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This is a link post Police have developed a new method of stopping cars.
This will replace the T-Pac and Pit Manoeuvres in due course.

Beeb link
 (BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:28, , Reply)
This is a normal post I don't understand how a 70 year old man can walk away from a 50MPH head-on crash uninjured...

(I helped save b3ta! Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:36, , Reply)
This is a normal post Little known fact
the Honda Jazz is made from the same stuff as children's dolls, the sort that are always left poignantly intact after a major disaster.
 (fridgefreezer inserted a topical reference into his sig on, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:50, , Reply)
This is a normal post I hope they upload the dash-cam vid to youtube.

(pissflaps. FSPW, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:52, , Reply)
This is a normal post Should've just pulled alongside and shot the twat

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 18:24, , Reply)
This is a link post New Vice documentary
Looks rather good. I and don't even care for skateboarding.
(The Tramp Surveyor, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:27, , Reply)
This is a normal post That looks great
Thanks for the heads up.
 (I helped save b3ta! Nuisance Value, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 18:50, , Reply)
This is a link post how to make something really simple really unusable and complicated
graph for scottish independence; yes vs no. In a graph.

how hard is that?

very, if your graph making team are spastic mongs.
 (I helped save b3ta! colmcq2, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:18, , Reply)
This is a normal post When do the porridge wogs make their mind up, it's getting boring now.

(pissflaps. FSPW, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:19, , Reply)
This is a normal post when we sober up long enough to get to the polling station you english twat

(I helped save b3ta! colmcq2, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:26, , Reply)
This is a normal post Gis a bottle of Bucky

(mrmatt is staging a 'dirty protest' on, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:31, , Reply)
This is a normal post Not much chance of that then!

(pissflaps. FSPW, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:34, , Reply)
This is a normal post colonised by twats

(Scienti read a strong opinion on the internet on, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:36, , Reply)
This is a normal post Speaking of scottish Independence.
This Accidental Partridge is fantastic.
 (I helped save b3ta! Pig Bodine., Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:31, , Reply)
This is a normal post Jeez, that's got to be deliberate.
Or, maybe not. #ScoortlandDecides
 (I helped save b3ta! Ghoti Fingers, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:48, , Reply)
This is a normal post Mmmmnnnnnnggggg.
They should do this as a series of 100 pie charts.
 (I helped save b3ta! Ghoti Fingers, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:41, , Reply)
This is a normal post Scotch pies, if you will.

(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:12, , Reply)
This is a normal post fuuuck
highcharts has about a million chart types too. There's really no excuse
 (theswollenbeef where there's a will there's a wank, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:29, , Reply)
This is a normal post dude the bar one is shit but
what's wrong with the line graph? that's the one i use to see what's going on poll wise cos it has all the polls and on the site you can see what different combinations of the separate polls look like. (obviously all the polls gives you a better overall idea but i found it interesting to see what happened when you take out tory ashcrofts polls and tory yougov polls) :D
 (I helped save b3ta! tickle I was away, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 16:27, , Reply)
This is a link post Barely Legal Porn!
One of the best adverts you're likely to see!
 (I helped save b3ta! @RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:14, , Reply)
This is a normal post May I enquire as to the nature of the link before I click on it?

(I helped save b3ta! Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:19, , Reply)
This is a normal post ^this
With nobs on (hahahaha)
 (BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:28, , Reply)
This is a normal post Should be 'Pawn' same as other link.. .

(Spin Its a thing., Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:41, , Reply)
This is a normal post
b3ta.com/links/Barely_legal_pawn

I didn't watch it the first time, though. Now I have and I enjoyed it quite a bit.
 (I helped save b3ta! the prick of misery pierced my foot on a spiiiike on, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:42, , Reply)
This is a normal post It was quite good actually!
and Julia Louis-Dreyfus is all of the sexeh.
 (I helped save b3ta! Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:02, , Reply)
This is a link post My Parents Open Carry
The reviews are great.
 (I helped save b3ta! smaggers Like a gibbon on helium, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:03, , Reply)
This is a normal post Hahahahahaha
"Can't wait for the sequel,. "My Black Parents Open Carried Until the Police Shot Them 146 Times".

