When you buy a pair of shoes with laces,
why are they always laced up in such a nonsense way?
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

because the world hates you.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

Well that's certainly one possibility.
Let's take that on board.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

the last pair i bought had odd laces.
One was green, the other was white. I've not yet been able to wear them out in polite society
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

So they can cut it off your foot if you break yourself in the shoe shop

( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

I like this answer
I so want it to be true
( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

I don't think the last pair of trainers I bought were even laced, I had to do it.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

The last pair I bought were laced with ribbon.
Bollocks to that, I put proper laces in.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

Made out of a single mink hair?

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

Do you buy Polly Pocket dolls
and wear the little rubber outfits yourself ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

yeah
they're pretty damn sexy
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

Working in a shoe shop
is the new "care in the community"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

Because that's the way they do it in China.

( thealternativefact, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

Laces?
I've barely mastered slip-ons let alone velcro.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

Laces
are how the chinese find out which of them is fastest.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

Lacist.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

PLAWN CLACKAH !

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

are your shoes also three sizes too big and stuffed with cotton wool at the ends?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

From now on they will be!

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

Are they always?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

In my experience,
as far back as I can remember.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

Never mind that, what I want to know is why they invariably snap after a few months' wear and tear.

(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Tue 12 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

SAUSAGE FINGERS

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

I do boring cross lacing.
www.fieggen.com/shoelace/lacingmethods.htm
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

I've just done Display Shoe Lacing.
I've done Straight (Bar) Lacing before.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

It appears I do shoe shop lacing
This is thrilling
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

I don't like shoe shop lacing
you gradually pull out more lace one side than the other.

I need a sit down and a rest, this is too much.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

That is its only downfall
I do like its tidy efficiency though.

*comas*
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

One handed lacing eh?
EH?
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

No idea.
I don't buy shoes with laces though really. My shoes today are pink and slippery.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 12 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

I've got cowboy boots on.
Slippery how? Like bacon?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

No, they look like princess slippers. They're very cute.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 12 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

Where are they from?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

Topshop I think. Or maybe somewhere forrin.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 12 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

Also topshop. Fancy.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

That is one of my very favourite jokes.

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

What's pink and slippery ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

A teabag!

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

I never do my high top cons up to the top so I can roll them down and look uber fashionable and cool.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

roll your jacket sleeves up too,
and wear a tiny hat balanced on the crown of your head.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

I'm the most popular kid at school

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

LIKE FIRE
HELLFIRE

THIS FIRE IN MY SKIN


Disney song thread.
~Which do you like?
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

I can't think of a single Disney song that I like.
I'm sure I don't mind them, but like is a bit strong.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:36, archived)

Not even hawaiian rollercoaster ride?

( Rev. Cleo still alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

No, not even hawaiian rollercoaster ride.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

Such a grump

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

What does that make me a grump?
Because I don't like mediocre music?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:41, archived)

nope
just cos you are.
( jenpots, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

I'm not grumpy.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

aren't you?
My mistake then.
( jenpots, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

Yes, your mistake.
Cunt.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

so's your face
cunt
( jenpots, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

... My face is your mistake?
...Mum?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

shush
don't tell everyone.
( jenpots, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

You must be old.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

I am
very...... well, 31.
( jenpots, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:08, archived)

You had me when you were 10?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

yep!

( jenpots, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

She had everyone when you were ten

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:17, archived)

are you my daddy?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

Usually

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

It's an easy mistake to make.
I could have sworn...
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

Journey to the West
Disney own the western distribution rights.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:37, archived)

I did not know that.

( Rev. Cleo still alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

I can't think of any
but there's lots of Disney I haven't watched, because Disney films are horrid.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:37, archived)

The ones they make are bad
The ones they stick their name on but have nothing to do with are good.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

Such as?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

Cum guzzling sluts part 4:
Minnie does bukkake
(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:41, archived)

Not real.
images.google.com/images?q=minnie+mouse+bukkake&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

Damn
you saw through my cunning ruse.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

There are a few
Monsters Inc
Finding Nemo
The Incredibles
Princess Mononoke
Spirited Away
Howl's moving castle
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

I thought those were Ghibli? (the end ones)
ah, I get confused. My head feels like it's full of polleny custard today.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

They are Ghibli
But disney distribute them outside Japan.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

You're mistaking Disney being a distrubuter for disney claiming they've made them.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6143867
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

Good point.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

:(
I want to watch the Princess and the Frog when it comes out. And I want to watch Hunchback of Notredame but I've never had a copy.
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

I'm a pussy when it comes to sad animal things.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

pussy animal
animal pussy.

Rapist.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

You fucking wish.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

Why do you think I keep replying to you?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

:(
I thought it might be because you were nice, deep inside.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:47, archived)

Do you get that impression?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

What's the impression you're trying to make?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

I'm not trying to make one.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

You'll just have to deal with me thinking you're normal, then.
Unless you'd like me to group you in with the posergrumps.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

How did we get to here from me calling you a rapist?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

You can read, mottykins.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

Good point.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

Do posergrumps wear pink wizard clothes?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:04, archived)

I'd find out, but that'd involve effort and proximity.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

The princess and the frog has witchdoctors and frogs and an alligator playing on the trumpet.

( Rev. Cleo still alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

Does anyone die?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

Everyone, the marines nuked it from orbit.

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

I don't think so.
The princess gets turned into a frog by a sassy cajun prince turned frog who she kisses and then they have ADVENTURE.
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

Maaaaybe, then.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

The only Disney thing I liked when I was young was Fantasia
and the mega drive game of it was fucking hard!
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:37, archived)

You wanker.
The music is looping in my head now.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

He's a Tramp from Lady and The Tramp
and 'Put that thing back or so help me' from Monsters Inc., which isn't technically a song but it's GREAT.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

That's a Disney?
Oh, I like that.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

Yes. Disney Pixar, Pixar Disney.

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

I likes very much Toystory songs.
One and two.
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:41, archived)

Ahh.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

But as pointed out up there somewhere,
Pixar made it. Disney whore it.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

I like the little performance they do at the end of the film :D

( Rev. Cleo still alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

PORTABELLO ROAD!

