You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » Archive 40567 (Older | Newer)

# I fucking hate the whiny little cunt in this advert. Time for teddy's revenge, I thought. Took me a bastard long time on MS Paint without a mouse too. I lives in the dark ages. Enjoy though.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:14, archived)
# I'm not familiar with the original ad
so we have a Viennese situation here I'm afraid
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:18, archived)
# You kinda asked for it
So, here it is. You're clearly a smart person who doesn't watch too much shitpump.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EYKJUb9zHs
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:20, archived)
# I only watch the good stuff like Britains Got Talent or Louis Theroux interviewing failed porn stars
but I watch it on the web where I don't have to worry about ad breaks. Ta for the link.
Edit: Oh that's lovely, it's actually brought me close to tears.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:26, archived)
# i saw that louis theroux thing on the listings
decided to watch hislop getting a text on hignfy instead.
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 0:23, archived)
# wow.... just... wow
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:43, archived)
# Damn! I was hoping for
Paddington Bear: The Gritty Reboot
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:56, archived)
# Mr Chestburster had enjoyed an excellent week at the TT
and was looking forward to seeing "Prometheus".

My, but this was a long right-hander.

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:20, archived)
# wut?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:30, archived)
# is this a corrupt image or some magic scrolling effect?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:36, archived)
# just needs a little bit mor FUCK
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:39, archived)
# Or at least FUCKTYRES
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 2:12, archived)
# Your SCART lead's loose.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:40, archived)
# ^ ha!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:41, archived)
# Haha
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:55, archived)
# Hahaha
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:04, archived)
# pfft
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:14, archived)
# This deserves a b3ta Spazzmatronic Society Mega Woo Award


Have a biscuit
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:48, archived)
# i want to see that film
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:14, archived)
# Believe me
it's completely shit
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:28, archived)
# Can't be worse than Invasion of the Neptune Men.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:31, archived)
# Thanks, Jahled!
The long weeks of animation paid off!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:32, archived)
# These awards aren't awarded lightly you know
I had to phone up a few members on the executive committee before the decision was made. Someone was in the Dorchester having supper with the head of the IMF, which was quite embarrassing
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:45, archived)
# fuck, you know you are talking about the untouchably wealthy when they are fucking served IMF head for dinner.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:59, archived)
# that's why we want to see it, man
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:50, archived)
# ^
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:56, archived)
# Yes, thankyou, Jahled.
It really is an honour. I've placed it in the trophy cabinet on my profile under lock and key already.

I do hope I haven't jeopardized your chances at the Lodge because of the Dorchester "head" incident?
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 0:08, archived)
# Oh, and thankyou
for the biscuit.

I had a custard cream.
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 0:09, archived)
# what fillum is it?
please?
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:25, archived)
# The Godfather Part VI: Mafioso Cyberfuck
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:17, archived)
# Captain Ultra
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:48, archived)
# coooool
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:00, archived)
# the strobey / vibratey nature of the grass and mister chestburster amuses me
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:13, archived)
# It's designed to irritate
rather than amuse, taters.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:38, archived)
# I dunno
i like spazzy vibrating head animations on here
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:41, archived)
# You DO realise
what you're saying, don't you?
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 0:03, archived)
# oh my, I suspect he's fully aware
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 0:11, archived)
# Ah, discomeats - master of all that throbs and vibrates
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 0:14, archived)
# I am a mere contender.
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 0:19, archived)
# let's go on a journey, and get this motor started
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 1:08, archived)
# oh my, helmet ears are so last year ;D
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:16, archived)
# Yup, this season
it's all nitroglycerin kneesliders.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:36, archived)
# Analyses completed. The result is this:
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:11, archived)
# Invisible Woman + M = Benedict
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:14, archived)
# I actually own that dress
It's from Topshop.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:19, archived)
# Topshop sell papal gowns?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:23, archived)
# Of course
the look was very 'in' three years ago. Where have you been?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:25, archived)
# I'm still wearing the net curtains
Austerity is SO right now.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:33, archived)
# I'm sure we can reddress your financial woes
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 3:19, archived)
# imchoked!!!
I've been waiting for 'sexy dress hour' for, erm days..
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:22, archived)
# YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE DISCOMEATS!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:23, archived)
# how to layer clothing..
and look fashionable :D
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:44, archived)
# CAPTAIN!
THE POPE THE POPE THE POPE THE POPE THE POPE THE POPE THE POPE THE POPE
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:53, archived)
# Oh hai Captain
I had something to say to you, but I can't remember what it was now
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:58, archived)
# Oh yes, I remember now, it was a question
imchocked, where is it you when you disappear from b3ta for a few months?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:24, archived)
# IMCHOCKED HE IS ALL TIME DISSING THE POPE
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 0:05, archived)
# Hahaha
woo
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 3:10, archived)
# Not the same at all...is it?!
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:01, archived)
# Evening all


