

(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 15:30, archived)

now he just needs to tie a label to his toe and climb in

(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 15:34, archived)

he'll have to empty the contents first, and by empty i mean eat

(

mongychops, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 15:38, archived)

they never had this trouble on silent witness

(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 15:43, archived)

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 15:37, archived)

Na you're alright

(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 15:17, archived)

If you were holding the veg in the palm of your hand while cutting it,
some might say you brought this misfortune upon yourself.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 15:23, archived)

yeah well I bet you never even ran with scissors or stuck pencils in the light socket or even went for a swim straight after eating your lunch or anything did you, where's the fun eh
(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 15:35, archived)

Lies
Only last week I did a running dive into the swimming pool with electric scissors in my hands and my mouth still full of kung pao chicken.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 16:00, archived)

No, of course not
I slipped and stabbed myself
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 15:36, archived)

t mmed lm nts
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 15:29, archived)

i'll find you a candy wrapper or something if you gimme a minute
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 15:49, archived)

just finished painting my cock for Battle of Britain day

(

$$ ✅, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 15:50, archived)

Richard McBeef is a right wrong'un
How are you a bit of a wrong'un?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 11:59, archived)

a bit too much

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:00, archived)

I enjoy things that some who would be considered on the so-called "straight and narrow"
would find repugnant, deviant, and detrimental to their established world view
(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:04, archived)

^ loves bake off

(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:12, archived)

Totes

(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:32, archived)

o ar e
(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:47, archived)

^ puts the milk and sugar in with the teabag, then adds the water

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:12, archived)

+ from the hot tap

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:13, archived)

:D

(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:13, archived)

AAAARGH

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:23, archived)

I prefer to teabag the milk
then have a coffee
(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:33, archived)

^ goes to garden centres, but on a weekday
(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:14, archived)

That's when it's quiet
and I can have a wank in peace
(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:40, archived)

pfft

(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:44, archived)

also, aquatic shed or succulents?

(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:48, archived)

+ asking for a friend

(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:48, archived)

I have no idea what this means

(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:54, archived)

what, somewhere else then? surely not the cafe :/

(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:57, archived)

worse :(
twitter.com/PolhillGC/status/773800575808970752/photo/1?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
(

mongychops, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:59, archived)

*chortle*

(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 13:45, archived)

He probably dips his willy in the goldfish tank so the fish can go moop-moop-moop on his jebend.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 13:26, archived)

YOU PROMISED YOU'D NEVER TELL
*flounces*
(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 13:32, archived)

^thinks it's acceptable to be naked except for socks

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:22, archived)

It isn't?

(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:33, archived)

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:36, archived)

^Thought Sporty Spice was the fit one

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:58, archived)

Not at all m8
she's scouse
(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 13:41, archived)

when I spunk poo comes out of my helmit :(

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:11, archived)

i.imgur.com/2DiWUXX.gifv
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:16, archived)

never mind that
www.theguardian.com/science/2016/sep/14/scientists-reveal-most-accurate-depiction-of-a-dinosaur-ever-created#img-1
(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:12, archived)

aww he's not so terrible

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:15, archived)

I can almost hear a little friendly inquisitive voice
I bet he'd bounce about the place and get into loads of hilarious mishaps
(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:18, archived)

with his friends the gigantic tree ferns and the strange wriggly thing that lives in the swamp
(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:19, archived)

but it would all work out OK in the end however much of a pickle they were in
(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:19, archived)

all until that unfortunate mass extinction event, whoops
(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:20, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judith_Barsi
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:24, archived)

ha. that must be the most grrrmachine link ever posted

(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:44, archived)

So it was a land parrot
Scary.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:41, archived)

http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6wxrtpHxp1ry00fjo1_500.gif
(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 13:40, archived)

I popped in the wrong un at the weekend to see stella Jim

(

mongychops, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:17, archived)

Hang round on messageboards
Thinking this is a normal way to communicate
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:17, archived)

wait isn't it :/

(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:18, archived)

Been versed in these worlds since late 90's
Some people think it is just plain odd
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:40, archived)

I see NOTHING odd here

(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:49, archived)

nothing
im brilliant
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:19, archived)

That jury said otherwise :(

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:26, archived)

12 upset men more like

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:43, archived)

I'm a dipsomaniac with a questionable work ethic.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:19, archived)

^ constantly flicks binary switches to the wrong position

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:20, archived)

There's a 'your nan' joke here but I'm on holiday and myy heart isn't in it

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:22, archived)

you can't be on holiday
you haven't started a new thread to tell us you're on your holidays, where you went, and why you're still talking to us without being on someone's payroll.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:24, archived)

I'm waiting for my phone to charge before I go out.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:25, archived)

I don't think that i need to explain this.

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:30, archived)

I eat tuna straight out of the tin and half the time can't be bothered to interact with people at all.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:42, archived)

you are a cat aicmfp

(

mongychops, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:44, archived)

I like this

(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:46, archived)

Probably not that far wrong.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:46, archived)

Half? Lightweight
Beyond signing for packages from the postman, I last spoke to someone else two weeks ago when I had my hair cut.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 12:44, archived)

Hermit-tastic, baby.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 13:05, archived)

I GIVE IT UP THE WRONG UN

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 13:00, archived)

Pretty selfish really

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 13:20, archived)

You are the worst dentist, ever.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 13:26, archived)

according to the Grrrump-meister General 'no fucker ever wants to start any other threads'
why don't you ever start new threads, eh?
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:08, archived)

i do, on occasional wednesdays

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:11, archived)

are they like occasional tables?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:11, archived)

sometimes

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:22, archived)

oh I see why now

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:11, archived)

we can't succumb* to qotw disease
where more and more posts are about how nobody posts anymore, so fewer and less people bother and eventually; death

*lol 'suc cum'
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:25, archived)

I have nothing interesting to say.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:13, archived)

really?
that's interesting, do go on
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:17, archived)

I'm interested in your bikes m8

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:18, archived)

