so we have a Viennese situation here I'm afraid

So, here it is. You're clearly a smart person who doesn't watch too much shitpump.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EYKJUb9zHs

but I watch it on the web where I don't have to worry about ad breaks. Ta for the link.
Edit: Oh that's lovely, it's actually brought me close to tears.

decided to watch hislop getting a text on hignfy instead.

and was looking forward to seeing "Prometheus".

My, but this was a long right-hander.

it's completely shit

The long weeks of animation paid off!

I had to phone up a few members on the executive committee before the decision was made. Someone was in the Dorchester having supper with the head of the IMF, which was quite embarrassing

It really is an honour. I've placed it in the trophy cabinet on my profile under lock and key already.

I do hope I haven't jeopardized your chances at the Lodge because of the Dorchester "head" incident?

for the biscuit.

I had a custard cream.

please?

rather than amuse, taters.

i like spazzy vibrating head animations on here

what you're saying, don't you?

it's all nitroglycerin kneesliders.

It's from Topshop.

the look was very 'in' three years ago. Where have you been?

Austerity is SO right now.

I've been waiting for 'sexy dress hour' for, erm days..

and look fashionable :D

THE POPE THE POPE THE POPE THE POPE THE POPE THE POPE THE POPE THE POPE

I had something to say to you, but I can't remember what it was now

imchocked, where is it you when you disappear from b3ta for a few months?

woo

Edit/ Quick portrait change, sorry, I am a flibberty jibbet.

most wooworthy!

I prefer Viccy Coren to the other tart any day of the week.

*hhhhHHHAAAAAaahhhgnnn*

stop showing that!

fucking shit programme that is. worse than stenders.

AICMFP

Very much so

woo

that pretty much was the entire story of species... she was fit as flip!

I've got an appropriate(ish)link but am being a good boy and will save it for an valid thread on the links board. Ooh, the suspense...

Sorry, Wildylylylylyes

Also, apparently my dishwasher smells of dirty pussy. Should I be offended by this?

Otherwise, yes, and clean your dishwasher you dirty so and so.

It was a bit ming in there, but I bleached the outlet and everything. It ought to smell lovely and chlorine-y.

but what about the dishwasher?

I love the smell of chlorine in the morning.

Un-edited :)

but it's JUST WRONG

I don't like saying, "I write romance." Goo is better (and more descriptive of the juices).

derived from anecdotes I write in my sketchbook from time to time.

If you ever need someone to be a beta reader, feel free to gaz me :)

The way it looks now, it cuts from first person anecdotes to traditional speech bubbles quite a bit. Might have to sort that out, so it's not too distracting.

I enjoy getting pedantic about that sort of thing.

If not, is it actually a bad thing?

But it is by no means a bad thing. I'm thinking of cutting it down a bit though.

It might make you feel a little better about playing fast and loose with style. It's really fun to read psycho jumpy stuff where you honestly don't know what the author will do next.

I'm trying to talk to the nice lady about orifices.

The box said she had 3 working offices.

You know the one.

If not, why not?

I am quite tempted now.
"Hey, baby, you smell just like my mum's bathroom!"
*She groans* "I thought it would remind you of your teenage years."
"Yeah, and your pubes are now blonde like hers too!"

Edit: also, getting a brand name like that into a fantasy genre book is going to be challenging. Maybe if there was a lemon-scented pet duck which lived in the bathroom... But the heroine would still have to rub herself on it. Could be considered animal cruelty.

You're onto a winner.

ed: oh right fantasy. Make it the Commode Swan.

Keeps a swan in a commode with which to freshen her lady parts.

You're right. It could sell.

I'm off for a bike ride. And to check on the nest box I made for the baby crow that was in need yesterday.

I think I've been on b3ta too long as I can't see a pie chart with gin and tonic on it without wanting to see jamnog. :D

I have wedding gifts to buy this year!

Funerals... eh, play your crowd.

It involved what Mu said outside a café at 8am, falling asleep propping my front door open (I live at work)and then passing out in the middle of the garden after destroying my strawberry patch.

One minute in is probably best

ed: what the hell is gin on tonic?

and the tonic. the jar sounds awesome, though.

Haha, I remember Jamnog sitting slumped in your doorway was the very first sighting I got of the b3ta/bash people.

(that your father smells of)

click

I rate this scenario as



1 Shit out of 5 (Nobody actually gives a shit).

Oh well, to the vendors of yet more fucking shitty computers

edit: also, how did your computer do a shit? Did it eject a floppy or exude a diarrhoeal series of boot fails?

then it drowned in a pool of it's own effluvia and burst into flames, then a marching band walked over it, then a steamroller, then a satellite fell on it and died and died.

*doh!* sorry riverghost!

The pope.. he fucking stymies my plans!! but one day, one day man, on that day, woah.

Bum, I should have said "mobo" to sound all geeky and shit.

checking a spare one now

edit: so much for the spare, that had the 12v going down to 10v and wobbling about.

either the board's lost it's mental or I got two fucked supplies.

Knowing my luck I have 2 fucked supplies and 1 frazzled mental board :D

ah well, TO THE EMPORIUMS! (once I get my celery wired up and get my passwords of the hopefully not fucked hd from old machine)...

they're well expensive

deduct two points.
Also: leek.

deduct four pints. Points.
Lettuce

you little gem, you

Award me five points for thinking of Iced Gems. Mmmm.

*craves*

:D

a bin

no more, no less.

I.T. just tried to upgrade the security certificates on our website (something I normally do without incident) and they've managed to stack the whole server...I was hoping to get home before the tubes fill up with drunk/boisterous or drunk/angry soccerball morons, but now it looks like my journey will coincide just exactly with their leaving the pub :(

The insides are filled to the brim with pictures of flowers and kittehs. Comes with free earplugs.
I would 'shop this but have had too much G&T.

yay

Server still down, apparently because of corrupted file system

Fucksticks

Or use a pencil to work it out.

