b3ta.com talk

Home » Talk » Archive 13931 (Older | Newer)

During the brits advert there was an advert about respect for everyone, aimed at kids, then on the show a clearly shaven cunt in a bikini for titilation, planearm made me smash my tv

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 20:44, archived)

Le bon is pissed

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 20:46, archived)

is that british pissed or american pissed?

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 21:11, archived)

He slurred wonderful

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 21:42, archived)

It's 20 years since Jarvis got his bum-bum out while MJ was on stage.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 20:56, archived)

Good that was shit too, I'm going to kill planearm and then myself

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 20:58, archived)

would you like to talk about it?

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 21:10, archived)

I haven't finished reading the leaflet yet, fuck off

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 21:31, archived)

But it's just a slip of paper that says 'Let's Talk' and then the telephone number

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 21:43, archived)

Is this a sex thing?

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 21:46, archived)

thrilling
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 21:52, archived)

lols

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 21:56, archived)

That can't be right. It's supposed to stop you wanting to kill yourself.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 22:01, archived)

I thought gp's wanted you to kill yourself, less expensive,

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 22:05, archived)

You could earn tonnes signing of this shit
xrayxpress.co.uk/medical-services.html?gclid=CNrtxuG2kcsCFQmNGwod5okIgA
(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 22:22, archived)

I'd miss all the saving lives every day

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 22:35, archived)

You would probably save more lives helping visa's

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 22:40, archived)

Might paste a load of these onto qotw if the right subject comes up, they're certainly shit and depressing enough

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 22:07, archived)

We're having to watch bake off. At least Ade Edmondson is on it but he hasn't done much swearing so far.
I'm hoping he'll smack Will Young over the head with a frying pan and then hoof him in the balls.
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 21:18, archived)

Dunno what we're means, are you trying to gang up with a baby?

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 21:43, archived)

It's the Royal 'we're'

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 21:45, archived)

Hah, tit

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 21:18, archived)

The Brits is only serving to show me that
I am slowly losing touch with new music.

I blame Smooth Radio and Heart. But I still love them.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 22:01, archived)

sorry I've got to go
and I won't be in for the rest of the week
feel free to enjoy your time without me
(

MONO!, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:30, archived)

Let me speak for us all when I say we will feel your loss like the lack of a limb
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:33, archived)

Let me speak for us all when I say we will feel your loss like the day my piles cleared up
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:34, archived)

Let me speak for us all when I say we will feel your loss like being given the 'all-clear'
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:36, archived)

Let me take you down cos I'm going to Strawberry Fields.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:46, archived)

Let meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee entertain you

(

broadsword w⚓, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 17:11, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmeOC0OTY_Q
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 17:11, archived)

Let me lick you up and down till you say stop
Let me play with your body, baby, make you real hot
Let me do all the things you want me to do
'Cause tonight, baby, I wanna get freaky with you
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 18:49, archived)

Take a let's talk leaflet and piss off

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 18:52, archived)

I was going to post this on /links, but then I thought, why waste it on those twats?
I'm going to save internet gold like this for my real friends.

So here it is: metro.co.uk/2016/02/24/woman-curls-one-out-in-a-train-station-photo-booth-5714984/

Lol, France.
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:30, archived)

Did she have the photos taken too?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:30, archived)

I hope so, and they show her in mid-poo-squint.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:31, archived)

I saw someone throw up in a bin once

(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:31, archived)

Sorry, that's not half as impressive as shitting in a photo booth.
I'm sure I've thrown up in a bin at least once.
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:32, archived)

I've pissed in my own bin
But I did it while I was asleep, so I'm not sure if it counts
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:33, archived)

well I did see someone do a shit in the middle of the pavement in India
but that's standard practice over there
(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:38, archived)

weve all bin there

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:32, archived)

oh hahaha

(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:34, archived)

t.chzbgr.com/ThumbnailCache/full/i.chzbgr.com/completestore/16/2/23/LdY4yDAj6EqR4c8yNoePIw2.gif
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:39, archived)

Cheers, dad

(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:40, archived)

My mate threw up into a bin once
He was really hung over and had driven me into work. I shouldn't have encouraged that really. Still, it was a very long time ago.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:33, archived)

French
#brexit
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:39, archived)

Who the fuck uses photo booths any more? It's not the 1980s.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:45, archived)

I like that this is the aspect of it you find troublesome.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:49, archived)

Well come on. We've all taken an emergency dump in a train station. I usually go in the automobile magazine section of WHSmiths.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 17:00, archived)

The last I checked, photo booths still exist because it's the only viable form of photo ID for government agencies. I renewed my passport a couple of years ago, and the gov website was quite churlish about using selfies. In fact, it explicitly forbade them. Cunts. A photo is a photo FFS.

Had to go to Boots like a pov..
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:58, archived)

Yeah. But that was a picture of your balls dangling into a Mr Messy mug.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:59, archived)

If they want photographic proof I can always demonstrate that in situ, if required

(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 17:01, archived)

WASSUP?
You know, like that Budweiser ad campaign in the 90s.
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:05, archived)

yeah

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:06, archived)

not much, you?

