I'm not dead
I've just not been around for a while.
Has anybody missed me?
Who's chief cunt nowadays?
What excitement have i missed out on?
Who loves me the most?
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 18:10, 251 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

er hey!
it's a bit empty here isn't it?

I don't know the answers to any of your questions, though. Try another
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 18:24, Reply)

Shame
Yep
BobbyChomp
Workboresme/batshitmentalist flounced, then returned under a different identity, and Edmund returned agin.
Probably Poppet

There we go! How was the walk?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 18:25, Reply)

Me
show us yer tits
( broadsword w⚓, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 19:08, Reply)

I have a problem with No.2
Do you mean chief cunt or most annoying cunt? I see these as two different entities.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 19:41, Reply)

Have you tried Immodium?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:34, Reply)

Can I also say
I'm not dead. I've just not been around for a while.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:27, Reply)

Yeah you are. Don't lie.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:33, Reply)

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
so I am. Still better banter than you though.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:27, Reply)

Me to all your questions.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:33, Reply)

Hi Monty
You still at work?
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:34, Reply)

Nah mon.
I'm back at my chateau.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:35, Reply)

Wassup bro?

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:36, Reply)

Steady slangin', knaamean?*


EDIT *Actually I'm not 100% certain I do myself. I believe I am suggesting my American street drug-dealing business is performing satisfactorily.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:40, Reply)

You black up today bad bwai?

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:43, Reply)

I delivered some FRESH RHYMES today.
Did you see them?

Alt answer: 'Mammmmy!'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:44, Reply)

Haha!
How I love you, how I love you, my dear old mammy.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:47, Reply)

Did you know
that Lenny Henry was in his younger days on the Black & White Minstrel Show?

Talk about an 'Uncle Tom muthafucka' or what?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:49, Reply)

I did yes.
We all make mistakes when we are young.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:50, Reply)

Were you in the National Front as well then?
Thank God. I thought it was just me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:53, Reply)

Noooooooo!
I remember the first black family on my council estate and I remember playing with the daughter's black dolls and being in awe of them.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:55, Reply)

My darling mother, bless her liberal socks,
never quite caught up with the latest term for 'African-English'. When she was a pickney 'black' was bad so you said 'coloured' because 'they're often more of a brown, aren't they?' Then the Black Power movement fucked that up and she's been a bit stumped ever since.

She once told me she'd seen 'a gorgeous negro in the high street'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:13, Reply)

Surely it's just black?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:42, Reply)

It is now.
But in the past that was an insult.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:45, Reply)

strange
I can see how it would be a minefield.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:47, Reply)

You racist.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:55, Reply)

Now it is, sure.
But before 'Say it loud, I'm black and I'm proud' etc., it was taken as derogatory. The Black Power chaps reclaimed it, like the benders did with 'queer'.

But only few years ago people started saying 'people of colour' in the US, just to add to the PC minefield.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:48, Reply)

I'd have thought
'people of colour' was offensive now :S

Though I still don't get 'African-Americans' it seems un-necessarily divisive
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:50, Reply)

Halle Berry used it (people of 'color')
at some shitty fucking awards ceremony, I recall.

It's hard to keep up, especially if you're the kind of chap who calls a spade a spade, what?

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:57, Reply)

names are sufficient
*had that beaten in*
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:08, Reply)

I'm agreeing with Broadsword right here
get yer baps out
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:35, Reply)

Kay Swiz,
As an american, who frequents a mostly british forum, do you find that when you leak out expresions from us; ones that aren't common in the US... what is the reaction you normally get? Or do you not tend to use these expresions?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:37, Reply)

uuuuummmmmmmmmmm
most I've used have been pissflaps and the good old add a body part to an animal thing insult, like badgers cunt
generally it takes people a moment to catch onto what I've said, then they laugh
I really don't use much of the terminology here, at most I'll quote movies like Shaun of the Dead or Hot Fuzz and say things like "Alright. Gaaaay." or like the two Andys say "Prick." "Wwwwwwanker."
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:25, Reply)

I realise these aren't specificly their quotes [anyone could say them] but I say it like the characters, in accent or whatever

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:26, Reply)

Cool =)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:51, Reply)

*sings*
get your baps out
get your baps out
get your baps out for the boys.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:37, Reply)

OH GOD NEW APPLE TOYS !
*must buy AppleTV*
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:35, Reply)

You love getting the hot new gadgets, right Gonz?
Does it not piss you off when they're either half price within a few months or out of date within the same timeframe?