Edit/ Quick portrait change, sorry, I am a flibberty jibbet.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 21:25, archived)
# Ahahahahaha, oh fuck we're in trouble.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 21:25, archived)
#
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:17, archived)
# HAHAHAHA!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:35, archived)
# cheeky :D
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:45, archived)
# hahahaha...
most wooworthy!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 21:28, archived)
# This is vey good...
I prefer Viccy Coren to the other tart any day of the week.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 21:41, archived)
# Don't talk about David Mitchell like that!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 21:45, archived)
# I WILL BREAK YOU

*hhhhHHHAAAAAaahhhgnnn*
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 21:48, archived)
# Waaaahh!
stop showing that!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 21:51, archived)
# ARRRGGGHHH!!!!! *runs*
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 21:53, archived)
# I do like this!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 21:53, archived)
# 'ning :D
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:05, archived)
# David Mitchell and his incredible shrinking face!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:22, archived)
# Actually, on second viewing I think he suffers heavily from the tidal influence of the moon.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:29, archived)
# gok wan's extreme encephalopathy makeover
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:36, archived)
# haha
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:32, archived)
# ba yoobs
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:48, archived)
# i have a feeling this is something to do with 'the news'
fucking shit programme that is. worse than stenders.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 21:09, archived)
# Not the Nine O'Clock News circa 1980-ish
AICMFP
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:54, archived)
# This^
Very much so
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 5:36, archived)
# Diddleme Slot has a new movie out......
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:40, archived)
# Yiff. In. SPAAAAYYYYCE
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:46, archived)
# Wasn't that Species?:P
woo
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 21:18, archived)
# oh yeah..
that pretty much was the entire story of species... she was fit as flip!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 21:20, archived)
#
I've got an appropriate(ish)link but am being a good boy and will save it for an valid thread on the links board. Ooh, the suspense...
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:26, archived)
# /hates self

