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This is a link post Town crier I made this!
for best results, please turn the sound on
 (drivelsieve apologies - i'm joining in, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 9:02, , Reply)
This is a normal post Very silly.
Well done.
 (I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 10:11, , Reply)
This is a normal post king of the attention seekers that one

(benito vaselini no not that one, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 10:33, , Reply)
This is a link post My very first talent shows I made this!
Doing comedy is my dream and here I am doing it!
 (rizzivision, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 3:44, , Reply)
This is a normal post Your dream, my nightmare.

(I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 8:58, , Reply)
This is a normal post I liked it!
That takes guts. I hope you won.
 (I helped save b3ta! presferatu, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 10:21, , Reply)
This is a normal post Hats off to you sir!
Your gonads are considerably more metallic than mine.
 (I helped save b3ta! tarka_dall Like normal dall, only a bit more spicy, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 11:02, , Reply)
This is a link post Pork Sliders

(I helped save b3ta! BaronMunchausen Interdimensional Demon Day Laborer, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 0:03, , Reply)
This is a normal post
WANT
 (I helped save b3ta! Mr Mann I love pigs, best of all the animals, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 0:12, , Reply)
This is a normal post I quite like one of those.
But then I'd have to stop eating bacon etc. or I'd lose my mind.
 (eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 13:25, , Reply)
This is a normal post Either the differential's locked or a broken track rod end, i reckon.

(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Wed 25 Apr 2018, 0:25, , Reply)
This is a normal post Yay! 10/10 for the house pig.
That makes me wonder what the idiosyncrasies of a house pig are.
 (I helped save b3ta! cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 1:26, , Reply)
This is a normal post Sometimes they turn out to be regular pigs that end up growing to full size

(I helped save b3ta! jonbob loves you, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 13:10, , Reply)
This is a normal post Now I hate life!
Slower, smellier, and meaner.
 (I helped save b3ta! cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 15:22, , Reply)
This is a normal post Not eating them for breakfast?

(I helped save b3ta! The_cold_stare Coming here only when very, very bored, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 21:59, , Reply)
This is a normal post Okay fine, wait until he's fully grown and still doing that
He'd destroy the house
 (I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 7:36, , Reply)
This is a normal post You house needs more banked curves
*click*
 (I helped save b3ta! Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 10:03, , Reply)
This is a normal post Cant

(SockCooker ПТН ПНХ, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 18:32, , Reply)
This is a normal post He came through the door
Like he had just been slid off a sizzling pan filled with melted butter onto a platter piled high with eggs and chips
 (I helped save b3ta! The_cold_stare Coming here only when very, very bored, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 21:58, , Reply)
This is a link post pretty for someone
Chita Rivera sings to her dancers
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:25, , Reply)
This is a normal post I was suspicious about that heavy, full-length dress
I was right to be suspicious
 (I helped save b3ta! thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 12:17, , Reply)
This is a link post Scousers: ever dignified, never emotionally incontinent.

(I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:03, , Reply)
This is a normal post Best comment:
Start making more money weekly... This is a valuable part time work for everyone... The best part ,work from comfort of your house and get paid from $10k-$20k each week ... Start today and have your first cash at the end of this week...

w­w­w­.p­­a­­yt­­oda­­y2­­4­­7­­.­c­o­m­ᴵᴵᴵᴵᴵᴵᴵ
 (I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:14, , Reply)
This is a normal post At last then they'd pay some tax instead of spending their life being a net drain on the country
But how many lifetimes would they need to pay enough tax to cover the nhs, court and policing bill? ITU alone must be thousands per day.
 (dyllon nice beaver., Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:30, , Reply)
This is a normal post I've warmed to spam lately.
My junk mail folder contains far more positively worded content than social media.
 (I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:08, , Reply)
This is a normal post I was pleased to see I'm getting 419 scams through again.
I was beginning to worry about Nigeria.
 (I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:29, , Reply)
This is a normal post Fuck these backwards, self-absorbed, classless twats
And fuck the social media bandwagons that kickstart this utter fucking nonsense.
Lessons should have been learned with Charlie Gard and safeguards should have been put in place to ensure these kinds of pointless legal battles could no longer be initiated by emotionally compromised parents of sick children.
If *multiple* paediatricians are telling you that keeping your child alive on a breathing machine is only prolonging its suffering, just fucking accept it. Yes it's going to be hard, but if you can manage to put down a dog that you've spent years developing a relationship with, at least have the fucking character to do it with a child you've only really known for five minutes. Selfish cunts, all of them.
 (Huw Edwards #notalljews, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:18, , Reply)
This is a normal post Isn't you that ended up deleting a link you'd posted about a photo of the parents of a dead baby?