~~ikes~~ um
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:24, archived)

haha
classic strikey-g
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:32, archived)

hoho he'll be blushing to himself at this slur on his sexuality no doubt

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:34, archived)

m8 it's made me completely re-evaluate who I am as a person

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:43, archived)

I've decided the clip on handlebars are no good as I'm too tall and my knees get in the way.
So I'm trying to decide on what bars to get. I reckon straight bars.
Ordered a dial gauge today as well, so I can sort the timing out.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 15 Sep 2016, 11:26, archived)

Did yesterday, went well
May do again. 7/10 would recommend.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:21, archived)

did you type it on a keyboard?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:27, archived)

Nah with my dong on yer nans forehead

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 11:04, archived)

that doesn't make any sense

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 11:17, archived)

She liked it
So lets keep it that way.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 11:27, archived)

I prefer not to start threads these days because it upsets Two Hats and manolith.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:22, archived)

surely that's precisely why you should start them

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:23, archived)

But is that not the slippery slope to mutating into Rory or Dozer?

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:29, archived)

yes it might be an improvement

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:33, archived)

Bit harsh m8

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:57, archived)

I'm sure they won't mind
as long as they get to dominate the popular page
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:24, archived)

get to?

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:39, archived)

triggered

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:28, archived)

roddered

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:31, archived)

if you play your cards right

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:37, archived)

which one are you?

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:33, archived)

I'm the one on speed-dial in your nan's phone.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:48, archived)

oh, you're the carer that gets called when she pushes her 'i've fallen over' button?

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:59, archived)

That's me.
We've agreed that her favourite sex position is 'prone'.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 11:02, archived)

and yours is 'crone' i guess

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 11:23, archived)

Can't be bothered

(

mongychops, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:24, archived)

finally an honest answer

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:31, archived)

this place would be on its arse without me

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:24, archived)

nevertheless I think we are all prepared to give it a try

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:32, archived)

You'll miss me when I'm gone

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:38, archived)

The fear of being lolblanked
I occasionally fill in for Grrry on the morning thread if needs be, but if I start a thread it'll most likely be about games, books, films, or food, which sort of closes it off from the majority who couldn't care less about these things
(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 11:05, archived)

ok don't start one then

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 11:17, archived)

Don't you reverse psychology me

(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 11:19, archived)

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 11:18, archived)

Because everyone here is a cunt.

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 11:06, archived)

they only want to be your friend m8

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 11:16, archived)

alright
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/70/9f/a9/709fa9f1af02c6ca6a3c054ec729b3a7.jpg
(

vladimir, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 11:22, archived)

whoah

(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 11:51, archived)

morning

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 6:54, archived)

morning Grrrmachine
MiTM, Burp Suite and fiddler, with some SQLi today.
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 6:57, archived)

if I just copy and paste all these names and tools onto my CV
can I get a l33t hacker job like yours?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:06, archived)

You'd end up on a register grrry, that's all paedo slang

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:19, archived)

you'd know

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:21, archived)

I know because it's spanishfly.
Also 'fiddler' was a bit of a giveaway
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:25, archived)

Fiddler was a bit risqué

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:41, archived)

Oh yeah. It's dead easy.

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:41, archived)

morning

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:21, archived)

alright 2Can
how's your spawn?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:21, archived)

Been a bit vomity past few days, thinking of buying a carpet washer.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:24, archived)

install parquet m8, it makes mopping up bodily fluids so much easier

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:34, archived)

Or Lion-O

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:36, archived)

^hosts Polish swingers parties

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:58, archived)

To replace the kid?

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:40, archived)

Morning Grrry

(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:29, archived)

alright mupps
Slaughter Of The Soul y/n?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:35, archived)

Haven't heard much At the Gates
They're alright but I'd rather listen to Gojira

Heart of a Coward is a new one for me, they're pretty good for melodic death metal stuff
(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:48, archived)

This is a normal post

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:35, archived)

this is not a normal poster

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:35, archived)

Guy I went to school with had an A3 of Tom Araya looking fierce on his ceiling, when he was out of the room we shot the shit out of it with BB plinkers
He was not impressed
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:40, archived)

#thatsinterestingrichard

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:48, archived)

Yes, morning.
Everyone's favourite.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:54, archived)

favourite what?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:58, archived)

meaning a nice bowl of monster munch for breakfast in the morning

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 8:00, archived)

Don't bother me with details.
I want results!
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 8:54, archived)

Morning, I had to pick architraves for around the windows yesterday.
Ladypig got upset that I said "as long as they fit and are the right colour, the specifics of each roll channel aren't thst important to me"
It took an hour. I think this is why women earn less.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:56, archived)

But imagine the consequences if they're not quite right

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:59, archived)

I can think of none.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 15 Sep 2016, 8:02, archived)

All her friends will be judging you both

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 8:04, archived)

The dinner party was great but I couldn't tear my eyes away from their front pelmet, how utterly GHASTLY

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 8:05, archived)

you've got a point here mate. I better rush home.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 15 Sep 2016, 8:08, archived)

Never take a woman to a DIY store m8
it's all end in tears and more bathroom junk.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 7:59, archived)

Wasn't even in the shop, just a brochure the window fitter left.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 15 Sep 2016, 8:02, archived)

"yeah mate, I'ma professional window fitter but I do a nice sideline in architraves"

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 8:48, archived)

Is it completely impossible a man able to fit windows would be able to do also do the making good?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 15 Sep 2016, 8:49, archived)

based on the work I've seen of window fitters
absolutely not
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 8:56, archived)

Ha haha, I like Arunas and I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 15 Sep 2016, 8:57, archived)

Sticking a bit of skirting board around a window doesn't sound as though it'd be too challenging.
Although quite why you'd want to is lost on me.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 8:58, archived)

Don't stand
Don't stand
Don't stand so close to my bins.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 8:08, archived)

ooh, that Stings

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 8:22, archived)

Someone should call The Police about this

(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 8:30, archived)

morning, up early waiting for fed ex

(

mongychops, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 8:27, archived)

it's nice of her to come round after she's had her breakfast

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 8:32, archived)

Oh aye?
*Vague implication that you've ordered sex toys and / or something deviant*
(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 8:33, archived)

hiya

(

$$ ✅, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 8:36, archived)

wotcha SS

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 8:40, archived)

anything great happening today?

