MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE
thanks to SS for the reminder
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:42, archived)

you despicable ruinous antagonistic cottaging christmas cunt

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:42, archived)

I liked your Morse/GWAR idea
TV/band crossovers would make an excellent thread in the near future.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:47, archived)

aww, you're like a little angel

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:47, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6_zsJ8KPP0
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:47, archived)

oh hey mano, have you played mgs5 yet?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:47, archived)

Is that good?
I played a bit of one on the PS2 but other than that I've never got into them. Should I?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:50, archived)

nah, i haven't played any mgs since the ps1
i wouldn't mind trying the new one but i have too many other things to play at the moment
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:56, archived)

little Hell's
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:52, archived)

You are literally the worst person who has ever lived

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:43, archived)

www.amazon.co.uk/review/RWW172HTF454K/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:44, archived)

this guy is a joy

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:45, archived)

he sure showed her

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:47, archived)

I like how he's bought LOADS of very cheap tat
then complained that it's cheap tat and sent it back.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:52, archived)

he's got a Miele vacuum cleaner
but confuses draw with drawer, is vegetarian, and wears "tea" shirts. I don't know what to make of him.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:53, archived)

This is what's so fascinating about these lists
You start to build a picture of what this person is like
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:54, archived)

an aggressive vegetarian with a 36" waist
now I've seen it all.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:00, archived)

^the deciding vote that ensured the icons were switched on today

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:52, archived)

you puke

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:53, archived)

sometimes, yeah

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:55, archived)

What are you thanking the SS for?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:44, archived)

Because he's a fucking Xmas Nazi

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:48, archived)

joy to the world

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:46, archived)

Ready for Christmas?
What are doing on Christmas day? Visiting a loved one, or having someone over perhaps? What do you want for christmas? Perhaps you already know what you're getting.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:06, archived)

driving off a cliff

( $$ ✅, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:07, archived)

You are Chris Rea

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:07, archived)

fuck all

( mongychops, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:08, archived)

I miss the days of doing fuck all on christmas day

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:12, archived)

might go for a lunchtime pint, that will be about it, some tart wants me to go to her house for christmas as she feels sorry for me on my own, fuck that shit

( mongychops, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:34, archived)

oh god, a pity feast?
yeah, sod that
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:35, archived)

it's a trap

( $$ ✅, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:35, archived)

That John Lewis ad would be much better if it were about you.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:38, archived)

Ooh, festive icons!
Now it's Christmas.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:43, archived)

I'm going to be helping half a dozen small children build lego whilst horribly hung over.
Traditional innit.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:09, archived)

Sounds alright

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:12, archived)

I wish it could be christmas every day

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:10, archived)

did you watch Charlie Brooker's Black Christmas last year?
It was fucking horrible.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:13, archived)

I think I've seen him on telly once, he's the annoying bloke who sits at a desk isn't he

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:37, archived)

He does
but don't let that put you off. He's not in it, he just writes it.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:42, archived)

When the flids start spacking and the whole board turns out ga-ha-hay, woah

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:16, archived)

all i want for christmas is yooooooooou

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:12, archived)

bit gay

( $$ ✅, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:13, archived)

It's ok, I've taken care of it
scare tactics
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:13, archived)

Ok, imagine me sitting under a tree wearing nothing but a bow and a sprig of holly
then withdraw your comment
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:13, archived)

sorry, i forgot several words. i'll post them below

+ to fuck off
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:17, archived)

haha
I'd have a lot more respect for Mariah Carey if she sang that version
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:18, archived)

we all would

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:21, archived)

Christmas is a bit of a run around, as it's lady pigs mum's birthday,
So we're breakfast with her, then run across to lunch with ladypigs dad, then the horse, walk the dogs, go to my brother and have a drink then stagger up to my dad's for dinner and port by the pint.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:13, archived)

This used to be us
Rushing around to make everyone else happy. Fuck that noise.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:14, archived)

To be fair, it's not too bad.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:16, archived)

No, I'm sure it's fun
I can't do it with two kids in tow though. Don't have children, Windy. You'll never have money or late nights again.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:17, archived)

Yeah, kids are not something I'm interested in. I keep getting told it's a wonderful fulfilling experience.
But I prefer getting so drunk I can't function on a Sunday.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:19, archived)

I haven't been to a new year's party in about 10 years

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:20, archived)

how are kids that expensive then?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:31, archived)

They eat food and require clothing
And then they grow fairly rapidly, meaning that more food is needed and bigger clothes.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:32, archived)

but the Dovestone got a good deal on 80 fish fingers
can't you just do that for 18 years?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:39, archived)

Christmas day is just me, my wife, all sorts of cheap tat that we bought each other
and a bottle of Ardbeg, just for me.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:17, archived)

+ "Scooby Doo & KISS Save Christmas" on HD DVD

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:19, archived)

i'd watch that

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:22, archived)

Aw, looks like this is the closest you can get
www.amazon.co.uk/Scooby-Doo-Kiss-Rock-Roll-Mystery/dp/B00VFZUAF4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1449570212&sr=8-1&keywords=scooby+doo+and+kiss
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:23, archived)

'Scooby Doo completists and KISS fans only'
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/customer-reviews/RVUFIAU61JX9C/ref=cm_cr_pr_rvw_ttl?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B00VFZUAF4
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:27, archived)

Hahaha, that's fantastic
I think De Mutt might be expecting a tad too much of his Scooby Doo adventures.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:29, archived)

i still want to see the scooby doo/wwe crossover

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:28, archived)

Well according to De Mutt
"This [the KISS one] and the WWE one both smack of promotional co-sponsoring. "
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:31, archived)

it's like they have completely ruined the integrity of Scooby Doo

( $$ ✅, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:32, archived)

I used to rate Scooby Doo right up there with Columbo, or even Morse
This just makes a mockery of the whole enterprise
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:33, archived)

I wish there had been a Morse/GWAR crossover episode

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:42, archived)

does he have an opinion on the scooby/batman one?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:35, archived)

I'm not sure, but he has reviewed some other items:
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/pdp/profile/A32UO6W5LG0KFB/ref=cm_cr_rdp_pdp
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:36, archived)

He's reviewed pasta and used the expression "Simples!"