(I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:23, , Reply)
This is a normal post Yes, yes it was.
Is it relevant, though?
 (Huw Edwards #notalljews, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:27, , Reply)
This is a normal post Yes, yes it is.
I'm objecting to the violent disorder, near rioting, in a hospital. You seem to object to the parents desperately clutching at straws and refusing to defer to the judgement of the medical professionals in the case of their inevitably moribund infant. I'm guessing you don't have kids.
 (I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:41, , Reply)
This is a normal post Can't I object to both?
You're right though, no kids. Had the snip last year too, so none to follow either!
 (Huw Edwards #notalljews, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:45, , Reply)
This is a normal post No kids! You don't say! I did not see that coming!

(I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:47, , Reply)
This is a normal post He had the snip!
No one sees that cumming
 (Paint! Another one lost, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:49, , Reply)
This is a normal post It's fucking great! You should try it.
All that extra money. Being able to fuck off out the house whenever you fancy. Being able to spend all day in bed without any distractions. Bliss.
A few weeks ago, me and Mrs. Penis spent the entire weekend in bed playing computer games. We only got up to pee, poop and do the odd supply run to the shops for sweeties and biscuits. It was brilliant. Did I mention all that spare money?
 (Huw Edwards #notalljews, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:53, , Reply)
This is a normal post You're clearly very happy and fulfilled. Why is it you get so angry about people being upset that their baby is dying?
A woman who spends all weekend in bed eating biscuits and sweets? Wow, I bet she's fit!
 (I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:57, , Reply)
This is a normal post MMMMeeeeooowww!!!

(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:02, , Reply)
This is a normal post *purrs*

(I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:14, , Reply)
This is a normal post The fittest, but I would say that, because she's Mrs. Penis.
Plus, being that she's never had kids, her vagina doesn't resemble a torn out fireplace. Another added bonus of being child free!
 (Huw Edwards #notalljews, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:03, , Reply)
This is a normal post So you say. Your recurring, intense anger at other people being upset that their baby is dying and apparent complete lack of empathy for them I think tells a different story.
You clearly do care, or you wouldn't be so angry.
 (I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:11, , Reply)
This is a normal post I'm angry about lots of things, not just this.
Seems to have happened since I got sober. Apparently I'm making up for all the years of being a passive, apologetic self-loathing prick while I was drinking.
You learn a lot about the world around you when you realise you aren't as bad as you convinced yourself you were, and the people around you aren't nearly as morally superior as you believed them to be.

Bit of a paradox really. I'm far angrier at things than I ever was, but also far happier in general. Liberated, I suppose.
 (Huw Edwards #notalljews, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:19, , Reply)
This is a normal post Well, the next time you feel like having a go at the parents of a dying baby, have a drink pal.

(I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:28, , Reply)
This is a normal post Probably not a good idea.
'The first drink gets you drunk' and all that.
 (Huw Edwards #notalljews, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:33, , Reply)
This is a normal post Nah, I think a passive and apologetic demeanour would suit you well, especially if it meant you cut out the bullshit.