Sorry, Wildylylylylyes

Also, apparently my dishwasher smells of dirty pussy. Should I be offended by this?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:02, archived)
# If you've been washing yours in the dishwasher... yes.
Otherwise, yes, and clean your dishwasher you dirty so and so.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:22, archived)
# It gets a bit hot in there for my bits
It was a bit ming in there, but I bleached the outlet and everything. It ought to smell lovely and chlorine-y.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:29, archived)
# you bleached the outlet and everything, I'd expect it will smell lovely and chlorine-y
but what about the dishwasher?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:30, archived)
# Doesn't everyone like orifices bleach-fresh of an evening?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:34, archived)
# :D
I love the smell of chlorine in the morning.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:31, archived)
# You're right.
Un-edited :)
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:33, archived)
# I know it's a fun thing to explore new ways to use domestic appliances and it feels great and all
but it's JUST WRONG
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:28, archived)
# It does do a good rumble during the expulsion cycle
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:30, archived)
#
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:31, archived)
# Pfft
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:33, archived)
# :D
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:28, archived)
# Wait, what does "trying to write goo" mean?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:40, archived)
# I write goo
I don't like saying, "I write romance." Goo is better (and more descriptive of the juices).
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:44, archived)
# I'm writing a short story I'll probably turn into a zine series one day
derived from anecdotes I write in my sketchbook from time to time.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:46, archived)
# Oooh.
If you ever need someone to be a beta reader, feel free to gaz me :)
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:48, archived)
# I may very well do :D
The way it looks now, it cuts from first person anecdotes to traditional speech bubbles quite a bit. Might have to sort that out, so it's not too distracting.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:04, archived)
# Yes
I enjoy getting pedantic about that sort of thing.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:15, archived)
# Or leave it as it is and just say it's your style.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:15, archived)
# It's almost like Rorschach's sections in Watchmen, but somehow more deranged.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:33, archived)
# Is this what you intended?
If not, is it actually a bad thing?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:34, archived)
# It wasn't intentional at all.
But it is by no means a bad thing. I'm thinking of cutting it down a bit though.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:45, archived)
# If you've never read Kurt Vonnegut's Breakfast Of Champions
It might make you feel a little better about playing fast and loose with style. It's really fun to read psycho jumpy stuff where you honestly don't know what the author will do next.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:33, archived)
# NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU FOXWORTH!
I'm trying to talk to the nice lady about orifices.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:48, archived)
# Saw a blow up doll... I think it was a secretary.
The box said she had 3 working offices.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:52, archived)
# BOOM BOOM!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:54, archived)
# Because, you know, now you're telling jokes like that famous tv fox.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:55, archived)
# Coriander Comb.
You know the one.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:56, archived)
# Tarragon De-tangler?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:59, archived)
# Sage Scrunchie?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:00, archived)
# No - it was Harissa Hair-Grip
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:01, archived)
# You mean Saffron and Sorrel, the Straightener Sisters.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:03, archived)
# And their father, Curry Leaf Coiffeur
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:05, archived)
# Cousin to Chervil Curlers.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:07, archived)
# Wait, we're not running through character names for your next book are we?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:08, archived)
# *folds up laptop and runs*
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:10, archived)
# Is bleach-fresh on the agenda of your next intimate scene?
If not, why not?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:47, archived)
# Haha
I am quite tempted now.
"Hey, baby, you smell just like my mum's bathroom!"
*She groans* "I thought it would remind you of your teenage years."
"Yeah, and your pubes are now blonde like hers too!"
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:51, archived)
# Ten points if you get in the line "Toilet duck! Oh baby... how did you know?"
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:52, archived)
# THAT's why the nozzle is that shape!
Edit: also, getting a brand name like that into a fantasy genre book is going to be challenging. Maybe if there was a lemon-scented pet duck which lived in the bathroom... But the heroine would still have to rub herself on it. Could be considered animal cruelty.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:55, archived)
# Hahahaha, actu-lols.
You're onto a winner.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:56, archived)
# It could be a rubber duck.
ed: oh right fantasy. Make it the Commode Swan.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:01, archived)
# "Oooo I love how the neck bends just right!"
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:05, archived)
# A heroine who is destined to save the world, has an all-powerful king for a husband and an arse as neat as a rounded peach
Keeps a swan in a commode with which to freshen her lady parts.

You're right. It could sell.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:08, archived)
# To wipe away the royal leavings.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:09, archived)
# I wash my cats in the bathtub
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:41, archived)
# that is probably more humane
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:43, archived)
# If they're the size of cows you'd bloody have to.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:43, archived)
# They just look like cows.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:54, archived)
# they-just-look-like-cow-cats doesn't have the same ring as a username.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:58, archived)
# Now that I think of it, they may be cows. Just far away.
I'm off for a bike ride. And to check on the nest box I made for the baby crow that was in need yesterday.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:11, archived)
#
r
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:14, archived)
# so they don't chew the cud?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:00, archived)
# lol
I think I've been on b3ta too long as I can't see a pie chart with gin and tonic on it without wanting to see jamnog. :D
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:15, archived)
# I think a pickled onion jar of gin and tonic would make an excellent "what the fuck" present for housewarmings.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:26, archived)
# sod housewarmings
I have wedding gifts to buy this year!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:30, archived)
# Weddings too.
Funerals... eh, play your crowd.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:31, archived)
# I googled Jamnog, gin and tonic... and this is what I found
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:29, archived)
# Lets just say we had some issues when I did the first London bash.
It involved what Mu said outside a café at 8am, falling asleep propping my front door open (I live at work)and then passing out in the middle of the garden after destroying my strawberry patch.

