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Cool. Everyone's upset about Rubik's Cubes now.
What if I were to say "I like circles."?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:07, archived)
I'd punch the wall.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:09, archived)
CIRCLES ARE FOR CUNT HOLES YOU SHIT

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:10, archived)
you should know, you MASSIVE DISEASE RIDDEN FOETID CUNT

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:11, archived)
Why all the anger?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:18, archived)
FUCK YOU
nah, you're alright you are.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:19, archived)
I think we must be the same person.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:11, archived)
Apparently, the amount of times I've been to theme parks in the past year I would normally have spent £800
amazing huh.
and apparently I can get people tickets this month for 15.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:18, archived)
do you have children?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:24, archived)
No

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:34, archived)
£10 on the wall to win.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:10, archived)
I used to be somebody I used to be a contender
:'(
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:12, archived)

nte la
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:13, archived)
no, I'm sorry MONO! there's too many holes.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:14, archived)
PHWOAR!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:15, archived)
you fat needy ballbag

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:09, archived)
Morning
I'm going to go get a rubik's cube today.
You?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 7:46, archived)
i wont be
Next question
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 7:55, archived)
Is Mono too fat or needy to be doing this hipster 'look at me I'm buying something from the 80's' shit?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 7:57, archived)
HEY BADGER! GUESS WHAT!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 7:58, archived)
he is better than all of us because he uses b3ta ironically, he told us before

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 7:59, archived)
I'm better than all of you because I'm not self righteous like the rest of you.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:01, archived)
even when you are telling us how much better you are than us

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:02, archived)
*slaps forehead*

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:08, archived)
yeah, you're self-wrongeous, now fuck off

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:06, archived)
Looks to me like a couple of chaps are jealous about not buying Rubik's Cubes today.
Tell you what, add them to your Amazon wishlists and I'll treat you both.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:01, archived)
you fat ballbag

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:04, archived)
You're welcome.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:04, archived)
It's not a "hipster" thing or a "retro" thing
The missus bought a little keyring cube at the weekend and couldn't solve it so I did it for her and enjoyed it.
So, I'm going to get a proper one and learn how to solve it, it appeals to my obsesive compulsiveness.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:00, archived)
I was doing one round at my parents' house the other day. What a coincidence.
I was proper struggling. Then mum told me my youngest son had peeled all the stickers off and she'd just stuck them back on willy-nilly. So, yeah, I genuinely was considering getting a rubik's cube next pay day.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:04, archived)
I looked up instructions online.
Cause I genuinely wasn't getting anywhere, and I really like the whole formula thing to solving them, I'd like to learn it.
I saw a video of a guy solving it in 28 seconds BLINDFOLDED.
that's just sad though, I also learnt that people lubricate their cubes so they can solve them faster, that's sad too.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:06, archived)
aren't RC's from the 70s?
by which I mean, weren't they already tedious shit before Mono was even born?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:05, archived)
Naturally.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 7:57, archived)
Hardly.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:00, archived)
Nothing, I don't purchase things I don't need.
I am doing seven hours on Catenation, Elision, Assimilation and Intrusion though.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:05, archived)
Do you need the broken down car in your garage?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:06, archived)
I'm going to bet that 99-100% of the things you own aren't strictly "needed"

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:08, archived)
I bet he has more than one cup.
The fucking cunt.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:09, archived)
What does he even NEED a cup for?!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:10, archived)
more like a reubens sandwich!!!!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:08, archived)
*fats*

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:09, archived)
*lolz*

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:09, archived)
don't mind me,
i'm just posting before the Mono! and Baldmonkey Show starts.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 7:24, archived)
Mono's bumhole

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 7:45, archived)
S.O.S.
Stupid Obese Skank.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 7:57, archived)
alright

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:10, archived)
bangin'

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:20, archived)
cool

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:27, archived)
evening

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:23, archived)
innit

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:27, archived)
smashin'.
Might go for a pint.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:23, archived)
lovely, go for it, you work hard

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:28, archived)
Fucking right Mongy.
Some cunt decided to shit the bed five minutes before knock-off time. Selfish wanker, keeping me out the pub like that.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:34, archived)
needy cunt

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:36, archived)
ahoy

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:23, archived)
yo ho

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:31, archived)
yeah
trying to decide what to do on my day off tomorrow
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:29, archived)
go walk around a nice lake

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:31, archived)
goo to an rspca shelter and take a dog for a walk

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:36, archived)
do they let you do that?!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:42, archived)
no, nor can you go to a foster home and take a child to go and see a live sex show in mexico city, mad aint it

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:52, archived)
what a rip

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:57, archived)
it could be worse
                            


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(, Mon 14 May 2012, 23:02, archived)
SKINKING
MODS ARE ASLEEP
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 23:07, archived)
I think the one round here has set walkie o'clocks every week
then when they trust you, you can nip in and take a dog out for lunch or whatever.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 23:40, archived)
all safe here, you alright mongy?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:49, archived)
all good mark, coop seem to have ignored me so i'm stealing from them now

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:51, archived)
don't let the bastards grind you down!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 23:08, archived)
Have you told them that you are stealing because if you haven't then it's not really any kind of revenge that will change things.
I'm all right, despite a spectacularly bad day at work. You?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 23:09, archived)
exposure wont help me, i will continue to be covert, cia trying to kill me
work eh, shit innit sometimes, people on here seem to talk about foood, glad you lef that out, i love you neps
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 23:15, archived)
There's go to be a Mission Impossible plan where you have both the co-op and the CIA thinking they're chasing you when they're really chasing each other.
I'd like to see the CIA brought to its knees by a bunch of hippies from Rochdale.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 23:20, archived)
shhhh

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 23:42, archived)
yeah, you?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 23:14, archived)
great mics, got your shit together?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 23:16, archived)
think so,
i'm off to bed so cant chat
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 23:19, archived)
tapping into the alright thread, here

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 6:12, archived)
good times

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 7:55, archived)
Anyone know where I can get a new graphics card, this evening?
I mean physically get possession of it. I want to stick it in a computer tonight.

Anyway, what's up. Did I miss anything?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:53, archived)
buy one from a shop four hours ago

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:58, archived)
Good point well made.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:00, archived)
When I first played WoW in 2005 the sixth disc of 6 had an error on it
whether it was a production problem or a scratch or whatever, it refused to install.

I ended up buying another copy the next day, which didn't work, and eventually Spangolin posted me the CD.

Then...well. Three stone heavier, no degree and a lifelong wary eye on Blizzard multiplayer games.

Says he who considers himself 'proper good' on EVE Online, making enough in-game currency to buy in-game time cards and play for free.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:04, archived)
Point taken.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:11, archived)
I'm still playing WoW
no-one ever wins
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:16, archived)
I have a years subscription to that thing but don't even have it installed.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:17, archived)
Diablo 3 was/is going to be my last forray into gaming.
Say, spangles. You're a tech-savy Londoner. Got a spare graphics card lying around?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:18, archived)
Just asked cree
we don't, I'm afraid.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:20, archived)
Are there no PC World shops near you open for the midnight sale?
Somewhere that sells both might be your answer.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:22, archived)
As you will by now be aware.
I was being a noob.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:59, archived)
You are a nublet
but equally, Blizzard should not have put an error up when there was not a problem.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:06, archived)
i do, but you are a cock hound

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:10, archived)
I was about to start to play Cata
but never got around to it, met Steve and had a Proper Adult Relationship instead.

I am not impressed with the new Kung Fu Panda expansion though, christ.

I'll keep my memories of Elwynn Forest. I could nostalgia about Azeroth that much I could get teary for chrissake.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:23, archived)
I didn't like Cata.
My main is still only lvl 83, I never reached the level cap. The new expansion does looks a bit stupid too. AND they've fucked around with talent points again, it's unusable now.

Vanilla WoW was miles better. And more difficult. And more entertaining. Whippersnappers don't know how lucky they are mumble mumble etc etc.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:26, archived)
We had mounts at level FORTY. And they were so expensive nobody could afford one.
Earning a paladin mount?! It was a set of quests beyond your bloody imagination.

I did get Rivendare's Charger on the first time I did the instance though. Solo. Fuckin' geddin.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:29, archived)
I KNOW the warlock mount was just as hard
seeing someone on the firey one, you knew they'd worked their balls off. You had to spend weeks getting attuned for Onyxia.
Now there's no attunement, you get given both warlock and paladin mounts as talents, and everyone's riding a fucking dragon wearing purples. AND the starting areas are so linear and full of cutscenes you might as well be playing FFX.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:31, archived)
If Steve wasn't so strongly against tattoos, I'd have one to remind me of the great times I had spent on it
and how it's shaped my outlook on life, games and attitude to stuff.

But as he's a Keeper I'll allow him his wish :p
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:34, archived)
hah
that rankles with me, but only because I am of the opinion that tattoos are self-expression, and if you don't like them, you don't like me.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:35, archived)
Aah, Elwynn Forest.
I can still remember the first missions at Northshire Abbey. For a paladin it gave me the grounding I needed
to begin to understand the Light and the evil that was plaguing the land.

Then forays into surrounding zones and cities hrough the whole game even with the Explorer achievement when Lich King came out. I was genuinely proud and pleased with that, I'd seen the whole game's land by foot, hoof and air.

CHRIST SPANGLES LOOK WHAT YOU'VE MADE ME DO. LOOK WHAT I HAVE TURNED INTO.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:28, archived)
Blackrock Mountain contained the hardest dungeons known to Man.
Level 60 was a serious, hardworking achievement.
God I miss it.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:32, archived)
jesus was it really 2005 :/

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:34, archived)
I reckon you could do it again by next week
Take a few days off work and have a go
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:35, archived)
In all honesty - you probably could, with how the game's mechanics have changed
You could probably do 1-60 in 5 days, 60-70 in a long weekend and 80 not too far after that.