(

$$ ✅, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 8:51, archived)

it's Battle of Britain day m8
get your Spitfires out for the lads
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 9:13, archived)

give me a sec to paint it

(

$$ ✅, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 9:15, archived)

Mmm, Kentish ale...

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 9:23, archived)

Ahoy hoy
Hello to all, especially the lurkers, you mute perverts you.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 9:16, archived)

I don't think there are any lurkers on here any more

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 9:30, archived)

what, swans?

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 9:43, archived)

It's an 'out-of-context-lol click' from me

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 9:49, archived)

and it's an 'out-of-context-lol click' from him

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:03, archived)

oh, go on then
'morning'
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 9:34, archived)

'good' so-called 'morning' to you, 'manolith'
if that's even your real name!
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 9:49, archived)

it's my nom de plume

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 9:59, archived)

I thought I'd be too late for the morning thread

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 9:44, archived)

no fucker ever wants to start any other threads

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 9:48, archived)

on it

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 10:08, archived)

*sweats* *wheezes* *throws up*
It's alright....I'm....jesus...I'm here.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 9:48, archived)

we don't want you here in that sort of state tbh

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 9:50, archived)

I just need.....I just need to catch...to catch my breath

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 9:51, archived)

oh, didn't you get the memo?
you didn't need to come in today. the temp is using your desk
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 9:57, archived)

Evening /talk
PS4 Pro v Xbox Scorpio. What's that all about eh?

Alt: Who else needs a poo?
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 21:32, archived)

I'm not ready to poo, but it feels like there's gas backing up behind it.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 21:36, archived)

And with all of his strength he gave a mighty shove
Then a pooh stick yelled out "There's a light up above!"
And those carpet slippers tumbled from a would-be loft
Now there's only one left and he's nowhere as soft, Big Jobbie
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 21:46, archived)

I reckon it'll be like popping a cork.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 21:48, archived)

I hate that, it makes for a sub-optimal lateral dipersal upon release
Maybe my toilet is rubbish, but it never gets the sides properly done.
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 21:54, archived)

The place I'm in at the moment has an ecoflush bog.
It's a false economy; by the time you've got the bog brush in about it and cleaned it off you're up to at least 3.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 21:59, archived)

It's the end of days, mark me
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 22:07, archived)

I've considered leaving a full mop bucket by the pan on the weekend.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 22:25, archived)

The world is getting you to wipe your shit away and flush Fewer water even with 5 flushes

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 22:48, archived)

I'm not sure, I've not volumetrically considered it tbh.
What they should do is use grey/rainwater to fill the cistern. It all goes down the same pipe here.

I know this because our buchan trap collapsed and every time it rained shit ran down the street.

We're not even on metered water.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 22:58, archived)

alright enron hubbard
I tend to do my pooing earlier in the day, thanks for taking an interest tho
(

broadsword w⚓, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 21:49, archived)

This is the aim, regular diet, regular movements. I envy you, but I like stupid spicy stuff way too much.
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 21:57, archived)

dunno
i can't believe i didn't think to strikey-g two hats' post earlier. it would have been so easy to make it say 'would you do me for a fiver?'
i've let myself down, more than anything
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 21:53, archived)

~~'ve let myself~~ have +s
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 21:55, archived)

that too

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 0:06, archived)

I will pick the system that reflects the popular choice of the time
alt: always
(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 21:59, archived)

$$

(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 22:01, archived)

Hubs

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 22:04, archived)

When I was holidaying in Malta I could never work out whether it was like Greece where you put your bog roll in a bin.
So I only did it half the time. At best I unnecessarily stressed out their plumbing, at worst I unintentionally defiled several restaurants and cafe's.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 22:03, archived)

you flush there

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 22:04, archived)

u a
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 22:08, archived)

~~t e~~ a e ry
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 22:28, archived)

Oh dear.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 22:25, archived)

I time my poos so they occur before showers

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 0:43, archived)

If I did that I'd need to clean my bedsheets daily.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 15 Sep 2016, 1:08, archived)

So, what would YOU do for ME for a fiver?
www.fiverr.com/
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:01, archived)

yn

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:02, archived)

oh come on now, really

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:07, archived)

I'd tell you to fuck off.
J/K I'd do that for nothing m8.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:02, archived)

that's a mixed message, m8

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:04, archived)

dip you in egg and roll you in breadcrumbs

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:03, archived)

I'd be like a sexy, bearded escalope

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:05, archived)

that's disturbing

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:07, archived)

You're the one treating me like a sex object

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:08, archived)

i didn't say disturbing was bad
and who the fuck dips sex objects in egg and breadcrumbs? have you been fucking scampi or something?
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:13, archived)

a bit, yeah

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:13, archived)

make sure you let them cool a bit first
don't try to knob them straight out of the fryer
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:16, archived)

Isn't an escalope flat? You'd be like a big chicken Kiev.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:15, archived)

Look, am I getting covered in breadcrumbs, or are we just going to discuss the differences between international poultry dishes?
JEEZ
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:16, archived)

If you're not going to take it seriously, what's the point.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:18, archived)

I'm starting to have serious doubts about this whole project

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:19, archived)

i haven't seen any fiver yet

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:20, archived)

^needs an egg

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:21, archived)

+ square

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 16:20, archived)

www.fiverr.com/insanelyquirky/wear-shoes-with-eggs-inside-them?context=advanced_search&context_type=rating&context_referrer=search_gigs&pos=14&funnel=11d70ffa-7907-4a8a-be04-7155f53826b7
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 16:21, archived)

OK; I'm voting for 'bearded escalope' to be today's Viz euphemism.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:16, archived)

don't, it's making me try to imagine one

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:17, archived)

I used to have my voice on there for a few months
5 bucks, 100 words, anything you like.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:04, archived)

if you need to borrow some money dont be too proud to ask, we are all here for you