Must be a boring game!

instant meme

EDIT: Dead up to date with me memes me.

Just goes to show though, even in the garden of Eden they had lady shavers.

EDIT: Little Adam does look like he's about to do a Thunderbird 1 style launch though.

EDIT EDIT: I can't look at it now without hearing the music.

'babies forearm' Adam more like

he's going to eat it

That's the only thing my brain will accept.

who else was in the running?

Actually no, my brother would win.

very arrogant.

this video covers him and few others we would like to see the back of
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFOrIc8qRI0&list=UU76n20xvKDnzxgYaMvqw8Uw&index=5&feature=plcp

It looks like originally he may have been doing that thing where you clasp your fingers together and it looks like a fanny.

I was off my seat there for a sec'

FUCK YEAH!

so you should be used to my swearing by now

money well spent.

tpb has so much to answer for.

mostly all the shit you do in illustrator is smooth like fuck because of all the AA shit going on. this is actually corel painter.

nice try though

Shame on the rest of you.

:D

: )

has red and blue on it.

/racist lols

What are they doing now?

Is it too much to hope that they eventually find the best footsoccer team, they give them the cup and then no-one has to play it anymore?

hence everywhere north of Berwick supporting the frogs.

I'm part french and have the right to support them

It's not like each team has a vital supply of "support" to draw on that's going to be crucial if it comes to penalties

KEEP THE CROWD HAPPY TO INCREASE WORSHIP!

Find the best soap opera, the best swivel-eyed karaoke-singing mental-breakdown-waiting-to-happen, the best rom-com chick flick, the best shitty dancing/skating/insect-eating celebrity, the best snarky messageboard twat, and send them all off into the heart of the sun?

Or maybe we could just nuke the Earth to dust so no-one ever has to live with the pain of thinking that somewhere, just maybe, something is happening that they feel is beneath their fucking superiority complex?

edit: gawsh, call me Cilla.

go on football and scores a goal!

I mean, I'm English so naturally I hate the French, but having lived in England most of my life I think I hate English football fans more

a war on football, I think I would be vaguely supportive.

if they made it a jihad on lairyness in general.

and if england win I get my fiver back..so I really don't give a fuck. :)

Scotch football fans especially :)

let's not forget that.

beautiful game

in all fairness, after living in Northern Ireland for the past 3 years, and visiting the place for nigh-on 10... the anti-English banter gets my goat up.

Believe me, as a Geordie, the reasons I hate England will be the same reasons you do.

the whole "I hate you because of geographical location you popped out of a vagina" thing is just ultimate fucking pointless stupidity.

which suggested that supporting a team is basically just the desire to bask in reflected glory. People who have recently had a good personal achievement (eg a good test result) are apparently less likely to describe a team as "we", for example.

After reading that, I actually feel pity for many football supporters who must be using it to fill a certain sense of worthlessness.

Like me you support an utterly shit football team that has no glory to reflect? Is it not OK to just like a sport as it's fun?

I suspect it also has something to do with herd mentality, which must give a certain pleasure back to encourage people to do it.

Would you support your team if there was no one else supporting them?
If so, is it football you like or being in a lively crowd?

One hundred and eighty!

lol

Then we'd be right boned.

Is that Macaulay Culkin in drag?!?

did he have to do another u-turn to find her?
/politicsblog

Here was I thinking I had actually had an original hummus of my very own too. Well, in a way it was because I haven't listened to the radio today, just saw it on the BBC website.

Getting the worms in through the portholes is the tricky bit.

...to pearoast some old shit:

nice find

It's worthy of a wiggly woo

And nice tits ^

Great stuff!

485k pie in the mush version"

Nature is awesome.

And already pre-spanged

Woo

Not sure which is funnier, the idea of him cowering behind everyone else, leading from the back or just the idea of him following the football

:)

ed: no he doesn't but they both need a shotgun up the sphincter

that's democracy " in motion "

looks like we gotsa noo govment!

Since when has that slack-faced genetic disappointment spoke for everyone?

(african rake snake etc)

the rake snake is my favourite and Larson is my hero

in a non-excellent sort of way, if you get my drift..

Seen this?

:D

...but I'm preparing for extreme disappointment.

I've only just noticed how comically small the shoulder pad bit looks in the original poster, it helps to make his arm look massive as well as his noggin :D

But hiding the costume in darkness isn't fooling anyone.

Also the only good thing in the Sly version was the robot.

and removed the chance of a decent ABC Warriors movie

Ed: I just looked them up and they don't, but I like robos.

leader of the ABC Warriors, a different comic strip to Dredd.
It's like putting Garfield in to Roy of the Rovers because they were in the same newspaper

that's fucking sweet, I might have to get me some ABC Warriors now

GOOD TOAST JUICE!

To be fair I just want pictures of..Hammerstein doing stuff, he's the best one you know.

Let's meditate!

He's the best one, see, I know my shit

youtu.be/-uQU4ocgtbc

I'll still champion it, though - if this one tanks, my dream of seeing Judge Death stalking the streets of Mega City One at the cinema will probably get set back by at least another decade.

This is a wholly unacceptable outcome.

On the upside I'm now prepared for Dark Knight 2 to be pish, so if it's quite good I'll be more than happy.

Two things;

a) Joe Pineapples is the best ABC warrior - he listens to The Doors whilst on a sniping assassination run, doncha know. Keeps him cool.

b). Judge Dredd with Sly is O.K. There, I said it.