Someone just opened a bag of Tooty Fruities.
They are like sweety porn. We also have a bag of Opal Fruits.

Top three bars or sweets. I am going for 3. Marathon. 2. Sherbert pips. 1. Wine gums.

Alt: Being stuck inside is torcher. What are you doing after work?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:36, 217 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

So ronery.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:38, Reply)

Torcher than what?

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:39, Reply)

Torture innit.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:41, Reply)

Marathons, certainly. Don't mess with my nuts!

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:42, Reply)

Sorry I missed you t'other night.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:47, Reply)

Nae bother, wallop wallop.
Did the wee man pass on the ... merchandise ... yet?
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:54, Reply)

Hey!
Someone starts talking about sweets and the fat bird shows up! It's like I have a sweetie radar or something.

I would say Ritter Sport chocolate (in any of a half-dozen varieties), followed by sherbet fountains and chupa chups.

alt: melting.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:40, Reply)

You aint fat b3th
your just big and brittle boned
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:41, Reply)

Aw, Rory, you say teh sweetest things.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:51, Reply)

Have you seen the sherbert fountains recently?
They are now sold in plastic containers. And the licorice doesn't poke out of the top in case someone touches it and gives to bum AIDS.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:42, Reply)

The liquorice is kept sealed away because it's a public safety hazard
You know, what with it being fucking rank and that.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:43, Reply)

I don't know how we all survived.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:44, Reply)

You shut your whore mouth

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:49, Reply)

You have never been more right.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:59, Reply)

This means I can't eat the paper tube any more.
But on the plus side, it means half the sherbet doesn't fall out of the bottom of the tube.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:50, Reply)

That was character building.
Teaches kids about loss.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:53, Reply)

So did killing the school hamster

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:53, Reply)

Or killing their Nan.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:55, Reply)

Or pulling teh legs off puppies

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:56, Reply)

Haha

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:25, Reply)

We've had some caramel filled in the office today, they were damn tasty.
3: Twirl 2: Maverick 1: Boost

Alt: Couple of beers in the back garden, probably.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:41, Reply)

I've never had a Maverick.
Although I'm contemplating a Dime bar.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:43, Reply)

You aren't the male cast of Top Gun AICMFP

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:44, Reply)

I don't get this reference.
Sorry.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:45, Reply)

You haven't seen Top Gun?!
This is simultaneously very unmanly and spectacularly heterosexual of you.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:46, Reply)

I've seen Top Gun,
but can't remember much about it. Tom Cruise is so far in the closet, its mad. As Father Dougal would say.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:49, Reply)

Tom Cruise's character was called Maverick
In an early example of his art imitating his life, the plot of the film is a thinly-veiled metaphor for one man's struggle with his own homosexuality
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:00, Reply)

I wonder if Goose had used delay spray, he might not have ejected quite so badly?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:02, Reply)

Maverick, it was a shit post I'm afraid

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:47, Reply)

3. I forgot those. And Galaxy Ripple!
Alt: Meat and fire?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:44, Reply)

That'll be Saturday, if the weather holds up

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:00, Reply)

Ooooooooooooooh chocolate
3. Tangfastics 2. Galaxy 1. Twix

Alt: Cooking a fuck-off massive fiery curry, playing Xbox and drinking beer. That's right... Ms Foxtrot's teaching tonight.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:43, Reply)

Galaxy can't even be technically classed as chocolate

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:45, Reply)

Fives for a proper blokes night.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:45, Reply)

*fives*
*looks around worried in case the missus was watching*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:45, Reply)

Surely there will be some wanking?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:46, Reply)

I am getting quite close to the point in Mass Effect where you get it on with the asari
And my character is female. So yeah, probably. It'll be a sweaty-palmed race against time to get to that section in the game before the missus gets home. Wish me luck.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:47, Reply)

1. Yorkie 2.pear drops 3. mint imperials
but only cos they don't do spangles any more : (

alt: as little as possible
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:43, Reply)

Pear drops. Nice.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:46, Reply)

this
they are the kind of thing that lots of people will refuse when you offer them out to = more for me
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:46, Reply)

this also works for me
sadly the other half also loves them, so I have to be quick.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:51, Reply)

Coca Cola Spangles rocked.
While we're on a sweet tip, I didn't know that there was a chunky peanut butter KitKat. I shall investigate.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:47, Reply)

