Feeling blasphemous I suppose...

"A finger of fudge is just enough to give your kids a treat"

FILTH

also

when I was a kid, a fudge was like "You're too poor for a flake" and was considered an act of hatred by those dispensing the fudge.

I kinda liked Fudges...

hello there...

If it is, then Happy Birthday :)

It's totally cool being old as fuck. But yeah, you tell that to kids these days and they don't believe you.

...or something like that

I feel young, now!

or a rigger?

hello & welcome new person, top work there.

Cheers, glad you enjoyed. I hope that our benevolent and ever loving leader appreciates my photography too.

and woo

The botox-smooth forehead is a dead giveaway.

reminds me of a host from danish television
i2-images4.tv2net.dk/s/43/28065243-c7b54ef49fe4c571af04a2d0dc6e9fab.jpeg

made a mold & cast of his winky in one of his terrible shows

is fucking creepy. Great dreams ahead tonight then

nice one

go on I dare you to like it! :)

I was sort of tagging on the thread there - I meant to address that comment to Drunken Miss Muffet

I thought it would be harmless fluff and it looks like harmless fluff. Just now I know the hue and consistency of the fluff, as it were.

Yeah, now we're ok until someone comes along and fucks it up

that smells like pure gasoline.

TJ: Just had a police officer knock at the door, and was greeted with "Hello sir, nothing to worry about. We're just investigating a burglary on this street... ooh b3ta t-shirt! Cool!"

I've seen everything now - nice!

before someone registers it and puts something there?

Well, these things cost money

This soon

I am laughing far too hard at this

Hold on a sec...
Edit: Here guy.com/a/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/captain_america_wank.jpg

How did this happen?! :D

one suspects :)

Edit: one quick google later, here's more.

Good work, Cap'n!

Ahh.....that's better...

is b3ta really that tricky to navigate?

the nun

I don't understand :)

/ac

you made the baby Jeebus cry

Probably bindun to death.....

twitter.com/#!/jimbocarr
The single tweet, juxtaposed with the number of followers, made me laugh.

It is known.

My guess it's game over for him. We all hate paying tax, but for fucks sake, what a knob

he's not really a political comedian, or even particularly left wing.

Doubt it will change things for him that much.

And there is not a lot he can fire back to be blunt.

And what comedians will want to be associated with him on the same show?

very quickly. Ultimately, he hasn't done anything that illegal, just been a bit of a hypocrite.

Likewise, most comedians on panels shows are the ones who are in it for the money anyway. They are hardly going to turn down a TV appearance in order to take a moral high ground.

I'm just thinking that word, 'hypocrite' will come to haunt him though.

completely character assassinated him. I feel sorry for him and technically he hasn't done anything illegal, but David Cameron is a complete arsehole singling him out when there are plenty of others similar to Jimmy within his group of friends.

and it seems has been playing exactly the same game with his own finances. Massive wanker

a public self righteous social observer playing the same game as those he ridicules

I think they should be made to fight to the death.
Seriously, I'm no fan of Carr (purely because I think he's unfunny) but Cameron is guilty of the most astonishing double standards here, given how many of the major donors to his party employ far more nefarious methods to evade far greater tax bills.

are Prime Ministers doing commenting on individual cases anyhow?
Gordon Brown got involved with Russell Brand and Jonathon Ross' little joke.
Now Cameron is getting involved with Carr.
Make a statement about something bigger, eh? Do your job properly.

"Leave him, David - he's not worth it..."

Not contradicting you, I'm genuinely curious. Has Jimmy Carr ever criticised tax evasion?

He's a convenient scapegoat and attention-drawer

to Cameron taking on Tesco on the same principal. They will wipe the floor with him, and open an 'Extra' store in no.10.

Carr may have avoided paying tax on the odd million.
Cameron's government lets corporations avoid paying hundreds of millions in tax.
Until he sorts that out, he should shut the fuck up.
That is all.

his father made millions out of off-shore tax havens, I notice he's keeping quiet about that

On the one hand he is a complete twat, a tax dodg.. avoiding twat at that. On the other it's entirely legal to do what he did so why's it surprising that anyone who has money and an accountant would do it? If I had to give a million quid to the tax man or keep it I know what I'd do.

So he's a twat but I think the gov is more twattish for singling him out when if they're that concerned about tax avoidance they should be closing the loopholes rather than whining people utilise them.

