After a few too many...
Sprayah Hell is other people’s ringtones...,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 21:51,
archived)
Dirty, Dirty Harry...IN YOUR BED.
Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 21:54,
archived)
I can't help but read that as "Noomi Rapeface".
(
jonbob loves you,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 22:25,
archived)
b3ta conditioningif symptoms persist see your GP
(
Elvis impersonator,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 22:39,
archived)
this is heartbbreaking that Hogis is infertile and will never know the joys of parenthood*sads*
edit:I've just cheered up by making a popping sound as the eggs come out:)
www.b3ta.com/links/1210076
(edit:I've just cheered up by making a popping sound as the eggs come out:)
www.b3ta.com/links/1210076
Elvis impersonator,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 21:21,
archived)
yay !HOGIS ! hogis reminds me of the olden b3tas, before the resession.
when net savy people could fuck about on tinternets without the boss looking over your shoulder.
working 12 hours in a shitty minimum wage job killed it for me ... what killed it for you?
(when net savy people could fuck about on tinternets without the boss looking over your shoulder.
working 12 hours in a shitty minimum wage job killed it for me ... what killed it for you?
amoebaboy chose for death by unga bunga on,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 21:35,
archived)
good that !just about sums it up perfectly.
have a vague recollection of hearing this.
(have a vague recollection of hearing this.
amoebaboy chose for death by unga bunga on,
Mon 4 Aug 2014, 7:59,
archived)
Potato Shits, eh? Hope his name is McCain.
(
ferret -> twitter.com/syfyautocorrect <-,
Tue 5 Aug 2014, 5:52,
archived)
hmmmDon't know if would.
( PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 19:43,
archived)
haha cracking pic
I did a terrible version of it a while back for my quiz about bike :D
look at the fooking head on that! haha
lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm),
Mon 4 Aug 2014, 0:15,
archived)
Niiiice - clever and imaginative*clicks*
(
brown-wings Made with three kinds of butter,
Mon 4 Aug 2014, 16:29,
archived)
Try againHiyas
Did someone on here make a site that creates fake BBC News sites, or did I dream it? Odd thing to dream about I know.
(Did someone on here make a site that creates fake BBC News sites, or did I dream it? Odd thing to dream about I know.
smokinfish * All time exists simultaneously *,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 18:26,
archived)
Good goodI'm pleased for you that your human vehicle is functioning correctly!
( smokinfish * All time exists simultaneously *,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 18:33,
archived)
Don't believe him. He says that to everybody.He can't prove nothing.
(,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 18:36,
archived)
welldon't encourage pics as proof
( smokinfish * All time exists simultaneously *,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 18:38,
archived)
maybe we're both sharing the same lucid dream*pinChes self*
( PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 18:28,
archived)
Every moment of time exists outside of time, not simultaneously"simultaneously" is opposed to consecutively, and that needs some kind of time extraneous to time for the moments to be consecutive or simultaneous in, which leads to the question of whether the moments in that time outside of time are themselves simultaneous or not, which leads to an endless regress and is silly and wrong.
(,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 18:35,
archived)
last time that I try to be hipster
( smokinfish * All time exists simultaneously *,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 18:36,
archived)
I feel like I can almost remember something about a site that creates fake BBC news sites, hope that helps.It had a misleading URL that looked a bit like the BBC one, or something.
(,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 18:40,
archived)
that isgreat, thanks Felix! At least I wasn't dreaming then
( smokinfish * All time exists simultaneously *,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 18:48,
archived)
MehSeems it has died..
www.b3ta.com/links/Im_in_the_news_today_oh_boy
Someone make another!
Please?
.
(www.b3ta.com/links/Im_in_the_news_today_oh_boy
Someone make another!
Please?
.
smokinfish * All time exists simultaneously *,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 18:53,
archived)
Are you going to delete this thread like you did on the other boards?TDC
(,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 19:25,
archived)
Yeah, there's a fake BBC site. I think it's called black pudding up the shite pipe.It's in the faq somewhere.
( Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 20:44,
archived)
Looks like it's one of them junglies that Sting likes. The ones that stick ashtrays in their lips.