Limited edition, Pooks. If you find them, buy lots.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:48, Reply)

Yes, found them on e-Bay.
Bloody pricey.
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/New-Peanut-Butter-Nestle-Kit-Kat-Chunky-Champion-Bars-Full-Sealed-Box-24-/110871606270?_trksid=p3284.m263&_trkparms=algo%3DSIC%26its%3DI%26itu%3DUCI%252BIA%252BUA%252BFICS%252BUFI%26otn%3D21%26pmod%3D170841346040%26ps%3D54
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:50, Reply)

Worth it.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:52, Reply)

They do an orange flavoured one too.
I remember a fruit flavoured one, some sort of red stuff.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:53, Reply)

THIS^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:51, Reply)

They won the competition so are avaialble in loads of places now.
A shop near me does peanutbutter snickers that I'm going to try this weekend.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:56, Reply)

3 -twix 2 -Bounty 1- munchies
Alt: drinkning a bottle Rose on my "stoop" and eating thai red curry that i will be making
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:44, Reply)

Rose is a bit bent for a bloke
but the heat gives you special dispensation.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:46, Reply)

I've not had a chocolate bar in ages
thanks for contributing to making my diet slightly trickier.

Caramac, picnic, milky way. I don't know if these are the best, but they are what I would eat right this minute given the choice


edit: alt, I'm not working!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:46, Reply)

How's that going?
Has Tesco made you slim and lovely yet?
I've reached my usual point of ennui, where I get bored and then hover up and down the same kilo, losing it one week and gain the next.
Diets really are extremely tedious.

alt: yay you! Did you do your art today? You were gonna do an art.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:56, Reply)

I've lost *checks* 1 stone, 2 pounds
there's lots more to go, though :( To be honest I'm eating better on it, but just sometimes I want chocolate. Also booze filled larp events don't help.

alt: working on the decoupaged cabinet, it's looking pretty good but I have to wait for a bit to dry now. Should start on a different art now
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:01, Reply)

I've lost eight kilos.
That's more or less a stone, too. Go us.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:04, Reply)

Yay

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:07, Reply)

I refuse to talk about sweets.
I need beer/ale suggestions to make next.
I have an IPA on the go, should I make...
St Peters Ruby Red Ale
Mexican Ceveza
English Bitter
Or a Pale ale
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:46, Reply)

Or I might make a fruit beer
for the ladies
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:47, Reply)

Cider beer

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:49, Reply)

ladies bumsex male arserape party I'm holding on a jelly-covered pink bouncy castle in Brighton this weekend

Overcompensationlols
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:49, Reply)

will there be spectator seats for this
?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:54, Reply)

Cerveza?
Will you carbonate it?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:49, Reply)

The yeast carboantes it when you put it in the bottle to finish off.
You get a suprising amount of fizz
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:50, Reply)

I'd imagine it's easier to make brown beers at home than decent lagers.
Is this right?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:51, Reply)

Both about the same, but lagers can take months in the bottle to become nice.
So it's basically quicker to make ale than lager but the process is pretty much the same.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:52, Reply)

hurr hurr
You said 'finish off'.

God, I'm so mature these days. I think it must be the heat. I can feel my brain melting.

Remember kids - spastics die in hot cars.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:58, Reply)

Eventually.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:59, Reply)

cars sex
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:00, Reply)

"Turn to page 7 for more info and gory pictures!"

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:02, Reply)

Don't.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:01, Reply)

I'm actually quite partial to Fruli to be honest.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:02, Reply)

And I'm fond of Bacchus Cherry
But I've had far more bad fruit beers than good, and as a result, I tend to avoid them now.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:04, Reply)

Whichever is the lighter and most refreshing
the better to be enjoyed in a sunny garden, etc
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:49, Reply)

Probably the Ceveza or the pale ale.
But it'll be 3 weeks until its ready so it'll probably be snowing by then.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:49, Reply)

Indian summer?
Maybe do the ruby as well then and hedge your bets!
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:53, Reply)

It's just too hard a decision.
I'll end up spending £100 on kits this weekend I just know it.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:59, Reply)

English bitter.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:01, Reply)

Star bar, bounty, munchies.
Alt: what is work ?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:48, Reply)

Star Bar.
I see we are dealing with a discerning gentleman.