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:05, archived)

it was a lark to see if there was any decent money in the industry
it seems there is, but it definitely doesn't come from fiverr, the thieving cunts.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:12, archived)

I really really really really really really really really really really
really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really like lego trains
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:07, archived)

It's a shame you didn't tell us this at a time. We could've had a lot of fun with it.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:09, archived)

That's probably exactly why he didn't tell us

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:11, archived)

^^

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:12, archived)

Funsponge

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:13, archived)

However, I got my "I'm Tim from Germany" gigs out of it
so I can't complain too much
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:13, archived)

if someone wants me to produce viral content,
i'll just sneeze on them
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:05, archived)

Yeah you will

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:05, archived)

I bet someone, somewhere will pay you to sneeze on them
how does £15 sound?
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:11, archived)

ok but you have to pay my travel expenses

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:15, archived)

prolly flop a bollock out and see where that goes

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:06, archived)

I like it
It's honest, it's matter-of-fact and above all, it's raunchy.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:08, archived)

actually, buy you a Chinotto and stroke you while you drank it

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:07, archived)

I'd fucking love that

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:08, archived)

And if you can't find chinotto, I'm happy with a Sprite

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:09, archived)

"it's better to be a human satisfied than a pig satisfied"

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:10, archived)

easy for you to say

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:25, archived)

never heard of that
sounds quite nice
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:10, archived)

Chinotto reckon

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:13, archived)

post tastefully nude

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:09, archived)

On a chaise?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:10, archived)

I will cast love and powerful sexual enhancement spells for you for $5
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:10, archived)

You can't argue with the reviews

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:11, archived)

mental

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:11, archived)

What's with the picture?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:13, archived)

it's part of the magic

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:15, archived)

www.fiverr.com/funnymad/write-your-message-on-my-big-belly-and-dancing-my-jungle-dance
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:14, archived)

only 3 days delivery??
You can't beat that kind of service
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:15, archived)

it's my birthday soon
jus' sayin'
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:16, archived)

Well you know me
Why pay for what you can make yourself....
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:17, archived)

is your jungle dance as good as his though?

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:21, archived)

No, I'll have to modify the dance to match my own skill level
Imagine MC Hammer doing the Charleston. It'll be the opposite of that.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:23, archived)

I had a fiver earlier and then I bought a can of coke and now I only have 4.51 in change

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:10, archived)

49p for a coke?
That's pretty good
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:12, archived)

I thought so.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:24, archived)

Popped into a Boots in Bath to get a bottle of coke for the boy
£1.80!!!! For 500ml of coke!! What a world.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:25, archived)

What were you doing in bath?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:29, archived)

Mind your own business

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:31, archived)

We fancied a day out
Also, I bought a guitar
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:31, archived)

I did a job in bath and it looked like a nice place.
Is it worth a day trip?
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:35, archived)

Oh, it's beautiful
The Roman baths, the Abbey, the shops, the restaurants, Vintage & Rare Guitars. Cracking place.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:37, archived)

Really thinking about buying this egg cuber
Wonder if I can find one cheaper, though
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:11, archived)

Hang on, egg cuber? Why would you want cubed eggs.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:11, archived)

sexual reasons

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:12, archived)

So they don't roll around the plate, apparetly
www.zavvi.com/kitchen-accessories/eddingtons-egg-cuber-yellow/11091973.html

And you can go right to the edges of your sandwiches
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:12, archived)

'add some fun to breakfast time' lol

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:14, archived)

I know right
As if breakfast time isn't already fun enough!!
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:18, archived)

That's is the stupidest thing I've ever fucking seen.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:15, archived)

someone hasn't seen buddah pairs

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:17, archived)

pears, not pairs, ffs

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:30, archived)

I've not.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:36, archived)

www.buzzhourly.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/buddhapear-e1454560096949.jpg
(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:39, archived)

eurgh

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:40, archived)

^not a mirror owner
lol
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:18, archived)

What a time to be alive.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:56, archived)

Fuck it off and buy this instead.
static.neatorama.com/images/uploads/2007/07/400_sausegges.jpg
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:12, archived)

WOW!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:13, archived)

that's good but it'd be better in a cube

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:23, archived)

It's cylindrical but I reckon you could whittle it down if you needed to.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:26, archived)

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Eggy dildo!
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:27, archived)

The thought had crossed my mind.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:29, archived)

#infest

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:31, archived)

You just reminded me
of this video about how those things are made
(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 16:27, archived)

i feel a bit sick now

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 16:41, archived)

why do you want square eggs? do you live on a slope

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:13, archived)

lol
I want to build a really stinky wall
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:14, archived)

shit in a ice cube tray
freeze it and voila! poo blocks
(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:20, archived)

But then I've got to touch frozen shit with my hands, $$
I'm not an idiot, you know
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:24, archived)

this is a really good answer

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:22, archived)

Wait, that's a load bearing omelette!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:24, archived)

pffffft

(

vladimir, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:33, archived)

wow, i didn't expect you to spend the whole day thinking about this

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:19, archived)

I'm not a man who makes rash decisions, Manolith
This sort of purchase, nay investment, deserves careful consideration
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:22, archived)

how many times have you clicked 'add to basket' so far?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:24, archived)

and then deleted the item?
46
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:26, archived)

well if that isn't careful consideration then I don't know what is

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:35, archived)

if it's investment you're after
buy one, then offer to cube people's eggs for a fiver

you'll be quids in. i get 20% though
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:27, archived)

Done

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:28, archived)

Hey, maybe I could get a chicken to lay a fucking egg right into the thing
then make the shell square too.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:28, archived)

Do chickens make one egg at a time, or is there a few of them up there in the chute?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:33, archived)

Man, there's so much I don't know about chickens

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:36, archived)

and it turns out that
yes, you can get it cheaper
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:25, archived)

Oh man, and I'd be able to pick it up in Havant!
Thanks Manolith...you're not the worst.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:27, archived)

i'm going to invent the square egg slicer, with the way the square egg market is going i'll be a billionaire

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:29, archived)

what a time to be alive!