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

Fuck Like an Animal
I think it was in Beauty and the Beast.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

urm...
Ooops updisney'd your head I said, who's updisney'd your head.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

Belle
Although I like most of them.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

:)
I am using Spotify to listen to many of them. I find half of the lovey dovey songs too cheesy though.
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

They are Disney
Of course they are cheesy.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

Some I just don't like as much as the others.
"True love's kiss" isn't as good as "I won't say I'm in love" and I prefer "Just around the riverbend" to "love will find a way"
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

I Want To Lick You Up And Down
by Another Level
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

Norm's favorite drink?
5 points up for grab
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:41, archived)

The FuckKnuckle Supreme

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

unda da see

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

Darling it's better, down where it's wetter.
/ac
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

Opening Theme to Toy Story

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

Oh my god! Someone has killed my wife!
And children's orders are history!
These demonic playthings have came to life!
This is theeeeeeir - TOY STORY!
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:47, archived)

DONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONKDONK
I quick like Colnel Hathetys march, or whatever it's called, the elephant marching song from jungle book

generally though I fucking hate disney
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

This track :D
open.spotify.com/track/72FVNhGblvZDk4HexJjYJR
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

Not in Nottingham is the best Disney song ever.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

D'aaaw.
I'm listening to it now, and it's pretty depressing in a nice way.
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

I also like all of the Lion King.
Fuck it, I love Disney. Except all the princessy ones. Sleeping beauty etc.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

Some of the Princesses are better than the others though.
Aurora is a bit crap, love Maleficient in that though, she's ace. Prefer the original ending to Little Mermaid, but does have ace songs. Can't judge Snow White as spent ages watching it when little.
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

CORRECT
Best song in a children's film.

Closely followed by Oodelally oodelally golly what a day.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:07, archived)

They're all shit.

( WHARRGARBL, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

I know you I walked with you once upon a dreeeeeaaaaaaam
Sleeping Beauty
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

That one is fun :)

( Rev. Cleo still alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

*sings*

( jenpots, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

There was of course, that one song cut from Sleeping Beauty.
Oh fair maiden with hair blonde,
My heart for you has grown so fond,
I must be brave and not the coward,
And yet I find a stronger urge,
I am finding emotions surge,
And they are heading downward,
And yes whilst you slumber,
I pull out my member,
My passion cannot be fought,
I hike up your skirt,
I promise this won't hurt,
Unless I am caught,
Yes I'm getting nuts deep,
I'm getting nuts deep,
I'm getting nuts deep...
While she's still asleep...

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:07, archived)

I cant believe
none of you cunts have come up with "wanna be like you" or "bare necessities" from the ultimate Disney Blaxploitation film, Jungle book.

No other Disney song can live with those two.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:07, archived)

I'm singing to the karaoke of them now :3

( Rev. Cleo still alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:08, archived)

Uderrarry, uderarry, nan taki daaaaaaaaaaaah!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmjypkXpD_8
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

A-Lobin huda Ritter Johna!

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:30, archived)

It's a thing of absolute beauty.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

it's been ages since i last saw it
but i really liked the bambi soundtrack
( spacefish bong!, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

PINK ELEPHANTS
or the racist 'I ain't never seen a elephant fly' song from the end of Dumbo sung by White men pretending to be black crows.
( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

SICKRIK FACTS NUMBER 1:DID you know
that ha practice of frezing a poo in a condom then using the frozen turd as a makeshift dildo is called a LUMLEY

because apparently it was Ms Lumley who was into said practice in the 70s and practically invented it

MORE INTERESTING FACTS PLZ
( SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

Another interestring SickRikism.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

I can't keep up with this

( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

6 Friends who live near eachother in new york; what's the name of their regualar hang out?
worth 10 points.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

The internet.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:19, archived)

COUPLING

(__, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:19, archived)

The welsh man was nice.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:20, archived)

He was a fool for leaving

(__, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:20, archived)

All of the women gave me knuckle itch.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

is that something you get from pubic hair chaffing
whilst vigorously flicking the bean?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:22, archived)

No, it means I want to hit them.
Give me some credit.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:24, archived)

interesting
I'd quite like them to hit me
(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:25, archived)

I'll try and hit them at you.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:25, archived)

This would make an interesting Japanese gameshow

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:26, archived)

As long as I get to hit them.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:27, archived)

leaving your loving no more.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:22, archived)

Joey's Place.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:20, archived)

Dante's Peak.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:20, archived)

Central Perk

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

OH QUIET DOWN EVERYONE
THE THROAT-CLEARING AUTHORITY FIGURE IS HERE.

BEST GET ON WITH OUR HOMEWORK
(__, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:22, archived)

- 10 points for getting the right awnser.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

Monica's Clunge

( SuperMatt, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:23, archived)

AA

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:25, archived)

the world trade centre

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:27, archived)

JIHAD!!!!!!!

( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

Batman

( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

Chandler's Anal Beads And Apple Seeds Emporium

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

Mates?

( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:29, archived)

pals?

( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:29, archived)

Chums?

( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

Eminemmerdale

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

Tom Maloneys Dog Shop

( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

Dorsia.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

You can fit more than 9 peanuts in a cows stomach.. also
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are witren, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:20, archived)

Scirikk is an oargne cnut

(__, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:23, archived)

I aerge

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:24, archived)

And yet we still can't understand Gonzo's typing.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:23, archived)

Geenatruard?

( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:25, archived)

I put that in an anagram finder and even that didn't know what you meant.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:27, archived)

Maybe I spelt it wrong let me try again.
Geenatruad?
( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:29, archived)

BECAUSE YOU SPELT IT WRONG YOU FUCKING MUPPET.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

It was a typing error rather than a spelling error

( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

Sorry.
Although, if you type something wrong the net result is that it's spelt wrong.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

haha

( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:27, archived)

Grnueataed!

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:29, archived)

Chprtchsae

( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

azimnag

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

I got it from this one.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

Yup, I can read that just as fast as if I'm reading normaly written words.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

Tihs is urtune
besacue yuor mnid lokos for gurpos of leretts, and olny rosters to amragans wehn it cna't fnid tehm.

Pivotise.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

Gerard Depardieu is French for 'Oh My God!'