(I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:39, , Reply)
This is a normal post STOP MENTIONING DRINK PLS

(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:40, , Reply)
This is a normal post I'm not angry,
just very slightly miffed at the over saturation of all news channels with it. It's very sad for them certainly, but its a private tragedy that needs to fuck off out of my sight.
 (eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 0:06, , Reply)
This is a normal post TBH, I hear having a family to support and comfort you in your old age is overrated.
And leading a sedentary lifestyle with a poor diet will probably mean that living to old age isn't even an issue.
 (I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 12:20, , Reply)
This is a normal post We'll have a maid/private care for that with all the money we've saved assuming the human race is still around in another 50 years.
Also, I'm not sure that one weekend in bed eating shit and playing computer games really counts as a sedentary lifestyle. I don't own a motor vehicle and regularly cycle the 36 mile round trip to work every day, so I suppose that'll help keep the pounds off from our occasional lazy indulgences.
 (Huw Edwards #notalljews, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 13:29, , Reply)
This is a normal post Ahhh. The penny has dropped...
your girlfriend doesn't want to stay in bed all the time, she has no choice but to stay there, you're one of those super fit feeders. She's a hostage with a three figure BMI.
 (I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 16:53, , Reply)
This is a normal post Columbo, is that you?

(Huw Edwards #notalljews, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 17:59, , Reply)
This is a normal post He has the mac.

(I helped save b3ta! gingerfreak Why? Why not., Wed 25 Apr 2018, 20:52, , Reply)
This is a normal post no one sees him coming
not even himself! .. he's had the snip
 (L E T S G O "Stop buying into and spreading this shit", Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:21, , Reply)
This is a normal post bindun
:(
 (Paint! Another one lost, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:30, , Reply)
This is a normal post He certainly has been.
Twice.
 (I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 0:08, , Reply)
This is a normal post Your kid's a fucking vegetable
Stop whining and get over it.
 (MC Chicken Sandwich Me gusta ver la pornografía de los milfs., Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:59, , Reply)
This is a normal post surely catholics stop fighting for the right to life
as soon as the foetus exits the womb? And then immeidately join hands with protestant evaglicals calling for the death penalty. Or in the case of the current pope's pals, blessing their unconscious bodies before they get chucked out the back of an aeroplane into the south atlantic so their torturers can adopt the orphans?
All together now 'Wade in the water...'
 (I helped save b3ta! The Ann Coulter Fan Club Babylon is burning at, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:26, , Reply)
This is a normal post Imagine having your critically ill child on that ward with all this going on

(dyllon nice beaver., Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:32, , Reply)
This is a normal post And cunts on Facebook *still* defend their behaviour.

(Huw Edwards #notalljews, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:35, , Reply)
This is a normal post I found this interesting.
Twitter.
 (I helped save b3ta! gingerfreak Why? Why not., Wed 25 Apr 2018, 20:58, , Reply)
This is a normal post I'd be surprised if they weren't numbed by it all.

(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:38, , Reply)
This is a normal post I wouldn't wish what his parents are going through on anyone
and having to let their son go must be agonising, but there are a hell of a lot of deluded idiots that are whipping it all up and giving them false hope... the pope included.

Looking at the tweets from Alfie's supporters, they all believe that the hospital in Italy is offering alternative treatment... not one of them understands what palliative care means.

When he finally passes it's going to kick off big time.
 (I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:44, , Reply)
This is a normal post Forget it Drac, it's Liverpool.

(I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:46, , Reply)
This is a normal post It's not all bad.
I worked just outside of Ellesmere Port for 14 years, had a lot of scouse colleagues, only one of them was a dick head.
 (I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:05, , Reply)
This is a normal post Did they all have bubble perms and moustaches?

(I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:33, , Reply)
This is a normal post No, none of them wore shell suits either.
They did though all have a fairly negotiable attitude to tax and always knew the current scrap value of copper.
 (I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:42, , Reply)
This is a normal post When he finally passes, everyone will get suddenly bored and the whole thing will be quickly swept under the carpet
Until the next great social injustice bandwagon gets rolling.
 (Huw Edwards #notalljews, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:46, , Reply)
This is a normal post Some people love the drama.
Especially the sort of drama that gives them a spurious feeling of being on the 'right' side and they don't actually have to deal with the aftermath.
 (I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:56, , Reply)
This is a normal post But people who want to be on the right side of history welcome the aftermath.

