What was the last thing you sniffed?
Lava lamps, cool or bent?

Do you like your family?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 8:12, 180 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

It somehow becomes acceptable, once one is a parent
to sniff a baby's bottom in order to ascertain whether it has shit in its nappy or not. So probably my daughter's arse. Kinky eh?

I used to have a lava lamp in the mid 90s, it was well cool.

My family are lovely, of course I like them.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 8:22, Reply)

So there are more threads than people posting?
Ah well, I'm about due to catch up on some work...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 8:28, Reply)

Wife and daughter; yes. Inlaws; some of them, my parents and sister; no - they're a dreadful bunch of cunts I have nothing to do with.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 8:43, Reply)

Go on then Battered
Tell us all about why you parents and sister are such terrible cunts.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:00, Reply)

The clue's in the username.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:02, Reply)

They dipped him in a mixture of eggs, flour and milk?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:07, Reply)

LTI

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:09, Reply)

Right on the button.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:09, Reply)

I only hope that they didn't roll him in breadcrumbs.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:10, Reply)

They used to keep the biscuit tin on the top shelf

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:03, Reply)

Poor little Battered.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:08, Reply)

top bottom
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:09, Reply)

I've read this as you sniffing your family
Which of your in-laws smelled the best?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:16, Reply)

you need to delete this thread and kill yourself, ok?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 8:51, Reply)

Officially less shit than you though spakkers

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 8:57, Reply)

I demand a recount!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 8:59, Reply)

I demand you sod off and stop being a tedious prick but we don't always get what we want.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:02, Reply)

I demand you stop being a fat nonce, but that's never gonna happen is it?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:05, Reply)

You have a kid right... Yummy

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:08, Reply)

set the example Nakers, there's a good boy.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 8:57, Reply)

I was in York again yesterday and you didn't come and see me, i'm beginning to think you don't like me
also the air-con in the train was broken so had to sweat it out for 2 hrs on the way home
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:00, Reply)

Pssssst, no one likes you. Except poppet and she's mental.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:02, Reply)

Not true, th Naked_ape fan club also contains Swipe and Sportscow, plus me and Monty are secret best buds

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:03, Reply)

+ with a cape.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:05, Reply)

Monty is a buffoon, swipe loves all the gays and I'm ashamed of sc.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:06, Reply)

I'm ashamed of me too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:12, Reply)

HEY.
I resent your implications on my sanity based purely on my humourous preferences. It's not my fault you're a boring, unfunny arsebiscuit.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:06, Reply)

*high fives*
I've just taught mini ape to high five
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:08, Reply)

*high fives bemusedly*

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:10, Reply)

I like it most when you tell us about how ill you've been, got anymore stories?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:11, Reply)

Yeah sure I do.
One time, I was on this comedy website, yeah, and there was this one really tedious cunt who kept hassling me and it made me so depressed I thought about sending him a suicide gaz and then I realised that only twats do that so I stayed alive just to spite him.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:14, Reply)

This is far too emo for me. You should make friends ith AA and listen to deep and meaningful tunes

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:15, Reply)

I like him.
But then, I like you too. I keep a collection of bent spastics.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:07, Reply)

*adds to fan club mailing list*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:08, Reply)

You like me too, and I'm not sure I'm a bent spastic.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:08, Reply)

Sorry to be the bearer, and all that...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:09, Reply)

I have you on 2.0 is why.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:06, Reply)

The milk
It was off

Lava lamps are cool

My family are ace
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:11, Reply)

Morning Sporters
are were
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:13, Reply)

What have you done to his family?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:14, Reply)

molested them with his cow horns.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:16, Reply)

Sexy!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:17, Reply)

inorite?