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:27, archived)

Apparantly, for most men, if you flick the back of your ballbag hard enough
you'll make yourself sneeze.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

it has to be more of a punch I was told

( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

either or

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

I heard you had to have a two-hoofed kick from a horse
for it to work.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

This hayfever stuff isnt going to work then

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

Too many mongs posting.
Pun thread time.

Porno Football teams and players.

West Bum itch Albion
Man Chest hair Utd
( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

oh sorry I didn't see this

( SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

Arsenal

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

Shit-filled Uni-tits.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

arousing image

(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

Oh yes.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:19, archived)

Middles Bummer
Arse whore
Lay chest hair Utd
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:19, archived)

Gayngers.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:20, archived)

Tittyham Hotspunk

( M o D, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

Milfwall

( M o D, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:22, archived)

Hole Shitty

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 12 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

Nipples

(__, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

I have two.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

and?

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

THIS IS CR3 APPROVED SO I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT YOU SAY

(__, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

on a serious note now
I can't find the I Love Horses link anywhere! I think deagostini have taken it down... nooooooo....
(jothemofo, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

MONG MONG MONG MONG

( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

That sounds like a retarded bell.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

I honestly couldn't give a shit.
I love horses was funny for five minutes years ago.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

Here it is:
www.deagostini.com/ilovehorses
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

Travel help please.
I need to this place in Germany in three weeks time for work. I need to arrange flights and transport from the airport (Munich) and back. What is the easiest way to do this?

what do you mean this isn't b3ta.com/travel ?!
( Sygiinu, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

3 weeks?
Start walking.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

Ask the internet!

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

Flights online
hire yourself a car at the airport when you get there, or pick it up or whatever. I don't drive. Walk, maybe. Get a lift. Germans are nice.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

I'm going to wimp out of driving once I get there.

( Sygiinu, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:25, archived)

Arrange flights
Check train connections.
Check taxi fares.
Check car hire prices.
Book as applicable.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

Thanks.
Is it likely I can have a taxi take me from the airport to Wildbad Kreuth, door to door, without it costing a fortune?
( Sygiinu, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:20, archived)

I don't know
That's why you should check the fares.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

How can I do that?
I don't know how, and can't hit the right words to find out on google. :(
( Sygiinu, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

Get your secretary to do it.

( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

Where I used to work we had a nice person to book the travel
But now I have to do it myself and I don't know how :(
( Sygiinu, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

I just tried to fit a new bass speaker to my car.
Not only does it not work, my car stereo is fucked now too.
I am very sad about this.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

Is it a Nova or a Corsa?
And does it have a baked bean tin for an exhaust?
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

You'll have fucked off for good within a month.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

Possibly
I think that statement might be related to the strange phone calls I've been getting, saying I will be at the bottom of some lake or another.

*shrugs*
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:13, archived)

and now your boot is full of scales and blood?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

Damien used to have a bass cannon in his car.
Another insight.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

Thats gods punishment for driving
SAVE THE PLANET
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

A dog keeps licking me.

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

I'm looking after a friend's dog at the moment.
He keeps trying to hump his bed.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

It's all the rubbing dog food into your chest

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

Kinky bitch
What breed?
( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

where?
'lo furry.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

You stupid fucker
This is like Stephen Hawking coming on here and telling us he entered the London Marathon and was gutted when he was unable to even crawl over the starting line.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

I'd love to meet Stephen Hawking
then replace on of the wheels on his chair with a really massive wheel and watch him spinning round in circles going ballistic.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

I'd listen to that podcast

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:13, archived)

CAR FAIL
I dunno. I think that's what the cool kids say nowadays when the slightest thing goes wrong.
(__, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

MONG
MONG
FUCKING STUPID MONG
( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:13, archived)

The twat probably dribbled all over the contacts, causing it to arc out.

( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

HAHAHAHAHA! Internet people..
Hello failures, it's me JMG with your daily dose of better living.
How's the internet?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

FULL OF TEH RAGE !
Top win last night to send the Boro doon !

You'll recover from a mauling from Fulham at the weekend when you realise Hull and Bore will also have lost.

HOWAY !
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

There was much merriment.
Everybody on here seemed to be happy for me.
Everybody asides Bogus_Official. I think it upsets him when I'm happy.


I think he has to say "JMG" and "autism" so many times in one day, or his family will die.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

West Brom to beat Liverpool

( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

That's the spirit!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

Did I tell you about my VIP trip to the Hawthorns on Saturday?

( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

I think you did.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

That would be meaningless for both
WB are already down and Man U wont drop any more points.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

West Brom aren't down yet
If Hull, Newcastle and Boro' don't get any more points and WBA win their remaining games
they will get out at their expense.
( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

I have just had to read the wiki of the final episode of heroes as I am completely lost
Oh and Preston got knocked out of the playoffs

One of them days
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

Look on the bright side
We can go to football matches together!
( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

imgur.com/K4VS.jpg
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

Oh b4shes...

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

:(
Chin up and all that.
You can go to matches with Wormulus.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

*swings arms around*
*pointing flaily winkicks*
( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

Do I detect an element of envolving in your workplace?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

I think that's probable.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

The dog just had a funny turn.
We reckon it was probably the paint fumes.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

Poor hound.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

I feel more sorry for the dog.

( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

For some unknown reason
I have Babylon Zoo's 'Spaceman' in my head all of a sudden.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

And now I'm thinking about Levis

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

NOOO.
When we went out on Saturday night, we ended up at a nineties night where I danced like a loon barefoot. He finished the night with that pile of shite. He hadn't heard of The Auteurs and he wouldn't play Ben Folds Five or Therapy? The cunt.