One minute in is probably best
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:34, archived)
# Hehe :) Sorry to hear about your strawberries. I am hoping to have enough to make a very small fruit salad by the end of the summer
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:40, archived)
# I still find the idea of a picked onion jar full of gin on tonic somehow awesome.
ed: what the hell is gin on tonic?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:40, archived)
# it is pretty sexeh (and genuinely something I could steal to put in a book...)
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:42, archived)
# You make poor commode swan cry.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:44, archived)
# My apologies. Anyway, I'm off to watch Kevin Sorbitol in Hercules. Laters.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:50, archived)
# apart from the gin
and the tonic. the jar sounds awesome, though.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:43, archived)
# If you had the constitution though:P
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:44, archived)
# Jesus, what is my fat face doing in there?

Haha, I remember Jamnog sitting slumped in your doorway was the very first sighting I got of the b3ta/bash people.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:44, archived)
# I remember Dixon placing pennies on this crotch.:P
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 21:04, archived)
# Yeah, but he does that to everyone
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 21:29, archived)
#
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:51, archived)
# Football, eh?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:52, archived)
# Now go away or I shall post you a second time!:P
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:55, archived)
# Pfffttt...
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:58, archived)
#
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:58, archived)
# that is horrific
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:03, archived)
# "Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person!"
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:54, archived)
# elderberries
(that your father smells of)
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:11, archived)
# I WANT whatever it is taking.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:21, archived)
# hoorah
click
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:49, archived)
# PISSTHROBBERS


I rate this scenario as



1 Shit out of 5 (Nobody actually gives a shit).

Oh well, to the vendors of yet more fucking shitty computers
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:15, archived)
# I would like to borrow this scale for books.
edit: also, how did your computer do a shit? Did it eject a floppy or exude a diarrhoeal series of boot fails?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:16, archived)
# It actually fell over while saying "never again man, my heads fucking done in"`
then it drowned in a pool of it's own effluvia and burst into flames, then a marching band walked over it, then a steamroller, then a satellite fell on it and died and died.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:23, archived)
# have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?
*doh!* sorry riverghost!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:24, archived)
# The pope won't let me.
The pope.. he fucking stymies my plans!! but one day, one day man, on that day, woah.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:26, archived)
# fucking popes.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:29, archived)
# Is that the first stanza of the rite which summons that most ancient of anti-popish demon, Imchokedacron?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:47, archived)
# only if you're naked and smeared in chickenblood
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:53, archived)
# Does bloodied with chicken-smear count?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:54, archived)
# cor! it does in my book! come 'ere darling!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:03, archived)
# Sounds like one of the motherboard's capacitors has failed.
Bum, I should have said "mobo" to sound all geeky and shit.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:25, archived)
# sounds more like the psu has took a shit
checking a spare one now

edit: so much for the spare, that had the 12v going down to 10v and wobbling about.

either the board's lost it's mental or I got two fucked supplies.