(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:07, archived)

I have to go on record and say that I don't enjoy Budweiser

(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:08, archived)

no one does m8
it's for children and people who don't really drink
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:11, archived)

I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't endorsing the drink in my post

(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:15, archived)

this is true, i got really drunk on it when i was 11 and puked all over a minibus, i swore that day that i would never drink again, i'll admit i have had the odd relapse

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:16, archived)

As have we all, son
as have we all
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:18, archived)

I remember all the shit things I used to drink in clubs... reefs, v ice, vodka source.
God students are pricks.
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:21, archived)

Pound a blue VK
Them were't days
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:22, archived)

Proper blizzard here, massive fat flakes

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:11, archived)

bit rude

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:12, archived)

try not to take it personally, even though it was clearly aimed at you, he's having a hard time of it

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:13, archived)

well it's water off a ducks back really

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:14, archived)

Not my fault 2H is so sensitive about his dandruff

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:15, archived)

poor little fellas got cradle cap, leave him alone

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:17, archived)

I have a dry t-zone :(

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:30, archived)

spit on it

(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:30, archived)

I tried that, but it just went in my eyes

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:31, archived)

Well jell
I love snow, me
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:19, archived)

Nice and sunny here, gonna take the baby out for a walk.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:21, archived)

yeah, I just did that, in the snow, good times

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:30, archived)

u pair of fucking benders

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:32, archived)

yeah, us gays, getting all these women pregnant

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 16:44, archived)

What historical period would you live in for a week?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:09, archived)

what as ourselves in a similar situation as we are in now? none, that would be shit

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:12, archived)

what, you don't want to be a moneyed bachelor in the days of opium dens and whatnot?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:15, archived)

ooh forgot about the opium
this changes everything
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:21, archived)

i'm not sure bexley had many opium dens, and if i go back very far the place wouldn't even exist and i'd just be in a field or something, also my bank wouldn't exist so i doubt my money would either

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:26, archived)

of course you can still travel mate, it's a holiday innit
you don't have to stay in Bexleyheath
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:28, archived)

how would i get anywhere? i'm sorry this whole thing is just stupid

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:30, archived)

ride a horse, take a train, drive your stone car with your bare fucking feet
christ, I can see why she left you
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:31, archived)

so in this week i've got to learn to ride a horse, sod all this

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:32, archived)

Billy Crystal managed it, and found Curly's Gold too

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:34, archived)

so this is now just turning into taking part in historical reenactment? i really don't want to get involved, soz

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:36, archived)

you could have gone fishing for dinosaurs, oh well

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:41, archived)

You've ruined his fucking holiday I'd leave it if I was you

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:05, archived)

it was all done in the best possible taste

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:05, archived)

Last Saturday
Had a really nice lunch
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:16, archived)

Miriam Margolyes

(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:25, archived)

Harry Potter era?
or her less-visited Romeo and Juliet period?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:28, archived)

Cartoon rabbit deffo.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:33, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7891800
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:36, archived)

Ooh, can I spend a week in the Harry Potter universe?
Doing spells and that would be beezer
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:21, archived)

bit noncey, why not go back and do that fit bird in charmed, and some spells

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:45, archived)

Nah, I wanna fuck Tonks

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:56, archived)

s a trucks
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:01, archived)

*shakes head*

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:03, archived)

don't shake your head at me, you're the pervert

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:06, archived)

Just because I want touch Anna Chlumsky's ears while I masturbate into a football sock
does NOT make me a pervert
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:17, archived)

Well that's fair enough.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:04, archived)

urgh wot that bint from Game of Thrones?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:07, archived)

She's quite hot when she's not been made up to look like something you'd find nestled in a bin around Camden Lock market.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:11, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Natalia_Tena_Sydney_20120616_1.jpg
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:13, archived)

shambles loves camden, it makes sense now

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:16, archived)

Bint?
#bantz
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:16, archived)

bants bents bints bonts bunts

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:16, archived)

wait, i didn't know who you were talking about so i googled
is this who you're on about fucking?
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:16, archived)

blocked
vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/harrypotter/images/9/93/Nymphadora_Tonks_Deathly_Hallows_promo.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20140715135827
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:18, archived)

is that a boy?

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:18, archived)

If you like

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:26, archived)

i've never seen harry potter, so i'm going to assume it is as the only girl i know is that emma girl who seems to be a stuck up toff cunt

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:33, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7898175
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:36, archived)

3 weeks ago was alright
Now the main point - are we only moving in time or space as well? If it's only time then I wouldn't opt in, since it's highly likely the Earth was in a different position at another point in time, meaning you would travel through time and end up suffocating in space

Also, what movie time travel logic are we subscribing to here?
(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:35, archived)

Just base it on Bill and Ted
dial in your holiday and off you go
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:37, archived)

Well I'd probably go back to about 13:07 today
and start a thread about time travel on this lovely messageboard
(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:57, archived)

and you'd do that for the whole week?
bit dull, surely
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:00, archived)

WELL IT'D BE A BORING FUCKING WORLD IF WE ALL LIKE THE SAME THINGS GRRY

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:59, archived)

OK YOU CAN LIKE BORING THINGS IF YOU WANT

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:07, archived)

he hasn't thought this through at all

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:39, archived)

I know right?
You'd think if someone were going to offhandedly start a thread about time travel they'd at least nail down the basics. Broken Britain yet again, just can't get the staff, wasn't like this in my day, etc.
(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 13:55, archived)

it's not his fault, there's something wrong with his brain
we're just going to have to ignore it like we did with gonz's spelling
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:01, archived)

does this time machine only go back in time then?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:13, archived)

it must be big tho because i can take a horse and all my fishing gear in it, and even a branch of santander

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:20, archived)

a some
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:30, archived)

I'd want to travel forwards so I can watch mine and Tangled's civil partnership ceremony

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:20, archived)

YOU PROMISED ME A FULL PROPER WEDDING

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:47, archived)

um, pretty sure tangles is a girl

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:49, archived)

I'd note down the lottery numbers then travel back a week and spend all my winnings on coconuts.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:22, archived)

~~coconuts~~ scratch cards
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:24, archived)

+ 'n sniff
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:31, archived)

I'd go back and stop my parents creating me

(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:28, archived)

But then you wouldn't have born to then grow up and go back in time to stop it happening!
Looks like there's no easy answer!
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:34, archived)

shit
I'll send a slave child to go back and do it for me
(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:38, archived)

Now you're on the trolley

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:40, archived)

Can I be an aristocrat in the last days of Imperial Rome?
AWW HELLZ YEAH.
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:30, archived)

Springwatch 2013.