(
stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^),
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 16:09,
archived)
I don't get it ...You can't even see up her skirt.
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet.,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 16:42,
archived)
girl you're some kind of freak, freakI only asked for a peck on the cheek
you've got a beak, yeah yeah yeah
(,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 18:44,
archived)
you've got a beak, yeah yeah yeah
Ta :)Glad I'm not the only one who thinks burgers are made of poo
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 17:24,
archived)
Never ever eat them.Had one once about 20 years ago and was so ill, I almost puked my cock out.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet.,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 17:34,
archived)
How can this not win?Edit: and I'm pretty sure I clicked it last time, but this vote just sent it way over mine.
(
An Egg ,D,
Wed 6 Aug 2014, 3:48,
archived)
Here comes the landgrabber, murderer. He's a cynical gangster, murderer.
Blow up the kids in-a de area, murderer.
Still loathe him like that.
(Blow up the kids in-a de area, murderer.
Still loathe him like that.
Captain Howdy,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 12:26,
archived)
The UK should wellcome them all as immigrantsThey'd buid millions of new houses for us in no time.....they've had plenty of experience doing it
( CanonCaliber A big bore,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 14:36,
archived)
yeah, but we'd all end up displaced to hull with a big wall around us
(
empire of the pussycat requires more champage,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 15:00,
archived)
As the ex-colonial power of Palestine, we have a responsibility to them....like we did towards the Ugandan asians and the Hong Kong residents.
( CanonCaliber A big bore,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 15:09,
archived)
ah, i see, i thought you meant we invite the israeli settlers here, they have an even more prodigious rate of construction
if the palestinians came they would simply extend the network of middle eastern eateries further up the edgware road, which'd be ok as the north needs more hummus
(if the palestinians came they would simply extend the network of middle eastern eateries further up the edgware road, which'd be ok as the north needs more hummus
empire of the pussycat requires more champage,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 15:17,
archived)
Brotherly, Brotherly, Brotherly love!Brotherly, Brotherly, Brotherly love!
( lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm),
Mon 4 Aug 2014, 0:17,
archived)
Circumcision by squid beak?
(
brown-wings Made with three kinds of butter,
Mon 4 Aug 2014, 16:30,
archived)
*Reappoints and then instantly fires.*
(
Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 22:27,
archived)
YuckI mean yum. I mean it might be a virus.
(
cowcat Bituminous squeegee,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 23:44,
archived)
The FUCK Boat
(
BorisKarloff is in the back of the classroom forever,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 11:14,
archived)
i didn't realise i had left the webcam on last nite PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 18:29,
archived)
Has anyone got Sarah Greene's number now she's back on the market?
(
Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 22:28,
archived)
Most shaggable of all the Blue Peter presentersExcluding Petra, of course.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample.,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 22:41,
archived)
I heard she was a right go-er at school as well :D
(
lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm),
Mon 4 Aug 2014, 0:18,
archived)
Is Donald Trump dead?*wikipedias, beebs* ah. Gone to be with the late late whirly wheeler. Also, Jabberwoc: mad eyes. Mad, mad eyes.
( RRNot is a miserable sinner,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 6:10,
archived)
They even look like bits of a smokers trachea
(
Marxist Pig Better Red Than Smeg,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 17:55,
archived)
*inhales*....mine don't look like that and I smoke 20 spliffs a day*exhales*
( Elvis impersonator,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 18:17,
archived)
20 a day? You need to buy some stronger weed, man. Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 19:22,
archived)
..*longs for some Lebanese Gold wrapped in cheesecloth*those days are gone:(
( Elvis impersonator,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 20:01,
archived)
they haveaspartame in them :(
( smokinfish * All time exists simultaneously *,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 18:35,
archived)
and pork scratchings are made from the clippings following adult female genital mutilation
(
Michael Ellis contributes nothing,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 11:52,
archived)
that explains the whispy hairs on 'em
(
Marxist Pig Better Red Than Smeg,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 12:50,
archived)
*Give Us A Clue Nose/Finger point*
(
Michael Ellis contributes nothing,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 13:39,
archived)
damn, i have a pic for thaton b3tards
(
real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 13:59,
archived)
*Something something something Lionel Blair's a big whoopsie.*
(
Marxist Pig Better Red Than Smeg,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 14:26,
archived)
Ofcourse, it's drained of all blood and approved by a Rabbi
(
Marxist Pig Better Red Than Smeg,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 15:56,
archived)
I hope they market them in Chinawith the advertising tagline "they're bliss"
(,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 20:46,
archived)
Hula Hoops are slightly smaller than your fingersbecause of child labour. Also the deep fat fryers the kids stick their hands into, remove the moisture, causing them to reduce in size further.
