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# In response to the wonderful BBC headline of 'stabbing burglars will be legal'

Click for big, and News
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:33, archived)
# have you got an instruction sheet on what do when being buggled?
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:36, archived)
# In that case
I think you're allowed to kill the radio star.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:38, archived)
#
g
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:38, archived)
# That gives me the horn.
(Pie of Meat ___°¬¯O¯____\o/_____/\_,____Y¯¯Y, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:44, archived)
# You've got to accept the ups and
Downes
(I helped save b3ta! Andy_R At the third stroke, the time will be precisely, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:47, archived)
# when being buggled
kill the radio star

and video it
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:02, archived)
# hahaha
weird headline

I bet people will start leaving their doors open now just to tempt burglars into getting stabbed
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:37, archived)
# with treasure left in clear view
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:41, archived)
# Awesome idea!
Like a fly trap, but for scum.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:52, archived)
# haha
CHAV MURDERING TO BE LEGALISED
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:08, archived)
# I have often championed the idea of chav death squads.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:10, archived)
# Oh dear gods yes.
Yes please.

Please - can't we just cordon off the council estates and firebomb them all?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:28, archived)
# As a child of council estates
I feel compelled to point out that it's a state of mind not a matter of geography.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 14:04, archived)
# Yes yes yes
Now be quiet and clean my shoes, there's a good lad.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 14:25, archived)
# *cleans shoes badly with spit*
*steals ankle bracelets*
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 14:35, archived)
# That's no ankle bracelet
it's his electronic tag
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 16:31, archived)
# At least now they have a matching set
(annhialus hasn't had an accident since, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 20:07, archived)
# The silly part.
This is already the law - all that needs to be done is to issue guidelines to clarify charging to the CPS.
(speedevil, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 2:43, archived)
# Just think of all the money tax payers will save!
pfffft
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:37, archived)
#

if I caught anyone in my house they'd get fucked with a bucky bottle...
then it would be cracked over their head.
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:39, archived)
# ahhhh, the beautiful northern act of courting
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:41, archived)
# I tried to click..
But I couldn't as my mouse wouldn't stop laughing.
(Vinnie Strokes Got bummed on, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 20:37, archived)
# 4 d-cell Maglite in easy reach FTW.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:42, archived)
# This
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:50, archived)
# I'm not bragging
but I have a *5* D cells Maglite, so there.
(I helped save b3ta! Matth knows what yellow snow tastes like, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 18:42, archived)
# I'd leave the foreplay and get right to the fuckin'
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:43, archived)
# Precisely this.
Anyone who claims otherwise deserves everything they get.

You break into my place, you declare yourself to be beyond the law, and therefore should have no protection from it.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:50, archived)
# This too
I've got no desire to kill or badly hurt anyone, in my house illegally or not, but if someone is in my house illegally chances are I'm going to need to hurt them to persuade them to leave, and I should have the right to do so. And sadly people aren't hard to kill by accident - if they die it should be legally their fault not mine.

Anyone who feels differently must simply be luckier than me. I know for a fact that if I had to confront an intruder in my house and repel them with violence, the fucker would die. I'm just that unlucky in those sorts of situations.
(I helped save b3ta! Throat And Ice Pie I see dem tatties dere., Wed 29 Jun 2011, 16:29, archived)
# Might I suggest emailing this to the daily fail
I think it's a campaign they would really get behind
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:41, archived)
# it doesn't state that all burglars are immigrants on benefits, they wouldn't go with it
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:43, archived)
# But everybody knows they all are.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:43, archived)
# Dirty fuckers coming over here improving our country
who the fuck do they think they are!
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:49, archived)
# All property is theft, actually.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:47, archived)
# No it's fucking not.
I paid for all this shit!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:09, archived)
# Actually we'll ALL be paying for it
WITH THE DEATH OF THE PLANET!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:32, archived)
# Please see sig
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:56, archived)
# Right, where's your girly purse?
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:43, archived)
# Thieves rush in where angels fear to tread
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 29 Jun 2011, 15:43, archived)
# No, fools, Neil, it's fools.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 15:51, archived)
# if memory serves me it's ok to pre-emptivley assult someone if you belive them to be a threat to you
in the immediate future.

prooving it in court is another matter entirely.

i myself favour a handy set of global knives on a magnetic holder in my kitchen along with a razor sharp katana next to my desk.

i would think that blunt force trauma from a cast iron skillet pan would be more easy to defend against in court as 'it was the first thing that come to hand when i confrounted them'.

also, WOO! that is a splendid pic.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:53, archived)
# so what your saying is I should move the golf club from next to my bed and go with the classic spanging pan
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:56, archived)
# the golf club will restrict you in the confined spaces in your house.
a smaller close quarters weapon will serve you better.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:06, archived)
# Use your shirt
like Jason Statham does in every fucking Transporter movie.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:18, archived)
# *ponders*
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm :D

yummy! Good lad for doing it.
(I helped save b3ta! camp freddy well, would you look at that!, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 14:27, archived)
# There's more than one?!
How could I have missed this?
(I helped save b3ta! M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 14:28, archived)
# Judging from the case for invading Iraq
I'd agree.

This is why I punch old ladies in the street - just in case they're Al Q'aida operatives in disguise.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:56, archived)
# HAHA!
I mean, you bugger!
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:58, archived)
# If a stranger gets close enough
to be cut in half by a katana in your house, it`s most likely because they were posing a threat to you.

