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Shitting on your chips right here.
Pissing in your beer too - oh no, wait, the beer you drink is already piss and comes in a can.

When are you going to stop being a filthy burden on society, you bloody scum dwellers?
(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:26, archived)
hi dave trouser

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:32, archived)
Morning.

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:33, archived)
this place has gone to shit since mongy done an awesome morning thread

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:33, archived)
I see what you did there.

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:37, archived)
Typical food based thread from Dave elasticated trouser

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:38, archived)
A cunning ruse to make sure you read it.
Fatty.
(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:41, archived)
i read the first line, gave up after that to be honest

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:45, archived)
Liar.

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:47, archived)
i only read the subject line, anything else belongs on qftw

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:56, archived)

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███ ███

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:02, archived)
rhis? i don't get it

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:08, archived)

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(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:11, archived)
None of these work on my phone

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:21, archived)
Good.
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╚═╝ ╚═╝ ╚═════╝ ╚══╝╚══╝ ╚═════╝ ╚═╝ ╚═╝╚═════╝ ╚═╝ ╚═════╝ ╚═════╝ ╚═╝ ╚═╝╚═╝ ╚═╝╚══════╝ ╚═╝ ╚═╝ ╚═╝ ╚═╝ ╚═╝╚══════╝╚═╝ ╚═╝╚═╝╚═╝ ╚═══╝ ╚═════╝ ╚═╝

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:23, archived)
oh man that's bound to hurt him

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:24, archived)
I know right?

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:30, archived)
they look shit on a computer screen and all

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:24, archived)
Art is rather subjective.
Lesser minds rarely appreciate the fine nuance.
(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:35, archived)
alright Dave Trouser
that minimum-wage job you just took to get off Jobseekers Allowance has really gone to your head, hasn't it.
(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:39, archived)
A terrible slur.
I have never been, and will never be, on Jobseekers' Allowance.
(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:41, archived)
is that because of all the crippling disabilities you so clearly qualify for?

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:42, archived)
I take no money from the state.
Hmm, getting out of Poland has not helped you much has it? Any progress on getting that better car?
(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:48, archived)
Depends how you define "better"
I'm looking at Jags but that's more to keep the other half happy.
(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:49, archived)
Oh dear.
https://youtu.be/7eWIrBOc3zE?t=12s
(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:55, archived)
too bloody right
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AqS8ks9op8#t=4s
(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:15, archived)
Hah, love the ending of that.

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:21, archived)
because it appeals to your penny-pinching gyppo nature, no doubt

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:28, archived)
RACISSSSSSSSS!!!!!111!!!

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:29, archived)
alright daveypants

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:00, archived)
Ok.
Today started a bit shit as some cunt tried to talk shit about the aircraft in Top Gun being F16s and not F14s.

It's ok though, I removed a few of their teeth and it got better.
(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:04, archived)
haha, you're adorable

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:15, archived)
It was 50% true.

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:20, archived)
Stick it up your Bum horse, grant shapps.

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:02, archived)
I don't know who you are bluename.

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:05, archived)
To be fair, I don't think it's important.

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:20, archived)
There's hope for you yet.

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:21, archived)
Hope?
Lange or Davis?
(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:37, archived)
I think this thread has run its course.
Someone start a new one before I do.
(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 10:40, archived)
morning

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 7:36, archived)
wotcha mongy

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 7:39, archived)
alright , just been chucking the spomb out

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 7:49, archived)
talk me through it

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 7:58, archived)
I fill my spomb with nyommy hemp and chuck it over my rigs

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:22, archived)
why a spomb, not a spod?

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:33, archived)
Spods have holes in so small stuff like hemp falls out

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:34, archived)
There's a bloke on youtube who did comparisons of spods and spombs
Now I'm wondering what a boilie tastes like.
(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:43, archived)
some of them smell nice, i like the pineapple pop ups, never eaten any tho, i'm sure they are safe

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:50, archived)
I like the idea of carp liking pineapple
Like all the fish gathered around on a Friday night ordering pizza, and Mr Carp says "Get me a Hawaiian please".
(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:58, archived)
a rare mongy morning missive
what a treat
(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:04, archived)
mongy threads are one of the best types of thread around
they're as cherished as they are rare.
(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:06, archived)
Spoiling you all today

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:18, archived)
have we been good, then?

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:05, archived)
Alright Mongy.

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:10, archived)
aight

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:18, archived)
MORNING

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:25, archived)
Big g in da house

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:26, archived)
fo sho

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:45, archived)
hiya

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:27, archived)
Hi nazi train

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:34, archived)
morning

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:33, archived)
morning sweet cheeks

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:35, archived)
Hey hey, we're the mongies,
and people say we mongy around!
(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:38, archived)
they say that to me and i'll open them cunts up like a church fete

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:48, archived)
It doesn't get better than this

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:38, archived)
meaty

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:45, archived)
horbo

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:58, archived)
and it never will, hi

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:49, archived)
hi!

