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Can't believe I got to 45 years of age before I tried having a glass of wine whilst having a shit
wine taste fine with pooticles

alright b3ta, how tragic is your Friday night?
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 19:25, archived)
broadsword...bad news...either I can see inside your mind, or you've actually posted this

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 19:32, archived)
alright vlad, I've been awake for 36 hours now, I figure that entitles me to type bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 19:39, archived)
knock yourself out, there is no possible way of distinguishing your 36-hours in ravings from any other post here

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 19:52, archived)
wait what I meant to add was, tell us broadsword, why have you been awake for 36 hours?

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 20:15, archived)
He's crescent fresh

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 20:29, archived)
fucking hell mongers, have some consideration, for one moment I read that as croissant, now what am I going to do

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 20:49, archived)
Chill
youtu.be/S0gJZMx79pA
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 20:52, archived)
well they certainly
socked it to them!!!
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 21:01, archived)
Just hackety sack, don't smokeah day crack

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 21:04, archived)
Because every hands a winner and every hands a loser, the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 21:39, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7851781
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 21:47, archived)
the dirty old bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 21:54, archived)

other than that, mongy is resting his feet waiting for a prince to show up with his other slipper, grrrmachine seems to be running into discipline issues already, all the other locals are now asleep and dribbling
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 19:35, archived)
I've got my kids, I'm not overly keen on them, they are not cute or funny anymore, just expensive

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 19:42, archived)
Can you not set them to work selling gear?

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 19:46, archived)
Nah they are liabilities, I'd end up nicked

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 20:05, archived)
one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready...

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 20:05, archived)
Runaround

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 20:05, archived)
Been waiting around all day for my better half to come out the hospital.
Day Unit my anus, it's quite obviously nighttime.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 20:56, archived)
Day unit my anus first ep was good

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 21:11, archived)
I think that was Frank Zappa's kid

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 27 Feb 2016, 0:31, archived)
8/10 cos im a big ol woofter
www.bbc.co.uk/music/articles/6825d77d-1f5b-4c29-b7e8-f8700ec6c0e7
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:40, archived)
I'm going to buy some shirts this weekend
Sod the expense
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:52, archived)
pinks?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 16:05, archived)
bit fruity

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 18:15, archived)
I enjoy a French cuff and I can not lie

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 18:23, archived)
j'ai visite angleterre une fois, je n'aime pas, quelque gamin brûlé mon cou

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 18:26, archived)
I'll probably be buying slippers.
Exciting life that I lead.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 16:30, archived)
i'm enjoying owning slippers

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 16:30, archived)
I lease with an option to buy

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 16:31, archived)
i went asda cheap as i didn't want to commit to an expensive purchase and then not enjoy slippers, might upgrade when these wear out

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 16:33, archived)
+ in approximately 20 minutes

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 18:16, archived)
They don't cover much ground I'm sure they will be good

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 18:17, archived)
you have a nice sit down, glass can pinch a bit can't it

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 18:23, archived)
memory foam soles m8
it's the future
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 16:30, archived)
sod that, what if they grass you up for revenge in years to come, i couldn't take that risk

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 16:33, archived)
Take them out into the garden and make them watch while you burn a small piece of foam and then bury it in a shallow pit.
They won't forget that in a hurry.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 16:35, archived)
And the winner of the most middle aged thread of the year goes to ...

(blah di blah di blah blah, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 16:41, archived)
quiet you
I'm trying to listen to Radio 4
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 16:44, archived)
radio phwooooar more like

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 16:45, archived)
XXXFM more like

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 16:47, archived)
I hope its me...

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 16:45, archived)
3/10
The power of almost total guesswork (it was only the "nul points" thing that told me it was Jemini).
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 16:32, archived)
Oh
I somehow got 10/10 even though I only knew a couple of them.
How am I going to break it to mrs tangles that I'm a gay?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 17:03, archived)
Don't worry, something tells me that she already knows

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 17:05, archived)
#sheknows

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 18:31, archived)
Nicked by the rozzers? Fucked over by a judge? Given a ticket by a warden twat on a power trip?
When were you last put on the Adult Naughty Step?
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:10, archived)
Never been in trouble with the law
Been in trouble with the wife plenty of time though, hahahaha! And I know who I'm most afraid of! hahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:11, archived)
Is it Papa Lazarou?
He's pretty scary.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:13, archived)
That's her

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:20, archived)
Vladimir Putin?
Dwarf clowns?

Lesbians?
(blah di blah di blah blah, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:14, archived)
Ringwraiths.
ISIS.
Jimmy Savile.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:15, archived)
That quiet pasty bloke who sits at the end of the bar sipping the same half and playing with something in his pocket.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:16, archived)
^textual self-portrait^

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:26, archived)
is this word association?

