Warning: this is a shit and boring question.
Moral dilemma:

I know I’m a spastic for asking the internet for advice on such a matter but I am looking for third party opinions as I cannot work out what to do here.

My kid’s nearly four. She’s never stayed at my house even though there’s nothing wrong with it at all – it’s clean and tidy, there's nothing hazardous about it and it's only a few minutes down the road from my ex's. I told her today that I wanted to talk about my kid staying and her reply was ‘talk to a solicitor’. The only way I can afford to take her back to court is if I use my maintenance money to pay for it. There is no other way (Blur's etc).

Should I just take it on the chin and keep on putting up with my three hours a week of court ordered access, or potentially cause short-term suffering in the cause of the long term good?

I really don’t know what to do here. I’ve tried deleting my account etc – also my mum etc.

Thanks.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:53, 229 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

could somebody start a decent thread today please?

(Battered., Tue 8 May 2012, 14:15, 110 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

could somebody start a decent thread today please?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:11, 46 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

A friend of mine is working thi sevent as a steward:
http://www.erotic-awards.co.uk/ (NSFW)
You can take it as read that I'm calling him a massive sweaty pervert. Aside from the awards ceremony, which seems to be a Baftas for the Sex Industry, there is a giant party and orgy afterwards.
He says he does it because it's nice to help disabled dwarves have a good time. (though as far as I know he really is just a steward and not a participant)

Among the famous guests for the awards ceremony are northern writer and general luvvie Alan Bennett, and porn director Ben Dover.

What two weird famous people do you think should get together and go out? I reckon Prince Phillip and Sly Stallone's mum would have an interesting evening.

Alt: lunch, or whatever. I don't care.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 May 2012, 12:46, 101 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Morning benders
If you had to choose forever between books and music, which would it be? Answer and pose your own dilemma in your reply.

Alt: what was the last lie you told?

Alt alt: did you get away with it??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 May 2012, 8:14, 140 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

You there. Yes, you.
Hello. How's your evening going? I'm having a brilliant time staring blankly at a load of bedsteads. Where did you get your bed from? I've looked in Argos, Dreams, John Lewis, even random ones like monsterbeds.co.uk but they're either all metal, awful value, poor quality pine or have slats/poles instead a solid headboard. Ffs.

Have an alt: What's the best dream you've ever had?
( Bats, Mon 7 May 2012, 20:56, 8 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Back to work tomorrow for all you 9-5'ers.
Are your loins girded? How does one go about girding loins anyway?

Alt:- how long now before the Coalition implodes? TD predicts another General Election within 12 months.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 7 May 2012, 18:35, 10 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Alright, I'll start the day then.
I had such plans for today. I was going to study and get notes done, and read some chapters of my text books. What have I done instead? slept, had numerous cups of tea and moped about on the internet all day.

What are your plans for today, and how will they most likely be scuppered?

alt, blah blah, something about the antipodes.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 7 May 2012, 9:32, 91 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I did it, I bought it.... I'll have the new iphone this week.
I'm using a combination of excuses, what one would you like to hear? I got a few lined up.

You alright?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 6 May 2012, 15:22, 45 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hey
I just want you to know
If I ever meet 90Nz0 I'm totally gonna kiss his face
( Lisette von Falcon, Sun 6 May 2012, 8:21, 5 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

It's Saturday. It hasn't started raining (yet) and the sun is shining
What will all of us pasty-faced internet shut-ins do on a bank holiday weekend?
Alt: Any good events going on near you? I've got a beer festival AND a Kit Car show!!
Alt alt: Will you be having a mahoosive meal to celebrate the bank holiday? If so, what?

Have fun
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 5 May 2012, 10:19, 60 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Alright, what happened there?
Friday night bollocks thread.

I'm starting with this, which may well be hugely glasscock.

Where's my homies? Where's my bitches? Where's my cuppa?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 May 2012, 20:06, 95 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Friday afternoon thread
It has conked out big style on here. Free for all topic. Talk shite please, ladies and gentlemen
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 May 2012, 14:36, 175 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I've had a really productive morning* so I'm sacking off revision for the rest of the day. Got a problem with that?
What's the stupidest injury you've ever had and did you cause it yourself? I stabbed myself through the foot with a garden fork once. That fucking stung.