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:20, Reply)

Of course
*engages pandatron*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:22, Reply)

Morning Ape
I am glum today. One of my best mates has just found that his leukemia has returned :o(
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:17, Reply)

Insufficient postage?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:18, Reply)

Yes
Typical Post Office - took 15 years to return to sender
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:19, Reply)

Oh man that sucks hard, hope they can kill it again.
interestingly i learnt yesterday that to donate "bone marrow" they no longer need to drill into your pelvis, but simply take blood. More people should know this so that they can sign up to be a doner
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:20, Reply)

kebablols

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:21, Reply)

The chilli sauce is the bit that hurts

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:22, Reply)

Is not how it's spelt?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:24, Reply)

see below

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:29, Reply)

oh, o

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:30, Reply)

I am on the bone marrow donor list already
I also give blood and am on the organ donation register

organ donation sex offenders
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:22, Reply)

I donated my organ to your mum just last night

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:24, Reply)

She was after a spleen

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:33, Reply)

I'm embarrassed now

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:43, Reply)

I've only got two strikes left - first time I tried to donate blood I went into shock.
In Aus they have a "Three strikes policy". If your body doesn't cope with donating blood while you're in the process of donating more than 3 times, you're banned from donating as you're seen to be too "at risk" to continue being a donor.

I'm registered as a full organ donor though. When I cark it, whatever is left and useful can be given to those who need it more.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:26, Reply)

I keep missing the donation times
Must sort this next time
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:34, Reply)

I call dibs on the tits and fanny.
Double dibs times inifinity.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:43, Reply)

Gonz, you're not aussie, you wouldn't get jack shit from me.
Also. Actually, never mind. I don't want to know why you want my lady parts.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:46, Reply)

Because he's a massive virgin perv

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:46, Reply)

Fuckin hell, why doesn't he just PAY someone then?

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:48, Reply)

My and me mate have got £15 between us, we need £1.90 each to catch the bus home.... so thats £11.20.
What can we get for that?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:50, Reply)

A patronising smile and "try again later".

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:51, Reply)

Oh good, two double vodkas and a happy meal it is, then.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:53, Reply)

Wait a sec, hold up here, you have to be aussie to recieve body spares from dead people?
Is this something to do with the proximity to asia and their billionare's pentient for killing people to steal body parts?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:49, Reply)

If you're in australia, and you're needing spare parts from dead people, if you're not a permanent resident or citizen I believe you're an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:51, Reply)

I think one of us just had a stroke 'cus those last few words make no sense to me.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:54, Reply)

An Inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis is a complicated way of saying "Screwed".
ie; you're screwed.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:56, Reply)

No it isn't.
See below.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:57, Reply)

Oh good, that was what I was looking for.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:06, Reply)

I think you mean the past tense of the word which describes the use of an inclined place wrapped helically around an axis
Also, most decent screws are double threaded so it's actually 2 inclined planes.

EDIT - because what you described was just screw.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:57, Reply)

Stop ruining the magic.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Typical Australian "Yeah, it's about right, it'll do"
That's why your opera house is so curved, the architect couldn't be bothered to go and get a ruler.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:59, Reply)

and they stole the Tyne and Wear bridges

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:00, Reply)

And stretched it.
Actually walking over that bridge is one of my favourite things to do.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:04, Reply)

Even better, present tense, means I didn't miss it.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:07, Reply)

I'm ruled out of blood donation now
I've played with too many bad things in my lab for them to be comfortable.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:16, Reply)

Some random tube passenger
I had a lava lamp, a proper Matmos one, but then I didn't use it for a year and next time I tried the wax didn't do anything interesting. :(

My brother's alright, see him fairly regularly; Dad's OK; sister lives in Germany and we both prefer it that way. Got loads of aunts, uncles and cousins I hardly ever see.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:21, Reply)

Not another victim of The Curse of Off Topic?
Good job Quentin is not around.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:27, Reply)

what curse?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:30, Reply)

Dead mothers society

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:33, Reply)

It's been a fair few years
and it was early-onset Alzheimers so she wasn't really there for a couple of years before that.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:49, Reply)

Slow today so i'll actually answer the question
mini apes bum, it stank.

lava lamps - i had one when i was at school, but over used it and ruined the wax.

