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What's your routine?
That thing that you try to do at the same time each day or week?
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 9:40, archived)

Wake up, fall out of bed, drag a comb across my head, find my way downstairs and drink a cup, and looking up notice I am late, find my coat and grab my hat, make the bus in seconds flat

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 9:49, archived)

+ gotta get down on Fri-day

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 9:52, archived)

ah, ah ah ah

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vladimir, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:09, archived)

staying alive, staying alive

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manolith hooray for me, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:10, archived)

alright manolith

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vladimir, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:21, archived)

i am now!

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manolith hooray for me, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:21, archived)

x-)

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vladimir, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:25, archived)

going up the juicer at around 5

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mongychops, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 9:56, archived)

happy hour?

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:00, archived)

nah it's just when people go out, aint no happy in my local

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mongychops, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:01, archived)

not when you're there

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:03, archived)

some people need telling that's all, few home truths will do them good

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mongychops, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:04, archived)

I reckon goth pubs should have an unhappy hour.

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Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:15, archived)

But if things got a bit rowdy they might need to hire an insecurity guard.

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Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:15, archived)

I'm on my third Temple of Love of the morning.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:17, archived)

^ clearly wants More

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:21, archived)

Shit, now I wanna listen to the Sisters but I just realized I haven't got them on this music player. :(

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Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:26, archived)

If only you had access to an internet.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:55, archived)

Of course I have that, but my PC is under my desk and to one side, and my earphone lead isn't quite long enough for me to get both channels while sat comfortably
and I can't listen on my phone because the reception here is terrible.

#zerothworldproblems
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Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 12:02, archived)

your life's a mess

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vladimir, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 12:03, archived)

can't really have one
alternate weeks i work 8.30-5 or 10.30-7
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manolith hooray for me, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 9:58, archived)

shittest dolly parton cover EVA

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mongychops, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:00, archived)

what a way to make a paycheck!

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manolith hooray for me, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:55, archived)

That song always reminds me of this
Which it seems that Dolly actually sang! Neve realised that

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aepxsl2lcsM
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:58, archived)

working alternate weeks, what a way to manolithing
barely getting by, it's all talking and no linking
they just abuse your mum, they should really stick to reddit
and the only fun he gets is to mod edit
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vladimir, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:16, archived)

<3 <3 <3

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manolith hooray for me, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:21, archived)

~~mum~~ nan
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:25, archived)

I quite often post on puerile digital arts websites round about this time

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:03, archived)

pretty bad habit mate
definitely worse than picking your nose
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:11, archived)

if picking your nose is such a bad thing, how come you can fit every single one of your digits inside your nostrils?

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:18, archived)

pretty clear evidence of the intelligent design theory, if you ask me

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:18, archived)

Is the penis classified as 'a digit' now?

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:25, archived)

I just pulled a hair out of my nose and it's made my eyes water
more on this story as it develops
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:55, archived)

pull hairs out of all your other body parts (except your big bald head, lol!)
and see how they compare in terms of eye-watering
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manolith hooray for me, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:59, archived)

I know you're joking
but I am going to do this
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:00, archived)

good, good
it's all coming together
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manolith hooray for me, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:04, archived)

why are they so long, thick and black though?
no other hair on my body is like that
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:09, archived)

because you touch yourself in the night times

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:14, archived)

sometimes I do it a little bit in the day times as well
don't tell
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:18, archived)

there's nothing wrong with that
all part of growing up
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:28, archived)

I sometimes get all shy and embarrassed in front of girls as well, especially ones I like
am I gay?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:34, archived)

absolutely

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:44, archived)

deffo

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mongychops, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:54, archived)

irrefutably

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manolith hooray for me, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 12:00, archived)

and a spaz
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Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 12:02, archived)

if you walked in to a gay bar, would you feel a dick?

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 12:03, archived)

if I asked you a rhetorical question, would you answer it?

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vladimir, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 12:04, archived)

I think you might be paddington bear

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vladimir, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 12:04, archived)

you can pick your friends
and you can pick your nose

but you shouldn't pick your friend's nose

/1991 big book of jokes
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manolith hooray for me, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:56, archived)

That's from a Paula Danziger book
probably "the cat ate my gymsuit"
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:59, archived)

it may well be

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manolith hooray for me, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:03, archived)

My dad used to tell that joke
He's dead now. Really makes you think.
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:59, archived)

maybe he wasn't telling it right

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manolith hooray for me, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:10, archived)

Ah, yes
He would say "you can't pick your friends nose", as opposed to shouldn't.
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:10, archived)

Maybe Two Hats's mum just has a *really* low tolerance threshold for shit jokes.

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Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:20, archived)

Oh, this was years after they'd separated
Maybe that's what ended their marriage in the first place. Seems a bit petty, but it depends I suppose.
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:28, archived)

Routine makes life shit and short.
Like your face.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:04, archived)

Minions pic: As soon as you realise you're doing something you've done before, STOP. Life is too short for repetition.

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:08, archived)

Like eating, having a shit or breathing.

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:08, archived)

Better like and share this.
It'll surely brighten my friends' days.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:11, archived)

stop trying to justify your wildly erratic bowel movements

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:12, archived)

a o
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:44, archived)

he has rhotic bowel movements
because he's got someone's tongue up his arse all day
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 12:00, archived)

I fail to get up when the alarm goes off, and thus am consistently late for work.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:07, archived)

at least you're consistent, that counts for something

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:11, archived)

Every day I stand in the shower at about 6.30 and wonder whether the dog will try and eat his shit today or not.

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:24, archived)

It's like the opening scene of American Beauty

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:35, archived)

I have so many routines that I think it's fair to say that I'm probably on some sort of spectrum
That being said, I only get mildly miffed if the routine is interupted. I don't go mental and threaten to kill myself or anything.
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:35, archived)

More like a zx81.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 10:38, archived)

www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-sinclair-zx-spectrum-vega-plus-console#/
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manolith hooray for me, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:05, archived)

Yes, that's exactly what I was talking about

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:06, archived)

i know

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manolith hooray for me, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:17, archived)

The size of an Atari Lynx, with the power of a Nintendo Gameboy.
Wouldn't it be easier to just release a load of ROMs the 3DS or something?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:24, archived)

FOR YOU, MAYBE

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:25, archived)

Well, no, I'd still expect someone else to do all the work.
I did download a ton of games from World of Spectrum, once, but they were only ever fired up once each out of nostalgic curiosity. Emulators are easy to find, can't honestly understand anyone playing money for this thing. It'd be like buying music on vinyl when CDs are available*.

*~~shameless attempt to bait the crowd~~
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:32, archived)

check out the number of cunts who've paid the "bargain" price to get three machines at once.
270 quid for retro nostalgia landfill.
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:35, archived)

With that in mind, I really can't begrudge them fleecing idiots with money to burn.
Also, 3 at once? LAN(dfill) party!
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:38, archived)

No routines here, every day is a unique exciting journey into the unknown

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broadsword w⚓, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:21, archived)

^ brain injured

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vladimir, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:23, archived)

^ had 50 dates with adam sandler

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:32, archived)

would you rather HAVE 50 dates with Adam Sandler
or watch 50 Dates with Adam Sandler?
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:43, archived)

Are you building Room 101?
'Cos I'll take the cage of rats, if it's still an option.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 11:47, archived)

I'd have a horny Celine Dion

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 12:02, archived)

it's all about the whip spiders these days, thanks facebook :(((

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vladimir, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 12:02, archived)

hancock, merton or skinner?