ALT: If you could "borrow" any celebrity voice for a day who would it be? Mine would be Schwarznegger def.

*Sorry Monty
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 4 May 2012, 12:23, 107 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

OK who's up for an OceanB4$H?
That thread was dead and I cannot think of a proper question. Soz.

EDIT I think chorizo is hugely overrated. What do YOU think is hugely overrated?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 May 2012, 10:29, 16 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Morning all!
It's Friday, it's almost 7am, it's knackerjack!

I am in a tremendously good mood this morning for some reason. My bosses are away for 2 weeks so I'm THE BOSS

Are you a boss? Nicest/nastiest things done by your bosses? Friday also means a lunchtime pint as it has just been payday too

Alt:
Weekend plans. Cat rape? A little Internet stalking? Pub? Anyone?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 May 2012, 6:52, 216 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Anyone up for seeing The Offspring at Shepherd's Bush O2 ? I'm getting tickets the day I decide to take up a job.
I donno who's up for it, but I really wanna go to their concert, I haven't been to a stage performance like this before, but I'd fucking love it. Do you get seats and galaxy minstrals and a brochure? Do you think they'd be t-shirts and stuff too? I really wanna go.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 3 May 2012, 18:34, 147 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

1 hour to go
how are you going to pass the time?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 3 May 2012, 16:26, 107 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

*looks around furtively*
Hello? Anyone here?

Where have all the /offtopic posters gone?

I see that fat cockerney gobshite Adele has now outsold Thriller, according to the BBC website. Tell me some facts that astounded you

Alt:
Just fucking post something.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 13:49, 191 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

New Question of the Week vote
HERE for the next hour or so
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 3 May 2012, 12:17, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

So, I am sitting here waiting for someone to turn up for an appointment.
They need something from me for their client. They are 42 minutes late. How rude is that? What's the rudest most ignorant thing you have done/had done to you in the workplace?

Alt: Too early for lunch thread?

Alt alt: My mate has a car for sale that I am thinking about buying. Is this a bad idea?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 May 2012, 11:44, 125 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hello
happy thursday everyone, are you all pleased to be at work?

Is this the best drinking game ever? www.sbs.com.au/news/article/1647415/Concern-over-teen-drinking-game-possum
I think it is, TR33B@5H
(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 May 2012, 10:21, 127 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Worst bank holiday experiences
So this weekend promises to be full of shit weather & traffic jams; same as most bank holidays. What's the worst one you can remember?

Alt: for those of you that have actually lost your virginity: how did it go? Massive disaster? Perhaps you'd spent some much time wanking in the previous few years you found it difficult to play with real 'bits' instead? Or did you go off after 15 seconds? How old were you? Al - no need to answer this as we know you were 33.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 3 May 2012, 8:05, 207 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Old stuff:
I finally needed the 3.5" floppys I have been hanging onto for the last ten years this morning. What have you been holding onto just in case?

Alt: How old is your computer?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 2 May 2012, 18:44, 66 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Would you believe, they put a man on the moon?
Would you also believe that I just had your mum up the old 'Bourneville Boulevard' and nearly got my bollocks in too?

You should do, because it's true. Her gaping 'Gadd' is fucking ruined. Her farts just sound like yawns now. Like a broken hovercraft.

EDIT: make up a plausible term for a deviant sexual act. I just made up 'the hairy sunglasses'. Now you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:52, 126 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

It's getting to the post-prandial snooze time.
How do you kill a boring afternoon? Answers of "Your mum", will be discounted.
Alt, why do we bother? Really?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 2 May 2012, 14:06, 232 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Unpleasant colleagues
There is a woman in my office (same grade as me so I can’t fire her) who has the worst interpersonal skills of anyone I have ever encountered. She makes her team miserable by the way she talks to them and others despair of her. She has been told repeatedly that she needs to get a grip on this but doesn’t seem to care. I’d like her to go (for the sake of her team) but can’t formally influence anything. What would you do?

Alt: your colleagues; good, bad or indifferent?

Alt Alt: unemployed? Why haven’t you got a job?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 May 2012, 12:49, 101 replies, latest was 12 years ago)