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:28, archived)
TIMMY MALLET DEFINITELY YEWTREE YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST

(blah di blah di blah blah, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:40, archived)
I got shouted at in Canada for having my toes too close to the "do not cross this line" line at immigration.
Dreadful bullies those canucks.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:15, archived)
My mother-in-law had guns pointed at her in the US for much the same reason.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 16:26, archived)
policeman shouted at me to come over to him, but I legged it instead.
He couldn't be bothered to chase me so it wasn't that important.
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:19, archived)
#yawn

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:19, archived)

ya Je
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:20, archived)
hey now

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:20, archived)
whats the matter with ya

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:42, archived)
i've not been caught for years

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:21, archived)

cau strai
(blah di blah di blah blah, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:39, archived)
"I'm using it in her honour"
www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/crime/woman-caught-using-dead-grandmother-s-disabled-blue-badge-in-portsmouth-1-7232426

When was the last time you laughed at a stupid cunt? *coughs*
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 13:56, archived)
Who the fuck does she pay the victim surcharge to?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 13:58, archived)
ur nan

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 13:59, archived)
dozen years my nan's been dead m8

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:00, archived)
That's 12!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:04, archived)

youtu.be/JZshZp-cxKg
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:07, archived)
Also works in german
Try it, it's fun
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:08, archived)
yeah but they lose two syllables on 'eleven'

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:10, archived)
Yeah, but it's delightful
'ELF...ZWOLF!"
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:14, archived)

Using it in your nans honour that is disgusting this female makes me sick how could anyone be so vile!!!!!!!

I hope you never get employed again your lack of remorse is sickening!!! I'm sure most people would of patted you on back if you turned round coughed it and said my nan would of said good on ya!

Your pathetic and should be ashamed hope you suffer as a result poor nan would be ashamed!
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:04, archived)
I don't understand the middle one
I'm sure most people would of patted you on back if you turned round coughed it and said my nan would of said good on ya!

What does that mean?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:05, archived)
I don't know
maybe it's a code to recruit for ISIS. I know MI5 used to do the same with newspaper ads in the 80s/90s.
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:07, archived)
I'm sure most people would have applauded your honesty if you had changed your tactic,
confessed your error, and said in your defense that your nan would have approved of your actions regarding the fraudulent uses of said nan's disabled badge.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:07, archived)
^ working-to-middle class translator

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:08, archived)
what does 'coughed it' mean?
I've never heard this expression
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:09, archived)
the whole sentence is a nightmare

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:12, archived)
cough means confess, admit your mistake
I've been using that one for yonks.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:12, archived)
oh

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:13, archived)
When I was 15 my brother had me pick up and drop off stolen or uninsured cars on his behalf
"cos even though you aint gotchor licence it don't matter cos even if you cough up to it there aint nuffin they can do to you, is there" he said, which I fucking believed because I didn't think my own brother would stitch me up like that.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:13, archived)
ah, so 'coughing up' meaning to surrender something
in this case, the truth. Ok, I'm with you now.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:15, archived)
so wow that's a neato what right now

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:14, archived)
Also, nan would be ashamed if we were still alive
Which she's not. If she were still alive, she'd be using the parking permit and none of this would have happened. God, why don't people just fucking shut up. Sorry SS, but this has upset me.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:08, archived)
I'll turn it around with this:
Hot Black Men:
www.imdb.com/list/ls072084085/
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:13, archived)
They all look the same to me

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:14, archived)
i dunno, man
that third one is gross
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:14, archived)
You're thinking of Men In Black
different thing
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:16, archived)
28 is delightful

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:16, archived)
That fucking hat
unreal
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:17, archived)
I'm sure we're all looking forward to the new Yogi Bear film.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:20, archived)
Oh, that's wonderful
thank you
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:16, archived)
They all look the same, to me.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:18, archived)
:O
Mind you, this list features almost every living black actor in the world. Sort of means less for the people that made the list.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:20, archived)
I used my dad's blue badge, and got a parking ticket for my trouble.
After I'd posted my very angry letter to the council, my wife pointed out that said blue badge had expired.
Still, they cancelled the parking charge as a gesture of goodwill.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:14, archived)
+peter

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:15, archived)
haHA

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:18, archived)
yeah but had your Dad expired?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:15, archived)
No. I don't have that much of a brass neck.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:16, archived)
maybe you'll be able to afford one when you get your inheritance

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:24, archived)
Have already agreed that my brother can carry on living in their house when they go,
so I'm not likely to inherit anything for a good long while.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:35, archived)
That doesn't seem very fair
or it's just extremely generous of you
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:37, archived)
Do you know what? Don't reply to this
It's none of my business
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:38, archived)
I'm extremely generous.
I've effectively deferred my inheritance on to my children, which is good for them, as I don't intend to leave them anything.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:53, archived)
I SAID DON'T REPLY
x
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:56, archived)
I'M DOING IT AGAIN!
MWAHAHAHA!
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:02, archived)
you monster

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:02, archived)
if your parents die and the property is then split 50/50 between you and your brother and you get older and need care you will still have to sell the house to pay for it and your kids will get fuck all, i'd get a solicitor to look at this arrangement

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:09, archived)
thinking about it there are loads of ways this won't pan out, if you and your parents are killed in maybe a car crash or brutal murder, your brother will get it all, kids nothing

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:18, archived)
Don't worry, mongy, it's all been handled correctly.
Pretty sure the house is going to end up sold to pay for the care of one or both of my parents, rendering the whole thing moot, anyway. I actually preferred the idea that they sell him the house now, then live with him as their landlord.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:24, archived)
that would be better, but there is a time scale on it, don't know what it is but i think they have to remain out of care for 10 years after the deal to avoid being forced to sell, good luck to you all

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 15:26, archived)
Cheers, mongy.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 16:24, archived)
This morning a woman pulled up on the zigzags outside the school
and she had a parking ticket on her dashboard. Couldn't help thinking that maybe she's not quite grasped what 'illegal parking' means.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:19, archived)
Was she also wearing a onesie and smoking a joint?