Admittedly 'back then' it took yonks. Back in MY DAY.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:38, archived)
yeah
I've got to lvl 40 in about... 10 hours of play? Plus you get a freaking mount at lvl 20.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:40, archived)
That's not fair. THAT IS NOT FAIR.
I took a whole evening with a friend to get from 39-40 in, oh god where was it

The marshland next to the blasted red place with the first portal to Outland. Can't remember the name. Dustwallow Marsh maybe?

Did that for 3 hours watching the XP slowly climb up and was amazed when I got my slow bloody donkey.

Such a difference than being on foot, suddenly the world is yours, it's like having your first car. I'm so
nostalgic here it's...there's...no, just something in my eye, it's nothing, no, don't worry
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:43, archived)
there there
you've got EVE now, it's like having a second job. But there are no giant cows. Or dragons. Or FOR THE HORDE.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:47, archived)
my Drake ship is 800 meters long
and is a sluggish fat bitch that has 7 missile launchers

The shortest frigates are about 60 metres long, the Titans - super capital ships for endgame very rich players and corporations are 15-20km long. The scale of the game is hayoooooge.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:50, archived)
I don't really like Games in Space

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:53, archived)
I don't know what games people poopsock these days

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:41, archived)
I like EVE Online because of the spaceships
the ridiculously complicated economy and learning curve. You could play for three years and still be an utter noob. NOOB.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:44, archived)
every description I've read of that game makes it sound like a second job

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:46, archived)
Yeah it can be - some players take it very seriously
corporations, mining, taxes, sovereignty, the game storyline and background, it's a lot to take in.

It's unforgiving too, if you lose your ship that's taken you six months to train for, build and fly, you get an insurance payout if you've insured it against buying a new one.

Some of them take months to build but hours to destroy, it's what I like about it. Fiendishly complicated though, but it's a step up from WoW that holds your hand every step of the way.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:52, archived)
it's not as good now.
nowhere near as good.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:38, archived)
IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
I played a healy druid before dual-speccing. I DIED SO MUCH. I WAS IN AN RP GUILD. NO-ONE RPS ANY MORE.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:32, archived)
I was a tankadin with 2h axes until someone quietly told me you can't really tank like that
then discovered SHIELDS. Whoa. Dude.

As I've not played it for more than 6 months - or paid for that matter I am sure my 80 char is gone.

I think my /played time was 1200-1500 hours of gameplay and exploring on my tankadin at least.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:40, archived)
lolno, they don't delete your chars
I came back to mine after over a year and they were still as I left them. I got the Explorer title too, it was great fun. Before you could fly in Azeroth, too.
Let me know if you want a Scroll of Resurrection :P
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:43, archived)
Oh god I'm going to have to seriously think about it
Driving home gets me here in 15 mins now so I'll have..2 hours a day when I'm not on a bus there and back.

And I've just stuck 12gb more ram in here. Oh god. Oh god.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:45, archived)
well it gives you 7 days free to work out if you still like it

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:49, archived)
I think I can play both
giving up alcohol and trashy food, need to reward myself with something...

I'm gonna download the client and see what I remember, haha.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:53, archived)
smash and grab one at your local tech shop?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:06, archived)
There _must_ be somewhere open on T'ham Court Road.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:06, archived)
Racism?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:08, archived)
You'd think so but its 9:00 now and it wouldn't be able to get there before 10:00
potentially a long journey, in vain.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:10, archived)
Come on Gonz, I bet you've got a spare one knocking around.
You wouldn't even have to leave the house... please
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:12, archived)
Sorry dude, crashed out.
I'm a laptop kindda guy, and if not, I would be on a MacMini or iMac, which don't have them.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 22:35, archived)
make one yourself out of a dinnerplate, a paper clip and some string

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:15, archived)
show how pls

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:18, archived)
give me £400 first

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:37, archived)
will you supply the plate?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:47, archived)
i'll supply a link to a private youtube video about how to obtain plates

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:48, archived)
this sounds legit guys, Paypal me thirty pounds each and I'll pass it on to light guy and share the link

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:57, archived)
ez Seb

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:30, archived)
yes.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:37, archived)
I've only had burger king like 3 times in my life.
It's not that I don't like burger king, it's just that I've hardly been near one at the time of requiring one.

u cool?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:45, archived)
I had one on Sunday
best breakfast.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:46, archived)
I donno what they do for breakfast, but I'll be happy to find out.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:04, archived)
cornflakes

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:14, archived)
Unusual Testicle Bleeding?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:20, archived)
U tat ballbag

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:22, archived)
I'm not sure the veracity of the idea of anyone ever "needing" a burger king.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:46, archived)
I read that as 'nerding' at first, that would be a good vowl/noun/whatever.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:05, archived)
I had one today
That makes me sound like a fatty fatty bum bum, but the last time I had one was before Christmas. Never had a Nandos.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:47, archived)
I have also never had Nandos
maybe no one ever really goes there?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:49, archived)
I have evidence to the contrary
as I walked past one today and there were people in there eating stuff.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:51, archived)
might be actors.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:04, archived)
I went there once and had to get my own cutlery and order at a till , I thought it was a restaurant :(

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:52, archived)
I went past a Yo Sushi today
it's like a baggage collection at Heathrow, just with fish instead of Samonsite.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:59, archived)
Were there any fat, tedious 'comedians' there?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:03, archived)
I got 3/4 of a chicken and 10 wings next time I go there.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:05, archived)
I have a burger king as treat sometimes at an airport or station, I don't think they're any better or worse than Ronald's

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:50, archived)
I think they are better
#justsaying
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:52, archived)
*uses transportation
Slowly slowly, facty catchy.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:05, archived)
alright gonz
alright spangolin
alright windy pig
alright magnum

I've never had a Burger King, imagine that.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:50, archived)
alright glueid saeed

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:51, archived)
alright ha

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:53, archived)
Did you mistype that or do you pronounce my username in a Mexican fashion?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:55, archived)
alright
ja
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:54, archived)
Alright JA?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:05, archived)
Alright JA

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:08, archived)
Alright Gonz.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:03, archived)
Alright W'dawg, how's it going?
/ac
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 21:06, archived)
ASCII WEAPONS....... <~|~|~|======>-
Make a weapon you'll use to defeat the hords.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:28, archived)
%%%33££33££=======+++++JEW*****>>>>>

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:31, archived)
Saving Private Starfish
The Maltese Starfish
To Kill A Mockingstarfish
The Starfish Mile
Bill And Ted's Excellent Starfish
Starfish Story
Cloudy With A Chance Of Starfish
To Have And Have Starfish
Brief Starfish Counter
It's A Wonderful Starfish
East Is Eastarfish
Sex, Lies And Video Starfish
Carry On Up The Starfish
A Muppet Christmas Starfish
The Land That Starfish Forgot
Journey To The Centre Of The Starfish
My Fair Starfish
Inglorious Starfish
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:37, archived)
i think they should rename talk to the baldmonkey board

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:38, archived)
Yes.
And close all the other boards.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:39, archived)
YES
I'll have a word with the good mods
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:40, archived)
boardmonkey

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:18, archived)
Starfish II: The Klumps.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:38, archived)
Don't be stupid.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:39, archived)
I know man, it was a travesty.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:40, archived)
(-oo-) Eeeerrrrooooooooo
TIE Bomber, innit
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:32, archived)
THAI BOMBER

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 17:08, archived)
90NZ0

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:33, archived)
MACE!
			
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/ |MMMMMMMMM\ |MMMMMM--/ \-.
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\VMM/\MMMMMMM\ | /\ \/
\V/ \MMMMMMM\ | /_ /
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(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:34, archived)
trying to mace me to blind me but i just laugh

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:45, archived)
t-shirt and Levi's is his only disguise

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:49, archived)
i'll take the hint not to step in your path

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:54, archived)
/

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:37, archived)
\
en garde!
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:19, archived)
A BOMB WITH A FUSE
O-*
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:38, archived)
O SHIT THERE ISN'T MUCH TIME

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:40, archived)

 _/\_
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(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:48, archived)
lahayim!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:50, archived)
is that a stretched one of these

*
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 17:09, archived)
8x
quick cut the fuse with these scissors!
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:47, archived)
8==D - - - - -

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:39, archived)
apropos of nothing
www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004HCB1NW/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=natdee-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B004HCB1NW
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:40, archived)
Only 4 left in stock--order soon.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:41, archived)
The sort of girl that would wear that
Is not one I would introduce to my Mother. I dare say I wouldn't have the time.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:43, archived)
it is unbelievable

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:45, archived)
It warms my heart to know that there are still some good old fashioned dirty birds out there

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:46, archived)
Too busy Curning inside?
I'm not even sure what Curning is. Why is outdoor Curning frowned on?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:46, archived)
These review were helpful with found me.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 19:31, archived)

VAJAZZLE IS BEST PRODUCT FOR DECORATING LOWER REGIONS HELPS TO COVER UP SCARS RESULTANT FROM BIRTHING ACTIVITIES AND OR IMPLANTATIONS. MANY PARTNERS COMMENT ON ATTRACTIVE AND WIT PUN, WORDPLAY INCREASES DESIRE TO INTERACT. ADVISE FOR ALL WHO SEEK TO CONCEAL SEAM THAT MANY HUMAN NOTICE AND SEEK TO QUESTION LEADING TO UNDESIRED CONSUMPTION:

VAJAZZLE IS PRODUCT PERFECT, AVOID COMPROMISING MISSION, APPEAR HAPPY HUMAN FEMALE WITH SPARKLE GROIN. !!!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:17, archived)
Sounds like it was written by this bloke.
thegoldenageofthelowcountries.blogspot.co.uk/2011/09/explanation-of-choc-and-culture-around.html
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:39, archived)

                                                     _..----.._                                   
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/ .-";-.'--...___ ." .-""; ';""-""-...^..__...-v.^___, ,__v.__..--^"--""-v.^v,
; ; |'. """-/ ./; ; ;\P. ; ; """"____; ;.--""""// '""., ,/;
\ \ /"""."^"-"""""""" fsc
'--..__ '"._..' '"-;;"""
"""---'""""""

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:41, archived)
Well that was meant to be a tank

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:41, archived)
looks pretty kick-arse to me

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:46, archived)
Thank Q

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:49, archived)
no match for my TIE Bomber mind

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:51, archived)
Well no, of course

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:53, archived)



__.---.___
___/__\_O_/___\___
/___ __________ ___\
|===|\________/|===|
_______|===|__________|===|______

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 19:13, archived)
straight right
(O_O)
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:42, archived)
(9o_o)9
Put em up
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:43, archived)
my phone has no more :(

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:49, archived)

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(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:46, archived)
I will defeat them with the power of <3

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:50, archived)

ice cream?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:52, archived)
B<3

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:55, archived)
ice cream in a bum hole

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 17:28, archived)
I know, I know, it's serious

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 17:49, archived)
haha

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 18:04, archived)
i'm pretty sure my TIE Bomber wins

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 17:08, archived)
THIGH Bomber

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 17:16, archived)
Thai Bomber?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 17:17, archived)
Tithe Bummer

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 17:31, archived)
I want to make a shot version of the drink Mi Tie, so I can call it the "Mi Tie Bomber".

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 17:32, archived)
R
a giant letter R made out of chrome tubing to club somebody with
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 17:22, archived)
(OO=[][]=OO)
That's the grille of my BMW as it makes impact with your face
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 17:47, archived)
if it was a BMW there would be a badge
What you've got there is a Lada
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 17:59, archived)
The badge is on the bonnet, not the grille
you fucking povvo
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 18:17, archived)
I'd like to see your BMW and his Lada have a fight.
Your BMW wouldn't come out well.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 19:38, archived)
"|"
That's the tree I'm standing in front of.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 18:00, archived)
Bit late on the reply front here, I know
but I'd stand behind the tree
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:47, archived)

BMW HONDA ACCORD
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 19:20, archived)
piss off back to Lies Of The Week, you odious bore

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 19:37, archived)
( . Y . )

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 19:10, archived)
I'll thumb it up 'em.
      
_,-' \//%\
_,-' \%/|%
/ / ) __,-- /%\
\__/_,-'%(% ; %)%
%\%, %\
'--%'

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 19:44, archived)
they don't like it up em Captain Pigwaring!
*gurns*
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:08, archived)
Gonz I have been listening to the new Tenacious D album for the past few weeks, and it is actually pretty good.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:18, archived)
Sweet, totes gonna grab a copy.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 20:45, archived)
DOMESTIC PETS/TV SHOWS PUN THREAD!
The Golden Retriever Girls
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:30, archived)
Off Topic is BORRING i'm glad I can come here for fun

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:31, archived)

bored of scrolling past that now
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:33, archived)
You don't see that every day, is it?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:34, archived)
tell me how to strikethrough your name or i'm gonna start getting upset

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:36, archived)
I have no idea.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:38, archived)
you do know you LIAR
you did it right there
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:43, archived)
Not on my screen I never.
All the strikeouts must fuck over your browser.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:48, archived)
I'll try it here:
bored
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:49, archived)
I've never seen your name with a strikethrough
I think Q's eyes are broken
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:49, archived)
see two hats can do it too
and the post above his one doesn't even have a username :'P
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:52, archived)
oh wait now mine is too!AWHSOM!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:53, archived)
Quentin, do tell, what browser do you use?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:53, archived)
the good one

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:53, archived)
everything below TH's post is struckthrough now

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:54, archived)
Yeah, either your eyes are shit, your computer is shit, or your grasp on reality is shit.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:55, archived)
i'm gonna printscreen and make you look like a MUG

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:56, archived)
cool.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:58, archived)

Jesus. That was a fuck up.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:00, archived)
you look ridiculous now
RIDICULOUS
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:04, archived)
Is your computer some sort of metaphorical cunt-spastic?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:54, archived)
i'm on opera

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:55, archived)
Opera?
I've only ever used that on the Wii. Once.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:56, archived)
me too.
not by choice though.
are you on a mobile device or something?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:57, archived)
nope i use it at work cos it remembers all my passwords and i use about 6 different portals that kick me out every 30 mins
www.b3tards.com/u/93ddfffe9b9d9422fe92/bmisamug.jpg
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:58, archived)
someone fix it now its hurting my eyes

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:00, archived)
Wow. Nice one.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:04, archived)
i'm using chrome and whenever you do one of those twatty posts, your username and the stuff that follows it is struck through

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:02, archived)
fix it manolith!
stop being such a shit mod!
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:02, archived)
you need a dev for site fixes. not a mod.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:10, archived)
you are a div

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:28, archived)
The only answer really is to ban Baldmonkey
for life
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:04, archived)
baldmonkey's fine, its the board, the board shouuld be banned for being shit

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:06, archived)
I know where you live. And I know where he lives.
If I get banned I will burn you both.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:06, archived)
MODS!!1!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:10, archived)
AWESOME!
Imma totes fuck the site over to demonstrate that you are a shit mod.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:05, archived)
i don't mind it at all
i like it when your username is struck through. it just looks right
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:09, archived)
but to me the whole baord is struckthourgh, although that happened when TH posted
ban TH
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:10, archived)
MODS!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:11, archived)
lucky for us the only mods round here are TERRIBLE

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:16, archived)
i think the secret mod has disappeared
so I'M ALL YOU'VE GOT
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:21, archived)
i'm glad someone round here knows what they're doing

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:28, archived)
is it only happening in opera?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:18, archived)
fucked if i know
i'm not logging all the way out, moving my mouse ALL the way down to chrome, IE or firefox, logging back in ALL OVER AGAIN just because you can't be bothered to fix the board
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:19, archived)
then you deserve all you get

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:21, archived)
it's fixed now
prick
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:25, archived)
i editted my posts for you
seeing as the mod is fucking useless
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:30, archived)
thank you so much xxxxx

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:31, archived)
That looks like the sea.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:35, archived)
Bloke.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:36, archived)
Dallassie.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:31, archived)
Dogg The Bounty Hunter

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:32, archived)
The CATherine Tate Show

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:32, archived)
Band of Goldfish

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:34, archived)
Dr WHOOOO WHOOOOO WHOOOOO (owl sound)

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:35, archived)
Rabbit C. Nesbitt

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:36, archived)
The Darling Budgies of May

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:37, archived)
How do you solve a problem like Weimaraner

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:37, archived)
The Ger Bill

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:45, archived)
bergerbilerac

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:36, archived)
Jesus Christ; Super Starfish

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:36, archived)
Eartha Kitt's Shitty Tits.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:38, archived)
Kodiak (Kojak)

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:39, archived)
The Fresh Prints And Bull Hair.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:39, archived)
Bee-witched
I have a pet bee, fuck you.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:39, archived)
Downton Crabs

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:40, archived)
Last of the Summer Gazelle

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:41, archived)
The Brittas Impala

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:43, archived)
Silent Wit-Loch-Ness-Monster

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:44, archived)
THE LAND THAT TIME FAGGOT.
I love that one, there is no better pun than that.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:46, archived)
That's true
The Great Fire of London was started by a faggot.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:51, archived)
Happy Coatimundis

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:47, archived)
Primate Suspect

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:48, archived)
Chi-hua-hua-hua wah-wah-wah...
/coronation street theme tune
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:55, archived)
Haha

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:57, archived)
Eastendersnake.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:08, archived)
Bullseye.
With Jim Boa-in.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:09, archived)
BRING ON THE WALL-EYED PIKE!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:12, archived)
YOU ARE THE WEAKEST SKINK, GOODBYE

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:16, archived)
Only Fools and Horses

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:13, archived)
Thundercats

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:13, archived)
Countdowns
www.cact.org.uk/media_items/charlton-upbeats-group.jpg
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:14, archived)
Garden Variety Spiderman

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:14, archived)
Ferrets Bueller's Day Off


film? yeah? fuck off
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:20, archived)
As a matter of fact
I think there was a tv show.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:24, archived)
Yep
www.imdb.com/title/tt0098795/
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:25, archived)
yeah but taht was jsut ferris bueller, i still failed

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:25, archived)
Starfish In Their Eyes

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:21, archived)
Search for a starfish

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:22, archived)
Starfish wars

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:22, archived)
battlestarfish gallactica

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:22, archived)
rentagoose

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:22, archived)
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
No offence
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:25, archived)
shut up frisbeatrix potter

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:27, archived)
You shut up QuentinAnimals of Farthing Wood

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:29, archived)
shut up frisgay

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:31, archived)
O:
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODS!
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 16:34, archived)
JMG.
Liverpool's a bit rough, isn't it?
Blimey..