Dad is lovely, but quite old so we were never going to be "mates", mum's ok great cook, bit childish sometimes, Sister is ace, brother cool, but don't see him much

Father in law is ace and is taking me skiing at New Year, MIL is a bitch, we get on but she's horrid to my wife, sis in law is ace.

never see uncles cousins etc and all grandparents are dead.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:42, Reply)

The particularly offensive smell my arse has been producing this morning
Yep, get on very well with all of them.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:43, Reply)

Do you have daily seance?
MORNING
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:44, Reply)

Even your dead mother?

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:45, Reply)

mine was at least a little more subtle...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:46, Reply)

Who needs subtlety when you're Australian?
NO ONE.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:46, Reply)

First officelol of the day

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:48, Reply)

Morning HH
I see we're now both members of that most exclusive of clubs, the "Dozer got upset with us on the internet" club.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:53, Reply)

Morning
Seems that way, I got 2.0ed because I stopped raising to the bait
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:57, Reply)

HH just needs to upset Darth now

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:57, Reply)

I get on Ok with darth
*I think*
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Darth isn't upset with me
After he met Chompy he had a proper road to damascus moment and stopped being upset with me. I bet he'd even be my facebook friend if I asked.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Just so he could delete you again
I'm pleased that DF and Chompy has resolved their differences
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:59, Reply)

Awesome, they're forever care bear friends now

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:00, Reply)

I add Al to my fb friends each day
and then as soon as he accepts my request, I unfriend him again.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:02, Reply)

It's like chinese water torture.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:04, Reply)

First Andrew, now Dozer and adam in the past
how long is the list of people upset with you online Al?

+ Captain Placid
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:58, Reply)

It's this long:
Andrew
Dozer
Adam
Captain Placid (his real name is James)
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Who is Adam?
The frisbee guy from /talk?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:01, Reply)

Frisbee prick

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:03, Reply)

Jim hactually
i know this because he sent me a scary gaz yesterday
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:01, Reply)

Has he managed to rescue you from a life of slavery?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:03, Reply)

i believe he's got the boot again and is now drunk most days
rambling incoherently about precious heartbeats and his awkward bastard routine at work dressed up as some pseudo intellectual socialism or some shit.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:06, Reply)

I thought he had a FANTASTIC NEW JOB?
with EVEN MORE MONEY and he had STUCK TWO FINGERS UP TO HIS OLD BOSS and STOLEN ALL HIS OLD CLIENTS?
Come to think of it, he does seem to mention that it is time to take Pooflake to the pub each day at around elevenish. That doesn't sound like the activity of an employed person.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:10, Reply)

It sounds like the activity of a bum.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:13, Reply)

Just think you too could be a loser down the boozer with placid and pooflake LIKE EVERY DAY
the stories those guys must have
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:15, Reply)

What did it say?
Publish it on here, as I said to Swipe yesterday, if you write it in a gaz, you should be prepared to see it on the board.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:03, Reply)

^^ THIS ^^

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:04, Reply)

But that will mean the board is flooded with cock gazzes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:07, Reply)

mind you, i can imagine there is a lot of sweaty filth bandied around gaz boxes
that never needs to see the light of day.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:07, Reply)

Why would anyone do that?
I really don't get it, I'm sure I'm as curious as the next man about the size of your tits, but I'm not actually going to send you a message with photo of my penis and ask you to reciprocate, because it's just fucking weird and wrong.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:12, Reply)

I don't understand how someone can think to themselves...
"I will send a photo of my penis to this person on the internet, and she'd eaither (a) be so over come with lust that she will instantly show me a photo of her tits and vagina, or (b), she'll be so bemused that someone would be so forward, that she would do the same, or (c) She seems like a good person, and its only fair if I show her mine, she'll show me hers, even though there has been no prior comunication.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:19, Reply)

oh dear i'm off on another 2.0 adventure
Hi
I hope you don't think I believe employers 'get one over on me'. I truly think that, in an equitable exchange of value, both sides have to understand that there's value onboth sides. I stand by my 'freebies devalue the rest of the deal' idea.
BTW, just finished a meeting with my ex-employers (German) and they understand/understood my stance perfectly and have agreed to pay what they owe. If only we, as a nation understood the equitable exchange of value, there'd be feweer people calling their loved ones saying 'Gotta work late, kiss the kids for me'
YMMV