(I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:01, , Reply)
This is a normal post I was thinking tribal belonging stuff of the farcebook supporters.
In a sense the aftermath is the interesting bit, when people have calmed down and are (hopefully) making sense of it. Perhaps not if they've had a similar bereavement that hasn't been well resolved.
 (I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:30, , Reply)
This is a normal post I dunno. Righteousness is a dangerous emotion. I'm all too familiar with it. I'm learning though that life is about more than being right.

(I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:45, , Reply)
This is a normal post Depends what you're right about.
In technical/practical/scientific subjects I like being right(enough).

In relationships it is usually disastrous.

For me life seems too short to endlessly need to compete to 'win'.
 (I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Wed 25 Apr 2018, 0:21, , Reply)
This is a normal post Exactly
While I feel sorry for the parents as they’ve been dealt a handful of shit, I’m rapidly losing any sympathy for them for the way they’re flinging it at everyone in sight.
 (I helped save b3ta! wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 7:29, , Reply)
This is a normal post Why does anyone care who isn't a family member?
People seem so desperate these days to join groups that enable them to shout at / hate other groups.

People thought I was being glib when I used to say we needed a war. We really, really need a proper, old-fashioned war, with lots of plebs getting machine-gunned to death.
 (I helped save b3ta! Mr Mann I love pigs, best of all the animals, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:14, , Reply)
This is a normal post I'd vote for this.

(Huw Edwards #notalljews, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:20, , Reply)
This is a normal post But this is Alder Hey hospital
Remember them.... they illegally removed childrens body parts and kept them in bottles
This is Liverpool, remember them....they starved people to death in hospital under the "Liverpool pathway" treatment plan
 (I helped save b3ta! CanonCaliber A big bore, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 9:29, , Reply)
This is a normal post yes everyone in the hospital and the wider city is evil
You daft twat
 (benito vaselini no not that one, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 10:32, , Reply)
This is a normal post Other people would have let the parts rot or burnt them.
In a country without legal euthanasia, starvation is frequently the only option.
 (I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Wed 25 Apr 2018, 13:32, , Reply)
This is a normal post My boy spent a couple of weeks in intensive care when he was born.
Can't imagine a worse environment for something like this to kick off.
 (I helped save b3ta! Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 9:48, , Reply)
This is a normal post
On Tuesday, the judge "described one of the family’s advisers from the Christian Legal Centre, Pavel Stroilov, a law student and activist, as “a fanatical and deluded young man” who risked imprisonment for contempt of court with some of his legal advice."
 (MC Chicken Sandwich Me gusta ver la pornografía de los milfs., Wed 25 Apr 2018, 12:07, , Reply)
This is a link post Which one of you etc. etc.
Double posting shitbag I know... but I left it a couple of hours.
 (I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 21:43, , Reply)
This is a normal post Serves her right for eating that exotic forrin muck.

(I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 21:54, , Reply)
This is a normal post
‘I don’t even like kale, I just eat it because it’s healthy.’
 (eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 21:57, , Reply)
This is a normal post I blame Beyonce.

(I helped save b3ta! presferatu, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 21:59, , Reply)
This is a normal post She liked so she stuck a dick in it?

(I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:01, , Reply)
This is a normal post She wore a t-shirt with kale written on it. Now people think kale is bootylicious and wank on it.

(I helped save b3ta! presferatu, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 0:22, , Reply)
This is a normal post Wasn't that the back story of Cabbage Patch Kids?

(I helped save b3ta! Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:22, , Reply)
This is a normal post Tesco are having none of it
And from what they have said about the process it would be impossible for it to survive intact. On the other hand, we have a woman who hates kale and is eating it and who goes to the paper when Tesco don't play ball with a bit of compensation. Money on a DNA test coming back positive for her husband's jizz
 (I helped save b3ta! The_cold_stare Coming here only when very, very bored, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:45, , Reply)
This is a normal post The franger is a bit grubby.
I don't think it's been in the front bottom.
 (I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:49, , Reply)
This is a link post ZOMG! The Toronto van driver was a fucking internet virgin!!
I fear /links could be a powder keg ready to explode O_o
 (I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 19:04, , Reply)
This is a normal post /links will be fine
You're not technically a virgin if you have sex with animals.
 (I helped save b3ta! Fadgebadger (1 like), Tue 24 Apr 2018, 19:13, , Reply)
This is a normal post Does the animal have to be live? Does a roasting chicken count?
Asking for a friend.
 (I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 19:46, , Reply)
This is a normal post I'm not completely sure.
Hang on I'll gaz pissflaps
 (I helped save b3ta! Fadgebadger (1 like), Tue 24 Apr 2018, 19:59, , Reply)
This is a normal post Shut up, Farva