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 8:58, archived)
We might as well all kill ourselves now then.

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:03, archived)
cool

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:04, archived)
You can if you like. I am going to continue posting so I can complain that it's gone to shit since mongy done an awesome morning thread.

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:12, archived)
^ Meatsnake did a face

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:17, archived)
Good evening everyone.
Fuck all on telly again.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 21:51, archived)
britain's got fuck all
fuck all on ice
the fuck all factor
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 21:53, archived)
Strictly Fuck-all
Come Fuck-all With Me.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 22:05, archived)
fuck all under the hammer

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 22:20, archived)
soz I don't really watch TV any more so my knowledge of programme names runs out in 2003 or so

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 22:20, archived)
they should bring back the golden shot

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 21:54, archived)
3-2-1 wasn't that bad.
Watched some of it a few weeks back.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 22:06, archived)
I'm also inordinately pleased to see TFI Friday back on.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 22:07, archived)
really...
I recall a power drill
also they presented a hair pie which they sliced into and still has the capacity to make me feel a bit ill recalling it
only later did I realise they were being euphemistic, o innocent vladimir of the 1990s
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 22:12, archived)
Sure you didn't dream this after a kebab?

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 22:23, archived)
I have been inspired to see if anybody else in the whole of the internet remembers this
bpstainton.wordpress.com/2015/02/02/hairy-journey/
so that's me, and somebody who calls their blog hello, fig
:(
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 22:29, archived)
*backs slowly away*

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 22:41, archived)
*quietly pushes an enormous bowl of trifle into your path*
*you fall backwards into the trifle*
\o/
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 22:51, archived)
Alright confectionery fetishist.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 23:10, archived)
And on that note - night!
Just don't start wanking off into a blancmange or anything.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 23:55, archived)
hi vlad, I realise I am late to this discussion, but hopefully you'll see this
I too remember cooking with hair being a 'thing' on popular 90s television chat and music show tfi friday.
in particular I remember mr evans cooking a hair carbonara.
I hope this helps.
(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 9:22, archived)
alright

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 17:59, archived)
yeah

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 18:04, archived)
Pretty stupid question. If you'd bothered to read down the board you'd see that some of us are dead and the rest have terrible diarrhoea.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 18:07, archived)
Do you see a question mark? Because I don't see a question mark
So it's not a fucking question is it, you shitsoaked dimwit.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 19:13, archived)
alright

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 18:08, archived)
mr.h

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 19:04, archived)
alright mr h

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 19:12, archived)
cool spuds

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 19:22, archived)
n

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 19:24, archived)
alright mr horrible!

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 21:32, archived)
owait everyone's gone this was hours ago wasn't it
*shuffles sadly away with droopy shoulders*
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 21:37, archived)
I'm still here.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 21:38, archived)
whoah whoah not so FAST, despondent mood!
Colonel Boris is here \o/
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 21:40, archived)
Im always here , watching and judging

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 21:46, archived)
and furiously wanking
Evening, mongy.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 21:49, archived)
alright

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 21:51, archived)
No real photo pls

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 22:00, archived)
sorry mongy :(

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 22:04, archived)
Hey hey! It's the sunniest chap around!

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 21:51, archived)
where

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 21:53, archived)
Alright. It's alright
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BwQBjJvN5Y
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 21:37, archived)
if this isn't the pet shop boys I'm not clicking

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 21:41, archived)
Darkplace - One Track Lover

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 21:45, archived)
it's OK I clicked anyway
I always click
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 21:52, archived)
don't click this
it's a picture of john major
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 22:10, archived)
manolith! :D
now, can you guess what I did
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 22:14, archived)
OK there's no need to guess
all you need to do is definitely not click this
i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/01/12/article-2261435-006CBD5000000258-258_634x467.jpg
or this
ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/640x360/p01h0qz9.jpg
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 22:18, archived)
who was it that said looking at him was like you'd just been looking at a moustache-shaped lightbulb and then immediately looked at his face

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 22:19, archived)
disappointingly low on east 17 :(

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 21:41, archived)
anyone got any problems they need helping with?

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 15:43, archived)
Yeah, I need to stop watching the cricket and get some work done.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 15:52, archived)
watch the cricket

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 15:56, archived)
I seem to be having a little trouble unifying quantum mechanics with the general theory of relativity.
I'd be very grateful if you could sort that out for me. I'll buy you a pint, in fact.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 15:55, archived)
it's okay it will never be done anyway
have a poo instead
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 15:57, archived)
Just did one, but thanks for your suggestion anyway.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 16:06, archived)
The date on my watch is wrong

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 17:40, archived)
I'll buy you a new one

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 17:45, archived)
Thanks, I can't be bothered changing it, probably just bin in

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 17:52, archived)
it's beyond repair not worth much now

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 17:56, archived)
Buy cheap, buy twice : (

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 17:59, archived)
Ripping all my CDs has forced me to confront the fact that I once thought it wise to spend my limited income on the works of
2Unlimited, Ace of Base, and Culture Beat. I shudder to think what horrors may be lurking further down the alphabet. Reel2Real are in there.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 17:48, archived)
SHABBA

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 17:51, archived)
Sadly not.
Got some Chaka Demus & Pliers, though.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 17:55, archived)
china black, all their greatest hit?