Jim
(Captain Placid is part meccano, Tue 14 Aug, 20:49, ignore, delete, archive, reply)
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:08, Reply)

I don't understand this gaz.
Is he saying we should all be Germans?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:10, Reply)

No he's saying that he's really annoying and nobody can put up with him, which is why his wife kicked him out.
he's reduced to pooflake wanking him off whilst looking the other way and pretending it was his daughter instead
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:21, Reply)

What the fuck does YMMV mean?
Also, that's a colossal pile of shit, like TMB said yesterday, most people will have it in their contracts that they are required to complete tasks rather than just working exact hours. If you want to work exact hours, you do a minimum wage secretarys job, if you want proper money then you have to accept that it comes at a cost.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:11, Reply)

Reading between the lines
It sounds as though his ex-employers told him the same thing.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:12, Reply)

I was going to make the point yesterday
that the "not having hours specified in a contract" is usually directly correlated to "actually being paid a decent amount of money" but I couldn't think of a way of doing it that didn't come across as "ner ner ner I get paid a lot" ... so I didn't. But it's true.

The other point that Captain P massively misses, because he's too busy getting stressed about the negatives, is that "no specified hours" works both ways. If it's sunny and I want to spend the day in a pub beer garden rather than the office, or go to the beach, or nip off skiing for a day in the winter, I can. Without asking permission or taking a day off or lying that I'm ill.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:25, Reply)

Quite,
the way it works in that way is, if you've got too much work to cope with then a decent manager will recognise this and get more staff to help, or if they can't afford more staff but the work is still piling up, then your business is flawed in some way and will fail.

Conversaly if there is too little for you to do and you end up being able to take loads of slack days off, then you get made redundant because your job clearly isn't needed.

Most people probably have a balance where some days you're really busy and end up working late, and other days you get to knock off early to make up for it.

Swipe is clearly the exception with her stupid long hours, but she gets paid millions of pounds so she can just suck it up.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:31, Reply)

Couple of my friends also choose, with their jobs
to work 14+ hours a day for 6 days a week for massive reward, with the intention of retiring at 40. Not how I'd do it, but I can see why you might. As you say, it's all about balance.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:35, Reply)

What really really fucking does my sweed in, is when people ask me to make a website like facebook and make millions.
Or when they say "I'm going to show my boss, I'm going to do the exact same thing as I do for my boss, only on my own, and pocket all the money".

I've never meet anyone who's said that who wasn't what I call a Life Loser. It doesn't click that it takes a team of people to make a buisness, and it takes investment. Sure, their boss gets the profits, but they don't see their boss mortgaging the family home, or staying up worrying all night that paying their employees comes first. Or clients means he's the first not to draw a wage.

People don't realise how much a high end website takes, it takes teams of people these days.

I came up with a great annology that I'm going to say to the next person "Tell me your favorite film.... tell me the first scene... what colour is the carpet? what colour shirt is the actor wearing? What is on the wall?..... now THAT is the difference between some drunk idea in the pub and making a working project".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:28, Reply)

Oooo, I like that analogy.
I also like that analogy contains the word anal.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:32, Reply)

Anal is to do with bums, tee hee.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:36, Reply)

does it?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:37, Reply)

It also contains the word log, which can sometimes refer to poo.
What a fun word.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:39, Reply)

And it's an anagram of "GAY LOAN"

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:58, Reply)

Gonz,
people are genuinely stupid. I used to be a travelling relief manager for Fullers, going in to failing pubs and holding them (basically, keeping the doors open, and the beer flowing) until they could find a new permanent manager. 90% of these pubs were ruined by people who had made a bit of money and decided they would get a pub lease as "a retirement project" a nice little village pub for them. They failed to realise that running a pub for yourself is actual work.
it's not just Life Losers who have no grasp of how much work goes in to stuff.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:34, Reply)