Knowing my luck I have 2 fucked supplies and 1 frazzled mental board :D

ah well, TO THE EMPORIUMS! (once I get my celery wired up and get my passwords of the hopefully not fucked hd from old machine)...
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:36, archived)
# Aw man, mis-wired celery is a right bitch.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:49, archived)
# least it's not the courgette
they're well expensive
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:54, archived)
# eggplant
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:57, archived)
# zucchini
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:11, archived)
# that is still a courgette
deduct two points.
Also: leek.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:12, archived)
# aubergine
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:16, archived)
# that is still an eggplant.
deduct four pints. Points.
Lettuce
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:19, archived)
# *see sig for details*
you little gem, you
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:20, archived)
# Gah!
Award me five points for thinking of Iced Gems. Mmmm.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:47, archived)
# *awards five points*
*craves*
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:50, archived)
# i wish i had spare PSUs
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:04, archived)
# yes, it's great having spares that are broken
:D
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:07, archived)
# What you need is
a bin
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:09, archived)
# I got one
but it's broken
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:29, archived)
# now i don't know much about computers but make sure it has at least two rams
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:17, archived)
# it has 2 rams
no more, no less.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:22, archived)
# Tell me about it
I.T. just tried to upgrade the security certificates on our website (something I normally do without incident) and they've managed to stack the whole server...I was hoping to get home before the tubes fill up with drunk/boisterous or drunk/angry soccerball morons, but now it looks like my journey will coincide just exactly with their leaving the pub :(
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:20, archived)
# You need my patented "Anti-lout helm"
The insides are filled to the brim with pictures of flowers and kittehs. Comes with free earplugs.
I would 'shop this but have had too much G&T.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:23, archived)
# "BETTER IMPROVEMENT THROUGH VIGOROUS FAILURE"
yay
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:24, archived)
# Fuck it, I might go to the pub down the road where they don't have a telly
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:25, archived)
# good suggestion is good.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:46, archived)
# Now back, two pints later
Server still down, apparently because of corrupted file system

Fucksticks
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:55, archived)
# This is the reason taxis were created.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:53, archived)
# Have you turd it on and off again?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:21, archived)
# yay!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:22, archived)
# :D
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:23, archived)
# not now it seems it's memory is WIPED
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:23, archived)
# Try jamming a screwdriver in the hole
Or use a pencil to work it out.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:26, archived)
# Sleeping French Fan!!!!
Must be a boring game!

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:32, archived)
# hoh-he-hoh-he-snore
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:33, archived)
# haha, I saw that
instant meme
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:34, archived)
# Is there any other kind?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:01, archived)
# May be getting stack dump errors.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:35, archived)
# TOASFF - Text On A Sleeping French Fan!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:43, archived)
# Yeah, I need to get a new one too
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:46, archived)
# 'ningles all.


EDIT: Dead up to date with me memes me.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:57, archived)
# Yay
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:05, archived)
# Hahaha
Just goes to show though, even in the garden of Eden they had lady shavers.

EDIT: Little Adam does look like he's about to do a Thunderbird 1 style launch though.

EDIT EDIT: I can't look at it now without hearing the music.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:07, archived)
# 'little' Adam?
'babies forearm' Adam more like
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:22, archived)
# Award judges have second thoughts.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:24, archived)
# he thinks it's an ice-cream
he's going to eat it
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:25, archived)
# Has he lost weight?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:26, archived)
# NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:30, archived)
# Was it for worlds most talentless fat fuck?
That's the only thing my brain will accept.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:38, archived)
#
who else was in the running?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:40, archived)
# Chris Moyles and my brother.
Actually no, my brother would win.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:44, archived)
# I really do dislike that man.
very arrogant.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:42, archived)
# my response is in video form
this video covers him and few others we would like to see the back of
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFOrIc8qRI0&list=UU76n20xvKDnzxgYaMvqw8Uw&index=5&feature=plcp
(, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:07, archived)
# Am I too late for the 'Clint Knitting' challenge?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:19, archived)
# poor spackhands
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:20, archived)
# Watching telly with dinner on lap lol
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:22, archived)
# dude at least use a tray.. or a plate .. or something
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:16, archived)
# hah!
It looks like originally he may have been doing that thing where you clasp your fingers together and it looks like a fanny.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:40, archived)
[challenge entry] Great big tit.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:50, archived)
# corr!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:51, archived)
# going by the england goalkeeper I think you should have gone for 5-1
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:12, archived)
# arf :)