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 20:46, , Reply)
This is a normal post (1 like)

(macroscian (1 like), Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:04, , Reply)
This is a normal post You learn something new every day
When I say you , I mean me...
 (I helped save b3ta! war3n3xt < I'm with stupid, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 19:23, , Reply)
This is a normal post he may be an internet virgin but he is probably a right stud on redtube

(I helped save b3ta! Turboesprit Volume knob, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 19:28, , Reply)
This is a normal post Looks like he'll be breaking his duck soon
Just not in the way he hoped...
 (I helped save b3ta! Mr Mann I love pigs, best of all the animals, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 19:42, , Reply)
This is a normal post Surely safer to make your last public post something about contracting HIV? Lack of forward planning, that

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 20:46, , Reply)
This is a normal post The Canadian police interrupted karma.
He could have died, gone to heaven only to find himself among 72 virgins awaiting an Isis Jihadist.
 (I helped save b3ta! Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 22:36, , Reply)
This is a normal post have we done a head count here yet?

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 21:22, , Reply)
This is a normal post No one here has had head

(I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 21:34, , Reply)
This is a normal post or can count

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 21:37, , Reply)
This is a normal post I do know of one b3tan in the area
I’ve not seen anything from him since either.
 (I helped save b3ta! wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 7:39, , Reply)
This is a normal post Why don't incels just
share wanking tips amongst each other? Sitting on your arm till it goes numb seems far more practical advice than to become a terrorist.
 (I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:27, , Reply)
This is a normal post If he was that desperate it's beyond me why he didn't spend his money on a lady of ill repute instead.

(I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 23:31, , Reply)
This is a normal post
www.b3ta.com/links/1485016
 (I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 8:15, , Reply)
This is a normal post The world is starting to resemble a Judge Dredd story...

(I helped save b3ta! Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 9:56, , Reply)
This is a link post Swans attacking a golfer NSFW
(contains swearing)
(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 18:06, , Reply)
This is a normal post Good for them
If only we could stop people playing golf for the rest of eternity
 (I helped save b3ta! thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 12:22, , Reply)
This is a normal post Did someone neglect to call FORE!
before you got thwacked in the head by a 300 yard drive?
 (eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 13:29, , Reply)
This is a link post Spike Milligan reads - Adolf Hitler: My Part in His Downfall
As part of celebrating 100 years since his birth there's all sorts going on. And if you find audio books odd but like Spike then try:
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0b0cyxb
(Michael Palin and Spike's daughter Jane celebrate Spike Milligan's 100th birthday with the first broadcast of an archive that captures his perspective of his life and career.)
 (I helped save b3ta! unclepills, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 15:25, , Reply)
This is a normal post His war diaries are brilliant.
"Here lies the body of Havelock the dog. Shot in the head, dropped like a log."
 (I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 15:30, , Reply)
This is a normal post
"Why do they keep moving us around so much?"

"They're trying to make us look a lot"

"Yeah, a lot of cunts"
 (I helped save b3ta! TownsendsPublisher is all gravy baby, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 15:33, , Reply)
This is a normal post ^ This
Funny but also sad at tines. A sense that the intense experience of short term love and possible short term life would never be experienced again.
 (I helped save b3ta! spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 15:58, , Reply)
This is a normal post Definitely. And that the humour was all about stopping them succumbing to the madness of war.
The bit where he got shell shock was a tough read.
 (I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 17:03, , Reply)
This is a normal post The prologue to the Rommel book still makes me chuckle
I have described nothing but what I saw myself, or learned from others of whom I made the most careful and particular enquiry.