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manolith hooray for me, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 12:09, archived)

Tony, Mrs or Seymour?

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 12:10, archived)

no, i'm afraid the answer we were looking for was
herbie, walter de and b.f.
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manolith hooray for me, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 12:19, archived)

well one would only last an hour and a half
but the other, i could potentially kill him 50 times

that's a toughy
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manolith hooray for me, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 12:05, archived)

90 mins for a first date seems a bit short
I reckon this is worth its own thread
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 12:09, archived)

morning

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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 7:10, archived)

good mo-orning, Mis-ter Do-ove-ston
How. are. you. to. day?
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 7:16, archived)

yeah, it's probably too early for radiohead

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 8:20, archived)

Bonjour tout le monde

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 7:56, archived)

Bonjewer missus derrshapow!

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 8:17, archived)

time for an old chestnut
b3ta.com/talk/2123593
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 8:21, archived)

morning doves

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mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 7:57, archived)

my name is
www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/shocking-pictures-show-teenagers-injuries-7339709
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mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 7:58, archived)

take his mind off his burnt neck, and i see he has moved from bristol now

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mongychops, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 8:25, archived)

Yeah man, good morning, how's it going?
I'm feeling on top of the world
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Feb 2016, 8:06, archived)

Doov

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 8:17, archived)

Yá'át'ééh abíní

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 8:17, archived)

Fucking minions.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 8:19, archived)

Yó'úr náán hé'

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 8:23, archived)

hi doves, they keep saying about snow, and then i look out of the window and there is no snow :(

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mongychops, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 8:24, archived)

There's snow here.
You're clearly living in the wrong place.
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 8:31, archived)

more likely the snow is in the wrong place

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mongychops, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 8:49, archived)

Next it'll be the wrong type of snow.
Always with the British Rail excuses.
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 8:51, archived)

We were supposed to have had 4 inches at the weekend
Oh wait...that was just my wife! hahaha
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 8:32, archived)

none here either
this winter has been shit and rubbish
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 8:36, archived)

hey hun how are you

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 8:35, archived)

Ain't no morning thread like a Doveston morning thread.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 8:45, archived)

:(

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 8:48, archived)

We are all but the supermarket own-brand corn flakes to his Kellogg's.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 8:51, archived)

I prefer Tesco honey nut cornflakes to Kellogg's
There. I said it.
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 9:15, archived)

Good for you, 2H.
I tend to eat own-brand weetabix, and the difference is only noticeable at the very bottom of the range.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 9:22, archived)

~~range~~ box, where you find all the dead maggots.
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 9:26, archived)

To be fair, the smart price level rice krispies are really only any good for making krispy cakes
BUT IF PEOPLE PREFER THEM, THEN CHRIST ALMIGHTY IT'S A FREE COUNTRY. GOD BLESS THEM, I SAY
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 9:26, archived)

Sainsburys seem to have stopped doing their Basics rice crispies.
Chocolate corn flake cakes are now the order of the day.

Back in my student days, the Basics range had Ricicles and Frosties - a couple of large bags sorted my breakfast for a good chunk of the year.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 9:31, archived)

well this Brief History of Budget Cereals has been absolutely fascinating

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 9:36, archived)

I aim to inform and entertain.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 9:38, archived)

He's dreamy.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 8:51, archived)

alright forum chums
anyone got any experience with kali in a VM environment?
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spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 23:15, archived)

I once drank the Blood of Kali.
I fell into the black sleep of the kali ma, until some kid burnt my neck. I didn't like it.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 0:18, archived)

Evening all.
How's tricks?
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CowJam, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 20:26, archived)

no, u r dead

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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 20:43, archived)

+ 2 me

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 21:08, archived)

+ 2 u

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 21:26, archived)

+ 2 me

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 21:30, archived)

+ 2 unlimited

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 21:59, archived)

^lacks winged sandals^

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H.B.Mupps, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 22:16, archived)

shut up and kiss me

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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 17:48, archived)

How about I smear a string bag of fermented halibut heads over your cheeks and lips instead,
but in a sultry manner?
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 17:58, archived)

whatever turns you on

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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 18:01, archived)

Very accommodating of you.

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 18:01, archived)

between the cheeks?

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$$ ✅, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 17:59, archived)

hehe

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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 18:01, archived)

But I'm a married man!

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 18:05, archived)

But The Doveston...without your glasses you're .....
a dude
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 18:06, archived)

I can't multi task, soz

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mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 18:07, archived)

Terrible bullying

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H.B.Mupps, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 18:42, archived)

yer, ok

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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 18:44, archived)

Yup. Ok

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Feb 2016, 19:01, archived)

How positively EUROPEAN.

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 19:19, archived)

Urgh, that's disgusting and outrageous and offensive to all standards of decency
You DO NOT tell people to shut up
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 19:22, archived)

\o/

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Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 20:07, archived)

shut up MGT

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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 20:18, archived)

fuck off mgt

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mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 20:19, archived)

/o\

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Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 21:16, archived)

e y nan
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Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 19:32, archived)

hi

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MONO!, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:50, archived)

Sympathy reply

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H.B.Mupps, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 15:20, archived)

^
xx
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vladimir, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 15:24, archived)

What's the weirdest and/or hardest thing you've ever done?
imgur.com/gallery/RTc1EGL
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:30, archived)

If you work at a Brewster's restaurant you have to dress up as Brewster the Bear on your first day
so I did, and wanted to impress my boss so I hammed it right up in a massive bear costume, but you can never speak in case kids come back on different days and it's a different voice in the costume.

I had my boss in tears of laughter, he says I was the best bear he'd ever seen so he wasn't going to make me work behind the bar serving drinks to depressed wives and mothers, I would be the bear every fucking shift. Lucky me.
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:34, archived)

fuck off back to qotw

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:37, archived)

Oh yeah, there was that one time I fitted loft insulation upside down with no clothes on

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:38, archived)

*tumbleweed*

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:38, archived)

shit, I'm turning into Frank

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:45, archived)

This is a bit more "you"
i.imgur.com/TvtP08T.gif
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:41, archived)

The spongebob version of War Pigs had me howling with laughter, if that counts

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:43, archived)

I have never patronised a Brewster's.
Having read this story, I am very glad of that fact.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:42, archived)

I sat on the lap of a 20-stone bald bloke and polished his head with my furry hands
while his assorted brood cackled with glee. He whispered in my ear to get off him before he stabbed me in the lungs with his steak knife.
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:44, archived)

so I left and got the aforementioned job at Brewsters

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:45, archived)

I don't think I've even seen one before

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:46, archived)

Seen a Brewer's Fayre?
same company
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:47, archived)

Oh, there's one of those on clarence pier

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:51, archived)

I've driven past one, a few times.
Near Strood, if memory serves. Their radio ad jingle is embedded in my brain, too:
The brand new name in family pubs is Broooooosters! (to the tune of "today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic")
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:49, archived)

it makes me far too happy to think of grrrmachine trapped in a bear costume, unable to speak, prancing about having to entertain people
every day, day after day, grrrsyphus
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vladimir, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 15:22, archived)

i'd rather have my liver pecked out

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 15:42, archived)

I once did a poo whilst on acid
that was pretty weird, wasn't particularly hard though
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:42, archived)

~~whilst on acid~~ at Paul's
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:44, archived)

I expected this strikethrough

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:46, archived)

My chief weapon is fear.
Fear and surprise.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:53, archived)

haha I love Not the Nine O'Clock News

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:55, archived)

lol! Millicent Martin was the best.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:57, archived)

I once had a wank while on mescaline.
It was enjoyable, and a good deal more subjectively colourful than your run-of-the-mill wank.
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 15:03, archived)

~~mescal~~ ovalt
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 15:06, archived)

Hey, now I like to experiment, but I have my limits.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 15:17, archived)

pfffffft

(

vladimir, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 15:19, archived)

Your nan.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:47, archived)

oh now come on, really

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:52, archived)

It's 1 o'clock
Do you know where your nan is?