Give your one line destination reports. No fatties.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:06, archived)
Ukraine has shit roads and cheap watermelons

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:11, archived)
all water melons are shit

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:14, archived)
eventually, after you eat them
LOL!
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:48, archived)
I had no idea Ukraine had watermelons in the first place, let alone cheap ones

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:14, archived)
that's unsurprising, considering you're a blinkered middle-class American-worshipping fool

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:29, archived)
do they have shoes?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:36, archived)
Even for you, Grrpants, that was shit. If it wasn't Poland's national sport, I'd ask you to stop feeling sorry for yourself and try harder.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:38, archived)
I've got a better one;
You are shit. Fuck off and die.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:40, archived)
What can I do to make you feel this?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:45, archived)
Kill yourself.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:47, archived)
What can I do to get you there?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:59, archived)
Stop quoting lyrics like a fucking child and kill yourself.
Just stop with the shit posts for five minutes and at least give the idea proper consideration. Don't be put off by suicide's negative connotations. Put that to one side of your mind. Genuinely and sensibly give suicide a chance in your mind. Then do it, you pathetic little prick.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:10, archived)
There's only so much I can take

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:30, archived)
I'M A SCATMAN

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:36, archived)
*bebops*

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:40, archived)
This thread needs more Man Parrish

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:45, archived)
pool, wet.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:14, archived)
fucking southern shandy drinking poofters, the lot of them.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:16, archived)
:(

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:28, archived)
not you, scousers.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:42, archived)
>:(

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:45, archived)
well, that settles it you really are a total prick.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:50, archived)
I'm only genetically scouse. I don't have the nasal accent or anything :(

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:58, archived)
bad enough

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:36, archived)
:( Discrimination! Where's my lawyer-hat, I need to sue your arse.
*Rummages*
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:46, archived)
If you're gonna sue me I like the odds of me ending up with everything you own. like your stupid frisbees.
I'm gonna have fun thinking of ways to ruin them!
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:54, archived)
Ah but if I go through Legal Aid you'll die of old age before this ever kicks off
mwahaha
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:17, archived)
Everyone south of John o' Groats?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:36, archived)
who the fuck is that?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:42, archived)
I know a man with a john o' groats named smith

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:43, archived)
what's his jack o' groats called?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:45, archived)
TERRIBLE
I have a headache and it's raining. What are you going to do about it?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:46, archived)
stop dry dry wetting yourself

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:49, archived)
Well it's not going to dry dry wet itself, is it?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:51, archived)
There should be a really bad tribute band called Dry Dry Wet.
That's about as far as I've thought it through, somebody else take over
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:07, archived)
A tribute to who?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:10, archived)
at a guess, i'd say wet wet wet?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:22, archived)
That's a bit 'on the nose' isn't it?
It'd be better if it were a tribute to the Rolling Stones.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:24, archived)
I am ashamed to admit that it was a loooong way for that penny to drop :/

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:34, archived)
i suppose i could sympathise
there there, etc
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:50, archived)
Huh
"Mod"
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:52, archived)
i'm pretty sure that rule one in the mod book is 'don't give a shit about any of the forum users'

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:22, archived)
I don't want you to care
I want you to cure my headache and stop the rain
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:25, archived)
Make yourself a strong coffee
take 2 paracetamol and two ibuprofen, and then chug a pint of water.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:35, archived)
FRISBEE ADAM FOR MOD!!!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:36, archived)
People would live fitter, healthier lives but it'd be ever so dull, even I know that :S

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:40, archived)
I'd be a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his pyjamas, sipping a banana-broccoli shake
oh wait
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:44, archived)
Raw or steamed?
This is important
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:49, archived)
Normally, I prefer my virgins battered then fried

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:53, archived)
I like mine like I like my coffee
Ground up and in the freezer
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:55, archived)
get to fuck

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:02, archived)
BOOOO!!!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:08, archived)
will your headache out of existence like a real man
borrow michael eavis' cloud-bursting magic cannon

JOB. DONE.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:03, archived)
It's actually starting to lift now
Thank you Manolith.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:09, archived)
dry, dry, wet, headache

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:18, archived)
poor mrs twohats

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:24, archived)
FINE then, sign up and don't post on the messageboard you miserable cunt, see if I care

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:28, archived)
It's much more colourful than here, I'll give you that

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:35, archived)
thats what i did, forgot my password after i typed it, ¡¡¿

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:03, archived)
you can have a new one if you want, I wrote that bit of code now

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:25, archived)
It's just more of the same.
But slightly more depressingly shit.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:21, archived)
It is very rubbish
Sorry Francis
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:25, archived)
yeah but
no one's ever discussed frisbees there
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:26, archived)
that's a bonus

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:43, archived)
Nobody's discussed Frisbees here for a while, though.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:44, archived)
worst Martini ever

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:29, archived)
Ha, nice

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:36, archived)
I'm on a highway to hell

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:24, archived)
Goodison Park. Blimey.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:31, archived)
JMG.
How come you aren't The Moderator, but manolith is?
What's all that?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:34, archived)
I'm in charge.
I just don't go yelling about it at the top of my lungs.
Gent.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:51, archived)
Portsmouth City Council built a tall tower in a bid to get further away from Portsmouth while remaining in Portsmouth.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:36, archived)
The Isle Of Wight
Is fucking shite.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:36, archived)
The unpublished second print in the 'Skegness' poster series

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:37, archived)
Southampton is exactly as shit as Portsmouth but bigger.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:37, archived)
I much prefer Southampton
Might move there. Probably won't.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:38, archived)
Chichester has peregrin falcons in it's church tower.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:38, archived)
what sound do they make when you pull their ropes?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:43, archived)
Go! Sport! Gosport? No thanks.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:39, archived)
Landport...it's not that close to a port but it IS on some land

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:42, archived)
Come to Porchester where old people fester and chavlets parade in the street
There's nothing to do and no one will want you, but the pub has a raffle for meat.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:42, archived)
Southsea; taking some stones and calling them a beach.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:42, archived)
this is niche material, bm

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:46, archived)

h
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:47, archived)
I'm only writing for the cool kids.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:48, archived)
do hilsea

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:52, archived)
Hilsea, where it's still shit just ever so slightly less shit.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:57, archived)
Copnor - Quiet, yet Pointless

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:59, archived)
Ooh, no, I know...
Hilsea; home to the shittest Italian restaurant in the world. Honestly, someone should stab that fucking midget in the face. He buys most of the food ready made in Lidls. No joke. I've seen him doing it.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:03, archived)
When my missus was in banking, he was one of her clients
She hated him. Apparently he was a complete prick and rude to pretty much everyone he came into contact with.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:05, archived)
I might pop in on the way home and shit on one of the tables.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:06, archived)
Fair enough

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:10, archived)
Bognor Regis has a Butlins

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:46, archived)
Thailand; where thai-knee tempur flies a thai fighter to thai rack to buy thai-ers for his car and gets back home before bed thai-me.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:47, archived)
Liverpool; no good now Richard and Judy have moved to London.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:51, archived)
Belgium! Because if you don't have anything to do, it's as good a place as any to do it.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:52, archived)
India, it fucking stinks.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:52, archived)
This. Also Morocco, Tunisia and France.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:36, archived)
Egypt: chaos, racism and amazing diving

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:53, archived)
Israel!
Proving that Jews are nothing but trouble.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:53, archived)
I'm eating a Chomp!
A Chomp!!!
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:53, archived)
I thought he was busy being popular on offtopic

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:55, archived)
Last time I had one of those, that was exactly the noise my mouth made.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:59, archived)
ipswich- at least it's not in norfolk.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:22, archived)
it is when you go there
BAM!
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:30, archived)
I went to Norwich this morning
got some books and some bunting. My Jubilee house is going to piss all over baldmonkeys effort.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:18, archived)
Hollywood, it's full of gypsies!
No, not that one, the one near Birmingham.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:35, archived)
approved

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:42, archived)
Birmingham; all the smoke from the cadbury factory contains chocolate residue which sticks to everyone's skin which is why you don't see any white folk.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:45, archived)
This is what I was told as a child.
People don't lie to children.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:57, archived)
My Nan used to say to us boys
"You'd better not end up bringing a black girl home"
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:09, archived)
when my grandma met my cousin's indian boyfriend for the first time she went 'oh my god!'

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 15:42, archived)
dundee, arsehole o tha wurld, ken?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:42, archived)
they've got a desperate dan statue you can get a photo of you getting stabbed next to

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:45, archived)
they also have an "international airport"
yeah, flights to Leeds don't count as international.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:46, archived)
i dunno man, i liked the first film, he was like a fish out of water was mic

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:47, archived)
LOL!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:48, archived)
Milton Keynes
No, I don't know why either.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:47, archived)
I don't know what a milton keynes is :'(

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:49, archived)
It's a bit like a really badly laid out shopping centre,
But people live there.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:50, archived)
I think I had one when I was younger, mum got me one instead of a tamagochi, the cow

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:52, archived)
a massive council estate

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:52, archived)
it has the national hockey arena in it!
wow, goodtimes.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:55, archived)
The name always makes me think of
So we were treated to this magnificent spectacle of this eight-foot freak, eyes different colours, wearing a rubber corset, down on one knee shouting "MILTON KEEEEYNES".
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:52, archived)
What are you having for lunch?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:57, archived)
Hey Baldmonkey
I've got this GREAT idea
Instead of a lolunch thread, where everybody has to listen to me talking about how to get the most out of your Subway sammich, you have to guess what I've HAD for lunch. Yeeeah? You like?

So: What did I HAVE for lunch?

