In the last two days I've
been introduced to a couple of b3tans in RL.

By "introduced" I mean I've found out the names and details of at least 4 of the people who have tried to bully me by mentioning my RL name on this website. A couple of them I knew months ago anyway. Thru my own internet sleuthing.

But I've decided to give them an early xmas present.
By giving their bosses a search link from this site to some of their.... "best" moments and providing them with their b3ta usernames. There was a couple of OBE and CBE's whose emails I had to chase up. and there was 1 person who is self-employed - finding some of their clients to notify was a bit more difficult.

Now I'm NOT going to name names because that would be against the rules of this website.
But in the mean time whether you believe me or not - for those of you who know you deserve this - have fun looking over your shoulder over the next few weeks.

[Mod edit]

Sigh. This is not right. A week's ban will become permanent if any of this actually happens. Finding people's details online is not hard and not evidence of your leet skillz.

Threatening to out people to their clients and employers is morally so out there, we're frankly worried for you s0ckpuppet.

The only reason this ban isn't immediately permament is that you've been goaded relentlessly by others. We've removed the stuff that crosses the line, and taken note of those who seem to enjoy keeping it just this side of acceptable. Beyond that, what is the point of this website?

If we ban everyone, where's the fun in that?

Meanwhile, everyone else: big Golf Clap for you too. Great. You've made someone totally flip out.

Kissy, kissy,
B3ta's pissed off Mod team.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 7:55, 182 replies)

Hahahahaha, oh god.
You pathetic mental prick.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 8:13, closed)

I may be wrong but I think the official process is not to email but to send letters on A5 Blue Basildon Bond
written in Green Qwink using a Parker Fountain Pen.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 8:20, closed)

Haven't played with qwink for many a year.
Now I have to dig up my calligraphy set.
You bastard!
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 9:44, closed)

Make sure you follow this website's rules to the letter....
...whilst simultaneously showing no knowledge of social normalism you fucking weird cunt.
(immadme, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 8:34, closed)

Congratulations
the way you have been treated is appalling and this is richly deserved revenge. The site has totally failed to protect its users in line with site policy.
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 8:45, closed)

I just want to be very clear that this isn't me with some obscure in-joke name change.
and that I very much do not share this opinion.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 8:47, closed)

who are you and what does my choice of username have to do with you?
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 8:48, closed)

And why do you not agree that the way he has been treated is appalling? if you seriously think whats been done is acceptable then you are lining yourself up alongside some pretty verminous company
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 8:49, closed)

You're conflating different things here.
It's possible to think that some of the stick he's got has crossed the line (and using his real name may be an example of this); but it doesn't follow from that that "this is richly deserved". You could even think that some sanction is merited, without having to think that any and all sanction is.
(Star Wars Starwarsy McStarwars Face, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 9:29, closed)

You're talking to another fartbelm sock puppet.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 9:47, closed)

Really?
Blimey. I didn't know that.
(Star Wars Starwarsy McStarwars Face, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:26, closed)

I don't think so
The customs story the other week made sense.
( chthonic, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:52, closed)

I wish I could click this.

( Muns, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:24, closed)

I think the best possible response to any affront is to be a mirror and repeat upon your offenders exactly the treatment they have meted out. His ID has been irrevocably linked to this site and his postings thanks to the actions of the vermin. This response isnt only fair, its morally right.

Its also a long way short of what I'd have done to them were I him. There'd be hospital stays involved...
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:06, closed)

I respect you for defending him and agree to a certain degree.
But I don't think you're doing yourself many favours now.
(Dr Doctor Can't you see I'm burning burning?, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:27, closed)

You are TREMENDOUSLY HARD, ONLINE.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:33, closed)

I think there is going to be a hospital stay involved.
When S0ckpuppets 'get well from your break down' card is circulated, I'll sign.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:57, closed)

would you bust a cap(s lock) in someones ass

( Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 12:28, closed)

You're on a watch list now.
Threats of real life violence will not be tolerated on b3ta. Consider yourself warned.
(The Goderator trumped and you smelt it, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 13:29, closed)

Even I had to jump in here
that was a very strange response.