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 17:56, archived)
No, they were shit.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 18:02, archived)
bin the lot and start again

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 17:56, archived)
I remember trying to sell all my CD singles to Cash Converters, and they wouldn't take them.
Some aspiring DJ took the lot for £17. I hope Zig & Zag were the dancefloor smash he was hoping for.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 18:04, archived)
I'm making myself a happy summer mix CD for holiday. It's got all the greats - OMC, Dodgy, The Cardigans and Bran Van 3000 to name a few.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 18:06, archived)
I keep meaning to put a playlist together,
but I just end up downloading other people's off Deezer. Maybe I'll sort something once all the CD are copied, or maybe I'll just be too ashamed of my awful CD collection.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 18:10, archived)
Bit of Wiley -heatwave

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 18:18, archived)
So Two Hats is dead,
QOTW is dead
the newsletter is dead

What else is dead?
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 13:31, archived)
Sadly not /board

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 13:32, archived)
Everyone, Dave.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 13:32, archived)
what, everybody?

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 13:37, archived)
Yes, Dave. Everyone.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 13:40, archived)
Who is?

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 13:49, archived)
chen's not dead, is he?

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 15:21, archived)
Yes Dave, Chen is dead. Along with everyone else.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 15:38, archived)
God
And Nietzsche
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 13:35, archived)
I'm quite envious of Nietszche
I enjoyed his philosophy, admire his reputation and am jealous of his love triangle with Wagner's wife.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 13:38, archived)
I'm just envious of his magnificent moustache

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 13:44, archived)
Übermensch, Übermensch
Does whatever an Über cansch
Kills a god, any size,
Replaces all the Christian lies
Look Out!
Here comes the Übermensch
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 14:52, archived)
all of those things have been rumoured to have been dead before
I'm not sure how much more disappointment I can take
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 13:36, archived)
The revolution.
Punk.
Hope.
The atmosphere on this place.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 14:03, archived)
there's plenty of atmosphere here
mostly comprised of ozone and stale farts.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 14:09, archived)
I love a party with a happy atmosphere

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 14:12, archived)

a happy atmosphere pineapple chunks on sticks
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 14:16, archived)
especially with chunks of cheese as well

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 14:18, archived)
The only reason I wanted a Pygmy hedgehog was to wow my guests by serving cheese and pineapple on it

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 14:24, archived)
that would have been brill

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 14:31, archived)
Sounds pretty unhygeinic

(, Wed 10 Jun 2015, 14:10, archived)
3 or 4 non-hallucinogenic cacti, my aloes, all my orchids, all of last year's outside flowering plants except for some of the wild plants i acquired seeds for. Cough cough.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 14:09, archived)
you're a shit gardener

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 14:10, archived)
constantly shit

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 14:22, archived)
Nobody, I haven't killed anyone. Why, what had you heard?

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 14:44, archived)
Oh and Zed's dead baby.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 14:54, archived)

Zed Fritz
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 14:56, archived)
That really shouldn't have made me laugh, but it did.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 15:39, archived)
My coffee tastes especially good, today.
Must be the contrast with the dull database work I'm doing.
Office life is well exciting!
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:01, archived)
The quality of coffee has significantly declined since I started working from home
as has the number of pencil-skirted bints I get to ogle.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:06, archived)
On the plus side, you can frig yourself raw to ladyboy porn as often as you like.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:16, archived)
I'm not sure I do much frigging to anything, really.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:48, archived)
loser

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 12:09, archived)
i've never had the opportunity to work in an office, do you all really gossip around the water coolers?

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:08, archived)
Well, you normally do your gossiping in the kitchen so that you don't disturb other people
and there's usually a water cooler in the kitchen, but you may also gossip around the microwave or coffee machine if that's where you feel more comfortable. There's no pressure, you do what you like. My office even has an array of breakfast cereals around which one may gossip.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:10, archived)
i'll gossip around the sugar puffs then , so what's the gos?

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:16, archived)
gary from Hr chucked his muck up Sandra from accounts

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:17, archived)
ooohhh Susan is gonna be pissed, she has a thing for gary
on an aside, when i started work these people were just wages or payroll, the they became the personnel department, now human resources, what ever next
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:20, archived)
what a load of shit
no man has ever been employed in HR
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:56, archived)
There was in my last job, but he was massively ineffectual and a squealing bender so doesn't count

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 12:08, archived)
what a load of shit

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 12:14, archived)
Kamila's got a sick note for the rest of the week because she has a cold, but she's still here
which is pissing off Justyna, who is pregnant but shush don't tell anyone it's a secret, so obvs Justyna's got the hump with Kamila but can't say anything.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:24, archived)
a lot of petty people work in offices