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:30, archived)

Important to get in on the bottom floor
By 2020 square eggs will be in every household, mark my words
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:31, archived)

people also bought cat food and a plunger???? the mind boggles
www.amazon.co.uk/Metaltex-20-45-00-Egg-Slicer/dp/B000TAPCEA
(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:32, archived)

Curious
Hey...I wonder how my egg slicer will handle the Cubegg™?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:34, archived)

It's alright, mongy's on the case with a square one.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:36, archived)

Oh yeah, of course
Sorry, I'm just all a-twitter!
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:38, archived)

you do that, i'll start on the square egg cup (patent pending)
all aboard the money train!
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:32, archived)

we might need little egg shovels for dippy eggs if two hats can get his chicken to lay square fucking eggs

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:35, archived)

coo, yeah
oh man, imagine a square fucking egg with egg-shaped toast soldiers
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:37, archived)

mind blown

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:38, archived)

why would you need an egg cup?
eggs rolling off plates are a thing of the past
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:40, archived)

i suppose
nostalgia?
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:41, archived)

need to think of something square that the eggs head could be, a bald sponge bob?

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:43, archived)

Tardis?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:44, archived)

twin towers, cash in on the anniversary, little plane spoons to smash the top off

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:46, archived)

those pop vinyls always have roughly cubic heads
make a cup that looks like the leg bit, draw two black circles on the egg. bosh.
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:57, archived)

I had to google them, surprised my kids don't have them, they love wasting my money on junk

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 16:04, archived)

there's thousands of them
so be careful
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 16:12, archived)

The thought of a little cubic dippy egg
sat there...it's making me well up.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:41, archived)

c p
+s
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:48, archived)

it's the end times, I tell you :(
blessedwatermelon.weebly.com/uploads/5/3/1/9/53191951/7920244_orig.jpg
(

vladimir, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:35, archived)

japans been doing them for years, and heart shaped ones, and pears shaped like buddah

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:37, archived)

frinkiac.com/gif/S10E23/732264/735600.gif?b64lines=
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:39, archived)

www.fiverr.com/tiger35/cast-a-voodoo-spell-on-your-x?funnel=e43ebebf-2d6b-4f92-b165-35dc58aaffff
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:43, archived)

ok, everybody shut up
i've found the best one
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:43, archived)

I'll go halves with you

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:45, archived)

I'll do it for free

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:51, archived)

ok, please do
i can't wait to see it
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:55, archived)

+ into your nan's bush

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:56, archived)

Stand behind you in all awkward situations and underline what you have just said with "Yeah"
And when you walk away I would push them and adjust my jacket.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:55, archived)

rub your nipples and blow in your ear

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 16:05, archived)

all a bit suspect this
www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/14742637._I_feel_like_I_have_nothing___Greenhithe_family_leave_home_after_ceiling_collapses/
(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 16:14, archived)

yeah I note the housing association's statement refer to 'deliberate damage'
also, I'm not really buying this 'Complex Regional Pain Syndrome'
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 16:24, archived)

thinking she wants to move or an upgrade

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 16:29, archived)

hmm
good url story here though:
www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/14738029.Man_arrested_after_passing_out_drunkenly_at_bus_stop_and_vomiting_on_three_year_old_son/?ref=mrb&lp=15
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 16:27, archived)

dads always get the blame, maybe the 3 yr old was sick

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 16:30, archived)

That happened to my mate. Luckily he'd fell asleep pissed on his sofa and it happened in his bedroom.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 16:33, archived)

what he pulled down the ceiling of his council house to get a bigger one

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 16:36, archived)

Nah, that wouldn't have worked 'cos it was his flat.
His bedroom ceiling fell in.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 16:37, archived)

she's the best

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 16:37, archived)

As the board is moving at lightning pace but nobody wants to answer anything
Free talk thread

Get whatever you want off your mind. Promise none of this will be used as evidence in court.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:39, archived)

We've got a load of customers in today and I'm finding the air of sycophance quite unpalatable.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:42, archived)

~~syco~~ unwashed
h
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:50, archived)

A pair of pance?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:23, archived)

perfumed, no doubt

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:24, archived)

i.imgur.com/IHHKdYQ.jpg
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:48, archived)

haha, oh dear
lakitu will be along soon to set him (her?) straight
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:53, archived)

No, no, FOUR CANDLES

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:24, archived)

No, he's just pining for the fjords

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:32, archived)

My ex mother in law is 70 tomorrow, I suppose I should get a card

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:42, archived)

why should you get one?
if anyone should get one it's her
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:45, archived)

If she follows office rules for birthdays, she ought to get the whole family cards.

(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:47, archived)

In our office all the ladies whip round and buy the other ladies presents
The men just don't bother.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:52, archived)

We pass a card round the office and I write 'all the best' in it without bothering to check who or what it is for.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:32, archived)

A guy I used to work for always wrote "all the breast" in cards
Regardless of who it was for, or the occasion
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:39, archived)

what a legend!

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:41, archived)

by legend I mean prick

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:42, archived)

^

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:45, archived)

He was awful
Any woman whose postition was senior to his own was a "very clever girl". Naturally he was unashamedly racist and homophobic. The fact that he was a stupid prick is almost certainly the only reason he never got fired. People just ignored it in the hope that he'd shut up.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:53, archived)

what a great guy

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:58, archived)

Shocking twist: it was Two Hats all along!