Honestly scarpe, I don't think anyone was confusing the two of you.
Your point of view has been duly noted.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:01, closed)

'Even I had to jump in here'
Even you? Delusions of grandeur much?

*twirls finger round side of head*
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:08, closed)

Except for the fact that he's had most of the site on ignore, and has been deliberately logging out to read and reply to posts designed specifically to get a rise out if him.
So if anything, this is a bizarre form of internet self harm and he should be banned.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 8:53, closed)

If he just ignored it, I can guarantee it would stop.
The problem is, he's so desperate for the attention of which I'm sure he secretly loves, if people don't rise to him, he actively baits them into it. Look at AB's thread for a prime example of this. He accuses AB of threatening him, when he quite clearly does nothing of the sort, he strikes first and when the response comes, he plays the terrible internet bullying card.

I sat on the fence for a long time and observed, never really getting involved. Have a skim through his history. He's quite clearly mental.
( Muns, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 9:29, closed)

^^^

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 9:33, closed)

You sir should win a prize for being a mental cunt

( Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 8:57, closed)

Attempting to damage peoples careers?
Really? If you're getting that upset then perhaps you should give this place a miss for a while.
(_Battered_, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 8:57, closed)

It didnt occur to you that the sort of flights of fancy everyone may engage in on here could be career-damaging - but ONLY IF YOUR REAL ID IS KNOWN????

Which is exactly whats been done to him. This is the perfect, fitting, appropriate and 100% fair response.
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 9:18, closed)

go home, susan. you're drunk.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:02, closed)

Gets
popcorn.
(username failed moderation, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 9:17, closed)

Have you considered visiting a psychiatrist?
You're, quite clearly, fucking mental and quite possibly in need of a lengthy stay in a padded room for your own good.
( Muns, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 9:21, closed)

AHAHAHAHAHAHAOOOOOOHMAN. This is amazing.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 9:42, closed)

Ichi the Killer style AMAZING

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:13, closed)

An Analogy
If the new kid at school is ganged up on and attacked by a group of other kids simply because he is not like them, is the new kid wrong to attack them back?

And if the teachers will not do anything when the new kid is attacked, is the new kid wrong to tell the other kids parents what they are doing to him?

Did the kids dishing out the abuse do it thinking it was perfectly acceptable behaviour? or did they know it was wrong, but they did it because they thought there would be no action taken?

Is it right for the bully kids to whine now about it being not fair the new kid has told their parents and they could get into real big trouble now, or is it their own fault if the new kid hit them back twice as hard as they hit him?

Your servant .. Pope Sixtus V
(The Devils Advocate Blahblahblahblahblah, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 9:46, closed)

How many fairholme sock puppets are the Mods going to allow into this thread before banning the mental prick?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 9:49, closed)

That's a shit analogy.
School children don't have ignore 2.0 and the option to consistently expose themselves to what they perceive to be bullying, nor do they generally actively encourage it.
( Muns, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 9:54, closed)

Ah, I stand corrected
It is not the fault of the bully for lashing out, it is the fault of the victim for simply being different.

I remain your servant ... Pope Sixtus V
(The Devils Advocate Blahblahblahblahblah, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:06, closed)

You're missing the point entirely.
He's not a victim, he's bouncing around demanding to be "bullied" so he has something to cry about. He's mentally ill and should be banned for his own health.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:10, closed)

But Sir
You also miss the point of the Advocate representing the Devil.

It is my duty to represent the opposing argument from the point of veiw of the Devil himself, not the point of veiw of the neutral observer.

Glad you enjoyed the anal, one does try to work these little things in where one can.