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:14, archived)
i'm aware of that, i mean i've worked in offices but not 'worked in an office'

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:18, archived)
I sit in a office getting paid for doing fuck all
Trufax
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 12:00, archived)
drop the database and ask IT if they have a backup
this is good to see if they actually have a backup plan
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:15, archived)
Time was, we could restore from the backups ourselves.
Our IT dept seem to be getting more and more paranoid, although it's probably just to ensure that they are seen as an essential service, rather than a luxury that we could do without.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:33, archived)
thing is, it might be dull but at least they give you a machine to waste time on

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:24, archived)
I'm using my phone to access this site.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:36, archived)
I didn't know beeter had a phone number

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:41, archived)
0845-PISSCHIMP probably

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:45, archived)
no wonder it's not freely available. disgusting.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:50, archived)
pact?

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:38, archived)
bit harsh

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:39, archived)
No.
Might be Taylor's. Guatemalan, I think. It's ever so nice, and I don't have to be a nonce to enjoy it.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:41, archived)
but it helps?

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:45, archived)
As always.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:55, archived)
did two hats actually die?

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 11:55, archived)
manolith failed in his duty of care,
and let him slip away.
You can tell he doesn't care by the lack of commemorative icons.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 12:00, archived)
i was never his designated carer, i just posed as one to rob his house

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 12:02, archived)

rob attend
house barbecue
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 12:13, archived)
looks like i'll get the last laugh if he's cremated though
i'll bring a sausage on a skewer
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 12:14, archived)
i hope not
he said he was ill but he says that a lot. i'll try and find out.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 12:00, archived)
HE LIVES!
i just got a text
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 12:21, archived)
that proves nothing

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 12:29, archived)
what watch is that?

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 12:15, archived)
Hard to tell, ap or pp would be my guess

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 12:31, archived)
his body may wither
but he lives on in my heart
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 12:12, archived)
good riddance

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 12:15, archived)
That's eulogy sorted

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 12:33, archived)
I find vulgar displays of wealth fascinating
What's the most expensive thing that you want to buy right now? I'm thinking of getting a Jag.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:21, archived)
A seaside flat that I won't rent out. Just for weekends and that.
Doesn't feel right somehow.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:27, archived)
People like you have killed Deal and Walmer
Half the town is empty due to London wankers overpaying for twee little terraces to stand empty for most of the year, while young families have to move to shitholes like Dover.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:41, archived)
My twee little terrace in Kent has stood empty for most of the year

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:56, archived)
good Kent or shit Kent?

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:00, archived)
Shit Kent.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:01, archived)
Shitstable?
Cunterbury?
Fuckstone?
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:03, archived)
Fuckstone, it's where I grew up and learnt how to fight.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:04, archived)
Dunno Folkestone that well
used to go banger racing in Coombe Valley though
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:20, archived)
All luxury compared to the medway towns

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:04, archived)
I was trying to thing of a joke around Gillingham
but couldn't think of one, besides their football team
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:06, archived)
Come to think of it, I've always wanted to live in a converted oast house.
2 oasts and a large barn, done up into a modern living space (lots of natural light, you know the sort of thing). Shame it'd have to be in Kent, really.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:03, archived)
This was what my old man built a few years back
www.thanetgazette.co.uk/Barn-conversion-St-Nicholas-Wade/story-19729619-detail/story.html

I've hated olde worlde conversions ever since.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:04, archived)

olde worlde conversions Thanet
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:36, archived)
I hated Thanet a long time before that

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:37, archived)
Good lad.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:45, archived)
clark kent

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:08, archived)
no real names Pls

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:17, archived)
speccy twat

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:20, archived)
a new telly since i don't think mongy is going to get me one

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:29, archived)
tight cunt never sent me a Double Decker either

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:43, archived)
what do you want with a bus?

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:52, archived)
a bus made of chewy nougat and crispy bits
I do really miss British junk food at times.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:57, archived)
a pair of shorts and some sunglasses

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:30, archived)
are they bright day-glo shorts circa Rude Dog and the Dweebs?

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:43, archived)
might go for a pint later

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:33, archived)
better be a pint that costs over 3 quid

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:44, archived)
alright I'm not made of money you know

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:57, archived)
I've seen some pints that cost nearly 4 quid
Imagine that
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:58, archived)
it's a different world that all these russian oligarchs and mongy inhabit

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:08, archived)
mongigarch

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:09, archived)
a woman's heart

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:33, archived)
hahahaha
he f
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:34, archived)
lol

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:36, archived)
+Total Prolapse of

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:44, archived)
I want to buy a Caterham, then use it for my daily commute.
I'd also like one of those massive Recreational Vehicles, for holiday purposes.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:34, archived)
Would you build the Caterham yourself for extra smug points?

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:44, archived)
I'd like to think that I would.
My garden has space for an extra garage.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:48, archived)
Always see a few near me as there yard is near by

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:51, archived)
There do seem to be a lot more on the road, lately.
Either that, or the approach of middle age has heightened my awareness.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:54, archived)
Well I had my eye on a new watch, but manolith ruined that, and to think I was going to buy him a telly

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:42, archived)
What watch were you eyeing up?

