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bored of that
what's your fave building?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 19:21, archived)
the world trade center was smashing

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 19:23, archived)
piss off

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 19:32, archived)
I like it when you're angry.
It's cute.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 19:39, archived)
Baldmonkey Towers, Porstmuff, Engerland.
It's the home of civility, culture and in no way, shape or form being a fat ballbag.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 19:27, archived)
TRIFLE!!!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 19:28, archived)
I'm looking forward to the Warsaw Spire

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 19:28, archived)
A house is a machine for living in

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 19:34, archived)
machines can be fantastic things

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 20:56, archived)
dawwww
^___^
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 21:04, archived)
For the interior either Guggenheim, New York
or the British Museum's Great Court.

Exterior i'll have to get back to you
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 19:39, archived)
bored of that
what shall I have for dinner?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 19:20, archived)
TRIFLE!!!!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 19:34, archived)
If someone wanted me to make a savory triffle, I'd just make them a shepherd's pie.
Therefore, the oppersite of triffle is shepherd's pie.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 19:45, archived)
I think my yearly soul-destroying post is due.
Is everyone revising for their SATs?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 19:18, archived)
No, I'm 42.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 19:26, archived)
Better late then never.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 19:38, archived)
go shove a soul up your cockend and shit out SATs

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 19:27, archived)
bored of that now
I quite like breasts
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:35, archived)
"You're"
"Reading this" in "Andy Parson's" "annoying" nasal "twang"

the bald "cunt"
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:37, archived)
lol I don't know who he is

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:37, archived)
does he speak with a rising inflection?
like australian people do? so every sentence sounds like a question? and it's really annoying? my cousin does that? I'm glad I don't?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:39, archived)
Geordies also do this, and constantly sound surprised.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:40, archived)
not as much as australians?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:41, archived)
great scott! you're right.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:42, archived)
Ah hiv an orstralian physiotherepisst?
Sit up straight? Ok? I'm gonna manipyurlayte yer spoine?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:42, archived)
hiv, i'm not surprised, all that cottaging i suppose

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:50, archived)
him
www.andyparsons.co.uk/clips/
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:41, archived)
I can't be bothered clicking that?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:42, archived)
That moustache makes him look like he's just rimmed someone.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 18:36, archived)
perhaps you could just list the sizes of everything you've ever stood next to or a long way away from and the approximate distance you were from them at the time

that'd be a big help
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:37, archived)
I'm about 3 feet away from a parrot

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:38, archived)
does it have tits?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:40, archived)
no, it's a boy?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:40, archived)
gay

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:46, archived)
thanks Frank, good to know.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:38, archived)
you could always start another thread? if you're bored of this one?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:41, archived)
I'm not allowed. forgot to pay my subs
sadtimes :'(
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:42, archived)
sod you then?
I might go and buy some capacitors online?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:43, archived)
flux capacitors?
GREAT SCOTT!!
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:46, archived)
carry on cabbing is on film 4, good film

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:58, archived)
a women kissed me on the cheek last night, apparently raising your hand and saying help i need an adult is not funny, i got told

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:38, archived)
well that's nice?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:42, archived)
it surprises me i'm still single?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:45, archived)
What's your favourite breast shape?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 18:10, archived)
Round.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 18:14, archived)
perfectly round, like fake ones?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 18:22, archived)
fruit scones

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 18:29, archived)
Tubular

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 18:35, archived)
That's your favourite bell end shape

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 18:41, archived)
alright cabbages
i also like breasts
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 19:10, archived)
But do you "quite" like breasts?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 19:14, archived)
I'm frightfully sorry, I don't understand

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 19:22, archived)
Denial
is the first sign of gaydom.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 19:23, archived)
I went on a media training day the other week....
As part of a presentation there was a bit about the language and knowledge level used in newspaper articles.

Apparently the Daily Mail writes for a 8 year old audience and the FT a 12 year old audience. I can't remember any of the other stats, but it was a bit of an eye opener.

Does anyone know if this is true, or ideally where I cant find some evidence of this online.

Mainly so I can taunt people who read the Daily Mail but it might be interesting to others.

The guy who told me was a BBC journo so he might be bullshitting to sully their reputation (as if they need it!)

Cheers-ears!! ;-)
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:46, archived)
They both sound a bit too advanced for /talk.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:54, archived)
There are all sorts of methods used to calculate "reading age"
and they are all used to discredit the intellect of a rival publication, author and especially politician. Flesch–Kincaid is the most famous example, and measures average syllables per word.

It's true that newspapers write to their audience, but it's not specifically designed to an 8- or 12-year-old or any other arbitrarily-chosen level. FT is written to get maximum info as quickly as possible with no fluff material, whereas the Sun is the complete opposite; maximum bullshit from zero original story.

I'd love to tell you more, but I'm even boring myself. I've got qualifications in this shit.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:55, archived)
whoa, i might have to redo tl;dr the summer blockbuster

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:25, archived)
good stuff!
thanks for replying, i'll have a look into Wotsit-Doodah

and continue to taunt Daily Mail readers with the traditional "look theres a foreign peado taking your job and/or child!"
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 18:10, archived)
ooh! i found a Flesch Kincaid tool!
b3ta talk should be easily understood by 9-10 year olds, take that daily mail!! ;-)

www.read-able.com/check.php?uri=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.b3ta.com%2Ftalk%2F
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 18:17, archived)
sorry i don't follow

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:01, archived)
It's the difference between
"ere, you wanna go to the boozer or summink," and "I'm parched Johnno, do you fancy nipping down to the Flint and Whistle for two pints of their finest?"
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:02, archived)
One's a cunt and the other's a cunt that'll stab you?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:12, archived)
sorry, what?
could somebody put this in terms i might care about please?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:26, archived)
/talker in patronising shite shock.
And finally Cyril?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:03, archived)
I can haz cheezeburger?
LOL!
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:09, archived)
lulz

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:23, archived)
When I was in college we had a guest tutor who told us that The Sun was written for the reading age of an eight year old.
Also privately she told a small group of us that she and some of the other journos would usually get together and write all the horoscopes the night before.

r i o
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:15, archived)
I've heard the 8 year old thing before too.
I've also heard that Sun journos are amongst the higher paid because it's a lot harder to explain things to simpletons than clevers.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:33, archived)
I've heard about the horoscopes thing
but.... its all made up, so someone-somewhere is just making some shit up, maybe even the day before.

or do they throw runes in the air & spit on them like in that kevin costner robin hood remake, that would be more entertaining.