When I worked in a pub, the people that ran it were complete fucking idiots
the stupid thing was, the pub was raking in money, every night we would be full of people eating and drinking, weekends were crazy busy from open until close, and the owners did all the chefing and they knew what they were doing there, but they must have been on the worst contract because they were hardly making any money at all, despite all the time and energy they were putting into it. Silly really.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:41, Reply)

customers don't automatically equal profit.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:45, Reply)

True
but all the staff were on minimum wage, the food was relatively pricey, as was the booze. If they couldn't make it turn a profit then it jsut proves my "idiot" theory even more.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:48, Reply)

totally,
this seems to be the problem in the places i used to go in to. They'd have the sales, but had absolutely no idea how to turn it in to profit. They'd be paying too much for stock, or there would be massive wastage, or lack of knowledge about pricing dishes for a good GP, too many staff on when it's quiet, energy bills. All sorts of stuff. or the staff are on the rob. or the manager is on the rob to avoid having to pay to the pub company.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:52, Reply)

Yup, totally.
I think the worst ones are those who won't tell me the idea incase I steal it. I normally just say "Ok, then, never mind" and they act disgruntled when I don't insist they tell me. Or if I say "Draw up an NDA then", then they say they can't afford the solicitor's fees.

I don't get how someone can geninunly believe they've got an idea that'll make them rich beyond millions, but won't even put £100 in a solicitor's pocket to protect this idea. Yet normally they'd still buy loto tickets.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:43, Reply)

I'll send you one of my NDAs
just change the names of the parties. They won't even need £100 then.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:45, Reply)

That makes sense.
I may be a bit naive here but in terms of a NDA, what's the difference between a solicitor drawn up one and just a piece of paper signed by both people saying "I won't disclose information I was told on X date by X person"
(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 11:00, Reply)

About £100

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 11:03, Reply)

tangles has it right on the head, here.
/specifically, you probably need it to say certain things about foreground and background knowledge really, but I've signed one before with a Norwegian company that is only 3 lines long and says "I won't tell if you don't" or words to that effect. So that will do.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 11:08, Reply)

I don't know a lot about web design,
but i'm guessing if you want to have someone make you a website, you sort of need to tell them what the website is for?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:46, Reply)

Yup, its pretty key.
And a proper website, at the sort of level I'm at, requires a whole team, it needs all of the following, which are full time careers in their own.... the first one in each line is the main job, and the ones next to them are sub jobs of them that sometimes are taken care of the main person.

- Designer / Front End Developer / UI Expert / UX Expert
- Back End Developer / Database Engineer / Server Achectect
- Copy Writer / Content Editor / SEO Specalist / Social Media Specalist.
- Project Manager / Client Manager.

Plus once you've got a site, you kindda gotta keep it running.

The most disheartening thing about my job is when I do something stunningly amazing and the client won't put content in 'cus they can't be fucked/are too busy.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:53, Reply)

although,
i've heard, if you punch the monitor hard enough when you're looking at a website, the person who owns the domain name falls out of their chair.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:59, Reply)

I love those people who are always saying "This place would fall apart if I ever left"
In my experience those places are usually a lot happier and more efficient when someone finally calls their bluff and gets rid of the miserable old cunt.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:36, Reply)

Unless those people are actually RSJs
I think they're lying.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:39, Reply)

I like the idea that one of the RSJs just gets fed up one day and fucks off.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:41, Reply)

"you've NEVER appreciated me!"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:42, Reply)

It's a "well known fact", that your own farts don't smell unpleasant to you. I disagree.
Alt alt,my family, we meet at funerals, and promise to keep in touch, then don't, the only reason I keep any contact with my sister is due to a tricky probate case.
Oh, lava lamps, amusing for a while, then irritating; like Carry On movies.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:57, Reply)

My farts smell like death

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:58, Reply)

*something about gas and jews*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:04, Reply)

b st
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:59, Reply)

*tickles*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 9:59, Reply)

why did i read that as "cool or bert"?
i have a pink lava lamp because it's pink, but i never turn it on.

or the lamp, haha.

yes, my family are awesome.

oh, and i sniffed my own wrist a second ago, to see if i need any more perfume for my meeting (jo malone "red roses")
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:05, Reply)

How much perfume do you need for a meeting?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:22, Reply)

depends how many clients you've already "met with"

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:24, Reply)

i sniffed the bicycle seat of a pretty girl last night.
But not for the reason you're thinking.