No takers for a Guarana Boost?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:54, Reply)

I liked the coconut one (RIP)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:56, Reply)

It's only takers who go for that fag chocolate

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:56, Reply)

guarana boost was good
I always misread it as guano. Made it less appetising, though
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:58, Reply)

'sponsored by Batshit Mentalist'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:06, Reply)

Texan bar, Wham bar, Highland Toffee.



/tuckshop

Alt: popping home to pick up an inflatable crocodile and some Bart Simpson armbands, then going up the Lido to see my nipparrr.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:49, Reply)

oh highland toffee! This is the taste of going swimming

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:53, Reply)

highland toffee eyeball-stripping chemicals and the piss of a thousand verucca-ridden mongols
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:55, Reply)

the taste of my friends dad's cock when he picks me up half an hour earlier than everyone else

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:56, Reply)

Oh that takes me back!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:57, Reply)

back roughly from behind. Dry.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:02, Reply)

and forth.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:03, Reply)

FIVE BUCKS SAYS RACHAEL SAYS HOTEL CHOCOLATE CHEESECAKE ONE.
-= Chocoloate =-
1) Those bars that are basicly a kinda egg's worth of chocolate in a bar. I could eat a whole packet in one sitting AND go back to the shop for seconds. I'm like a black hole of those, there is never Too Much.
2) Galaxy, I love galaxy chocolate.
3) Caramac 'cus monts mentioned that and I love them, but maybe possibly Bornvile from the fridge.

-= Sweets =- This depends on my mood, but.
- Those huge whips that are filled with white stuff.
- Nerds, dwebs or most Willy Wonka stuff
- Pear Drops... nyom nyom, tastes like petrol station.

-= Crisps =-
- Flammin' Hot wotsits, RIP, god dman I loved you.
- Wassabi flavoured crisps from Wassabi in Kings Cross.
- Kettle
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:54, Reply)

You feeling better, young man?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:57, Reply)

I done a sick a total of 4 times today =(
Opiats are great unless heat is making your naucious =(
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:03, Reply)

Thought about this much, Gonz?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:57, Reply)

I paid for this software for a year, I think I might have to make an infographic about it.
piktochart.com/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:04, Reply)

Ever used Qlikview?
We've just got it, it's pretty good
www.qlikview.com/
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:07, Reply)

Nah', but it looks good.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:15, Reply)

this is making it very difficult to not eat the chocolate hidden in the cupboard
mmmm bourneville
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:58, Reply)

+ boulevard


You dirty bitch
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:01, Reply)

Would you care to join me on the infantile step?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:05, Reply)

If you listen hard enough, you can hear it calling, crying, "please eat me".
If you can't hear it, then you need to bring it closer to your ear, but not to close, about 5 inches away.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:05, Reply)

nah
I can't be arsed. there are 3 boxes of chocolates in there (presents and things from a while ago), I know me, if I open them I'll eat them all
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:06, Reply)

You've changed, Cavy.
You've changed.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:10, Reply)

She'll always be a size 20 in my heart

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:15, Reply)

you're so sweet rory

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:17, Reply)

i know
I keep eating fruit and cooking things
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:17, Reply)

/ac

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:58, Reply)

Oh mate, what I wouldn't give for some aircon

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:05, Reply)

Innit bruv.
I am fucking dying here.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:07, Reply)

What I wouldn't give for a nice blowjob round about now.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:16, Reply)

about now the back of Iceland
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:18, Reply)

hahaha

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:24, Reply)

that's why your mum's gone to......

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:48, Reply)

Wipe the drool off the keyboard g

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 15:59, Reply)

*gets out the mop'n'bucket*

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:06, Reply)

Kinder bars
or Kinder Riegel, as they're known in Germany, are flipping excellent. I could eat a squillion. And they're practically healthy too, as they're mostly milk.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:00, Reply)

sugar, dear. They are mostly sugar.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:03, Reply)

No, right, because
if they were mostly sugar, I'd be a total heiffer by now. And everyone knows I'm petite and sylph like.