"the painted main, he haunts my dreams!" and so on
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 18:24, archived)
Peter and Jane Go On A Media Training Course
Peter and Jane are on a media training course.
See Peter taking notes. See Jane making herself a cup of coffee at the refreshment area.
Can you see the screen? Peter can see the screen. Jane can't see the screen, someone is sat in front of her.
See the presenter. The presenter is talking. Soon it will be time for a break. Everyone can check their phones at break because they have important jobs.
Now Peter and Jane are taking part in a group exercise. It is rubbish.
See the flipchart fall over. See the group fail to bond. See Peter, he is having to write on the pad because he was not quick enough to avoid it.
Spot the Dog is under the table. He has eaten all the complimentary mints and is feeling a bit ill.
Peter and Jane are bored. See Peter and Jane yawning. Now it's time for another presentation. Where is the remote control? Can you see the remote control? Spot the dog is looking guilty. Why are the slides changing? A strange noise is coming from under the table. See Spot the Dog being sick.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:21, archived)
what happens next?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:32, archived)

Spot the Dog has handed in his course evaluation form. See the facilitator reading the form. It is a bit damp because of the sick. What has Spot the Dog said about the course? Look, he has scored it at satisfactory for everything.
Has Spot the Dog added any other comments? He has.
See what Spot the Dog has said. He has said, 'I liked the free mints but there were not enough of them.'
Spot the Dog has a good reading age for a dog.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:37, archived)
meh, i dont like shaggy dog stories, got and cat ones?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:39, archived)
:(((
that's enough now time to go to sleep, I'll make something up about cats on media training courses for tomorrow bed time
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:42, archived)
What's the most disgusting thing you've ever seen a girl do?
I had a girlfriend once who took over her bra, hoisted her floppy tits up with one arm and scratched underneath them with the other because it was all eczemarred under there. That was just after we'd moved in together. Then I dumped her.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:37, archived)
Oh shit I've clicked into QOTW by mistake.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:38, archived)
*deletes browsing history*

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 19:15, archived)
Girls should let a chap know BEFORE they move in together if they are going to do something like getting eczema on their tit-undersides.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:39, archived)
A girl I know once admitted that not only did she bathe just 2-3 times a week
When she was on the rag she wouldn't bother changing her pants for days. Surely you change them MORE often, right? I dunno. Any girls here to confirm this?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:40, archived)
And she has bad teeth
Bad teeth are one of the few unattractive features that I really couldn't live with.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:41, archived)
i have bad teeth :(

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:44, archived)
Oh
awkward
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:45, archived)
Shame,
sounds like you'd have been well in there otherwise.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:46, archived)
Apart from the teeth thing, I have extremely low standards

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:50, archived)
*smooths back hair*
well hello!
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:52, archived)
Get me a deep fried kebab and 4 tins of McEwans and you're on mister.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:52, archived)
that's handy, every shop around here serves this!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:53, archived)
are you cockblocking me? aren't all the scotch obese and notorious for their bad teeth?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:58, archived)
I'm half wop though.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:00, archived)
anch'io! cerchiamo di essere amici

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:02, archived)
alora, ti amo benne sempre.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:03, archived)
tenere a me, facciamo questo bel momento

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:06, archived)
I don't speak wop, soz.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:08, archived)
i asked you to hold me and make this moment beautiful

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:11, archived)
such a romantic language!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:12, archived)
we'd make a lovely couple, but i used to smoke and i drink too much tea so my teeth are permanently yellow

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:51, archived)
I've heard stories of women
who developed toxic shock syndrome through leaving tampons in too long. Sometimes it was because of the high absorbancy material holding too much blood for too long so it became bacterial. Sometimes it was just mingers forgetting a tampon was still in there.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:54, archived)
my girlfriend farts like god knows what and told me that her poo this morning looked like the chilli i had at lunch
: and indeed (
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:44, archived)
I've seen a lassie vom piss and shit herself at the same time.
some girls can't hold their drink at all.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:44, archived)
That reminds me, how is your Mum?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:45, archived)
LOL!
you cad.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:46, archived)
*winks*

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:51, archived)
*finger guns*

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:52, archived)
And I bet you paid good money to see it, too.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:46, archived)
nah, rohypnol means I don't ever need to pay.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:48, archived)
Apart from for the rohypnol, obviously.
Speaking of which, I've a new batch in. Gaz me when you've put the money in my account and I'll send it right over.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:08, archived)
YES! *fist pumps*

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:10, archived)
I saw two lasses eat a cup of shit

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:45, archived)
Hahaha

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:46, archived)
why are you in such a bad mood today?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:47, archived)

yap yap yap!
*shivers*

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:50, archived)
What sort of shit is this?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:52, archived)
jesus fucking christ,
Why do you have to embarrass me wherever I go?
Nah, love you really, bite Baldmonkeys nose off will you? Good dog.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:55, archived)
*drools*

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:56, archived)
oh herro, herro, whose a good boy
WHOSE A GOOD BOY? You are, yes you are, HERRO, WHOSE A GOOD BOY Yes you are, yes you are

you want me to rub your tummy? you want a tummy rub? Whose a GOOD BOY?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:01, archived)

*waggy tail*
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:04, archived)
at last, an account i can relate to

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:07, archived)

*gormless stare*
*pants*

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:09, archived)
you wanna go for a walk? you wanna go outside?
for a walk? you wanna go outside for a walk?

YES YOU DO, GOOD BOY, WHOSE A GOOD BOY, lets go outside for a walk
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:10, archived)

*excited trot to door*
yap yap yap!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:12, archived)
bite his ankles dog,

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:15, archived)
no, windypig
you can get up to 18 months in jail for that now
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:19, archived)
I'm not sure any court in the land will believe you were hurt by a chihuahua that only has 4 teeth.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:22, archived)
ugh its a fucken chihuahua?!
ugly ratty little shit, i hope it dies
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:24, archived)
if you knew her,
You'd love her.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:30, archived)
and it's a girl?
GAY
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:33, archived)
i fucking hate dogs, eat your own shit and die

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:30, archived)
BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID FACE
Nah, I'm fine.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:51, archived)
Other than projectile vomit redecoration of a room, nothing much.
Being a young, slim, handsome and succesful man, I only hang out with nice women. No fatties.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:46, archived)
She walked funny too.
I remember on our first date trying to figure out whether it was a physical disability or if she was a mong.
It turned out her leg was fucked subsequent to a car crash.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:55, archived)
Wow
What a find!
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:06, archived)
I bet you well disappointed to find out she wasn't chromosomally supernormal.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:10, archived)
I had trouble deciding which would be better, certainly.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:37, archived)
In my experience boys are far more disgusting than girls

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:47, archived)
I think you'll find that, in my humble opinion, that is outside the remit of the question. Just a thought.
*sne*
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:53, archived)
Strangely enough
The majority of boys I know are far more hygenic than the girls. Maybe I just know some really disgusting women.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:53, archived)
I've met your wife.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:56, archived)
She's a revolting woman

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:06, archived)
are they fuck.
girls just hide it better.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:54, archived)
I'm a boy,
And I have glitter shampoo.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:57, archived)
dear god pigster
how can a man with a handlebar moustache be so gay?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:59, archived)
i don't use it,
It's just in the bathroom cabinet.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:20, archived)
e gadd

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:03, archived)


(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:08, archived)
Depends whether we're talking personal hygiene or, um, environmental hygiene.
In terms of personal grossness, I would say most of the very worst people are probably male. But out of people I've lived with who've had GROSS bedrooms and generally had a deleterious effect on the living environment for the rest of us, by far the worst offenders have been female.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:13, archived)
Do you have eczema on your tits?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:44, archived)
My missus once served red wine with the fish course

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:33, archived)
disgusting, eating is cheating

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:38, archived)
No.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:38, archived)
she fucking did

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:43, archived)
No, I meant "You had a girlfriend?"
hahahaahah!
Nah, you're alright you are.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:45, archived)
bored of that now
actually I'm bored of this too. How short is your attention sp
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:34, archived)
QUICK, EVERYONE LOOK AT FRANK

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:36, archived)
I'm really sorry I said your forum wasn't very good Frank
Please don't be upset.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:42, archived)
Is there anything you're not bored by?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:38, archived)
Ritalin