(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:37, archived)

are you going to fuck chris packham to make utol jealous?

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:48, archived)

I don't even know how I got here.

(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:49, archived)

you fell through a wormhole

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 14:53, archived)

<s> bu

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:07, archived)

I don't even know what a UTOL is.
Umbilical take off and landing?

HELP ME OUT HERE.
(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:10, archived)

you're going to kick yourself
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=1166
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:14, archived)

Ah right. Well, it's been a while.
I can barely even remember my own name, let alone anyone else's.
(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:31, archived)

alright Bud

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:05, archived)

alright GM

(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:10, archived)

I imagine Queen Victorias were rather heavy and sustaining

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:00, archived)

She can't have had that many, I mean wasn't she pregnant for most of her life between about 18 and 40?

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:05, archived)

after a poor start this thread picked up some decent steam
and who knew Mcbeef knew so much about the Romans? Richard Mcboff, more like!
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 15:03, archived)

I know it's "not all Americans" or owt but fuck me those screeching mouth breathers at the Trump rallies are fucking terrifying.
They make our provincial I'm-not-racist-but BNP plebs look like Norman fucking Chomsky.

Where will you hide during the inevitable world war and collapse of society if Trump wins?
(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:18, archived)

I don't want Trump to win and I don't want Clinton to win

(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:21, archived)

^feeling the bern

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:22, archived)

he would fuck the country up just like Trump

(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:24, archived)

^cruz'n for a bruisin'

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:26, archived)

A woman president would be ridiculous.
www.comicsreporter.com/images/uploads/bigbarda02jk.jpg"
(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:22, archived)

those don't look like steel toe-caps to me

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:24, archived)

haha
that is how "woman's lib" turned out, too
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:24, archived)

Her feet are being eaten by macrocephalic birds.
And I bet this is the only time that sentence has ever been typed.
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:25, archived)

but if I had to hide
it would be in the basement of my mum and dad's house. They have a dart board and a fridge to store bottled lager.
(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:23, archived)

Nice.
I'm going to team up with a gruff town sheriff, a Korean nerd, and a closet gay hillbilly. It's the dream team.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:29, archived)

~~dream~~ Time
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:31, archived)

Might work.
I bet that ridiculous wurzel knows how to make bread from acorns or some hippy bollocks.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:34, archived)

I've got the utmost respect for blokes who know how to knapp a flint

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:38, archived)

Yesterday at work I mentioned the fact that if Hilary wins
It'll be the first time that two presidents have had sex. TWO of my colleagues said "Nah, that MUST have happened before, SURELY."

Fucking idiots, I swear to god.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:48, archived)

Lyndon B. Johnson and JFK
just sayin
(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:49, archived)

Lyndon poking JFK between the chops
lover's tiff, assassinated.
(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:50, archived)

I said there were rumours about Lincoln and Andrew Johnson
but I was met with blank faces
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:50, archived)

Hang on, I've got a link to cheese porn around here somewhere

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 10:02, archived)

trump won't win
but it's nice that he decided to gather all the worst americans together in one place
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:22, archived)

Can he lead them off into his mountain lair like a pied piper of morons?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:23, archived)

fingers crossed
did you enjoy savages the other day by the by?
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:27, archived)

Yes. Bit of a nervous start then proper good.
I always thought she was Norwegian or summat though. Everybody knows French women can't sing rock and roll.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:32, archived)

her and the guitarist (my friend from school/college. everyone notice how cool i am for having a rock star mate)
were in a band called john and jehn before savages. she's very french
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:39, archived)

Check out you and your links with the cool kids.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:43, archived)

i haven't seen her in a while because she's all famous now, but last time we went out for a drink she had josh homme's phone number in her mobile
it's absurd. i keep expecting it to be some sort of elaborate prank. she used to be a limp bizkit fan, for fucks sake
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:44, archived)

Hillary will win surely?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:24, archived)

it's looking that way

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:28, archived)

Edit: wanky wanky dull American politics wanky wanky guffs
Guffs
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:32, archived)

Just wait until the revelations about fapping herself off with a WSJ and dripping her gush on an interns tie.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:35, archived)

a warrior of social justice?

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:39, archived)

Yeah.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:45, archived)

I thought it was noam

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:23, archived)

i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01470/maoam_1470086a.jpg
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:25, archived)

NSFW

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:26, archived)

sexual

(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:26, archived)

Gnome.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:43, archived)

In answer to your question, I'd hide in plain sight.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:25, archived)

fuck 'em, the Yanks deserve whatever they get

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:27, archived)

Terry Crews should be president

(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:28, archived)

^tggi

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:40, archived)

don't know and i don't care, all boring

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:34, archived)

You ever been bowling mongy?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:36, archived)

yeah, i'm not very good at it

(

mongychops, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:41, archived)

I'm shit at it but still won a bottle of rubbish fizz last time.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:44, archived)

for a country that's never won a war single-handedly, they are well up themselves

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:39, archived)

What about the civil war? Surely somebody won that one.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:56, archived)

well yeah, but it means they lost that one too

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 10:09, archived)

bring back Lyndon B. Johnson

(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:34, archived)

HIS name means willy!

