Eveninh

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 23:01, archived)

lol now it's morning

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 9 Aug 2016, 1:27, archived)

lol it's taken you all night to think of that

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 9 Aug 2016, 4:09, archived)

lol i don't think you know how time works

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 9 Aug 2016, 8:21, archived)

lol what a time waster, eh?

( $$ ✅, Tue 9 Aug 2016, 8:30, archived)

There's a bunch of mentally sub normal young adults in the juicer drinking with their care providers, solar powered spastic boozer's, whatever next ?

( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 19:32, archived)

One bloke needs a rocking chair, he's gonna give himself whiplash

( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 19:42, archived)

We used to get the odd group of spastics at lunchtime, very rarely in the evening.
They're ni trouble as long as they're not dribbling too much.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Aug 2016, 19:50, archived)

Don't bother me, they seem autism with issues, all fucking lumps tho, wouldn't fight any

( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 19:52, archived)

There's some mentally sub-normal older adults, posting on the internet.
Oh, wait, that's us.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 20:53, archived)

Yeah but we are here all the time, not just when it's sunny

( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 20:56, archived)

That's hardly an improvement.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 21:23, archived)

Well I think it is. So there

( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 22:21, archived)

it's always sunny on the talk board

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 22:37, archived)

here's a list of video games I'm looking forward to
no man's sky
bioshock collection
pes 2017
final fantasy xv
the last guardian
dishonored 2
sonic mania

what of it?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:26, archived)

this is a good place to make notes, so i can check this thread when i'm next in a games shop

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:27, archived)

Look, I don't want any trouble, ok?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:27, archived)

If it helps, I'm looking forward to No Man's Sky and Skyrim Remastered

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:28, archived)

Last Guardian, maybe

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:28, archived)

oh hey, skyrim remastered might be cool
i tried elder scrolls online and it was dog shit
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:33, archived)

Yeah, I had no interest in the online game at all

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:35, archived)

other people ruin everything
it's a science fact
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:59, archived)

The problem with being a grown up who likes video games
Is that I can't ever co-ordinate being online at the same time as any of my friends. It's not practical. I want a game that I can pick up and put down as and when I have the time.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:01, archived)

That's why I like cod online, I can dip in and out

( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:36, archived)

shove em up your mum

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:29, archived)

hey look, if this isn't relevant to your interests maybe we could talk about the raspberry pi 3 i picked up the other day?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:32, archived)

do you think they missed a trick by not calling it the raspberry pi 3.14159?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:35, archived)

yes

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:00, archived)

www.b3ta.com/questions/Tinkering/post2621385
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:43, archived)

cool, i just used my first one as an xbmc media centre
might do something a bit better with this one
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:48, archived)

I wouldn't mind learning python.
So I reckon I'm going to write a web front-end to control my vpn selections so I can control it from my phone and tings.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:50, archived)

your nan's pretty good with my python

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:54, archived)

Hit it with a rake did she?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:59, archived)

no, after she did that to my buddy william
i knew to keep her away from gardening tools
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:01, archived)

i've been told that if you know java, python won't be that hard to pick up

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:01, archived)

C and Java is my proper job.
So it probably won't be hard. But I'm less than enthusiastic about programming in my spare time as well.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:05, archived)

i noticed there is a new ratchet and clank out, might get that when the kids come back from their holidays

( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:31, archived)

i don't think i've played ratchet and clank, is it as good as crash bandicoot?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:36, archived)

i like them, plenty of fun, stories normally funny and loads of wild weapons

( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:38, archived)

I'm told the dreamcast one was 'reem'.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:43, archived)

i've only played the playstation ones, looks like they are doing a film this year

( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:47, archived)

Installed a psx emulator on my tablet. Runs fine but I need a ps3 controller or saink.
Parappa the rapper is fucking hard with a touch screen.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:49, archived)

I'm looking forward to pies 2017
and Command & Conquer: Pie edition

But seriously Jackbox Party Pack 3
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:33, archived)

jackbox party pack? sounds awful

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:40, archived)

They are actually very good when you have a bunch of people round the house with mobiles.
Trufax
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:41, archived)

Agreed, Drawful is always a good laugh

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:50, archived)

I'm looking forward to Civil Service Simulator 2017

( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:34, archived)

If you get to slowly poison Gove, I'm in

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:35, archived)

if it's anything like theme hospital i'd play the shit out of it

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:35, archived)

+t

( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:36, archived)

yeah, maybe if there's an election in 2017

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:41, archived)

<s>l</s> r

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:41, archived)

that's only for Xbox

( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:41, archived)

will pes 2017 have all licensed teams?
I can't handle North London Blue, West Midlands Village or Merseyside Red
( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:43, archived)

^ label whore

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:46, archived)

they used to call Ryan Giggs 'Gils'

( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:49, archived)

A young TH would make custom teams in Sensible Soccer
Such as "Rude Words United" who often fielded such legendary players as 'Tits' or 'Boobs'.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:49, archived)

It's arse on the wing
he's crossed it to wank
and prick scores!
( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:53, archived)

prick surges into the box

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:02, archived)

one of the new football games has pompey's ground in it
as some guy who worked on the game died and he was a fan
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:54, archived)

that's cool they did that for him

( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:57, archived)

indeed

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:03, archived)

nah, looks like it's going to be the same as always, unlicensed premier league and championship

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:56, archived)

gash

( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:58, archived)

Nope, never, it's made by Konami, EA have the backing and licences from FIFA to use proper player / team names
and considering EA have had it since the first FIFA games back in the 90s I doubt they'd give it up any time soon
( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:20, archived)

why can't they just both have licences though?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:23, archived)

Reasons
EDIT: A bit old but this article explains it
( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:27, archived)

oh ok, that's all of my questions answered satisfactorily

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:29, archived)

It amazes me how EA can sell the same game every year to football autists.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 19:07, archived)

Good selection of games there
Sonic Mania looks like a return to form for Sonic, they should never have attempted the 3D platforming.
There's some handheld games I'd add to that - Lady Layton looks like more of the same which is always good, and the new Pokemon games.
( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:49, archived)

yeah, it's only taken sega 15 years and the death of their console arm to realise what people want in a sonic game

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:58, archived)

Sonic was shite compared to mario anyway.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:14, archived)

My cousin had a fit playing Sonic
he's from the IOW to be fair, but still
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:15, archived)

Aw yeah, sonic 2 had those bonus 2-player stages that were well trippy.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:18, archived)

See, this is obvious trolling right here
2/10 must try harder
( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:21, archived)

I'm not trolling. Mario was better.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:23, archived)

I'd say Mario made the translation to 3D much better, and stuff like Mario 64 / Sunshine / Galaxy is better than the 3D Sonic installments
But the 2D ones it's entirely subjective - Mario World is a brilliant game but I can take or leave the original Mario Bros. games; I get their importance but I don't find them as fun as, say, Sonic 2, or Sonic and Knuckles

#ffsmuppswillyoufuckingshutup
( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:27, archived)

I just found sonic pretty samey.
I had sonic 2 years ago and swapped it for something else. Got sonic 1 and the first few levels appeared to be identical.