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:38, archived)

Pasta of a good quality and the Scooby link helps get kids to eat it. Obviously you are paying extra for the name.
( $$ ✅, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:38, archived)

Lily-Flame Christmas Spice Tin, Red
Smells Like Christmas
( $$ ✅, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:38, archived)

it's eerie how a page of Amazon reviews can create such a complete portrait of one man's existence.
X-large Everton supporter and Scooby Doo fan with wife and two kids who thinks the Carry On series is "ok" and who has converted his spare bedroom into a miniture nightclub
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:47, archived)

fuck off

( MONO!, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:21, archived)

Feel free to join Dave Trouser's hilarious binary thread if this one isn't to your taste, MONO

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:22, archived)

they're both shit

( MONO!, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:25, archived)

Well go and do something else then
Christ almighty MONO, you are one miserable fucking cunt
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:26, archived)

feel free to just fuck off and never stop then

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:27, archived)

switch on the christmas icons that will cheer him up

( $$ ✅, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:36, archived)

oh my god, today IS the day
thanks for reminding me, friend!
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:40, archived)

it says

Your all gay!

so, yeah

that
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:40, archived)

I realise this may be a duplication of information if someone I have on Ignore 3.0 has already posted it

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:41, archived)

it's my first christmas in the new flat! so naturally we're going to carlisle for the duration

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:23, archived)

Isn't Carlisle currently only accessible by boat? Hopefully it will dry out.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:24, archived)

No, you're thinking of Robert Carlyle

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:25, archived)

he's always thinking of a wet robert carlyle

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:27, archived)

Of course
Let me know when you're leaving. I'm not going to burgle your flat.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:24, archived)

i was going to get you to stay there while we're away, so you can bark at anyone who comes to the door

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:26, archived)

A flat to myself for a week????
It's a christmas miracle!!!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:27, archived)

oh, my incontinent nan will be there too
be careful. after a few sherries she'll get a bit handsy
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:36, archived)

This is the gift that keeps on giving

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:37, archived)

Slightly worried that my wife/kids have got me skateboarding lessons.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:42, archived)

oh SHIT

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:43, archived)

perhaps they need a good talking to, if you don't mind my saying so

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:47, archived)

BINARY LOL
00110101 00110111 00100000 00110101 00110111 00100000 00110011 00111001 00100000 00110011 00110001 00100000 00110110 00110011 00100000 00110110 00111001 00100000 00110100 00110010 00100000 00110110 00111000 00100000 00110110 00110010 00100000 00110100 00110111 00100000 00110111 00110111 00100000 00110110 00110111 00100000 00110101 01100001 00100000 00110011 00110010 00100000 00110100 00110110 00100000 00110011 00110101 00100000 00110100 00111001 00100000 00110101 00110001 00100000 00110011 01100100 00100000 00110011 01100100 00100000
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:56, archived)

01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01101111 01100110 01100110 00100000 01100100 01100001 01110110 01100101
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:03, archived)

SHA'N'T!

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:06, archived)

cool

( $$ ✅, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:05, archived)

nerd
/ac again
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:06, archived)

It's true though, youn all are.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:16, archived)

you say that like i bothered to translate it
i didn't, no-one did
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:25, archived)

10001110101

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:08, archived)

ccccccdlrbnkbkrfgnjvubvuglffdtbbucdtcdftekcv

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:27, archived)

Please be very quiet as if you were dead.
/ac
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:28, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 7:12, archived)

titties

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 7:26, archived)

t h
+t
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 7:28, archived)

those crazy Anatolian guys?

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 7:42, archived)

them's the fuckers
I only remember them from Age of Empires 2 tbh
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:03, archived)

I feel stupid now, I only know them from actually knowing things about history and that

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:19, archived)

nerd

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:43, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7870650
( mongychops, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:46, archived)

WHAT HAS THAT GOT TO DO WITH ANYTHING

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:09, archived)

hey don't get upset with me

( mongychops, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:15, archived)

sorry, I've been under a lot of stress lately

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:18, archived)

Yes.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Dec 2015, 7:34, archived)

ARSEHOLE

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 7:45, archived)

Asshat

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Dec 2015, 7:52, archived)

just the one, I'm not greedy

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:03, archived)

yeah

( MONO!, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 7:58, archived)

great to see a new current of positivity flowing through the board

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:04, archived)

I love you

( MONO!, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:07, archived)

^gay for Godby

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:08, archived)

woah there steady on

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:08, archived)

I've got a steady on
if you know what I mean
( MONO!, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:22, archived)

hands off, I saw him first

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:15, archived)

I think it's only right and proper that you two now fight a duel with cannon
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7G1eLTV89dM
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:36, archived)

that's stupid and boring and gay and shit

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:14, archived)

Godby

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:05, archived)

Hello hello hello, how are you on this fine day!
If I moved to Hampshire would we be friends? Could we watch wrestling with Manolith?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:07, archived)

Absolutely

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:20, archived)

I bet manno is the sort who gets over excited and reenacts the fight
in a sexy way
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:24, archived)

I'll take my own oil then, I have sensitive skin and react to some ungents

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:25, archived)

I've been power bombed by him more times than I care to remember

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:27, archived)

there's a strikethrough gag in there somewhere

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:51, archived)

I had hoped that everyone would infer some sort of gay meaning from this, making a strikethrough unnecessary
But by all means, do what you feel needs to be done
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:01, archived)

mean bumm
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:04, archived)

k, taking this to mean you're fellating Keanu Reeves
/ac
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:17, archived)

don't i get a say?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:45, archived)

Oh.
:(
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:46, archived)

i didn't say i'd refuse. i just want to be consulted

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:53, archived)

co i
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:55, archived)

s g

lol
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:02, archived)

I DON'T NEED ONE, I'VE GOT YOU

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:06, archived)

I feel a bit guilty now
because Godby really was a kid in my art class, and 20 years later his name is being dragged across the hot coals of an internet message board.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:10, archived)

I'm sure he'll never see it.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:11, archived)

but this place is expanding its membership all the time, it stands to reason that eventually he'll sign up

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:33, archived)

Oh lol

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:34, archived)

think of it as revenge for all those times he did better drawings than you

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:14, archived)

art is not a competition

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:19, archived)

tell that to the Turner Prize committee, loser

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:20, archived)

since when has the Turner Prize had anything to do with art

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:24, archived)

1984 obvs

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:26, archived)

Since its inception.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:26, archived)

inception won the turner prize?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:53, archived)

Inception won the 'Inception Turner Prize' Turner Prize

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:59, archived)

Not since Donnie Darko have so many thick dweebs raved so incoherently about the imagined profundity of a Hollywood film.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:03, archived)

I've not seen it, to be fair

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:05, archived)