I am off to try and fall asleep before the whisky affects my jusdgenemf.
(I am off to try and fall asleep before the whisky affects my jusdgenemf.
gaijintendo Regular Member,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 22:36,
archived)
Nope.The only sound he makes is FUCK
(
HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman,
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 22:29,
archived)
That's Incredible!!!!
(
BorisKarloff is in the back of the classroom forever,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 16:19,
archived)
Flan will be fine. It's only a cartoon.
(
BorisKarloff is in the back of the classroom forever,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 16:31,
archived)
If life gives you sandmake sandwiches.
© 2014 mofaha
(© 2014 mofaha
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 21:49,
archived)
Life's a beach.**I just made that up....just now.
(
atomic A-bomb-a-nation,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 22:02,
archived)
I didn't know Alex Graham had been writing Freb Basset since the late 60's
they had a different editorial policy at the Daily Mail for a while eh?
lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm),
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 0:16,
archived)
Alex sneaked this one pass the censors though...
big secret fan of the K9 was Alex*
for the purposes of this bit
lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm),
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 0:18,
archived)
It's a lonely life being a cartoonist
it's impossible not to talk from the heart when writing a daily column in the nations best selling gossip rag.
impossible
lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm),
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 0:19,
archived)
It was at this point the Editor called Alex in for a meeting...
What do you mean by 'Lipstick' exactly Alex?
Alex tried hard to conceal his growing erection...
lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm),
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 0:22,
archived)
'Timmy' was what Alex's imaginary friend called his boss, the Editor... the Editor...
Just wait....
(Just wait....
lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm),
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 0:23,
archived)
Alex headaches got worse
he wasn't sure how long his wife had been at her Mum's for...
Make it a double mate.
lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm),
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 0:25,
archived)
'Alex old chap, seriously, what is this?' seriously what is this?'
You know I can't print this in the Mail on Sunday. What's all this about?
Are you ok? Alex?
(You know I can't print this in the Mail on Sunday. What's all this about?
Are you ok? Alex?
lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm),
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 0:27,
archived)
She wasn't even answering his calls now
Thi'll teach the bitch! Where's that bottle of Johnny Walker?
lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm),
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 0:30,
archived)
'I can see you're not happy here Alex'
No hard feelings eh old boy? we'll make sure you're not put out of your house and everything.
Do Sunday's and we'll have to call it a day after that mate. Alex I'm...
lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm),
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 0:32,
archived)
Rumours still circulate that perhaps the last ever Fred Bassett strip
May not have been penned by the late great Alex Graham himself...
lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm),
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 0:40,
archived)
A Vigil was held at the Mail offices
And it was remembered how good it had been at the start.
"Great work Alex my lad keep that up eh? Keep it up lad"
lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm),
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 0:43,
archived)
"Keep them scared" said the Boss. 
Alex didn't know why he just needed the work. The mortgage was crippling him the kids hate him and the mother in law... what was this? A fucking Les Dawson joke?
No it's your life Alex pull it together you've only got one!
lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm),
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 0:53,
archived)
EPICAlso, I wonder what's up with the double eyebrow motif? Sure sign of a diseased mind
( Tagnut loves pies,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 0:41,
archived)
He was really starting to fade at this pointanger was twisting him more than he would allow himself to believe
( lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm),
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 0:45,
archived)
Met Graham's daughter.Graham is dead but his daughter now does them. Initially on his death she just re-issued her dad's old cartoons .
