Skateboard
circa 1978. Went downhill. Went too fast. Decides to jump off. Hit ground. Forward momentum too big. Turned somersault and hit lamppost, legs akimbo.

A couple of years ago I would have spent the time to craft this into something worth your time to read. Exactly the same story, but with a lot more detail and bit's that would, hopefully, make you smile or laugh.

Now? Not worth my time or energy. /Talk has won due to the inability of Rob/Chthonic/Scary Duck or any other mod to actually moderate QOTW. Appoint someone as mod who actually cares about QOTW. Who writes and contributes. And, for all that's Holy, not me - I'd swing the ban hammer with such abandon that you'd have nobody left. Not even me.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 13:32, 32 replies)

Cheers?
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 13:34, closed)

wah wah, qotw is not the way i want it to be

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 13:37, closed)

That is brilliant.
Almost better than Steve McDonald.
( Pig Bodine., Fri 8 Mar 2013, 14:19, closed)

^^what thingamagig said^^

(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 14:50, closed)

This has won the internet

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Sun 10 Mar 2013, 11:04, closed)

Quite right, your time is much better spent moaning about how mean /talk is.
And not even a "Cheers"? :(
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 13:52, closed)

I have ignored about ten people
and QOTW is quite readable again. There really aren't that many of the fuckwits.
(ubergeekian, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 13:54, closed)

you're missing out

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 14:04, closed)

you tedious windbag
Cheers.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 14:06, closed)

I for one think it's a loss
I feel a bit guilty as I certainly don't contribute much to B3TA, but I used to enjoy the well written story or two. From true tales to complete bollocks, if it made me smile I'd be happy.

Even the trolling can be funny if not taken too far, or becomes repetitive. Unfortunately it's no longer the case...
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 14:19, closed)

Ooof, sounds like some major butthurt right there
Cheers
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 14:20, closed)

Who's been hurting his bottom?

(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 18:19, closed)

You fucking wetty.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 14:31, closed)

I think it's a good indication of the demise of QOTW that my story about looking up a lass's skirt came fourth last week

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 14:53, closed)

Meh, whack 'em on ignore if they bother you, and post what you please. I'd imagine some will utilise their 1337 haxx0r skillz to reply anyhow, but at least you won't have to read it.

Illegitimi non carborundum.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 15:18, closed)

Pretty much.
I try to keep up with a few of the nicer and more interesting ones who have left via Facebook, but I do miss their stories in here.

That said, Ignore does make things more readable.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sat 9 Mar 2013, 3:27, closed)

Akimbo, eh?
How the hell did you get your legs to put their hands on your hips?
(An Alien sneezed on Bill Oddies binoculars, Sat 9 Mar 2013, 7:52, closed)

When
used as an adjective, you'd be correct. When used as an adverb it can be applied to legs or arms, splayed.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sat 9 Mar 2013, 8:17, closed)

splayed isn't an adverb. adverbs describe actions, and are normally suffixed with -ly
The primary definition of akimbo is hands on hips, the secondary definition is bent or crooked. Not splayed.

Cheers.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 9 Mar 2013, 8:35, closed)

Oh Dear
You're a porridge-wog (a Scot) so you're unqualified to speak about the English language. What was that poet you bang on about? Burns? He wrote this poem about you...

Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty
Wi bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an' chase thee,
Wi' murdering pattle.

I'm truly sorry man's dominion
Has broken Nature's social union,
An' justifies that ill opinion
Which makes thee startle
At me, thy poor, earth born companion
An' fellow mortal!

I doubt na, whyles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen icker in a thrave
'S a sma' request;
I'll get a blessin wi' the lave,
An' never miss't.

Thy wee-bit housie, too, in ruin!
It's silly wa's the win's are strewin!
An' naething, now, to big a new ane,
O' foggage green!
An' bleak December's win's ensuin,
Baith snell an' keen!

Thou saw the fields laid bare an' waste,
An' weary winter comin fast,
An' cozie here, beneath the blast,
Thou thought to dwell,
Till crash! the cruel coulter past
Out thro' thy cell.

That wee bit heap o' leaves an' stibble,
Has cost thee monie a weary nibble!
Now thou's turned out, for a' thy trouble,
But house or hald,
To thole the winter's sleety dribble,
An' cranreuch cauld.

But Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!

Still thou are blest, compared wi' me!
The present only toucheth thee:
But och! I backward cast my e'e,
On prospects drear!
An' forward, tho' I canna see,
I guess an' fear!
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sat 9 Mar 2013, 13:53, closed)

He wrote this one about you.
You're thick.
You're dull.
You don't know what an adverb is.
You'll die alone.
Cheers.
(comedy bully grrrr, Sat 9 Mar 2013, 14:29, closed)

Why is Legless saying that I'm a mouse?
I do like cheese, but I'm a primate, not a rodent.

What a peculiar fellow.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 9 Mar 2013, 18:06, closed)

Because he's thick and dull.
Just a guess like.
(comedy bully grrrr, Sat 9 Mar 2013, 19:47, closed)

He struggles with his own language.
:'(
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 9 Mar 2013, 19:48, closed)

actually Legless, I personally don't bang on about Burns.
And my degree's in English, so, you know, I'm better qualified to comment on the English language than you are. What gives this extra rofl is that knowledge of adverbs is primary school level stuff, so you really have no excuse, apart from having shit between your ears.

Oh yeah, I love how your bellendedness extends to thinking that everyone's as thick as you- do you really think I need to have you explain what a Porridge Wog is?

Cheers.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 9 Mar 2013, 17:15, closed)

*coff* second class*coff*

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sat 9 Mar 2013, 21:32, closed)

Still more than Legless has.
Even a jumped-up teuchter like me has a better command of his language.

Poor Legless, forever a prick :'(
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 9 Mar 2013, 22:26, closed)

You really are a first grade cunt.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 9 Mar 2013, 19:45, closed)

Nationality is meaningless
compared to prickishness of this magnitude.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sun 10 Mar 2013, 12:19, closed)

tl;dr

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 9:04, closed)