/end of rant
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

It's just appeared in my noggin like a moonpig advert.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

Dunno, just got here.
I'm doing OFFLINE things in the garden.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

*Flymo fives*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

I've just discovered this for the first time and i LOVE it
truckbearingkibble.com/comic/2008/01/18/stay-of-execution/

reminds me a bit of PBF but with more comics, it's beautiful

introduce me to something else cool

go!
( SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:49, archived)

*introduces you to something that isn't you*

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

www.bambooturtle.us/turtlewheelsweb2.jpg
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

Have two things
www.kuzimu.co.uk

and

download some music by Beirute.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:52, archived)

Brett's art scares me
*hides behind chair*
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

:D
Wait for the next issue, it's a fucking doozy.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

www.interferingwithstoats.com
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:52, archived)

I'm fighting, I'm fighting fucking hard.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:52, archived)

www.conservatives.com/
( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

gunshowcomic.com/
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

NSFW
www.nakedwomen.de/greta/0783836y
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 12 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

inheritance
how do you cancel a blank cheque?
(yes i am a retard)
( weaver., Tue 12 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

www.philosophy.uncc.edu/mleldrid/cmt/mmp.html
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

Much as I dislike and distrust MP's
This one news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8045414.stm does have a point.

£92,000 to read a fucking autocue ? It's an outrage !
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:33, archived)

I still <3 the BBC though.
I can't help it, it's hard wired into my middle class mainframe.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:35, archived)

Me too
it's not their fault, she could probably get £120,000 off Sky.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:37, archived)

Your family are in that funny fringe part of the Middle-classes that buys posh food and reads the Independant.
I suspect you consider advertising on television morally wrong.
( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:37, archived)

Yes
yes I do.

Also, on a point of clarification my family read the Guardian because we like Charlie Brooker swearing in the G2 and are bored of hearing about gorillas dying in the no-news Independent.

Posh food and the Guardian go together like balsamic vinegar and extra virgin olive oil.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

haha
Is this the same moral objectivity that means you think private healthcare and education is evil.
( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:41, archived)

Who said I believe there are any objective morals?
My family are also relativists so it works for us.

And yes, yes I do think those things you grammar schooled twat.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:43, archived)

haha
Try a little pragmatism in your Organic tea this evening.
( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:45, archived)

I never understood how you could be a walking example of consumer choice in terms of your lifestyle
choosing nicer, more expensive things over rubbish ones and paying more for them
but when the same model is applied to things like Healthcare or Education is is suddenly wrong

Are first class tickets on trains and planes also evil?
Is having a private pension rather than a state pension the poisonous work of Thatcher?
( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:52, archived)

EXPLAIN IT TO ME DOG GIRL

( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

First class sections on trains are evil
Normal commuters are sardined into carriages with standing room only while theres 30 or 40 seats sitting empty because no one will buy a first class ticket.

Cunts.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

So buy a first class ticket
And have 30 or 40 seats to yourself...
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

I already pay £3600 a year for a fucking unreliable sack of cunt
I'm not paying an extra grand or whatever it is for the privelege of a slightly more available seat.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

I woudl buy a first class ticket
and then wee on 39 of the seats.

But in reality I'll just drive.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

You can only drive up north
it's not feasible to drive anything other than a bus, bike, van or taxi in central London.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

I know
I live in London. I get the tube if I'm ever in the centre of town.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

Oh sorry Mr orphan child.
Is the food your mum cooks not ritzy enough for you and the massive fuck off period house you live in big enough for your small family?

I think living and learning are too essential components of humanity for the market to put a price on them.

Private schools distort the meaning of social mobility letting it rest on not how good and talented you are but on how much money your parents could afford to pay out.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

I'm very pragmatic.
I'm a pragmatic liberal socialist.

I'm also a Lib Dem.
I also crave the food hall in John Lewis on Oxford Street. (they have a special room for posh cheese!)
I also read the Guardian.
Private Eye is my bible.

I can do these things because I'm pragmatic about the fact that sometimes I'm shit at being liberal and sometimes I'm shit at being a socialist.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

I read the Daily Star & Sport back to front

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

Given the alternatives, that isn't hard

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:38, archived)

In my mind, you look like a hardboiled egg with a face drawn on it.

( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

That's nice

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

Give it a minute and he'll tug your pigtails and ping your bra strap

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:41, archived)

But one out of its shell.
That's started to flake and crack a little bit where a child's grubby fingers have been over excitedly shelling it.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:41, archived)

That is outstanding.

( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:35, archived)

The Spam (curtain) Busters

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:36, archived)

the great esc-rape

( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:38, archived)

The Dirty Dozen

(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

A-Cock-a-Lips Now

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

The man has a point.
I'll forgive all news readers if they let me kill Natasha Kaplinsky using the mediums of rapists and ice picks.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:36, archived)

or ice rapicks

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:37, archived)

from JML.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:37, archived)

Neither of them have points really
the NHS and prisons are not losing out becuase of MPs, but her salary is irrelevant. They both just lost their tempers.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:37, archived)

I don't really care, I'm just jealous of everyone earning a decent wage.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

*wipes arse with a handful of £20 notes*

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:41, archived)

Everyone is jealous of someone earning a decent wage
because no one really thinks they earn one.

When you earn £20k a year you're looking at people on £40k wondering why you're not earning that but when you've got £40k it doesnt seem to go anywhere and you wonder why so many people seem to earn £70k a year.

I'm sure that Newsreader sits there thinking about Anne Robinson and her £3m a year for being a ginger harridan cunt.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:43, archived)

£20K? I wish.
I need to leave, I earn about half as much as others do for the same job in other firms, it's just a case of having been here for 4 years and having security.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:45, archived)

I've never met anyone who earns less than that
who has English as their first language.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

Yes you have.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

Ok, sometimes
you get people born in England working in McDonalds.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:49, archived)

You go in McDonalds?
Ew.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:50, archived)

Only to have a shit

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:52, archived)

I don't believe you
you like to go and masticate reconstituted vomit with the serfs.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

So what ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

So your high horse is knee deep in the same mire as the rest of us
except me because I don't eat McDonalds.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

?
What ?

So if I read lots of works of great fiction, then one day read a Nick Hornby novel because I was bored, I'd instantly become a philistine ?

Rubbish.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

It counts. That and I'm sure you're just as shit as everyone else.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

I see now
how your mental powers have lead you to be earning less than 20k a year : (
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

Only another 16 years to get to your level.
That's a ridiculously long amount of time, I'm sure I'll manage.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

I started on 10k when I left uni,.
Two years later, I was on 11k. Before tax.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

When was that ?
I started on £6k a year when I was 18 and that was 1988.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:48, archived)

My first job was 6k and then 11k in the next job (was there for 3 years when it climbed to 11.5k).