Alt: British athletes, who wood you and who woodn't you? Jessica Ennis makes me happy in my special place. I'd happily have her put me over her big shoulders and carry me away.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:57, archived)
A deep-fried Toffee Crisp in a wholemeal bap.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:58, archived)
You may have mistaken me for mmps
Because he is Scottish and most Scottish people only eat deep-fried rubbish, trufax
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:00, archived)
I thought you were all up for this health-food stuff, wholemeal innit, gotta be good for you
I heard some woman in the shop the other day buying blueberry muffins for her kid instead of choc chip "because of that five a day thing"
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:04, archived)
Wholemeal bread is better for you than white bread in the same vein as a kick in the teeth is better than being gang-raped.
You should have pulled her up by her jowels, screamed wordlessly into her face and then stuffed the muffin into her left eyesocket.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:16, archived)
Jesus, that's a bit excessive.
I was thinking of offering dietary advice rather than GBH.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:24, archived)
We can be like a good cop/bad cop routine for foodies.
And every week we go into working-class britain and find a fatty.
You can extol the virtues of steaming instead of boiling, while I choke them with raw broccoli and celophane.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:41, archived)
Yeah. It was a shit idea the first time you posted it.
Fuck off.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:01, archived)
What can I do to make you care?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:03, archived)
Adam
you're the last shit thing about this place. Do everyone a favour and fuck off for a bit, yeah?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:03, archived)
Nerp, sorry

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:17, archived)
foood
Not really, I'll be having fuck all, if I stop for lunch its a longer day
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:00, archived)
Food.
Next question please.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:04, archived)
I've got this GREAT idea
Instead of a lolunch thread, where everybody has to listen to me talking about how to get the most out of your Subway sammich, you have to guess what I've HAD for lunch. Yeeeah? You like?

So: What did I HAVE for lunch?

Alt: British athletes, who wood you and who woodn't you? Jessica Ennis makes me happy in my special place. I'd happily have her put me over her big shoulders and carry me away.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:55, archived)
Where does Scaryduck post most? Can we have Rory back now?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:25, archived)
what fresh hell is this?
Rory was killed and scaryduck is in Tokyo
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:29, archived)
Where does Baldmonkey feast the least?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:30, archived)
I'm gonna guess the salad bar

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:31, archived)
Haha...oh, he's such a fat ballbag

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:32, archived)
what ¿

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:30, archived)
Who the fuck is scaryduck?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:33, archived)

Great thread
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:43, archived)
you should buy his book, you'll love it.
it's a practical guide to being a paedo.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:44, archived)
You're killing this place

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:46, archived)
Who the fuck are these people
and who the fuck are you?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:51, archived)
So anyway,
I reckon the police HR manager must have been having a REALLY bad day to think it was a good idea to employ a giant talking dog to do cleaning and minor repairs. LOL!!!
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:57, archived)
This place is quiet, but it's pleasant
There's no more nasty sniping or bitching or FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF threads. Admittedly, you're all tedious bores with the intellect of a diseased mollusc, but I mean that in the nicest possible way.

How would you market the board to attract more users?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:12, archived)
/talk, home of the alright.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:14, archived)
it beats staring at the clock

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:14, archived)
Depends on the clock
www.boredpanda.com/cool-and-creative-clocks/
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:23, archived)
yeah, fair enough
some of those are ace
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:47, archived)
"/talk...Sometimes people post pictures of tits!"

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:15, archived)
is this baldmonkeyseenabird you're on about?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:02, archived)
um...sure, why not

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:06, archived)
We like people who play sports
And outside is lovely, really.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:15, archived)
Free spinks for all
And no in-jokes
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:16, archived)

Spinks?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:19, archived)

Marie
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:26, archived)
Christ almighty

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:00, archived)
What this board needs is Bronies
tons of them
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:18, archived)
I do not know what this means
But I have a feeling that it is something very, very bad
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:20, archived)
How are you on the internet not knowing what a Brony is
www.wired.com/underwire/2011/06/bronies-my-little-ponys/
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bronies
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:23, archived)
Because I don't go to the kind of places you do, evidently.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:31, archived)
I prefer
this
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:34, archived)
Hory sheeeet!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:39, archived)
I'm afraid so

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:40, archived)
haha
it's good to have them all in one place
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:40, archived)
I agree
www.amazon.com/The-Book-Lesbian-Horse-Stories/dp/0758202547
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:43, archived)

Customers who viewed this item also viewed...
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:46, archived)
I know!
That guy sure gets about
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:48, archived)
after what happened to my blog, no way

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:56, archived)
you pretended it was an April Fools Day joke
but we all know the truth
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:58, archived)
i am fluttershy

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:59, archived)
you love horses?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:58, archived)
best of all the animals

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:58, archived)
Fuck off

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:33, archived)
more car chat

FAVOURITE SHAPE WHEEL?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:35, archived)
roundish

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:38, archived)
cheese

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:41, archived)
assoo

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:50, archived)
OZ Turbines

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:05, archived)
Thats a hard one.
I'm torn between Ronal R10 and OZ Racing Rally
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:20, archived)
morning grrrbot

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:51, archived)
up yours

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:56, archived)
just so you know, i blame you for ruining my weekend

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:58, archived)
I'm glad I ruined your weekend, I'll think about that when I'm at the vinegars

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:01, archived)
id gaz the mods, but as they seem to allow any cunt to post here i wont bother

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:02, archived)
yeah, typical, whine to the mods, I'll think about that too

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:05, archived)
I'm past caring, i might go home

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:20, archived)
does not compute

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:05, archived)
you're really asking the wrong person here

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:52, archived)
Erotic fiction

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:58, archived)

www.kineticnorth.com/TheGutter/SlashFictionGenerator/Default.aspx?s=28&p0=75&p1=21&ff=0&mf=1&mm=0
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:03, archived)
wow

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:07, archived)
do you need a minute to compose yourself?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:07, archived)
I got Michael Winner and Jeremy Clarkson
:( :( :( :(
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:28, archived)
my god...

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:33, archived)
jade goody and noel edmonds
oh great, now i can't stand up for a while
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:09, archived)

www.kineticnorth.com/TheGutter/SlashFictionGenerator/Default.aspx?s=30&p0=24&p1=2&ff=0&mf=1&mm=0
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:09, archived)
Boris Johnson and Daz Sampson!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:29, archived)
i got harold shipman v britney spears

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:29, archived)
Brad Pitt and Stephen Hawking
and I'm out
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:31, archived)
Bear in mind how Stephen Hawking sounds when he "speaks"
"Ohhh... fuck!" he cried out as Brad filled him with his massive tool. Stephen's hand moved to his throbbing cock and he pinched the base. He didn't want to come. He wanted to wait and give his gift to Brad. "Harder Brad! Give me your cum. I need it baby," he shouted.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:33, archived)
ahahahaha

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:36, archived)
Nigella Lawson and Robert Mugabe, I might just delete the entire thing and write it off as a bad job

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:39, archived)
Nah, just add more celebrities
And B3tans.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:50, archived)
I would but that whole "can't be arsed" thing just kicked in, soz

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:52, archived)
Ah, fair enough

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:59, archived)
sarah fergie and barry chuckle :(((

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:42, archived)
you do know if you click "Slash me baby one more time" it selects new people?
I mean, you can't be so stupid that you don't realise that?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:49, archived)
I would ban Baldmonkey

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:00, archived)
I think multiple personae of Baldmonkey would ban Baldmonkey

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:11, archived)
What, all of us?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:14, archived)
you fucking tell him pigster!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:21, archived)
I'm in fucking Reading,
In a fucking harvester.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:01, archived)
+combine

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:16, archived)
I ate in a very nice place in Reading once, but I can't remember the name
Hope this helps
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:16, archived)
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared she is the podddington peas juniper jungle and the two bees; bee have and bee quiet.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:59, archived)
fuck you
cunt

I wish you were dead
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:01, archived)
You fucking liar

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:03, archived)
Stoppit and Tidyup

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:06, archived)
A viral campaign that would culiminate in a list of the times i'm likely to be on
and then sit back, and watch the masses flock to my musings.

Either that or make it a no holds barred image board as that has worked so well for 4chan.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:12, archived)
I wish MONO was here.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 7:48, archived)
As if by magic....

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 7:50, archived)
It's like I can see you come in the office.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 7:53, archived)
Good weekend?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 7:54, archived)
Yes. Very. Had some real life friends round and did making music in the loft.
It was all awful but very good fun.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 7:56, archived)
Why wasn't I invited?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:01, archived)
Because you are neither real nor life.
There is a link if you are like: www.youtu.be/pJKDQMTpNRE
Might work. might not.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:02, archived)
Oh.
Well that's a shame, cause I have a present for you.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:02, archived)
I heard gonzo shat in a carrier bag and it split open.
I miss all the good weekends.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:03, archived)
Great.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:09, archived)
I don't!!!
nah, he's alright that MONO!
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 7:56, archived)
Good banter, mmps.
Hey, I got a really good photo of a male and female blackbird next to each other yesterday.
I thought I'd copied it to the computer and then I deleted it from the camera but, you'll never guess what, I HADN'T copied it to the computer. Oh my life. What am I like?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 7:58, archived)
haha! that just sums up your crazy waki life right there.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:04, archived)
Also, had some pretzels that tasted of peas. Horrid things.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:07, archived)
oh man, you got the wrong pretzels.
you life is like a wallace and gromit cartoon or something.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:10, archived)
No he's not.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:01, archived)
he's going to fight himself, MONO! et MONO!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:05, archived)
Good one, Dad.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:09, archived)
Yes, I am a dad.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:11, archived)
he's going to fight a mod MONO! et mano.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:11, archived)
He's going to fight a 1970s rock group that I thought was an individual up until I just googled it; MONO! et Mungo