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:21, archived)
Not as far as I could tell
I don't tend to see parents in their pyjamas at this school. It does happen around here, I've seen it, but just not at this school.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:23, archived)
i pulled up on your nan's zigzags

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:26, archived)
I know m8
I wish you wouldn't
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 14:31, archived)
5/7 this week, mostly guesses
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-35662650
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:19, archived)
Really useful engine You scored 4 out of 7

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:21, archived)
thanks doves, i too got 5
www.kentonline.co.uk/kent/news/the-friday-news-quiz-91629/
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:21, archived)
4 :(

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:24, archived)
nevermind

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:25, archived)
I Kent believe it!

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:28, archived)
i got 5/10 on the kent quiz
my kent knowledge is getting better
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:25, archived)
i reckon this might feture next week, and look at that porcupine, i've never seen one like that before
www.kentonline.co.uk/gravesend/news/eviction-notice-leaves-animals-facing-91614/
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:31, archived)
5 right
Kent reprezzent
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:42, archived)
5 as well

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:22, archived)
2/7
Fuck this week
(I helped save b3ta! H.B.Mupps, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:26, archived)
Only a 4 today.
Also, subthread question, whatdo you reckon is the worst "classic" tune of all time. I reckon it's that one about Bangor.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:27, archived)
nearly all 'classic rock' is boring

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:40, archived)
I don't really mean that, I mean songs that are considered classics.
You know like stuff that's on the radio all the time.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:42, archived)
like the Today programme?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:43, archived)
You know what I mean, and you're being obtuse as revenge for my earlier Midlands comment aren't you?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:53, archived)
a little, but the truth is I never listen to commercial radio
r4, r3 and about two programmes on 6music - these rarely include 'classics' or regularly repeat songs
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:58, archived)
anything by Kiss will be shit

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:44, archived)
I've never understood Kiss
They look like BLEARRRRGHHH but they sound like Foreigner or summat.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:53, archived)
the fact that Gene Simmons net wealth is about $300 million angers me.

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:55, archived)
Yeah, seems unlikely doesn't it

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:56, archived)
bohemian rhapsody is just shit and rubbish

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:46, archived)
I'm not a queen fan really. And bohemian rhapsody is proper Shit.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:54, archived)
Even as a lifelong Queen fan
I can't listen to that song anymore
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:54, archived)
they have done some fantastic songs

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:57, archived)
bryan adams and bon jovi can all go and die in a fire alongside every copy of every song they ever made

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 13:05, archived)
5 for me too
we're all smarter than thicky tangles
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:32, archived)
He is thick isn't he.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:38, archived)
I don't get what you mean

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:40, archived)

Really useful engine
You scored 6 out of 7
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:35, archived)
Oh god, I don't know, do I
could be anything
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:39, archived)
^scored 1

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:42, archived)
If I have to guess the answer, I don't bother
If I don't know it, I don't know it
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:57, archived)
I respect you

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:44, archived)
I got 5 cos one of the questions was about trains

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 13:14, archived)
What up, ma ninjas
Weekend, eh? Blimey.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 11:29, archived)

Blimey Benders
(I helped save b3ta! H.B.Mupps, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 11:29, archived)

ninjas benders
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 11:39, archived)

Two Hats Bender
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 11:45, archived)
Very clean; Check
Shaved head; Check
Terrible taste in music; Check

waitacottonpickinminute
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 11:52, archived)
No hang on, panic over
I hate Katie Hopkins and think that Tom Hardy is an overrated hack. Phew, that was a narrow squeak.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 11:53, archived)
And don't even get me started on the fucking Spice Girls

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 11:53, archived)
posh spice! cor!
ugh, ugh, ugh, uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh, see you next week
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:00, archived)
You mean the talented creators of such timeless hits as "Say You'll Be There" and "Viva Forever?"
You fucking Philistine
(I helped save b3ta! H.B.Mupps, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:03, archived)
^bent

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:06, archived)
i'm pretty sure that benders hate katie hopkins, 8ate
and the tom hardy thing could be because you're jealous of his abs or sutin
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:08, archived)
alright

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 11:58, archived)
yer

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:07, archived)
alright, Mark Zuckerberg

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:00, archived)
alright

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:07, archived)
i think i figured out which of my colleagues makes the nose whistling sound when we're on a telcon
how can i politely tell him to put himself on mute or fuck off?
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:09, archived)
engineer some sort of industrial accident that chops his nose off

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:15, archived)
no pressue doves but can we have the quiz soon before some prick posts it instead of you, kthxbai

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:17, archived)
oh yeah soz, was just doing it, what a coincidence

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 12:18, archived)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 7:05, archived)
morning windy
I don't feel very well
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 7:06, archived)
you should probably consult a qualified medical professional

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 7:16, archived)
Gonna be tricky, they're all out having a moan instead of cracking on
Lazy fucks, they should sack the lot of them
(I helped save b3ta! H.B.Mupps, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 7:31, archived)
Good idea, doctors know the best hangover cures