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:39, archived)
There wasn't a rubiks cube in sainsurys or asda
I suggest you don't even bother looking.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:41, archived)
Haha...you fucking LOSER!
*L shapes*
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:42, archived)
L U x' R2 B U x

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:44, archived)
you could say he is a RUBE

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:44, archived)
Where is baldmonkey?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-18073459
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:31, archived)
It's definitely his MO
Will his thievery never end??
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:37, archived)
nevermind that
what about Kenny Dalglish?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:42, archived)
Kenny DalgLEAF more like!!!!!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:44, archived)
yes, exactly

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:44, archived)
EGGS-SPACKLY more like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:46, archived)
i like eggs

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:48, archived)
more egg based lies
on the internet
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:48, archived)
EGGternet more like!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:04, archived)
POOR like more like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:07, archived)
The study of eggs is called Oology

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:10, archived)
It should be called Waste-of-fucking-time-ology.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:22, archived)
I don't think that's a good idea

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:25, archived)
Dude. You got two posts on the popular page today. You're DOUBLE-popular.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:55, archived)
Gracious
The Alphabites thing is true. I have a photo of it and everything.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:57, archived)
No, that's something you say at funerals.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:01, archived)
What would you say at the funeral of an egg enthusiast?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:05, archived)
Oh well, you can't make an omelette ...

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:10, archived)
"Lol, dead egg cunt"
or something similar, probably.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:14, archived)
Yes, it will probably be something like that

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:20, archived)
but it all depends on the size of the gat

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:22, archived)
EGGY CUP
EGGY CUP
EGGY CUP
EGGY CUP
EGGY CUP
EGGY CUP
EGGY CUP
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:25, archived)
Loggins > Dalglish

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:54, archived)
Are you a spastic or something?
My local ASDA has LOADS in. So does the TESCO.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:43, archived)
:'(
Maybe Tesco on the way home.
Like the biggest tesco ever they should have one.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:44, archived)
He wasn't looking in the toy section
He wandered around Home & Leisure, like a gout-ridden prick
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:44, archived)
Yeah. And bought a whole fuckload of pheasant and port and shit like that instead.
But it was really a chair. Because he is a spastic.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:46, archived)
Jesus Christ
Mono is so fucking stupid
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:47, archived)
his bumhole is the best thing he has going for him really

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:48, archived)
I hear you can only escape it if you solve a simple cube based puzzle

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:52, archived)
that's why cwotfoo is still there

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:04, archived)
i miss woocoft

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:28, archived)
"I went to the toy section but they only had ones with each side all one colour"
"I wanted the ones where all the squares are mixed up".
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:44, archived)
hahaha
I love you.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:46, archived)
i can fold my nose flat against my face with my finger and then keep it there by curling my top lip up.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:48, archived)
Prove it

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:49, archived)
okay:
ADAM IS A FUCKING PRICK. SOMEONE SHOULD GO TO HIS HOME AND KICK ALL HIS TEETH OUT.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:50, archived)
Wow.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:56, archived)
i told my gf i was going to do this to her as i want a gumjob

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:58, archived)
How did she respond to this romantic gesture?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:19, archived)
Dunno. Couldn't understand a word she was saying.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:20, archived)
she didn't seem happy, and suggested her mother as she only has half her teeth left

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:36, archived)
I imagine you look a bit like this when you are doing it
3.bp.blogspot.com/_7niSCkONG5c/SJrkFe-htCI/AAAAAAAAAyU/zPsvQ5deEbU/s400/blobfish.jpg
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:50, archived)
Terrible bullying of the LOVELY janet.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:52, archived)
IMMA COME ROUND YOUR HOUSE AND STAB YOU IN THE KIDNEY.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:23, archived)
I can control each eyebrow independantly, can I can curl up the (my) left corner of my top lip like elvis.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:59, archived)
Good work. More of this sort of thing. Huzzah for GONZ!
Lo, he saveth the internet.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:01, archived)
I can make it look like I'm able to detach one of my thumbs and slide it along my hand

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:03, archived)
so what i can curl my tongue

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:05, archived)
BULLSHIT
Nah, I believe you. None of these things are hard to do if you're a normal human being.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:06, archived)
at the weekend i wiggled my forehead so it looked like i was wearing a wig

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:10, archived)
Lovely stuff

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:15, archived)
when i chew gum my temples throb like that tom cruise in the diner scene after goose dies in Top Gun

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:20, archived)
Well I don't know what a 'Top Gun' is, but it sounds wonderful
Keep up the good work
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:20, archived)
sometimes i get lonely at night

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:23, archived)
Ah, well I can understand that
It's dark...quiet...sometimes cold.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:25, archived)
i don't like rubiks cubes and have never completed one

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:57, archived)
I hadn't really touched one until last weekend.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:59, archived)
REALLY??
OMG where have you been since the 80s? under a rock or dead or something?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:00, archived)
Both

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:04, archived)
i am very sorry for your loss

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:05, archived)
Get one online, shirley?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:02, archived)
Won't come until another time.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:04, archived)
Fuck off.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:07, archived)
Are you trying to insult someone who is trying to pursue a silly hobby for children?
Shame on you.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:11, archived)
GOOD ONE BADGER!
Hey! Has anyone said anything on QOTW that was surprisingly low in standard today?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:16, archived)
not today, but
b3ta.com/questions/randomactsofevil/post1534874
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:25, archived)
I like the replies on QOTW better than the posts these days.
I like it when someone says something flippant and some prick comes along all know-it-allish and tells them the facts of the matter.
All like "I'm an expert on everything, actually, and I think you'll find..."
And then they sit back in their sweaty reinforced chair all pleased with themselves.
And fat.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:29, archived)
yes

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:30, archived)
This reply caught my eye today:
b3ta.com/questions/shopsandsupermarkets/post1614961

I mean, judging from her expert knowledge of EVERY illiterate person ever and her apparent Ph.D. level degree in Criminology, you'd never guess she's a fat, phone monkey who's so stupid she can't eat without either cramming everything in the fridge into her face or shoving her fingers down her throat if she so much as thinks about eating a wafer.

But at least she set that guy straight. Before having a child by a man she claims she can't stand and then breaking a garden chair by sitting on it.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:38, archived)
there's a lot of backstory there BM
do you know this woman intimately?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:40, archived)
Nah.
S'badger's second hand wife, innit.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:41, archived)
phwoar etc

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:42, archived)
as i cant qftw i guessed who you was talking about, 10 points to me

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:42, archived)
Meaning I score 10 points for a Good Description.
Do you remember when she used to say "Oh Gods!" all the time in the hope someone would ask and she'd get to tell them she was a pagan and didn't believe in just one god?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:44, archived)
she sounds lovely, dibs when she splits from AB

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:47, archived)
She wears an awful lot of make up.
Fat birds often do, don't they. That and dying their hair bright colours and that.
You'd think they'd have the decency to try not to be noticed, not keep drawing attention to their fucking appalling faces.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:48, archived)
oh i know what you mean
there was a girl on the highstreet with about 4 layers of gunt the other day, caked in make up

and this other girl, ellie who seems to be completely unaware she's morbidly obese, so she cakes herself in foundation and thinks she's a pole dancer
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:53, archived)
She actually thinks she's a pole dancer?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:55, archived)
she does pole dancing lessons, god knows how