A colleague lent it to me, raving about how amazing and profound it was.
It was rubbish. He's since been promoted above me. :(
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:18, archived)

despite all these fucking moaners, it's a perfectly serviceable action film
the premise is ridiculous, but that's hardly a reason to hate it
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:04, archived)

I love plenty of ridiculous things

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:07, archived)

i've got it, you can have a borrow if you like

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:14, archived)

What's it about?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:13, archived)

Nothing much. Just a bunch of set piece chop socky and cgi stretched thinly across some bollocks about entering people's dreams or sutin.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:22, archived)

either that film became utterly brilliant twenty minutes in or I watched just enough of it to form an accurate opinion

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:20, archived)

we may as well try to make the most of it then

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:34, archived)

I'll put the kettle on, you grease up the pan for some eggs

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:35, archived)

yup

( $$ ✅, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:40, archived)

We love you morningbot!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:45, archived)

bleep bloop

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:46, archived)

it is, and what a shitty morning it is too
shit morning, grrrmachine, shit morning everybody
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:46, archived)

I recorded two audio tracks for a video game yesterday
and the feedback this morning was excellent, so it's an unshit morning to you, manolith
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:47, archived)

nerd
/ac
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:54, archived)

typical grumpy old manolith. Good job grrrmachine is here to cheer us all up.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:47, archived)

are you going to make eveningbot then?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:56, archived)

So you don't trust me.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:57, archived)

you were hardly enthusiastic about it
whereas we all know 2Can will be furiously pounding the keyboard as he drafts up prickbot 2.0, chuckling with manic glee at the hilarity ensuing from such a mega jape.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:07, archived)

don't encourage him
or do, actually. it'll be more fun to ban it if i know some work went into it
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:05, archived)

What's wrong with a nice good evening bot?
Prickbot and wanker bot were a roaring success
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:12, archived)

r b
a
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:32, archived)

I think *someone* needs a hug

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:50, archived)

h p
here you go
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:54, archived)

Shittest dogs ever.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:58, archived)

aren't all dogs pretty shit?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:11, archived)

They're thick, they stink, they're insecure to the point of random violence, they shit anywhere.
Wait ... I'm thinking of cockerneys.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:24, archived)

statistically speaking, that's got to be true

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:55, archived)

I'll hug you
*fetches blue-step*
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:04, archived)

ep ar
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:14, archived)

lol

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:36, archived)

cool

( $$ ✅, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:55, archived)

*glomps*

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 8:55, archived)

i need some nyommy bacons and a cup of tea sent through the internet, man

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:13, archived)

paging Dave Trouser
Dave Trouser to the /talk board please
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:38, archived)

fuck, now you've done it

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:58, archived)

he waits, that's what he does

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:01, archived)

I regret this

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:01, archived)

Last night's dinner at Pizza Hut is playing merry hell with my bowels.
And I bit my tongue. Rubbish times.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:19, archived)

I had pizza last night and there's nothing wrong with me
maybe because my pizza had spinach on it
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:27, archived)

hi bbz

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:20, archived)

alright lovely dovely

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:26, archived)

i think everyone's winding down for christmas now
might as well just close the office for the season
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:33, archived)

We've got our christmas lunch in the canteen today
Never turn down free food, that's my motto
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:52, archived)

What's the vegan option?
/ac
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:55, archived)

Don't eat

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 9:58, archived)

the stefani diet

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:00, archived)

lol

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:01, archived)

Evening

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 18:51, archived)

Yes... Yes it is.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 18:53, archived)

Alright token board homo.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 18:57, archived)

What about Two hats?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:16, archived)

He's just confused because of what his mum makes him do.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:32, archived)

He's incapacitated right now
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:32, archived)

GOD DAMN IT

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:38, archived)

haha, uncanny

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 21:17, archived)

i for one am thankful that we are on a board with the freedom to post gifs

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 21:18, archived)

Remember lbft?
He was alright. For a Strayan.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 22:06, archived)

Neptune was the only good bent here, you are a wanker

( mongychops, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:32, archived)

Whatever happened to that dreadful bumder?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:36, archived)

He left me : (

( mongychops, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:45, archived)

They're all slags, mate. You're better off out.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 20:01, archived)

not even duncan dares post here now

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:46, archived)

I miss token board yank and token board black guy alligator shitfuck.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 21:33, archived)

You should leave for a few years and see if anyone misses you, that'll learn us

( mongychops, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 22:21, archived)

QOTW is riddled with them

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 21:33, archived)

Weepy.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 18:57, archived)

Guffso

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:16, archived)

we could really do with someone to make a thread saying exactly this, every day
so it's either you, or we ask 2 Can to make Eve_bot.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:00, archived)

Hmm, I'll think about it.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:16, archived)

made a decision yet?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:28, archived)

Not yet

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:35, archived)

What about now?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:36, archived)

Please don't pressure me

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:45, archived)

Now?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 20:01, archived)

Yeah, alright.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 20:34, archived)

left a bit... left a bit... right a bit... there! ...no, back a bit... up a bit... down a bit... there!
ta.
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 20:39, archived)

You are proper shit at parking.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 21:00, archived)

confessions of a driving instructor

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 22:03, archived)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:15, archived)

I had to ride a horse yesterday. I'm all achey now.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:17, archived)

Inb4: Lol lol, sex with a horse cock in my bum hahaha

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:17, archived)

I'm not keen on horses and stables and that.
It's filthy, it's outdoors and it's dirty.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:19, archived)

I enjoyed it,

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:20, archived)

he'

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:21, archived)

well that was a lot of fun wasn't it

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:24, archived)

dunno

( mongychops, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:34, archived)

it's important to avoid having an opinion on too many things

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:37, archived)

I refuse to take part

( mongychops, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 18:11, archived)

there's been an accident on the m4, so i'm going to wait it out in the office to see if the traffic clears

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:39, archived)

stay strong babez
xoxoxox
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:43, archived)

just playing solitaire at the mo, gotta pass the time somehow xxx

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:46, archived)

It was mine sweeper back in my office procrastination days.
They hadn't invented rsi back in the 1990s
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:48, archived)

don't bother
if people have drawers under their desks, why not go through them and take the treasure you find inside?
( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:52, archived)

just stole carol's stapler, i'm pretty she broke mine a few months back

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:59, archived)

I hope /links join us too then we can all gang together and invade /board

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:44, archived)

i fear the anti /talk rhetoric and propaganda has been far too effective over there

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:48, archived)

they're scared of people who actually create their own online content
rather than just scavenging whatever URLs they can harvest from reddit
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 18:19, archived)

It's like the Facebook feed of that old school friend who's thick as mince but too harmless to block

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 18:27, archived)

quite a few of them have me on ignore

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:49, archived)

we can all gang together and invade /board b3ta might last another six weeks or so
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:56, archived)

six? check out captain optimismo

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 18:25, archived)

Unless the price of hosting goes up this place is here forever, soz

( mongychops, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 18:27, archived)

op au
im
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 18:39, archived)

Hello "Talk"
Since Offtopic is dead on it is arse, we've been told to try here!