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:50, archived)

Do you ask everyone how much they earn?

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:48, archived)

Yes
and if they dont tell me I hit them with a trout.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:48, archived)

Smelly

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:49, archived)

My receptionist job paid me about £13k pro rata (21 hours a week),
which isn't that bad for that line of work. I've just applied for a council job that pays about the same, but full time.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

he's got a point about being interrupted all the time.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

Yeah, I meant that.
*didn't, but would like to leap on the clever bandwagon*
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:41, archived)

I thought that was the point of interviewing MPs
Hassle them contantly. Never let them finish a point. Hopefully get them so riled up they'll say, "ALRIGHT FINE! WE STARTED THE IRAQ WAR TO STEAL THEIR FUCKING OIL! HAPPY NOW?".
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:42, archived)

That's the media's point, yes.
I can see how, as a politician, it would be very annoying.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

BBC link. Woo
Also, she's earning a fixed salary as set out in a contract, the fact that it's a lot of money is irrelevant, she isn't skimming money through expenses claims or avoiding paying tax on the sale of second homes.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:36, archived)

He's still making a valid point

MPs should stand up and ask for a decent wage for what they do and drop all the expenses bollocks. They ought to be paid about £180k a year instead of £65k plus £100k expenses
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

No they shouldn't
£64,000 is a huge salary. They should have a rented place in london paid for directly, then they don't need to furnish it. They should get transport to and from their constituency paid for. But they should enter public service because they want to serve the public, not because they want the money.

He isn't making a valid point at all, her salary, a fixed amount set from the beginning, has nothing to do with dishonest expense claims.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:43, archived)

£64k is a huge salary ?
Maybe in Malawi, not in London.

You've got to compare it against the marketplace and you'd get more than £64k a year being an area sales manager for a Bank. Which job would you rather see attract the best candidates ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:45, archived)

64k would be tops for me. I earn about 27k before tax at the moment
and I'm doing fine in London. I have money left over. But then I'm cheap and miserable and Northern. Frugal's a dirty word now, you see.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

It's a pretty big salary by most people's standards,
but then it's a pretty important job by most people's standards as well. You can make a damn sight more than that as an accountant, if you're that way inclined.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:48, archived)

Exactly
If you're supposed to be running the country, you ought to be paid a salary that will attract people capable of running the country.

Anyone with any brains and ambition is going to think fuck politics, no money in it unless you can get right to the top and start bending the rules and taking backhanders.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:50, archived)

What they need is someone with brains and no ambition.
Maybe I should go into politics.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:52, archived)

The PM earns about £150K basic
and again, I bet you he has other sources of income. Plus when they leave office they get more money thrown at them.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

Definately
after dinner speaking, directorships etc.

If you get into the cabinet, you're laughing, but, not all of them do.

There's what 650 MP's ? So probably only 10% get to be in the cabinet and about 1% or less ever get one of the top jobs like PM or party leader. We still need those 600 odd other people to be motivated and fucking good at what they do, so they need to be well paid, it needs to be an attractive job.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

But £64K is a pretty attractive salary
the sort of people who become MPs are either self serving power mongers who think they will get the top jobs and earn all the dough, or people who genuinely want to make things better, in which case a £64K salary is pretty good, providing you can get a place in london paid for.

I'm not against having a system for allowing MPs to live near their place of work, but the house of commons has done it's best to prevent the current system being changed or scrutinised. And what is currently happening is dishonest, if not in some cases illegal.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

I wont argue that about 80% of them are dishonest and vile.
But maybe if the job was better paid it'd attract a better class of person.

or at least make it less tempting for them to be dishonest to make a bit more cash.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

I do think it's a large salary.
But expenses were introduced for exactly the reason that they hoped it would allow people to be MPs that were truly local to their constituency and genuinely interested in serving the people.

Expenses allowed poorer MPs who did not and could not afford to have 2nd homes in London to actually stand and do their jobs without what amounted to financially based discrimination.

Means test the fuckers that's what I say.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:50, archived)

As an MP they may earn £64K
which, regardless of what you think, is a large salary (it's more than me and my mrs earn combined and we have a very nice lifestlye living in london and could get by on less if we had to), but virtually all MPs have other sources of income too as advisors to businesses etc.

Plus there are many other perks, you aren't comparing like with like when you bring in bank sales managers.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

I bet shes got a lovely bumhole

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:36, archived)

I hear she bleaches it
With voles tears.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:37, archived)

This is getting rubbish
Are we going to begrudge people luckier than us the chance to make a few quid doing a job that you perceive to be easier than yours for ever? Bitter?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:37, archived)

let's face it,
there isn't a single one of us that would turn down an easy 92 grand a year. Not even me.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

Exactly

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

I'm not taking a cut for anyone.

( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:41, archived)

ha fuck yes.
he could do with brushing up on his arithmetic though, 92 isn't nearly twice 64.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:37, archived)

She makes about £30k a year in extras
wanking off cameramen though.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:41, archived)

Well it's a competitive marketplace for a News outlet to get a journalist.
As for politicians, when they're in, that's it, they're in for several years.

And looking at how much some MPs are claiming for, they make well over 100k per year with the additions. I wouldn't be surprised if they claimed car allowance, too.

On top of that (ooo 'eck, I'm off), the Labour Politicians used the Royal Flight for getting home - Margaret Beckett used it to get to East Mids airport, when it's only 2 hours ish on the train.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

they're only copying the civil service.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:42, archived)

True enough.
Damn my decision to work in the private sector!
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

Also, you don't need any formal qualifications to become a politician...

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

My solution would be
Give them all a free flat in London and let those who have to commute more than 80 miles to Westminster claim travel and overnight expenses.

Stick them all on £100k a year, cabinet a bit more, PM probably £250k then tell them all to fuck off and get on with it.

Regardless of anything else, making them claim expenses for all sorts of shit just wastes their time.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

Good plan!
I like that idea.

In failing that, keep the current system they have now, but let it be claimed for the general public, like you and me. See how quickly they bat that one into touch :-)
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:49, archived)

He's missed the point.
People are paid to do a job. It doesn't matter how much it is. They've been dishonest with the claiming. She hasn't. He's acting like they deserve it.