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:41, archived)

lol

(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:43, archived)

Would you like a photo of my B?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:51, archived)

i reckon yours is more of an eric the half a B

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:54, archived)

*shows license*

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:55, archived)

I blame the American Jewry

(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:38, archived)

You mean those big necklaces with a dollar sign on them?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:49, archived)

yup

(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:50, archived)

Yeah, they're pretty stupid

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:53, archived)

Actually, I nearly bought one, because I thought it would be funny
Then I was struck by the thought that people might think I was being serious. Same reason I didn't buy a thumbs up Papa Francesco t-shirt in Rome.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:54, archived)

did you go to the Vatican museum?

(

$$ ✅, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:55, archived)

I did

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:56, archived)

Trump will ostrich become yesterday
I have orange juice in the american hot sauce
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:47, archived)

EXACTLY

(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:50, archived)

ne'er a truer word was spoke

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:53, archived)

trump, yesterday
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 10:02, archived)

*votes*

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 10:03, archived)

morning

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 7:05, archived)

Mroing Grry

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 7:06, archived)

moing muppster

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 7:20, archived)

Morning grrry.
Just reading that police in Wales ran a dog over on purpose. I must say I thoroughly approve.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-west-wales-35644209
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 7:10, archived)

if only they'd do that with people

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 7:21, archived)

what's the strrry
morning grrry
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 7:33, archived)

Hello
which is the first track off that album and which includes lyrics by Gary Glitter
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 7:41, archived)

no reduction in text size would be sufficient to hide your shame at knowing that

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:26, archived)

I'm a child of the BritPop era, I have no shame in that

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:34, archived)

^Post of the day

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 7:42, archived)

yeah but there were too many other posts during my walk to work and now it's like i don't even recognise this thread anymore

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:59, archived)

Haha, "work"

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:01, archived)

manolith imagines that he sits in an armoured cage somewhere in the bowels of a justice enforcement agency
and stone-faced detectives approach him with requests for incredible firepower, and he has the power to hand over a grenade launcher with a casually gruff "sign 'ere", like a seasoned quartermaster who don't take no shit from nobody.

When really he just has to take the least-bespittled microphone cover off a shelf and pass it to an acne'd student for their "innovative" talking heads project.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:15, archived)

we've got some quite cool shit, ACTUALLY
but i have no delusions about being anything other than a kit monkey
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:23, archived)

got a cassette-based 4-track?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:28, archived)

well, need a lego arduino, ino

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 7:48, archived)

using a pro micro in my car these days
no lego involved
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 7:56, archived)

I take it that's some kind of dwarf prostitute.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:06, archived)

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:08, archived)

How many dwarf sex workers can you fit in a Mini?

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:07, archived)

Depends how small you chop them

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:16, archived)

I'm going to go with 5128 as a guess

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:23, archived)

Minced, then.

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:32, archived)

Clubman?
nah, I've got work tomorrow man
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:35, archived)

No, they drove here in their own Accords

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:39, archived)

I've had a headache for 24 hours now
Is it cancer?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 7:48, archived)

nah,
Brain slug
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2016, 7:49, archived)

And in the zodiac, Cancer is represented as the brain slug
Do try to keep up, Windy
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 7:59, archived)

soz. fatty

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:02, archived)

:(

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:21, archived)

Yes

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:24, archived)

I don't think you can feel cancer in your head
so it's more likely to be a subarachnoid haemorrhage or summat
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:28, archived)

is that spider eggs or summat?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:34, archived)

yeah
probably crawled in through your ears
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:43, archived)

my aunt had a brain tumour and her vocabulary went mental
she swapped nouns for other completely random objects. "Gas bill" became "strawberry".
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:36, archived)

Stand out from the crowd and find your own vocabulary style. Maybe yours will catch on.

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:46, archived)

Shit, I do that sometimes
I really ought to see a doctor you know
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:58, archived)

by doctor, do you mean gooseberry?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:15, archived)

crazy motherfucker named win cube,
From the group posting on b3ta with attitude!
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2016, 7:48, archived)

what's the craziest thing you've ever done, windy?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 7:51, archived)

I swan dived off the side of the pyramid venue in pompey,
In to a hedge that wasn't as deep as I'd thought and broke my collarbone
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2016, 7:53, archived)

yeah, that's pretty rock and/or roll
the only band I remember watching there was Dio :(
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 7:56, archived)

I never saw a band there,
But did spend a lot of time in the shot rock night in the club under the pool that smelt of chlorine and crotch
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:00, archived)

I used to swim there

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:17, archived)

I don't think I ever even went inside any of it except the dodgy club.
Was it alright?
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:24, archived)

I've just been reflecting on it
It was 1989. I was 11. It was a "swimming pool" with a bar, and they played a lot of London Boys, Pet Shop Boys and Bananarama. Was it alright?
(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:34, archived)

I went there the day it opened
and maybe once more after that. It had a wave machine (pretty much unheard of back then) so it was quite popular.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:35, archived)

I remember it

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:38, archived)

Seems like you and I are of a similar age
I used to go to Victoria baths or Havant leisure centre. Because I was poor.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:41, archived)

shitter

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:16, archived)

shitter ye not

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:44, archived)

Looks a bit nippy out.
Hahaha it's funny because they're Japanese tourists. Or possibly Chinese. But that doesn't work.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:18, archived)

bonjour machine de guerre

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:31, archived)

ooh la fucking la

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:35, archived)

salut, emmêlés-en-bleu
qu'est-ce que tu fais?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:42, archived)

god, that really is an idiotic language

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:46, archived)

I've just listened to "Let it go" in norwegian, danish and swedish, to compensate

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 9:00, archived)

rien

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:49, archived)

I was pissing by your coffee and thought I would stip in for a chot

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 8:45, archived)

Here's the ring to prove that I'm no joker!
There's three ways our love can go!
That's good, bad, and mediocre!
J A N E T I love you soooooo!