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:10, archived)
Christ

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:23, archived)
Yes.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:13, archived)
have you given up on bullying michael gove now?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:04, archived)
Yeah.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:13, archived)
You should probably try not to worry about it

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:44, archived)
Yeah. Soz.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:45, archived)
you're such a cunt but you do make laugh
clickety click
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:02, archived)
Not at all, I'm saying getting things online is usually better than looking in the shops

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:47, archived)
Why don't you just die, you fucking board ruining prick.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:49, archived)
3/10 needs more footstamping

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:00, archived)
You'll probably end up with a cheap chinese replica with an unintelligible instruction manual.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:14, archived)
why would you need instructions on a rubiks cube?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:33, archived)
I'm doing a racist voice and saying "turny cube turn" now.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:39, archived)
So you know how to use the special features.
Don't tell me you thought you're just supposed to match up the colours on it, what would be the fucking point of that?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:41, archived)
i thought it was just a toy? is it secretly like the box from hellraiser?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:54, archived)
I hate buying stuff online. Every time there's something that I really want I go on Amazon and end up reading all the 1 star reviews by stupid moany pricks.
Then I'll think it's shit and I won't want it any more.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:54, archived)
See what I mean? Who'd want a Rubik's cube after reading this lot?
www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B0006G3B68/ref=cm_cr_pr_hist_1?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&filterBy=addOneStar
Andrew Lyon is a cunt.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:56, archived)
Order one online.
You may have to modify the shape of your letterbox though.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:11, archived)
I'm pretty sure anyone over the age of 12 that plays with a rubiks cube,
Is some sort of self satisfied hipster cunt. So try waitrose.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:17, archived)
Windy Pig, I am noticing the use of the word "hipster" by more and more people recently.
It is usually used in a derogatory way like what you just done.
I do not know what a hipster is. Please tell me.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:19, archived)
Sexy trousers

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:23, archived)
Good. That's that settled.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:24, archived)
i think it is a style of jeans

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:24, archived)
Good. This is also that settled then.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:25, archived)
i don't know much about it, i had to ask a women wtf jeggings were, wish i hadnt bothered

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:31, archived)
keith jeggings, used to play pop, I think that's it

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:38, archived)
if only, but trust me you dont want the truth

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:39, archived)
Jew leggings?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:51, archived)
I know the truth
not sure I can handle it though
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:00, archived)
My favourite was 'Jeggings goes to school'.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:43, archived)
I'm going to go right ahead and decide there's no such thing as jeggings.
It sounds awfully like something a prick would say/own. And I'm happier in this world where things like jeggings don't exist.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:47, archived)

So was I :(
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:52, archived)
I think they're like jeans for fat people, you should get some balders to go under your muumuu

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:04, archived)
It's another word for muslim
WP is a notorious bigot, you know that
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:25, archived)
Muslims are horribly racist to pigs though.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:45, archived)
it is a style of trouser,
But the word can also be used to describe people like this Dick head. cl.jroo.me/z3/V/M/n/a/a.aaa.jpg
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:29, archived)
she's alright, i still would

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:29, archived)
I think I see.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:30, archived)
why did noit leave?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:33, archived)
typing on here cut into his wanking time

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:39, archived)
i multi task, I'm wanking as i type this

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:45, archived)
Dunno.
I wouldn't mind a go on Esme. I reckon she'd be fucking mental in bed.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:40, archived)
Good heavens

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:33, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=VerPuTt3mi0
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:38, archived)
i can't do you tube at work.
and i'll forget by the time i get home
what is it?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:42, archived)
I don't know how you sleep at night, I really don't

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:20, archived)
I don't.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:05, archived)
maybe not in the non-members sections

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:25, archived)
I heard in the member's only section, the milk cartons are dripping with only the finest jersey gold top

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:41, archived)
you could always make one.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:01, archived)
Good advice, as usual

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:04, archived)
he'll ignore it, or be mean.
he's a real nasty peice of work that MONO!
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:08, archived)
He is terribly rude
When he finally gets off his fat arse and comes round, I'm going to push him down Baldmonkey's stairs.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:25, archived)
I don't want his stupid fat head smeared on my carpet.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:30, archived)
Nevertheless, these are my intentions

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:36, archived)
bored of that now
so yeah, this one time I stood next to like a REALLY big building, what's the biggest thing that you've stood next to? what's the smallest thing you've stood a long way away from?

alt: what's the most medium-sized thing you've stood fairly close to but not like close enough to touch it, maybe a couple of steps away like?

pricks
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:04, archived)
prick.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:08, archived)
i got 23 across wrong

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:09, archived)
your mum got your face wrong

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:10, archived)
your egg got your leg wrong

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:11, archived)
I dun a fart
LOL!
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:12, archived)
I can't do farts in the office, they're a bit bad these days
I may have fartcancer or something
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:13, archived)
Fuck off.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:16, archived)
no, you're just a smelly prick.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:18, archived)
*smells self*
:(
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:22, archived)
I went to the World Trade Centre once
Apparently it's not there anymore. That was pretty big.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:20, archived)
where did they move it to?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:21, archived)
Dubai

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:30, archived)
I thought it looked perfectly nice where it was
Bloody Americans
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:31, archived)
I heard they were rebuilding them
But this time putting it all into one huge building instead of two.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:36, archived)
FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, MANOLITH, IS THERE NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT THIS TEDIOUS FUCKING BELL END?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:41, archived)
One on top of the other
It'll be bigger than 100 elephants in 4 Wembley Stadiums...on the moon!
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:41, archived)
your mum teehee

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:27, archived)
perhaps you could just list the sizes of everything you've ever stood next to or a long way away from and the approximate distance you were from it at the time
that'd be a big help
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:34, archived)
I don't do much standing.
I can't stand it.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:42, archived)
I'd show you the view from my office
but you called me a prick, so I shan't. Nyer.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:43, archived)
I do like a chicken tikka slice.
What do you like for lunch?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:03, archived)
tell you what I don't like for lunch, jews!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:05, archived)
But then we'd have no bagels or saltbeef

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:06, archived)
i had carbonara.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:07, archived)
Stop being a fat ballbag and eat proper food

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:21, archived)
Bombay Bad Boy. Shaken, not stirred.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:28, archived)
Soz gilgy.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:46, archived)
Why can't you be better?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:50, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7498496
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:52, archived)
Because I am psychic and I'm getting inundated with messages from every single one of your ancestors. All the same; "Go kill yourself."
Better not anger the dead, guy. Go on. Go kill yourself.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:53, archived)
Will you have another mental like Spesh says?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:02, archived)
Christ. Do you ever stop flouncing?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:05, archived)
how many times have you spacked out and had your account closed?
Because it's infinitely more than balders has.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:06, archived)
A fair few, doesn't detract from my previous question
Sit down and let the mental speak, dear.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:09, archived)
Dude. He's trying to help you.
Stop flouncing at him.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:10, archived)
Calm down, fella. Everything's going to be fine, no need to wobble

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:12, archived)
Oh my.
Look, if you are this upset online already, you should probably go ahead and kill yourself.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:14, archived)

i.imgur.com/F3Vxp.gif
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:26, archived)

tinyurl.com/6vlhzbe
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:36, archived)
i like both these gifs!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:41, archived)
Outstanding