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:45, archived)
Yachtmaster 2 in stainless

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:48, archived)
what do you need the countdown function for?

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:51, archived)
It's just a neat complication, watches are all about the complications

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:55, archived)
Do you actually own a yacht,
or do you just dress up in slacks, blazer and captain's hat, to impress at the pub?
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:53, archived)
Yeah I own a yacht, so I scuba in Bermuda when the weather gets hot, and I travel a lot

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:56, archived)
Bet there's good fishing, on the open seas.
Ever catch a shark?
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:01, archived)
Those were lyrics mm, but Nah I don't sea fish, don't enjoy it

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:03, archived)
How is it different from lake fishing?
Is it the lack of bivvy that puts you off?
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:16, archived)
I think it lacks the finesse and skill

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:20, archived)
FINesse and sk-gill

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:34, archived)
My bad.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:45, archived)
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:53, archived)
+rby

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:56, archived)

by suit
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:22, archived)
I'm seriously considering a new calculator

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 9:58, archived)
A new addition? Oh hahahaha

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:01, archived)
pffft

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:05, archived)
A first edition
of Newton's Principia Mathematica, which I would then liberally embellish with cocks and boobies using a 20p disposable biro.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 10:59, archived)
BUMHOLES

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 8:17, archived)
HORBHOLES

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 8:18, archived)
PIGHOLES

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 8:21, archived)
My delkim just went off and I spilt my coffee jumping up to look at the fucking coot trying to piss off with my boillie, what a day

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 8:23, archived)
is this some sort of slang you gay sex tourists use?

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 8:24, archived)
Bit convoluted for gay slang

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 8:25, archived)
Yeah, I suppose you'd be an expert on that

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 8:49, archived)
Oh hahaha

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 8:52, archived)
morning
wanna play a game with Texas Peter?
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 8:23, archived)
I don't reckon he's from Texas.
Shall we use our 1337 HaXxORr skills to find out who he really is?
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 8:24, archived)
Yes okay I'm typing fast and looking at green text on an old monitor while uploading a doomsday virus as we speak i will have the answer soon

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 8:26, archived)
I think it is creepy user 2D who used to shop disturbing images using my daughter, top bloke

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 8:37, archived)
Well that's a fucking weird thing to do.

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 8:43, archived)
I probably upset him in the past, I take full responsibility for his creepy actions

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 8:47, archived)
Yes, posting pictures of peoples children in retaliation for some words on a screen is a fair, normal and proportionate response

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 8:49, archived)
It's what the UN recommend in such circumstances before sending in troops

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 8:55, archived)
now there's an idea I can get behind!

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 8:24, archived)
hiya

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 8:26, archived)
oh hi mr h

(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 8:59, archived)
KNOBSACK.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 19:28, archived)
b&

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 19:31, archived)
although, great use of creative swearing

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 19:34, archived)
Are you some sort of autistic burglar who only steals orb-shaped door handles
which you keep in your specifically-labelled swag bag? Sounds like it.


Hahahaha autism.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 19:49, archived)
Front page this

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 19:51, archived)
Why are you collecting swearwords?
I say collecting, you have a grand total of one so far.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 19:53, archived)
You're doing it wrong. It's supposed to be your balls that go in the sack.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 20:31, archived)
Please can you /talk trolls stop ruining /board for the artists like me who enjoy this site. Thanks.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 20:49, archived)
Umbongo

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 21:03, archived)
is a little old place where, we can get to-ge-ther

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 21:03, archived)
5 shits now, i reckon there might be one more in me.
they're all very well formed, too. bang in the middle of the bsc.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 21:06, archived)
turps huffer

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 21:26, archived)
Disco minge

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 22:49, archived)
WE HAVE A WINNER!!

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 23:03, archived)
Yours to rent or buy for only 12 easy instalments.
Looks like I missed an interesting day round here.
(, Tue 9 Jun 2015, 0:13, archived)
afternoon

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 14:16, archived)
orlrite SSG
I OPE U R KR WITE WEL
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 14:29, archived)
that's from literature, that is

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 14:33, archived)
He's a rude cunt these days, think I've said alright to him a million times recently, nothing, wanker

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 17:17, archived)
alright

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 17:18, archived)
Oh here we go , more withering

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 17:23, archived)
ok

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 17:36, archived)
A girls just walked in my local with a new tattoo covered in cling film, on her chest above her tit, it's only a fucking mudkip, lol

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 17:56, archived)
Isn't that a kind of fish? Maybe you should introduce yourself.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 18:14, archived)
So I herd u liek mudkips

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 18:48, archived)
isn't she a few years late for that meme?