I get massively pissed off about how much better a television I could get now for what I spent two years ago, I don't think I could cope with that happening to all my other gear as well.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:39, Reply)

Same with cars isn't it?
That's why I've never spent more than a grand on a car in the 17 years I've been driving.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:49, Reply)

I don't/can't drive Jeffarama.
but I'm sure you're right. I cannot shake the feeling that Panasonic saw me fucking coming.

But then I did have a wank outside Rumbelow's once, so they probably have.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:52, Reply)

Rumbelow's
Was the BEST shop to have a wank in front of.

Unlike Dixons with their metal shutters, you could stand outside 'Belows, have one off the wrist AND watching yourself doing so on a telly rigged up to one of their camcorders.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:57, Reply)

I use to work with my step dad in Tandys on a Saturday.

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:03, Reply)

Maybe that's where it was then.
Did you have pigtails?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:06, Reply)

I was about 10.
Probably.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:11, Reply)

Child labour.
You can't beat it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:14, Reply)

Ah.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:27, Reply)

I remember you now
The toddler with the glint in his eye staring through the window of the shop. I always thought it was strange for a 4 year old to be wearing a cravat.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:31, Reply)

Listen, I've changed now*
*not literally. I'm still in the same Farrah-effect trousers and 'geometric pattern' C&A jumper I was wearing all those years ago. The colours don't cut quite the bold dash they did in those glorious days of yore, and maybe they don't fit quite so well as they did back then, but inside I'm still the same old sweaty, rapey me.

I promise x x x x

EDIT and the Start-Rite cravat - of course!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:37, Reply)

You never forget your first perv.

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:40, Reply)

C&A? Really Monty?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:41, Reply)

Fuck no.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:49, Reply)

I should hope not
That shop was the most depressing one ever
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:50, Reply)

The very thought of the logo
makes me all 'Moaty'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:54, Reply)

I bet you have a secret fondness
for it. Apparantly still available on the continent
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:22, Reply)

Ah, Europe...
so 'chic', n'ec'e'e'e pas?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:26, Reply)

Rome yes
but then I bet there is no C&A in Rome
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:30, Reply)

No.
....but there is a 'U' in 'cunt'!!!!!111

I've got this whole 'chatting up' lark all wrong, haven't I?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:37, Reply)

MONTYTRON ENGAGE
-stage revolves, platform rises with wind machine catching his luscious locks, cape flapping behind him-
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:39, Reply)

I'm afraid so yes
there is also a U in fucker! (If you don't get this response you are doing it wrong)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:41, Reply)

Work in Tandy, nice and handy.
I hated shopping in Tandy.

They'd always insist of getting your name and address when you went to complete a transaction.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:14, Reply)

My Tandy also sold remaindered singles.
I got six copies of Anarchy in the UK for about £1.50. Made a fair bit on them.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:46, Reply)

Good work, Porkinson.
Did I ever tell you about my Sex Pistols connection during the war?

*fills pipe, draws blanket around knees in bath chair, pisses grey M&S y fronts*

I did? Oh.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:51, Reply)

But that was more than offset by my two biggest losses.
A very good copy of the original Honky Tonk Woman in the picture sleeve and a copy of The Who's Relay with Waspman on the B side (lol). Both stolen at the same party. Bastard students.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:34, Reply)

Panasonic plasma's are the best tv's on the market at the moment.
Full of Pioneer's incredible, but discontinued, Kuro series of plasmas.

I have got my eye on a modest 42" model at £800. Just need to peddle my prolapsed arsehole another 39 times.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:14, Reply)

Why not sell some
of that massive box of apostrophes you clearly have lying around the place these days, 'flash boy'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:32, Reply)

Dang nabbit
A momentary lapse of concentration and look where it gets me.