Alt: lol
Alt alt: I'm doing a course on WiFi. Probe Requests lol
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:58, archived)

^ Basement Jaxx B-side

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:00, archived)

I don't get this
but I'm sure it's jolly funny
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:07, archived)

where's your nan at :(
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rAOyh7YmEc
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:15, archived)

Oh, of course

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:16, archived)

when some friends of mine got their cat neutered, they were singing 'where's your womb at' to it
then someone noticed that written down it could be mistaken for 'where's your wombat', which sounds like a children's book
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:28, archived)

We have a children's book called Diary of a Wombat, if that's any good

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:30, archived)

I may have missed the point of what you posted

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:31, archived)

the important thing is that you recognised the word wombat

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:56, archived)

*runs outside to play WomBall*

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:59, archived)

Where are you playing; underground or overground?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:02, archived)

I like that
when my cat was neutered I customised its little body suit with lots of hand-drawn sponsors' logos so that it looked like an F1 driver. The vet got phenomenally upset about that.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:33, archived)

um, why? did you draw them on with a soldering iron while the cat was wearing it?

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:41, archived)

apparently a pet is not a plaything or a toy and I ought to appreciate the severity of the operation the poor creature went though
rather than giggling at its spastic walk as the sedatives wore off.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:42, archived)

yes :'(

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:02, archived)

I'm sorry for your loss

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:05, archived)

must be 2 and a half years now, she could have been pope :(

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:09, archived)

haha yeah

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:07, archived)

And now it's crashed
Probably something to do with my WiFi connection. The irnoy being that if I'd managed to complete the course, I probably could've fixed it. What a world.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:07, archived)

I'm making tutorial videos for a piece of software that doesn't work
maybe you're following one of my courses?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:11, archived)

Could be
This woman sounds very drab.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:13, archived)

Is she American?
I get specifically hired for projects just because I'm not.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:14, archived)

She's not actually
Which is unusual for these courses
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:16, archived)

Your nan requested my probe.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:09, archived)

You should send out a Probe Response
/learning
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:17, archived)

Your nan responded positively to my probe.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:19, archived)

The system works!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:21, archived)

I don't know exactly where my nans are
but I do know they look ready for a bit part in a Ray Harryhausen scene.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:09, archived)

Probably in Crete or summat then

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:19, archived)

my dad scattered my grandmother's ashes into the sea in front of all the family
forgetting that the wind always blows onshore, so we all copped a faceful of charred femur and coffin.

So about 15% of my grandmother is in the local tip, mixed into all the snotty tissues my aunts and cousins threw away that day.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:14, archived)

christ

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:19, archived)

~~hrist~~ omedy gold
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:23, archived)

lebowski

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:24, archived)

I don't think my dad had seen that

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:27, archived)

Did you find it funny?
If not, what other comedy films have you not enjoyed? Try to upset manolith, again, if at all possible.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:28, archived)

There's a name for people like you, you know
An ugly, lewd name.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:30, archived)

you frightful stirrer

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:30, archived)

He's a king mixer, and no mistake
very clean though
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:32, archived)

I like this reference

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:41, archived)

Thank god

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:45, archived)

He's almost one of those tiny plastic cricket bats with a hole through the middle

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:33, archived)

almost

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:33, archived)

I wish I knew what this was about.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:11, archived)

I can't watch Airplane any more, even though I loved it as a kid
and I turned Blazing Saddles off after 10 minutes because when it wasn't mindlessly obnoxious it was just dull.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:35, archived)

:O

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:37, archived)

oh no! He nearly said nigger! guffaw guffaw how did I not see that coming rofl

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:38, archived)

That's the stuff!
I got twenty minutes in to my second viewing of Spinal Tap, before switching it off due to it not making me laugh.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:05, archived)

I wish Woody Allen's parents had never emigrated
so that they'd have been killed in the holocaust and we'd never have to suffer any of his rambling droning whiny cinematic efforts.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 14:06, archived)

it's always a fuckin' travesty with him

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:28, archived)

This woman keeps laughing at what she's saying
Is she joking then? I don't get the joke!! What if it comes up in the test at the end!??!
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:33, archived)

She's flirting with you.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:35, archived)

I'm conflicted, because while she's talking about the ins and outs of WiFi in the most boring way possible
She has a slight rhotacism, which I'm starting to find charming.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:38, archived)

tell her she has a really rhotic accent and watch her blush
I used to do that with my students* all the time.

*adults over the age of 25, you sick cunt
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:41, archived)

cor, i'd never seen that word
it's a good one
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:42, archived)

Wow, I showed you something!
Well there you go.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:44, archived)

ask manolith he's the go to person in understanding shit over rated american comedy lol

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:35, archived)

Can you recommend a comedy TV show I can watch in the evenings?
Not American though, the yanks aren't funny at all.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:46, archived)

I don't think there are any funny tv programmes any more
and the ones that used to be funny are no longer funny because a lot has changed since then
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:49, archived)

this is the conclusion I'm coming to
It's either endless panel shows, awful family friend BBC stuff, or cringe comedy that riffs off how fucking awkward and anti-social the UK is as a whole.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:54, archived)

I dunno I don't really bother watching telly any more, possibly for the reasons you describe

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:56, archived)

well I just bought a tv and now I don't know what to do with it

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:56, archived)

you can't even put photographs on top of these modern sets

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:57, archived)

or a nice carriage clock

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:30, archived)

you can even get wall-mounted flatscreen fireplaces now,
i kid you not

in the future we'll all just live in featureless white cells
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:33, archived)

no
The funniest shows I've seen in the last 5 years are all american
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:49, archived)

Curb, 30 Rock, Parks & Rec, The Unbreakeable Kimmy Schmidt
But they're american. So you'll miss out.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:52, archived)

I liked people just do naink

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:53, archived)

And toast

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:53, archived)

friday night dinner was ok for jews

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:57, archived)

oh yeah, I quite like that

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:57, archived)

boy meets girl was sort of funny, but it does push male transgender down your throat

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:05, archived)

what, topanga had a cock?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:09, archived)

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b069hzxw

www.channel4.com/programmes/toast-of-london

yes i can hear you clem fandango
(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:10, archived)

I got enough laughs out of The Crying Game thanks

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:12, archived)

well i suggested 3 other shows, YOU ARE WELCOME....cunt..