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:01, archived)

I sometimes fear that people take my curmudgeonliness personally, but I'm like that with everyone.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:02, archived)

maybe he thought they were raptors

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:03, archived)

Depends if you want to be on her good side
If you are in with a shot of being on the will then speculate to accumulate
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:52, archived)

Nah I won't be in the will

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:56, archived)

Then do not waste the cash
Throwing good money after bad
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:59, archived)

She's a good nan to my kids and they'll be minted when she pegs out

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:02, archived)

Let them do the hard graft
Your cuteness faded long ago.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:04, archived)

Probably when her daughter bin bagged me

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:05, archived)

I'm sure there were reservations way before that
Otherwise you'd have a shot at a vase or something.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:09, archived)

~~bin ba~~ pe

I'm just continuing the theme of this whole thread tbh
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:30, archived)

how about this
i.imgur.com/ZxIDk14.jpg
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:10, archived)

ok, you asked for it
my supervisor is in the process of boxing up his wife's dildo for postage. she left it behind when she moved up to manchester, you see and he's still here packing up their house. he has just said 'i think this is the first time i've posted something that's been up my arse'
this is what it is like to work in the creative arts faculty of a university, folks
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:42, archived)

:O
I suspect he may regret saying that in 5...4...3...
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:43, archived)

she's got a girl coming round this weekend so will need her fake willy

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:44, archived)

I don't know what this means
I don't know what any of this means!!!
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:45, archived)

it's not that complicated
they're just a bi married couple who are currently living apart so they're both indulging in sexual conduct with people they meet on dating apps!
a while ago, he couldn't get the uber app to work on his phone so he downloaded it on mine and used that. i've never bothered to sign him out so every now and then i'll get a notification for a cab at 3am and think 'ooh, i know what HE'S up to!'
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:49, archived)

good heavens

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:52, archived)

he was disappointed recently as the fella he met up with had a willy that was too big for his bum
stop me when you've heard enough
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:08, archived)

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:21, archived)

Thing is, why is he telling you this?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:21, archived)

because it's really rude to just roll over and go straight to sleep

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:26, archived)

Hahaha!

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:28, archived)

dunno. just the kind of person he is

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:26, archived)

I think....he's flirting with you mano

(

vladimir, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:37, archived)

I don't really understand how open relationships work.
But then I'm extremely selfish.
(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:21, archived)

yeah, i know what you mean
they've been together about ten years though and it seems to work for them. who am i to argue
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:33, archived)

That's obviously disgusting but I've witnessed more humanity in that single sentence than I see in a fucking year of working in this place.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:44, archived)

What record player are you refurbishing?
I did my Grandpa's old Lenco a while back. I bring this up any time I'm around the subject because I'm desperate for validation.
(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:45, archived)

It's a Lenco L75.
I need to paint the plinth and might get a car painter to do the top plate. If I'm doing that I might as well do the bearings on the motor and spindle.

I've got a Jelco tonearm to fit to it as the old one was shite and saggy and too cumbersome for my shure cartridge.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:47, archived)

Mine's an L70.
Everything's original except the cartridge and the wiring. It just needed a bit of grease. Even the wheel rubber was still good. Not bad for something that had spent thirty years in an attic.
(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:50, archived)

Yeah, there's no rumble on my wheel either.
It worked quite well but the entire thing appeared to be covered in nicotine stains.

I started doing it last year and stopped when the weather got too bad to paint it outside. I've not gotten around to picking it up again.

I was just going to do the plynth as that was tatty, but I kept thinking 'while I'm at it'.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:52, archived)

The plinth mine's on is massive.
I can't get rid of it though as the old guy built it himself.
(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:04, archived)

in a lot of ways, i hate my job
but it's never boring
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:45, archived)

>.<

(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:44, archived)

are you his wife's girlfriend?
sorry for ruining the surprise
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:45, archived)

Oooh, me aching gussetry

(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:40, archived)

hahahahaha

(

vladimir, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:44, archived)

it happened
and, so help me, i actually thought 'how am i going to work this into conversation on /talk'
hit f5 and it turns out keybo had read my mind!
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:46, archived)

arf

(

vladimir, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:38, archived)

I know what I'm doing with the birthday card now, thx

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:44, archived)

np

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:44, archived)

and mine

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:48, archived)

are you gingerlover86?

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:49, archived)

was once

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:50, archived)

I'm reminded of loaded's "Office Pest" cartoons.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:51, archived)

They were great
One of the best things about that mag along with pornalikes
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:53, archived)

I remember getting an issue that came with a sticker sheet, to decorate office equipment,
one of which was a "this phone has been up my arse" sticker. Even then, when I still thought buying loaded was a good idea, I knew a lolwakki prick when I saw one.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:56, archived)

It was all talk and bluster with some comedy wrapped round it
The "lads mags" like Zoo of the 00's was just straight up wank material for knuckle draggers
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:01, archived)

Oh god, they were the worst. And actually so much more misogynistic than porn that didn't try to pretend not to be porn.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:04, archived)

Exactly
James Brown (the magazine one) was clever enough to tap into 90's culture, Zoo was little more than the internet printed for dim fucks.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:06, archived)

They're like the Sunday sport but without the ludicrous articles and headlines with the word 'BELLEND' in them.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:15, archived)

Zoo and Nuts were truly horrible.
Mind you, it's no good kidding ourselves that FHM and Maxim were classy publications.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:05, archived)

FHM's jokes page was alright
The rest was shite. Loaded was a proper product of its time that has been copied countless times and failed.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:11, archived)

Given that I was always quite happy to go into the newsagents and buy from the top shelf,
I'm not really sure why I ever bought any of those magazines. I supposed you didn't have to hide copies of Maxim where girls wouldn't see them.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:27, archived)

I quite liked the FHM carnival of the grotesque when I was about 12.
Now I think of it, that was just basically a printout of rotten.com wasn't it?
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:14, archived)

I've still got the two issues of FHM that featured Gillian Anderson on the covers.
In a box with the first half dozen or so issues of the X Files comic.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:24, archived)

^tim bisley

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:28, archived)

^ Bilbo Bagshot

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:30, archived)

+ball
~~shot~~
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:48, archived)

dunno if i know those
sounds a bit like modern toss though
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:14, archived)

same people

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:15, archived)

makes sense

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:21, archived)

So on the weekend at this conference
We heard a story about an ex colleague who last year got into a spot of bother in a brothel, he couldn't do the biz so he left. Some odd reason he returned an hour later to "finish the job". He now has the nickname of two times Tim.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:55, archived)

In my teaching days I worked at various companies
and one firm bought products from another, and I worked from both. When one guy found that out, he asked me if I knew a certain sales girl. Apparently she sealed the deal for a multi-year software contract with this company by dressing up in a tennis outfit and allowing the company's accountants to do a mixed doubles on her in her own apartment one night. I could never look at her the same way after that.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:58, archived)

She wanted the Cadillac Eldorado bad
Or steak knives
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:03, archived)

One of my mates goes to international away games.
The lads chipped together for birthday boy's go on a brass. He comes back down the stairs saying he couldn't do it.