*shames*
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:57, Reply)

Same here.
I replace something when it's broken and not when something newer and shinier comes out.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:52, Reply)

This is the problem with society today.
When I were a lad, and all this was just fields, Old Man DogFucker would repair things. If the kettle was on the blink, he'd investigate and fix it. If the telly broke, a specialist TV repair man would be called to fix it (or it would go back to Radio Rentals and they'd sort it).

These days, if something breaks, we replace it no mend it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:56, Reply)

Those newer and shinier Greek waiters
are nowhere near as good as the old ones anyway. Best just remembering the good times, eh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:56, Reply)

How many waiters have you got yourself under?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:58, Reply)

I once had a fight with about 5 young Grecos
on a beach. They followed me around chanting 'Jesus Christ' at me until I threw a stein at one of them.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:08, Reply)

You is well 'ard.
Stein and deliver!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:14, Reply)

Hardly.
I had to hide in a hotel until they fucked off. I was on a 6th form trip to see Classical sites so luckily we were off the next morning.

Moped-riding bottom-wranglers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:24, Reply)

What is it with your average European and his love of mopeds?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:26, Reply)

It's second only
to their love of purse-snatching, weedy-moustache-growing and pastel-coloured-clothing-wearing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:29, Reply)

You'd have a weedy-moustache
You drug abuser.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:33, Reply)

Mine is worthy of the R.A.fucking F I'll have you know.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:52, Reply)

Men in uniform are your bestest of all the men.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:55, Reply)

^This

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:56, Reply)

Do you have a weedy moustache too?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:57, Reply)

No way.
She's always very careful - she'd never catch what you Germans call 'Wee Dee'.

Very personal question there, I'm appalled.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:02, Reply)

Sorry.
I should remember my place around here.

Consider me repremanded.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:09, Reply)

SCHWEINHUND!
*slaps round face with highly collectable luxury logo-embossed Gestapo glove*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:20, Reply)

Tsk.
slaps round face with highly collectable luxury logo-embossed Gestapo glove cock.

You big gaymo.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:28, Reply)

The only waiter I spoke to was Armenian.

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:01, Reply)

Who said anything about speaking?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:09, Reply)

*snort*

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:11, Reply)

It's like you can see into my sitting room.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:14, Reply)

Ooooh! Ooooh! I think I know this one.
Drugs.

Close?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:16, Reply)

I'm going with Monty owning a truffling pig
A long shot I admit
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:19, Reply)

Jeffers, you are like Derren Brown in your perspicacity.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:20, Reply)

You calling my brain a gay?
You starting?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:20, Reply)

GAY-BRAIN, GAY-BRAIN!
Look everyone, Jeff's a 'gay-brain'!

Hahahahaha

Gay-brain.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:30, Reply)

Homobrainophobe.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:32, Reply)

Er - 'gay-brain'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:08, Reply)

Stop starting.
Gay-brain hater.

Just because I can see into the future, you get scared.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:11, Reply)

^ classic 'gay-brain' talk here, if anyone's interested.
WHICH I SERIOUSLY DOUBT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:21, Reply)

Okay. I'll prove it.
Tomorrow.

Someone will call someone 'Bert'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:31, Reply)

Pardon, Gay-brain?
I can't quite hear you over the DEAFENING SOUND OF YOUR GAY BRAIN.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:34, Reply)

Proper LOL from me.
If I may...

POTD
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:38, Reply)

It's surely not better
than my 'MC rhymes' today?

Gah! No-one understands me OR my music.

*flounces*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:47, Reply)

I didn't read it.
I don't read a lot of what gets posted here.

Feel free to have SPOTD
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:49, Reply)

Lots of vinyl
and a pervasive odour of cat.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:22, Reply)

No more smell of cat, sadly.
No-one on which to blame the 'Whiskas stains' on the curtains, nowadays.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:31, Reply)

What happened to your pussy?

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:34, Reply)

He moved to the country
where he could run around and kill things instead of being cooped up in my flat all the time.