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:14, archived)

alright, keep what's left of your hair on, grandad

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:16, archived)

funny enough i liked count arthur strong about a nuts old man

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:22, archived)

That was bad enough on the radio.
"Ha ha, it's funny 'cos he's got dementia" was an inexplicably successful premise.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:24, archived)

blimey you lot are a tough crowd, if it makes you chuckle its comedy, and grrry wanted british comedy and i assumed recent , if not he can just stick porridge and steptoe and son on

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:28, archived)

I'm going to check out everything you've recommended mongy
and even if it's not my cup of tea I appreciate the help, you're a real star
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:29, archived)

you might not like people just do nothing, it's about chavs, toast is good, and vic and bobs house of fools was good if you like their brand of silliness

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:32, archived)

Vic & Bob's House of Rehashed Material, more like.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:33, archived)

are you a bitter out of work comedy script writer or saink

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:34, archived)

I'm not remotely funny, mongy.
BBC Three should give me my own series.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:36, archived)

bbc3 has gone, i tried looking at it online, it loaded, i turned it off

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:39, archived)

Cuckoo was alright.
Other than Mongrels, BBC Three had little to recommend it.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:41, archived)

did you not like badults, gavin and stacey, mighty boosh, uncle, bluestone 42?, the list goes on

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:47, archived)

Excellent use of the licence fee, there.
Bad Education was alright, I suppose.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:52, archived)

we are like chalk and cheese

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:56, archived)

Mismatched buddy cop drama material, right here.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:59, archived)

I think you are forgetting that everything is shit and rubbish

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:40, archived)

i like a sitcom don't i, i try not to mention it tho

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:48, archived)

as for Toast, it looks good
but then it mentions David Brent and Alan Partridge, who represent the death knell of British comedy as the unfunniest fucking fucks ever to besmirch the tv screen, pair of cunts.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:14, archived)

the Office was good,
but had the unfortunate side-effect of making Ricky Gervais famous. Which ruined a whole load more besides British comedy.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:18, archived)

www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-35594271
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:54, archived)

yeah i saw that, an end to gaynes, sadtimes

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:56, archived)

no because you're a xenophobic fool and don't deserve good comedy
watch 2 pints of lager and a packet of fucking crisps for the rest of eternity
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:54, archived)

One of my work colleagues won't watch any tv or movies that are american
because he "can't stand americans". I really don't know how to respond to that.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:55, archived)

fill him full of lead,
then jump up and down waving a ten gallon hat, whooping and going yeehaw
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:57, archived)

then get a cuppa cawfee on the corner of 53rd and 4rd

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:58, archived)

someone get me a cawn dawg

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:03, archived)

then speed off in a '60s Chevrolet,
do a jump over a barn so the police can't follow and they crash into the barn and chickens fly about everywhere and the Sheriff throws a chicken out of his car and shoos it away with his hat while spitting feathers out and throws his hat on the floor cos you got away and a tramp that saw the whole thing looks in his cup
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:14, archived)

seems like a perfectly valid statement to me

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:00, archived)

It's like saying I won't watch porn
because I have on interest in pool cleaning or plumbing
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:02, archived)

I don't watch american porn either
because it's ridiculously unrealistic cosmetically-enhanced people in entirely improbable scenarios burbling on in their awfully grating accents for far too long when they could just shut up and get to the point.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:05, archived)

unlike czech porn, where an ugly bloke walks up to a girl and says "10,000 kroner for anal?"
and she says ok so they go somewhere unglamorous but convenient and he does what he needs to do in 5 minutes while she makes no pretense about enjoying it. I can relate to that.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:06, archived)

You can relate because you are related. Cos that's your mum. And your nan. And your dad.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:25, archived)

Is italy so bad that you're still posting here for entertainment?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:26, archived)

I'm eating cheese between meetings.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:43, archived)

try and get them to surrender before 3pm, then you can go home early

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:01, archived)

those are the only reasons i watch porn

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:06, archived)

American animations like Rick and Morty, Futurama and Metalocalypse? Fine
American comedies where you see actual american faces in them? tedious bollocks that confuses shouting for jokes.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:56, archived)

I think you're wrong here
I've not seen anything that matches what you just described.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:57, archived)

alright, I'll give the ones you mentioned a go
but if my equally-if-not-more xenophobic wife starts ranting and raving about how awful they are, I'm taking it out on you
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:01, archived)

ok

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:02, archived)

Sorry, I just watched ten minutes of Curb on youtube
and now I want the Zika virus to completely ravage continental north america to make sure nothing like that ever gets made ever again in the entire history of humanity.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:21, archived)

- something contrived happens to frustrate Larry David's ambitions
- Larry David gets cross about it, but doesn't actually resolve anything
- repeat, ad infinitum

Comedy gold, apparently.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:30, archived)

sounds a bit like Curb Your Enthusiasm to me

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:02, archived)

I disagree

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:03, archived)

in that case you are wrong,
because i just watched a clip of it to make sure i was thinking of the right thing, and it was exactly two Americans shouting at each other.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:03, archived)

But it's not all shouting, instead of jokes

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:04, archived)

they mustn't be putting the jokes on youtube then,
and given the titles of the clips that are there are things like "funniest ever bit" and "hilarious clip" i feel reasonably led to a certain conclusion
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:06, archived)

Larry David isn't funny.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:10, archived)

^ tggi

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:11, archived)

you're an idiot

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:21, archived)

you love Americans so much you eat cheesecake with a fork

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:22, archived)

i'm so american i just inhale it all in one go

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:54, archived)

come on, you don't need to steal shambles' schtick, I'm sure you've got your own personality tucked up in there somewhere

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:22, archived)

no, fuck off
if you're going to make ludicrous generalisations, i'm not going to bother putting any effort in
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:30, archived)

you're doing what Isaac Hayes did when south Park mocked scientology
where it's ok for us to make all sorts of daft comments on here day in, day out, but as soon as it's something YOU like you throw your toys out the pram and start hurling around insults.

"American comedy" is a broad enough statement to encompass the sort of mass-market cable-channel dross that gets churned out to keep 300million+ yanks happy each evening. If you've got a recommendation for a show outside that category then I'm all ears, but try to keep the bloobloo to a minimum pls, you're a mod ffs.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:34, archived)

i saw The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt a while ago,
it was better than i might have expected, if i'd have heard of it beforehand.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:35, archived)

i don't really like american comedies but i'm scared to voice my opinion now incase i get banned :(

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:38, archived)

their society is very different from ours and difficult to relate to,
unless you're some kind of hipster who's on a mission to convert every British city into San Francisco or something.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:40, archived)

Their crime dramas are a lot more fun than ours, though.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:44, archived)

yeah ok i'll grant you that,
in a sort of "actually doing any basic research would just limit our vision" kind of way
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:45, archived)

40minutes of mildly entertaining telly
vs. 2 x 2hrs of miserable people plodding about a pretty backdrop and maybe solving the crime after much frowning

I know which I'd rather watch.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:51, archived)

did any of their detectives drive around in a Mk 2 Jag? No?
Case closed.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:52, archived)

one had a mark3, infact the only time jaguar paid to be on american tv, guess the show?