Your Servant ... Pope Sixtus V
(The Devils Advocate Blahblahblahblahblah, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:13, closed)

Wait, are you one of those fundamentalist Christians
who believe that mental illness is caused by Satan?
( Muns, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:14, closed)

But who is the arbiter of normality?
Perhaps it is the lunatic who is in the normal state of mind decreed for humanity, but he is simply living during an epidemic of sanity that has infected the rest of the population to which he is immune.
(The Devils Advocate Blahblahblahblahblah, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:19, closed)

Nah, it's me innit.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:20, closed)

Perhaps there could be a wheel
with one small section painted red and marked "Looney"

A pointer could be added and the wheel spun. Should the quadrant marked Looney come to rest adjacent to the pointer once the spin is complete it would indicate the subject of the spin to indeed be a Looney.

You could be the guardian of the wheel. If you want

Your Servant ... Pope Sixtus V
(The Devils Advocate Blahblahblahblahblah, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:28, closed)

Pfft, anal.
In unrelated news, how is the devil the bad guy when he punishes the wicked?
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:16, closed)

Well done
Now you begin to think
(The Devils Advocate Blahblahblahblahblah, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:20, closed)

Not only that, he's been told by the mods to actually ignore the people he has on ignore.
And that's without mentioning the fact that he's started making stuff up now as well.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:14, closed)

Pfft, anal.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 9:58, closed)

is the "anal" a reminder that everyone is talking out of their arses?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:20, closed)

Is that why you're so loud?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:28, closed)

it's why you say everything twice
twice
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:37, closed)

it's a shame this wasn't posted earlier
I have a feeling this one could break the reply record.

Was that your intention I wonder?
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 9:49, closed)

I may be wrong, but I'm pretty
sure one of the puppies will very quickly restart it as soon as the question switches.

They're getting far too much attention here to let it slip away.
(username failed moderation, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:11, closed)

This isn't answering the question at all. You should really be posting something like this on off topic.
Edit: Hang on, is this Star Wars?
( Pig Bodine., Thu 12 Dec 2013, 9:51, closed)

i bet your one-room hovel looks like that bloke's room out of se7en.
this is beautiful. you have finally tipped over the edge from slight weirdo to a full-on, card-carrying, fur-lined, copper-bottomed, ocean-going mental.

please continue to post updates between your daily shots of haloperidol.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 9:52, closed)

Apologies for the reference...
But it's probably more like the room of the Steve Buscemi character from Billy Madison. (I have children.. that's why I've seen it.)
( Muns, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:02, closed)

Beniperidol
tastes better.

Doesn't it?
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:03, closed)

It was 'se7en' Janet you massive thickie
You're thinking of 5ive...I bet you do that a lot.
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:04, closed)

i don't know what you mean.
*whistles nonchalantly*
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:00, closed)

i.imgur.com/QECsBEq.jpg
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 9:53, closed)

I can almost garauntee you that my boss wouldn't give a fuck.
As my work life and my home life are separate.
In fact, he'd suggest you maybe need a lie down or a wank or something.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:08, closed)

I can guarantee that even if he had somehow managed to find out where I work, he wouldn't have got through the spam filter.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:11, closed)

I very much doubt he intends to carry out his threat.
But it will be interesting to find out if he does. Especially as I'm certain that you must be one of the people on his 'hit list'
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:13, closed)

He's probably got photos of me, AB and Shambles stuck on his wall with strings linking them and a post-it note saying "how are they connected?"
Which he kneels in front of and wanks while hitting himself with reeds.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:18, closed)

That has given me a mental* image so grimm
that I am considering drowning it with alcohol despite the fact it's not even half ten in the morning.