Re-reading that, it rather appeals to me, apart from the running around bit, of course.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:43, Reply)

It's all about the killing.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:44, Reply)

Aw! you have no-one to cuddle : (

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:46, Reply)

No-one
alive, no.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:53, Reply)

I understand.
The dead don't fight back.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:55, Reply)

Or have 'a headache'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:05, Reply)

Rapierist!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:20, Reply)

available all month as well

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:21, Reply)

fuckin' sexy like

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:27, Reply)

likes a good game
of sleeping lions
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:36, Reply)

LIONS LIONS FUCKING LIONS

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:36, Reply)

Surely it would have sunk in everywhere?
And hang around, like a malevolent, mewing spectre?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:31, Reply)

My own putrid stench
is like a mortuary Febreze, luckily.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:33, Reply)

The smell of tears, regret, dried semen
and dry meat.


Delicious.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:36, Reply)

'Disappointment.......by Monty Boyce...'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:45, Reply)

bedroom-in-the-dark-lol
It'll be a best seller.

"Suggestions for use: Spray on an old blanket, then roll into a rough sausage shape. You can put this in your bed and snuggle up to it, it'll almost be like having someone else sharing your pitiful existence!"
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:48, Reply)

'Comes with free razorblades'
because we know you can't come without them
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:53, Reply)

The advertising world
is your fucking oyster, young lady.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:55, Reply)

Thanks
I try
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:09, Reply)

Easy geeze.
Only on a very little way.

Most of my 'wow' technology is through Apple, and they're quite clever in the respect that they update previous models. Every single thing they produce has a one-year life cycle, more or less. They're clever that their updates are just low enough, combined with massive software improvements, that last year's top model will hold it's value the following year, and will have something 'new'.

It's every two-three years that they go to "if you like it, buy the latest, you'll love it", for example, it's been some time since the Nano had a real refresh, this year's Nano is a real increase in features, but for the last two years, it was only made slightly smaller. With the shuffle, they've gone backwards in design, last year's buttonless model was a mistake.

Apple TV is an entirely new take on things, so next year it'll come out with some new features, and in two-three years, it'll come out with something with a more 'wow' factor (apps? 3D? Games?.... nobody knows).

They also hold their value very well, I sold my 3GS for the price it cost to upgrade to a iPhone 4.

Thinking about technology. Think about it, the industries that are known to be 'open' (anyone can manufature) , such as 'PC's and 'Android Phones', are the ones where it seems that there is huge increases every 3 months, devalueing the previous top model. It'll happen with android-based tablets too, they won't hold their value.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 20:56, Reply)

As a rule
I try not buy a first generation model of any Apple product, I've found that they often have some significant fault somewhere and, as you've said, you know that in a few months they'll fix the fuck-up and upgrade it generally.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:05, Reply)

I don't think it's been like that in the last 3-4 years really.
And even then, it's a minor amount of consumers who have these problems.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:53, Reply)

Perhaps I've been unlucky
but it has also happened to enough people I know that I'll still choose not to pounce on Apple releases as soon as they appear.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:03, Reply)

Er the iphone4?

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:30, Reply)

What about it?
If you're talking about the call dropping, every phone I've tried, I've managed to recreate the issue.

And as a user, that issue hasn't effected me once.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:00, Reply)

What about it?
If you're talking about the call dropping, every phone I've tried, I've managed to recreate the issue.

And as a user, that issue hasn't effected me once.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:00, Reply)

What about 'double posting'?
I've heard that can be an issue.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:33, Reply)

Haven't you got school tomorrow young man?
Get to bed. I'll be up to tuck you in shortly.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:36, Reply)

I'd get Jacques fucking shit for my TV now.
At the time I thought I'd saved £150 and got a great price, which at the time I had.

An ex of mine's father worked for IBM and bought himself a £5k PC, at the time it was the Don. Nowadays you probably get more from the average telephone.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:18, Reply)

My current phone
with a 1Ghz processor, and 576Mb RAM, is the same spec as a laptop not even 6 years ago!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:25, Reply)

Yup, that's another 'open' market though.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:44, Reply)

I've
missed you.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:01, Reply)

I've missed you.