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:55, archived)

Fox News

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:56, archived)

RIGHT THATS IT IM LEAVING 4EVA

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:57, archived)

oh shit, got to be something classy, I dunno, Miami Vice?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:58, archived)

come on, black xj6

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:58, archived)

Batman

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:59, archived)

I dunno, I already said I don't watch Yank tv, it's probably something daft like Cagney and Lacey

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:03, archived)

poor ewar woo woo

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:01, archived)

Night Rider

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:01, archived)

static-secure.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2013/6/20/1371738563804/Edward-Woodward-in-The-Eq-010.jpg
(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:04, archived)

I've googled the answer now, never heard of it
well played mongy
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:06, archived)

blimey, it was great, possibly before your time

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:07, archived)

my mum used to let me stay up to watch it sometimes

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:09, archived)

yeah it's all a bit like The Antiques Roadshow Squad

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:55, archived)

for good reason:
wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com/blogs/tinseltalk/files/2013/09/BB.jpg
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:46, archived)

also they have massive budgets,
whereas most of our shows could be made by sixth form drama students.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:48, archived)

I'm pretty sure that the treatment Walt required wouldn't have been covered by the NHS.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:48, archived)

it even says "incurable lung cancer" in the comic
so he'd go into a hospice rather than return to work.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:51, archived)

Ooh, there could be a crossover with Ricky Gervais' Derek.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:56, archived)

to be fair, I would laugh if he died of cancer

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:58, archived)

Gervais?
I'd happily watch that.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:02, archived)

no i'm not, at all
and the things i like get mocked all the fucking time. that's what i'd expect.
but you outright stated that all american comedy is out of the question because it's all the same, which is ridiculous. there is a great deal of terrible american comedy, just like there is from any other place, but you can't dismiss it all
also, it's not 'bloobloo' to think that your brand of sweeping generalisation is annoying.
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:52, archived)

it is a bit bloobloo to reply with "fool", "idiot" and "fuck off" before you even make your point about sweeping statements though
I know you like Sunny, fair play, I can't stand that sort of stuff, so maybe as an aficionado of yank culture you can recommend some gem of theirs that I might not know about.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:56, archived)

I managed one episode of Always Sunny, based on manolith and 2Hats' endorsement.
I won't ever get that time back.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:05, archived)

yeah, i just think that dismissing an entire swathe of something because you 'don't like americans' is very lazy and foolish
i imagine you've had things like arrested development recommended to you before. i really enjoy that, community, parks & rec and 30 rock. none of them conform to your 'just shouting instead of jokes' complaint. whether you don't like them for other, more coherent reasons is down to you
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:10, archived)

arrested development is more like a soap

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:12, archived)

tl;dr: no

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:18, archived)

did you see where i recommended a thing

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:20, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7895385 ?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:24, archived)

obviously i shouldn't have bothered
www.b3ta.com/talk/7895345
you would probably hate it, either because it's stupid or on principle, i don't suppose it matters.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:28, archived)

I will give it a go with an open mind
thanks MGT
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:32, archived)

I got a few guilty laughs out of that.
Also, Sheridan Smith is quite lovely.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:58, archived)

Steady Ems
This will end up descending into a wank thread again
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:59, archived)

I do think mm's porn filter is set to "british women 1980-2010"
he probably wanks himself off to the interview pages in the Radio Times.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:03, archived)

That Gabby Roslin, eh? Phwoar!

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:13, archived)

Philippa Forrester tho
and not just because she's named after a subaru
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:15, archived)

Like an attainable Louise Nurding.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:18, archived)

one of the worst things ever
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYVW7ohhuXw
(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:24, archived)

It's not really her music that interests me, to be honest.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:26, archived)

saw her on 8 out of 10 cats, she's an idiot, I went almost completely flaccid
almost
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:25, archived)

Black Books.
The first series was very good.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:55, archived)

It was the first time I watched it, but I don't think it's aged well
I do like Dylan's stand up though
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:01, archived)

The Big Lockout is my favourite TV funny thing ever.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:07, archived)

I ATE ALL YOUR BEES

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:28, archived)

^ this
Also, "I'm a prostitute robot from the future!". But that was a different episode.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:32, archived)

yeah, that one is probably my favourite
the exchange about wine not having a taste is fantastic
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:57, archived)

We should cling to this rare nugget of agreement.
The rest of this thread is a proper hate-fest.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 13:06, archived)

Miranda

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:47, archived)

You are what I call b3ta's most awful troll.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:58, archived)

Well we're almost at the end of the morning, the time fast approaching midday
How is this week finding you so far? Living up to your expectations? Or maybe it's exceeding them! Come on, open up to TH. How are you?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:46, archived)

sorry two hats but I've already deleted one thread today
i'm not doing it again
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:47, archived)

That's fine
Maybe we can do both at once? Can't hurt, can it.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:51, archived)

yeah, let's give it a go

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:08, archived)

I'm a bit peckish

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:50, archived)

I'm having jacket potato with seared tuna for lunch
I would recommend you have the same, but you're one of them.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:51, archived)

I would have considered the jacket potato to be the accompaniment here
but this reads as though the seared tuna is merely a topping for the spud
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:54, archived)

Pretty much
left over sashimi from last night
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:55, archived)

oh right, now we're getting to the truth behind this so-called gourmet meal you are preparing

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:56, archived)

I can only afford leftovers these days :(

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:57, archived)

how the mighty have fallen

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:01, archived)

I know!
This morning I was drinking Douwe Egberts...now I'm eating leftover japanese. Sad toimes.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:03, archived)

It could be a lot worse, to be honest.
Got a couple of calls yesterday from people wanting to hire me, and only one of them was taking the piss. The cahncil came round this morning to collect all my furniture so I've actually got room to move in the place for a change.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 12:02, archived)

OK, new thread.
I don't think that "middle-aged men's wank fantasies" is really appropriate for this family friendly forum.
What else is inappropriate?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:39, archived)

I deleted my thread to give this one a chance
but it was about political correctness so we can probably combine the two
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:39, archived)

You're my hero, Grrry.
If political correctness has gone mad, again, we are duty bound to blame feminazis and SJWs. I mean, who wants to live in a world where a man can't call for the decriminalisation of rape without being made a social media pariah?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:42, archived)

if only it was complaints about rape and skin colour
but no
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:46, archived)

We frequently have to take courses at work
that encourage us to support any ethnic people and women in our team because, after all, they're people too. I don't even.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:49, archived)

~~'re people too~~ need all the help they can get since they were only employed to meet a quota rather than actually meeting the skill and education requirements for the position they fill.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:50, archived)

This does go on
It's fucking bullshit, but it happens
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:51, archived)

my Dad ranted about it constantly during his 20 years in the police:
"I had to be in the top 10% of the course to wear this uniform. Next time your house gets broken into or your daughter gets attacked in the street, do you want the responding officer to be one of the top 10% of all applicants, or do you want someone who meets the chief constable's quota on ethnic diversity? Think about that next time you hear about equal rights in the workforce, son".
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:54, archived)

I think this might be what they were referring to when the Macpherson Report talked of 'institutional racism'

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:01, archived)

My Macpherson report said that one of the springs has snapped and the shock is leaking oil :(

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:06, archived)

we had a presentation once at fareham college
where some guy asked us to imagine that aliens came to earth and rounded up all the left-handed people and made them second class citizens and stuff.

then, surprise it was a heavy-handed metaphor about the treatment of gay people. some people objected to being patronised by the presentation, while some people objected, and i'm not making this up, some people objected to ''having to hear about gay people while i'm trying to do my job''
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:58, archived)

lol

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:01, archived)

poor manolith, I expect you'll sympathise with that last complaint in your work here as mod

(

vladimir, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:18, archived)

haha, true
it's very distracting
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:23, archived)

I don't know what that's about,
but Stephen Fry is a drama queen. And a bellend.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:53, archived)

it's unrelated to the Fry link
but my colleague identifies as an anarcho-socialist nipponophile Buddhist.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:57, archived)

NIPPLEphile more like

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:59, archived)

he's very obviously a drama queen
but i'm glad he exists
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:11, archived)

He made me agree with Julie Burchill.
I'm not sure I can forgive him that.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:14, archived)

Says the man with the furry in his profile.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:40, archived)

That was a gift!