I think it's the whole schemes fault not the MPs though, as I would probably put the expenses down for the copious amount of hookers I've had spank me with my leather briefcase.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:42, archived)

True that,
thing is politicians aren't any less likely than anyone else to turn down free money if they're offered it, but for some reason we expect them to be saints.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

This x3000

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:48, archived)

Andre3000?

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

Surely it's not the MPs who claim the expenses, but the ones who authorise and clear those expenses to be paid that have to be blamed mostly.

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

I believe
That anyone who earns more than me is a cunt
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

Word of The day ......

Vacuous

elaborate on ......
(Salvage leave it and carry on..., Tue 12 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

words of the year: Guff Beak

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

No, the word of the day is
RNUK
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

it's the the sound of Curly from the 3 stooges laughing

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

Wormulus must have posted!

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

My favourite word is goblin. It's nice to say.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

And do

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

Pfft.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

Gibbon.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

Marsh Gibbon is the best named place near me.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

The Thames has
a genuine
Monkey Island.
( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:17, archived)

I bet there's shit all monkeys there.
False advertising, internet lawyerman. Have at them.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:21, archived)

Do you go searching for Big Whoop?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:26, archived)

what are we, a fucking dictionary?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

That word is very you.

( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

Wormulus must have posted!
Wormulus must have posted!
(Salvage leave it and carry on..., Tue 12 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

your mum is vacuous

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

I think you'll find that the bird is the word.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

But also it appears that some people are unaware that bird is the word

(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:10, archived)

Vacuous:
Anyone who buys, reads or even looks at the cover of Heat magazine.
(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:10, archived)

CUNT OFF YOU TEDIOUS MINGESPASTIC

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:10, archived)

mingespastic?
I imagine that might be pleasant for the lady involved.

As if we men cared, bwahahahaha
(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

CAKE
/has made smashing lemon fairy cakes
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

Forget all of that for a moment.
Today is a very special day.
( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:43, archived)

  ____ ___   ____ _  __  _____ _   _ _____ ____  ____    _ __   __
 / ___/ _ \ / ___| |/ / |_   _| | | | ____/ ___||  _ \  / \\ \ / /
| |  | | | | |   | ' /    | | | | | |  _| \___ \| | | |/ _ \\ V / 
| |__| |_| | |___| . \    | | | |_| | |___ ___) | |_| / ___ \| |  
 \____\___/ \____|_|\_\   |_|  \___/|_____|____/|____/_/   \_\_|  

( SuperMatt, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:44, archived)

the head of our French office is a Mr Coq.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

DID SOMEONE SAY COCK TUESDAY?

( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP

( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

*fives*

( SuperMatt, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:49, archived)

It's made tuesdays a little bit more special for me

(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:49, archived)

With a Special Cock?

( thealternativefact, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

YES

436f63 6b2054 756573 64  61
79     20  69 73     20 74
68     65  20 6f     6e65
20     74  72 75     65 20
776179 2e2054 686f73 65  20

77686f 20  64 6f206e 6f7420 666f6c   6c   6f  77
  20   74  68 65     20      77 61 79  20  6 f6 
  62   04  36 f63    6b2054  75 65 736461   79
  20   61  72 65         20  65 76 69  6c   21
  20   546865 792073 68616c 6c2064 69  65  21

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

Are you becoming a lady?

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

No.
Why, are you?
( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

Wormuvasquez?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:47, archived)

haha

( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:52, archived)

I'm glad someone got it.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

I'm not sure thats a good thing

( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:56, archived)

Yes. It. Is.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

nuke the whole site from orbit,
it's the only way to be sure.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

\o/

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

Pfft no

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:47, archived)

Phew, that was a close one

( SuperMatt, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:49, archived)

Is your sig a Gonzo reference?

( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

WOOP WOOP!

  ___  _____  ___  _  _    ____  __  __  ____  ___  ____    __   _  _ 
 / __)(  _  )/ __)( )/ )  (_  _)(  )(  )( ___)/ __)(  _ \  /__\ ( \/ )
( (__  )(_)(( (__  )  (     )(   )(__)(  )__) \__ \ )(_) )/(__)\ \  / 
 \___)(_____)\___)(_)\_)   (__) (______)(____)(___/(____/(__)(__)(__) 

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

Cocx?

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:51, archived)

NO!

         _---~~-_                          
        :        "-.                       
       /   /'''" }) \   COCK TUESDAY!!
      :   : ^ \^ :/  )   
      /    \ (-)//  /     _        
     |     /  -/ ' /    ( # )                 
      '~ \} -.-'../     / /   
     /           .     / /     
    /   /'     ^  \   / /       
   '  /  \ .@.' '..@ / /                     
  '  /    \        |/ /            
 /  |      |       / /                      
/  /       /    ' / /                       
| '       '      / / '                     
|  \     |      / /   \                    
|/^ .   '      / /     '                   
v  .  \/      ()()\      \                  
   )  |      /'   )\     |                 
  ( _\     ./    ( '     .                 
   '--.___'      '--''---  

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

___ ___ ___ ___
/\ \ /\ \ /\ \ /\ \
_\:\ \ /::\ \ /::\ \ /::\ \
/\ \:\ \ /:/\:\ \ /:/\:\ \ /:/\:\__\
_\:\ \:\ \ /:/ \:\ \ /:/ \:\ \ /:/ /:/ /
/\ \:\ \:\__\ /:/__/ \:\__\ /:/__/ \:\__\ /:/_/:/ /
\:\ \:\/:/ / \:\ \ /:/ / \:\ \ /:/ / \:\/:/ /
\:\ \::/ / \:\ /:/ / \:\ /:/ / \::/__/
\:\/:/ / \:\/:/ / \:\/:/ / \:\ \
\::/ / \::/ / \::/ / \:\__\
\/__/ \/__/ \/__/ \/__/
___ ___ ___ ___
/\ \ /\ \ /\ \ /\ \
_\:\ \ /::\ \ /::\ \ /::\ \
/\ \:\ \ /:/\:\ \ /:/\:\ \ /:/\:\__\
_\:\ \:\ \ /:/ \:\ \ /:/ \:\ \ /:/ /:/ /
/\ \:\ \:\__\ /:/__/ \:\__\ /:/__/ \:\__\ /:/_/:/ /
\:\ \:\/:/ / \:\ \ /:/ / \:\ \ /:/ / \:\/:/ /
\:\ \::/ / \:\ /:/ / \:\ /:/ / \::/__/
\:\/:/ / \:\/:/ / \:\/:/ / \:\ \
\::/ / \::/ / \::/ / \:\__\
\/__/ \/__/ \/__/ \/__/
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