Thucydides. Peloponnesian War.

I've just jazzed mine up a little.
Milligan. World War II.
 (hoppitygoestotown The temporal displacement occurred exactly, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 17:18, , Reply)
This is a normal post My favourite bit was when they were having a quiet soak in the sea...
... and an American plane annoyed them by flying low over them.

"I hope you bloody well crash!" shouts our hero. The plane then proceeds to immediately crash into the sea and explode. This has a sobering effect on the men he's with.

He then tries it on every enemy plane he sees. Tragically, it never works again.
 (SonofRojBlake, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 7:52, , Reply)
This is a link post Inspector Clouseau goes boating

(I helped save b3ta! MartinH, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 14:48, , Reply)
This is a normal post should have worn armbands

(I helped save b3ta! Turboesprit Volume knob, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 17:08, , Reply)
This is a normal post In Memory of the Time When People Did Not Capitalise Unnecessarily.

(I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 9:06, , Reply)
This is a normal post PETA want to increase their publicity, you mean.

(Huw Edwards #notalljews, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 9:09, , Reply)
This is a normal post There's a nugget of truth in that.

(I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 9:19, , Reply)
This is a normal post Rest in pies

(I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 9:11, , Reply)
This is a normal post
gUrk*
 (I helped save b3ta! unclepills, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 13:06, , Reply)
This is a normal post Urban dictionary tells me this is the sound that is made when choking on an erect penis.
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gurk

Sorry we interrupted your lunch.
 (I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 14:49, , Reply)
This is a normal post
blimey, i was trying to do a chuckle a la Finbarr.
every day is indeed a school day
right, back to my food

'gruk gurk gurk gurgle'
smacks lips
 (I helped save b3ta! unclepills, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 15:16, , Reply)
This is a normal post You're sucking cocks again aren't you.

(I helped save b3ta! sm.pl.crt.rs I don't fucking know, do I?, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 15:19, , Reply)
This is a normal post trying not to
Draco says it's like trying to keep a volleyball underwater
 (I helped save b3ta! unclepills, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 15:28, , Reply)
This is a normal post It's true.
In both cases fishnets are required.
 (I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 15:32, , Reply)
This is a normal post
Ooh, Mr Gimlett.
 (I helped save b3ta! unclepills, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 15:44, , Reply)
This is a normal post Confirmed (nsfw)
youtu.be/VCcwWPbhmCo?t=3m4s
 (I helped save b3ta! Fadgebadger (1 like), Tue 24 Apr 2018, 18:45, , Reply)
This is a normal post I love animals but I hate peta

(I helped save b3ta! presferatu, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 10:37, , Reply)
This is a normal post ^This
Shower of cunts.
 (Huw Edwards #notalljews, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 10:47, , Reply)
This is a normal post I bet you plagiarise the work of Sulawesi macaques.
You monster.
 (I helped save b3ta! Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 11:06, , Reply)
This is a normal post Ha! If the monkey had setup the tripod, set the aperture and the iso, then yeah, I'd say it was his work.
There's a good podcast about that
https://www.thisamericanlife.org/631/so-a-monkey-and-a-horse-walk-into-a-bar
 (I helped save b3ta! presferatu, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 11:54, , Reply)
This is a normal post why did the chicken cross the road?
because it was embedded in the front of a car
 (I helped save b3ta! fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 10:50, , Reply)
This is a normal post but why did the car cross the road?

(horrid, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 11:04, , Reply)
This is a normal post because it was stuck under the lorry

(I helped save b3ta! fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 11:32, , Reply)
This is a normal post Cocks

(I helped save b3ta! TownsendsPublisher is all gravy baby, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 10:58, , Reply)
This is a normal post Nope - if you look closely they're definitely chickens

(I helped save b3ta! tarka_dall Like normal dall, only a bit more spicy, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 11:15, , Reply)
This is a link post Sir Anthony Hopkins has gone mental.
Spectacular.
(Jimbotfu Bummed in the gob again, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 7:39, , Reply)
This is a normal post I’ve never got motion sickness from a video before
So at least it was different.
 (I helped save b3ta! wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 7:57, , Reply)
This is a normal post chicken oriental