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:22, archived)

I hope that fat knacker died

(

mongychops, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:23, archived)

Most of them do.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:43, archived)

She did have internet cancer numerous times

(

mongychops, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:46, archived)

Did gonz ever attempt to shag her?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:50, archived)

i would think so, dunno

(

mongychops, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:59, archived)

just think...an hour ago she was plain old betty monroe...and NOW, she's MRS RALPH HAPSCHATT! 8-D

(

vladimir, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:50, archived)

gay

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:50, archived)

...and?

(

vladimir, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:51, archived)

12 and autism?

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 20:12, archived)

I've been invited to a secret curry club.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:52, archived)

FIRST RULE YOU DICK, FFS

(

mongychops, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:58, archived)

It's alright, I'm pretty sure no one who it's a secret from is here

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2016, 20:06, archived)

Well its the first I've heard about it : '(

(

mongychops, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 20:14, archived)

Chutneys in town, 4th March. Meet in the 3 goats before hand about 7.30

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2016, 20:34, archived)

That's my birthday
Raise a jar for old TJ, won't you?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 20:45, archived)

No

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2016, 20:49, archived)

poppadom preach :(

(

vladimir, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:59, archived)

:)

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2016, 20:07, archived)

Sounds like hipster nonsense, Windy
Tread carefully
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 20:01, archived)

It's actually not,
A few of the maintenance team and contractors that are basically permanent go for a curry once in a while. The crap heads aren't invited so it is secret.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2016, 20:06, archived)

~~A few of the maintenance team and contractors that are basically permanent go for a curry once in a while. The crap heads aren't invited so it is secret.~~ they are going to sedate me, cook me and eat me
(

vladimir, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 20:06, archived)

Oh. :(

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2016, 20:14, archived)

Don't feel bad, most of us have considered eating you at some point

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 23:13, archived)

I expect you're wondering what you're doing soaking in Reg's eleven secret herbs and spices.

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 23:24, archived)

Oh I see
Sounded like one of those "dinner party that you're expected to pay for" type deals
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 20:26, archived)

Nah, I do know of one of those.
I went once. Didn't like the food.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2016, 20:33, archived)

scontent.cdninstagram.com/hphotos-xap1/t51.2885-15/s320x320/e35/12071047_1500298513630688_418752883_n.jpg
(

vladimir, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 20:06, archived)

Worst curry eva

(

mongychops, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 20:13, archived)

steak is good for curry

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 20:16, archived)

As long as you boil it thoroughly.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 20:24, archived)

Only good sirloin

(

mongychops, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 20:25, archived)

I was supposed to go to Paris, to the Escoffier School. But then I got orders for my physical. Hell, I joined the Navy. Heard they had better food. Cook school. That did it. They lined us all up in front of a hundred yards of prime rib. Magnificent meat, beautifully marbled. Then they started throwing it in these big cauldrons. All of it. Boiling. I looked in, and it was turning gray. I couldn't fucking believe that one! That's when I applied for radioman's school
(

vladimir, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 20:47, archived)

I don't know what that is but it sounds like the back story to under siege

(

mongychops, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 21:42, archived)

Never get out of the boat Man.

(

CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 21:55, archived)

Which is the most cost effective way to 'top' one's self?
least painful is a bonus too
(b0rk3d Jokes are better than technique!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:24, archived)

laser eye surgery

(

$$ ✅, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:28, archived)

blinding idea

(b0rk3d Jokes are better than technique!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:29, archived)

post a really shit joke on /board and then post a slightly better one a bit later

(

artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:29, archived)

I have many failed attempts thus far
:(
(b0rk3d Jokes are better than technique!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:33, archived)

try making the jokes a bit funnier.

(

artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:35, archived)

Tie a rope to your roof joist
stick the noose round your neck and jump through the loft hatch.
(

djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:30, archived)

Noose knot to the side and your neck should break instead of just suffocating.

(

djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:31, archived)

which side?
left or right?
(b0rk3d Jokes are better than technique!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:34, archived)

Your choice
whatever is most comfortable.
(

djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:34, archived)

my left nut hangs a little lower
so I will try the right side to balance it out a bit
(b0rk3d Jokes are better than technique!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:36, archived)

WUN HUNG LO

(

djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:37, archived)

Lacist
:)
(b0rk3d Jokes are better than technique!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:41, archived)

wait

(

vladimir, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:32, archived)

too late
x(
(b0rk3d Jokes are better than technique!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:34, archived)

ps, don't do that, it's as they say, a permanent solution to a temporary problem

(

vladimir, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:35, archived)

you should think about going into therapy
as a therapist (not a patient)
(b0rk3d Jokes are better than technique!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:37, archived)

you shoud think about being in therapy?
as a drummer (not a bassist)
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:41, archived)

he coud do

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:45, archived)

stupid phone keypad

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:19, archived)

you could top yourself with a variety of delicious things
if you're going for savoury, some good choices would be cheese, sauces or sliced meats. if you've got more of a sweet tooth; try cream, fruit or chocolate
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:39, archived)

Far too costly
thanks tho
(b0rk3d Jokes are better than technique!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:40, archived)

well what have you got in the cupboard already?
there's probably something tasty you hadn't even considered!
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:43, archived)

I have some 'tums' in the medicine cabinet
and self raising flour?!
(b0rk3d Jokes are better than technique!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:47, archived)

you should go on can't cook won't cook with that
see what they can do
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:21, archived)

has that still got airtime?
90s kid
(b0rk3d Jokes are better than technique!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:27, archived)

Piss me off one more time you fucking shitcunt

(

mongychops, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:07, archived)

You remind me of your mother
more and more each day
(b0rk3d Jokes are better than technique!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:12, archived)

Aww that's nice, she went too soon, 50 is no age

(

mongychops, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:16, archived)

all the best leave too soon
:(
(b0rk3d Jokes are better than technique!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:18, archived)