The comments are quite good, and inevitably obvious. And as the smile fades, you just fucking sigh.
 (I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:16, , Reply)
This is a normal post Unfortunately this ^

(mrmatt is staging a 'dirty protest' on, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:31, , Reply)
This is a normal post "Before writing this, we looked for pro-gun children's books and couldn't find any."
I cant imagine why
 (benito vaselini no not that one, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:19, , Reply)
This is a normal post I should imagine you have to be quite a hardened twat to actually buy anything like this, or this:
Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought

Raising Boys Feminists Will Hate

"This is brilliant. I suggest every right-wing lunatic I know get this book so they can raise their male children never to have consensual sex.."
 (I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:26, , Reply)
This is a normal post Hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:33, , Reply)
This is a normal post Jesus.

(I helped save b3ta! Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:21, , Reply)
This is a normal post Good old gunmetal.

(I helped save b3ta! Pig Bodine., Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:25, , Reply)
This is a normal post Gunmetal has written a book, cool.

(pissflaps. FSPW, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:07, , Reply)
This is a normal post I prefer to keep them guessing. If criminals aren't sure who's armed that increases the deterrence.
Plus, criminals are always reaching for cops' guns because they know right where they are, like what happened in St. Louis.
 (I helped save b3ta! gunmetal drove slowly in the passing lane on, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 18:39, , Reply)
This is a normal post Surely that should be 'My Parents Openly Carry Guns'?
Open Carry makes no fucking sense.
 (I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:43, , Reply)
This is a normal post Fuck this

(I helped save b3ta! presferatu, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 17:11, , Reply)
This is a normal post superb

(I helped save b3ta! tickle I was away, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 17:31, , Reply)
This is a link post Silica and Soda Ash Phallus Be damned
I have just made some lurrrrrverly toast and had this catchy little ditty in my swede
(I helped save b3ta! theWooinator, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:57, , Reply)
This is a normal post Luton's Finest :D
that's in my playlist, cracking ditty :D
 (I helped save b3ta! lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm), Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:25, , Reply)
This is a normal post Super stuff.

(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:46, , Reply)
This is a normal post I didn't know this existed.
I know now. Thanks.
*goes off to make toast*
 (I helped save b3ta! Taramasalata is not angry, just disappointed on, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 21:56, , Reply)
This is a normal post The
best thing Paul Young ever did. Love it!
 (ccc, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:13, , Reply)
This is a link post Lethal Weapon actor Gary Busey says he was visited by Patrick Swayze's ghost
I'm visualising the obvious with this..
 (I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:37, , Reply)
This is a normal post My girlfriend watches this and i happened to catch the moment Gary Busey was going into the house
it was actually rather traumatic, the guy is 70 years old, obviously suffering still from the accident he had that caused damage to his brain and on top of that the overdose on cocaine he suffered. He did not look well, and in my eyes should certainly not be in that fucking loony bin that is Big Brothers House.

Having said that if he feels he is fit for it then good on him. But we may see an on air death/stroke i think.
 (I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:52, , Reply)
This is a normal post I liked this bit of cutting sarcasm:
"Following Gary's surprising revelation, Will and Grace actor and fellow CBB housemate Leslie Jordan praised his "amazing" mental ability."
 (I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:59, , Reply)
This is a normal post yeah it was a bit harsh...

(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:01, , Reply)
This is a normal post My new favourite website

(yokelrobin THE NERD WHOSE HAIR DEFIES GRAVITY/FASHION, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:47, , Reply)
This is a normal post What planet are these people from?
oh yeah Vegan
 (dirk speedrift Sit doon, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:52, , Reply)
This is a normal post My Ex knows one of these people.
I don't
 (I helped save b3ta! Locus213 Slightly to the left of Bakunin, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:09, , Reply)
This is a normal post A first.. blocked for (nudity,dining/restaurant)

(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:10, , Reply)
This is a normal post Impressive

(I helped save b3ta! spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:41, , Reply)
This is a normal post vegan---attractive?
more pasty ill looking and immaciated

"vegans *cough* so sdkaldskl healthy"

soz if youre a vegan, but you all look like day walkers
 (I helped save b3ta! colmcq2, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:40, , Reply)
This is a normal post THEY DON'T EAT BACON!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:56, , Reply)
This is a normal post There is definitely something wrong with the world

When people willingly deny themselves bacon.
 (I helped save b3ta! Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 16:54, , Reply)
This is a normal post Inedible recipes from unattractive naked people
Vegans don't have to be pasty LGBQTABCDLMNOPXYZs and the food doesn't have to look and taste like shit, but you'd never know that from this site.
 (ReallyEvilCanine looks like an upside-down question mark with hair, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:22, , Reply)
This is a link post TUSK trailer
Kevin Smith's adaptation of the Brighton walrus costume ad that appeared on Gumtree a few years ago sqmagazine.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Walrus-Gumtree-Brighton.jpg Strikes me as a more realistic version of 50 Shades Of Grey.