Fuck it

( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

I liked yours best

( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:56, archived)

gross sideways long tits

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:56, archived)

cracking pair of udders

( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

cocktitsday!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:59, archived)

Yes
Only 6 days until my birthday!
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:04, archived)

WOOOP WOOOOOOP

( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

Simmer down, I'm here.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:04, archived)

Get boiling everyone, I'm here.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

I have been shaving my head for about 15 years
but have recently allowed it to grow to about a 1" length. It looks shit, so what kind of style do I need?

alt: what are you having for lunch...........?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

I love shaved heads.
I always have the compulsion to stroke them. Like big warm peaches.

edit: SHAVED BALLS
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

heads balls
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

peaches balls
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

balls!

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

BAAWWWLBAAAGS!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

clearly I am not going to stop shaving my balls
the smooth feeling is to die for
(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

Balls!
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

haha
:)
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

SHAV
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

I love Ed Balls.
Him and Damian Grammaticas have the best names on TV.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

Also Darcus Howe.

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

Krishnan Guru-Murthy too

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

and I cannot lie.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

Let it grow out. Maybe a sideparting. Ask Wormulus for sideparting advice.

Don't grow it long though, only ugly cunts have long hair.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

I never did plait your hair at CHB's
:(
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

That's because I was being molested by young kids and you were being a groggy upset tummy spango

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

I can't resist 4 bowls of curry
:(
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

but I am an ugly cunt
so........
(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

I had toad in the hole just half an hour ago.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

Poor Spacefish:(

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

at half 11?
That's not the usual toad in the hole time.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

I just jam some wax in my hair,
If I don't then I look homeless.

I'm having a bacon sandwich I think. With Milk Roll bread.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

what is milk roll bread?

(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

That cylindrical loaf that Warburtons make,
It's ace with bacon.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

short back & sides and spiked on top
I'm having prawn salad for lunch, or maybe a chicken sandwich I haven't decided yet.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

I had my hair like that once,
My Indian barber misheard me and took to my back and sides with the number 1 setting. I looked a right tit.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

Long . Grow it long.
Long hair on men is good.

I had a sandwich. It was nice.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

*stumbles into frame*
Ohhhhh hello
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

You've got good hair. Yes.
How is your head not the size of a house, with all the panderfawning?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

I dunno. Just used to it.
*head inflates to the size of a hot air balloon*

AIIEEE!! HALP! *floats off*
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

Wish I was used to it *grumble*
:D
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

*Pandering gaz's sent as I stroke my legs too hard and get sweaty*

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

Oh MY.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

*Wobbles my huge gutt at the monitor*
YOU'RE MY WIFE NOW.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:40, archived)

Do I get presents?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

I may cough at you approvingly.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:51, archived)

Good enough.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:51, archived)

but it might look silly with my widows peak
like I should be in Quo or something
(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

Stil. Grow it long then dread it.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

oooh, dreads.
yes.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

The wifeydearest
needs to have a trim, his dreads are now past his bottom and tickling the tops of his thighs again.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

Those are some long dreadlocks!
or he has a very short torso. Is he a bobblehead or am I just being silly?
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

No, he's a big chap
his hair grows quickly and it's been years. I lopped off half a foot about a year ago.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

Is he coming to the bash?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

Nah, you'll have to make do with just me.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

Does he not like us b3ta folk? *sniffles*

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

No, I just like to have a night a year away.
Is that ok?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:35, archived)

I'm only messing
The important thing is that you will be there.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

Thank YOU
thought as much.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

I'll go and sit in the naughty corner for 15 minutes
To think about what I have done.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:40, archived)

:D

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

fantastic!
I do have a soft spot for dreads.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

Me too, they're lovely.
I like grabbing big handfuls of them and giving them a sniff. Lovely.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

I imagine they're good for grabbing, actually
:P
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:43, archived)

They are, they're strong and kind of scritchy a bit.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:44, archived)

Some men don't suit long hair
AT ALL.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

All men I've seen with long hair
(save Devon Townsend) looked gorgeous with it.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

I'll look out some photos
of me as a young man. Not good.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

Are you saying you don't fancy Devin Townsend with his Skullet?
You're such a fucking bitch,
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

DevIN, that's it.
I know I am, mottlybun.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

Mottlybun?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

Yep.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

What does it all mean?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

That you are a little wunny-bunny kittenyface
and I'm going to hatch you.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

... you're going to sit on me?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

Yes.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

... I've got a spare 30 minutes later today.
Are you local?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 12:36, archived)

None localler.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

Keep shaving half of it
and experiment with the other half, once you've found the style you like allow the shaved half to grow and catch up. In the meantime, should you be invited to a formal function, simply keep the shaved side to anyone you talk to and you will still look smart.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

I had half my head shaved once
It was awesome

the one side I looked normal, the other an absolute psychopath
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Tue 12 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

Or wear a hat at a jaunty angle to cover the shaved half.
Not only will you show off your dapper haircut, but you'll also look like the most dashing eligable bachelor dandy in the whole of the county.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

so THAT'S why you wear a hat!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

Shave it again.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

Cousin It

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

?

( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

2.bp.blogspot.com/_Jp7ZTnaisRg/STyoGPdvk1I/AAAAAAAAAJY/24LQsWepqdE/s400/cousin_it01thumb.jpg
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

*Facepalms*
I read it as cousin....it.
as in make it into cousin
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:36, archived)

a member for 6 years, 10 months and 2 days
You have quite possibly the dullest profile EVER
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

Keep it shaved
Unless you have an odd shaped head.
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

edited just for you
*fondles*
(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:40, archived)

Pfft
Now it's dull and full of lies
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:43, archived)

What do you want from me!?