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 18:46, archived)
Yeah

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 18:47, archived)
Mind you it's a tattoo, she's got it forever now, silly bitch

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 18:52, archived)
yes. yes it is.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 14:37, archived)
i had a jalfrezi yesterday and so far today i've had 4 curry shits.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 15:05, archived)
Jalfrezi recipes originally appeared in cookbooks of the British Raj as a way of using up leftovers (a practice taboo to Hindus) by frying them in chilli and onion.
So yeah.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 15:16, archived)
well I bet he feels pretty foolish for ordering that now eh

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 15:31, archived)
Good to see the heritage of the Raj being preserved and celebrated.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 15:50, archived)
I can't wait until my home-grown Jalapenos are ready. I'm gonna have the worst burning diarrhoea ever!

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 16:05, archived)
>Implying Jalapeños are even vaguely hot...

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 16:55, archived)
They are enjoyably piquant and, if consumed in sufficient quantities, will give you the burning shits.
Purposely loading food with ever hotter chillies, until you can no longer taste anything else, is pointless, and generally the pastime of lagered up cunts.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 17:08, archived)
I never suggested doing that.
They just aren't hot enough to give the shits in any normal use unless you eat a moronic amount of them with nothing else.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 17:13, archived)
you did however suggest that jalapenos aren't even vaguely hot which they are

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 17:14, archived)
this is the most important thread on b3ta today i hope everyone gets involved with their opinions

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 17:14, archived)
I think everyone did too.
Everyone being a mod and a few others... dying on its ar[SHOTGUN BLAST]
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 19:18, archived)
Thanks for sticking up for me and for jalapenos SSG. I might even add you as a friend for this.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 17:27, archived)
Everyone says you're a shit doctor and a terrible person,
but even you are more popular than DT. And he's the most popular person on /talk!
If this isn't a harbinger of the apocalypse, I don't know what is
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 17:55, archived)
Please provide a list of everyone who has said that so I can forward it to the mods.
Cheers.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 18:05, archived)
you're a shit doctor and a terrible person
thought that might save you some time
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 18:45, archived)
Well yes that might have been helpful, unless of course I was planning on reporting it to HappyToast or one of the other mods who aren't completely incompetent.
mpet ntin
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 18:58, archived)
haha, you're such a teacher's pet
i bet you were popular in school
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 19:07, archived)
And I bet you mucked around in lessons and that's why you're such a terrible mod and constant source of disappointment to everyone.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 19:16, archived)
Much like unicorns, leprechauns and virgins,
competent b3ta mods are a myth.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 19:10, archived)
I have around 10 jalapeno plants on the go. The entire crop will no doubt amount to a moronic amount.
I also have about 8 birds eye plants which are easily hot enough to ruin my bowels.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 17:25, archived)
I've forgotten what I planted this year, but I think it includes:
Tabasco, cherry-bomb, jalapeño and cayenne.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 19:20, archived)
I stick them up my bum to get maximum heat

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 18:15, archived)
I'm on my own for a week because the woman has gone away.
What shall I spend my spare time doing while I have the flat to myself?
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 12:01, archived)
Frigging yourself raw while dressed in her clothes.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 12:14, archived)
I don't have anything to stuff the bra with

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 13:59, archived)
Oh come on, I bet you're at least a C-cup.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 14:02, archived)
play scalextric in your pants

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 12:14, archived)
I don't think there's enough space in my pants

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 12:16, archived)
pffft
you could sup from the milky teats of your neighbour's cat, that's a good five minutes of fun
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 12:16, archived)
crywanking, i assume

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 12:16, archived)
I can do that any day

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 12:19, archived)
yeah but you don't have to go and hide anywhere

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 12:22, archived)
I never have to hide
I'm the man of the house, and if I want to sit on the stairs and lubricate my cock with my own tears while contemplating the pointlessness of existence, then I shall do so whenever the fancy takes me.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 12:38, archived)
setup a hornby train set to wend its way through your flat
you could even ad an r186 signal box for added excitement
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 12:20, archived)
for additional excitement he could place the track so the train drives right up his distended bumhole

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 12:35, archived)
yeah and affix a twelve inch black ribbed knobbler to the front

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 13:10, archived)
All my Hornby trains are packed away in a shipping container in East Kent
I'll have to make do with Lego trains instead.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 12:39, archived)
thanks for your excellent suggestion sock
no probs mr machine

cameron's britain
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 13:12, archived)
I'm not in Britain though

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 13:18, archived)
show off

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 13:20, archived)
Don't know, don't care

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 12:21, archived)
throw me a bone here mongy

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 13:52, archived)
build a replacement

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 12:22, archived)
My name is not Station

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 13:51, archived)
but you do have an excellently huge martian butt, right?

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 13:59, archived)
probably the same as you do when she is there

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 12:29, archived)
yeah, but I've nearly finished Age of Empires II now

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 13:52, archived)
Have you considered you're never alone when you have Jesus in your heart?

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 12:40, archived)
I hadn't considered that, no
for a good reason
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 13:51, archived)
Finding a new woman that you respect enough to not refer to her as 'the woman'

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 12:50, archived)
A guy at my work gets upset if someone says "the mrs"

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 12:53, archived)
So Robin Johnson is a colleague of yours, then?