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:13, archived)
He's going to fight the most popular of the Hex-Bug series; MONO et Nano.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:15, archived)
He's going to become a racist and start attacking negroes; MONO et sambo.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:16, archived)
Christ alive. I'm 16 minutes into the working week and I already wish I was dead.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:16, archived)
I wish you were dead too.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:17, archived)
At least I've never got a stiffy from stroking a dog.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:23, archived)
you say that like it's a good thing.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:41, archived)
:'(
and I bet you don't have any trifle.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:17, archived)
two cereal bars, two packets of crisps, two cheese sandwiches, two cans of pepsi.
No trifle.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:20, archived)
fucking hell, you need some trifle.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:24, archived)
I've got eight consumable items but a trifle ain't one.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:28, archived)
You could make a trifle with that

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:27, archived)
he's going to have a south american dance-off, MONO! et mambo

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:16, archived)
he's going to fight a popular restaurant chain, MONO! et nando's

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:18, archived)
He's going to fight STDs; MONO et Gono
rrhea
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:22, archived)
He's going to fight the downfall of John Lennon; MONO et Ono

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:24, archived)
He's going to fight some audio connections; MONO et phono

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:25, archived)
He's going to fight a central american folk hero; MONO et Zorro?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:25, archived)
The biggest pricks on the planet are going to fight; MONO et Bono

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:26, archived)
He's going to fight a manufacturer of over-priced car-bling; MONO et MOMO

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:27, archived)
He's going to fight a small fish; MONO et Minnow

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:28, archived)
he's going to fight a music award, MONO! et MOBO

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:39, archived)
He's going to fight a violent central african country; MONO! et Congo

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:20, archived)
He going to fight a french bicycle; MONO et Velo
I think velo is french for bike. might be car. don't care really. isn't car voiture. dunno. might go for a shit.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:30, archived)
He's going to fight a marrow; mono et marrow
pain au. danno, cannon, shruggo
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:32, archived)
he's going to fight a kayak; mono et canoe

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:33, archived)
he's going to fight some drums, MONO! et bongo

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:40, archived)
he's going to fight a big nosed crooner, MONO! et Manilow

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:45, archived)
can I just point out at this stage that the original phrase is 'mano a mano', 'a' not 'et', so could mmps and baldmonkey please go back and edit all their posts to reflect this, cheers

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:26, archived)
You're such et prick sometimes.
Fuck off etnd leetve me etlone.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:32, archived)
you fett betllbetg

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:36, archived)
Bumplops.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:37, archived)
alright balders, i seen a chiken dun a sik at the weekend
you could put that on your blog but I didn't have a camera with me when the chiken dun a sik. saw lots of buzzards though, some green woodpeckers and a nuthatch.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:47, archived)
I'm sure I read somewhere that he had been killed in a fire

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:41, archived)
that's a lot of fat to burn
LOL!
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:43, archived)
It's true.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:45, archived)
Good morning two hats.
Thank you for the loan of your bass guitar.
I did a last.fm page for the things we made if you are interested however last.fm is a wanker so it doesn't work.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:08, archived)
Only just saw this, soz
No worries. I'll check it out in a mo.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:11, archived)
more like you wish mono was QUEER
ahahahahahahaha
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:54, archived)
MONO! is of a neutral sexuality
in that no-one will fucking touch him.

LOL!
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:56, archived)
Forced celibacy

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 8:57, archived)
I read that as celery and thought, you fiend!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:00, archived)
i read that as celebrity and thought, you fiend!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:03, archived)
Real Forced Lonliness

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:06, archived)
i read that as lioness and thought, you fiend!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:08, archived)
Soz. I meant "true forced loneliness"
You should totes look it up on youtube.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:11, archived)

"A term and a movement that was started by a man named Bill Greathouse (Bill1224602 on You Tube) that basically describes people that are "forced" to be alone because they perceive other women (or men in some cases) to be rejecting them because they are too shallow. They seem to think that they are entitled to have a woman or man."
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:12, archived)
A 'movement'?
Mental disorder more like
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:14, archived)
Oh, for serious.
You should see some of their wobbling ranty mouth-to-webcam sexy action.
It's a sort of comic-tragedy.
They make gonzo look like a catch.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:16, archived)
That's twice already today that I've been horrid to gonzo.
Dunno why. We've been getting on fine lately.
Soz Goz.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:18, archived)
Watching some now
It doesn't occur to them that desperation is probably to blame for most of their problems?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:20, archived)
Oh for goodness sake
Of COURSE people immediately judge you on your looks...that's human nature. People can become more or less attractive as you get to know them, but your first reaction has to be based on how they look.
What a prick.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:23, archived)
Yeah.
It's best to view it as a joke; if you start trying to list all the things they say and do which are mental and incorrect, you'll never get anything else done ever again.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:31, archived)
No, I'm starting to see that
Wow. Sad really.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:34, archived)
Not sad. Pathetic.They should be dead.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:36, archived)
Well I can't think of a better solution

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:41, archived)
i read that as jizz in my eye and thought, you fiend!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:09, archived)
Oh, so it appears that the most talented person in Britain
is a dog
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:14, archived)
We should be on bgt.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:17, archived)
I mentioned this possibility to my boss
and he pretty much demanded that we do it. I don't see how I have any other choice. He could fire me you know.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:22, archived)
I'll do it if he gives me a part time admin job.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:23, archived)
Well I'll ask him
but I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:24, archived)
3 days a week at minimum wage.
That's not going to put a dent in his budget. He must need some spreadsheets or something.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:26, archived)
Can I wear a jumpsuit and be in a large flower pot which has a trampoline concealed in the bottom?
While stabbing up a wax horse.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:25, archived)
I'd be disappointed if you didn't
These TFL guys are fucking nuts. I wouldn't be at all surprised if some of them were quite dangerous.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:27, archived)
There's a fat one with dark skin who seems particularly rapist.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:29, archived)
Or throwing frozen watermelons into one of those tree chippers which is pointed at a timpani drum.
And you play a miniature pipe organ with bubble solution poured in all the pipes.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:28, archived)
LOL!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:22, archived)
What does RIS mean?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:39, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RIS_(disambiguation)
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:40, archived)
i think it's most likely to be reservoir induced seismicity

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:42, archived)
What does "moderator" mean?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:42, archived)
fucked if i know

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:49, archived)
I rest my case.
BALDMONKEY FOR MOD!
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:04, archived)
hahahaha ha haha ha
as if
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:14, archived)
The day Baldmonkey becomes a mod
is the day I take the pills
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:18, archived)
the fact that he thinks i'm a rubbish mod means i must be doing something right

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:58, archived)
What does 'giant hippy' mean?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:45, archived)
What does "downs wookie" mean?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:45, archived)
What does "shit up a rope" mean?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:48, archived)
Lots Of Love?
Are you gay for baldmonkey or summfink?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:40, archived)
YES!!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:01, archived)
why are you excluding the lesbians? what's so wrong with lesbians eh? you RACIST

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:49, archived)
No such thing. VR said so.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:51, archived)
VR? whodat?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:55, archived)
How dare you sir
The Empress of India
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:56, archived)
FFS.
HRH.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:03, archived)
What-o, chaps

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:43, archived)
Just fucking die.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:46, archived)
What can I do to make you happy?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:55, archived)
his wife often asks the same question

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:56, archived)
I was going to turn it into a Corrs song
But that's just been RUINED now, cheers!
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:03, archived)
morning adam!
going out now, bye adam!
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:56, archived)
Hi spe-aww he's gone :(

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:01, archived)
oh ffs, why are you always so mean!
please stop trolling us :'(
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:04, archived)
A big 'orrible case of haters hatin', right here.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:15, archived)
oh man :'(

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:16, archived)
Shit, I forgot to put my Legal Aid hat on
I can't bill for this! FFFFFFFFFFFU-
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:22, archived)
it started on me last night for no reason, as if i hadn't suffered enough

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:17, archived)
I saw that mongy.
I dunno why he was trolling on you, so mean :'(
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:17, archived)
what's the best prostitute you've used in the past three months?
cassandra, north london. she doesn't like taking off her knickers and her tits look a bit loose, but if you can't afford the hilton you may as well settle for pontins
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 3:14, archived)
I can easily believe that you need to use prostitutes.
Kindly sleaze back off to PunterNet. Or Mumsnet. Just anywhere else.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 3:41, archived)
i know the score mister policeman sir officer sir man, i'll just drop this fiver on't floor and maybe you'll forget all about it

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 3:53, archived)
I am not a police officer.
Before anyone suggests I am Impersonating A Police Officer.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 4:30, archived)
Apparently my wife
Ask Mr. Shoes, he has first hand experience.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 4:04, archived)
I just said she liked loads of cock.
you're the one that said she was a prozzie.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 7:26, archived)
MAYDAY
we are under attack, we have harry potter hobbit furry vampire zombie anime nonces

point to your right, that is your weapon

point to you left, that is your defence

i've got a can of spray glue and a occasional table, table cloth

how fucked ar you?
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:49, archived)
Nobody cares.
No offence
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:52, archived)
that's a bit harsh, what have i ever done to you?

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:54, archived)
Can't you read?
No....Offence!
Ffs...
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:56, archived)
i'm not sure insulting someone and then adding an arbitary disclaimer is suffiecient to work

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:57, archived)
HAHAHA!!
Hello frisbee face.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 0:03, archived)
*belms* Wotcher, Brizzlepants :P

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:16, archived)
I shall attack them with a rocking chair
and defend myself with a mobile phone. I'm fucked.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:57, archived)
you can chair them right the fuck up

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:58, archived)
It does have 2 pointy legs
and it's fucking heavy. There might be hope yet!
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 0:00, archived)
no retreat, no surrender

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 0:02, archived)
I would call for help
but all those idiots WITHOUT a rocking chair will be clogging up the lines.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 0:04, archived)
chair fails, let them die

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 0:19, archived)
We did this last time
And my desk is still arranged in the same way.
Do I lift my arms 90 degrees to my torso on both planes and then pick something, or just spaz my arms in the general direction of left/right and pick something that may be of some vague use?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 0:34, archived)
you're fucked, no offence

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 0:39, archived)
Oh fuck off
I call keyses on this game
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 0:42, archived)
I've got a draw full of clean underwear and a box of tissues.
Sorted!
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 1:02, archived)
you don't seriously expect me to believe that spray glue and table story do you? after all we've been through?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 1:28, archived)
I have a MP5 as a weapon and a riot shield as my defence.
Bring it on.