*remembers Stunned has actually met her*

Ah. Yes. Right then.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:06, Reply)

Wait, what? really? what? Wha' ?
*looks at the packet next time I go shops*
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:06, Reply)

D'you remember Galaxy Secret bars?
They were the BOMB.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:03, Reply)

Nah', there aren't any traces of pictures that I can see on google eaither, but whatever they were, I miss them.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:08, Reply)

Do you remember Vice Versas?
They were fucking ace.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:09, Reply)

They were Nestle not Galaxy
video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3394676286237442332#
( Peej, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:47, Reply)

OMG I REMEMBER THEM, THEY WERE LIKE SEX

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 17:04, Reply)

Beer garden after work
for a pint of something for me and an ice pack for elsewhere.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:00, Reply)

Have you had the AA or the full PhilliJoe?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:02, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:03, Reply)

I don't get it.
Is this a wanking joke?
( Kroney, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:04, Reply)

Genital mutilation, I'm afraid.

/ac
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:05, Reply)

I have very nice genitals, thank you very much.
Even if they have unravelled all over the carpet, thanks to the heat.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:06, Reply)

I'd advise against the AA
It's bloody uncomfortable.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:07, Reply)

I was implying you had either suffered circumcision or sterilisation
because it sounded like you needed the ice pack for your nuts.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:08, Reply)

It's the way you tell 'em.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:08, Reply)

It was fucking funny!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:09, Reply)

It's no skin off my nose

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:13, Reply)

hahaha

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:19, Reply)

_such_ a trend setter.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:17, Reply)

I am going for a drink in the new Heron Tower.
lardy fucking dar.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:04, Reply)

You're so cool.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:05, Reply)

I'm going for a drink in the nicest pub in Uxbridge
which is a bit like saying the nicest pit in hell
( Kroney, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:06, Reply)

The lobby one or the "sky bar"

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:22, Reply)

Drift. Think lobby.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:47, Reply)

Cola bottles are the bestest ever. Easy choice.
Then: foam bananas/prawns
And: Kit Kat

Alt: Driiiinks. No work tomorrow, hurray!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:00, Reply)

The girl sitting across the way from me has a skirt on.
She's got better legs than either of us, DiT :(
( Kroney, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:02, Reply)

I highly doubt that.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:03, Reply)

No, really.
I'm disgusted.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:03, Reply)

HILARIOUS STRIKETHROUGH OPPORTUNITY!
disgusted wanking like a performing gibbon
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:07, Reply)

One thing about summer weather
I'm seeing all sorts of people in a new light.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:08, Reply)

night vision?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:11, Reply)

Given half a chance.

( Kroney, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:11, Reply)

He's got a new bulb in his 'special basement'

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:12, Reply)

euphemism for butt-plug

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:14, Reply)

Imagining them naked?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:11, Reply)

Sometimes you barely need to.
I saw a woman this morning at the bootsale who was just about wearing Daisy Dukes and a tube top. She wasn't exactly overweight, but it still wasn't the kind of body you needed to see in that much quantity.

Well, unless you were an autistic virgin with colour coded wanking socks, I suppose.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:23, Reply)

"autistic virgin with colour coded wanking socks"
djtp?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:38, Reply)

LOL JK - I *heart* djtp

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:39, Reply)

Where i used to work
the town specialised in whales in thongs. First hint of summer they'd all come out, sat wolfing their pasties with 3 acres of flossed bum crack hanging out.
I'm convinced there must be a reverse version of that body dismorphia thing that anorexics have, where whales are convinced they look like Cindy Crawford.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:41, Reply)

mmm
pasties
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:55, Reply)

*cums in this pear*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:08, Reply)

I meant to click reply to say "another joke I don't get"
but I clicked "I like this" by mistake.

Clarification: I do not like this.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:09, Reply)

You're an idiot

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:10, Reply)

Coming from you, that's downright fucking insulting.

( Kroney, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:11, Reply)

Fucking dis custed.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:59, Reply)

Foam bananas can fuck off, then when they get there can fuck off some more
Then fuck off some more. Keep fucking off until they get back here. then fuck off again.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:09, Reply)

You disappoint me, Nakers.
Next you'll be saying you don't like cycling... oh.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:11, Reply)

OH MAN IT'S LIKE 'THE THICK OF IT' IN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:11, Reply)

FUCK! BLOODY! GOSH DANG IT YOU EFFING FANNY!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:12, Reply)

Shit the shit off and bloody bugger yourself in the bum while you're doing it!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HE SWEARS A LOT!!!!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:14, Reply)

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THE MAIN CHARACTER LIKES CHILDREN IN THE NUDDY.
Actually, that's not funny at all.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:16, Reply)

POTD
I am lolling HARD right now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:17, Reply)

I don't get it.
And I've seen The Thick of It.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:24, Reply)

Chris Langham
got caught doing a Glitter/Townsend.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:26, Reply)

Oh
He wasn't the main character, though.