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:58, archived)
Yeah, but how many times should BM have had his account closed?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:02, archived)
you ever tried one of them cadbury trifles witht eh chocolate, cream and cake bits these used to sell in 3s?
they're alright
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:51, archived)
Thing is, if I want a trifle, I want a proper trifle.
And if I want chocolate I want a bar of cadbury dairy milk.
So I just ain't never bought them. I mean, if someone bought me one, I'd eat it and probably enjoy it. But they ain't so I ain't.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:55, archived)
shit happens

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:55, archived)
i have to be in the right mood for jelly, whereas you can have chocolate every day

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:55, archived)
Jaffa Cakes and squirty cream
Instant trifle.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:17, archived)
FUCK OFF

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:18, archived)
Don't knock it until we're tried it, mmps.
It might be really nice. I mean, clearly it won't. It's a shit idea. But it might not be. Although it clearly is. A really really fucking shit idea from a total cock-font.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:20, archived)
I hope this prick fucking chokes on his shit trifle.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:24, archived)
When I choke
My vom will be aimed without precision at your prison shoes.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:27, archived)

i.imgur.com/SfWLs.gif
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:29, archived)
yeah, fuck off and suck adam's cock you pointless fail.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:30, archived)
Alright, Friz/Bou/MW/me/Scott Mills.
Nice idea. I'll give it a whirl some time.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:19, archived)
Poppycock

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:20, archived)
I made a poppycock once by stuffing bubblewrap under my foreskin.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:22, archived)
Fuck

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:22, archived)
Yes I did.
It was like fireworks night.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:25, archived)

tinyurl.com/7glqusm
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:34, archived)
that's a lovely name.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:48, archived)
Shucks, thanks
It was my uncle's.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 12:08, archived)
Hmm. Not a bad idea. Maybe you're not entirely shit, new person/old person with new account

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:35, archived)
BETSY?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:48, archived)
Motsy > Betsy.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:48, archived)
so how come you're back then?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:49, archived)
i'm not.
mehhh. ennui and a hankering?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:04, archived)
I like fruit cocktail trifle.
that's a fact!
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:55, archived)
shove it up your cockend and shit out a grape

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:56, archived)
Calm down with the negativity, fella.
You'll ruin it for everyone.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:57, archived)
only if you eat it.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:58, archived)
i was hoping he or someone would post a strikethrough saying you like cock
i didn't come here for this
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:59, archived)

was hoping he or someone would post a strikethrough saying you
didn't
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:00, archived)
Haha, YES
I'm GLAD you didn't kill yourself
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:01, archived)
you bounder

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:02, archived)
I flipped shit on its head, y'all.
Because I am VERY good at the internet.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:06, archived)
you're a model poster

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:07, archived)
it's a fucking disgrace
if we had a proper mod this wouldn't happen.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:01, archived)
this place is definitely much shitter as a direct result of everything so-called "mod" manolith has ever done.
If he has a shred of decency left in him, he will suicide bomb himself while hugging "Adam".
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:04, archived)

h t
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:06, archived)
You utter bastard

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:13, archived)
but i've never done anything!
HAHAHA
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:15, archived)
That's not true.
I saw you sitting down at a bash once. You fucking bastard.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:17, archived)
i remember that bash
i sat down and stood up at that one. actually, i leaned on a wall as well!
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:19, archived)
And people wonder why this board is going to shit.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:21, archived)
No they don't

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:22, archived)
I am struggling to keep my eyes open.
talk is not helping
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:22, archived)
zzzzzzzzz

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:24, archived)
also, i remember at a different bash, you drew on some grapes
that was actually pretty funny
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:40, archived)
I don't remember that.
Are you sure it wasn't shitson broke?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:47, archived)
nope, definitely you
it was a chb's. they were still on the vine and you drew faces on them
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:51, archived)
Wow.
I'm a very witty guy.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:57, archived)
I hope grapes is being used as a euphemism for haemorrhoids here

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:51, archived)
BASH

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:59, archived)
everyone sucks.
we came to winchester to be closer for everyone and everyone sucked.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:34, archived)
Tinned fruit cocktail is a mystery, all those weird gristly bits of stuff where you can't figure out which fruit it's supposed to be
and peeled grapes, which are just plain wrong. Oh, and those pretend cherries.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:05, archived)
YEs.
i agree
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:13, archived)
Fuck 'im, he's northern, he's used to southerners being on top of him

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:02, archived)
Voyage of the Dawn French
a fat unfunny old trout gets it up the poo hole from Mister Tumnus
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:07, archived)
Avengers Assinvaders
Thor...tumnus... etc
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:12, archived)
the good, the bad and the Janet

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:17, archived)
The Grrmachinist

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:18, archived)
I might go back to bed, fuck today

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:18, archived)
Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! Mary Poppins!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:30, archived)
Leon versus Predator.
Jean Reno gets his head cut off.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:14, archived)
fucking hell, spoilers!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:15, archived)
is that going to be the name of Fast and the Furious 7?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:17, archived)
*officelol*

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:18, archived)
:D

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:19, archived)
That's 120 minutes you can use for something else, now.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:17, archived)
good will troll hunting
sean helps will unlock his potential as the greatest troll hunter in all of norway.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:18, archived)
Enter the Dragon's Den
Business tycoons get their shit fucked up by a hard-as-nails eastern gentleman, after they tell him his idea is rubbish.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:28, archived)
Lord of the Ring
Gandalf watches a video
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:32, archived)
Gonzo with the wind

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:12, archived)
The Quick And The Bedsittingroom.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:15, archived)
Captain American Pie
The army creates a genetically enhanced pie. Then they fuck it on a table.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:18, archived)
what about the nazis?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:20, archived)
Hitler hated pies
Common knowledge
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:21, archived)
black swan down
nina sayers must save a group of marines caught under fire in mogadishu. will she be able to unleash her inner black swan?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:23, archived)
battlesparticus galactica

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:27, archived)
inglorious buster
phil collins scalps some nazis.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:26, archived)
uncle buck rogers in the 25th century
can buck win the respect of wilma an twiki and will it help turn his life around?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:29, archived)
The Breakfast Fight Club
Emilio Estevez and Judd Nelson turn out to be the same person
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:31, archived)
LOL!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:35, archived)
Driving Miss Days Of Thunder.
A racist old lady sits in the back of a stock car telling Morgan Freeman how to drive it to victory. But will Morgan's attitude get him in trouble with his team. Who are also racist old ladies.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:39, archived)
The Good Charlotte, the Bad Brains and the Ugly Kid Joe.
... *shrugs* ...
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:33, archived)
the last kiss kiss bang bang
a whiney little gaybo gets caught up in a murder mystery but can he shrug off the stigma of scrubs?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:34, archived)
The Long Kiss Good Friday
Bob Hoskins shits the mafia, then when he wipes remembers that he used to be a CIA assassin
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:47, archived)
raging bullitt
jake la motta fights a car
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:37, archived)
resevoir dog soldiers
a gang attemps to rob a post office in the scottish highlands and are chased down by warewolves.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:40, archived)
wherewolves?
wearwolves?
wairwolves?
wirewools.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:50, archived)
I don't know anymore :'(