I was off my seat there for a sec'
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:17, archived)
# You called?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:46, archived)
# hello you cunts
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:42, archived)
# FP THIS NOW!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:47, archived)
# seriously, though... this is fucking awesome!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:51, archived)
# totally deserving of its own thread!
FUCK YEAH!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:52, archived)
# hello dicksplash
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:47, archived)
# Hello you cheesy old ulcerous tramp-cankle!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:50, archived)
# How rude.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:56, archived)
# Michael Ellis never forgets
so you should be used to my swearing by now
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:46, archived)
# POOF
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:01, archived)
# Skills improving!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:18, archived)
# illustrator, eh?
money well spent.

tpb has so much to answer for.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:44, archived)
# you can't tell the difference between pixel graphics and vector graphics, eh?
mostly all the shit you do in illustrator is smooth like fuck because of all the AA shit going on. this is actually corel painter.

nice try though
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:48, archived)
# sorry, i thought i was on b3ta
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:49, archived)
# nope wrong page
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:32, archived)
# *heads back to reddit*
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:37, archived)
# Ho De Ho...
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:38, archived)
# Well I LIKED IT!
Shame on the rest of you.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:33, archived)
# Ooh ta!
:D
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:52, archived)
# good lick to ze fronch
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:26, archived)
# I don't think they'll need much
: )
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:27, archived)
# That flag
has red and blue on it.

/racist lols
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:28, archived)
# Why?
What are they doing now?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:29, archived)
# fitba
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:32, archived)
# Oh, soccerball?
Is it too much to hope that they eventually find the best footsoccer team, they give them the cup and then no-one has to play it anymore?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:33, archived)
# this time it's vs England
hence everywhere north of Berwick supporting the frogs.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:34, archived)
# I had a great great great great great great gran who was french

I'm part french and have the right to support them
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:40, archived)
# Like it makes a fucking lick of difference who "supports" who
It's not like each team has a vital supply of "support" to draw on that's going to be crucial if it comes to penalties
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:48, archived)
# PRESS X FOR SUPERKICK! SUPERKICK USES UP WORSHIP POINTS!
KEEP THE CROWD HAPPY TO INCREASE WORSHIP!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:52, archived)
# Perhaps they could do the same with all the things I don't like, too?
Find the best soap opera, the best swivel-eyed karaoke-singing mental-breakdown-waiting-to-happen, the best rom-com chick flick, the best shitty dancing/skating/insect-eating celebrity, the best snarky messageboard twat, and send them all off into the heart of the sun?

Or maybe we could just nuke the Earth to dust so no-one ever has to live with the pain of thinking that somewhere, just maybe, something is happening that they feel is beneath their fucking superiority complex?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:17, archived)
#
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:30, archived)
# Without knowing anything about footieballs I would guess that France is playing England in a game ?
edit: gawsh, call me Cilla.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:34, archived)
# yay soccerball!
go on football and scores a goal!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:41, archived)
# yay!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:46, archived)
# I hope the goalkeepers win
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:44, archived)
# I hope it's 3-1 'cause I have a fiver on it
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:45, archived)
# best of luck :D
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:49, archived)
# Is it possible for them to both lose?
I mean, I'm English so naturally I hate the French, but having lived in England most of my life I think I hate English football fans more
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:50, archived)
# There's always a chance of an intervention by Al Qaeda.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:53, archived)
# If Al Qaeda's aim was
a war on football, I think I would be vaguely supportive.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:32, archived)
# I would be strongly supportive
if they made it a jihad on lairyness in general.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:51, archived)
# I have the luxury of just hating England without any guilt

and if england win I get my fiver back..so I really don't give a fuck. :)
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:53, archived)
# Unless they lose by something other than 3-1?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:55, archived)
# I still win
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:01, archived)
# Oh don't worry, I'm quite misanthropic and capable of hating the Scotch as well
Scotch football fans especially :)
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:57, archived)
# and the inherent sectarianism that goes with it...
let's not forget that.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:07, archived)
# ^because English football doesn't have this..right?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:10, archived)
# examples?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:13, archived)
# all those english football fans livin in harmony...no fighting, hugging each other as they meet in the street