I had a megadrive as a kid and got a snes much later. The SNES definitely has more titles that are still playable.

Jungle/Desert strike are still alright on the MD though.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:31, archived)

The strike games were all great, even the later dodgy 3D ones

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:46, archived)

good list
zelda: breath of the wild
telltale's batman game
no man's sky
last guardian
adventure time lego dimensions
wwe 2k17
horizon: zero dawn
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:52, archived)

is that zelda game going to be on the new nintendo console?
or the wii u or something?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:00, archived)

Both, apparently
but I'll believe it's out when I see it on a shelf
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:03, archived)

can i get a wii u for cheap yet?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:05, archived)

I don't think so
Mine sits there, laughing at me. I glare at it.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:06, archived)

not really
mine still gets a fair bit of use due to smash bros and mario kart
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:08, archived)

Still about £250 brand new depending on what games you get with it

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:23, archived)

That's nice, here's a list grow-up stuff I'm looking forward to:
Dinner out with the wife on wednesday
Friends visiting next weekend
Baby's first word
Family holiday in the Autumn
New surgery being built next year
Getting a new car some time in the next couple of years
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:57, archived)

^upset

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 16:59, archived)

^jealous

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:25, archived)

i'm gonna get a new car next year, not sure what yet, maybe a kia ceed or something
what sort of prick car are you going to get?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:03, archived)

Mother in Law wants me to get a Range Rover. I think they're horrible but she promised to help pay for it so I'm tempted.
Otherwise I want a Tesla S, although I'd stay away from the autopilot mode obviously haha.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:24, archived)

prick

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:28, archived)

So your main choices are a cuntwagon and something woefully impractical with limited range?

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:37, archived)

The polite term is pussy wagon

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 18:06, archived)

haha, what a loser

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:04, archived)

When you're married and have children
None of those things are cool. None of them.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:05, archived)

Jesus. Why even bother staying alive?
I mean, now you've got the robots it's not even like the wife depends on you.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:08, archived)

lol gro up m8

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:10, archived)

tinyurl.com/h3353nt
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 17:12, archived)

My boss is overseeing my appraisal of my staff, tomorrow.
What's a sure fire way to impress?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:30, archived)

low-cut top and a balconette bra

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:34, archived)

Asking them if they are a member of the pen 15 club.
Then demanding to see the requirements of the pen 15 club.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:39, archived)

also, tell them they dropped their gay card

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:17, archived)

Start the meeting with "Silence in the courtyard, silence in the street, the biggest dick in England is just about to speak".
Then just sit there glaring at them.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:22, archived)

Give them stickers for things they are doing well , take a sticker away for areas of improvement

( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:41, archived)

Show him how much you can bench

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:41, archived)

monster munch, yesterday
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:44, archived)

All that lifting prepared me for that time I had to get rid of a bomb.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:46, archived)

do a FLID up the BUM more like

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:07, archived)

that was a bit of a stretch
SAID THE FLID!
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:16, archived)

Because of the size of my willy?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:23, archived)

without wishing to get too biological, i'd say that unless your willy is toothpick sized, it would involve some amount of stretching
unless said 'flid' is a bumslut
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:27, archived)

So, that's a "yes" then?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:31, archived)

well the dossier on you says toothpick size, so no

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:32, archived)

I have a right to see that dossier.
I think it may have been "sexed up".
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:51, archived)

well i certainly spaffed on it
if that's what you mean
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:55, archived)

You know very well that that's exactly what I mean.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:57, archived)

I don't really know what this means.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:44, archived)

Do you even lift, bro?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:47, archived)

I prefer to take the stairs.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:48, archived)

do the pussy monologue you did below
it'll go down even better than it did here
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:42, archived)

you manage people?
fuck
( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:47, archived)

the world is suddenly a much scarier place

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:15, archived)

Dance like nobody is watching. Love like no one is judging. Dream like there are no limits. Live like the world is all for you

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:49, archived)

whip out your cock

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:50, archived)

or whip out someone else's cock
way more impressive
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:00, archived)

especially if you whip it out of your own pants

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:15, archived)

^tggi

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:21, archived)

Base all your ratings on how well you think they'd fare in an office against a tiger with a cricket bat.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:50, archived)

I mean them with a cricket bat, not the tiger; obviously.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:51, archived)

That'd just be silly

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:51, archived)

It transpires that I misunderstood much of what brother Gormo said

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:52, archived)

Unless it's a Bengal tiger.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:52, archived)

They'd be fine
Tiger's are shit at using computers at the best of times. If you force them do it using a cricket bat, they've got no chance.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:51, archived)

Yeah tigers have a terrible WPM count
No thumbs you see
( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:52, archived)

"You type like a tiger"
Keeping that
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:53, archived)

How appropriate, you fight like a cow

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:17, archived)

I'd use a left arm quick with 3 slips and a gully , probe the outside edge

( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:55, archived)

sounds a bit silly

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:18, archived)

pull down your pants and shit on the floor

( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:54, archived)

Then claim it's a clever piece of satire on the politics of a modern workplace

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:56, archived)

"Right, so I'm playing the boss and the shit represents the work and the floor the workers."

( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:01, archived)

*offers payrise*

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:01, archived)

*proffers hayride*

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:18, archived)

*praises Hoff-Pride*

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:22, archived)

Do the Macarena
For about 2 hours
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:03, archived)

start promising people pay rises in front of your boss

( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:05, archived)

Haha
Free private health care for all!!!!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:08, archived)

It would be amazing to see his reaction as you offer someone 25% more

( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:09, archived)

and then say "you get more because...well....*winks*...you know"

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:12, archived)

Oh, he knows

( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:16, archived)

He knows
but he doesn't care
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:20, archived)

Ask him if he's SKILL

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:21, archived)

Is "skill" still penguin poo, or did it become an African Bum Disease?
I can never remember.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:25, archived)

*harp sound*
jelly.b3ta.com/talk/7847923
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:27, archived)

That was a cracking little thread actually
I enjoyed re-living that
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:29, archived)

Great, now manolith is bullying me in flashbacks.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:30, archived)

NO ESCAPE

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:33, archived)

Behead a member of staff who used the wrong activity code in their timesheet.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:24, archived)

Play Blankety Blank with them
Fire anyone who gives stupid answers that are not rude.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:27, archived)

Our local fish and chip shop is run by an ex hairdresser
He is so forgetfull he doesn't put salt and vinegar on the chips, he puts Blank instead
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:36, archived)

"Do I read the one that says answers or jokes?"

( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:38, archived)

Lovely lovely Liza Goddard ladies and gentlemen

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:40, archived)

Out?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:41, archived)

We have Out ladies and gentlemen
Manolith, $$, and Richard mcBeef what do you have written on your card
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:43, archived)

cock flavoured crispy bits

( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:45, archived)

And I see you've drawn some nice pubes on there as well
Bless
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:46, archived)

nanny batter

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:46, archived)

'on a broadway-inspired show about the deep fat fryer'

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:49, archived)

spunk
EDIT: FFS Richard.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:45, archived)

Two Hats has been going to his gym for the past 2 years
He has got so good at yoga, he cam put his Blank in his ear
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:51, archived)

Spunk

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:51, archived)

We have Spunk ladies and gentlemen
Lets go along the top and bottom rows, show your cards.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:52, archived)

I'll bet he can,
the dirty old bollocks.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:53, archived)

little penus

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:55, archived)

son of biggus dickus

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:56, archived)

giant inflated balls

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:56, archived)

make sure you don't make them any cups of tea

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:29, archived)

Say you can't appraise people when he's in the room
it's off-putting
( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 14:35, archived)

HAPPY WORLD CAT DAY
do you have pussies at home too?
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:35, archived)

All right, pussy, pussy, pussy!
Come on in pussy lovers! Here at the Titty Twister we're slashing pussy in half! Give us an offer on our vast selection of pussy, this is a pussy blow out! All right, we got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, we got hot pussy, cold pussy, we got wet pussy, we got smelly pussy, we got hairy pussy, bloody pussy, we got snappin' pussy, we got silk pussy, velvet pussy, naughahyde pussy! We even got horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy! Come on, you want pussy, come on in, pussy lovers! If we don't got it, you don't want it! Come on in, pussy lovers!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:41, archived)

Tragically, the imdb page I copied this from listed "nalga high pussy".
Attention pussy shoppers! Take advantage of our penny pussy sale! If you buy one piece of pussy at the regular price, you get another piece of pussy of equal or lesser value for only a penny! Try and beat pussy for a penny! If you can find cheaper pussy anywhere else, fuck it!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:42, archived)

Is that from The Aristocats?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:55, archived)

Fievel Goes West, actually.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 12:06, archived)

no she died :'(

( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:41, archived)

Rip charlton
m.imgur.com/sSgLw5X
( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:45, archived)

@-->-

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:48, archived)

Dunno what that is

( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:09, archived)

it's supposed to be a rose

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:15, archived)

Oh

( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:18, archived)

yeah

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:19, archived)

I don't think they recycle cats m8
You could try putting it in the food waste bin
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:30, archived)

The vet recycled her, 70 fucking quid , should have planted the body

( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:36, archived)

I used to drive past a pet crem on a regular basis.
The chimney was always smoking.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:38, archived)

When our first cat died we planted him at the end of the garden and made dad buy him a granite gravestone which said "In Loving Memory of Pushkin".
Which was a lie really, I don't think anyone loved him much at the end as the brain tumour made him extremely aggressive and he nearly put granny in the hospital when he savaged her leg.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:44, archived)

Yes
And she is a mardy bitch.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:44, archived)

not yet. gonna be looking after this lady for a bit soon though
i.imgur.com/1vokRi7.png
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:47, archived)

Just expect to find a random poo somewhere in the house as a dirty protest before she calms down.

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:49, archived)

yeah, i wouldn't be surprised
she knows me and the missus well enough but it's still a strange place innit. half expecting her to hide in the loft room for the first day or so
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:56, archived)

That is what she'll do
Ours hid under the stairs and under a bed for about a week.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:05, archived)

she's off her nut on acid or saink

( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:50, archived)

could be
the owners are into their party drugs
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:55, archived)

My parents' cat, Pinky, died when I was very young.
Tiny replaced him, and was a bully to all the local kittens. Can't say I was very fond of tiny, due to his habit of scratching the legs of whoever was preparing his food.
The in-laws' cat lived with us, briefly, but had to be put down after the father-in-law tripped over a chair and landed on her, crushing her back legs. I wasn't her greatest fan, but that was a shitty way to go.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:54, archived)

My dad had a cat called Smokey (because it was grey)
so he went out and bought another cat and called it The Bandit so he could say his cats were called Smokey and The Bandit. Idiot.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:56, archived)

i grew up with cats called smokey and bandit, smokey was a blue peter badge winner and appeared on the show

( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:57, archived)

Woah
Mind you, wouldn't surprise me to find out that his cat won a blue peter badge and it justs didn't occur to him to tell me.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:58, archived)

Might as well just number cats, given the attention they don't pay when their names are called.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:59, archived)

what other pets have you had, mm?
did any of them show you any affection? because some stuff is starting to add up here
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:01, archived)

My parents bought a dog once Tiny was gone, in an effort to cure me of my fear of them (dogs, not my parents).
Pandora (little bull terrier, runt of her litter) was a lovely dog, and clearly loved me the best - she bit both my mum and brother, and my dad accidentally broke her leg, once. Used to take her on lots of walks during the school holidays, and have many fond memories of throwing sticks in the park and playing tug-of-war with her.
She ended up with a bald head after shoving her nose into a dead hedgehog - dad got rid of the fleas by wrapping his hand in sellotape and patting her, which took out a lot of hair that never grew back.
I wasn't there when she was put down, which was a bit of a shame.

Had a few fish, too, but they don't love you back anymore than cats do.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:10, archived)

Feel a bit sad, now.
Although I have just remembered the time our neighbour's rabbit escaped by digging under the fence, and Tiny killed it when it emerged into our garden. That was quite funny, in a sick sort of way. Tiny was a right bastard.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:12, archived)

naw, i've never had a dog or cat as a pet
only hamsters and goldfish. in the same tank.
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:21, archived)

I'm stupidly allergic to hamsters.
Can't even be in the same house without wheezing.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:24, archived)

You're not supposed to put them in your mouth, m8

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:30, archived)

How else was I supposed to a achieve that Marlon Brando look for the am-dram production of The Godfather?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:37, archived)

Talk about chewing the scenery

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:41, archived)

do i have to?

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 12:06, archived)

What have you done to deserve such disrespect?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 12:09, archived)

your nan

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 12:22, archived)

lol, nans!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 12:38, archived)

I would call it 'cat' if I had one

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:01, archived)

because you fancy cat deeley?
or cat stevens?
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:05, archived)

No, because it's a cat
What's wrong with you today?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:09, archived)

i've got a case of the mondays

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:17, archived)

Yeah, the weekend did seem a bit short
I could do with another day
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:31, archived)

they should just cut the shit and reverse the week
2 days work, 5 day weekend
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:41, archived)

Mrs Hats is severely allergic to cats, so no
I might have one otherwise, who can tell. Last one I had was part abyssinian and he looked like Gizmo from classic 80's movie The Gremlins. So naturally we called him Julius.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:54, archived)

couldn't you get one of those nightmarish hairless ones?

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:58, archived)

I could
But should I?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:59, archived)

no
get a salamander instead
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:00, archived)

Considered buying an axolotl once
but...well, I'm sure you can guess why that didn't happen
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:00, archived)

were you going to get one, just so that when they handed it to you
you could say 'thanxalotl'?
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:03, archived)

no

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:03, archived)

:(

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:05, archived)

Might have been funny to say something like
"So wrap it in foil and bake for 10 minutes at 180 degrees right?"
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:11, archived)

might have been

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:19, archived)

Who can tell
They were a bit funny in that shop anyway. The one that used to be on the corner of New Road.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:29, archived)

don't get many high street pet shops any more
it's all big discount pet warehouses now, innit

i used to go to the pet shop and the record shop if ever i had to change trains at cosham station.
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:43, archived)

You won't catch a train in either of those places.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 12:38, archived)

I had one of those, they're funny looking but overall pretty boring pets

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:11, archived)

Oh, I'm sure they don't do much
I'd just enjoy telling people that it's smiling at them because it likes them
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:15, archived)

Have you considered adopting a spesh?