Apols if GC
(BarryFromTheShitFarm Oh, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:23, , Reply)
This is a normal post No way.
It's the kid from 6th sense.
 (Night_ninja, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:19, , Reply)
This is a normal post That looks great!

(I helped save b3ta! Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:26, , Reply)
This is a normal post How silly. And excellent.

(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:21, , Reply)
This is a normal post awwww, I thought that was Thrusk, from Fast Show...

(I helped save b3ta! lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm), Wed 20 Aug 2014, 14:28, , Reply)
This is a link post You guys seen the fish playing Street Fighter?
It's great watching
 (I helped save b3ta! Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:53, , Reply)
This is a normal post That is fantastic!

(I helped save b3ta! BaronMunchausen Interdimensional Demon Day Laborer, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 16:12, , Reply)
This is a link post My gif(t) from me to you... an animated gif(t). It's a gif... (t)

(I helped save b3ta! mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:25, , Reply)
This is a normal post Err
"Based on your organization's access policies, access to this web site ( gifs.com/EC8 ) has been blocked because the web category "Pornography" is not allowed."
 (I helped save b3ta! Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:33, , Reply)
This is a normal post I've looked through about a 1000 of the gifs...
...and only one of them had a guy playing a xylophone with his penis.
 (I helped save b3ta! Marxist Pig Better Red Than Smeg, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:44, , Reply)
This is a normal post You dropped this:
"I am disappoint"
 (I helped save b3ta! Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:57, , Reply)
This is a normal post Thank god for tethering
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
 (I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:58, , Reply)
This is a normal post well it was this
cdn.gifbay.com/2013/06/just_a_chimpracoon_space_program-59355.gif
 (I helped save b3ta! mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 20:08, , Reply)
This is a link post Nathan For You: The Claw Of Shame
What a trick.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:37, , Reply)
This is a normal post Thats funny as fuck

(I helped save b3ta! theWooinator, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:42, , Reply)
This is a normal post :D

(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:47, , Reply)
This is a normal post Ok wheres the follow up video?

(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:53, , Reply)
This is a normal post I did post the whole video a while back but it has been taken down
he manages to escape with a few seconds remaining
 (I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:13, , Reply)
This is a normal post Shit
I was looking forward to some company.
 (I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:16, , Reply)
This is a normal post It's a cliff hanger.
Can we still say Cliff on here when it's regarding nonces!
 (I helped save b3ta! Flash_Bastard, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:22, , Reply)
This is a normal post careful careful...

(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:24, , Reply)
This is a normal post All hail the claw.

(I helped save b3ta! da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:55, , Reply)
This is a normal post They should have Chris Hansen around the corner....

(I helped save b3ta! Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:58, , Reply)
This is a normal post So it's not illegal to threaten indecent exposure?

(I helped save b3ta! clockworkrat has nice pants, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:18, , Reply)
This is a normal post Ha hahahahaha good lord

(I helped save b3ta! CysticSpazzGland has just puwked on your mum, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 20:17, , Reply)
This is a normal post his tv show
is the best thing on right now
 (Bort Marley, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 4:27, , Reply)
This is a link post Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys does the ice water challenge NSFW

Try to avoid all these FB trending bits n pieces but when Bubbles is involved, I'm interested :o)
(I helped save b3ta! Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:34, , Reply)
This is a normal post Eddie the Eagle?

(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:41, , Reply)
This is a normal post Bubbles cries a bit more.

