Many Many Things
Before I had children I thought that crying was for southern nancies... Then I had children, and I cry at every fucking thing. I've also been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, and had a bit of therapy (many issues from an overbearing father); that's unblocked most emotional things. So, top 10 at the moment...
10) The first part of 'UP' - sobs with snot.
9) The end of 'Toy Story 3' - shivering gulping sobs.
8) When either of my children says 'I love you daddy' - silent dripping tears.
7) The end of 'Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence' - stunned silent dripping tears.
6) The soundtrack to 'Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence' - see above.
5) My wife talking about the song that Howard sings Bernadette, and then she gets teary - hugging shaking sobs.
4) 'The JCB Song' - Usually driving so quiet weeping.
3) Borrowing money from my parents because life has been shit this year - No eye contact, lots of wobbly lips.
2) "Daddy! My Daddy!" - can't talk, or breathe.
1) Thinking about all of these things, writing this list - gaspy, snotty and stupid.

No, I don't know why I did it to myself either.
(rockers74 killed a man in Reno just to watch him die., Mon 11 Aug 2014, 20:36, 40 replies)

You are so gay that there's no way on Earth that 'your' children are really 'yours'.
Your wife's been fucking a real man while you've been dreaming of cock and hanging around public lavatories.
AICMFP.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 11 Aug 2014, 20:46, closed)

well, that was a bit harsh

( rofl harris, Mon 11 Aug 2014, 21:30, closed)

→ mumsnet →
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Aug 2014, 21:58, closed)

not harsh enough in my book.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 11 Aug 2014, 22:07, closed)

← 4chan ←
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Aug 2014, 22:08, closed)

It's almost as if this week's QOTW was designed to flush out all the megagays

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 11 Aug 2014, 22:28, closed)

they hardly need flushing out
they'd post their wahwahboohoos if you asked them for their favourite Rowdy Roddy Piper fight.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Aug 2014, 22:34, closed)

I never liked Roddy Piper's fights, his talent was cutting promos and getting other people to cut promos.
I remember the one where Shaun Michaels ended the tag team partnership with Marty. I was inconsolable for a month after that incident and stills brings tears to my eyes*



*possibly all untrue.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 12 Aug 2014, 7:15, closed)

I still miss The Warrior

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 12 Aug 2014, 16:26, closed)

4 eva in r hearts - strong hearts not like his weak explody one

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 13 Aug 2014, 22:20, closed)

It did explode with a hell of a bang though

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 14 Aug 2014, 14:54, closed)

get prescribed some better drugs, you soppy wreck

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Aug 2014, 20:49, closed)

ignore these childless dried-out husks
and relax about it. you're not the only one.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Mon 11 Aug 2014, 21:53, closed)

he's not the only one on here with poorly managed mental health issues ... that's for damn fucking certain

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Aug 2014, 21:57, closed)

Clearly not.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Tue 12 Aug 2014, 0:41, closed)

I don't think this is an appropriate topic for "I know you are but what am I?" jokes.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 Aug 2014, 9:24, closed)

b3ta.com/questions/cryinggame/post2343962
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 11 Aug 2014, 22:10, closed)

I had not realised that having children completely robs you of your dignity

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 11 Aug 2014, 22:20, closed)

it does if a few fishy droplets of spunk are the only creative thing you've produced in your life

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Aug 2014, 22:23, closed)

Dignity is the first casualty of procreation.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 12 Aug 2014, 8:54, closed)

I find spunking on her face to be far more dignified.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 12 Aug 2014, 12:26, closed)

Not just your dignity,
but also your time, your life and your liberty. Ask Gary Glitter.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Tue 12 Aug 2014, 11:51, closed)

I don't think there's ever been a more appropriate time to say
MTFU, you quivering nancy
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Tue 12 Aug 2014, 9:56, closed)