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 7:48, archived)
why is that then?
You some sort of beer mouse?
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 7:17, archived)
It was rum actually

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 7:48, archived)
Rum pansy

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 8:14, archived)
you've got massive cuntitis

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 8:48, archived)
morning hun xx

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 7:08, archived)
hey man

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 7:18, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 7:16, archived)
straight dope master Grrrrrr

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 7:19, archived)
I recognise each of those words

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 7:20, archived)
If you're going to do it, do it live on stage

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 8:15, archived)
I didn't rate Beale Street to Oblivion very highly, is Earth Rocker much better?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 8:26, archived)
earth rocker is good, psychic warfare is fantastic
But yeah, didn't rate Beale street either
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 8:40, archived)
cheers, I might have to revisit them then

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 8:42, archived)
Jewn

(I helped save b3ta! H.B.Mupps, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 7:19, archived)
it's better than petaloso

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 7:22, archived)
One jew over the cuckoos nest

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 7:47, archived)
I know what Jews did last summer

(I helped save b3ta! H.B.Mupps, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 7:49, archived)
Morning.
Can't think of anything else to add, at this stage.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 7:39, archived)
How are you?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 7:48, archived)
Still mildly bilious, but otherwise not too bad, ta.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 9:16, archived)
One week

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 7:52, archived)
YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHAHAHA! !!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 8:14, archived)
*punches air and freeze frame*
And thus will begin my final year of being in my 30's.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 8:36, archived)
nice arse

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 8:30, archived)
hey hey piggy, hey piggy hey

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 8:35, archived)
My goodness
Now that takes me back
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 8:38, archived)
alright you weird east midlands hippy

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 8:42, archived)
I find this deeply offensive and suspect that was your reason for saying it

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 8:49, archived)
yeah okay "trent reznor"

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 10:01, archived)
morning winpig

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 8:44, archived)
good morning the doveston.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 8:53, archived)
hiiiiiiii

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 8:55, archived)
BROFORCE BROFORCE BROFORCE

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 8:56, archived)

IT'S VERY EXCITING
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 9:05, archived)
Broba Fett
and his son, JangBro
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 9:06, archived)
Wait, Boba was the son
Man, how can I show my face at Bi-Mon-Sci-Fi-Con now! OH JEEZ
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 9:15, archived)
yes yes, very good
i hope they do continue to add 'bros'
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 9:15, archived)
I bet you do, you dirty old bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 9:40, archived)
MARC BROMOND

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 9:53, archived)
BROnski Beat

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 9:55, archived)
Machomanmanolith

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 9:58, archived)
*flying elbow drop*

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 10:03, archived)
hiya

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 9:05, archived)
Double S

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 9:59, archived)
Morning Windy.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 9:33, archived)
Alright Tea

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 9:59, archived)
I'm sat in bed drinking rum like a fucking pirate! How awesome is that?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 0:14, archived)
Pirates probably had hammocks.

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 0:24, archived)
Yeah and they probably didn't mix their rum with cherry coke but obviously there have been significant technological advances since the 17th century

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 0:35, archived)
Do you often have fucking pirates in your room

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 0:32, archived)
why are they fucking? because they aarr!

(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 0:45, archived)
Do you need me to explain the difference between 'like' and 'with'?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 0:55, archived)
diswithed and shared

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 1:21, archived)
It's alright i suppose
I'm contemplating how many shots of the stuff I could knock back before I get caught and fired.. anyone else work nights?
(CrassWar, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 1:30, archived)
Haha Shit job, works nights

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 26 Feb 2016, 6:57, archived)
alright broadsword, alright ger

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 20:43, archived)
Well you two fucked off quick

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 21:13, archived)
ain't nobody here but us chickens

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 21:23, archived)
and leprechauns

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 21:30, archived)
*points*

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 21:39, archived)
Bock bock ba-fucking-gock

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 22:03, archived)
^prize cock

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 23:08, archived)
^prizes cock

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 23:58, archived)
Surprised cock

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(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 0:01, archived)
hey question time's on
thought i might give it a watch, nobody's said anything racist yet
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 23:06, archived)
i thought there was a reply here earlier

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 23:53, archived)
sympathy reply

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 23:57, archived)
that's just what i want you to think you thought
i think
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 0:28, archived)
Oh man, just done a 12 hour day on call followed by a 2 hour meeting and then get shouted at for getting home late.
How does this divorce thing work again mongy?
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 23:43, archived)
alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 17:18, archived)
LOLBLANKED X 2

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 17:37, archived)

i.imgur.com/NoVVP8n.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 18:33, archived)
fuck off dozers

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 20:26, archived)
OIOI

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 20:27, archived)
up yours, dickface

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 20:31, archived)
Fuck you

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 20:32, archived)
Fuck you guys, I'm off to Shropshire.
Where the fuck is Shropshire anyway?
(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 16:21, archived)
North
west midlands, I believe
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 16:23, archived)
Jesus. Googly reckons it's practically Wales.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 16:27, archived)
Fuck you.
Dunno
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Feb 2016, 16:25, archived)
It's near the Isle of Wight.

(I helped save b3ta! djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 16:26, archived)
Cool. Turn left between Blackpool and Sunderland then?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 16:27, archived)
Nah you'll end up in Wales if you do that.