I broke my lavalamp, I never bought a new one, they're not very cool, or very efficient as a light source.

I like my family, they are lovely.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:07, Reply)

An old friend got pulled into the cop shop, and shouted at for this, for "jokingly" sniffing the seat of a youngish girl.
This was in the days when cops should shout at you for little reason. Now they just hit you with truncheons, or shoot you through the head if you're Brazilian.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:13, Reply)

crikey,
Cops in the old days were right poofters.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:22, Reply)

The perfume on my scarf as I put it on this morning
as an apology to my nose for the off milk it had sniffed about 15 minutes before. I'm sure my fridge isn't keeping things properly cold.

EDIT - cool, although I've got enough tat without adding to it, and some of them are ok. Although I had a friend request on facebook from my mother last night, and I always swore the day she joined was the day I closed my account...
(berk, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:09, Reply)

I got a blank e-mail from you the other day.
I presume that means you got the books alright
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:23, Reply)

That's weird
I assure you it had words in when I sent it. Mainly along the lines of thanks, how are you etc.
So yes, I did get them ok thank you. I have lots and lots of things to read on holiday now.
(berk, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:28, Reply)

Good stuff.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:32, Reply)

Oh god, I just called in to ask if I can have a work-from-home day and my head went right out the window.
I couldn't name what boss I was speaking too, what the client I've been working on for the last week, where i was up to on the project, the other project I'm supposed to be supporting or our logging system.

My mind was just a complete blank from everything.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:12, Reply)

I sniffed the washing straight out of the machine.
Lava lamps - never owned one so I am ambivalent on the subject.

Family's fine, we don't see each other nearly enough.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:13, Reply)

hereditary blindness?
That's a tough one.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:23, Reply)

It takes an awful lot of wanking to make blindness hereditary, WP.
I think we should salute his family's mastubartory efforts.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:26, Reply)

by wanking over photos of his family?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:30, Reply)

It's the gift that never stops giving.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:30, Reply)

My astro trainers, this morning
to see if it was safe to put them in the same compartment of a bag as actual clothes. Verdict - Maybe not.

My family are OK. I'm quite fond of them.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:15, Reply)

My bottles of aftershave.
I went for Cerutti Play over Givenchy Gentleman.

I have a proper Matmos lava lamp. Chicks don't dig them, sad times.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:32, Reply)

are you one of those blokes that sits in the toilets at clubs,
taking a quid off people to wash their hands for them and spray some aftershave on their crotch chanting "freshen up, freshen up for the ladies?"
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:35, Reply)

He's one of those blokes that sits in the toilets on the other side of that inviting looking hole in the wall.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:38, Reply)

The first time I ran into one of those "hand washers"
I was about 22 and completely trashed in some place in Islington. I believe my response to his query about assistance in hand washing was something like "I've spent 20 years learning how not to piss on my own hands and I know where my cock's been so ... nope, ta"

I am ALL the class.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:39, Reply)

I was sick on one once,
he was not very happy about that. I gave him a pound though.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:42, Reply)

WIN.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:44, Reply)

I paid with bottle caps once, the toilet monkey was not impressed

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:45, Reply)

Yes I too have noticed that they are always black, but there's no need to be racist about them

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:54, Reply)

NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD
NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD NEW THREAD
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:56, Reply)

not very subtle nakkers

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Aug 2012, 10:59, Reply)

I don't like to leave anyone behind

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Aug 2012, 11:00, Reply)