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 14:03, archived)
I used the definite article
that's respectful.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 13:12, archived)
Sit around in your pants watching repeats of Top Gear on whatever the Polish equivalent of Dave is

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 12:55, archived)
Probably Dawe

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 13:08, archived)
I torrented them instead so that I can watch them whenever I want

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 13:12, archived)
It's not the same without the adverts for PPI claims / workplace accident claims every 10 mins

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 13:59, archived)
life is short, have an affair.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 13:00, archived)

aff ecl
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 13:13, archived)
I can't help you there grrr
I ordered one of those dodgy tuning chips from a guy in Wroclaw, on a scale of 1-10 how badly will it fuck up my engine?
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 14:04, archived)
Depends what your engine is and what you expect it to do

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 14:08, archived)
old TDI, it's supposed to dump more fuel in or something = more power
the car only needs to last until November when the MOT expires
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 14:13, archived)
If it's a VAG, especially the 1.9, then they can be quite responsive to a mild tune
although only if the engine's in decent running order. If you've got a coked-up EGR valve, for example, all you're doing is sooting things up even further, draining your tank for no advantage at all.

Make sure you fit new air and fuel filters when you swap the chip.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 14:15, archived)
Cheers, will do.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 14:20, archived)
hurr hurr
vag
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 14:21, archived)
How do know if your EGR valve is coked up?
Does it annoy the hell out of all the other valves by talking nonsense at the incessantly?
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 14:49, archived)
monday, monday, so good to me...
morning, all.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 7:37, archived)
mmm

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 7:41, archived)
bop

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 8:10, archived)
did you know those lot started brewing their own beer?
www.mmmhops.com
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 8:26, archived)
I didn't before, I do now,

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 8:33, archived)
That's a spoof, right?

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 8:45, archived)

stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/2473061/mmmbop-o.gif
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 8:48, archived)
That's a spoof, right?

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 8:56, archived)
nope!

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 8:57, archived)
My brain can't really accept that any of them are old enough to drink.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 9:01, archived)
the youngest one is 29

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 9:06, archived)
Ugh. I'll probably be dead, soon.
In other beer-related news, I inadvertently consumed the sediment from a bottle-conditioned ale, last night.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 9:08, archived)
the b vitamins it contains will perhaps go some way towards repairing some of the damage you have done to yourself with drink

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 9:10, archived)
I'll kid myself I've cut out the middleman in my Marmite consumption.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 9:19, archived)
Shame they didn't become mmmcops.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 10:28, archived)
I totally told you about that on the anniversary of mmmbop.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 11:11, archived)
yeah, probably
is that important to you?
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 11:19, archived)
Nobody clicks your links tho

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 11:43, archived)
I don't care if monday's black

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 7:56, archived)

monday the weatherman
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 8:02, archived)
please list all the things that you do care about being black

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 10:06, archived)
you're like a reverse garfield

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 8:24, archived)
You should see me when I blow the cheese back onto lasagne.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 8:41, archived)
phwoar

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 8:59, archived)
MONDAY!

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 8:30, archived)
up yer bum

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 8:37, archived)
michelle phillips is on my list of hot birds off of the 60s that I'd definitely have a go on if I had a time machine

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 8:44, archived)
alright hankster

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 8:45, archived)
has he got a time machine?

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 8:50, archived)
She's still alive, y'know.
Maybe you could get in touch with her through Facebook, or something?
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 8:47, archived)
the terms of my parole prevent me from contacting her through any form of social media or getting within 500m of her

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 8:50, archived)
Probably for the best.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 8:56, archived)
You don't need a time machine for Jenny Agutter

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 9:03, archived)
Lol
imgur.com/Nlkuqk9
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 9:18, archived)
We should all take a moment to check our privilege.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 9:22, archived)
i checked mine in at the cloakroom

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 9:36, archived)
I don't even have a cloak, could you not post about them anymore

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 9:44, archived)
soz, forgot the trigger warning

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 10:05, archived)
I'll be honest mano I have no idea what this trigger thing is

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 10:06, archived)
Check your not-a-duck privilege, yo.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 10:08, archived)
You kids speak gibberish

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 10:14, archived)
When Del Boy falls through the bar,
he makes a face.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 10:56, archived)
funniest. thing. ever.

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 11:29, archived)
As a duck, the sight of a fried egg is a trigger for me
please stop posting.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 9:51, archived)
I think Only Fools And Horses should have a Trigger warning at the start.
I'm going to start an internet campaign about it. Get a change.org petition going and everything.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 10:06, archived)
what is this I don't even

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 10:29, archived)
some duck-embarrassing tips for everybody

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 10:35, archived)
that is nonsense and rubbish
just like you!
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 10:48, archived)
Oof, sick burn, dude.
Mano's gonna be nursing that one for months
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 10:52, archived)
:((((((((((((((((

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 11:20, archived)
What a lot of chins you have!