One of the other blokes was up like a fucking greyhound through the door saying, 'i've fuckin paid for this'.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:59, archived)

It's all gone a bit QOTW, all of a sudden.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:03, archived)

He stole this from Legless
who wrote all urban myths
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:09, archived)

Cheers.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:17, archived)

It could well be bollocks; I'm certainly not going to argue about a story I heard second-hand.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:18, archived)

classic Shambo

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:36, archived)

It's always nice to see him being abusive in more than one language.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:47, archived)

haha, i did laugh at him calling shambles a 'mental pygmy'

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:01, archived)

haha, i hope he spent the hour walking around talking to himself
'come on tim, you can do this!'
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:16, archived)

Knowing what I've heard about him
He probably put together a motivational powerpoint presentation
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:24, archived)

I'd have paid the prostitute double to call him a worthless human being.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:25, archived)

I really enjoyed this post
Are you going to film yourself boxing up another strapon with the hashtag #ignoringdoubledickers?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:55, archived)

The latest TV ads for Double Deckers feature a lad failing to ignore one.
I think they saw my hashtag and deliberately subverted it.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:58, archived)

horrible bullying :(

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:59, archived)

haha, i should
he's an odd person but a good friend. i'm looking after their cat for a while as they move oop north
i hope that hasn't been up his bum too
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:14, archived)

Sounds like he's never posted his own head.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:04, archived)

have any of us?

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:16, archived)

My boss has a nice old house facing onto an attractive old ivy clad wall
and he wants to put a chain link fence in front of it because the wall isn't high enough to stop his dogs jumping out.

Some people shouldn't be allowed nice things.
(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:44, archived)

He could just chain his dogs up.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:44, archived)

I just suggested that.
I was told that my ideas are worse than Baldrick's. I blame you for this.
(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:46, archived)

I don't see how that's a terrible idea. Less effort than a fence as well.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:48, archived)

Indeed Kroney
You should burn the house down before anyone else gets to ruin it.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:58, archived)

And that's a fact.

(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:01, archived)

bollocks to virtually everything

(

vladimir, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:45, archived)

thanks imtypingonakeyboard, I feel much better

(

vladimir, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:45, archived)

No problem
Invoice is in the post for this therapy session
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:49, archived)

"bollocks to this, bollocks to that,
bollocks to you and your nan, you big twat.
everything's bollocks, it's sad but it's true;
don't tell me to cheer up 'cause that's bollocks too.
now i'm sat in this dinghy, the oars in their rowlocks
and i bet you are too, you dirty old bollocks"
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:06, archived)

:DDDD
thanks manolith
(

vladimir, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:23, archived)

Might have a shower in a bit
but then I need to prep for dinner. Should I wait and shower after I've done that? What do you think?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:46, archived)

if you're getting gamey shower now

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:49, archived)

Do dinner then shower
Dunno how sweaty you might get peeling stuff
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:50, archived)

It's pretty hot in the kitchen at the moment
You're right. This is the best solution.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:54, archived)

OP please deliver
Dinner to my house
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:56, archived)

youtu.be/Q59hIl0MWS4
(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:51, archived)

Directed and produced by Mickey Dolenz
as was Metal Mickey. Quite the renaissance man, was Mickey.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:55, archived)

God, that really is terrible, isn't it

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:56, archived)

Yeah , they should re make it

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:01, archived)

BOYCE
They're putting Jimi's Monterey Strat on display at the V&A

https://handelhendrix.org/see-whats-left-hendrixs-guitar-burnt-monterey-1967/
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:49, archived)

~~Strat~~ Jack
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:53, archived)

I want to set up a gofundme or a kickstarter to buy more lego to make more videos
but I can't bring myself to go begging for the chance to buy more kid's toys
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:49, archived)

Put an ad in the back of Private Eye
It'll be the best begging ad in there for years.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:15, archived)

how many subscribers* do you have?
could consider a patreon

*utter fucking losers
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:20, archived)

If he really wanted to rake the big bucks in
He'd put the models in a hydraulic press
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:22, archived)

3000
I need about 400 quid, so a pound each off 15% of them would suffice, but I think most of them are 14 year olds who spent all their dosh on No Man's Sky so they'd be too skint.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:26, archived)

i dunno if you've investigated patreon but it's not uncommon for people to ask for a pound/dollar/whatever a week, maybe even a month
you generally have to offer something, but it could be just early access to the videos or you could have a patrons only channel with the raw footage uploaded or sutin. you'd be surprised.
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:32, archived)

cheers, I'll look into it
I was thinking up the sort of additional bollocks kickstarters have to offer when you chip in more than a fiver, so I'll have to weigh up whether I want a trickle each month or a lump sum up front to get another batch of vids on the go.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:36, archived)

Grrrmachine: Too Hot for Youtube
that sort of thing?
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:55, archived)

yeah, if he records them in the nuddy

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 15:02, archived)

i ain't dun nuthim

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:39, archived)

not wot i erd

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:45, archived)

u wot m8?