But surely just about everyone pays the least amount of tax they possibly can? Isn't that how its always worked?

Not saying that's a good thing, but is Jimmy Carr unusual in this? I know loads of people whose parents have put all their money in complicated funds so that their kids avoid having to pay inheritance tax. Does it make a moral difference that it's a few grand rather than a few million?

It's hardly as though Cameron's mates don't do it either, but I notice he isn't pointing the finger at them.

Maybe every F1 driver from the UK now living in Monaco to avoid tax need this treatment.
I'd like to see the government expense gravy boat opened up more.
But the big this is, spending £1.8 Billion to track & record internet traffic is wrong.

his wife was thinking about avoiding tax like a famous personality does.

So I said "Jimmy Carr?"

And he replied "No, it was her idea all along"



I'll get me coat.

No I don't completely understand....

.
NOT !

as he's a belming cunt.

so after tax that makes er ....

.
about £3,067,500 then

I don't see why people are complaining when other people make use of them.

Blame the game not the player and all that
not siding with Carr though, just pointing out people are angry at the wrong corrupt individuals

he's the most visible at this point in time
so he's just the current cunt

I'm sure I remember Ken being seen as a cheeky chap trying to get one over on the government rather than a greedy cunt.

and you have to pay because you're not

here's another tax cunt

David Cameron's hypocrisy in calling Jimmy "morally wrong" is far worse when he is in a position to prevent things like this happening.

Also:
www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/apr/20/cameron-family-tax-havens?CMP=twt_gu

Ultimately, using the loopholes doesn't mean that Jimmy necessarily even supports them, just that he is greedy enough to have a "if you can't beat them, join them" attitude, which doesn't paint him in a great light but I'd say is still more amoral than immoral.

well done finding that guardian article, I was after that :)

is rather than the tax dodging.

No wonder you get so many comedians who seem to be doing it for the money rather than the art if there is that much to play for.

I'm sure he'd be happy to subsidise you rolls being reversed

towel

you've really got to know where your towel is

To be fair, I find that only slightly annoying.
But if you type "alot", I will hunt you down and kill you, and then hunt you down again.

And it was LV-223

(just came back from seeing it, and was checking out IMDB)

It was a bit...odd, that film.

Massively underrated.

How are we all doing?

FIGHT!

You spelled 'lard' wrong lol

Who Will Win?

Sumo innit?

I think those are just his real eyes.

Do a drawing, Dave.

I'm on ubuntu now and still trying to get to grips with Gimp. But give me a photo and I'll cell shade the shit out of it for you*


_{*unless it is a photo of shit, then I'll cell shade the shit.}

Call Dave the Shit Shader and all your poop worries are over.
{;-)

I don't believe I've had the pleasure

I'm Dave of "PUT YOUR FUCKING CLOTHES BACK ON DAVE FOR FUCK SAKE!" Fame.
I was recognised by a b3ta person in Glasgow the other day when out having drinks. Last time I take my clothes off in that pub*



_{*won't be the last time.}

Just thought it was funny as I hadn't posted in years.

edit: these days if i look down, i can't see my feet :(

Edit: That's what lead to this picture, I drank lots of chocolate milk and realised I couldn't see my feet in the shower.

But that's because I'm a snail.

damn this alzheimers

you've always dreamed of there being more of me to love.

have you been working out with drugs and shit?

I'm just really good at photoshoping muscles onto myself and making it look like a shit, out of focus, self camera phone mirror shot. There is a surprisingly large market for it on facebook.

PLACE BETS NOW!
Elizabeth the Cursed vs EliZOMBIE the Second

b3ta.com/board/10792057

I'll have a monkey on the cursed

EVERY VOTE IS A VOTE FOR PATRIOTISM!

I'm still routing for QE1 though. She's the underdog now.

because she wears the +5 Toilet Seat of Safety, which repels zombies.

i've been gone for a little while. what did i miss?

Not much. Some brilliant some bad.

Might I spang myself now, Mama?