(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:46, archived)

Longer
Much longer.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:35, archived)

Tell me the thing you've done that you are most ashamed of.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:41, archived)

Nick.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

Poor nick:(

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

Poor Nick my arse, he's a cunt of ridiculous proportions.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

hello lovely

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

Good morning, sweetie :)

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

all well in the Land of the Wow, I hope?

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

I've sprained my arse, and senior people are trying to make me do things I know I'm not allowed to
but essentially it's all good in the hood. Your fine self?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

aw
less rough with the bummings next time, eh?

It's MOTORBIKE DELIVERY DAY here, so I am getting as excited as it's possible to do while having a face full of cold AIDS.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

BIYEK.
Brumdiddle-um. Be careful, make sure you've got your leathers, lid, spine board and that. Oh, and if you do crash, try and aim into a hedge.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

I have jacket, gloves and helmet.
I'm pondering the spine board and boots also for next month. I think at first I'll be too scared to go above 30mph to cause much damage to myself if I come off :)
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:49, archived)

Good chappess.
So long as you're all safe :)
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:50, archived)

Do you have some decent boots as well?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

I'm getting them next month, too much moneys for this month.
I've got trainers with thick soles until then.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

Ride safe until you do get some boots
They will save your ankles.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

What size are your feet?

( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Tue 12 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

5
to be honest, if I find it's annoying not having them straight away I could probably stretch to a pair this month - I'd just rather wait.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

If it was truly awful people probably wouln't want to share it.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

But they are compelled to!
The internet has demanded it!
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

Well yes
Excellent work, Uberfuhrer Obvious
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

it was your question.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

You're really gunning for a promotion here arent you

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

eh?

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:49, archived)

Make sense, you colossal retard.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:11, archived)

You've obviously not spent much time on QOTW

(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

No
I might get arrested
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

They'll make you sign a register one of these days

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

I was a terrible yoof

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

Once your on the register,
They can't stop you looking
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

Why would I tell you that?

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

The internet might validate you if you do.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

ZOMG
No
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

i don't do shame

( mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

You should do really
From what I've heard.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

EVERYTHING

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

ym

( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:49, archived)

Happy Cock Tuesday

(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

Once, I... well, there was no potatoes in the house, NOT ONE, so I *sniff* had to... had to... *sob* ... EAT SMASH :'((((((((((((((((
I DIDN'T WANT TO BUT I HAD NO CHOICE.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:49, archived)

I had to eat Smash with Beanfeast once.
I could've cried.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

What the FUCK is beanfeast?
Is that some kind of lesbian slang?
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

I wish.
SaltyBad. SaltyBad SickThing.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

my lemon squash nearly met my monitor :P

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

the second worst thing to be forced on a Boy Scout

( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Tue 12 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

that'll be the only food left after a nuclear attack
/cheerful
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Tue 12 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

I read that as you had to eat Smash for Breakfast
:s
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

I'd rather not have any.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

To hell with you.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

I was young, stupid and hungry.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

I had to eat Smash pretty much every day at primary school.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

smash isn't THAT BAD

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

IT WAS WITH LINDA MCCARTNEY SAUSAGES!
THE HORROR, THE HORROR

You don't KNOW man, you weren't THERE.

*flashback*
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

haha
there there dear, it'll be ok.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

Fucking hell.
That job I applied for this morning... Just got an email saying no.
Quickest turn down EVER.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

poledancer?
Chief gynaecologist?
Barry White lookalike?
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

Stock manager.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

Advertised through an agency, I'm guessing.
I've never had any luck whatsoever applying for anything through that route.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

Massive fail
Did you spell your name right?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

Yes.
In crayon.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

Green?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

Two minutes is my record.
They have a system that scans your CV for keywords.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

'fingers', 'till'?

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

I don't have access to the list of keywords.
Unfortunately.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

Just upload a copy of the dictionary

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

What I do know is
it's no good putting "Word" and "Access" and "Powerpoint". You have to put "Microsoft Word" and "Microsoft Access" and "Microsoft Powerpoint" etc..
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

I once pooed in a bag in my bedroom because the toilet was in use and my cunt of a flatmate wouldn't get out.

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

I hope that wasn't me

( SuperMatt, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

Nah.
If I won my millions, I would buy this place and get another toilet installed.

And lock him out of both of them.
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

I heard some grumblings this morning

( SuperMatt, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

Nah', that was months ago.
This morning I thought he finished with the bathroom, so I went in, then he had a go because I was making him late... he should have just said he was waiting and I would have came out.
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

you should have placed it on the floor outside your flatmate's room, lit the bag and knocked on the door

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

hahaha, have you still got it?

( mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

I ebayed that fucker, with a stunning set of tools.

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

I'm not ashamed of anything due to being a bit of a sicko.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

Which bit?

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

MY MIND.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:09, archived)

if radio1 DJ Jo Whiley and interior telly decorator Carol Smilie turned lesbionic and got married
and then adopted Myley Cyrus

would the hannah monatanana star then be called Myley Whiley-Smilie?

in other news: A bit over the top?
www.thermaltake.com/product/Liguid/Upgrade/cl-w0092/cl-w0092.asp
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

I'm finding it difficult to give a shit about your post.
Tell me why I should in 200 words, with reference to 3G.
( WHARRGARBL, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
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cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

But what about 3g?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

fuck that,
it sounds shit.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

Real Life LOL

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

yes, you are right, their names do sound similar

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

i'd like to think she would still keep her fathers name, i'm against parents pushing their children to take up their current partners names
but at the end of the day it's really what myley wants to do, i'll keep out of it, none of my buisness really
( mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

Do parents push their children to do that?
I thought people did it of their own accord. I would do.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

to be honest i have carried out little if no research in this area

( mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

It's Smillie.
Two L's. It makes no sense that it should be pronounced like "smiley". I reckon she just made that up.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

Smillie sounds dangerously similar to smelly.
Not conducive to a successful career in telly (or a successful childhood)
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:32, archived)

Smelly Telly.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:32, archived)

kelly telly and his smelly belly

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

Haha.
Parmaynu says "I should know, I AM an expert!"
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:35, archived)

How would you say it?
If you say it any other way you sould like a deaf person having sex.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:33, archived)