(I helped save b3ta! Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:42, , Reply)
This is a normal post Quick T-J folks.
Our cunt of an MD got fired recently for gross financial mismanagement and general ineptitude. Her card has come round and I can't think what to write in it. It can't be openly offensive, but I'm fucked if I'm going to lie and say "good luck". She was a stupid, antagonistic bully and I wish her fat arse would rot in hell's toilet, but writing these things in a card can come back and bite you. She might remain in the industry, you see...
Alternatively, I'll write nothing, of course.
Thoughts please...
 (I helped save b3ta! Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:03, , Reply)
This is a normal post How about
"Hope you find a job more suitable for your talents"
 (I helped save b3ta! Thrill_My_Chinchilla is old and unimproved, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:07, , Reply)
This is a normal post Politely decline and pass it on
I don't think a leaving card is appropriate in that situation.
 (I helped save b3ta! evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:07, , Reply)
This is a normal post
Or get a big red marker and scrawl "So long, smelly minge cow bags" on it.
 (BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:09, , Reply)
This is a normal post This is the best option so far :)

(I helped save b3ta! Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:10, , Reply)
This is a normal post Or, you know, ^this

(I helped save b3ta! evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:13, , Reply)
This is a normal post Is she any good with sarcasm?
If so, put 'Thanks for everything'.

Edit: But yes, I'd go with the sensible views of pass it on.
 (BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:08, , Reply)
This is a normal post I'd pass
if you're worried about burning bridges, don't
 (I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:08, , Reply)
This is a normal post CDC

(I helped save b3ta! Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:11, , Reply)
This is a normal post 'If wisdom grew on trees you would be a bush'

(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:11, , Reply)
This is a normal post Wait a sec
Since when does someone who got fired rate a leaving card?

Return it unsigned.
 (I helped save b3ta! wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:11, , Reply)
This is a normal post No-one here knows she was fired (other than a handful of people including me)
She was utterly directionless, disastrously and despotically confident in her woeful decisions, and then shock-horror, we're massively down on figures and a little concerned about jobs. A glimmer of hope arrived in the form of a dynamic (and rather angry) new marketing manager. She hired him, but once he saw the state the business was in, his opinion of her couldn't be lower. As one of her last acts, she fired him. Similar to that bit in the first LOTR films where the dragon grabs Gandalf as it falls into the pit. I couldn't hate a person more. The fact that people still like her here just makes me even angrier.
 (I helped save b3ta! Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:18, , Reply)
This is a normal post Don't sign it, wait for her to go and then tell everyone the truth.

(I helped save b3ta! Pig Bodine., Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:23, , Reply)
This is a normal post Her firing may have a confidentiality clause, applying to both the ex-employee and the employers.
Best to not tell everyone the truth, and I certainly wouldn't go telling everyone on teh internets.

:-)
 (I helped save b3ta! sm.pl.crt.rs I don't fucking know, do I?, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:13, , Reply)
This is a normal post Never consider consequences.
They only ruin things.
 (I helped save b3ta! Pig Bodine., Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:19, , Reply)
This is a normal post I like your style.

(I helped save b3ta! sm.pl.crt.rs I don't fucking know, do I?, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 16:48, , Reply)
This is a normal post
oh, thanks for ruining the lord of the rings for me. i was saving that for special.
 (I helped save b3ta! unclepills, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:52, , Reply)
This is a normal post So someone gets fired for being shit and then someone decided to buy them a leaving card?
Head butt the person who thought of this idea.
 (I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:12, , Reply)
This is a normal post "Take it easy" or "have a good one".
On the face of it well meaning but could mean..."take it easy you lazy jobless C***" or "have a good death, car accident, hemorrhoid removal op...whatever..." Add a smiley face with a crooked not 'really a smile' expression...this may take some practice to get just right.
 (I helped save b3ta! transparenttown Dead to worse..., Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:13, , Reply)
This is a normal post Do a big poo in the envelope.
With an X.
 (I helped save b3ta! sir_spicious2000 Crap I've watched: www.filmplop.blogspot.com/, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:15, , Reply)
This is a normal post "Thanks for leaving."

(I helped save b3ta! Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:16, , Reply)
This is a normal post Haha, this is up there with BombayMick's option.
Keep them coming.
 (I helped save b3ta! Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:19, , Reply)
This is a normal post CONGRATULATIONS!!

(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:27, , Reply)
This is a normal post I like this.

(I helped save b3ta! Pig Bodine., Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:50, , Reply)
This is a normal post I think it sums up the sentiments exactly.