What delights do you lot offer a travelling forum user?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:31, archived)

what do you know about swans

( vladimir, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:32, archived)

newsthump.com/2015/12/07/terrorist-incident-declared-after-small-muslim-boy-shouts-wanker-at-a-swan/
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:36, archived)

But we all know that swans are total wankers?

Or, have I missed something?
( hooker1uk Filth monger of the lowest degree!, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:41, archived)

Which kind?
I've hear they can break a mans arm and it's illegal to kill one in England
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:48, archived)

It's illegal to kill most things in England

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:52, archived)

I'll be the judge of that...
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:52, archived)

Seagulls, pigeons, all that sort of thing
And the only swans protected by the queen are the ones in her own parks. There.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:53, archived)

its illegal not to kill grey squirrels apparently

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:59, archived)

Not entirely true
It's illegal to release one into the wild, so if you catch one you legally have to kill it or home it.
( Peej, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 18:21, archived)

every morning I remind people that it's morning
it's very soothing
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:33, archived)

Very handy for insomniacs and retards.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:49, archived)

Piss off queerbo

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:33, archived)

You don't bring me flowers... anymore.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:49, archived)

Alright Jay

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:50, archived)

aye pet :)
Yourself?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:52, archived)

Grand

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:18, archived)

ngbufydg5y h4 uh903uirjh

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:36, archived)

I think that joke has run its course

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:38, archived)

Gonna milk that mutha DRY!
Edit: haha, still got populol'd, you pseudo-Slavic joysponge.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:47, archived)

I refuse to believe that anything can truly run its course on here
        
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:05, archived)

truly
edit that quick before I notice and mention it
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:08, archived)

phew

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:09, archived)

i.imgur.com/jk1SvjF.gif
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:14, archived)

ccccccdlrbnkuhrffdghiegrntvktkdghtvkrddcfbll

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 19:37, archived)

Well that's easy for you to say.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 20:38, archived)

Fast paced chit-chat,
and support in times of crisis.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:38, archived)

Have you
/offtopic dead?
Who'd a funked that?

And we offer happy endings with sunshine elephant or mongy?

/evening all

/edit more importantly how are YOU all?
( hooker1uk Filth monger of the lowest degree!, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:39, archived)

Evening hooker1uk. How are you?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:40, archived)

Sat on a bus in Bedford trying to get home. How are you?
( hooker1uk Filth monger of the lowest degree!, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:44, archived)

Sat in the workshop waiting for 5 o'clock so I can go home.
It's been a pretty dull day, but that's fine.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:48, archived)

Its been dull here too.
Methinks its get smashed time soon.
( hooker1uk Filth monger of the lowest degree!, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:51, archived)

Christ, what sort of cunt says "methinks"
Edit, me apparently. Jesus
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:56, archived)

I dunno, people from Tudor times?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:57, archived)

I'm going home now.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:58, archived)

"methinks" doesn't mean "I think", it means "it seems to me"
true story
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:00, archived)

I'm home now.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:14, archived)

Fucking hell, that was quick

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:18, archived)

It's a short cycle ride.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:18, archived)

I don't know what that is, but I'm sure it's offensive

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:20, archived)

Fat nerd

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:24, archived)

Evening hooker1uk. How are you?

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:41, archived)

Evening hooker1uk. How are you?

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:44, archived)

Evening hooker1uk. How are you?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:45, archived)

what a fucking rotten miserable ignorant cunt, imma put it on block now

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:53, archived)

No, give him time

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:54, archived)

I'm a patient man but this is fucking intolerable

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:56, archived)

I dunno

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:57, archived)

he's taking the piss now, this is fucking well beyond belief now

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:01, archived)

I think they should be banned

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:03, archived)

we shouldn't have to put up with this

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:05, archived)

I added an edit how are you?
( hooker1uk Filth monger of the lowest degree!, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:11, archived)

TOO LATE NOW ISN'T IT

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:14, archived)

Evening hooker1uk. How are you?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:49, archived)

Has Hooker1uk told us how they are yet..?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:50, archived)

Evening hooker1uk. How are you?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:44, archived)

fuck off and die you revolting northern homo

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:47, archived)

Don't you have kids to fuck, or something?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:50, archived)

what if I do?
its not like its a crime or anything.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:01, archived)

are there any /qotwers who are banned from /talk?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:08, archived)

emvee

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:09, archived)

WHO KNOWS, WHO CARES?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 17:11, archived)

hey it's Monday

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:40, archived)

Alright forget it then
Just fucking forget it
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:41, archived)

I'd be failing in my duty if I didn't provide this important public service

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:44, archived)

hey it's ok, you're here now

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:49, archived)

Selleck and Danson were major TV stars when that movie came out, Guttenberg probably thrown in because of Police Academy.
If you are big on TV in the US you will get a fairly good audience in the cinema. That's why all the Downtown and Dr Who pricks are popping up on US TV and movies at the mo.
( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:44, archived)

Yes, that's true

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:45, archived)

haha, idiot

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:46, archived)

oh hahaha

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:46, archived)

hahaha

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:48, archived)

lol

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:48, archived)

You know when people say that a swan can break your arm?
I reckon that's bollocks
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:49, archived)

I think the were referring to the protagonist in The Warriors film

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:50, archived)

Well this changes everything

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:53, archived)

crikey, if they can break your bollocks too I think it's best to stay away from ponds altogether

( vladimir, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:56, archived)

<3

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:57, archived)

d'aawwww

( vladimir, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:05, archived)

what, you say that a swan can break your bollocks?