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 12:50, archived)

youtu.be/Q6pbZLiLt30
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 12:57, archived)

No.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:00, archived)

no neva

( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:56, archived)

oh come on now, really

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:59, archived)

okay, we did have a neighbour's cat that used to turn up at the house
we fed it and let it watch TV, but the neighbours moved and we never saw it again.
( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:05, archived)

what did it like to watch?
this PAWning? itv MEWS? loCATion loCATion loCATion?
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:08, archived)

anything with CAT Deeley! lol

( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:11, archived)

or TABBY Titmuss!!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:14, archived)

what ever happened to her?
prolly dead now
( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:37, archived)

Apparently it was reported that she changed her name and moved to hollywood to embark on an acting career
That was last year
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:49, archived)

she changed it to channing tatum

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:52, archived)

Shagging Cake-Bum more like

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:57, archived)

now that i think about it, you're right

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 12:17, archived)

Debbie Titburger I bet

( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:55, archived)

Correct

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:55, archived)

I hope she makes it
along with the other 90% of the population of LA. Keep dreaming guys. We will all make it, one day.
( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:59, archived)

I liked it when she had a threesome with Blue Peter and a prostitute

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 12:01, archived)

John Noakes that dirty bollocks, eh?

( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 12:06, archived)

Go down, Shep
disgusting
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 12:06, archived)

'giving someone a blue peter badge' sounds a bit seedy when you put apostrophes around it

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 12:24, archived)

Fingermouse.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:13, archived)

disgusting

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:16, archived)

Yeah, there was never a dog on Fingerbobs, so you wouldn't have enjoyed it.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:20, archived)

good one, 2 can

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:22, archived)

Oof.
Your words wound me.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:25, archived)

well, try a bit harder then

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:26, archived)

I've always thought of myself as being very trying.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:27, archived)

i just try not to think of you

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:44, archived)

Three of them
I like kittehs.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:23, archived)

^ fan of the pussy

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 12:59, archived)

Well...
Ive got one and my partner (howdy) has one. so now I have 2, since he moved in over the weekend..
And they hate each other right now...
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 12:25, archived)

In time they will respect each other
And then work together to kill you.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 12:58, archived)

RIP Midget Farrelly

( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 13:27, archived)

Morning

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 7:19, archived)

Hello.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 7:42, archived)

How do MuMo
My legs are fucked
( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 7:49, archived)

How so?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 7:53, archived)

Just from walking yesterday, did a couple of big hills in the peak district, feeling it today
Good bod though

EDIT: Here's a rough map of the route we took. We went from Grindleford up Padley Gorge, then circled around towards Hathersage.

And that say "Higger Tor" before you get any ideas
( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 7:57, archived)

yeah but forget all that
did you catch any pokemon?
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 8:03, archived)

None unfortunately, nothing going in the rural areas
and we were in the middle of nowhere
( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 8:31, archived)

everyone'll have stopped playing by the time i get my phone back, i reckon

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 8:38, archived)

Not me, they told me I have to catch them all

( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 8:41, archived)

only if you want to be the very best, like no-one ever was

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 9:10, archived)

my friend showed me how to use the lucky eggs properly to level up quickly

( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:30, archived)

yer, you need a load of pidgies or whatever, right?

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:39, archived)

yeah, whatever you have loads of, then evolve them all during lucky egg time, bang you zoom up the levels

( mongychops, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:41, archived)

I've already sold my phone with them all on to a wealthy Chinese family

( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 8:55, archived)

sensible

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 9:11, archived)

Despite growing up with a general hatred of ramblers, I seem to be becoming one.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 8:37, archived)

youtu.be/GJg3AmVu-p0
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 8:39, archived)

I've always been one for country bods
although lately they've evolved from going out with a load of beer and weed and getting smashed in the countryside to taking proper food, planning a route and walking it, before going to a local pub and getting smashed in the countryside
( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 8:48, archived)

I had a go at some teenagers for littering, the other day.
I've turned into my dad.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 8:51, archived)

you'll start saying "It weren't like that in my day" to people soon

( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 8:56, archived)

I remember when b3ta was a thriving web community.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 9:04, archived)

bullshit

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 9:27, archived)

Lies

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 9:53, archived)

If you like to ramble, the monster is your man
You get fit, get lost, it's all the same to him
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 8:50, archived)

get to the point man.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 9:37, archived)

I once met Richard Osman up Ivinghoe Beacon.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 9:45, archived)

met did
Ivinghoe the
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 9:54, archived)

oh man, good entrance
y'alright?
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 9:57, archived)

Yeah, alright
You?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 9:57, archived)

y'know, the usual
nice weekend?
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:03, archived)

It was ok
Ate so much crap that I now feel crap myself. Went to The Bold Forrester up at Sarisbury Green. Don't bother. Cheap shit food at unreasonably high prices.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:14, archived)

well, you are what you eat
but that's disappointing. we went to a place on albert road on friday that was crap but that's to be expected.
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:19, archived)

Which place was that?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:23, archived)

www.loveyourpub.co.uk/the-shack-bar-kitchen-southsea-2/
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:25, archived)

Oh right, one to avoid then!
There's a new grill place that's opened up right round the corner from me. Used to be the Cinnamon Tree curry house. Haven't tried it yet, but I plan to.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:40, archived)

2Hats returns with a textbook Strikey-G!
Welcome back, old timer.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:03, archived)

*firm handshake*

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:13, archived)

Also, I'm not sure "up the beacon" is a real thing
but it certainly sounds rude, right?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:45, archived)

It really does!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 11:30, archived)

morning mupps

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 7:50, archived)

Morning mano
Seems a bit quiet today like
( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 7:58, archived)

give it time

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 8:02, archived)

Bangarang

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Aug 2016, 8:24, archived)

Bogaloo

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 8:31, archived)

A very Russell Kane type of day

( $$ ✅, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 8:34, archived)

It's a bit Nick GRIMshaw up here
See, because it's raining and cloudy, so it's a bit GRIM
( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 9:24, archived)

It's Phil Collins here mate.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:18, archived)

Ahoy hoy
Jared Leto totally channelled Cesar Romero for his Joker, and not in a good way.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 8:49, archived)

That movie is panned by critics yet loved by idiots, make of that what you will

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 8:52, archived)

Something somewhere has gone badly wrong with DC films
It was like they looked at Guardians of the Galaxy and said "we want that coin, but do it with less heart and thought please."
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 9:00, archived)

Face paint over a mustache?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 8:52, archived)

Never go full Romero

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 9:00, archived)

No that was his brother Groucho Romero

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 9:02, archived)

Heath Ledger said it was a stellar performance

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 9:25, archived)

Morning Grrrma...
erm...hello?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 9:57, archived)

i'm sorry
grrrmachine passed on while you were away
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:20, archived)

Well that's a shame

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:22, archived)

So that massive turd didn't kill you
*dismantles Two Hats shrine*
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:33, archived)

No, apparently Grrrmachine died before he got the chance
oh hahahahaha
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 10:40, archived)

Alright forum chums
I am in Cheltenham again. Oh what a life. Where are you again?
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 22:18, archived)

Manchester
Off to bed, back to the grind tomorrow
( H.B.Mupps, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 22:27, archived)

I've triple locked all the doors as a precaution and I'll be sat outside my baby's room armed with an air rifle and my wedding sword.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 23:25, archived)

I don't know what any of this means
But being armed with your "wedding sword" is likely to get you locked up if there are kids about.