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:51, archived)
We'rewolves

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:58, archived)
jurassic south park
kenny gets eaten by a dinosaur.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:43, archived)
the ten commitments
an irish sould band breaks free from slavery.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:48, archived)
Oh brother where art thousand island dressing?
An otherwise perfect greek family party in a south american prison during the depression is ruined when the eldest son forgets to bring all the required condiments.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:52, archived)
ben hurt locker
judah must defuse a bomb in the colosseum
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:51, archived)
green lantern mile
hal jordan is sentanced to death but can his mysterious powers save him?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:54, archived)
Iron Lady
maggie dons power armour and fights an ironclad arthur scargill
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:58, archived)
Top Gear
clakson and co go to fighter pilot school but can they save the free world?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 12:00, archived)
cool runnings man
the jamaican bobsled team must survive in a brutal tv gameshow.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 12:02, archived)
Sanka, ya dead mon?
Sanka?....Sanka?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 12:06, archived)

forbiddenplanet.com/87948-assassins-creed-roleplay-gauntlet-ezio-auditore-da-firenze/
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 12:14, archived)
lets do some cosplay!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 12:22, archived)
ghostbusters
can peter venkman and the gang rid molly jensen of her troublesome spectre?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 12:17, archived)
One of our dinosaurs is psycho!
Richard Attenborough builds a giant psychiatric hospital for mentally disturbed dinosaurs but disaster ensues after the nurses forget to give a schizophrenic t-rex his daily dose of olanzapine.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 12:24, archived)
Frost Vs Predator

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 12:26, archived)
the godfather of the bride
hilarious mafia japes at a wedding.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 12:27, archived)
The King Kong's Speech

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 12:29, archived)
kramer vs kramer
dustin hoffman fights michael richards for the custody of their son.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 12:30, archived)
with madcap results!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 12:49, archived)
Godfather of the Bride

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 12:36, archived)
hey, only 11 minutes late

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 12:42, archived)
we could be brothers!!!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 12:53, archived)
Enemy of the State at the Gates

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 12:38, archived)
Master and Commander in Chief

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 12:39, archived)
Down and Out in Beverley Hills Cop
Eddie Murphy fucks a transgender tramp
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 12:51, archived)
No, that was Shrek 4

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:03, archived)
Let's ignore that prick.
Film mash up ideas?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:45, archived)
that Narnia bitch getting it up the poo hole
from Mister Tumnus
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:50, archived)
arsenic and old matrix.
Abby and Martha attempt to poison Trinity but can Neo save her?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:53, archived)
Woah! Less of the AWESOME ideas, mmps.
This is /talk. Not somewhere good.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:57, archived)
howard the duck terminator
howard must save sarah connor from the diabolical mechanical nightmare

better?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:04, archived)
Saved By The Hellboy
Zack and the gang get mixed up in some sort of inter-dimensional fracas with monsters. Mr.Belding is nearby for some reason and Screech is his assistant.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:06, archived)
flight of the avatar
can david freeman save the na'vi from destruction?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:10, archived)
saving private benjamin
can captain miller and his squad save judy from an unhappy marriage?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:14, archived)
Brilliant

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:17, archived)
XXX-Files
Vin Diesel reckons that something funny's going on, but no one believes him, so he goes looking on his own and finds out he was right. Every week.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:54, archived)
Chronicles of Quidditch
Vin Diesel goes to Hogwarts for some reason.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:55, archived)
The Fast and the Furious Case of Benjamin Button
Vin Diesel gets younger while driving cars very quickly for reasons that are no longer clear.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:58, archived)
is this porn? do you have a link for mongy?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:55, archived)
the silence of the plank
roy castle, eric sykes and jodie foster star in this eerie comedy.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:58, archived)
bored of that now
yeah, I got nothing, sorry

pricks
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:45, archived)
so much better than the last thread

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:45, archived)
There's no need to be so upset Frank
We're all friends here
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:47, archived)
the BEST of friends

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:58, archived)
I just hope he's ok Balders
I couldn't stand it if he killed himself
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:59, archived)
Help me find this website
You're all nice people, you'll help me out wont you?

I'm trying to recall a website that I'm sure was featured on b3ta before. It's run by a man who, among other things, likes to photoshop pictures of his friend by altering his mouth so it looks like he's showing his teeth. He then posts them on Facebook, which angers his friend = funny.

I can't for the life of me remember what the website is called, but it's definately on the Internet somewhere, so that's where I've been looking.

Any nuggets of help? I'll draw a picture of a smiley face as a reward for information leading to its discovery. X
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:44, archived)
that sounds shit, you are shit, fuck off

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:45, archived)
I think I know just the one you mean
NSFW
www.veronicamoser.com/
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:45, archived)

Is it this?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:45, archived)
I think it was something to do with molesting children.
so, you're a paedo then
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:46, archived)

www.kineticnorth.com/TheGutter/BenjaminBunny/Default.aspx
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:47, archived)
lololol

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:48, archived)
Gaswank?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:49, archived)
gaswank

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:50, archived)
This is fucking wonderful

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 21:12, archived)
bored of that now
you know that feeling when you are at the circus and it is all a bit shit but the clowns come on and you laugh a bit and feel happy anyway, what's your happy time?

alt: *hugs*
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:37, archived)
oops

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:37, archived)
Playing guitar
When you can play guitar everything else is just gravy.

Oh, and being really, REALLY drunk.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:38, archived)
I'm fucking hungry

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:40, archived)
do you mean that fat bird, hungry helen?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:49, archived)
Oh man
She's as fat as she is hungry
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:50, archived)
Everyone's Hendrix
When they're really drunk.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:37, archived)
what the hell is wrong with you? are you having a breakdown?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:39, archived)
*makes the tea*
Here...get that down you.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:40, archived)
i'm scared

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:41, archived)

 _______ ,---.  ,-.,---.,-.    ,---.   .-. .-.  
|__ __|| .-.\ |(|| .-'| | | .-' | )| )
)| | | `-'/ (_)| `-.| | | `-. | / | /
(_) | | ( | || .-'| | | .-' |/ |/
| | | |\ \ | || | | `--. | `--. ( (
`-' |_| \)\`-')\| |( __.'/( __.'(_) (_)
(__) (__) (_) (__)

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:41, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/0fcb2734f07769c5925f/trifle.jpg
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:43, archived)
Fuck yeah.
I might buy a trifle on the way home. A big one. And eat the lot to myself.
Yeah, it'll be a supermarket made one, but a supermarket trifle is better than no trifle.
Trifle is fucking braw.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:44, archived)
damn right, trifle is da bomb!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:47, archived)
my ballbag is fat but the doctor says the special clinic will cure me

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:44, archived)
bored of that now
So yeah, you know when you just move your head a bit and you feel a lump of earwax dislodge itself and you're about to pick it out and have a good look at it but it's too late because it's dropped on the floor, well what do you hate most about dogs?

alt: hello

pricks
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:33, archived)
shit question

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:35, archived)
Big ones smell. I'd have one otherwise.
Cleaning your ears out with cotton buds is bad, m'kay
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:35, archived)
You sound upset
What's happened Francis? Is it Bollocks Parrot?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:36, archived)
I just missed out on some quality earwax time

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:44, archived)
When you bend over to pick the earwax up
the dog sticks it's snout up your arse.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:36, archived)
What?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:37, archived)
That's what I hate
about dogs.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:51, archived)
alright Friz

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:37, archived)
WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:38, archived)
God, what an ignoramus

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:44, archived)
I'm deeply hurt by this :'(

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:44, archived)
it is snout

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:44, archived)
Baldmonkey is killing this place
So, making any large purchases this year? Going on holiday perhaps?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:56, archived)
buying a car with my redundancy money
if I get the job after the second interview tomorrow.