(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:16, , Reply)
This is a normal post " We were very lucky to get you to work with us"

(I helped save b3ta! da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:32, , Reply)
This is a normal post nothing is the choice, but you could always be so nice that everyone knows it's a dig:
your inspirational leadership will be missed...
 (TX1 time to start..., Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:32, , Reply)
This is a normal post "Hope you do better at your next job"

(I helped save b3ta! MyFrontFellOff ; his mouth full of teddies, urinating defiantly, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:39, , Reply)
This is a normal post Blank sounds sensible.
Or an insult and sign the name of someone you don't like.
 (I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:39, , Reply)
This is a normal post Haha, someone has written "Gonna miss you", so I'm going to prefix that with "Not"

(I helped save b3ta! Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:42, , Reply)
This is a normal post Pop a SlimFast shake sachet in the card.
Message: "Have a drink on me you fat cunt."
 (Leemondus, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:40, , Reply)
This is a normal post Just sign it with your man butter

(I helped save b3ta! Fadgebadger (1 like), Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:42, , Reply)
This is a normal post Ooo, leftfield. I like it.
I think I could dig some extra vintage smegma out of my fiveskin specially for this.
 (I helped save b3ta! Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:45, , Reply)
This is a normal post say exactly what you think and then sign it with someone elses name

(I helped save b3ta! mutated monty, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:46, , Reply)
This is a normal post What about something like
"This proves my theory that women aren't cut out for jobs beyond PA or secretary"
 (I helped save b3ta! herd of chickens First part only £1.99 and comes with a free, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:47, , Reply)
This is a normal post cough to get everyone's attention before tearing it up, explaining what a mess she was, putting everyone's jobs at risk

(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:49, , Reply)
This is a normal post
"Happy Birthday"
 (UTB, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:55, , Reply)
This is a normal post
Worked at a BIG company once and one morning we were told that one of the cleaners had died at the weekend. Rather sad. The whole office (100-200 people) signed his card with condolences, except a dickish French bloke who didn't look at the card and just wrote "good luck in your new job". Haha!
 (I helped save b3ta! Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:59, , Reply)
This is a normal post haha!
I always find the best method of writing something offensive is to pretend you haven't read the card or who it is to.
 (UTB, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:03, , Reply)
This is a normal post If the reason she's going isn't public knowledge,
just sign it without a message. You can afford to be magnanimous.
 (I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:01, , Reply)
This is a normal post Try something like
"I'll never work with someone like you again"

or

"You're like nobody I've ever worked with before"

or

"You're a cunt. Fuck off."
 (yokelrobin THE NERD WHOSE HAIR DEFIES GRAVITY/FASHION, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:09, , Reply)
This is a normal post Write my phone number in it and ask her to give me a call.

(pissflaps. FSPW, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:16, , Reply)
This is a normal post "cheers luv"

(benito vaselini no not that one, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:32, , Reply)
This is a normal post How about...
You made for an interesting case study of the Dunning-Kruger effect.
 (I helped save b3ta! ChairmanMiaow Stop! Look! Kitten!, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:46, , Reply)
This is a normal post That's a good one

(I helped save b3ta! spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:17, , Reply)
This is a normal post You welcome use my standard leaving card message...
"I will never forget that weekend at the Travelodge in Tenby"
 (stealthbanana, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:54, , Reply)
This is a normal post I have always used
"I will never forget the times we shared" and "This is the end of an error\\\\\ era."
 (1110, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:09, , Reply)
This is a normal post Write exactly what you want to say, but with a UV pen

(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:29, , Reply)
This is a normal post "Bye"
That's it.

oops, wrong place..
 (I helped save b3ta! mugwump In summary then, oh no. Chris., Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:17, , Reply)
This is a normal post 'salright
I like it. Thanks!
 (I helped save b3ta! Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:20, , Reply)
This is a normal post This man makes me moist.

(I helped save b3ta! da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:31, , Reply)
This is a normal post And me

Evidently.
 (I helped save b3ta! Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:53, , Reply)
This is a normal post Fed up of the water challenge now.

(I helped save b3ta! Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:04, , Reply)
This is a normal post This is actually the first one I've seen

My friend said there's a few people he'd like to see do it with boiling water.

I'd nominate Bono.
 (I helped save b3ta! Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:06, , Reply)
This is a normal post Edmonds.

(Jimbotfu Bummed in the gob again, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:27, , Reply)
This is a normal post As funny as Limmy

(I helped save b3ta! Flash_Bastard, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:29, , Reply)
This is a normal post Harsh, but fair.

(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:31, , Reply)
This is a normal post Oof!