Working in a police station FTW.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 2:27, archived)
I found a load of old CDs in a cupboard that was behind a cupboard today
I now have Squeeze's greatest hits on and although I knew some of their songs it seems they have done a lot that I knew, but didn't know who did them.

I'm probably due my own reality TV show now.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:15, archived)
why is there a seven year old photo of you in your profile?
are you all rough now?
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:17, archived)
Yes, rough as old boots, haggard
I look like this now: i1.cdnds.net/09/48/550w_dsicons_grotbags_3.jpg
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:21, archived)
hmmm
i'd still chuck one up you
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:25, archived)
Dear god

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:26, archived)
He's a smoothy, watch out for that one..

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:27, archived)
I don't know if it was a the pause of 'hmmm'
or the insinuation that he could 'chuck it', but either way i'm hot for him.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:29, archived)
Get to the back of the line...
he's got the whole of /links wanting a piece of that sweet ass...
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:33, archived)
haha
one throwaway comment and Wil has a little hissy fit. couldn't leave that bait alone
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:34, archived)
He loves you really...

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:41, archived)
sweet ass, you say?
You may have to fight me for him.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:35, archived)
it's not particularly sweet
it has a vinegary tang at the minute
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:44, archived)
You just get better!

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:45, archived)
i'm a right catch
but at least i'm not living 7 years in the past
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:48, archived)
They were my glory days
now i live in a Paris hotel room wearing support tights, smoking non-filter tips and waiting for a millionaire playboy from Monaco to pick me up.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:51, archived)
Peter Sarstedt wrote a song about you

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:56, archived)
ROFL
I had heard that today on the radio
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:57, archived)
WAIT IM HERE NOW LADIES WHO WANTS A GO ON MY NOB

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:46, archived)
it's mictoboy or nothing for me

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:49, archived)
gaz me your address
if you're less than an hour's drive away, i'll pop round
i'll even wash my nob in the sink first
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:50, archived)
my sink or your sink?

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:52, archived)
jesus
i won't bother if you're going to be fussy
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:53, archived)
LUCKY 4 U MY NOB IS THE SIZE AND SHAPE OF MICTOBOY

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:50, archived)
Pics or GTFO

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:52, archived)

mictoboy.co.uk/other/mictohell.jpg
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:53, archived)
Oooooh. Nobbly.

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:56, archived)
Have you learned how to put on lipstick yet?
You look like one of those frightmodel glamour kids that American moms inflict on the universe.

No'ffence like.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:39, archived)
None taken
When you do performances such as dance you have to over-egg it sometimes so it shows up in contrast with the lighting.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:40, archived)
That's not over-egged.
That's like you've fallen pucker first into a jam tart.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:42, archived)
It looked fine at the time
Maybe I just have huge lips.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:43, archived)
What
about
the
ones
on
your
face?
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:46, archived)
are we doing vagina jokes now?

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:48, archived)
I know a cunt with a wooden leg by the name of smith

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:50, archived)
what's his other leg called?

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:54, archived)
*QI KLAXXONS*

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:00, archived)
lies

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:54, archived)
you are a cunt

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:53, archived)
no, youn are

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:56, archived)
Play This Summer.
I like that song.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:19, archived)
I don't like Squeeze
I stumbled across a set of theirs at a festival last year and didn't enjoy it but was waiting for the next band so put up with it. Luckily I only had to listen to Up the Junction and something else.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:19, archived)
Eugh
What's wrong with you?
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:25, archived)
I cut my lip yesterday :(

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:33, archived)
Can I kiss it better?

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:40, archived)
Only if you borrow some of misuss's lipstick

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:43, archived)
I can't top Dr.S's offer.
Go for it. I hear he is a master of healing.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:42, archived)
BUBLE BUBLE BUBLE

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:50, archived)
How COULD YOU.

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:53, archived)
well their sound was never distinct was it, you fucking ear failure

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:22, archived)
I now love them
L O V E
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:23, archived)
Why did you get a CD of Squeeze and then never listen to it?

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:25, archived)
It belonged to someone who lived here before me. I put in my own furniture in a rush and never got around to moving it about
Frankly i'm glad it was only a bunch of middle of the road CDs and not a human limb
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:28, archived)
No way
a human limb would have been WAY more fun.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:33, archived)
I moved in 5 years ago
Still want it?
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:35, archived)
I have my own Squeeze CD thanks.

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:41, archived)
I know all the words to 'Cool for Cats'
That's pretty cool right?
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:29, archived)
Why not!

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:29, archived)
I can sing it for you now if you like!
*takes deep breath*
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:31, archived)
Theindianssendsignalsfromtherocksabovethepassthecowboystakepositionsinthebushesandthegrass.
Thesquawiswiththecorporalsheistiedagainstatreeshedoesn'tmindthelanguageit'sthebeatingsshedon'tneedsheletslooseallthehorseswhilethecorporalisasleepandhewakestofindthefire'sdeadandarrowsinhishatanddaveycrockettridesaroundandsaysit'scoolforcatsit'scoolforcats.
Cool for cats!
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:33, archived)
That's, err, special

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:36, archived)
I also know all the words to 'Jump Around' by House of Pain and 'Intergalactic by the Beastie Boys.
I also use to be able to quote every line from Transformers The Movie but then I killed off the bit of my brain that remembered it with too much alcohol and now I can only remember the rude lines :(
Also I like to stack things.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:41, archived)
Can you pass the keyboard to the person who looks after you?

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:42, archived)
What are your favourite shapes? Mine are ovals and Rhombicosidodecahedrons.

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:46, archived)
I'd like to learn the words to Jump Around and plummily enunciate them
next time I'm MCing one of them big conferences after lunch.

Need someone to do the screaming bits inbetwixt though.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 2:26, archived)
I know all the words and all the guitar chords for They Might Be Giants first three albums
you jelly?
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:48, archived)
Surely by now they should have established whether they are giants or not.
It's an enduring mystery of music
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:51, archived)
not to put too fine a point on it
say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
make a little birdhouse in your soul
while you're at it
keep the nightlight on inside the birdhouse in your soul
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:52, archived)
Shame they are shit

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:54, archived)
crikey you know sometimes you really know shit about a band why you always trash talking you know nothing about it

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:55, archived)
I don't like them and I can not like them if I want I have heard them and i think they are shit alright

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:02, archived)
yeh stop trollin

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:39, archived)
i'd hoped theyd died of aids by now

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:57, archived)
OBJECTION!
Gilgy has taste, here.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:57, archived)
I object to your objection.

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:59, archived)
BUBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:03, archived)
AND?
What exactly does me fancying Buble have to do with ANYTHING? SHUT UP.
Last time I am telling you anything.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:05, archived)
i just haven't met you yet

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:12, archived)
Even with numerous invites to you
for coming over the bridge. It's like you can't be arsed or summat.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:17, archived)
oh right claim you invite me instead of actually inviting me anywhere as everyone always does

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:26, archived)
Oh damn you got me...
don't ever come across the bridge. Your not welcome.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:34, archived)
yeh i know

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:40, archived)
Good.
I won't claim to ever invite you again then.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:44, archived)
i dont see how that changes anything

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:46, archived)
I am not going to entertain your ridiculousness any longer.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 0:01, archived)
OBJECTION!
tmbw.net/wiki/Lyrics:Someone_Keeps_Moving_My_Chair
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:04, archived)
this is your god now
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUwvhOaojoc
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:55, archived)
if the ichtysore had frank zappas voice that'd be way better

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:58, archived)
you like jethro tull

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:01, archived)
i know all the words to sheila by jamie t
the full album version too not the single release
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:55, archived)
I know all the words to Tijuana Taxi by Herb Alpert.

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:06, archived)
when i was 15 i could play the bassline to every song on the red hot chilli peppers album about californication
but i cant now
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:11, archived)
You should have tried Level 42 songs
now THAT would have been hard.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 23:22, archived)
alright
www.b3mused.com/audios/554/k.html
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:38, archived)

Porn link
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:44, archived)
jewtube :(

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:58, archived)
not sure I can believe anything you say, soz

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:44, archived)
lies

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:54, archived)
Alright mongy
Deadwood is on here and they say 'cunt' a hell of a lot.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:47, archived)
it is rather blue

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:54, archived)
I'm not sure my child should be watching it..

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:05, archived)
film four is about to show an hermaphrodites tits

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:06, archived)
now

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:11, archived)
His response is 'yeah whatever, seen that shit before'
He's a cunt and no mistake mongy.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:11, archived)
poor jamie lee curtis :(

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:17, archived)
She married a lord so I dunno about feeling sorry for her.

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:23, archived)
he's not a lord anymore

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:26, archived)
She married a lord though right?

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:29, archived)
he's not a lord any more

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:35, archived)
Shut up mardy bum.

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:45, archived)
i'm not mardy

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:49, archived)
nicking mags idea
www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7sesyRA1t8#t=19s
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:48, archived)
jewube :(

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:55, archived)
how do you promounce 'jewube'?