Does that count?

I'ma get me a BEETLE.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:57, archived)
nice car

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:08, archived)
fat ballbag

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:18, archived)
Hey, mr horrid, how many eskimos does it take to change a light bulb?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:26, archived)
shit question

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:27, archived)
nice mod

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:32, archived)
POLAR BEAR!!!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:27, archived)
nice bear

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:33, archived)
what's with all the michael goveing?
need a hug?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:34, archived)
Yes. Yes I do.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:34, archived)
aww, he just wants some love! hugz*
*warning: actual hug may cause anal bleeding
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:37, archived)
i bought a festival ticket, that was £160
might buy a wii u before the end of the year depending on how good it looks and what it costs, etc
otherwise, not really.

how about you?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:59, archived)
nice console

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:09, archived)
well dude, we just don't know

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:13, archived)
you might not. but i do. nice consol and only a prick would not consider buying one

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:15, archived)
i played mariokart 7 on the 3DS the other day against people in canda, america, japan and aus
i won the first race but then they raped me and i stopped playing

cunts
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:16, archived)
I'm giving in on Nintendo hand held consoles.
They seem to bring out a different version every month.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:17, archived)
bit of an exaggeration, but you're right they probably did one a year with the DS
DS Lite, DSi, DSi XL, 3DS
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:20, archived)
You might be right on this Balders
Every other console (not including handhelds) seems to be really brilliant.
NES (great) Super NES (ok) N64 (phenomenal) Game Cube (less so) Wii (Groundbreaking)
Wii U....remains to be seen.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:18, archived)
nice opinions

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:22, archived)
It's all going on decorating this year it seems
The dining room is getting plastered this weekend, so give it another couple of weeks and I might feel a party coming on. It's about time I think.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:16, archived)
nice house

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:18, archived)
YOUN ARE
Nah, it's starting to look awesome. Worth the effort.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:19, archived)
I AM SAVING THIS TYPE OF CONVERSATION FOR MY HAIRDRESSER
new topic, please
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:59, archived)
nice hair

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:09, archived)
i really do
i let my gf's friend who is a hairdresser do it and one side is lower than the other and it's longer and made my head look round

getting it fixed this week, silly cow
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:13, archived)
You ungrateful prick
/ac
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:20, archived)
what are you, the taxman?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:05, archived)
nice levy

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:09, archived)
barrington's brother

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:10, archived)
JESUS
I'm collecting information that I can sell to market research companies. What is that, A CRIME OR SOMETHING??
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:15, archived)
nice market research

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:20, archived)
I just bought some beef monster munch
gonna save it for a special occasion
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:06, archived)
woah
i bought a multipack a few weeks back, but it was all pickled onion, i thought it would be a mix but it wasn't. i've got nothing against pickled onion, but i wanted a variety

i'm over it now
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:08, archived)
I'd kill for a multipack of crisps :'(
I'd din't realise you were a toff Q.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:10, archived)
hey man, i've got 2 choppers in my yard and a whole mountain of orange kitkats
i'm happy to share the wealth
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:11, archived)
I could help you cut some trees down!
LOL
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:13, archived)
not that kind of chopper

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:17, archived)
oh wow! we can totally cruise down to the shops and do some bunny hops!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:20, archived)
yea boi, forks like a freaking farmer

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:21, archived)
imma gonna spend my pocket money on a double dip and 10p mix
recognize!
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:24, archived)
nice crisps

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:09, archived)
Too far, bandmonkey!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:11, archived)
woah there, say what you like about me but leave the crisps alone!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:13, archived)
Like a wedding maybe?
Do I hear wedding bells?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:20, archived)
*blushes*

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:21, archived)
might get a new spomb

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:12, archived)
nice bait launching thing

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:13, archived)
a what now? spoon you can comb your hair with?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:14, archived)
oh come on
it's obviously a composite word from spod and bomb. even i worked that much out. doesn't take much thought to figure out it probably launches spods.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:16, archived)
If I get picked I'm getting my tattoo at the end of the year
otherwise, no.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:16, archived)
nice body mutilation

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:18, archived)
Picked for what?
And what sort of tattoo?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:21, archived)
Well the artist I want to get it from is very good, she has a long waiting list
but she's at the Tattoo Covention in September, taking slots for that. She has a form to submit ideas for tattoos, she picks the ones she wants to do and ou get done at the convention. I want a big snarly wolf on my left arm.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:23, archived)
nice convention
nice limb
nice animal
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:25, archived)
Ah, I see
Well fingers crossed then!
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:29, archived)
Go to the zoo
waving a bacon batch
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:34, archived)
I might buy some solid gold pants

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:18, archived)
shit pants

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:19, archived)
Always with the negativity.
Tsk.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:23, archived)
I left a comment on your prick blog for pricks

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:30, archived)
So are your tits.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:32, archived)
Oh man, now you're talking

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:22, archived)
Christ.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:24, archived)


(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:29, archived)
Money's a bit tight
Depending on how things go over the next few months, I may not be going away for my birthday :(
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:33, archived)
shit person

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:34, archived)
Shit father-figure

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:36, archived)
Here, try this on for size:
b3ta.com/links/793521
Alt: food war pun thread. full metal jacket potato. AK57 etc.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:52, archived)
oh man, another thing I've missed out on :'(

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:55, archived)
NERF!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:56, archived)
the charge of the philidelphia light brigade

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:57, archived)
the dairy dozen

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:06, archived)
the american war of in-deep-pan-dence.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:38, archived)
battle of the herrings

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:39, archived)
battle of patay

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:39, archived)
you all suck.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:43, archived)
Woah
Even me?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:45, archived)
the Gratin War (14-18)

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:56, archived)
The French Egg-olution.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:59, archived)
armegged personegg carriegg

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:02, archived)
*points*
huh... buh... suh... it's YOU!
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:41, archived)
arh man i was tring to think of one for that

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:46, archived)
Tench warfare.
(Can you eat tench?)
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:57, archived)
Griller Warfare

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:59, archived)
I like the sets
It's like you're in a real house
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:57, archived)
Dunwel

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:57, archived)
How did you find the bass?
I looked around and there it was!
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:59, archived)
bassy
i did say yesterday but you were rude and ignored me
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:01, archived)
You said thanks, but you didn't say how it was
It was cheap because the body's a little damaged, but I think it plays really well.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:03, archived)
It made bassy noises. I was pleased with the noises it made.
You know very well that I have no idea what the difference between one guitar and the next is. Stop bullying me.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:07, archived)
Surely you can feel the difference between the neck on that one and the Encore?
No? FINE. FORGET IT THEN.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:09, archived)
I'll not lie to you, Two Hats; DJ Mattius Prime did most of the bass playing.
I don't think I've played it at all yet.
I might tonight.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:11, archived)
Fuck's sake

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:11, archived)
I've got a photo of a dead Goldfinch
Do you want it for your prick blog for pricks?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:12, archived)
No.
Can't you fucking post it as a reply or some cunt
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:13, archived)
I've no idea, can I?
Alright, I'll try that
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:14, archived)
Fuck off.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:15, archived)
You ungrateful prick
Your blog is actually not bad. I showed someone the other day and they "liked" it.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:16, archived)
It's annoying that a blog intended to be quite boring is proving to be the most popular one I ever dun.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:24, archived)
it IS better than most of your usual shit