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:44, archived)

Still weird.
Freak.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:45, archived)

bollocks
I bet you've got one of these ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/61n%2Br5BNrQL._SY355_.jpg
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:06, archived)

I'm not allowed to organise games of Pin The Tail On The Donkey for children's birthday parties, any more.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:10, archived)

Elderly men's wank fantasies
That Gracie Fields, eh?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:40, archived)

Anna may Wang more like, eh gents

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:43, archived)

My dad once confessed to getting all worked up over Judy Garland in The Wizard Of Oz.
Thanks, dad!
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:45, archived)

Thad.

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:46, archived)

On his death bed, my grandad confessed that he like the Nolans
My mum and nan assumed meant their music...I knew better.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:46, archived)

When I told my mum she was a grandmother she said
"I knew the moment she was born because the Stylistics came on the radio".
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:48, archived)

hahaha
that's lovely
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:49, archived)

I thought only teh gays liked Judy Garland.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:51, archived)

My dad is massively homophobic, and convinced himself that gays would find him irresistible.
So, yeah, that would explain a lot.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:55, archived)

closet

(

vladimir, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:20, archived)

wanking yourself off on busy public transport
There's precious little space enough as it is without your elbow bouncing off the ribs of your fellow passengers as you rub yourself raw.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:40, archived)

And since they got rid of the ashtrays, you don't have anything to spunk into

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:41, archived)

I just had a wank

(

MONO!, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:40, archived)

If you'd mentioned this sooner, I could have asked you to have one for me whilst you were at it.
Selfish, that's what you are.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:43, archived)

I'll go have another for you

(

MONO!, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:45, archived)

Aw, thanks, MONO!
I take it all back.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:46, archived)

maybe there's a sort of chinese fingercuffs that two men can wear on their willies together
then you only need one hand to wank off both of them. A victory for efficiency
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:47, archived)

i think we might as well rename the forum 'middle aged wankers' to be fair
die antwoord music videos are pretty inappropriate
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:54, archived)

grumpyoldm3n.com

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:55, archived)

I'm not sure I am middle aged.
But middle class white wankers would fit well.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:01, archived)

I'm from Ghana you racist prick

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:03, archived)

I know a woman who owns a house in The Gambia with servants and a house boy.
Her husband wears one of those white linen suits like some empire era knob.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:19, archived)

I bought a white linen suit.
Don't think I've ever worn it, though.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:21, archived)

we haven't had enough Sisters of Mercy today
www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeFC-rfQkVk
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:22, archived)

Yeah.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:47, archived)

I thought mongy was from nigeria

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:04, archived)

He could still be white and middle class in Nigeria.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:08, archived)

biafran not a shitty nigerian

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:16, archived)

jello biafran?

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:25, archived)

Ha, some homeless girl who was heralded a hero in Oxford after returning stolen items to a shop,
That she said "she saw someone else stealing and confronted them" has been arrested for theft of the items in question.
This is after a big article about how lovely she was and a load of people raised a load of money for her, she said she was going to buy a caravan and some land with the money. I got called a cynical bastard for saying chances are she stole it all and then changed her mind when she thought she might get caught.

article 1

article 2
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Feb 2016, 11:12, archived)

Hole of the morning.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 6:44, archived)

woah, I've never thought about it like that before

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 6:47, archived)

You're always thinking of hole, you liar.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 6:57, archived)

I preferred Alice In Chains to Courtney Love's work tbh

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 7:03, archived)

I liked that one song they did. You know.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 7:20, archived)

Down in a Hole? Rooster? Them Bones?
I like the whole unplugged album. And the Jar of Flies EP. But I can't listen to Man in a Box because it was on an NME compilation disc followed by this, so I can't hear one without the other.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 7:24, archived)

No one should ever pay any attention to anything that comes out of Courtney Love's hole

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 7:57, archived)

surprised Frances Bean hasn't done a Peaches Geldof already

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 8:00, archived)

oh now come on, really

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 8:04, archived)

Not Lauren Child's finest work.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 8:41, archived)

fuck off back to mumsnet

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:01, archived)

otherwise known as a Layne Stayley.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:01, archived)

Alright

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 6:54, archived)

too late, mano and I did all the alright jokes yesterday

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 7:04, archived)

I only saw the crescent

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 6:54, archived)

fresh

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 7:03, archived)

god fucking damn you mongy

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 7:03, archived)

^ angry tute

(

mongychops, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 8:16, archived)

dangity dang

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 8:37, archived)

Hello there.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Feb 2016, 7:16, archived)

Sexy boy.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 7:20, archived)

Air were shit

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 7:25, archived)

I rather enjoyed their soundtrack for The Virgin Suicides.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 7:30, archived)

This is the truth

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 17 Feb 2016, 7:40, archived)

2gether 4 eva

(

$$ ✅, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:09, archived)

& neva 2part

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:10, archived)

live, laugh, love

(

$$ ✅, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:20, archived)

Eat, drink, chew

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:21, archived)

pick, roll, flick

(

$$ ✅, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:22, archived)

~~live, laugh, love~~ kill, destroy, rape
(

$$ ✅, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:21, archived)

location, location, location

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:26, archived)

those two dickweeds
I hate that show
(

$$ ✅, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:28, archived)

ur loss m8

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:33, archived)

I used to fancy Kirsty Alsopp

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:36, archived)

but you don't anymore?
what did she do?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:37, archived)

I couldn't fuck a tory

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:39, archived)

Be nice if they stopped fucking us, eh?
Politics? Lolitics, more like!
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:43, archived)

raped an eagle to death

(

$$ ✅, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:41, archived)

to of
+ death metal
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:50, archived)

you fucked that one up

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:56, archived)

oh yeah
well you get the idea
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:57, archived)

Dunno.
I find her really irritating, now.
Probably still "would", but I no longer want to.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:41, archived)

s2.postimg.org/fvohdijjt/image.jpg
(

$$ ✅, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:46, archived)

No, Miss Trunchbull!
Not the chokey!
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:52, archived)

why

(

$$ ✅, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:38, archived)

Probably boobs.
If the wife's going to insist on watching that rubbish, I may as well get some enjoyment out of it.