(I helped save b3ta! djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 16:29, archived)
over that way, towards Wales

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 16:26, archived)
"shr-" is the Polish version of the
Shm-reduplication, which makes it seems like Poles have a particular antipathy for the West Midlands.
#noonecaresaboutthisgrrrmachine
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 16:31, archived)
not far from mordor

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 16:32, archived)
it's the bit between your ballsack and anus

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 16:33, archived)
Your nan?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 16:41, archived)
go and jump in the nearest volcano, it's in there

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 16:34, archived)
I've already been in the nearest volcano. It smells of eggs. Two Americans got killed so they don't let you go in any more.
Two Americans got killed Some kid burned my neck
(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 16:41, archived)
“I was so horrified. My friend Amber had her cat killed too, I have no doubt that this was a repeat attack.”
She said: “I have read about the attacks and I am convinced it was sexually motivated.

“I have read about horrible things like this on Reddit, and psychos like that often get some sort of sexual pleasure from what they do.”
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 16:37, archived)
You been writing erotic fiction?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 17:25, archived)
Croydon cat killer innit

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 17:30, archived)
Apparently I need to stop swearing around the baby, in case it learns
I reckon I can get away with "bollocks", because no-one in this country will understand it anyway even if my kid repeats it.

What pseudoswears did your parents use when you were being a little cunt?
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:00, archived)
In our house we were allowed to swear up until his 1st birthday
before that, we figured he probably wasn't paying attention. It's not like we were saying to him "Ok, it's time for your fucking nap!"
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:03, archived)
"fucking hell Control, look at the state of that nappy, you manky little retard!"
crooned my wife this morning in her newly-found patronizing-the-baby voice
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:05, archived)
It's not really called Control is it?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:06, archived)
not on the birth certificate, no
but it won't find that out until it can read
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:13, archived)
I had an uncle who would say 'christmas' instead of christ
and 'godfathers' instead of 'god'.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:03, archived)
what a cunt

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:20, archived)
Well he's dead now, so it doesn't matter

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:31, archived)
My dad says 'bastard' a lot, I grew up thinking it was a farily mild insult along the lines of 'idiot' which has got me into trouble later in life.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:04, archived)
I was like that with 'bugger'.
I learned in primary that it was a bit stronger than 'damn'.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:17, archived)
Yeah I say bugger quite a bit too. My dad's background was quite privileged and I guess 'bugger' and 'bastard' sound less rude when spoken by an old Etonian.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:32, archived)
It's weird how 'bugger' is so much milder than 'fuck', when it should be considered at least as obscene, if you think about it.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 15:49, archived)
Dunno.
Think my mum settled on "sugar" and my dad on "christ".
My eldest thinks it's terribly unfair that we don't allow " dick" as an acceptable bit of cussing, given that it's also a name and a body part. He was very amused when he got a letter signed by Dick Small, though.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:10, archived)
I've heard the "Dick is someone's name!" excuse more times than I care to admit
My boys have recently learned the word "balls" which three of us find funny, one of us doesn't. Can you guess which?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:12, archived)
you

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:13, archived)
r

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:13, archived)
hot

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:13, archived)
and

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:13, archived)
ur

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:13, archived)
turning

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:13, archived)
me

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:13, archived)
on

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:14, archived)
I'm trying to encourage mine to use proper terms for their genitals,
as it ought to make explaining sex a bit easier. Difficult to keep the appropriate tone whilst explaining that a man's willy goes in a lady's nim-nim.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:20, archived)
My lad argues stupid shit like that, he's a prick

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:20, archived)
I think they all are, mongy.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:24, archived)
shit and rubbish the lot of them

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:27, archived)
"you're just afterbirth with eyes and vocal cords."

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:12, archived)
haha mine always used to say "fuck off back to mumsnet"

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:19, archived)
Thanks to YouTube, mine will shamelessly declare something to be "lol" or "epic".

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:27, archived)
My mum: 'you're such a twat'
'don't you mean twit?'
'no, I don't'.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:19, archived)
As a kid I thought my parents had invented the word 'wazzock', as I'd never heard anyone else say it.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:30, archived)
Also in our house, 'poop' meant 'fart' for some reason. It was only in later life I found out 'poop' was American for 'poo'.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:31, archived)
This has made me think that we should have a 'things you used to think were true when you were a kid' thread
not right now, obvs
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:32, archived)
What is this, QOTW?

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:33, archived)
Sweet syphilytic Christ, I should hope not.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:37, archived)
"dipstick" is the universal insult among my extended family

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:32, archived)
Do you think dipstick is used as an insult because it's a bit like 'dick'?
Because dipsticks are quite usseful, aren't they?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:33, archived)
Pretty much, yes.
The fact we use terms like "dick", " cunt ", and " cock " as insults does not reflect well on our culture, if you ask me. "Cock sucker" is a dreadful insult, but really, who doesn't love getting their cock sucked?
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:41, archived)
along with 'crankshaft', 'spark plug' and 'big end'

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:34, archived)
the crankshaft is the big end, you dipstick

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:41, archived)
^ knows all about cranking his shaft in a big end

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:44, archived)
Lunch, eh? Fucking benders
You won't catch me having lunch. Not like you lot of benders. Benders.