It could be vallid to relatives, your mother in law, and these people.
(Monocromatico Lady Godiva's horse, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:00, archived)
# If you can weild a katana in your house then you're lucky.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 21:24, archived)
# utterly brilliant, HT!
I'm guessing, however, at somepoint in the future, someone is going to try and get away with a murder using this, or at least, someone is going to be accused that it was murder, rather than defence. One of those vocal groups of people who love a crusade will start a campaign to get the law repealed and some newspaper/media group will start blowing it all up out of proportion and we'll eventually lose the original ruling. We'll, by law, have to let someone burgle us, then fill out the apporpriate forms afterwards. /pessimist_blog

(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:56, archived)
# Don't forget the facebook petitions and the herd instinct groups.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:57, archived)
# yup, all that too....
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:58, archived)
# Facebook status updates cure cancer.
Or so you'd fucking believe, judging by the amount of "Copy this to your status for an hour to support the cause" I've seen.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:59, archived)
# Modern era social networking equals antisocial living.
I detest all of it. You're out with your mates in the pub, they are all updating their FB or tweeting or some shit. Errr..lads...we're in the pub together yet we're not.

/rant
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:10, archived)
# tl;dr
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:17, archived)
# socialist
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:20, archived)
# Shut up, hippy.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:22, archived)
# ts;dr
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:23, archived)
# OMG. I loves ya
(I helped save b3ta! The_Commander_of_Skips wears his sunglasses at night, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 1:13, archived)
# I'm not sure that will be the case, Steve.
Since money is more important than people (yes - it is), it's in the insurance companies' interest for people to tackle people and it to go to court, where it will be a civil matter. If we let people burgle us and then fill out the forms, it will require huge amounts of compensation etc, and they won't be at all happy about that.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:58, archived)
# ah, yes, but who has the greater influence, the Insurance companies, or a mass of activists with media backing?
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:00, archived)
# The insurance companies.
No one likes the hippies - they're all sanctimonious wankers.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:01, archived)
# no one like insurance companies either... ;D
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:03, archived)
# They like their money, though.
That's the difference - which would you rather have, a protest song sung by some dirty, workshy skank about how it's all so unfair and capitalism equals CRAPitalism actually, or a nice, new, shiny computer?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:06, archived)
# Anything that is shiny wins in my book.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:12, archived)
# Exxxxxcellent ... !
*unzips*
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:16, archived)
# I am no bum.
*hands loose change back*
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:23, archived)
# A deal's a deal.
Now shut up and assume the position.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:24, archived)
# Once public opinion is against a current or prospective piece of legislation or government position/event etc etc, and the media has it's grubby, fat little fingers in the mix, stirring it up and using every opportunity to stick the knife in,
consessions end up being made, surely shirley? They had to back out of the NHS changes and reassess it
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:18, archived)
# Admittedly this government are a bunch of spineless little toads, yes.
But in the greater scheme of things, money talks, always will, and rightly so.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:19, archived)
# More of this sort of thing!
Woo!
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:10, archived)
# If anyone
broke into my house they would probably leave me some stuff from other break-ins out of sympathy.
(I helped save b3ta! TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:11, archived)
# Nothing wrong with being a minimalist ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:13, archived)
# That's what I
keep telling my bank. No sense of humour, those people.
(I helped save b3ta! TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:15, archived)
# ha ha I did a double take at the BBC RSS feed earlier this morning
when it said "Stabbing burglars, now legal. Ken Clarke"
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:43, archived)
# Awwww...
The little doggie with the chav arm looks so pleased with himself.
(Chewy , masticating since 1978., Wed 29 Jun 2011, 15:40, archived)
# I for one am looking forward to repelling hordes of burglars with a conveniently placed George Forman grill or something
without fear of prosecution
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 29 Jun 2011, 15:47, archived)
# Like some sort of heated bear trap?
I guess you could at least smell if someone broke in then.
(Beh3moth The devil's advocaat., Wed 29 Jun 2011, 16:56, archived)
# It's the least weapon-like appliance I could think of
maybe one of the metal ones, swung around by the power cord might stun a burglar enough to prevent him from stealing my TV.
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 29 Jun 2011, 17:16, archived)
# A loophole!
1. Invite your enemy round your house

2. Murder him completely TO DEATH

3. Tell the Rozzers "I caught him breaking in, dear Lord, and I had to strike him down to save the children. THINK OF THE CHILDREN!"

4. ???

5. Profit!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 17:28, archived)
# Oh, yeah, of course, nobody thought of that!!!!!!
I, myself, often invite people I have never met back to my home so that they can break a few locks, damage a few of my possessions and take some of the ones it took me longest to earn the money to pay for.
Heck! I even let some little scamps in to remove the pipes in the back garden in case they're worth a couple of quid they can pay to organised criminals for smack.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 21:33, archived)
# Great news
Now I can smash a burglar's head into a mush with my trusty rounders bat, without having to mess up my nice new garden shredder getting rid of the body. Ace! *

*Although getting rid of the body reduces the chance of retaliation by the deceased scumbag's family. Perhaps I'll mess up the shredder after all...
(I helped save b3ta! eXOBeX, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 21:43, archived)