Is that black man still masturbating in your greenhouse?
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 8 Aug 2016, 3:05, archived)

Alright dickfaces

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 11:08, archived)

Fuck a horse or something

( H.B.Mupps, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 12:10, archived)

LOVELY as ever The LOVELY Muppsy.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 7 Aug 2016, 17:22, archived)

Hi, I still visit here occasionally
just thought you'd all feel better knowing that.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 15:05, archived)

WOAH! It's The LOVELY UToL!
*Chucks a couple of Japanese scholgirls into your tank.*
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 7 Aug 2016, 17:22, archived)

Yeah all good, yourself?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 15:43, archived)

He's a very rude man

( mongychops, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 17:09, archived)

'NIng The LOVELY mongy. Bivvy and fishing news update please.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 7 Aug 2016, 17:23, archived)

Bit too warm for productive fishing stuj, Tuesday to Friday look better

( mongychops, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 17:33, archived)

'Ning The LOVELY filthy boarder mofaha.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 7 Aug 2016, 17:21, archived)

still not dead
so that's a plus
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 15:55, archived)

Another victory right there The LOVELY Smashy.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 7 Aug 2016, 17:20, archived)

alright The LOVELY Mister Haitch.
I been thinking about getting up off my arse and making foood for about two hours now. Tempted to use up some of my posh sausages by doing them with a bit of pasta in chinese curry sauce. Then again, I might just carry on boozing it up for the next hour. Baba's kebab van will probably have pitched up by the shops by then.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 7 Aug 2016, 17:20, archived)

Have chips with that, braw

( mongychops, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 17:34, archived)

Yeah, might leave out the pasta and go with chips.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 7 Aug 2016, 17:37, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7972725
( vladimir, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 17:32, archived)

That looks like a lot of fun

( mongychops, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 17:35, archived)

?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 7 Aug 2016, 17:38, archived)

nah mat8, half left

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 18:29, archived)

look,
vid.me/JnVi

I didn't get a second video after i adjusted the carb, so it sounds a bit like 2 tin midgets having a fight, but wooohooo
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 7 Aug 2016, 18:58, archived)

good work!

( $$ ✅, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 19:13, archived)

I'm well chuffed.
Needs an MOT then I'm off out to pick up some biker babes.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 7 Aug 2016, 19:16, archived)

pulling wheelies and tail
nice
( $$ ✅, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 19:38, archived)

i might even do some burnouts on the strip

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 7 Aug 2016, 19:40, archived)

I recommend it

( $$ ✅, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 19:43, archived)

disgusting

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 20:32, archived)

i'll pop endos out front of the Hampshire Boulevard to attract all the cool biker gays

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 7 Aug 2016, 20:39, archived)

friend of mine was complaining that HB is shit now
as there's 'not enough gays'
( manolith hooray for me, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 20:43, archived)

we used to drink in there because one of my flatmates was gay. I had some quite good nights in there.
some of the drag acts were a hoot.

edit: what was the gay club up the top of the shopping bit? never went in there, but i was told it was a mad place.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 7 Aug 2016, 20:47, archived)

Last time I ended up in a gay club, I found loads of packs of lube in my jacket pocket.
I think my mate had been putting them there on the sly.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 20:59, archived)

maybe that's some sort of secret gay code for meet me in the bogs for a bumming.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 7 Aug 2016, 21:12, archived)

I guess some disappointed guy is out of lube.
I've had 2 gays proposition me in my life and both were ancient. One was about 80. Disappointing really.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 21:30, archived)

it's probably because of your stupid face.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 7 Aug 2016, 21:32, archived)

Probably

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 21:35, archived)

heil

( $$ ✅, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 19:13, archived)

itt fagots

( mongychops, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 21:12, archived)

Gay juicer is still a juicer

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 7 Aug 2016, 21:26, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 8:39, archived)

Morning all, I am also a bit urrrggh from drinking cider all day
Gonna go walk it off in the peak district though
( H.B.Mupps, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 9:58, archived)

take mcbeef with you, he's falling apart at the seams

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 10:09, archived)

I would
But I'm not going to
( H.B.Mupps, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 12:08, archived)

at the reems more like

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 18:29, archived)

internet is 25 years old
how's that change your life?
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 6 Aug 2016, 16:05, archived)

It must be older than that, surely?

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Sat 6 Aug 2016, 16:17, archived)

you're smart

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 6 Aug 2016, 16:49, archived)

Well haven't I got egg on my face!

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Sat 6 Aug 2016, 19:01, archived)

+nick cl

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 6 Aug 2016, 21:59, archived)

scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-0/p206x206/13933522_1152951111436125_1751615947_n.jpg?_nc_ad=z-m&oh=844227d32fe08e2788b5a2370918ca40&oe=57A7CDC1
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 6 Aug 2016, 22:39, archived)

Gonna go and test drive a Honda Accord
Who fucking wants some then? I'll fucking have you
( Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 6 Aug 2016, 11:45, archived)

If the dealer won't throw in chariot scythes walk away.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Sat 6 Aug 2016, 12:07, archived)

scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-12/13933416_1152288788169024_939206523_n.jpg?oh=61c8bed905c2a757df550d29582cc525&oe=57A7E7F0
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 6 Aug 2016, 13:42, archived)

scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-12/13900600_1152292884835281_1848256718_n.jpg?oh=90e66dfd388d84d25faaeffffaebba7c&oe=57A80CCE
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 6 Aug 2016, 13:45, archived)

scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-12/13936846_1152312404833329_510143589_n.jpg?oh=70ea8718ca679ff8466a17dccc075560&oe=57A806EF
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 6 Aug 2016, 13:55, archived)

imgur.com/TlrVNbc
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Sat 6 Aug 2016, 14:34, archived)

A bit "Where's Wally?" that one.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 6 Aug 2016, 14:59, archived)

imgur.com/WVadNlL
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Sat 6 Aug 2016, 15:03, archived)

imgur.com/XIiWxdv
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Sat 6 Aug 2016, 15:20, archived)

Shameful misspelling of "Fratelli".