Thursday. Friday's Friday. What are you doing at the weekend? Being a bender, I bet.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:34, archived)
willy willy bum bum

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:40, archived)

Yeah!
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:45, archived)
^ best music link on here this week

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:51, archived)
Yeah haha propper dank

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:57, archived)
willy WILLY willy bum bum?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:47, archived)
might nip home for a bit then

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:42, archived)
Friday I'm going to a proper hipster party.
Private lock in at a coffee shop that sells vintage clothing. Bring your own booze. 3 acoustic acts. Meat raffle.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:42, archived)
I hope there's a fire and no-one makes it out alive.

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:44, archived)
Even me?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:47, archived)
no comment

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:52, archived)
kill them all

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:44, archived)
Hopefully grry's fire will do the work

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:49, archived)
That sounds like the worst thing ever
And I've seen a documentary about the holocaust
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:46, archived)
Or as McBeef calls it
Carry On Up The Reich!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:46, archived)
The meat raffle bit sounds alright.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:48, archived)
I didn't even get that far
I saw 'lock in at a coffee shop' and 'vintage clothing' then threw up everywhere.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:50, archived)
The invitation says "vegan alternatives available"

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:51, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:54, archived)
^

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 13:56, archived)
there's not enough napalm in the world

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:54, archived)
hi yeah how's it going?

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:43, archived)
So so
I'm in the office today, so it's a change of scenery. You?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:47, archived)
Going to a gig, you might not like them, hence you might think I'm a bender for going

(I helped save b3ta! H.B.Mupps, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 13:10, archived)
It doesn't matter whether or not I like them
Chances are, I won't know who they are anyway. Who are you going to see, you massive bender?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 13:14, archived)
it had better be a vegan chiptuning hip hop band doing Streets of Rage answer songs
otherwise someone on here's going to get upset
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 13:14, archived)
lock in at a fucking coffee shop
jesus christ
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 13:15, archived)
I'm actually looking forward to it.
The bands aren't my thing, but there will be some good friends there.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Feb 2016, 13:53, archived)
If they were true friends they'd take you somewhere good

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 13:54, archived)
My colleague is sulking because I disagree with him.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Feb 2016, 13:54, archived)
What did you disagree on?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 13:55, archived)
nut cutlets or quorn steaks for their fucking vegan meat raffle contribution

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 13:58, archived)
or what size mocha to instagram while they try on fedoras probably

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 14:02, archived)
The world is ending tomorrow
How are YOU going to spend the day?
(I helped save b3ta! God - smiting mortals since 4004 BC, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:44, archived)
Weeping uncontrollably
Lamenting all the lost opportunities.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:46, archived)
seems like a waste, really

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:50, archived)
Knowing it's the last day isn't going to put me in much of a mood to do anything though

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:52, archived)
you could get nostalgic
all the cool kids are doing it these days
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:53, archived)
Nah
Nostalgia isn't as good as it was in my day
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:54, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B2lJtyEBQc
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:57, archived)
this is some powerful nostalgia, right here
data-discs.com/products/streetsofrage2?variant=10603905671
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:59, archived)
Holy cow!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:03, archived)
i'm buying one
ostensibly as a gift but you know how it goes
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:10, archived)
*coughs* birthday *coughs*
I don't even own a turntable. Or are they CD's?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:21, archived)
eating Crunchies
can't beat that Friday feeling
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:46, archived)
^so excited; just can't hide it

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:54, archived)
*losing control*
*might actually like it*
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:58, archived)
One of our 'question of the day' things on the work notice board was
"You have an hour left on earth. What will you?"
I put down "Make 20 soft boiled eggs"

One of my colleagues said "Why don't you just put more in the pan at the same time?"

He wasn't joking.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:48, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7812999
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:54, archived)
Ah, yes yes

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:55, archived)
I think they might've nicked that from The Whizzkid's Handbook

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:56, archived)
were they the ones in the Beano?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:58, archived)
no, you've conflated the bash street kids and billy whizz

AGAIN
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:59, archived)
sorry, it was all that nostalgia
I'm well in the mood for a Wham bar and some parma violets now
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:01, archived)
no-one enjoys parma violets, not even you with your denty brain

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:10, archived)
I do like them and you shan't tell me otherwise
if no-one liked them then they wouldn't make them, dur-brain
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:19, archived)
he'll be earth president some day, just you watch

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:55, archived)
Some days I find the idiots in here charming
Other days I find it so frustrating that I want to kill everyone, then myself.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:56, archived)

arth gg
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:56, archived)
UR NOT THE PRESIDENT OF EGGS
I SWEAR I will use this expression at some point. It's too funny to not be used.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:58, archived)
*standing OVAtion*

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:59, archived)
wait until either of your spawn, or your wife complain about the quality of your cooked eggs (i imagine this is a fairly regular occurrence?)
then... BAM
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:11, archived)
I can probably engineer such a situation

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:21, archived)
in the ovoid office

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:58, archived)
well i was planning on going for tapas tomorrow
I was quite looking forward to it so I'd probably just do that
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:48, archived)
i'd tap that as!
eh? lads? bants?
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:55, archived)
is this legit? 'cause I'm going to look a right prick if I skip work and it doesn't

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:50, archived)
nah, i just wanted a new thread but couldn't think of a subject
then i saw 'the godbox' and clicked it
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:54, archived)
oh I was looking forward to having a lie-in :(

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:55, archived)
EAT A BACON SANDWICH
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:06, archived)
soz

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:12, archived)
Oh is it? I'll put my best pants on and await the inevitable then.