I'm only 8 years off that now , might turn to drugs or saink

(

mongychops, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:21, archived)

My old man popped out at 62
I hope I have my Mum's genes, she's nearly 85
(b0rk3d Jokes are better than technique!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:24, archived)

woah, britney's new direction is pretty good

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 20:10, archived)

What's the point of saving money? You won't need it tomorrow and it's not like you have any friends or family to inherit it.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:08, archived)

I have none to start with Brian

(b0rk3d Jokes are better than technique!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:13, archived)

How can you have no money? No wonder you want to kill yourself

(

mongychops, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:17, archived)

at low low prices
~~££££~~
(b0rk3d Jokes are better than technique!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:19, archived)

Then you have no worries in the world. Shoplift a bottle of meths and become a Gentleman of the Road.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:18, archived)

Gentleman of the Road?
Is that a euphemism for queerknocker
(b0rk3d Jokes are better than technique!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:21, archived)

Yeah. Why not.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:23, archived)

fair point

(b0rk3d Jokes are better than technique!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:31, archived)

^ defending his village idiot job

(

mongychops, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:22, archived)

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:19, archived)

Well said sir
well said
(b0rk3d Jokes are better than technique!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:22, archived)

Well I have had some fabulous feed back, I will let you know how it went
or not as the case may be
(b0rk3d Jokes are better than technique!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 19:41, archived)

don't be silly

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 20:15, archived)

d'you know what, even if you're joking,
www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us?gclid=CJffx6rmjssCFeUV0wods0ULFg
www.papyrus-uk.org/
www.thecalmzone.net/
(

vladimir, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 21:13, archived)

Live under a tory govt, cunt.

(Master_Slob UK minister for cultural appropriation., Tue 23 Feb 2016, 22:31, archived)

Gaz shitshitshit for tips
Oh wait...
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 23:16, archived)

too soon?
dunno, doubt anyone is reading this far down anyway and now you're talking to yourself
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 23:17, archived)

holy shit tangled - how on earth did you know that i was talking to myself?!
you're freaking me out, man
(

artifus is doing it all wrong, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 0:28, archived)

what colour pants you got on?

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:10, archived)

red with polka dots :)

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:15, archived)

this is not allowed

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:16, archived)

what about podka dots?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:17, archived)

And who are you, the Pants Nazi?

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:17, archived)

panzi

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:22, archived)

In a Pantzer tank.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:27, archived)

black

(

$$ ✅, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:15, archived)

oh hey, mine are black with a grey elastic band

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:21, archived)

I wear completely black pants
because I'm an outlaw
(

$$ ✅, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:33, archived)

pants or pants?

(

MONO!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:16, archived)

let's not fuck around here, i'm talking about underpants

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:20, archived)

knickers

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:26, archived)

red, I think
dunno
(

MONO!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:27, archived)

Black with red stripes and a yellow trim.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:18, archived)

sounds fancy

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:21, archived)

can't remember
and can't check because i'm in the juicer
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:23, archived)

take your trousers off, right now

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:29, archived)

might bookmark this
seems like it might come in handy
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:18, archived)

woah
Skiving?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:33, archived)

why do you wankt to know that?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:27, archived)

oh
ok I'm leaving that typing error in
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:27, archived)

i think your typo has answered the question

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:29, archived)

as long as that is what it's for
navy and grey striped
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:44, archived)

I think they used to be blue

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:31, archived)

Grey I think
Why do you ask?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:32, archived)

to aid masturbation

(

$$ ✅, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:33, archived)

pants plod

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:50, archived)

black, black like my soul
black like a mole in a hole with some coal
(

broadsword w⚓, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:33, archived)

^troll

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:34, archived)

lol

(

broadsword w⚓, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:35, archived)

^worst NIN cover ever^

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:49, archived)

inner ones or outer ones?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:36, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7897605
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:40, archived)

Tell you what, I liked Grrrmachine's chosen topic, but some of our friends have taken exception to its delivery
So let's say this:

What tv shows do you remember from when you were a child, and which ones did you enjoy the most?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:21, archived)

There weren't many I didn't like
Never cared for Press Gang, or the children's hospital one. I guess I preferred cartoons.
Supergran, Jossie's Giants and Eerie Indiana were three exceptions
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:23, archived)

The Adventures of Pete & Pete
it was on Nickelodeon
(

$$ ✅, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:24, archived)

Ah, I never saw that
After my time maybe?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:25, archived)

i enjoyed the animaniacs

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:26, archived)

Yes, I liked that
I remember it being quite cleverly written. Also, Pinky and The Brain.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:27, archived)

i learned all the countries of the world thanks to yacko

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:30, archived)

They played that clip on the plane went I went to america (where I got married a few days later)
#noonecaresTH
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:30, archived)

more recently, i have enjoyed watching adventure time

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:27, archived)

I also like that
as do my boys, which gives me the excuse to watch 4 or 5 episodes on the trot
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:29, archived)

i watched an episode the other day where a finn in a different dimension found the ice king's dead body
and then accidentally destroyed the world using his crown all whilst another finn and jake were watching from an inter-dimensional space trying to determine how to save their own dimension from destruction

for kids this, yeah
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:36, archived)

the one with the Glitch is pretty messed up too

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:38, archived)

I liked Danger mouse.
But I spent most of my time nicking sweets from the top shop and causing trouble up the rec and the ici factory.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:33, archived)

the new Danger Mouse is actually quite good
No one was more surprised than me. NO ONE.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:34, archived)

The new Thunderbirds is balls
But then I didn't like the old one, so maybe it's good, I dunno.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:35, archived)

All Gerry Anderson is wank except the first series of Space 1999 which is EXTRAORDINARY.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:36, archived)

It's on The Internet ... might try to persuade the offspring to watch it after they've finished Teen Titans.
Teen Titans is secretly actually kinda quite good.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:35, archived)

Teen Titans GO?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:36, archived)

T E E N T I T A N S Tee tuh tuh tee tuh Teen Titans Go!