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:26, archived)
Go fuck a starfish, shitmod.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:27, archived)
chocolate?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:28, archived)
racist

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:29, archived)
modist

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:34, archived)
i agree with rch rupaul, birds appear to be your thing

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:30, archived)
Yowzers.
Nice one.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:35, archived)
haha, i like your sig

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:03, archived)
:D
I sent Mrs Hats the Amazon link and she showed me some of the reviews. Great stuff.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:04, archived)
after she bought one, i assume

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:06, archived)
Haha
God only knows what she'd spell out with it. She once called me a cunt via the medium of Alphabites.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:08, archived)
pfft

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:10, archived)
it doesn't fit

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:59, archived)
a nerf gunfight does look like fun though

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:03, archived)
Not as much fun as something I just thought of
Alright Manolith
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:03, archived)
i can think of something WAY funner than anything you can think of

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:07, archived)
I dunno man...this is pretty good

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:09, archived)
says you!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:21, archived)
That's what your mum said.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:26, archived)
probably, not to you though
yours would fit though the eye of a needle
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:28, archived)
the dancing is out of time with the music.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:00, archived)
no fucking idea what they're doing pigster, it's a disgrace!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:02, archived)
I'm gonna complain.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:08, archived)
you totally should!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:14, archived)
Cridolmea

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:03, archived)
Somme Frites

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:03, archived)
Roly Gallipoli

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:03, archived)
war is hellman's

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:03, archived)
cry havoc and let slip the hotdogs of war

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:06, archived)
hamburger hill

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:09, archived)
A horseradish! A horseradish! My kingdom for a horseradish!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:14, archived)
Where Eagles Pear

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:04, archived)
The Sandwiches of Eastwick

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:10, archived)
all quorn on the western front.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:15, archived)
Hagen Das Boot

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:17, archived)
hamburger hill

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:18, archived)
the thin red lime

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:18, archived)
saving private ryvita

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:19, archived)
the guns of toblerone.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:20, archived)
bridge over the river kiwi

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:20, archived)
private benJAMin

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:22, archived)
the dessert rats

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:24, archived)
ice tea cold in alex

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:26, archived)
too slow, fatty

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:20, archived)
fuck you hound botherer

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:21, archived)
show some respect, son

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:27, archived)
respect is earned and you've got a lot of work to do.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:30, archived)
no i don't
otherwise i wouldn't be here
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:34, archived)
boo-hiss

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:34, archived)
what's up with you?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:45, archived)
The Napoleonic Smores

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:19, archived)
HMS Warriorange

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:23, archived)
HMS Victoryia Sponge

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:25, archived)
Siegfried lion bar

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:28, archived)
War Horse

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:21, archived)
That looks like you had fun. I hate fun.
Alt: I dunno, ApoCallippo Now or something
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:22, archived)
probably why you do extreme frisbee.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:23, archived)
I call "bullshit" on the "extreme" "bit".
i also call bullshit on the ultimate bit
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:25, archived)

At least get it right you porrigewog
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:26, archived)
oh well, it doesn't seem like a complete waste of time for adults to chase a child's toy when you replace extreme with ultimate

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:29, archived)
See? It's just that one little word that makes all the difference.
I don't go around calling it just 'Ultimate' though, like a sad act. Just plain ol' Frisbee for me.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:36, archived)
Fuck off and die

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:29, archived)
The Luc-crusades

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:33, archived)
The roast boar war

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:38, archived)
Vietlamb

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:32, archived)
The War Of The Rosemarys

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:33, archived)
Tarragon in Sixty Seconds

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:35, archived)
Bun Fight At The OK Corral.
/goodies
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:36, archived)
General Custard

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:32, archived)
the battle of little big corn

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:35, archived)
Churo-onimo!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:36, archived)
REMEMBER THE ALE IMO

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:40, archived)
I like circles.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:37, archived)
They HATE you

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:39, archived)
I might go poop.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:39, archived)
Cool

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:40, archived)
he's having a shit now, isn't he?
why did he have to say, it's all I can think about now.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:45, archived)
He's killing this place

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:49, archived)
This office has turned into a football office.
I don't like it.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:50, archived)
if you can't join in because of the gout, offer to keep score.
there's plenty of ways to feel involved MONO!
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:51, archived)
I was once trapped between two scottish blokes in my office
One was Rangers, the other Celtic. They wittered on like broken Furbies all fucking day.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:55, archived)
blah blah blah man u blah blah blah blah blah city blah blah blah bollocks
I might just quit.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:00, archived)
that's handy cause you're round. LOLOLOLOLOL
I'M CALLING YOU FAT!!!!
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:39, archived)
round like a circle in a spiral like an ever spinning wheel, like the circles that you find, you fat ballbag

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:44, archived)
That "you fat ballbag" thing that MONO came up with has really caught on.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:51, archived)
and how

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:51, archived)
Grate!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:46, archived)
How many circular things can you think of?
alt: what's the most evil thing, in your opinion, about a rubik's cube?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:24, archived)
I heard that janet is so stupid she went to the dock, left and was angry that her nettle sting still hurt.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:25, archived)
I heard that janet is so stupid that she tried to make her car go faster by pressing a review of microsoft's famous spreadsheet.
(excel-rater sounds a bit like accelerator)
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:27, archived)
i heard that janet is so stupid she tried to make a sandwich using VHS recordings of the 1980s sitcom called Bread.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:28, archived)
i heard that janet is so stupid that when she wanted to lose weight she went round gonzo's house and dunked him in indelible ink.
(because dye yid sounds a bit like diet)
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:30, archived)
I heard that janet is so stupid that when she was trying to make a bacon roll she rolled up some bacon into a ball and rolled it along the ground.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:31, archived)
i heard that janet is so stupid she once shat herself and didn't change her adult nappy for eight days

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:33, archived)
i heard that janet is so stupid that she thinks a pterodactyl is type of flying dinosaur

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:34, archived)
bet MONO! gets stuck on this one.
    ___ ___ ___
/___/___/___/|
/___/___/___/||
/___/___/__ /|/|
| | | | /||
|___|___|___|/|/|
| | | | /||
|___|___|___|/|/
| | | | /
|___|___|___|/

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:28, archived)
That's not a cube.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:34, archived)
correct, it's a drawing.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:35, archived)
I don't have children.
What was your point?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:36, archived)
Theme parks are only for children.
Only children are allowed to smile.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:37, archived)
you spend a lot of time at theme parks for an adult with no kids.
that's all, shesh, PARANOID!
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:37, archived)
what?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:47, archived)
personally I'm not that fond of theme parks.
if there was one near I might go to it a lot because I have a kid.
see?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:48, archived)
I like going.
I don't have a kids.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:50, archived)
Here we go again
The most evil thing about the Rubik's Cube...Imma pray on that.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:30, archived)
well, what did God say???

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:34, archived)
He told me that an artist named 'Evil Wombat' has recorded a song called 'Rubik's Cube Love Song'
But nothing about the cube being specifically evil. I think Baldmonkey (yet again) might be wrong.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:37, archived)
ugh, again?
fucking hell.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:38, archived)
I know

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:39, archived)
MorningTwo Cubes

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:34, archived)
Cubo

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:38, archived)
18.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:30, archived)
Pervert.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:31, archived)

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