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:51, archived)
podka dots?

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:56, archived)
You like what you see?

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:57, archived)
hell yeah!

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:15, archived)
lexi belle

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:52, archived)
the gift that keeps on giving
head
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:57, archived)
Its turning into a stock reply, especially to a prick mod calling themselves god, what a wanker

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:18, archived)
She always seems quite clean
I like clean people. As an example to the contrary, Miley Cyrus looks unclean. Amy Winehouse did too.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:57, archived)
Wino looked unclean in a good way to start with.
Although that quite rapidly changed.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:08, archived)
does it end at midnight, so I have a full day
or is it "tomorrow" the same way ParcelForce understands "we will deliver your package tomorrow" so it could end any time between 8am and 7pm and inevitably just when I've sat down on the bog to crimp one off.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:55, archived)
the latter
as if any religious entity has ever been able to provide reliable info. come on.
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:56, archived)
I dunno
He said 'Thou shalt not kill' and he was quite right. I never have.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 11:58, archived)
no, but we've all seen how you've looked at your neighbour's ass

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:00, archived)
One of them has this weird condition where she can't stop having children
The other one looks like Matt Lucas. Take your pick.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:05, archived)
yeah, but scroobius pip said
'thou shalt always kill'
so who are we supposed to believe?
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:13, archived)
He looks a bit like a terrorist, so he's not to be trusted

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:18, archived)
Scroobius Pip
Scroobius. Pip.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:22, archived)
It would seem I'm going to spend it listening to some sort of robot loudly bark instructions at my colleagues in how to use a defibrillator.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:05, archived)
try and get back my 3 dart average of 80

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:21, archived)

d f

lol
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:23, archived)
oh, you

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 12:39, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 7:45, archived)
christ, shut the fuck up will you
No one is reading all that shit you type.
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 7:50, archived)
bit harsh

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 7:53, archived)
Not nearly harsh enough

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:12, archived)
who are you, goldiharsh and the three bears?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:35, archived)
Fuck a horse, you flabby adolescent tangerine.
/ac
(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:00, archived)
look, it is possible to go too far you know
comparing people to SickRik, that's just not on
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:01, archived)
Dunno. Came from a scrubber town. Couldn't get a proper job so became a TEFL migrant.
The only real difference is that he migrated somewhere with decent food and a warm climate. And he's really fucking orange.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:16, archived)
I do worry about you sometimes

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:19, archived)
Soz. That was a bit close to the bone.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:26, archived)
BONER, more like

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:34, archived)
The pervasive sexual innuendo on this place is absolutely ruining it for us women.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:53, archived)
I'll pervade YOUR endo.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:53, archived)
hur hur hur, "perv"
you know, like sexual deviancy from the viewpoint of frigid conservative women who deep down are absolutely gagging for it
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:55, archived)

youtu.be/J0j3-tmQLjg
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:07, archived)
all musicals are shit

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:11, archived)
Yeah, and?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:16, archived)
Sounds like somebody needs a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:27, archived)
^ all alone with the memories

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:28, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gxg5HWTIAY
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:27, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=066bbpzZxdg
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:28, archived)
you do that shit on my parquet, I'll smash your ankles off with a sledgehammer, just sayin

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:30, archived)
Parrokeet more like.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:55, archived)
my parquet is imaginary and my only friend, obvs

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:55, archived)
Pics or it never happened.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:57, archived)
wait, what?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:24, archived)

Here's both of mine.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:59, archived)
Stinking shit-splattering angerlizards.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:01, archived)
Spot on
Wouldn't have them any other way either.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:03, archived)
And
here's what living with an African Grey is like.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:01, archived)
"Does he bite?"
"Yes he does."

"Will he bite me?"

"More than likely."

"Why?"

"Because he doesn't know you."
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:08, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6xzyVY7EfU
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:32, archived)
I can't tell if you're agreeing with me or not

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:34, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=121nJE5hs-E
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:38, archived)
music to drink the kool aid to, no?

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:42, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzMy7-7WV44
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:35, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIO9y1xMPIA
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:35, archived)
poor grrr :(
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmx1L8G25q4
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:36, archived)
I think this sub thread is a cry for help
it's ok vlad, we're here for you
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:39, archived)
make the most of me this is your lot for today
you could always bookmark this thread to enjoy the links later, when you find you just have to check they really are as bad as you think...oh yes they are, just watch again to be sure...tappety taptap STOPIT oh these are terrible...tappety taptapTAPTAP argh no...I AM ENJOYING MUSICALS :-O
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:44, archived)
where are you going vlad?
come play with us.

forever and ever and ever
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:45, archived)

i.ytimg.com/vi/wPJFxS3WuRo/maxresdefault.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:50, archived)
DANCE WITH US, VLAD
DANCE WITH US INTO OBLIVION!
(I helped save b3ta! H.B.Mupps, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:04, archived)
or I could just click delete and consign all these links to oblivion
where they belong
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:49, archived)
I deliberately gave you that choice...
oh god, the dilemma
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:51, archived)
If I do nothing we can create parallel universes
where you imagine I've listened to them all and developed an andrew lloyd weber fetish, while I just ignore them.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:54, archived)
show me where I've linked to that cunt, please, go ahead