*emphasis on 'Mental'
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:22, closed)

Wow
I only saw this post because it came up on the preview for QOTW as I had, and will again have, sock on ignore. The only reason I'm replying is so that mods will read and then ban someone who is clearly unable to keep themselves safe on the internet. Also people are saying that none of this would have happened had Sock had people on ignore. People should also consider that this person would have had no fuel for his fire if they had put him on ignore.
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:12, closed)

He does have people on ignore, he just logs out so he can still see what they're saying and reply to it.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:15, closed)

All the people he's upsetting himself about have him on ignore. Every single one.
He's even been told by the Mods to stop logging in and out in order to upset himself. The bloke is very very ill.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:35, closed)

*Sits back and reaches for popcorn*
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:12, closed)

sweet or savoury?
or that chocolate covered caramel dirty little bitch?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:22, closed)

Extra salty.
But I am not telling you why.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:23, closed)

you disgusting rapey excuse for a human being
salty popcorn is gross.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:24, closed)

Rapey popcorn!
I have a new brand name now.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:44, closed)

^Aroused by popcorn^

(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:24, closed)

not even that exciting
greedy internet bitch
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:24, closed)

clickin dis so more of this site knows how precious you are
www.healthcentral.com/common/images/1/15766_34425_5.jpg
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:29, closed)

The next phase in the most drawn out mental breakdown the Internet has ever witnessed.
Spectacular.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:31, closed)

so basically you are a coward, you wont actually do anything on this website as you are shit scared of getting banned, well i'm afraid that is going to happen in a short while, tralaa lonely spineless wanker

(m0ngychops, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:32, closed)

^^Ooh that's some good winding up right there
Basically you're egging him on to carry out his threat on here for us all to enjoy. You may as well be saying 'Go on, I dare you. DO IT DO IT DO IT!'
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:37, closed)

i may have trolled once or twice before

(m0ngychops, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:39, closed)

lol - I wonder if there's a speed record for a thread on QOTW hitting 100 replies?

(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:40, closed)

I wonder if anyone cares?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:42, closed)

I said I wonder, I didn't say I cared.

(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:43, closed)

(Although it must've smashed 100 now)
:)
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:17, closed)

trips

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:17, closed)

phat trips get mike, played

(m0ngychops, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:25, closed)

thanks player
i went for it, i got it.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:28, closed)

whaammmmmmmbulance

(m0ngychops, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:38, closed)

:'(

(m0ngychops, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:46, closed)

well done you massive spastic cunt

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:35, closed)

Jesus and people thought I was shit

( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:41, closed)

Whoa, hang on.
Just because some blue-named snowflake has outed himself as weird and spasticated, it doesn't somehow make you not shit.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:43, closed)

That's a very good point.
Forget these one-hit wonders, it's all about reliability these days.
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:46, closed)

don't worry
I am sure this won't change anything.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:43, closed)

you are shit and i hope you get cancer of the spine

(m0ngychops, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:46, closed)

petition for frisbee adam to get cancer of the spine

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:46, closed)

Hey woah lets not make this thread about me

( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:49, closed)

Well now that s0ckpuppet has been stepped, who else is there?

(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:51, closed)

.......shit >:(

( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:55, closed)

No thread of note would be complete without

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:44, closed)

Woo, we got the mods seal of approval!
Seriously though can someone link me to the bullying that caused this.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:46, closed)

pls, i missed all this as i'm banned from this nonce section of the site

(m0ngychops, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:50, closed)

I guess it's www.b3ta.com/questions/celebencounters3/post2165735
( Muns, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:51, closed)

but that was 2 days ago.
unless I've underestimated s0ckpuppets autistic determination, he'd have had to have worked ROUND THE CLOCK to dox everyone who's ever wronged him.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:55, closed)

incoming trips

(m0ngychops, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:56, closed)

This is ace.
Qotw is amusing for a change.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:51, closed)

I hope this one wins

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:55, closed)

Good point
*clicks*
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 10:56, closed)

*click*

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:02, closed)

Good grief. You're not right.

( spesh., Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:08, closed)

Since I've been denied the right of reply to what the mods have to say.

Threatening to out people to their clients and employers is morally so out there, we're frankly worried for you s0ckpuppet.
No more so than [incorrectly] talking about how my wife has cuckolded me, and let's not forget the repeated slurs against me, using my real name. How about rory and AB talking about abusing my daughter while I cried into my pot noodles.

Too fucking late guys.

Mod edit: for which they were stepped.