beautiful game
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:16, archived)
# yes... 'cause that's the same as inherent religious bigotry
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:19, archived)
# you lot had/have yer own issues, just as bad..
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:23, archived)
# well... clearly I disagree
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:25, archived)
# the park in half an hour..bring yer team
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:27, archived)
# :)
in all fairness, after living in Northern Ireland for the past 3 years, and visiting the place for nigh-on 10... the anti-English banter gets my goat up.

Believe me, as a Geordie, the reasons I hate England will be the same reasons you do.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:29, archived)
# ^ this
the whole "I hate you because of geographical location you popped out of a vagina" thing is just ultimate fucking pointless stupidity.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:21, archived)
# bunch of cunts, the lot of them
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:20, archived)
# ^ :)
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:57, archived)
# I read a psychological study
which suggested that supporting a team is basically just the desire to bask in reflected glory. People who have recently had a good personal achievement (eg a good test result) are apparently less likely to describe a team as "we", for example.

After reading that, I actually feel pity for many football supporters who must be using it to fill a certain sense of worthlessness.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:50, archived)
# + snee
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:46, archived)
# So what if....
Like me you support an utterly shit football team that has no glory to reflect? Is it not OK to just like a sport as it's fun?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:44, archived)
# Where would you say the fun lies?
I suspect it also has something to do with herd mentality, which must give a certain pleasure back to encourage people to do it.

Would you support your team if there was no one else supporting them?
If so, is it football you like or being in a lively crowd?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 21:12, archived)
# watch out for the shot attack!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:46, archived)
# super attack kickball engage!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:47, archived)
# It's a goal in one!
One hundred and eighty!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:51, archived)
# haha
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:55, archived)
#
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:11, archived)
# G.L.E.N.N.H.O.D.D.L.E.I.S.H.A.V.I.N.G.A.G.O.A.L!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:53, archived)
# it's funny because they're playing England and nobody likes England!
lol
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:54, archived)
# Aw man I hope England doesn't go away because then there would just be sea and I don't like sea I can't swim and my house would be underwater and all the badgers would drown.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:57, archived)
# NO, they would evolve saltatory adaptions that turn them into badger-sharks.
Then we'd be right boned.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:02, archived)
# dun lots of poo
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:18, archived)
#
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:18, archived)
#
Is that Macaulay Culkin in drag?!?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:24, archived)
# Yes, with his husband and daughter
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:44, archived)
# d=]
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:51, archived)
# So....
did he have to do another u-turn to find her?
/politicsblog
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:10, archived)
# BBC Radio 4 beat you to it.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:17, archived)
# Ah, what?
Here was I thinking I had actually had an original hummus of my very own too. Well, in a way it was because I haven't listened to the radio today, just saw it on the BBC website.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:45, archived)
# NSFW!
it's clearly a picture of a cunt
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:25, archived)
[challenge entry] Glub glub glub

Getting the worms in through the portholes is the tricky bit.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:53, archived)
[challenge entry] That's my cue...
...to pearoast some old shit:
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:55, archived)
[challenge entry] ...
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:57, archived)
[challenge entry] ...
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:08, archived)
# cor!
nice find
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:21, archived)
# Repost? Don't care.
It's worthy of a wiggly woo

(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:06, archived)
# Awesome bit of beard-work, that!
And nice tits ^
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:35, archived)
# Worms and portholes =)
Great stuff!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:10, archived)
# The Venus Pie-Trap claims another unwitting victim ......
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 14:53, archived)
# :D
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:01, archived)
# The Slapstick Jungle claims another victim.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:06, archived)
# Hahaha
Nature is awesome.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:06, archived)
# Ta Sundae :)
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:51, archived)
# ha ha ha
And already pre-spanged
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:21, archived)
# Hahaha!
Woo
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:33, archived)
# sorry to TJ but just saw this and it made me laugh