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:52, archived)

erd u were there is all

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 14:57, archived)

That was terrible
What with all this hot weather in the south, there's bound to be a storm following it. Tell me your experiences of XTREEEEM weather.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:44, archived)

Remember when it snowed?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:47, archived)

Boy, do I

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:00, archived)

remember it?
I had to walk to school in it AND the school was closed when I got there
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:09, archived)

Last time it snowed my boss was off with concussion after sledging into a tree.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:16, archived)

Fuck
www.holygrailguitarshow.com/
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:23, archived)

no way
a lecture by the Cem Öcek? Holy shit.
(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:27, archived)

I was there not very long ago
I KNOW I should've stayed longer.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:28, archived)

mind your language, young man
you're not too big to go across my knee
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:28, archived)

actually thinking about it you probably are

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:29, archived)

Most of him will be fine.
just do it back end first so you don't have to try and lift his head.
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Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:30, archived)

I went to school after the great storm of 86, even tho the TV said not too my mum was having none of it , school was closed

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mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:27, archived)

that's the one

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:29, archived)

oh wait, you mean the great storm of 1987?
that's not the one
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:35, archived)

Oh was it 87, soz

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mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:37, archived)

no harm done

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:40, archived)

no harm?
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Storm_of_1987#Impact
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:43, archived)

I'll never forget the night it got a bit windy and some stuff fell over.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:47, archived)

Every time I go on an adventure with my Dad
we get caught in a massive storm at the most inopportune moment. Hiking in the Polish mountains where the trail ahead just suffered an avalanche. Rowing a leaky wooden boat into the middle of a lake. Piloting a barge up the Caen Hill locks. Fucker's a bloody storm magnet.
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:48, archived)

It builds character.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:53, archived)

so does dungeons and dragons m8
but I'm not playing that with my old man
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:55, archived)

Your old nan played with my dragon in her dungeon.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:57, archived)

I ate your nan like a grue m8

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:00, archived)

^scaly

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Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:01, archived)

I think your dad is putting you in danger in the hope you'll die.

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:01, archived)

more like the other way round
when he checks out, I'll be minted.
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:08, archived)

Once it got so hot in France that it burnt my neck.
I didn't like it.
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:50, archived)

being caught in a blizzard doing my paper round
£10 a week for this shit? Get fucked.
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$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:54, archived)

you can't expect any more than that if it takes you a week to deliver the papers

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:55, archived)

I had to setup base camp near a park before completing it

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$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:58, archived)

Some cunt dog bit my tyre half-way through my paperound.

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Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:55, archived)

never had a problem with dogs

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$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:59, archived)

GS

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:02, archived)

defo

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$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:02, archived)

There was a flood once when I was on holiday in Spain.
Some lads were liloing down the street.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:00, archived)

classic lads!
I bet they had cans of carling as well
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$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:01, archived)

Spanish carling. Carlingo?

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:02, archived)

quite fancy a bottle of Estrella now

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$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:04, archived)

Is it too early to start drinking?

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Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:09, archived)

not in this heat

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$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:10, archived)

Carlito, surely?

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:08, archived)

^ Benny Blanco from the Bronx

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:09, archived)

Be cool, ese

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:17, archived)

Carlos, no?

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$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:09, archived)

willy willy bum bum

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$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:10, archived)

we had a flood at our infant school once
best day ever
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:09, archived)

^ peed his pants

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$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:09, archived)

no actually that was a different day

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:10, archived)

all what hot weather in the south?

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:13, archived)

yeah mate
get yourself down here. Party 24/7 at the minute.
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$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:14, archived)

This *points*
Fucking 25 degrees up in this motherfucker
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:15, archived)

It drizzled Saturday on my way to the pub , I didn't have a pacamac

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mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:16, archived)

not even a cagoule?

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:16, archived)

Nothing, and when I walked into the pub some joker said raining out, and people laughed, I nearly cried

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mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:21, archived)

the world can be so cruel

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$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:27, archived)

When did it become acceptable to mock somebody who is ever so slightly wet, disgraceful if you ask me , but I never cried, it was the drizzle from my eye lashes

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mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:32, archived)

I carry an emergency poncho for just such occasions.
It's fluorescent yellow for visibility. I never get laughed at.
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Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:42, archived)

Name some gay TV programme reboots.
Now that Sue Perkins has got some time on her hands, she can do a lesbian cookery show called Can't Cock, Won't Cock.
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:31, archived)

She can't
and won't
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:31, archived)

The Hairy Dykers

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$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:32, archived)

Man, you are the fucking best

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:32, archived)

The Fairy Bikers

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:32, archived)

Cuntyfile

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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:33, archived)

oh yeah. this is going to be a great thread, i can feel it

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:33, archived)

hey, come on now
let's see what happens
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$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:34, archived)

He's SO negative

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:34, archived)

aha, but what i said was actually very positive and there's no way to discern tone if voice in text
so all the negativity comes from you!

i win
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:36, archived)

too clever for me, man

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:37, archived)

~~very~~ HIV
~~and there's no way to discern tone if voice in text~~
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:37, archived)

can words have diseases?

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:39, archived)

yours do m8

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:47, archived)

just stick back and remember when Stone Cold Steve Austin
stone cold stunned the entire McMahon family
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$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:35, archived)

stick? gay phone
iBone lol
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$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:36, archived)

i've already stuck my back
now what?
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:39, archived)

not sure

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$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:39, archived)

eastbenders
home and a gay
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:35, archived)

Homo Improvement

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:36, archived)

marmite motorway patrol

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:38, archived)

Fudge Judy
Hmm
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:39, archived)

uphill gardener's world
i don't feel good about this. might go for lunch and come back to a fewer shit thread
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:43, archived)

good idea

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:43, archived)

G.A.Y Don't You?

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:34, archived)

Michael Palin's Pole to Polari

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:35, archived)

Eggheads

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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:35, archived)

Straight Eye for the Queer Guy
in which floppy-haired benders get a grade 4 and a Hugo Boss polo shirt every single episode
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:35, archived)

The Onion did an article once about "Straight Men's Fashion",
with a photo of a catwalk and some ordinary-looking bloke in jeans and a T-shirt.
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:37, archived)

Did they?

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:37, archived)

Yeh.
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:39, archived)

wow, look at that

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:40, archived)

sapphic and steel

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:36, archived)

The Schlicking Forecast

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:36, archived)

Dock The Week

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:36, archived)

cock the Weak

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$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:38, archived)

oh
no
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:38, archived)

oh
yes
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$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:39, archived)

NewsSound

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:38, archived)

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