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:57, archived)
it's pronounced 'bumhole'

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:58, archived)
i'll tell you something.
/links is proper shit tonight
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:58, archived)
you might be able to answer this, when did b3ta start allowing this
www.b3ta.com/board/10767277
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:02, archived)
him, piecomic, wilmot. chopchop all dull cunts spamming their own shit
dull dull dull
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:04, archived)
but this is paid for by the dailymash, that cant be right

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:05, archived)
yeah i dunno

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:08, archived)
robs probably getting cash out of it

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:10, archived)
doubt it
he's not clued up enough for paid posts
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:12, archived)
Alright Mongy, how the weekend been?

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:50, archived)
SADTIMES :(

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:56, archived)
Iwas late to the last thread which was about being manly,
so right up my street. And now that you've started this thread there's not chance of me being able to join in that one. It's all a bit of a shame.

I haven't been near any supermarkets today.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:51, archived)
Ok, i'll bite.
What manly things have you been maning this weekend?
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:55, archived)
Oh you cunt you couldn't even be arsed to scroll down and see that I was questioning the premise of feeling manly after doing weekend stuff.
What a fucking rotter.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:57, archived)
Oi
call me a rotter in the alright thread.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:23, archived)
SADTIMES :(

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:57, archived)
Yeah,
but let's focus on the positives. I haven't busted any bags today.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:00, archived)
wagwan

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:52, archived)
it's spelled 'wigwam'

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:53, archived)
haha no i meant wagwan not wigwam haha

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:03, archived)
aha, gotcha

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:05, archived)
chillin

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:57, archived)
illin

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:03, archived)
yo m

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:56, archived)
alright spesh

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:58, archived)
all cool in da hood

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:59, archived)
Hallo special hulk knees!

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:02, archived)
oh hello

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:13, archived)
sup

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:08, archived)
4th place eh, dodgy

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:18, archived)
Hello everyone, I used an angle grinder this evening and felt all manly
what manly stuff have you done this weekend (other than masturbating whilst watching your neighbour hang out her knickers)?
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:36, archived)
wanking in the changing rooms in charity shops
/ac
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:37, archived)
Hi horrible
I hope you at least bought a jigsaw. Maybe a nice one of a yacht or a hot-air balloon
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:39, archived)
I'll be honest here, no use lying.
But I love a jigsaw
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:40, archived)
they can be jolly good fun can't they
unless there's a piece missing. GRRR!
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:46, archived)
There's always that risk with the charity shop purchase
but I find it part of the fun!
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:49, archived)
like a very long game of Russian Roulette

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:52, archived)
I bought a donkey jacket, an inflatable swimming ring and 10 old 90s cds that nobody likes
that's my christmas list taken care of, and a quick one knocked off in the process
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:41, archived)
BONUS!

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:49, archived)
What is you?

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:37, archived)
just some guy on the internet
you know the sort of thing
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:41, archived)
sprayed isocynate paint and then flatted it down with a DA sander
I'm done with welding now
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:40, archived)
I hope you eschewed all safety gear such as the appropriate breathing apparatus
for extra man-points
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:45, archived)
I don't get it Grrrmachine.
Why does doing a bit of DIY or using a power tool make people feel manly? Does it make women feel manly? I never feel manly when I use a power tool.*

*I never do any DIY.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:23, archived)
Bought some tile edging stuff
as the tiler had run out.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:41, archived)
metal or plastic?

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:48, archived)
Plastic
6mm, white.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:49, archived)
classic

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:52, archived)
Fuck all Gruffi
Fuck all.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:45, archived)
nothing at all?
not even kicked the tyre of a van or made an extra strong cup of tea?
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:53, archived)
I have been ladying it up if that helps
you know being hysterical and fainting and stuff.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:56, archived)
oh ok
were you revived by a dashing gentleman wearing a hat?
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:58, archived)
Why yes!
and as a thank you I twiddled his moustache.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:06, archived)
i cuddled my dog

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:46, archived)
I think you're in the wrong thread

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:49, archived)
i cooked a rice dish

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:49, archived)
you should probably start a thread asking what puffy things people have done today

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:50, archived)
i masturbated to some gay porn

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:52, archived)
I bet it was fat german blokes weeing on each other
you fucking sicken me you do
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:54, archived)
so how about them knicks?

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:57, archived)
how about them!

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:58, archived)
well, they are man's best friend
can your dog dance and do tricks like that one that just won Britain's Got Talent and pocketed a cool 500,000?
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:51, archived)
is this some itv thing?

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:01, archived)
apparently*
*yes
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:09, archived)
i dont an telly soz

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:12, archived)
I built and installed a replacement LED board for a Roland FC100 footpedal
and did a massive steaming plop that took three flushes to shift
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:48, archived)
that sounds amazing!
judging my the smells emanating from my arse, I think I have an appointment to park an otter too
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:55, archived)
a few months back I did a plop that properly backed up the drains here
the landlord sent Dynorod round and he was there trying with a plunger and he was like woah, not shifting it, better look outside so he opened up the drain cover and he said it was, get this, the most badly blocked drain he'd ever seen and he had to send for the van with the pressure hose and they'd probably have to, wait for it, shovel it out

I was so proud
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:57, archived)
I wish I'd used that post to start a new thread now

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:57, archived)
an opportunity wasted

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:00, archived)
all lies

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:08, archived)
i built a workbench

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:58, archived)
nice. did you get any splinters?

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:00, archived)
nope
and it's the 3rd woodwork project in a row that i haven't bled on.

the first three bits of woodwork i haven't bled on in my entire fucking life
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:14, archived)
:)

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 22:15, archived)
i was a fat german gay bloke pissing in a film ssg masterbated over

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:58, archived)
I'll have to try that myself some day
it sounds fun
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:02, archived)
oh man, manchester towns done winning a cup today!
what have you done recently that's full of win?
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 18:35, archived)
fergie said man city bought the title,
but man united spent more money on their team, i dont get it
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 18:36, archived)
me neither ssg!
I'm not smart enough for these football mind games :'(
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 18:45, archived)
i suspect he's just jelly

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:08, archived)
yeah, he's all like >:|

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:09, archived)
loadsa jelly in his belly!

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:15, archived)
LOL!!! he's all wobbly from all da jelly!

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:17, archived)
nothing, got mugged off by the coop, and just paid 40 quid to watch 2 hours of shit, sadtimes

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 18:49, archived)
What's the coop mongy?

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 18:54, archived)
i tell you what it aint, it aint a place that values customers who wish to use a carrier bag to take a saturday treat of a carton of ribena home

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 18:57, archived)
I bet that fair ruined your Saturday
bastards. I would take your hard earned cash elsewhere..
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:03, archived)
it was horrble, 've emaled them, and provided links, as of yet i have heard nothing, it is my local shop, fuck all else nearby and i dont do supermarkets

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:06, archived)
You should at least get a voucher for some free crisps or something.

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:31, archived)
Wait a sec..... Were you going to take your own drink into the picture house?
And if the film was free, would you have enjoyed it more?
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:44, archived)
i only smuggle booze in, and no, the film wasnt that good, over long, the best bit was my daughter asking afterwards why spiderman doesn't help, i lol'd

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:53, archived)
so you got mugged twice then.
sadtimes :(
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 18:54, archived)
i did just drink a ribena while shopping for my ready meals, i didn't pay for it, they fucking owed me one, and later on i'm gonna download loads of films, that'll learn em

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 18:56, archived)
yeah! fuck em.

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 18:58, archived)
Fuck all marky mo.
Fuck all.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 18:52, archived)
:'(

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 18:54, archived)

:-[
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:17, archived)
turn that frown upside down herb! have a trifle.

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:20, archived)
Oh go on then...:-)

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:28, archived)
\o/

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:40, archived)
drove from Bristol to Leicester
having not driven for 18 months and not been on the motorway for more than 10 minutes before.
Which isn't much of an achievement for most people that drive. But I got a free car out of it.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 18:56, archived)
sounds like you stole a car.
did you steal a car?
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 18:59, archived)
The Boy's dad gave it to us for free
as he's bought a new one, and we could drive it back
a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/p480x480/550190_3962886278408_1467885253_3484316_533547973_n.jpg

got the Kosovans to give it a wash and polish too!
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:00, archived)
i have an estate focus, good motors

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:02, archived)
his dad's just bought a C-Max which is very nice
and I drive focus estates for work. I think the corporate fleet has 3-400 of them. They take a lot of abuse.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:02, archived)
you appear to be shit at counting

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:05, archived)
you should gaz grrry about this.
he could help you pimp it out, with lowriders and spinning rims and hydraulics and that.

rims LOL, cause you're gay and that.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:04, archived)
grrr will want to put some nice carpets and a lava lamp in it, he loves those

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:07, archived)
is grrry a gay too?

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:15, archived)
i've always assumed grrr is just a forum bot, cr3 probably coded him

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:16, archived)
oh man, I never guess these things :(
always the last to know.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:18, archived)
fuck you, I thought I was a mate
sad times :(
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:10, archived)
I told him I want at LEAST fuzzy dice
not even allowed those!
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:10, archived)
you can get geek dice
www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/7ccc/
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:13, archived)
ha! get in

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:33, archived)
he's such a car nazi.
amazing that he hates beetles really.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:24, archived)
can gays steal cars? i'm no genetic doctor or shit

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:01, archived)
I went camping and seen a chiken dUn a siK

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:27, archived)
you should have taken a photo and sent it to BM for his shit blog.

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:40, archived)
It dun projectile vomiting

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:52, archived)
O< =====#

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:17, archived)
i got a free doughnut out of a child's misery

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:10, archived)
was it your child?

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:18, archived)
no

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:26, archived)
oh, well thanks lightguy, thightguy

(, Sun 13 May 2012, 20:31, archived)

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