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 6 Aug 2016, 16:34, archived)

A free samurai sword of social justice with every purchase

( mongychops, Sat 6 Aug 2016, 14:10, archived)

talk board (tork bord) noun

The second of B3ta's messageboards to be made.
Images cannot be posted here, it is purely for banter and conversation. Swinging wildly from intellectual discussion to rabid insults, often in the same post, the talk board is an acquired taste.
( vladimir, Sat 6 Aug 2016, 15:24, archived)

^funsponge

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Sat 6 Aug 2016, 15:30, archived)

s7.postimg.org/iqhdvbtd7/funsponge.jpg
( vladimir, Sun 7 Aug 2016, 13:02, archived)

Hands up if you're in the pub
alt: anything good on telly?
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 20:21, archived)

Just finished watching Stranger Things
S'alright
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 21:15, archived)

Hi grrrry. Earlier I could've asked you what the Polish was for 'dried' mushrooms, but you weren't here so I used Google translate. Thanks for nothing.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 21:34, archived)

What if Marty Feldman was in The Big Sleep?
imgur.com/a/bdd1C
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 21:35, archived)

What if Ron Jeremy was Lexi Belle?
scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t35.0-12/13931472_1151130328284870_2122387287_o.jpg?oh=442783a3f4ae6d74f988e6a296f7e1ef&oe=57A752CE
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:16, archived)

What if Barry Chuckle was a policeman?
www.dogsonacid.com/attachments/img_20160805_204234-jpg.133392/
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:20, archived)

What if Timmy Mallett was in lemon party?
scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-12/13957620_1151164881614748_174145156_n.jpg?oh=002426f3df80ee790cd7bd643859590a&oe=57A67D45
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:23, archived)

Haha I did a Mallet one earlier.
imgur.com/N3herEB
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:25, archived)

imgur.com/VrQDuc1
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:31, archived)

Would win pretty much every image challenge with this one
scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t35.0-12/13898638_1151188498279053_428219383_o.jpg?oh=ffc32e3bd3103da36f11135cf05438b8&oe=57A78DF9
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:35, archived)

scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-0/p206x206/13933317_1151191861612050_1028171214_n.jpg?_nc_ad=z-m&oh=edd9084e5d5830bedb5ed24361d92813&oe=57A7A568
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:36, archived)

Lol at both of those

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:38, archived)

Team Gary Barlow

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 21:37, archived)

What if Gary Barlow was in Throbbing Gristle?
imgur.com/lGTFPqm
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 21:58, archived)

With these greyscale face swapping skills you could be king of /board

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:00, archived)

Oh right, I just bothered to look further down the page

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:01, archived)

I reckon it might be funny to post them there anyway.
Bound to be lots of upset despite it being my own work.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:04, archived)

U dint filta

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:06, archived)

Eh?

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:09, archived)

needs more lens flare

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:15, archived)

And creepy WB comments in italics about wanking at 7am while "researching" barely-legal film starlets

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:26, archived)

check out the vectors on this:
phwoar!
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sat 6 Aug 2016, 0:17, archived)

What if baldmonkey was Rocky from Mask?
scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-0/p206x206/13900935_1151153361615900_632514612_n.jpg?_nc_ad=z-m&oh=dc4e05b8b98d3635e26622e4c298cca0&oe=57A68A2D
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:19, archived)

matt trakker was my fave

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:20, archived)

What if Aphex Twin joined Chas and Dave?
www.dogsonacid.com/attachments/img_20160805_205718-jpg.133393/
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:21, archived)

what if Eamonn Holmes was in slayer?
scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t35.0-12/13901929_1151175194947050_1192395178_o.jpg?oh=87aacdc4a266109d64f6be5347173bca&oe=57A69576
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:30, archived)

I think I've broke it.
www.dogsonacid.com/attachments/img_20160805_223950-jpg.133399/
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:42, archived)

ha
scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-12/13936869_1151212021610034_690581123_n.jpg?oh=c16177d1bc6fa2bc91023ab8f7b91059&oe=57A79522
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:46, archived)

scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t35.0-12/13950902_1151226234941946_1513863816_o.jpg?oh=0b40eab24a1fbbf90974edf2fd7794b8&oe=57A77A4A
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:54, archived)

imgur.com/X49tHyy
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:55, archived)

scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t35.0-12/13898379_1151251338272769_1516048440_o.jpg?oh=375a15e6c1b84a3cf5813463f2089d6b&oe=57A74435
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 23:05, archived)

Ha!
I asked for big toe but the results were shit.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 23:10, archived)

jesus
scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t35.0-12/13939964_1151219734942596_2008286238_o.jpg?oh=48b1ac5d1a596cbe76e1ea3cb296859b&oe=57A79262
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:49, archived)

scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t35.0-12/13950915_1151226088275294_88084328_o.jpg?oh=dc55809877230c0fa87ebb5a575f999b&oe=57A67B30
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:51, archived)

I'm not convinced
scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t35.0-12/13931565_1151229351608301_156302980_o.jpg?oh=abfef98446def9d556d6062a9c16bd65&oe=57A68B9D
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:53, archived)

can anybody ask it to spiderify someone
obviously I'm not going anywhere near it
( vladimir, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:55, archived)

here ya go
scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-12/13942214_1151239098273993_376589650_n.jpg?oh=fee89e3609b17148a76d98bc2ae7c1d6&oe=57A75BC8
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:57, archived)

8-D 8-D 8-D 8-D 8-D 8-D 8-D 8-D 8-D
( vladimir, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:59, archived)

scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t35.0-12/13898295_1149895815074988_597100414_o.jpg?oh=e359ab34cfc45a502098af1bea9e9d61&oe=57A7767A
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:56, archived)

not sure it got that one right
societyandspace.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/ugrabl1.jpg
( vladimir, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:58, archived)

gah!
scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t35.0-12/13901999_1151244134940156_2065836739_o.jpg?oh=9abaa5bc49088d2460257baf2163b70f&oe=57A7A924
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 23:00, archived)

it certainly likes that one image
scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t35.0-12/13898143_1151250041606232_1674345251_o.jpg?oh=e8c2adbf0012037b49461cd762b13930&oe=57A7AFEF
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 23:04, archived)

that's it, the modern world's beyond me

( vladimir, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 23:04, archived)

I don't follow Doctor Who but I think this was the big plot twist in season 35, Billie Piper is actually the Millenium Falcon

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 23:08, archived)

....whoah.
I knew it.
( vladimir, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:55, archived)

See also
imgur.com/jOCIyOP
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:59, archived)

I can't see what you've shopped

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 23:00, archived)

scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-12/13937029_1151329274931642_460630254_n.jpg?oh=34a067640a4116d0c7bb63a5999abcf8&oe=57A77CF2
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 23:38, archived)

Woah!
scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-12/13933209_1151259888271914_1227389040_n.jpg?oh=e9f760061d203e85a8d8f3e664cf5a1f&oe=57A68F00
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 23:08, archived)

imgur.com/1xBks1G
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 23:12, archived)

o:

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 23:12, archived)

www.dogsonacid.com/attachments/c9d82282545824a9752aac6f373ccadc08c081656c1a25ae29-pimgpsh_mobile_save_distr-jpg.133400/
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 23:22, archived)

scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-12/13942332_1151294074935162_2126874699_n.jpg?oh=42da853a8487be09eca86d5aeeda895b&oe=57A78973
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 23:23, archived)

scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t35.0-12/13902060_1151299138267989_105291059_o.jpg?oh=628df16082bcd7d102aeff3676f5ccd3&oe=57A7C6D2
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 23:24, archived)

hahaha

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 23:27, archived)

scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-12/13900989_1151317461599490_342504496_n.jpg?oh=39fd26d239fd1f723e9597d1515eb2a6&oe=57A7AA52
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 23:33, archived)

scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t35.0-12/13898680_1151344841596752_708546341_o.jpg?oh=0f02fdfe4b0fc54a3da217448a59c330&oe=57A7A750
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 23:48, archived)

Hahaha

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 23:50, archived)

What if nick Griffin wasn't a boss-eyed racist?
imgur.com/jyCk6Xy
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 23:49, archived)

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/aug/05/playing-pokemon-go-crashed-car-experience

(I’m 28)

lol
( vladimir, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:23, archived)

What's better or worse Vlad. I don't use any form of social media check no updates, but I do download silly little games ?

( mongychops, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:35, archived)

well we're not judgemental here are we

( vladimir, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 22:54, archived)

Philosophical questions are the best
imgur.com/a/40IFU
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 23:17, archived)

Alright, dickfaces
On my way to hospital now. What are you on your way to?
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 14:51, archived)

happiness

( $$ ✅, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 14:56, archived)

Alright

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:08, archived)

Some alternative post office a mile away because the company's fired all its postmen

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 14:58, archived)

Pricks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:08, archived)

The juicer

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:01, archived)

Hotfuck

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:09, archived)

Horbs
gonna go drink some free Kozel while eating a bag of flour and salt. For all intents and purposes I'm about to make bread in my stomach
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:13, archived)

are you getting that dick removed from your face?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:08, archived)

I may be

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:09, archived)

Having a ruby at the inlaws
tomorrow, lunch with mother. Then bbq and beer at the inlaws. I'm going to see if I can go for the trifecta, and blag free meals on sunday.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:25, archived)

i.imgur.com/FzWyPCp.gifv
( $$ ✅, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:31, archived)

my questions are as follows
1.) who the hell comes up with these party game ideas?
2.) why on earth does anybody agree to participate?
( vladimir, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:36, archived)

1. Chris Tarrant
2. Cash prize of £5
( $$ ✅, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:39, archived)

it all makes sense now

( vladimir, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:42, archived)

STEVE...STEVE, PUT ME DOWN. STEVE, THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING. STEVE, LISTEN TO ME!!!!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:50, archived)

*Steve cannot hear Eric over the noise created by a combination of his vigorous thrusting and grunting, and the squeak of the reluctant-to-pop balloon against their clothing. Steve continues, oblivious to the increasingly desperate protests of Eric. The atmosphere, previously festive and ebullient, changes subtly. Steve's face becomes fixed into a mask of grim determination. Eric begins, quietly at first, to cry*
( vladimir, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:00, archived)

Roll for DEX, difficulty 15

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:18, archived)

I'm sorry I don't understand, I've read this post several times now and all I can make out is you are having between three and five meals tomorrow, do I have this wrong somehow?

( vladimir, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:33, archived)

he's been away for a while in a place where they don't speak english
we should be thankful he's making any sense at all!
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:42, archived)

gosh where has he been, like wales or something?

( vladimir, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:48, archived)

Worse, Cornwall

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:57, archived)

Imagine a wall made of corn
Haha, imagine it! I mean, what's that protecting, eh? Nothing! NOTHING.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:59, archived)

seems to have worked on this dickhead
thumbs.dreamstime.com/x/corn-cob-girl-standing-next-to-wall-59665623.jpg
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:10, archived)

i'd give her a buttered nob in her gob eh

( mongychops, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:14, archived)

wahey!
LADS LADS LADS
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:15, archived)

It's probably a bloke, I've made that mistake before

( mongychops, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:20, archived)

Curry tonight, lunch with my mother tomorrow, bbq tomorrow night with the inlaws
sorry if I wasn't clearer
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:49, archived)

i stil don't get it
what's a bbq? i've certainly never been invited to one
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:52, archived)

It's one of those latin abbreviations
it basically means "food based event that people don't turn up to"
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:55, archived)

originally coined by caesar, who declared on seeing the aftermath of a particularly depressing al fresco feast, Barbi, Burni, Queasi
( vladimir, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:06, archived)

well if he insisted on serving his new salad, i'm not surprised

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:15, archived)

I want to say pffft but I worry this thread is creeping towards a debate about whether it has chicken in it or not

( vladimir, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:17, archived)

Obviously not, salad innit?
The closest you can get to meat in a salad is cheese, stands to reason
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:22, archived)

oh christ I was worried this might happen and now look, there's no putting it back in the box now

( vladimir, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:26, archived)

da-dah dah dah dah dah, HEY!
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:26, archived)

I've actually been mildly intrigued by some of the salads in this Moroccan cook book.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:27, archived)

pomegranate or GTFO

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:48, archived)

gotta go pick my mate up because she is a lazy cow

( mongychops, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:45, archived)

pick up as in $$'s gif?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:52, archived)

don't be so crude young man

( mongychops, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:03, archived)

sorry,
i've got that friday feeling^TM
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:11, archived)

best get down the clap clinic then OHOOOOOOOO
damn I'm fucking funny
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:23, archived)

sounds like i'll see you and funny down there then!!!!!!!!!

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:27, archived)

Pfffft

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 19:12, archived)

kookykitsch.com/images/stories/virtuemart/product/converted_files/Portals/0/productimages/1621_0070f.jpg
+ olith
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 20:03, archived)

Dunno. Haven't made plans. Might go the shop but might put it off until tomorrow.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:46, archived)

fortune favours the bold, m8

( $$ ✅, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:52, archived)

b
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:01, archived)

Gonna go the shop. Getting a delivery tomorrow now.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:26, archived)

the grave, obviously

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:52, archived)

this is the kind of post the "I like this!" button was DESIGNED for

( vladimir, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:54, archived)

thanks... i think?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:15, archived)

it's what I was going to post, that's the first thing that popped into my head, what can I say

( vladimir, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:18, archived)

what can you saaaaaaay?
you can say the trombone...
OOMPAH OOMPAH OOMPAH PAH, OOMPAH PAH, OOMPAH PAH!

*shrugs*
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:22, archived)

:-D

( vladimir, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:24, archived)

THE FUTURE!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 15:58, archived)

garlic bread? garlic bread?