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:57, archived)

Yes
Mine specifically
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:59, archived)

well they do call you 'old shatternads'

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:01, archived)

ruuuuuun!
( vladimir, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:05, archived)

they could have blurred the swan's eyes too

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:06, archived)

I think they tried but missed and got his wing

( vladimir, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:07, archived)

i think i read somewhere that swans have eyes on their wings

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:15, archived)

it's how they see round corners to sneak up on unsuspecting photographers in order to break their arms

( vladimir, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:31, archived)

You're getting confused
The guy's name is Wing. Swon Wing.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:17, archived)

swonbody wing for an amburance, this man's borrocks are broken

( vladimir, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:28, archived)

+ is the greatest sentence I have read this year

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:29, archived)

I'm logging out, I don't think I'll top this

( vladimir, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:32, archived)

Jon Lovitz looks like half man, half aubergine

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:46, archived)

You say that like it's a bad thing

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:48, archived)

Just imagine if he were erased from history and replaced with Jon Polito.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:50, archived)

On an unrelated note, what the hell happened to Tara Reid?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:52, archived)

drugs I reckon
I remember feeling movement in my trouser area when I saw her in Josie & The Pussycats. The next time I saw her she looked like Skeletor cosplaying as Pamela Anderson.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:53, archived)

she'll still suck your cock for a thousand dollars
baldmonkey can't watch though, or he has to pay a hundred
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:54, archived)

I'm not sure how to feel about this

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:55, archived)

you're supposed to say that you're just going to find a cash machine
GAWD, if you can't even be bothered to learn my favourite film word-for-word, then i don't think you're committed to this friendship
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:58, archived)

soz

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:59, archived)

There's no joy in coercing someone to suck your nob.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:02, archived)

no
this is why I could never visit a prostitute. In the back of my mind would be the ever present knowledge that they're not actually into it.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:20, archived)

I'm not convinced my wife's into it, to be honest.
She's never demanded payment, though.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:23, archived)

Well then you're up on the deal

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:27, archived)

As if we've had sexual contact since the kids were born!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:30, archived)

but doesn't that make it
better
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:51, archived)

she had her hand bitten off by a shark

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:54, archived)

Oh, she was in Sharknado, wasn't she?
I feel really sorry for her, now.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:56, archived)

we have a sharknado expert in the office so i had to ask him if she dies in any of them. the best he could come up with was that she loses a hand in the second one
did you know that kurt angle is in that one? it's ridiculous
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:59, archived)

I have a David Hasselhoff Sharknado bobblehead
How does he like THAT, eh?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:04, archived)

he has the spinning sharknado pop vinyl
do you still want me to ask or have you been suitably chastened?
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:05, archived)

I'm not really that bothered either way, to be honest
If I knew him I'd probably give it to him for christmas, truth be told
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:16, archived)

haha, who gave it to you?
that pop vinyl thing really exploded didn't it? they're fucking everywhere. i've got about 3 but they all came from lootcrates
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:22, archived)

There are a bunch of those pop vinyls I'd actually like
I got the bobblehead from a horrorblock
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:29, archived)

do you have any already?
i have a batman one and a doc brown one. the gf has an agent coulson one
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:43, archived)

No, I don't have any

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:46, archived)

*makes L from thumb and finger, holds to forehead*

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:51, archived)

I watched the first one, just to say I could.
Not even the promise of Kurt Angle could get me to watch the next. William Regal, maybe.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:04, archived)

regal wouldn't lower himself to that kind... oh wait, i just remembered he kissed vinnie mac's bum

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:05, archived)

Dignity is an early casualty of any wrestling career.
How Vince McMahon has avoided being murdered by one of his 'roided-up employees is beyond me.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:10, archived)

that's why they instigated the wellness policy
so vince is the only one on drugs and can avoid being pummeled
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:16, archived)

she fell into a machine at a pie factory and got made into pies and they sold all the pies before anyone realised

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:54, archived)

what type of pie?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:56, archived)

steak and kidney I think it was

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:56, archived)

jesus
is nothing sacred?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:57, archived)

she farts from her pudendum onto Japanese businessmen's faces for cash

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:57, archived)

she calls those "clappers"

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:58, archived)

poss nsfw
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:12, archived)

Only if you work in a seminary.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:16, archived)

Do you think the guy's thinking
Yes...I've ARRIVED
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:21, archived)

I thought it was three girls.
Didn't examine it in great detail, though.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:24, archived)

I had a second look, I can't see a man either

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:27, archived)

Oh shit, so it was!
Now I'm even more confused. Who set this up??
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:27, archived)

I think this is what women get up to when there are no men around.
Once the feminazis wipe us out, it'll go on nonstop.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:29, archived)

can you imagine how disappointed I am that it's not on the popular page yet?

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:33, archived)

No.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:39, archived)

what on earth

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:18, archived)

the odd thing is that someone thought that would be a good idea for a porno

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:20, archived)

My boss saw that over my shoulder and now I've been sacked from my job as a primary school teacher
THANKS M8
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:22, archived)

cool

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:44, archived)

onday e, Don Cheadle!
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:53, archived)

He is excellent as Mouse in Devil In A Blue Dress.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:57, archived)

i can't remember why i outed frank as don cheadle but i'm sticking to my guns

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:01, archived)

might go up the pub then

( mongychops, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:58, archived)

mongy mongy mongy mongy mongy mongy mongy
mongy mongy mongy mongy mongy mongy mongy

/mod edit: shut up you idiot
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:09, archived)

It'sbeen Monday for fucking ages.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:27, archived)

yes, so I'm right and it is monday

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:30, archived)

Any other pearls of wisdom you have for us?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 16:31, archived)

placeholder for new, more interesting thread

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:13, archived)

please discuss the shittest christmas present you've ever had in the meantime

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:14, archived)

I've never had a particularly poor Christmas present, I appreciate that what ever I get, it shows that somebody has thought of me during the wonderful holiday times of chrimblybops

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:16, archived)

oh come on, you've never had a lynx africa set and known it was the free one in the boots 3 for 2 deal?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:21, archived)

Hmm, I guess there was a time when we were kids that I'd get that sort of thing from am Aunt,
But I was young enough and stupid enough and common enough to think lynx was brilliant. I even had one of those short sleeves shirts with the flames on.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:23, archived)

i used to wear bernies and had a hoodie from the skate shop

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:25, archived)

I also had bernies, and if I got a new pair, I would spend 20 minutes rubbing the grip tape of my skateboard on them to get that "I carry my skateboard everywhere look"
I also experimented with different lace configuration on my over sized Vans sk8 shoes.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:29, archived)

fuck off dozers

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:31, archived)

a box of chocolates, which had already been opened, from the supermarket I used to work in
I threw them straight in the bin in front of the manager who gave them to me.
( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:29, archived)

My Granny, every year until her death
a satsuma and a pair of socks

Edit: though I'm considering continuing the tradition with my nephews & neices
( fuscous, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:33, archived)

I've never really been given anything I didn't like
but I did have one instance where I was told that someone didn't like the present I gave them. Ungrateful cunt. I don't see that person anymore.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:40, archived)

my dad got me a cream chunky knit jumper one year
it was exactly like the kind of thing he'd buy himself and exactly unlike anything he'd ever seen me wear
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:46, archived)

More interesting than a thread about Grrrmachine letting shambles put his finger up his bum?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:15, archived)

can we discuss the causes of the war in syria?