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:04, Reply)

aww
shucks !
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:23, Reply)

I've missed yyoooooooooooooouuuuuuuuu

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:29, Reply)

Woo!
Multiple misses!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:31, Reply)

I haven't missed you
because I tend to hang about in /talk and wasn't really aware of this off topic bit.
( CowJam, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:31, Reply)

Many come here but few stay.
What is your question for us?
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:33, Reply)

I don't have a question.
I just thought I'd stop by and say hello. We're not all cunts over on /talk.
( CowJam, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:44, Reply)

We know.
Hello : )
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:48, Reply)

*Illusion shattered.*
You heartless cunt.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:50, Reply)

He needs to come back tomorrow when we're all a bit more perky.
I'm off to bed soon.
( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:52, Reply)

I shall
but only in the evening, I can't come here at work.
( CowJam, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:04, Reply)

it's best not to let on to your employers that you
use B3TA, I find
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:23, Reply)

I've never bothered to try
It was firewalled in the last place, the current place doesn't need a firewall because the internet there is so shit it's not worth the effort.
( CowJam, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:26, Reply)

I just go with the notion that
the IT people probably know B3Ta and thus know I shouldn't be there in college.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:28, Reply)

Ha!

( CowJam, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 21:55, Reply)

i'm dead
wooOOOOooooOOOOoooOOOoooOOO

(that was a ghost noise, BTW)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:17, Reply)

the Chuckle brothers are doing a remake of Randall and Hopkirk, Deceased.
It's going to be called To Me To WooOOoooOOOoo
( CowJam, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:19, Reply)

totally stealing that
haha
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:19, Reply)

I'm burning up
-achoooooooo-

How are you, everyone's favourite /ot Female LARPer*?


*trying not to offend anyone, seeing how huffy Kitty and Lab got about my opinions on piercings...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:19, Reply)

you got fever?
I'm totally cool - but mostly still sleepy from fighting and drinking all weekend
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:20, Reply)

Yeah, post-festival lurgy
extras include buckets of phlegm and a lovely sexy raspy voice.

Oh wow cool like. That sounds fun. I drank 2 days out of my extended weekend and had to deal with Gallows fans, not monsters, but I can see the parallels ;)
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:24, Reply)

ah
I drank 3 nights. But I think mead is just good for you. As is Pimms, vodka, port, red wine, and whatever other shit people were passing round.

Fake fighting often makes for less injuries than festivals. Which one Reading or Leeds?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:27, Reply)

PIMMS YES I LOVE PIMMS
Mead in the words of Neil Gaiman tastes of "drunken diabetic's piss".

I was working at Leeds, being a "friendly face of the festival" and not erally doing much apart from turning people who pretended to have one leg away from the disabled toilets.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:30, Reply)

It depends which mead you get
Moniak is the king of mead - it's much drier that the stuff you get in Christmas markets and it makes you giggley

I always fancy reading/leeds but it clashes with the biggest larp event of the year. Who was good?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:33, Reply)

Arcade Fire and Los Campesinos
Darwin Deez were a good new act (for me), to see the Libertines is probably quite impressive nowadays what with Smackhead Pete being a twat (still don't like them much), and Metronomy are excellent, as usual.

I avoided Blink (see below) and Asshole Rose.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:34, Reply)

these all sound like good choices

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:36, Reply)

Anything with choreographed dance routines, flashing chest lights
or Regine Chassagne gets a thumbs up from me.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:37, Reply)

Stewarding?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:40, Reply)

Yes yes I was
Did you do it, or know anyone who did?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:45, Reply)

Nearly did it a few years back.
They wanted folk signing up to do 12 hour shifts, have immaculate clothes and perfect appearance at all times, not drink or smoke even on their time off, and travel to/from, camp and live on the site entirely at their own expense; all this for the minimum wage less a 30% agency fee. Oh, and you were expected to be front-line security too.