Death's Head was.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:27, Reply)

So you prefer chocolate starfish?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:21, Reply)

I've never trusted "Snickers",
after they changed their name from "Marathon", well shoddy.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:15, Reply)

'Snickers' does sound better in a Northern Irish accent than 'Marathon', though.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:15, Reply)

That's the reason they changed the name, in fact.

( Kroney, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:22, Reply)

When we got 'Snickers' instead of 'Marathon'
the rest of the world had to change 'Raider' to 'Twix'.

That's one up for us, I think.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:20, Reply)

I blame it all on the foreigners.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:23, Reply)

There's too many of them.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:23, Reply)

they must have lost out on many rude punning opportunities

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:27, Reply)

I am finding this thread very confusing.

( Kroney, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:21, Reply)

b3ta.turb0t.net/questions/offtopic/post1683679
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:26, Reply)

I think I'm going to be forced to agree with you.

( Kroney, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:27, Reply)

Takes one to know one

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:28, Reply)

whoever smelt it dealt it

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:29, Reply)

He who denied it,
applied it.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:33, Reply)

You should join the Police force

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 17:07, Reply)

is there a way of looking at the best off topic posts ever?
cos this is boring and shit and i'd like to know what i've missed
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:42, Reply)

Just put yourself on ignore

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:45, Reply)

I think you need to gaz one of the mods.
Try cr3.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:49, Reply)

why do you hate me b3th?
why/
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:52, Reply)

I really don't think I could bring myself to eat any sweets or chocolate today
although I do have some rather nice italian ganache covered hazelnuts that I bought myself for my birthday. For every day chocolate, probably a twirl.
Alt: I'm going to go home and sleep.
(berk, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:49, Reply)

Need some company?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:51, Reply)

JOKING!!!!
How are tricks? Stuck your fingers in anything disgusting today?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:52, Reply)

I haven't found any more sweetcorn, if that's what you're asking
although I did respond to the bollocking my boss gave me just now by being sick on her shoes. Does that count?
(berk, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:55, Reply)

That doesn't sound good.
Wassup, berk? Heat, poorly, or knocked up?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:57, Reply)

ill.

(berk, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:59, Reply)

I hope you've gone home.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 17:01, Reply)

I'd say so.
You seriously spewed on your boss?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:58, Reply)

Great work. I am v impressed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:58, Reply)

I think that calls for a manly handshake,
and a P45.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:59, Reply)

She was giving me a roasting for something that occurred
on a day that I wasn't even here, ergo, could not possibly have been my fault. Sadly she managed to jump back out of most of it. Sigh. In any case, I'm going to attempt to cycle home now. Cheerybye.
(berk, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 17:01, Reply)

Byeeee!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 17:12, Reply)

Considering what you do for a living
I'm surprised you can even contemplate nutty chocolate.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:54, Reply)

Best kind of chocolate
and in any case, it's only the smell that really gets to you. Since nutty chocolate doesn't (certainly shouldn't, anyway) smell of shit I can eat as much of it as I like.
(berk, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:56, Reply)

i'm scared to ask what you do for a living.... :((((

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 16:57, Reply)

she works in the sewers scaring away the aligators

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 17:08, Reply)

You lot started a new thread and no one told me
You're all Fucking bent I tell you, no mention of
Rhubarb & custard, rosy apples, Sherbet pips,soor plums, treacle lollipops, pineapple cubes, rhubarb rock, fish & chips, double dips, popping space candy dust, sweet tobacco, dib dabs, rainbow drops *draws a breath*, arrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what is wrong with you people.

*FLOUNCES OFF HOME*
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 17:00, Reply)

d'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...............!
ya big lug
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 17:03, Reply)

I'm bored and hungry now can i go home?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 17:07, Reply)

Please, please do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 17:12, Reply)

hey monts you still here?
looks like it's you and me
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 17:18, Reply)

I'm watching from a distance, to see how long it takes you to get a bit ' women in love'

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 17:27, Reply)

are you calling me a lezza?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 17:28, Reply)

lolarious racism
www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2012/jul/25/london-2012-greece-racist-twitter
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 17:09, Reply)

Is there any other kind?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 17:12, Reply)

good point

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 17:14, Reply)