He has lost control again

CAPTAIN HE IS ALL TIME TOUCHING MY ASS

you gotta take your time

to a guy i knew at university who'd sit there going "buuunghooole bunghole bunghole bunghole MY NAME IS CORNHOLIO AND I NEED TEEPEE FOR MY BUNGHOLE". apropos of absolutely fucking nothing, we'd just be sitting watching telly or something.

god that annoyed me. IT ANNOYED ME.

also i erroneously accused you of being australian the other day :( you have my fulsome apologies, my canuck friend

HE NEVER SCORED

I've even drunk some of them! They probably just don't make it out West where everyone's all American and shit.

This might be RIS o'clock!

but almost every female I know is reading this filth!



Click for bigger (302 kb)


50 shades of gray

to stop reading repackaged Mills and Boon

hehe

I suggest you move on to a new target. Bourbon Fox and his fascination for vulpine mammaries is a logical one

his batshit insane death threatening muse :D

It's like.. some epic tale of a distraught angst laden artists movement in 1920's Paris*


*It does not in any way resemble this scenario

imchocked is probably the next best thing we've got, but he doesn't tend to engage like Moggy did

I'll get right on that.

THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE?
THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE?

THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE?

You have invoked him!

Make it twenty.

I had an idea the other day for what would have been a great entry to that "The other person's perspective" compo we had a few weeks back, with Moggy running all our replies through google translate and it coming out with things like "Construct small locomotive logic" and "Dave is the driver of you lorry forty-seven"

:)

"死血の家族の大虐殺！"

lol

COME BACK MOGGY (unless you're permbanned, lol)

"こんにちは素敵な人...天気の良い日があります！"

私はミトンが好き！しかし、私は晴れた日にそれらを着用しないでください！ HAHA！ミトンかわいいです！

私はあなたのコックにミトンを置く。それはウナギのバットのような味。

これは家畜の誤った使用であり、あなたが危険にさらされる

私はそのような性質のもので傷つける許しませんでした。冗談はありません。食品の無駄。

すぐにキラーロボットになり、それが通勤のために寿司コンセントを動作します。

私はあなたの芸術がありません良いような人を承認します。

私は豆が好きです！

パイナップルの性交
YYeEEESSSSSS!!!!

Must I do everything?!

*unzips*

Diced is nice.

but they'll starve on your portion

Too bad it didn't work.
We shall meet in the street and compare peni.

you got scared

YOU GOT SCARED MAN

with your tail betwixt yer legs

I will not be lurking about your room with an axe.
So, don't you worry.

oh my

what is this the middle ages

we do murderin' proper these days

B3ta Mod encourages bullying of young, sexually-confused b3tard.

Did Foxworth have a breakdown?

I'll give anyone the benefit of the doubt really.

But stalking and death threats even if it's comedy bullshit, nah.. that's bad juju man, bad juju.

It might be interesting to see him have a breakdown, but he seems remarkably level headed for a filthy yiffing pervert

Leave the Fur Fuckers Alone!

in a hotel/motel/holiday inn way?

or necessarily confused. Just that he appears to be fascinated by them.

a little too... fascinated....

HMM

HMM

EH EH EH EH

*nudges*

EH EH

sorry, what was the question again, my attention span failed while typing this post.

Not a major improvement there Toasty ;)

I was talking about atomic's love and adoration of moggy and that now she's not here he should find a new muse

Now instead of bullying, it's homosexual harassment :)

I never denied it ;)

there's no reason to try and turn us on with your visual prose.

Hee hee Haa haa Hoo hoo

Foxes with tits, wearing gas masks. Foxes who have tits, wearing gas masks on their faces, not foxes wearing tits on their gas masks, nor foxes wearing gas masks on their tits.

I hope this clarifies the situation.

Just think about it - 40 tonnes of shitworms are a lot of shitworms

50 tonnes is more.

(I'm sure you've heard that before)

there is no argument in this regard.

40 tonnes of shitworms or 40 tonnes of shitflies?

YEAH!

edit: collectedcurios.forumotion.net/t673-i-don-t-surpport-new-work

Christ

perhaps more than any of us she really needs to step away from the keyboard for a while.

maybe she should set up her own forum online to post her own art

with blackjack! and hookers!

but I won't

edit- wow. I've impressed myself with a new low in shittiness.

Inspired by Fresh Water Mole there.

Have a woo

A CATatsrophy!

keep it up :)

just What has become of the place!

"and this tshirt"

and opportunistic prostitutes will already be there waiting for them. Seems like an opportunity for fiction to define reality.