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 11:22, archived)
those are mouths *wink*

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 11:29, archived)
What a lot of mouths you have! *nudge*

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 11:48, archived)
HELL FUCKING...........
YEAH!
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 9:24, archived)
RTPYBO
quietly please, it's rather late.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 0:03, archived)
oh yeah, nice one brb
where would we be without you?
(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 0:29, archived)
FADGEBADGER

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 3:10, archived)
wee-wee tapir

(, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 7:17, archived)
eveninh

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 20:45, archived)
Oh hahaha yeah,

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 21:00, archived)
save it for the judge

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 21:19, archived)
not yet

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 21:25, archived)
hello

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 21:32, archived)
meh

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 21:47, archived)
tough crowd tonight

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 22:21, archived)
i'm sure there's something i'm supposed to do today
but i can't for the life of me think what it is. it's bin bugging me all day.
(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 23:15, archived)
well
you've still got 42 minutes...
(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 23:18, archived)
NOW we miss him

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 23:36, archived)
tip of my tongue/bad taste in my mouth
witty retort. new icons?
(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 23:53, archived)
sundays, eh? tsk

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 15:22, archived)

Just posting songs today, fuck it
(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 15:32, archived)
sundays are utter shit
which is why i'll be having a drink tonight and watching films
(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 15:36, archived)
you should have a shit drink and watch a shit film.
I suggest warm baccardi breezers and bad boys II. Maybe you could even eat some of those reduced fat doritos without any dip?
(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 15:44, archived)
i'm watching a shit film right now
'jupiter ascending'
(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 15:50, archived)
i shall have a few glasses of white zinfandel
and watch edgar wright's cornetto trilogy
(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 15:55, archived)
I don't eat pudding, soz

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 17:22, archived)
not even a knickerbocker glory?

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 17:56, archived)
Only from wimpy

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 17:59, archived)
Is thi a date?

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 18:20, archived)
That's probably an acronym , i

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 18:22, archived)
is your keyboard knackered?

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 18:47, archived)
probably covered in pudding

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 19:26, archived)
mongy loves his puddings

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 19:30, archived)
PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI
GIGA PUDDI
(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 19:31, archived)
Lols

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 20:58, archived)
Im sick, manolith
Like, proper sick
(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 19:07, archived)
again?
you say this every time. proper proper or just ''proper''?
(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 19:29, archived)
Where is the link where you can post suggestions for QOTW questions?
I was going to post -

Just couldn't give a shit.
Have you had any experience with new hires that just couldn't be bothered to do the job they hired to do? Or maybe you are one of those people. Tell us about it.
(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 1:51, archived)
send mongy a gaz, he knows about these things

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 2:56, archived)
beyond my remit

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 10:24, archived)
Email Trinity Mirror and ask what happened to the guy who used to run this site.

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 9:59, archived)
Look, here it is

www.b3ta.com/questions/questionsyoudliketoask/

No harm in being civil.
(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 14:27, archived)
That link is just /talk to me

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 14:30, archived)
but with women

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 14:36, archived)
No women post on qftw they just bitch like them

(, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 14:44, archived)
Few things say "British summer" more than cooking food on the barbecue
and eating it indoors.
(, Sat 6 Jun 2015, 18:51, archived)
saw someone trying to have a barbecue in the park today,
daft sods, it's chucking down and blowing a gale, just like the forecast said. There was no point during the day at which it looked like it might turn out especially nice. I wore my big coat and hat this morning.
(, Sat 6 Jun 2015, 19:05, archived)
Lovely weather down here.
Eaten far too much cake today to contemplate a barbeque.
(, Sat 6 Jun 2015, 19:34, archived)
it's nice here too, dunno what these idiots are babbling on about

(, Sat 6 Jun 2015, 20:20, archived)
I cooked my dinner indoors and ate it outside and it's still lovely out
Do I win a prize?
(, Sat 6 Jun 2015, 20:44, archived)
Yeah a tray of pork chops

(, Sat 6 Jun 2015, 20:57, archived)
I'll give it to my dad, he'd like that

(, Sat 6 Jun 2015, 21:04, archived)
Id often put a smile on my Nan's face by giving her my raffle meat on a Sunday

(, Sat 6 Jun 2015, 21:10, archived)
Oo-er!

(, Sat 6 Jun 2015, 22:38, archived)
Sometimes she'd bash away at it until it was sticky, then coat it in batter

(, Sat 6 Jun 2015, 22:58, archived)
juicer time then

(, Sat 6 Jun 2015, 14:52, archived)
10:00am here
I'll just have to sit outside and wait until they open.
(, Sat 6 Jun 2015, 15:06, archived)
mr.h

(, Sat 6 Jun 2015, 15:19, archived)
evening

(, Sat 6 Jun 2015, 18:06, archived)
Mr H.
Juicer will have to wait for this evening and then it's warp speed into cider space.
(, Sat 6 Jun 2015, 18:41, archived)

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