Despite all that, it was only four solid days of torrential rain in the week leading up to the event that led to me backing out in the end.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:52, Reply)

Bloody hell
We were Oxfam, though we weren't supposed to drink 5-6 hours before we went on shift no one really gave a fuck. We weren't paid though, but it was a good laugh.

My friends who worked security sounded like hell :(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:54, Reply)

I have always fancied
holding a 'reading' festival in the same area, on the same weekend. See how many people I can sell hugely expensive tickets to, to see a load of people reading books.

I think I should go to bed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:31, Reply)

You should have a sister festival
for dogwalkers, called Leads.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:32, Reply)

Where's 'JeffTheDogFucker' when you need him, EH?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:48, Reply)

Here boy!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:49, Reply)

They look like they mean it,
but their records sound rather tame, to my old ears.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:27, Reply)

The security lady I was working with had had an amp thrown at her by one of them
and the lead guy used to get tattoo'd on stage.

Not much bad happened, I just had to do a little bit of motherly care with a damp tissue adn lots and lots of blood.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:29, Reply)

Poor old 'kids of today',
with their mediocre half-baked 'punk rock'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:32, Reply)

Not as bad as "woohoo masturbation hahaha fuck you in the arse we're so witty Blink Fucking One Fucking Eight Fucking Two"
I watched Roots Manuva instead.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:33, Reply)

how did that shit
get called punk?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:34, Reply)

BECAUSE WE HAVE TATTOOS AND DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU THINK RAH RAH RAH

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:35, Reply)

awesome I qualify as punk by that definition
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:40, Reply)

Excellent news
Now just scream at everyone and throw your equipment at your fans.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:41, Reply)

ns ce
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:43, Reply)

I'd throw my equipment at your fan
/the todd
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:43, Reply)

Make sure your amplifier isn't plugged in before you do,
if you know what I mean.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:44, Reply)

I wouldn't call Gallows punk rock

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:34, Reply)

They were fun. I'll give them that.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:35, Reply)

I have a clear memory of seeing them
but no idea where
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:39, Reply)

the Scotland in your head?
/old joke no one here probably saw
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:42, Reply)

/shuffles awkwardly

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:50, Reply)

Nor would I.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:42, Reply)

I am definitely not chief cunt.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:46, Reply)

Field Marshal Cunt?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:50, Reply)

That's better or Atilla The Cunt, Mohammed Cunti?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:54, Reply)

Sorry, 'Chief Shitting Bull'.

Actually that is surely Hanky.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:51, Reply)

I might be a tool
but I don't tell lies.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:57, Reply)

Have his sockpuppet accounts got anyone banned lately?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:57, Reply)

No bans for ages, that I know of.
More's the fucking pity.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:04, Reply)

Don't worry
he didn't mean leader.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:51, Reply)

But you are the annoying one.
You've taken that mantle from Darth
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:57, Reply)

Recently Darth has made more reference to MASSIVE DRUGS than Montsy
Like, omg, wtf.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 22:59, Reply)

I like Darth
so I don't mind that. I don't see how I can be that annoying I don't troll and if I'm boring just don't get involved.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:02, Reply)

like am in a sordid, morally-reprehensible relationship with
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:05, Reply)

Speak for yourself, pedicator

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:07, Reply)

'You're only gay if you say yes'.
My brother's friend 'Hawkeye'* taught me that.

*who did 5 years in Strangeways for manslaughter
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:09, Reply)

One day I'm going to sit down and buy you a bottle of XO cognac
(that's the sort you like, isn't it?) and you're going to tell me ALL YOUR STORIES.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:11, Reply)

That is a deal I will honour with gusto.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:12, Reply)

Can I steal a seat?
I'll buy the second bottle
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:13, Reply)

Bring some fucking gin
I've never had cognac. Not sure drinking neat alcohol is entirely my thing.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:14, Reply)

Sorry, it's strictly coggers.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:16, Reply)

Arse.
Ah well, it'll be worth it when you tell us about the time you were caught sucking off the head boy by the matron...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:18, Reply)

She only spread that story because I wouldn't 'play ball'
as our delightful American cousins might say*

