Why are you so fucking shit?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 9 May 2014, 19:20, 2 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

it's a shame believe me, Missy
when you're born to be a sissy
without the vim and verve

Tell us why you're so fucking pathetic.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 8 May 2014, 20:02, Reply)

Near death experiences.
When I was about six, I ran out from behind a parked car onto a main road, and was so very nearly run over the car heading towards me at about 50mph ran over the back of my shoe as I leapt out of the way.

What near-death experiences have you had?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 8 May 2014, 16:07, Reply)

UKIP
Why are you voting UKIP?
( Zuowan, Thu 8 May 2014, 12:45, 1 reply, 10 years ago)

Greenhouses.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 May 2014, 10:12, Reply)

what's the best thing you've ever seen on usvsth3m

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 May 2014, 20:41, Reply)

anus?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 7 May 2014, 7:54, 1 reply, 10 years ago)

Racist grandchildren.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 6 May 2014, 19:20, Reply)

Dr Skagra has me wondering...
What mentally imbalanced people have you met?

People on this website don't count.
( Muns, Tue 6 May 2014, 13:55, Reply)

Scousers
Tell us of your encounters with the denizens of the fine city of Liverpool.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Mon 5 May 2014, 19:44, Reply)

Atlantis
Have you ever been to Atlantis? Have you ever met a moomin? Have you ever crashed the Hindenburg into the Loch Ness Monster? Come on somebody, this is supposed to be fun, just make something up if you need to, don't leave, please don't leave.
( Zuowan, Sun 4 May 2014, 17:14, Reply)

why?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 2 May 2014, 14:43, Reply)

Just how much bush have you subjugated?
Let's get a league table going.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 May 2014, 9:21, Reply)

Stolen from askreddit
What is it about your profession or hobby that film or TV makers never fail to misrepresent? Flight attendents that always shag the pilots? Lawyers that spend all week in exciting court cases? Bar staff in London who use the term "YER BARRED!" at least once every 1/2 hour?
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 1 May 2014, 14:51, Reply)

Question of the Week questions.
What is the best Question of the Week question you've seen on here? And why? And what would be your answer to it?
(Andrew Avetoom, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 17:42, Reply)

Solicitors
Most of us have dealt with them, whether it's through buying a house, claiming for compensation for being a fuckwit an accident that was caused by something other than your own stupidity, or being defended in animal molestation dog fingering trials. Or Divorce.

Tell us about these blood sucking bastards and how they ruined your life.
( Muns, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 15:33, Reply)

Who is your favourite QOTW poster and why?

(Council Gritter, Sat 26 Apr 2014, 13:24, 4 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Extraterrestrial Life
This obviously exists, and I am proof. But what about you humans, puny or otherwise? Do you believe it exists? Have you ever had a close encounter of any kind? (Cue boring jokes about alien sex. Fiends!) Do you know any funny 'abductee' stories which involves things other than fingers being shoved up non-canine bums? Have you been to a place called Area 51 that *isn't* a comic shop? Are you, like me, an alien?!

Do tell. Do tell. Do tell. Do.
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Sat 26 Apr 2014, 13:24, Reply)

Ever been to World Of Poon?
What was it like? Could you afford their prices? After you'd finished the guided tour did you buy some kind of garish souvenir for the kids, like one of those fluffy bugs with googly eyes and a ribbon, or maybe a novelty pencil sharpener? Or maybe you had a cup of tea in the visitor centre before you left? Tell us all.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 23 Apr 2014, 17:44, 5 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Have you seen all of the Godfather movies?
Yeah right, bollocks you have.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 23 Apr 2014, 16:20, Reply)

Lime & honey chilli chicken.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 20:04, Reply)

What the biggest arse you've ever stuck your thing up?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 11:08, 2 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

How are you?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 20 Apr 2014, 13:59, Reply)

Cheese stories

(Tim Stilton 🧀, Sun 20 Apr 2014, 10:51, Reply)

When was the last time you nonced a kid?
Tell us your story you fucking nonce
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 18 Apr 2014, 1:51, 1 reply, 10 years ago)

Rip-off!
I was chatting to a workmate, who said he'd enlisted someone for removals during a house-move, for £40. We asked if the he paid up-front and ever saw his stuff again for such a low price.
Boringly, he didn't and he did.

So, have you ever been paid for something and not completed the task?
Either from laziness, greed or plain malice?
( FartFace is looking for the toilet, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 18:49, Reply)

While browsing b3ta I encounter
numerous posts about "Rob Fairholme". Tell us who your obsessed with, and why.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Wed 16 Apr 2014, 21:44, 1 reply, 10 years ago)

While browsing b3ta, I often come across people accused of being Rob Fairholme, who deny being Rob Fairholme.
I call them Rob Fairholme.

Tell us about a time when you or someone else has accused / been accused of being Rob Fairholme.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Wed 16 Apr 2014, 15:33, 5 replies, latest was 10 years ago)