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:16, archived)

Yeah, what do you think the causes of the war in Syria are?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:21, archived)

muzzers

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:30, archived)

only if the blame lies entirely with jeremy corbyn

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:22, archived)

what is he trying to hide with that beard anyway?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:28, archived)

Wispy paedo beard?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:29, archived)

osama bin laden

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:29, archived)

apparently he's alive and well and living in the bahamas buy my book

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:30, archived)

prolly with the krays

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:31, archived)

His chin.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:31, archived)

sounds like some chinese communist

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:32, archived)

Haha, Chin Chong Chinaman!
We could be racist with impunity, when I was at school!

I think this is why I have such a low opinion of the British public.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:38, archived)

I'm a little out of sorts, Frank hasn't told me what day it is yet

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:30, archived)

also, he said he was planning on starting loads of threads today, yet he hasn't started any
he's so full of shit
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:32, archived)

Maybe he died.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:38, archived)

hey it's ok, he's here now

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:49, archived)

I've been pondering Three Men & a Baby
Neither Guttenberg, Selleck or Danson, even at the height of their fame, were quite what you'd call 'A List' movie stars. Do you think that the makers of that film were hoping that their combined fame would be more than the some of its parts?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:39, archived)

Neither of them could hold a candle to Paul Reiser, it's true.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:41, archived)

Oh, Reiser was a treasure
and let's not forget Jon Lovitz. The man has talent dripping from his very pores
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:45, archived)

What was your favourite school subject?
After taking the register, my art teacher would always ask "Any queries?", followed by a sly smirk as he said "Not you, Godby".

Because teachers could call kids gay in the '90s.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:30, archived)

Dunno lol

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:34, archived)

can't you just make something up?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:34, archived)

Hang on, I'll Google it.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:36, archived)

i used to enjoy to woodwork class because we got to piss about with tools and injure a class mate
putting stuff on the belt sander until it caught fire was always fun
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:37, archived)

oh and turning all the gas taps on in the lab and running away
haha, those were the days
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:39, archived)

Haha, those were the days, causing dangerous working environments for others, hahahaha

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:41, archived)

i remember we nicked a bunch of magnesium strips form the lab once and chucked them in puddles in the playground
that was fun
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:46, archived)

a guy in my science class put tinfoil from the top hole of a plug socket into one of the bottom holes*
then turned it on. that was a laugh

*pfft!
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:50, archived)

One kid tried to inhale gas from the taps on the desk and then wanted to blow a fireball.
He instead vomited on the desk.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:52, archived)

was it flaming vomit?

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:54, archived)

No, just vomity vomit

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:55, archived)

the less successful follow-up show to blanketty blank

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 14:51, archived)

"you're the proud winner of this week's Vommity Vom Bucket and Mop!"

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:07, archived)

I guy in my science class cut through the power cable of a glue gun and all the lights went out
He proper shit himself, it was brilliant.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:00, archived)

What, like actually shit himself, like McBeef did?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:01, archived)

No, it was more in a figurative sense
I'm guessing some sort of circuit breaker had kicked in or summat and he knew the teacher was going to kill him.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:03, archived)

I'm happy that "shit yourself like McBeef" is now part of the b3ta lexicon
one day he'll be immortalized in verb form.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:05, archived)

"I thought it was just going to be a fart, but then I McBeefed"

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:06, archived)

It's brilliant really.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:13, archived)

it's a very apt word
"urgh, look, that drunk cunt has McBeefed".
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:15, archived)

I think Fenris would be sad to know he'd been usurped in this fashion.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 14:56, archived)

My idiot friend left a bunsen burner on directly underneath a shelf stacked with the physics teacher's prized collection of 'New Scientist' copies.
Hilarity and second degree burns ensued.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 14:14, archived)

Our chemistry teacher would have be leave the room, if he ever demonstrated anything in the fume cupboard,
on the grounds that my asthma made me more likely to suffer ill effects from the fumes. Not sure he understood how the fume cupboard worked.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 14:29, archived)

he probably knew very well how state-funded equipment for education worked.

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 14:49, archived)

State funded, yes, but this was a Kentish Grammar School.
I've worked hard to squander my privileged educational background.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 14:59, archived)

same here :(

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:01, archived)

No need for the sad face.
I've deliberately rebelled against a two-tier, selective education system. Join with me, brother!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:06, archived)

No
I believe in tiered education to keep my future offspring away from thicko plebs like Windy Pig.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:08, archived)

I'm going to get a Kickstarter going
to have him exported to Poland.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:10, archived)

I think he understood perfectly how it worked, he wanted you to go and stand outside in the hope that the fumes from the cupboard would reach you and trigger a life-threatening asthma attack.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:31, archived)

more fun if you burn it

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:51, archived)

if only i had listened in chemistry lessons

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:54, archived)

haha it looks like you said bum!

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:57, archived)

oh hahaha so it does!
I like to burn strangers in public toilets!
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:00, archived)

Either you're getting confused with something else
or your idea of 'fun' is a bit odd
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:57, archived)

chucking magnesium strips in water and watching the effects was pretty cool to 12 year old me
so yeah, it was fun, i think you're the odd one here tbh
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:07, archived)

Magnesium does not react with water to any significant extent
www.webelements.com/magnesium/chemistry.html
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:42, archived)

think we might've set it on fire first
thanks for your insight though, you big prick
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:51, archived)

no problem m8
let me know if you need help with anything else
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:55, archived)

stay away from me

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:58, archived)

haha yeah

( MONO!, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:37, archived)

My favorite subject in school is History. History is my favorite subject because to me learning about the history of the world and learning why wars were started and the sorts of mistakes humans have made in the past to me it is all so very interesting.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:37, archived)

Wait, found a future serial killer.
I love science-biology, human anatomy. thats the one class that I looked forward to each day. I find the human body to be very interesting. I guess that's why I want to be an ultrasound tech.
I also likes learning about the halocaust and wars.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:38, archived)

English!
It goes without saying that English is my favourite school subject. The reason I like it is because it's simple and an international language. I can communicate with people from different cultures through this international language.
( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:39, archived)