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:58, archived)
I heard you had a Cats tattoo.
It's just what I heard.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:59, archived)
:-O
i.ytimg.com/vi/dfZSn3o7HCc/hqdefault.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:00, archived)

images.japemonster.com/2011/06/82ac1d4047c9.gif
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:44, archived)
thanks manolith
thanolith
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:49, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=kV7ou6pl5wU
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:41, archived)
he's got a point

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:48, archived)
pffft

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:51, archived)
I've put too much milk in my cereal
I don't see how this day could get any worse :(
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:16, archived)
I managed to drop my keys in a puddle

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:17, archived)
End of days, man

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:17, archived)
Also there was frost on my bicycle seat so I got a cold bum

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:19, archived)
!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:20, archived)
Willy bum bum willy willy bum bum

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:21, archived)

youtu.be/qrBj3u5dPgM?t=58s
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:21, archived)
Go outside and put your bum in the sun
watch out for wasps though
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:22, archived)
Slow

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:22, archived)
BEND of GAYS more like
Come on guys, keep up
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:41, archived)
You should laminate your cornflakes so that the milk doesn't make them all soggy
hope that helps
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:19, archived)
Can I get away with pouring all the flakes into a single laminate pocket and cut round them, or do I need to do them individually?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:20, archived)
probably easier to lay out a sheet of clear sticky plastic
sprinkle the flakes on, then put another transparency over the top. Press down to seal them in, then cut around each flake as necessary. Or cut them into slices and eat them like pop tarts.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:22, archived)
SHUT UP.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:23, archived)
^popular page^

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:26, archived)
have you got a better solution then?
I'M ALL EARS.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:35, archived)
All ARSE moar lyke

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:56, archived)
Or cut them into fingers
Hey presto...cereal bars!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:24, archived)
there you go, breakfast solved!

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:25, archived)
That wasn't milk!

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:21, archived)
alright G Dogg

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:21, archived)
Alright Dozizzle

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:24, archived)
fandabbiedozy mate!
You know, just like the Krankies!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:34, archived)
Remember that story coming out about them being swingers?
At least Ian Kranky lamped Paul Daniels.

I'd have fucking loved to have done that, but now that he turns out to have inoperable cancer I'd probably feel guilty if giving him a kicking meant that he missed a chemo session.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:37, archived)
If it's inoperable, will he bother with chemo?
If you punch him in the head the tumour may soften the blow
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:41, archived)
In the case of inoperable cancers
The chemo reduces the size and effect of the tumours and helps prolong the patient's life.

The cancer is still there and like buckshot through them, so it's more a matter of managing the situation.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:44, archived)
It'll treat it.
Not a lot. But it'll treat you.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:09, archived)
My mother is currently dying the same way
Her oncologist told her it was like a bag of rice exploding in her stomach.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:16, archived)
What charming bedside manner.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:19, archived)
Apparently he does have a good bedside manner
But my Mother would actually prefer to know her situation rather than be lied to or have it sugar-coated.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:29, archived)
"It's like an exploding bag of ricicles."

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:30, archived)
Too slow!
That story about Wee Jimmy injuring herself falling off a beanstalk during a panto was funny though.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:41, archived)
Ning.

(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:28, archived)
alright LG, not the electronics manufacturer

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:50, archived)
I'm also not Ian Hislop
Despite accusations to the contrary.

Chose the name because I was- and am- a big fan of Peter Cook.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:54, archived)
is it though?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:45, archived)
woah, deep

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:50, archived)
I mean, like, what do we really mean by morning?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:03, archived)
Any time from 00:00 to 11:59
Kind of been using this system for a while now, tangles, keep up
(I helped save b3ta! H.B.Mupps, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:05, archived)
Not here
It's coming up to 01:00 and time for bed.

I guess that's technically morning but I will still have a good kip and see the sun rise.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:52, archived)
there's obviously a lot more to this than grrry considered when he opened this can of worms

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:54, archived)
Yeah right. Like the earth is actually round. Wake up, sheeple. Time zones are just The Man's plan to make us work more hours!

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 8:58, archived)
Earth is an ellipsoid amjustsaying
/pedantry
(I helped save b3ta! H.B.Mupps, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:06, archived)
It's an oblate spheroid. Or 'round'.
Pedantry is rarely dignified and especially not when it's wrong.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:16, archived)
Dunno why we can't all just have the same time but in some countries midnight has bright sunshine

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:22, archived)
Yeah. It's not like those damn fuzzywuzzies can read a clock anyway.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:24, archived)
Just turn the face round so 12 is at the bottom, problem solved

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:25, archived)
Whoa. Dude. Whoa.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:36, archived)
but then midnight will be at 9 o'clock

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 9:45, archived)
I AM NOT A ROBOT

(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 1:09, archived)
:)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8g_t2tfbz8
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 1:30, archived)
I like that and raise you this classic
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygN8H3kI1qE
(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 2:19, archived)
I'm clicking I like this because I think it is good.

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 7:57, archived)

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