The only reason this ban isn't immediately permament is that you've been goaded relentlessly by others.
Where were you then when that was happening?

Mod edit: stepping the ones that crossed the line, ignoring the ones that didn't. You don't get to make the decisions just like 'they' don't get to decide who gets banned.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:10, closed)

Jesus, just give up you weird prick.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:12, closed)

another ban incoming you retard, either man up and do it, or fuck off and stop wasting everybodies time

(m0ngychops, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:13, closed)

It's like watching a sculptor, mongy.
I hope you make your masterpiece.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:14, closed)

this one aint got the minerals to do it mike, i susspect this is all lies, if he had the names and info he would post them, out the bullies like he was outed

(m0ngychops, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:18, closed)

You could just try suing them for libel/slander.
Instead of taking a moronic approach that also leaves you open to libel/slander (and also harassment).
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:13, closed)

Is it a crime to be *too* spastic?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:15, closed)

I thought it was an achievement on XBox One?
Unlocked when you purchased it and signed in for the first time.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:19, closed)

Edgy

(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:21, closed)

^This is starting to get intersting...
interesting properly fucked up
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:13, closed)

funny though

( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:47, closed)

or both.

( spesh., Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:57, closed)

did any of this get you sacked?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:14, closed)

Let's take this as the cry for help it so blatantly is

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:14, closed)

Perhaps you should go and have a lie down for a bit eh?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:19, closed)

sick dubs
checked em
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:20, closed)

wizard i reckon

(m0ngychops, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:24, closed)

your local police and news station are going to be VERY confused
when all they have to work with is a tear-stained note, written on ham, that says 'THE MODS ON THE INTERNET WOULDN'T HELP ME I HAD TO DO THIS BADGER AND BRAYNDEDD ARE BULLIES'.

still, do carry on. this is gold.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:25, closed)

are you fat over here now?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:28, closed)

her fatness crosses all forms and forums

(m0ngychops, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:29, closed)

cascading dreamily in a hypnotic blaze
like a pair of flaming dice
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:32, closed)

mike man^

(m0ngychops, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:37, closed)

totes went for it, totes go it

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:38, closed)

you're on fucking fire

(m0ngychops, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:41, closed)

i'm fat everywhere, mike.
EVERYWHERE.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:36, closed)

Where's the celebrity story?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:46, closed)

So you absolutely do not understand why you've been stepped then?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:48, closed)

Ambassador, viz zese meltdowns, yew arr rilly spoiling us

( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 12:08, closed)

You should post this on /talk
They love this kind of thing on there.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:18, closed)

I love humanity
At times we're real cunts. Well done.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:23, closed)

This guy said it best
www.b3ta.com/questions/celebencounters3/post2166865
( kappynitty doubled your entendre on, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:31, closed)

YOU TERRIBLE CUNT
I've just been hauled up in front of my boss. He confronted me with a stack of b3ta printouts and demanded to know what I'd been up to.

'ANSWER ME MARSHMALLOW!' He bellowed. 'WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THIS?' He screamed whilst waving the papers in my face. 'TELL ME, IS IT TRUE?'

'Err...is what true?' I stammered.

'IS IT TRUE OR NOT? TELL ME NOW OR I'LL THROW YOU OUT OF HERE FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY 'P45'!'

'Sorry boss', I whimpered, 'is what true?'

'DOES THIS CUNT REALLY WHIP OUT HIS GREASY COCK AND PISS ON ABSOLUTELY EVERYBODY HE MEETS?'

'Err...yes boss, he does.'

'WHAT A CRETIN!' My boss thundered. 'NOW GET THE FUCK BACK TO WORK!'
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:32, closed)

"but actually, you are fired for being a creepy, email stalking, weirdo pervert'. he added.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:34, closed)

Don't BULLY me!
Or I'll expose you to your clients and bosses and family and the police and the army and the government.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:52, closed)

bullshit, this didn't happen

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:34, closed)

The joke here is that you are the self employed one.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:35, closed)

With 100's of clients. Some of whom have OBE's and CBE's apparently.

( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:37, closed)

I dont have an OBOE

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:41, closed)

It pains me to say this, but
I BELIEVE IN ALBERT LIEMALLOW.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 12:10, closed)

Anyone have a screencap of the original, unedited version?

And I can't believe the cunt found me through my OBE.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:37, closed)

Here is an excellent chair

( DinivanX Has stinging piss after drinking Pact Coffee, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:38, closed)

I don't really know what happened to lead up to the stuff in this thread, but I'm really excited by all the ado.

( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:38, closed)

Much of it is about nothing.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:40, closed)

i can't remember. was sockpuppet the same one who was always writing stories about sex with minors?
If so I said a few things in the reply after the fouth story in a row that mentioned it, as i worried it could signify a real life predeliction, as it's an odd thing to be always boasting about, even in qotw lies.
Still, I should have held me tongue if as I didn't know he was mental. Sad news.

in other news, this place has mods?
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:41, closed)

yeah i think it is a massive nonce

(m0ngychops, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:42, closed)

Seems to be admitting to being a sex offender here
www.b3ta.com/questions/celebencounters3/post2167076
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 12:07, closed)

^nah, I think that was Rabid 'Noncepunch' Rodent.
and as for the 'mods', they're a fickle bunch who waft in and out occasionally
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:49, closed)

ahh, you're right
i feel less guilty now
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 12:01, closed)

*insert Steve Macdonald image here*

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 11:59, closed)

+ Mrs Doyle

(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 12:11, closed)

If I mention SHEDS, will this goad the mods into taking this thread down?
As entertaining as it is (and it is), it strikes me that the decent thing to do would be to remove it.

To quote a decapitated android, "I can't lie to you about your chances, but... you have my sympathies".
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 12:20, closed)

so if someone's boss pulls them up for something with no bearing on their professional life
And we let the mods know, then Ringofyre here gets permabanned?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 12:21, closed)

No one gets permabanned from b3ta.
Mildly inconvenienced for a week, perhaps, but not banned.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 12:25, closed)

Bou got banned and she wasn't having nearly as dramatic an episode as this.
But that was back in the days when the Mods gave a shit about the site and its users.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 13:40, closed)

Top Work.
(Bum Bag Fashion Boy Burned a home made pizza on, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 12:23, closed)

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 12:36, closed)

Cheers.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 12:42, closed)

It's a shame that Monty has fucked off id like to have seen his kind and considered take on this gem.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 12:44, closed)

my boss just had a 'quiet word' with me

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 12:58, closed)

was it "pull that hamster out of your arse and do some work" ?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 12:59, closed)

Fucking hell, no need to shout.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 13:00, closed)

IT WAS A WHISPER COMPARED TO YOUR MUM

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 13:15, closed)

Wow...
I hope someone sends my boss a link to something on here - it may stop him asking what I'm laughing about when he can read it himself and not over my shoulder.
( snee held his breath since, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 13:00, closed)

This is
the best piece of internet - ever.
(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 13:09, closed)

Nahhhh. Been loads more better than this

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 13:12, closed)

Fair point
Distinct lack of dog fingering, sheds, and noncery etc...

But there is a LOT of mental.
(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 13:18, closed)

Alright?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 13:11, closed)

I'm guessing "no"

( DinivanX Has stinging piss after drinking Pact Coffee, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 13:34, closed)

Well done, chap: You are King of the Internet!!!!!!!! Here's your prize:
*pulls down trousers*
*does massive liquid shit over keyboard*
( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 13:39, closed)

You should have kept quiet. Then slowly tracked down all the offenders, arriving in the dead of night, so the first thing they saw when they opened their eyes was you. You could have then said something perfect like, 'I will have my revenge. In this life or the next.' Before unleashing a vile, hot, stinking stream of piss from your festering, greasy cock.

That would have been far more fun.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 12 Dec 2013, 13:45, closed)