My favorite subject in school is English. I love it because I used to take it for granted and think that since english was my primary language I knew everything about it. At my new school I beagn to enjoy it. All of the history behind it. I also enjoy it

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:40, archived)

I have always liked, since grade school. It helps that
I absolutely love math!it comes easy to me and I'm good at it. I like working with numbers. Also with math there's only one right answer, unlike in other subjects when there can be more than one answer to a question.
( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:44, archived)

I think we're finding the same autists
enjoy Math because I like how everything is either right or wrong there is no in between. Also its fun when you get this really hard problem and you finally figure it out...its like wow i just figured that out all by my self. Great sense of accomplishment.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:44, archived)

maths

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:47, archived)

Copy and paste, not my fault, take it up with college net

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:48, archived)

ok, will do

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:49, archived)

Oh dear,
I have to(sic) subjects that I enjoy and look foward to daily English and Chemistry!!!
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:52, archived)

aftermath

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:49, archived)

aftermaths

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:51, archived)

Bit of a wanker
I would have to say that my favorite subject is English(though i am a deplorable speller). Thw whole concept of a strand of letters a symbol that makes such an uninteresting sound, but while group with others makes a word. And then a group of words make a sentence and from there paragraphs which lead to stories. Stories which in every sence of the world is shaped altered and mode by yor whim. Theentire plan of existance within the soty is under your cotrole from the very air to the people within it. You are as a God or could possibly be considered God. For isn't it by your choice your desire to make the world within the story as it is each and ever turn of the page every page which adds more to the world is utterly your and unike no other of it can exist ever again and it swells fills a book to form a world of its own where lives are held within and they livwe through there own times a time be it of happyness anf jpoy to sorrow and pain. the entire concept of it is so...intoxicating. That is why i love English for the writing is just amazingly unike and can neveer be exactly the same with what you are goin through and what is goin through your mind at the time it is a once in alifetime thing that even as you die it will remain and carry on a legacy for you.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:55, archived)

colouring in or sticking

( mongychops, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:45, archived)

So geography then.
Haha haha
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:48, archived)

+ it to the man

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:51, archived)

www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-35023713
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:51, archived)

Yer I saw that, didn't realise he was the last one

( mongychops, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:59, archived)

you prolly shouldn't reveal your surname on here

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:48, archived)

I assumed Godby was his first name

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:49, archived)

what sort of ridiculous pleb school did you go to
where teachers used first names?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:51, archived)

urrg, i image some kind of 'comprehensive'
how vile
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:53, archived)

I'll be honest, it was a horrible school.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:53, archived)

i think it's both

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:52, archived)

not my surname, is it
no art teacher is likely to call *me* homosexual
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:50, archived)

which synonym for homosexual did they use then?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:53, archived)

the games teachers were particularly fond of "poofter".

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:07, archived)

One of our PE teachers was called Bummer Burt.
I don't think he was an actual bummer but he used to get hilariously angry if anybody said it.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:39, archived)

wait, so people called you cuntface even at school?
no wonder you're such a miserable bastard
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:54, archived)

I liked English cos it took about three weeks to do all the coursework so I could dedicate the rest of the two years to smoking tabs and fingering [redacted] behind the sports hall.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:53, archived)

[redacted] Godby
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:57, archived)

He had a deliciously greasy arsehole.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:58, archived)

ohhhh, shambles and grrry went to the same school
no wonder they fight like schoolgirls
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:59, archived)

Grrry is just upset that after all that gentle fingerings in their youth, shambles moved on.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:00, archived)

There was nothing gentle about it
and he never trims his nails.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:07, archived)

at primary school it was probably pe
then at secondary school, science
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:56, archived)

Oh man. I miss dangling upside down from the wall bars in my vest and pants.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:59, archived)

Pee

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:59, archived)

i think all that college.net has turned you into a yank
here in the uk, we say 'widdle', thankyouverymuch!
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:08, archived)

www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsH/7656-3012.jpg
( vladimir, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:59, archived)

Pe'

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:02, archived)

were you in the special thicko group that did a single "Science" GCSE then?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:02, archived)

sort of
my school just did the double award gcse instead of separating into physics, chem & bio. i was in the nerd group at the top though. our teacher used to take the piss out of the thicky groups
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:06, archived)

yeah, mine had four groups
a batch of twenty thickos doing "Science", knowing most of them would fail that anyway. Then two groups of 35 doing double award. Then an elite class of ten who get three separate GCSEs for the sciences, and all the cum they could suck out of the teachers' gonads along the way.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:09, archived)

i got to do three separate gcses for science and i don't remember there being any cum sucking

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:16, archived)

nah, that's just how my school did it
they set up a special tier for kids on the Oxbridge route, and everyone else had to fit in around that.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:18, archived)

i may have just suppressed the memory tbh

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:31, archived)

I have little or no memory of school to be honest
if someone told me I'd never gone, I'd probably believe them. And so would everyone I know.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:12, archived)

Apart from the glue gun thing obviously
I guess I must have gone at least once
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:13, archived)

I occasionally have nightmares where I'm back at school to finish my A-Level coursework
while still aware that I've already left school and got a degree.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:14, archived)

I still have dreams where I'm working for a company I haven't worked for in nearly 15 years
I wonder why our brains torture us so
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:19, archived)

I dream about flying and fucking.
You two are fucking rubbish.

Hth.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:27, archived)

^ has wet dreams about raping seagulls

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:30, archived)

Gulls can fuck off. I'm all about the waders and terns.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:37, archived)

Gulls can fuck off. I'm all about the waders and terns. Mike Score makes me feel funny inside
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:43, archived)

I am rubbish in dreaming
Is lucid dreaming really real, do you reckon? I've had a couple of instances where I've been dreaming and wondered if I'm dreaming, but it's never come to anything.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:31, archived)

Yerr. I've done it since I was a kid.
I thought it was normal. I just have to walk down the road I grew up on and knock on Miggy's front door.