( $$ ✅, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:06, archived)

*sings* it's gonna be the future soon, and it won't always be this way
when the things that make you weak and strange get engineered away
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:13, archived)

I'd give the hospital a miss if I were you, full of sick cunts

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:36, archived)

and that's just the gynaecology department!
lololololololol
( $$ ✅, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 16:41, archived)

we have a right laugh here

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 18:43, archived)

Selfish prick, you're supposed to ask if we want you to get us anything.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 20:01, archived)

enough of that now

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:19, archived)

passed the time though, eh?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:22, archived)

it proved briefly hilarious, and for that I am grateful
Thanolith.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:33, archived)

it was no dingbats of friday quiz

( mongychops, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:35, archived)

what happened to the kent quiz?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:38, archived)

www.kentonline.co.uk/kent/news/the-friday-news-quiz-100218/
( mongychops, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:49, archived)

7

( $$ ✅, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:52, archived)

nice

( mongychops, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:57, archived)

5

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:57, archived)

a decent attempt

( mongychops, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:58, archived)

mostly guesses
i liked the pic of iggy
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:59, archived)

i wonder if his owners got him back

( mongychops, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 14:01, archived)

he could still be out there
like the littlest scaly hobo
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 14:17, archived)

8
so proud
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 14:01, archived)

highest so far

( mongychops, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 14:02, archived)

7, darn

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 14:04, archived)

a noble effort

( mongychops, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 14:04, archived)

3
*grumbles*
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 14:10, archived)

You tried

( mongychops, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 14:15, archived)

only liars and thieves eat grumblecaaaakes
those people go to prison
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 14:15, archived)

I wonder where the doves is?

( $$ ✅, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:39, archived)

Too soon, $$ :(

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 14:11, archived)

can't do dingbats every week or it won't be special

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:55, archived)

I'll pass you in a minute!

( $$ ✅, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:42, archived)

that sounded disgusting
I take it back
( $$ ✅, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:42, archived)

thanks mat8

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:57, archived)

Guten tag meine lieblinge!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:45, archived)

sho me ur peanus plz

( $$ ✅, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:47, archived)

This made me chuckle much more than it should have

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:48, archived)

*presents little penus*

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:52, archived)

if there was a show called 'little penus', you would indeed be the presenter

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:58, archived)

IT'S A PUPPET
+M'lud
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 14:04, archived)

eine liebl
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:47, archived)

mein gott

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:53, archived)

Apparently it's International Beer Day™
Anybody like Kozel? You can get a couple of free pints if you briefly install a shit app on your phone
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 14:49, archived)

nah, my kids always bring me back big bottles of that, never drink them too yeasty

( mongychops, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 14:53, archived)

do you have to go somewhere in particular to get them?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 14:53, archived)

Speffic pubs, I'm assuming anywhere that sells it on draft
I only looked into because the juicer at the end of my street sells it, and they're in the deal so that's a couple of cheeky free ones after work
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 14:56, archived)

hey, cool
microsoft have made a thing that effectively makes /board and all who post there useless:
www.somethingawful.com/photoshop-phriday/project-murphy-nothitler/1/
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:31, archived)

I've been using this for the past few months
It is totally hit and miss, so exactly like /board.

If you click the robot icon on Skype you can find this and a whole load of other different ones.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:39, archived)

i just found out about it today and it has made my morning

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:43, archived)

It already was wasn't it?

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:40, archived)

well, yeah

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 12:06, archived)

scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-12/13933332_1149837208414182_1004413970_n.jpg?oh=71d6f18d8bc51125db85b482ba71ab4b&oe=57A6AA5C
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:41, archived)

scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-12/13942488_1149835081747728_77040882_n.jpg?oh=7db48def754edb6adc993bd76df73f31&oe=57A72291
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:41, archived)

scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-12/13900947_1149838181747418_435634142_n.jpg?oh=1cf60c574e3fb7b3c39cf0313f9647ed&oe=57A6FDCE
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:42, archived)

scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-12/13957528_1149842725080297_1144251492_n.jpg?oh=ce9042ee6f8739b26b4b0c37256ee438&oe=57A69B59
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:54, archived)

scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-0/p206x206/13942185_1149843811746855_701092529_n.jpg?_nc_ad=z-m&oh=16dce32bcf514c8599f1fd8560c2c85e&oe=57A5D489
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:55, archived)

What if?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:42, archived)

scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-12/13936724_1149838248414078_379147140_n.jpg?oh=9933f60c5fb80062474961b589dda595&oe=57A5D706
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:42, archived)

Well, that's certainly more useful than Windows 10.
Free WiFi on the Oxford Park & Ride - it's like I'm living in the future!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:41, archived)

a guy i used to work with moved there
and he insists on writing it 'oxfnord'. i don't know why.
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:44, archived)

Either he's read the Illuminatus! trilogy, or he's a prick.
Most likely both.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:45, archived)

He's a prick. So are most people who live here.
Except me.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:46, archived)

I've just remembered that I applied for Oxford Brookes, but I can't remember of I turned them down, or they me.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:48, archived)

we turned you down
grades weren't good enough
( $$ ✅, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 12:04, archived)

and word got out that he can't make tea properly

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 12:07, archived)

imgur.com/23DrDNv
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 12:28, archived)

Probably for the best.
scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-12/13957555_1149866911744545_1307788281_n.jpg?oh=3fa1f5e56368100bc29f5d9466f85fa3&oe=57A6E14B
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 12:27, archived)

poor ninj :(

( $$ ✅, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:41, archived)

:(
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:44, archived)

BIG BUTTS AND I CAN NOT LIE

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:46, archived)

^ sprung

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:49, archived)

Oh god this has got me crying with laughter
dunno how to share the skype responses on here though
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 12:07, archived)

imgur.com/AFeIQVU
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 12:11, archived)

imgur.com/M8H5wjT
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 12:14, archived)

imgur.com/AJ36oMW
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 12:17, archived)

imgur.com/ziRxSnH
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 12:19, archived)

haha, nice combo-breaker

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 12:23, archived)

scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-12/13900394_1149855168412386_1879912951_n.jpg?oh=082aa43088ebc24ee86cec4e7219875e&oe=57A6BEC8
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 12:07, archived)

too many r's mate

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 12:20, archived)

scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-12/13936659_1149864815078088_1503459680_n.jpg?oh=154215afcd1d04310b1266c49aa73683&oe=57A6C136
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 12:25, archived)

imgur.com/ccQKUru
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 12:28, archived)

I have nothing to add
I just wanted to post something
( $$ ✅, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 12:54, archived)

but what if...
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:04, archived)

classic ryan

( $$ ✅, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:05, archived)

imgur.com/NOwBV8L
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 13:07, archived)

Enough about booze and other illicit substances
What do you do to unwind at the end of a busy week?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 9:56, archived)

Your great-aunt, just to mix things up a bit.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 9:58, archived)

She died last Christmas m8, 91 years old

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 10:01, archived)

that's why it's so relaxing
none of this *yakking mouth hand gesture*
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 10:05, archived)

What, like literally on Christmas day?

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:03, archived)

Every year when my Dad visits I get a handful of birthday and christmas cards from family
I remarked that I hadn't got a card from the old bird, and my Dad casually said "Oh yeah she carked it last Christmas, didn't I tell you? Pass us another one of those cakes".

So now you know just as much as I do about this state of affairs.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 11:22, archived)

Oh bollocks
Theres cricket.I forgot.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 5 Aug 2016, 9:58, archived)