Thanks to small children and CBeebies, I fancy Katy Ashworth something rotten.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:50, archived)

Ah yes
In my day it was Sarah Jane. *sigh*
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 9:58, archived)

Naomi not withstanding,
all the presenters on 5's milkshake block struck me as indescribably filthy.
Maybe not Derek.

I'd forgotten about Sarah Jane. I used to enjoy her mugging about in her yellow tracksuit. I second your *sigh*.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:03, archived)

One day I came home from work (when Mrs Hats was home with the baby)
the missus had recorded 'Higgledy House' for me because Sarah Jane got soaked by a hose then did some contortionist stuff. She's a good wife.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:07, archived)

I fondly remember that episode.
Your missus is a keeper, for sure.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:10, archived)

Is Jen still on Milkshake?
She used to make my winkie feel funny. But yeah...I always thought that Naomi looked like she was the other presenter's mum.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:07, archived)

No idea.
My kids have outgrown milkshake. I think Naomi might be this generations Michaela Strachan.
Jen was adorable.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:13, archived)

There's no one on CBBC
I honestly don't know where they find these people. If you want to be a tv presenter, surely you need to be attractive, charismatic or (ideally) both. These people are neither.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:16, archived)

It's all about the iPlayer, now, 2H. Presenters are a dying breed.
Still, Helen Skelton is cute.
Whatever you do, don't let your kids watch citv's Scrambled block - none of those people belong on TV.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:21, archived)

I wouldn't be able to resist calling her "Helten"

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:28, archived)

Oh god
I want to push the black girl into traffic
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:33, archived)

I hope this becomes your stats page quote.
She is awful, though.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:35, archived)

if you can't get a good wank out of children's television then where can you, eh?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:21, archived)

That's what I'd like to know!
Watching High School Of The Dead on Netflix just made me feel dirty.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:28, archived)

^tggi

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 10:32, archived)

just seen on twitter that Bruce Forsyth has died

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 19:08, archived)

RIP Gazza

(

$$ ✅, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 19:17, archived)

5eva in mi hart

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 19:17, archived)

I'm in charge!
Etc
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 19:46, archived)

it's lovely to see you, it's lovely to see you!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 19:59, archived)

Tiswas!

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 20:22, archived)

winner! your crackerjack cheque book and pen is in the post!

(

artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 20:42, archived)

RIP in piece
Catchphrase will never be the same
(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 20:20, archived)

Arse Bandit!
youtu.be/x-Je9gAhdBo
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 20:25, archived)

Bon Jovi! Dooey beero, pervador!

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:19, archived)

Haha, here we go!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:27, archived)

Olay olay oil of olay!

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:38, archived)

Regular electric shocks should be applied to the genitals of anyone who watches e4
Thoughts?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:30, archived)

they show the inbetweeners though
I love that
(

$$ ✅, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:35, archived)

I fucking bet you do you dirty old bollocks

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:35, archived)

I can't think of anything else I watch on there
you can go ahead and close it now
(

$$ ✅, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:38, archived)

i quite like brooklyn nine-nine

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:42, archived)

I'll check it out

(

$$ ✅, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:45, archived)

s1 & 2 are on netflix, i believe

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:50, archived)

cool

(

$$ ✅, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:53, archived)

I think it's funny too, but then I'm still watching mash

(

mongychops, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 19:07, archived)

It's bbc3 with adverts for insurance.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:41, archived)

so's your face
and your mum
and your nan
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:52, archived)

Those first two are fair but that last one is molto out of order.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:57, archived)

They used to show endless repeats of Scrubs,
now they show endless repeats of Big Bang Theory.

I would like Sarah Chalke to resuscitate me after something something big bang something something Kaley Cuoco.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:48, archived)

Should I post that picture of her arse again?

(

mongychops, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 19:03, archived)

I'm not saying that you should,
but neither am I going to try to stop you.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 19:28, archived)

cannoli and peroni all night long
surrounded by hot women showing off their fica
(

$$ ✅, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:33, archived)

^gobanza

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:35, archived)

Boutros Boutros-Ghali.

(

the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:50, archived)

heth eth eth eth eth, peth eth eth eth eth
...chris waddle
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:52, archived)

I didn't think he was still alive

(

$$ ✅, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:53, archived)

He made it to 93.
Not a bad innings.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 19:35, archived)

Go in rolex and see what discount they will do on a yachtmaster 2 for me? If it's 20% I'M IN

(

mongychops, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 19:06, archived)

Oh and a new explorer 1, got to get one for my brothers birthday,

(

mongychops, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 19:18, archived)

Yeah prolly not.
Might buy some shoes and a big cheese but. that's my shopping limit. Soz.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 19:22, archived)

Its OK, I'd have bought them, but I'd have buyers remorse as new ones next month : D

(

mongychops, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 19:39, archived)

You and gonz should get married and spend beautiful evenings regretting frivolous purchases together.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 20:22, archived)

Imagine the kids, handsome pugs

(

mongychops, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 20:28, archived)

yeah, no. i don't think so
when was the last time you did anything at all whatsoever?
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:42, archived)

not sure

(

$$ ✅, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:43, archived)

well keep me posted

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:05, archived)

One time my girlfriend told me her stunning sister was gagging for a shag at the moment because her bloke just wasn't interested in sex, and I knew I was going on holiday with both of them in a month's time.
Only it wasn't my girlfriend, it was my wife, and she doesn't even have a sister.
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:44, archived)

This story left me confused and with a vague sense of nihilism for the future.
Edit: have you been smoking McBeef's Afghan hash?
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:49, archived)

Your marriage is beyond saving.
Sorry.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:50, archived)

We have to stay together for the kid.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:03, archived)

I think my parents did that.
Selfish bastards. I reckon if they'd gotten a divorce, I could have guilted my dad into buying a SNES.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:18, archived)

yeah, i got a few decent presents out of my deadbeat dad

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:56, archived)

why?
my parents split when I was a kid and I turned out perfectly ok
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:19, archived)

Uh, well...

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:32, archived)

DON'T JUDGE ME

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:33, archived)

Apart from the money side of things I can't recommend divorce more highly

(

mongychops, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:33, archived)

did you get more from your nan than you lost to your wife?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:37, archived)

Fuck yeah, my Nan was very wealthy, one of my granddads watches is worth more than the house I gave the ex

(

mongychops, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:47, archived)

i haven't done naink, people keep asking what we're doing for my birthday, i really don't think i can be arsed to do fuck all except go up the local

(

mongychops, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:44, archived)

it's your day
you do what you like, bruv
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:06, archived)

happy birthdays to me, happy birthday to me, gonna get me some hookers and catch hiv

(

mongychops, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:31, archived)

and many more!

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:56, archived)

It's pretty treatable now, I guess that's taken a lot of the thrill out of risky sex.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:10, archived)

I watched an episode of 8 out 10 Cats does Countdown yesterday
does that count?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:48, archived)

i quite like that show

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:06, archived)

so do I. It provides a clever mix of off the wall humour and Rachel Riley's legs.