She's not a patch on her dad, not grasped the basset nature quite the same. She was at a big Basset Hound Club do at Newark show ground, (250 bassets there), 10 years ago, selling signed originals.
(She's not a patch on her dad, not grasped the basset nature quite the same. She was at a big Basset Hound Club do at Newark show ground, (250 bassets there), 10 years ago, selling signed originals.
MaxineBasset Betty Basset Bombs are Better,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 9:13,
archived)
oh dear, i feel a bit bad nowgoing off on some random brain splurge fantasy thing...
still, no harm done eh? :D
(still, no harm done eh? :D
lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm),
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 14:08,
archived)
These are beautiful.
Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...",
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 19:41,
archived)
thankyou siran evenings random brain farting.
I just tried not to think, but just see what popped into my head and go with it.
(I just tried not to think, but just see what popped into my head and go with it.
lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm),
Sun 3 Aug 2014, 14:09,
archived)
...as gay as it gets
PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Fri 1 Aug 2014, 23:02,
archived)
does that mean I should place it up my bottoms then?
(
lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm),
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 0:40,
archived)
![[challenge entry]](/images/board_posticon_c.gif "Challenge Entry: How food is made 2"){kind=small}
Yes I do know my Blessed Mary from my Saint Delia(
MaxineBasset Betty Basset Bombs are Better,
Fri 1 Aug 2014, 22:25,
archived)
Speaking of Whore Licks BallsTHE HISTORY OF MALTEASERS
BY GAIJINTENDO
Malteasers were invented by the same people who invented Horlicks in the 1930s.
After they created the snack, they had to think of a name. The first suggestion was
"Horlics balls", which of course was discounted.
They briefly played with the idea of calling them Ball Teasers, as they were a tasty light, but moreish snack.
After a well travelled employee pointed out the issues with that name, they settled on "MALT EASERS", as they were considered to be an energy provider, and also a mild sedative (Horlicks' main function).
That quickly became malt'easers, then finally, Malteasers.
MALTEASER FACT:
Malteasers have no 'join' because they are made in zero gravity. In fact, Amercian Rocket technology was developed specifically to reduce the cost of manufacture after WW2. Known as the great Snacks Race, it spawned NASA.
The Russians developed the snack called "BROWN BALLS" in parallel.
Good night!
(BY GAIJINTENDO
Malteasers were invented by the same people who invented Horlicks in the 1930s.
After they created the snack, they had to think of a name. The first suggestion was
"Horlics balls", which of course was discounted.
They briefly played with the idea of calling them Ball Teasers, as they were a tasty light, but moreish snack.
After a well travelled employee pointed out the issues with that name, they settled on "MALT EASERS", as they were considered to be an energy provider, and also a mild sedative (Horlicks' main function).
That quickly became malt'easers, then finally, Malteasers.
MALTEASER FACT:
Malteasers have no 'join' because they are made in zero gravity. In fact, Amercian Rocket technology was developed specifically to reduce the cost of manufacture after WW2. Known as the great Snacks Race, it spawned NASA.
The Russians developed the snack called "BROWN BALLS" in parallel.
Good night!
gaijintendo Regular Member,
Fri 1 Aug 2014, 23:06,
archived)
wow!...didn't know NASA made Maltesers in space......awesome!!!!
(
Elvis impersonator,
Fri 1 Aug 2014, 23:36,
archived)
CRUDE, BUT MY GRANDFATER GETS IT PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Fri 1 Aug 2014, 22:08,
archived)
The original Welsh version is much better
HappyToast Groat froth,
Fri 1 Aug 2014, 21:21,
archived)
Hitler's secret weapons episode LXVIII : Welsh dragonsIn 1943, Hitler attempted to steal a small Welsh dragon using his magic wand. The plot was foiled when he was run over by a steam locomotive.
(
Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇,
Fri 1 Aug 2014, 22:31,
archived)
From what I hear,he was chuffed to bits.
(
TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?,
Fri 1 Aug 2014, 22:50,
archived)
I'm convinced Laputa is a spinoff of Ivor the Engine
(
discomeats This canoe,
Sat 2 Aug 2014, 6:53,
archived)
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