(I helped save b3ta! Turboesprit Volume knob, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 17:11, , Reply)
This is a normal post That was delightful!
I hope he's all right
 (I helped save b3ta! thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Wed 25 Apr 2018, 12:26, , Reply)
This is a link post Nice jizz on that bird

(swank, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 7:03, , Reply)
This is a link post Drugs find in Nintendo cartridge by retro-game collector/youtuber
Skip to 9:30

Gamer bought some cartridges from a flea-market, turns out they contained heroin.

I was skeptical, but the story checks out, it was reported in NY Post and there's recordings of the call/police visit. All that stuff is detailed in the description.
(SockCooker ПТН ПНХ, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 6:45, , Reply)
This is a normal post Gak & Field

(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 7:09, , Reply)
This is a normal post "Strange, vacuum packed, packages..."
"Here's a fabulous idea, let's pop them open with an exacto knife!"

The great human mind in action.
 (Huw Edwards #notalljews, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 7:40, , Reply)
This is a normal post I know, right?
Wouldn't you just stop dead, and call the cops? That's one of the reasons I thought it must be fake, but there's pretty good evidence that it isn't. I guess it's a YouTuber mentality. But are we to blame for watching stuff like this?
 (SockCooker ПТН ПНХ, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 7:57, , Reply)
This is a normal post Well aren't you teacher's pet? You probably call old bill once a week.

(I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 8:40, , Reply)
This is a normal post I would defo open it.
What If the were blocks of lovely pure pressed pollen from the parvati valley?
Feel a bit foolish calling the police then.

*sigh*

I miss being able to smoke illegal things.
 (I helped save b3ta! Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 8:52, , Reply)
This is a normal post Who wouldn't open it? I'd happily take up smoking again for a variety of contraband. It's been 230 days.
WTF is it with everyone phoning the police all the time? They'd never turn up if you got burgled, just flush it if you don't want it.
 (I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 9:14, , Reply)
This is a normal post I think it gets better once you've stopped counting days...
Having given up booze* (24 days) and a major antidepressant (32 days).

*hopefully temporary
 (I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Tue 24 Apr 2018, 12:52, , Reply)
This is a normal post Problem with booze isn't booze, it's getting shitfaced. I've always enjoyed getting shitfaced. That's the problem.

(I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 16:48, , Reply)
This is a normal post It's a very different colour from any skag I've ever seen.

(I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 8:45, , Reply)
This is a normal post Most heroin isn't cut to within an inch of its life prior to being smuggled.
That's usually something that happens at the very end of the supply chain.
 (Huw Edwards #notalljews, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 13:20, , Reply)
This is a normal post I don't know what that was, but there is a reason they call heroin 'brown'.
It's because it's brown. Even the shit you can get for £10 a bag. And when I say a bag, I mean screwed up inside a baby Rizla then wrapped in a tiny bit of cling film, delivered to you by a kid on a bike.
 (I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 14:24, , Reply)
This is a normal post Would the people that call heroin 'Brown' also be the people at the end of said supply chain?
Diamorphine Hydrochloride in pure form is white. It's the bulking agents that turn it brown.
 (Huw Edwards #notalljews, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 14:42, , Reply)
This is a normal post Pharmaceutical grade opiates may well be pristine and white, the stuff made in a shed in Helmand is not, even before it's cut to shit, just take my word for it.
Now piss off Gordon Ramsey, I want a cup of tea.
 (I helped save b3ta! Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 15:14, , Reply)
This is a normal post Depends where from
It starts off brown, some places purify it, for the injection market. White is mostly from SE Asia.
 (SockCooker ПТН ПНХ, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 15:22, , Reply)
This is a link post Right Click
quite a bit of content in a one panel comic, in case you missed it
 (I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 2:35, , Reply)
This is a normal post ...
xkcd.com/1974/
 (I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 3:17, , Reply)
This is a normal post ~~~
rock
 (I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 6:23, , Reply)
This is a normal post Ha
Ace
 (I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 9:12, , Reply)
This is a link post Password: slidded NSFW I made this!
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
A piece in collaboration with Anonymous
When the 40 year old children go out to play with their shit.
America really has issues these days with regards to that.
(PokeyMongo Butt weight a moment, there’s more..., Tue 24 Apr 2018, 1:55, , Reply)
This is a normal post Edgy.