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:11, archived)

So you would totally have sex with her legs?
How victorian.
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:17, archived)

who mentioned anything about having sex with her?
I just appreciate her legs from an aesthetic purpose
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:19, archived)

"Roses are red, cabbage is green,
I like your legs, and the bit in between."
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:19, archived)

^ Polish wedding vows

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:20, archived)

I don't like it at all
We have so much in common!
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:24, archived)

It's not as bad as that other one though
Australian bloke. Fucking awful
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:24, archived)

the last leg?
oh i see. so you hate diabled people then?
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:57, archived)

He might just be a terrible racist.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:03, archived)

That's the one
My problem is that everything seems old fashioned to me. I've heard it all before
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:08, archived)

it probably helps that i like sean lock and jon richardson, and think jimmy carr is fine as a gameshow host

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:58, archived)

It just seems a bit forced to me, that's all

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:08, archived)

that's fine
you're allowed to have your own stupid opinions
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:20, archived)

^upset

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:27, archived)

I bought a pair of rollerskates, last week.
With any luck, they'll have arrived today. Exciting, huh?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:54, archived)

are you going to deliver hamburgers?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:55, archived)

Now, there's an idea.
I'm sure a Drive In cinema would be a massive hit with the retro hipster crowd, too.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:59, archived)

it would have to be ride-in, for fixie bikes only.

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:05, archived)

Where am I supposed to clip the tray and speaker?
Hipsters ruin everything!
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:07, archived)

just dump it all in the basket on the handlebars.

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:08, archived)

this midlife crisis is continuing unabated, huh?

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:06, archived)

Yeah, it's rubbish.
The tendons in my hand are aching, too, after a rather enthusiastic session of hand exercises. Still, I'll have a mighty grip, which is bound to come in handy, someday.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:16, archived)

A

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:25, archived)

Yep, that's right

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:25, archived)

this is the most offensive post i've ever seen on this site
consider yourself permabanned
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:08, archived)

I accept my punishment with great humility

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:12, archived)

I just cycled home.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:19, archived)

what, on a fucking pushbike?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:25, archived)

Yes. On a pushbike.
I live in Oxford. It would take me an hour to drive home at this time, or 5 minutes by pushbike. It's not raining and I could give a shit how stupid I look.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:32, archived)

It wasn't criticism, I was purely amused considering how many vehicles and animals you've got

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:32, archived)

The bastards won't let me graze the horse in the quad.
Stuck up university wankers. And when I took the defender in I got moaned at for it being "a bit noisy for an 8am start"
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:34, archived)

That sort of shit makes my fucking blood boil
you show 'em who's boss, Windy.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:37, archived)

I might burn it down

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:41, archived)

I went home a little while ago
Then I arrived home. Having dinner in a bit
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:22, archived)

What are your dinner plans, Two Hats?
*flutters eyelashes*
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:30, archived)

I had japanese
Well nice. Or as the Japanese would say "ruvvry jubbery".
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:53, archived)

Ladypig has gone out. I might have a want with the sound on on the porn.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:33, archived)

^wanter

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:53, archived)

^wants himself into a stupour

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:55, archived)

^want show host

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 17:58, archived)

Yes

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:06, archived)

My wife understands my wants.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 18:44, archived)

Some things in life are sent to test our resolve.
Like when your girlfriend tells you her stunning sister is gagging for a shag at the moment because her bloke's just not interested in sex, and you know you're going on holiday with both of them in a month's time.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:38, archived)

You're in the wrong place to post sex lies. It's /links you want.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:39, archived)

I'm trying to create a more-or-less even balance of sex lies across the site.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:41, archived)

This is either the point where you "out" the poor lad,
or win "letter of the month" for your contribution to Readers' Wives.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:41, archived)

Is there a rule in the small print to say you can't do both?

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:42, archived)

Ooh, you rebel, you.
My wife's best friend's sister used to complain of a lack of sex. I seem to remember her fella binned off their honeymoon to go skiing with the lads. He's totally not gay, though, just very well groomed.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:46, archived)

Of course, of course.
Why celebrate and consummate your union with the love of your life when you can spend the fortnight schussing down the black runs with the #lads?
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:48, archived)

They've got a kid, now.
I'm sure it'll be terribly well adjusted, what with a closet case for a dad, and a neurotic overachiever for a mum.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:53, archived)

I can already hear the sound of a hundred psychiatrists' hands rubbing together with glee.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:54, archived)

Once again, I realise that I'm in the wrong business.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:55, archived)

you should make a picture of this situation for tumblr, judging by what i've seen they love this sort of bollocks, personally i don't give a fuck

(

mongychops, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:43, archived)

tumblr requires a level of hipsterism far beyond mine.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:55, archived)

hi

(

MONO!, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 14:42, archived)

Bumhole of the Bailey

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 14:44, archived)

what?

(

MONO!, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 14:45, archived)

a sphincter says what?

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 14:46, archived)

what

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 15:27, archived)

say what again

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 15:24, archived)

I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more Goddamn time!

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 15:31, archived)

I like the bit when Will Smith goes "SHOW ME ALL THE MONEY!"

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 15:33, archived)

I like the bit where Tom Hanks says "I like life eating chocolates"

(

MONO!, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 15:37, archived)

I like it when he says IN YOUR FACE, AIDS!

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 15:50, archived)

Snakes? Why are there motherfucking snakes?

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 15:49, archived)

When this baby hits a hundred and twelve kilometers an hour, things are going to get seriously shit

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:06, archived)

I.T. phone home

(

MONO!, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:08, archived)

In space it's not likely anyone will know you're there

(

MONO!, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:08, archived)

you're a wazzock, Perry

(

MONO!, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:09, archived)

i'm not sure you're supposed to be doing this kind of thing with your new baby

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:19, archived)

Is that from 'A Serbian Film'?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:21, archived)

I'm not sure why that film exists.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:22, archived)

shock value, I guess

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:32, archived)

Not really my bag, but I am very judgemental of others.
Chances are I wouldn't get much out of the Human Centipede saga, either.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:36, archived)

I'm doing it in a used Jag, not a delorean, so it's completely safe

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:31, archived)

hey woah, no wonder my picture isn't on the popular page, the thread got deleted
i.imgur.com/as1pLxF.jpg
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 14:47, archived)

not even as much as a lol
after all the effort i put in
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 15:21, archived)

Sorry, I thought it was funny
I just dropped a bit of mango on my arm. When I lifted it off there was a massive bruise underneath it. Now obviously I've sustained this bruise previously and no noticed it...but it was a bit of a shock, I can tell you.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 15:32, archived)

lets just hope it's not mangangreno

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 15:35, archived)

let's just hope it's not mangongitis

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 15:38, archived)

i.imgur.com/X4koqC8.gif
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 15:47, archived)

let's just hope it's not mangancer

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:38, archived)

Yeah.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 16 Feb 2016, 14:55, archived)

2 measly letters
is that all you can be bothered with? fucks sake, mono. have some respect. if not for us, your elders and betters, then at least for yourself
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 15:10, archived)

The Picture of Dorian GAY!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 15:13, archived)

no

(

MONO!, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 15:26, archived)

oh ok, fuck off then

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 15:46, archived)

you'll probably want to post my birthday cards tomorrow to make sure they arrive for friday forum chums

(

mongychops, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:11, archived)

done and done

(

$$ ✅, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:21, archived)

oh yeah I'll send you a card as a return for that stuff you never fucking posted to me you tight cunt

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 16 Feb 2016, 16:34, archived)

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