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:40, archived)

That show's mental
I like Beast Boy
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:41, archived)

what was the one that had that guy in it?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:39, archived)

Barrymore's Pool

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:41, archived)

oh

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:42, archived)

My mum used to record ITV so that I watched it back without the adverts
but this took so long that I was always a day behind all the series and so couldn't join in all the gossip at school
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:47, archived)

It made conversations in the teachers' staff room really awkward.

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:48, archived)

Dungeons and Dragons, Bravestar, Defenders of the Earth and Ulysses 31 are stuck in my head as good
but in terms of revisiting old stuff, I want my kid to watch Oliver Postgate's stuff
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:01, archived)

Knightmare was well boss.
In retrospect it's hard to imagine how some of the contents got shown on a kids' TV show.

www.ukgameshows.com/p/images/thumb/3/37/Knightmare_treguardpickle.jpg/300px-Knightmare_treguardpickle.jpg
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 15:17, archived)

"Ha, that one's you, that is!"
What cartoon character or children's toy did you identify as a kid on a Saturday morning before your parents had dragged themselves out of bed?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:41, archived)

sorry, what?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:42, archived)

I'm assuming you all had childhood fantasies where you actually were the robot from Ulysses 31 or something
but upon reflexion I think that may have been a mistake on my part.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:44, archived)

post a different thread, plz

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:44, archived)

look, this is all I've got
why don't you start one?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:45, archived)

no thanks, i'm very busy at work

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:51, archived)

if it's any consolation, women seem to lose a lot more of their marbles in these first three months

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:46, archived)

fucking baby-brain

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:47, archived)

I think he meant to say 'identify with' but clearly he's been out of the country so long he's forgotten how to speak english properly.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:05, archived)

^ tggi

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:07, archived)

upon reflexion, maybe 2can has the same problem

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:19, archived)

ant and/or dec

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:43, archived)

not PJ and/or Duncan?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:45, archived)

who are they?

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:46, archived)

one went blind in a paintball incident and the other one had an excellent mid-90s haircut

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:47, archived)

William Randolph Hearst

(

$$ ✅, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:44, archived)

bit far-fetched m8
imagining Americans can read
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:47, archived)

Grotbags

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:45, archived)

My aunt looked exactly like her, except the make up
since she didn't really like black lipstick
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:45, archived)

Willo the Wisp

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:45, archived)

yeah, I'd be alright being Evil Edna
and I reckon mongy would be a pretty good Arthur. Who gets to be Mavis?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:46, archived)

Tangled

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:47, archived)

^ fancies Mavis Cruet

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:47, archived)

oh
well this is awkward
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:47, archived)

that was beautifully timed

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:49, archived)

I'm prepared to go along with this to save face

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:51, archived)

It's your dignity that makes you so fanciable
that and your tight arse
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:52, archived)

I could bounce up on down on those buns all night if you know what I mean.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:54, archived)

I don't, but from the context, I'm guessing it's something sexual

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:00, archived)

I should think so.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:11, archived)

I wanted to be Matt Tracker off of MASK

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:48, archived)

this is the sort of answer I expected
thanks for playing along, Two Hats
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:49, archived)

But although I liked the idea of being a Masked Crusader
it's the working overtime bit that puts me off
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:49, archived)

he was a raging anti-semitic outside of work and child beater

(

$$ ✅, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:03, archived)

wow he had the whole package

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:05, archived)

He raised a lot of money for charity though

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:07, archived)

that's the aspect of his character Two Hats is most drawn to

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:10, archived)

child b3ta more like!

(

$$ ✅, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:11, archived)

Haha!
FULL CIRCLE
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:11, archived)

Not much sleep, eh?
Get an au pair. Best money you'll every spend.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:53, archived)

what are you blithering on about now?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:55, archived)

You are exhibiting the classic dementia-like symptoms of a sleepless new father.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:05, archived)

if you say so, glamper

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:08, archived)

I'm delighted my weekend away is making you feel slightly less dreadful about living in pissbucket squalor.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:10, archived)

no, it just provides a delightful new perspective on the misery you suffer at home
it so perfectly explains all your other pointless boasting and bitterness.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:12, archived)

K

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:34, archived)

batman, he's the best marvel superhero

(

mongychops, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:05, archived)

batty man more like

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:05, archived)

i don't like alan carr, soz

(

mongychops, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:08, archived)

You're more of a Graham Norton kind of guy?

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:10, archived)

tom off of tom and gerald

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:05, archived)

because your mum's a big fat angry black woman?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:09, archived)

Probably the ones that were kids.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:06, archived)

disgusting

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:07, archived)

^ fancies Muppet Babies-era Miss Piggy

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:12, archived)

Is everything alright in there?
NO, NANNY
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 14:14, archived)

What's this thread?
Midget thread.
midget manolith
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:35, archived)

worst.thread.ever

(

MONO!, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:37, archived)

midget two Hats
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:39, archived)

lol
Dink?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:41, archived)

Dunno

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:46, archived)

img.ifcdn.com/images/e59638b82a9a8a437a1cb0385aadc7b201c2d7649bc060b742b8c18545cc4657_1.jpg
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:45, archived)

Isn't that the Gordon Ramsey sex dwarf who got eaten by badgers?

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:50, archived)

There's nothing about this sentence I didn't enjoy

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:51, archived)

arbroath.blogspot.co.uk/2011/08/gordon-ramsay-sex-dwarf-eaten-by-badger.html
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:52, archived)

I bet his family were proud

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:55, archived)

The badger's?