(Huw Edwards #notalljews, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 6:30, , Reply)
This is a normal post Which bit?
Ah, you must mean using flash these days...
 (I helped save b3ta! My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 14:05, , Reply)
This is a normal post Made on an iPad

(PokeyMongo Butt weight a moment, there’s more..., Wed 25 Apr 2018, 1:08, , Reply)
This is a link post double poste? Faire rein, pour moi
Jacques Du Tronc - and if Monkeon digs him, and Anton Newcombe digs him, *you* should dig him too.
(I helped save b3ta! The Ann Coulter Fan Club Babylon is burning at, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 0:07, , Reply)
This is a normal post This French pop YouTube hole has just thrown up
a slightly problematic Etienne Daho video:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KtNErgupNM
 (I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 0:19, , Reply)
This is a normal post weird - i got this:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkaJ5z9QBZQ
 (I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 0:21, , Reply)
This is a normal post Stereolab lyrics are always fun to read.
They are usually unintelligible when sung, but not your standard pop fare. Especially their Blue Jam inspired one.

"You're not a doctor, you're a wanker"
 (I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 0:36, , Reply)
This is a normal post haha - awesome

(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 0:38, , Reply)
This is a normal post problematic is right
I sat through (ok ffwd) through loads of dull 80s synth pop waiting for semi-naked filles and was disappoint.
 (I helped save b3ta! The Ann Coulter Fan Club Babylon is burning at, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 0:29, , Reply)
This is a normal post Haha. The bone in the afro.

(I helped save b3ta! cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 1:41, , Reply)
This is a normal post
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNdfNUXNmV8
 (I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 0:20, , Reply)
This is a normal post So much French delight tonight.
n'arrête pas!
 (I helped save b3ta! Mex3 =mememe, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 0:28, , Reply)
This is a normal post pour vous
allez! hop! Hop!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVtzQHaLmUM&index=35&list=RDQMJXtY_E9xsJA
Vous aimez regardez les filles? Eventuellement, oui?
 (I helped save b3ta! The Ann Coulter Fan Club Babylon is burning at, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 0:45, , Reply)
This is a normal post Regularly throw in a bit of du tronc in my dj sets
Great stuff !
 (I helped save b3ta! amoebaboy chose for death by unga bunga on, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 0:50, , Reply)
This is a link post La France Etrange
pop pours les gens!
(I helped save b3ta! The Ann Coulter Fan Club Babylon is burning at, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 0:00, , Reply)
This is a link post Have a bit of
Bardot/Gainsbourg weirdness.
(I helped save b3ta! Mex3 =mememe, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 22:57, , Reply)
This is a normal post I discovered
this one the other day. Swigging straight from the bottle.
 (I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 23:23, , Reply)
This is a normal post Jacques du tronc is close to god
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QN2Jcor60A
 (I helped save b3ta! The Ann Coulter Fan Club Babylon is burning at, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 0:05, , Reply)
This is a normal post Never heard that, good stuff!

(I helped save b3ta! Mex3 =mememe, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 0:17, , Reply)
This is a normal post I'll see your Bardot/Gainsbourg weirdness and raise you....
youtu.be/S6nSpBiekzQ
 (Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 23:48, , Reply)
This is a normal post I saw them live (mid 80's sometime) fantastic live band

(I helped save b3ta! Mex3 =mememe, Tue 24 Apr 2018, 0:25, , Reply)
This is a normal post ou, j'aime le weirdness francais
est'ce que mardi etrange de france?
 (I helped save b3ta! The Ann Coulter Fan Club Babylon is burning at, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 23:59, , Reply)
This is a link post More breaking news
pfft
 (stubhuman, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 22:33, , Reply)

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