Not sure which is funnier, the idea of him cowering behind everyone else, leading from the back or just the idea of him following the football
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:39, archived)
# anything to appear "one of the people"
:)
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:47, archived)
# he has a sloppier face than Michael Portillo
ed: no he doesn't but they both need a shotgun up the sphincter
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:48, archived)
# one barrel each
that's democracy " in motion "
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:50, archived)
# YEEEEEEHAH!
looks like we gotsa noo govment!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:52, archived)
# apart from the French presumably
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:00, archived)
# I'm not
Since when has that slack-faced genetic disappointment spoke for everyone?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:35, archived)
# garylarsonic in a great way =)
(african rake snake etc)
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:11, archived)
# *holds hands up*
the rake snake is my favourite and Larson is my hero
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:23, archived)
# Only, you draw better
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:29, archived)
# do not but thanks
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:12, archived)
#
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 14:39, archived)
# Excellent
in a non-excellent sort of way, if you get my drift..

Seen this?
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 14:46, archived)
# yes, it does a good job of hiding his massive head
:D
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:01, archived)
# Pfft.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:04, archived)
# I say, steady on, old chap...
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:06, archived)
# You'll just have to trust me when I say that I really, really want this film to succeed.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:13, archived)
# Me too...
...but I'm preparing for extreme disappointment.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:22, archived)
# :D
I've only just noticed how comically small the shoulder pad bit looks in the original poster, it helps to make his arm look massive as well as his noggin :D
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:17, archived)
# The poster image is great.
But hiding the costume in darkness isn't fooling anyone.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:26, archived)
# I gotta bad feeling about this movie falm
Also the only good thing in the Sly version was the robot.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:32, archived)
# shame it wasn't from Judge Dredd
and removed the chance of a decent ABC Warriors movie
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:40, archived)
# I don't know who the abc warriors are but I bet they all smashing blouses on.
Ed: I just looked them up and they don't, but I like robos.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:44, archived)
# the robot shoe horned in to the Stallone film is hammerstein
leader of the ABC Warriors, a different comic strip to Dredd.
It's like putting Garfield in to Roy of the Rovers because they were in the same newspaper
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:47, archived)
# well i'll be jiggered
that's fucking sweet, I might have to get me some ABC Warriors now

GOOD TOAST JUICE!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:50, archived)
# BIG JOBS
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:09, archived)
# There appears to be quite alot of it
To be fair I just want pictures of..Hammerstein doing stuff, he's the best one you know.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:34, archived)
# nonononono it's DEADLOCK!
Let's meditate!
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:58, archived)
# They really should have made this into a series..
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:46, archived)
# Where the fuck was...Hammerstein!?
He's the best one, see, I know my shit

youtu.be/-uQU4ocgtbc
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:51, archived)
# Having a similar premise to 'The Raid' has probably given it a kick in the bollocks.
I'll still champion it, though - if this one tanks, my dream of seeing Judge Death stalking the streets of Mega City One at the cinema will probably get set back by at least another decade.

This is a wholly unacceptable outcome.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:43, archived)
# Having witnessed the fuckup that was Prometheus I've lost all faith in moviefalms, except that 3D Ulysses 31 falm that I have in me noggin-box.
On the upside I'm now prepared for Dark Knight 2 to be pish, so if it's quite good I'll be more than happy.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:48, archived)
# I trust you, Cap'n.
Two things;

a) Joe Pineapples is the best ABC warrior - he listens to The Doors whilst on a sniping assassination run, doncha know. Keeps him cool.

b). Judge Dredd with Sly is O.K. There, I said it.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:07, archived)
# :D
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:58, archived)
# haha clicks
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 14:47, archived)
# So ronery.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:06, archived)
# hahahahahaha
(, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:15, archived)

« Older messages | Newer messages »

XML feeds