*Stephen Fry voice
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:19, Reply)

hehehehehehe
I will besmirch your name, just like I did to Crow.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:22, Reply)

I am unbesmirchable.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:35, Reply)

^ this is not true

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:40, Reply)

Sorry, 'inbesmirchable' then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:41, Reply)

haha
you'd hope so. But the head-boy story is only the tip of the lies
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:43, Reply)

Being the well-known Aled Jones-type innocent that I am,
no-one would countenance such falsehoods, and thus my goodly name wouldst remain unbesmirched even were the cheekiest little shits in Christendom to pour their foulest slurs 'gainst me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:49, Reply)

ah but sadly
I am not the cheekiest little shit in Christendom, I am an upstanding member of the global community.

LIES MONTY PURE LIES
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:50, Reply)

On that evil note
I'm off to watch some shit TV. So sleep well Monty and dream good dreams
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:52, Reply)

Nacht.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:53, Reply)

I SHALL NOT REST
until the noble house of Boyce is freed from this yoke of ignominy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:53, Reply)

Gin it is
Cognac is lovely but to everyone's taste
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:16, Reply)

It's my party and I'll insistoncognac if I want to.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:18, Reply)

then cognac it is
we shall educate Lampito in it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:23, Reply)

This will not end well.
Right lovelies, see you all tomorrow. No, don't wait up. Yes, I'll call. Promise. No you hang up. No you hang up! No yo-

Oh.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:25, Reply)

Tickets are available in all good record stores NOW

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:16, Reply)

excellent
I'm holding you both to that
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:17, Reply)

I think it would be better as a Louis Theroux sort of documentry
With him following you around, and you trying hard not to punch him.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:20, Reply)

I'm thinking a more 'fireside recollections' kind of 'vibe'.
Soft focus avuncular reminiscences about 'that time 'Bod ' went to the poll tax riots and purloined a policeman's helmet, only to trade it for a can of 'Special Brew'* on the way back to Winchester', that kind of stuff.

*my father used to deliberately get names of things wrong to disparage them and it was hugely effective. 'You and your 'specialist beers'', he once said to my brother.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:25, Reply)

so Fireside Chats then?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:26, Reply)

You could have discrete nazi memorabilia on the wall and keep refering to cousin Otto
G'night all.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:29, Reply)

Gakanory?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:31, Reply)

*commissions*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:36, Reply)

with that in mind
I was at my friends house earlier where he was telling us how his ex liked to do switch roles and partake in some strap on action. Quite a revelation.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:08, Reply)

He's grown on me too.
But when he started a while ago, he was very similar to you. dead keen posting a lot, often with little point, that sort of thing. Today you have the mantle, soon it will be someone else.

All part of the fun.

Edit: I forgot the similarity in neogayism as you illustrate above.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:07, Reply)

I MUST CONFORM - bollocks to it I'm not going to jump through hoops on a chat room.

edit - that wasn't meant to be so Kevin the teenager-esque.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:09, Reply)

I didn't say conform, but the similarities were remarkable.
Be yourself.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:12, Reply)

B pe
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:12, Reply)

ROFL

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:14, Reply)

Cheers Trisha

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:13, Reply)

I want my own show on channel 5

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:15, Reply)

If they will broadcast Vanilla Ice tossing off a turkey you have a shot.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:26, Reply)

Hope for me at last.
Cheerio Bobby, see you in the morning. I'm climbing the steps to Bedfordshire.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:31, Reply)

night.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:32, Reply)

Me too.
Like an unwanted genital fungus.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:11, Reply)

the cock that time forgot?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:12, Reply)

Sorry
I'm now chuckling at the the thought of a wanted genital fungus.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:14, Reply)

I feel on fire tonight
/burning, crumbling to pieces, and smelling of roasted meat
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:18, Reply)

*taps nose*
Live yoghurt.

*says no more*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:20, Reply)

Don't tap it Monty, it might fall off.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:23, Reply)

*gives shifty nod*
Titanium, innit?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:37, Reply)

You want to ignore it
but you gotta scratch it.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:13, Reply)

Man-spore

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:13, Reply)