(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:36, , Reply)
This is a normal post ain't it
used to like Trailer Park Boys though
 (I helped save b3ta! Elvis impersonator, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:45, , Reply)
This is a link post As it's Joshua Bonehill week here on /links, here's a Tumblr account purely dedicated to his absolutely consistency in word and gesture.
What an pathetic, hilarious knob-cheese he is.

That video posted yesterday amused me no end. His attempt at a posh politician's accent being woefully undermined by the fact that he was unwilling to pronounce his "th"s correctly. Vis and vat, innit?
 (I helped save b3ta! Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:22, , Reply)
This is a normal post He does sound like he would fit into the Nazi society of the Islamic State perfectly
We should organise a kickstarter campaign to fly him out there
 (I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:40, , Reply)
This is a link post American journalist James Foley beheaded by 'British jihadist'
Rubber dinghy rapids, bro.
 (Spin Its a thing., Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:11, , Reply)
This is a normal post I clicked on a link to the video of this last night.
I knew I wouldn't/could't watch it but I saw the opening few seconds where the victim was talking to the camera. I haven't been able to get that image out of my head for 12 hours. Just horrific and terrifically saddening.
 (I helped save b3ta! Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:19, , Reply)
This is a normal post I couldnt watch anything like that
A 'mate' did show me a video on his phone which turned out to be a beheading. Turned my stomach.Still can see it now 5 years on.
 (Spin Its a thing., Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:20, , Reply)
This is a normal post yeah but thanks to the wonders of Facebook
we are now going to spend the next month scrolling down our news feeds and having automatically playing beheading videos. Which is nice...
 (I helped save b3ta! Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:37, , Reply)
This is a normal post Absolutely

FBaC.
 (I helped save b3ta! Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:42, , Reply)
This is a normal post settings/video/uncheck Auto-play
for android dunno
according to wired, in the fb app you can find it under settings/facebook/settings
 (macroscian (1 like), Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:56, , Reply)
This is a normal post Yeah I think you can do it on the website too

I just hate all these updates for shit you don't need.

Like Java - every week my Java needs updating and usually fails. All it then does is make me untick an option to have a toolbar and homepage etc. That's all they keep 'updating' it for.
 (I helped save b3ta! Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:56, , Reply)
This is a normal post disabled java entirely on my work laptop, enabling only when needed
I think that particular one went from
"Sir, I am vulnerable and need to get updated immediately"
through "You bastard, don't be so bloody selfish, update your java"
to just sobbing quietly when it sees me.

Not updated it for a year now and I see no change other than not having it wrapped around that system like a wet blanket.

Also, it runs on xp. No updates.
 (macroscian (1 like), Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:56, , Reply)
This is a normal post Shit just got serious

(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:19, , Reply)
This is a normal post All widdle in me gob.

(Jimbotfu Bummed in the gob again, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:21, , Reply)
This is a normal post Fer fucks sake, this countries been way too lax on religious fascism for a whole generation and now we're exporting it.
Not just talking about various governments that have been and gone but the people at large.

Every time these fuckers march they get to spout their hatred and turn more minds and people don't seem to care because it's dressed up as "religion".
I used to live near Finsbury park and every friday Hamsa was allowed by the police to block a major road for prayers.
Take away the sky being badge it's right up there with the 3rd reich.
We wouldn't have another "Battle of Cable Street" these days for fear of being branded an EDL racist.

We're locking up environmental protesters under the anti terrorists legislation but you can march in the street calling for the killing of others because of their faith, creed or race and the police will protect them.

Rant over...
 (I helped save b3ta! Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:18, , Reply)
This is a normal post ^THIS.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:34, , Reply)
This is a normal post ^Amen

(Spin Its a thing., Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:43, , Reply)
This is a normal post I can't click on or read anything to do with it. They kept saying the word "beheaded" on BBC Breakfast this morning and I had to switch it off.
The whole thing makes me nauseous to the point where I need to breathe slowly.

My brain just can't compute that one human being can look another in the eye and execute them in that way, or any way for that matter. But beheading especially, I think, is at the most base level of brutality, barbarity and savageness. It is inhumane and it is inhuman.