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:57, archived)

Midget mcbeef
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:44, archived)

midget SS
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:48, archived)

Do you know what? That's how I view him too

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:50, archived)

just another day in paradise

(

$$ ✅, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:53, archived)

midget shambles and grrry arguing over Poland vs France or some shit
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:52, archived)

Check out my magnificent jewfro.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:55, archived)

some fucking midgets I dunno
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:52, archived)

Is that a midget in black face?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:53, archived)

I hope you're not being bigoted.
Midgets have as much right to be racist as anyone else.
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:54, archived)

midget stuj
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:53, archived)

Outstanding

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:58, archived)

YES!!

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:01, archived)

Can you still get midget gems?
I used to like Surprise Liquorice flavour.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:01, archived)

They had to stop them because they give you cancer.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:02, archived)

Totally worth it.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:05, archived)

hey yeah i get it, midgets are funny
as a vertically challenged, young, black woman; i take offence
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:08, archived)

That's still no excuse for not knowing how to use a semicolon.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:12, archived)

Usage is different in ebonics. Check your privilege; cracker.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:15, archived)

;)
better?
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:15, archived)

He certailnly knows how to use a colon though.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:17, archived)

hoiyo!

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:18, archived)

Can you say "watchoo talking bout willis" while I do you from the rear?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:13, archived)

yeah, i guess

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:17, archived)

The Doveston
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:20, archived)

Also also ... a midget manolith would just be a normal sized human with shit nordic death metal larper hair

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:32, archived)

good point

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:36, archived)

there's a larper in our office
he looks like that Rees-Mogg MP chap
(

$$ ✅, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:40, archived)

Sandi Toksvig
les midget as the French would say
(

$$ ✅, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:37, archived)

My wife has just booked us into a glamping bell tent.
Why are you getting divorced?
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 10:36, archived)

brexit

(

$$ ✅, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 10:37, archived)

ahhhhahahahaha
hahaha

fucking hell

hahahahaha

oh man, that's really cheered up my day
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 10:41, archived)

It has running water and you don't need to piss into a gutter. You wouldn't like it.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 10:44, archived)

that must seem like a 5-star hotel for your wife

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 10:45, archived)

She's not Polish. Soz.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 11:19, archived)

of course you're sorry
if you'd married someone from a civilised country, you wouldn't be in such a preposterous, ludicrous, laughable scenario in the first place.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 11:23, archived)

Raising a mongrel in a two bed flat with dodgy plumbing in a concrete soviet dystopi...oh wait that's you

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 11:28, archived)

still better than a raceless brood shacked up in two knocked-together hovels in a socialist dysto... oh wait
man, we're peas in a pod
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 11:32, archived)

now make out with each other

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 11:35, archived)

I wouldn't touch him with yours

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 11:39, archived)

oh come on, this is the obvious next step in this love/hate, will-they?/won't-they? relationship, that sitcom audiences love

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 11:45, archived)

he'll end up saying my name at the divorce hearing instead of his wife's
and the audience will go "ooooooh"
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:07, archived)

I'm not even sure what this means. Is Cameron a socialist now?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:03, archived)

playing thick to attract the boys is so last decade, granddad

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:12, archived)

We live in Cambridge. I genuinely don't know what you're talking about.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 13:16, archived)

in order to toughen my kids up a bit, they've had it all too easy until now and they've got to learn

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 10:41, archived)

Character building innit.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 10:42, archived)

We stayed in a yurt, once.
Not sure I'd class it as glamping, though.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 10:46, archived)

plenty of the mongol rally blokes stopped off in a yurt
but that's acceptable, if you're actually on the mongolian steppe. Not a freshly mown field in Bedfordshire.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 10:54, archived)

East Sussex, actually.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 10:56, archived)

People who glamp in a bell tent
Should have a clamp put on their bell end, m8
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 10:47, archived)

Bell tents should come with a gas oven, for that authentic Sylvia Plath experience.

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 10:51, archived)

Camping macht frei

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 11:07, archived)

Kampfing

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 11:50, archived)

Suddenly the idea is much more appealing.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 11:22, archived)

Fucking hell
www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/crime/travellers-park-up-at-supermarket-in-portsmouth-1-7224831

Space Hopper comments:
Sainsbury's must have a good offer on fake tan , supersized knickers , and hair removal kits , the lady travellers will be able to sort out their mono brows and turn themselves into hideous orange and garish make up creatures that only a cross eyed chubby male traveller would find enticing , to be sure, to be sure,so it is
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 10:49, archived)

I got mistaken for a traveller, last year.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 10:55, archived)

When was younger, a 'traveller' was an erection caused by the vibrations of a bus seat

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 11:08, archived)

But that was before your annual bath.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 11:51, archived)

nu
~~ath~~ leaching
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:08, archived)

it's always about the anal bleaching with you, isn't it?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:20, archived)

I just like to look nice, that's all

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:30, archived)

i bought some pants from that sainsburys when i realised i'd forgotten to pack any

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 11:50, archived)

woah

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 12:03, archived)

pfffffffffffffffffffffffffft

(

vladimir, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 10:50, archived)

Pardon you

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 11:11, archived)

Is that the air slowly escaping from the lilo that they're trying to convince you is a proper fucking bed?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 11:22, archived)

Cold Glampin' with Flava Flav?

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 10:57, archived)

Yeah*.
*No
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 11:21, archived)

I enjoy the court battles

(

mongychops, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 11:03, archived)

glamping bell is my new favourite insult

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 11:12, archived)

"You are a glamper" is possibly the most damning insult in modern Britain

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 11:14, archived)

« Older messages | Newer messages »