This probably won't work for you unless you grew up three doors down from a bloke called Miggy.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:41, archived)

Damn it, Miggy lives across the road from me

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:51, archived)

www.wikihow.com/Have-a-Wake-Induced-Lucid-Dream-(WILD)
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 14:13, archived)

biology because there were sometimes rude pictures in the text books

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:30, archived)

everyone ele's biology book had a description of syphilis
mine had a photo :(
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:37, archived)

^ used family photographs as bookmarks ^

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:42, archived)

I just remembered our biology teacher used to chain smoke while he was teaching
I imagine that's frowned on now
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 13:54, archived)

the register
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiWJWLCoH2M
( vladimir, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 14:02, archived)

sex education
hahahaha
( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 14:23, archived)

I think this thread's run its course now

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 14:46, archived)

do a new one
maybe about disappointing christmas presents or something
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 14:51, archived)

I don't like starting two threads in a row
it deprives others of the opportunity to promote sparkling conversation
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:03, archived)

i don't post new threads because frank always posts one seconds after i do

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:04, archived)

all the more reason why you should
you're the breadcrumbs that work as bait for other threads.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 15:09, archived)

We've got new candidates this week, all fresh faced and excited about applying for university.
Did you uni?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:01, archived)

Yeah, I did uni
spent about 10% of my time in lectures, and the rest of it setting up the student radio station.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:03, archived)

Amateur radio? Fucking hell, that's worse than manolithmanchild and his webcomics

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:09, archived)

hardly amateur
it was full FM by the time I left
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:13, archived)

Nerd

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:13, archived)

yeah, it was fucking awful
going to gigs three or four times a week with all the free tickets we got from record labels. I'd much rather have stayed home playing dungeons or dragons.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:22, archived)

maybe if you had gone to your lectures instead
you wouldn't have to work in eastern europe
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:24, archived)

lectures were less than 8 hours a week

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:25, archived)

still, it got you that third in home economics

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:32, archived)

it's more worthwhile than a degree in economics

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:40, archived)

I liked it when the bogs in the chemistry block had the phrase ARTS DEGREES - PLEASE TAKE ONE scrawled above the bog roll dispensers

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:57, archived)

Ha, chemistry! It's almost like a real science.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:21, archived)

Have I touched a nerve here?
I've seen the sort of people that go to amateur radio things, and my view of you is forever changed.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:25, archived)

nah, you are on the money, to be fair
when I signed up at fresher's fair, the whole outfit was two engineering students in matching Star Trek t-shirts. The tech side of things was a complete nerdfest.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:26, archived)

that must have been terrible, what with you hating live music and all

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:29, archived)

when did I say I hate live music?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:37, archived)

fucking hell, i thought it'd be a mildly amusing callback but clearly not

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:46, archived)

He's obviously on his period.
Hahaha, misogynism
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:48, archived)

I ain't no hollaback girl

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:55, archived)

lies

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:58, archived)

well, maybe a little

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:03, archived)

^wispaback girl

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:38, archived)

More like Wispa mulitpack girl, this being b3ta after all.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:24, archived)

I uni'd it, uni'd hard

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:03, archived)

have you noticed how young students look nowadays?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:14, archived)

and what's the deal with airline food?

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:21, archived)

They look around 18 or so. Same as always. Creepy old peaedo

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:21, archived)

you're doing it wrong m8
paedo fail
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:28, archived)

Well, you know what they say, if there's hair on the wicket, you're a paedo for checking and you should hand yourself in to the police.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:38, archived)

no

( MONO!, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:17, archived)

yes, for six weeks, then I joined a band, dropped out of uni and generally had an enormous amount of fun

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:18, archived)

Till you went mad.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:21, archived)

^ proof that idiots are easily entertained

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:23, archived)

unamusing disparaging remark here

( mongychops, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:27, archived)

I expected this from the others, not from you

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:31, archived)

gonna bookmark that post i can see it be relevant often

( mongychops, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:34, archived)

FINE then, maybe I'll bookmark all YOUR posts, throw them back in your face in an argument, see how you like it

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:41, archived)

there

( mongychops, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:43, archived)

is no need to be upset

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:47, archived)

couldn't you have done both?
being in a band isn't exactly time consuming
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:44, archived)

I was getting home at 4am and unloading the van then sleeping all day
plus I'd lost all interest in chemistry by the time the course started, no idea why I ever thought that's what I wanted to do
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:47, archived)

This sounds more like the lifestyle of a green grocer.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:08, archived)

sounds good

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 10:55, archived)

nah, i got pissed up and into debt by another means

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:05, archived)

nice

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:18, archived)

Is "fuck a fresher" still a thing?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:06, archived)

only if you have written consent

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:07, archived)

I've got a note from her mum.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:08, archived)

that's a green light
smash her back doors in #ladz
( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:27, archived)

they added "re" into it
and now kids are being hospitalised for sticking their cocks into glasses of fruity alka-seltzer.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:11, archived)

yeah, they call them traffic light parties though

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:26, archived)

haha yeah like sex is a real thing.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:29, archived)

no, I'm not answering that, I'm sorry

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:18, archived)

taking this to mean you dropped out of a Media Studies course for failing the resits.

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:19, archived)

YOU TAKE IT UP THE ARSE MORE LIKE

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:20, archived)

from the FAQ:

There is somebody really annoying on the board, is it OK to be rude to them?
Absolutely not. If you are really annoyed by another boarder, you can click the 'Ignore' button under their posts and everything they post will be hidden from you (you can always un-ignore them later if you like). 
Please don't be horrible to other people just because they are new, or you didn't like their picture, or posted something that bothers you. If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything.

If there is somebody on the board who doesn't know what to do, you can always point them in the direction of this FAQ in a friendly way (or use the secret code).

There are moderators about to deal with people who abuse the messageboard, replying to somebody calling them a cunt isn't very constructive and will just encourage people to keep trolling.

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:26, archived)

Hello new person. Please read our FAQ. Cheers.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:27, archived)

I've been banned from that page :(

( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:30, archived)

well that's food for thought
You know what, I think reading this has made me a better person. Thanks SS.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:27, archived)

no worries
maybe one day we could create a utopia
( $$ ✅, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:31, archived)

my god, I hope so

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:32, archived)

can I be the bloke with the yellow suit and the gas cylinder?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:34, archived)

i'm wearing a a t-shirt under a shirt today and the t-shirt sleeves are longer than the shirt sleeves
it's really annoying me and i wish i had noticed before i left the house :(
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:41, archived)

Just nip out and get a long sleeve shirt.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:46, archived)

are you out of your mind?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:04, archived)

just strip naked and start screaming

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 11:48, archived)

sounds reasonable

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:05, archived)

cut up a load of paper napkins
then tape them to the inside edge of your shirt sleeves, for that authentic 19th century scullery maid look.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:07, archived)

Failed the first year, retook it at my own expense,
plodded through the second year, gradually realised that I didn't want to be there, quit during the first week of year 3. Money well spent, I'm sure we can all agree.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:24, archived)

i too have 3 years of debt and no degree!

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:26, archived)

Ha, Portsmouth was so horrible to be in I lasted less than 6 months.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Dec 2015, 12:30, archived)