I am genuinely horrified.
 (I helped save b3ta! Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:58, , Reply)
This is a normal post It's pretty final too, from what I've heard.
I haven't seen the statistics but I'm pretty sure that relatively few make a full recovery.
 (Jimbotfu Bummed in the gob again, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:31, , Reply)
This is a normal post I'm not sure about the brutality bit.
Beheading someone with a kitchen knife, yes. But the guillotine was adopted precisely because it's quick, efficient, and probably painless - in other words, it was considered by the Jacobins to be desirable precisely because it was dignified.

But I take your point in this context. There's a hell of a difference between a clean removal of head from torso and hacking it off.
 (I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:34, , Reply)
This is a normal post I'm not just talking about the act of the removal of the head.
What kind of distress do you think the victim is in as he contemplates the blade hitting the back of his neck?

I don't think he's thinking "Great, at least it's quick". I think it would probably be more like sheer panic. I think he probably anticipates the feeling of the blade slicing through his skin and muscle. He probably hopes that if this is going to happen, hopefully it'll be over in one swipe. But what if it only goes halfway on the first swing?

His natural extinct is probably to dodge the blade, but if he's blind folded, he's not sure when it's coming. He'll hear the executioner's clothes ruffle as he starts the swipe; can he move quick enough to get out of the way?

He probably thinks of his family and how they might imagine his head rolling along the floor and his body slumping to the ground. Maybe that the executioner will hold his head up by the hair as a trophy.

How his body will probably just be dumped by a rock somewhere and his family will never get to give him a proper burial or say goodbye. How the people around him will cheer when he's dead.

I imagine he probably emptied his bladder and bowels whilst knelt down waiting for it.

There is nothing - precisely nothing dignified about it.
 (I helped save b3ta! Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:53, , Reply)
This is a normal post I don't disagree in this context.
I was just making a rather pedantic point about beheading generally.
 (I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:21, , Reply)
This is a normal post Yeah, soz. Didn't mean to go on a rant at you personally!

(I helped save b3ta! Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:18, , Reply)
This is a normal post For someone who doesn't like to think about beheading...
...you certainly think about beheading a great deal.
 (Jimbotfu Bummed in the gob again, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 13:24, , Reply)
This is a link post barmaid skills
well, i was impressed.
(I helped save b3ta! Ya What Skiddlyboop, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:10, , Reply)
This is a normal post I can see why you're impressed;
but I think Hell must be like bars such as that.
 (I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:20, , Reply)
This is a normal post yep
I'm assuming she's put 'novelty multi-drink pouring' on her c.v though.
 (I helped save b3ta! Ya What Skiddlyboop, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:30, , Reply)
This is a normal post Would be quicker to piss in 10 glasses.

(I helped save b3ta! Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:04, , Reply)
This is a normal post What's the fucking point of that?
By the time she came back with the glasses, she could have just poured directly into the shot glasses.

I really don't see the point of jeigerbombs. It's like getting a meal and they put the chips in a little bowl and put the bowl on the plate, just stick the chips on the fucking plate. Gah..
 (I helped save b3ta! mugwump In summary then, oh no. Chris., Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:16, , Reply)
This is a normal post There's a time and a place

Usually in a bar like this, when you're hammered and personally, I found it impressive.

You always regret it in the morning, mind.
 (I helped save b3ta! Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:02, , Reply)
This is a normal post Very mixed feelings here:
1. I want the person videoing this to die horribly in a fire
2. I want all his friends to join him
3. The barmaid has skilful show of pouring the vile stuff; useful for extracting tips from drunks.
4. The only way you'd get me to drink that shit is if she'd poured it on her boobies...
 (I helped save b3ta! da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 10:36, , Reply)
This is a normal post ^ all of the above

(I helped save b3ta! simbosan liked your link on, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:00, , Reply)
This is a normal post Gah
That doesn't look like a place where you could sit quietly and have a nice sensible conversation :(
 (yokelrobin THE NERD WHOSE HAIR DEFIES GRAVITY/FASHION, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 11:12, , Reply)
This is a normal post I hope this doesn't discourage other idiots from uploading their exploits for our amusement.

(I helped save b3ta! Pig Bodine., Wed 20 Aug 2014, 8:50, , Reply)
This is a link post Nice reveal
Seen on Facebook so probably glasscocking myself mightily.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 8:02, , Reply)
This is a normal post yep, you are

(sithemong, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 8:04, , Reply)
This is a normal post Bend him over,
get the glass cock out, we're going in dry.
 (Spin Its a thing., Wed 20 Aug 2014, 9:04, , Reply)

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