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# Don't know why...
Feeling blasphemous I suppose...

(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 3:38, archived)
# How dare you defile Cadbury's goodness.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 3:48, archived)
# Looks more like that 1 Jesus 1 cup video
...that I keep watching
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 4:00, archived)
# He's a bit of a messy eater by the looks of it.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 4:39, archived)
# ah, there's a flashback (not the crucifixion, the fudge)
"A finger of fudge is just enough to give your kids a treat"

FILTH

also

when I was a kid, a fudge was like "You're too poor for a flake" and was considered an act of hatred by those dispensing the fudge.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 6:57, archived)
# I dunno
I kinda liked Fudges...
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 7:11, archived)
#
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 7:20, archived)
# Ashamed a bit i suppose. I should have better things to do
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 2:32, archived)
# Haha
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 2:35, archived)
# hey mo, i'm 50 years old nao
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 2:37, archived)
# You too, huh?
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 2:45, archived)
# Well
hello there...
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 2:50, archived)
# This is the height of elegance right here.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 3:30, archived)
# Is that true?
If it is, then Happy Birthday :)
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 3:07, archived)
# 2 days ago, but thx
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 3:09, archived)
# excellent vintage though it's ~ a year off:
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 3:17, archived)
# :)
It's totally cool being old as fuck. But yeah, you tell that to kids these days and they don't believe you.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 3:29, archived)
# yeah, 50 is the new 45
...or something like that
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 3:37, archived)
# encore!
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 3:37, archived)
# Happy geezerdom, gentlemen!
I feel young, now!
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 4:47, archived)
# It's totally cool being old as fuck.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 7:02, archived)
# Happy bioday+2d
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 5:05, archived)
# :D
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 6:34, archived)
[challenge entry]
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 1:58, archived)
# Would that be a filbert
or a rigger?
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 2:25, archived)
# its a kitten
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 2:31, archived)
# Muy bueno
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:33, archived)
# Or have I got this wrong?
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:32, archived)
# This is the feline's pollocks.
"Grand-mama, might I go to the spanging-room now?"
(, Tue 26 Jun 2012, 18:41, archived)
[challenge entry] 2nd time lucky... Hail the Emperor! Rejoice before his sporting prowess
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 0:43, archived)
# what a hunt !
hello & welcome new person, top work there.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 1:12, archived)
# Aloha
Cheers, glad you enjoyed. I hope that our benevolent and ever loving leader appreciates my photography too.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 1:15, archived)
# nice
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 2:40, archived)
# Hail!
and woo
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 2:50, archived)
# young lad ends up cross-dressing in his frail old dotage?


The botox-smooth forehead is a dead giveaway.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:42, archived)
# *ugh*
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 0:05, archived)
# Creepy.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 0:08, archived)
# ja!
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 0:11, archived)
# Like a plasticized Lembit Opik.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 0:55, archived)
# that host dude
made a mold & cast of his winky in one of his terrible shows
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 1:03, archived)
# Yes, that guy
is fucking creepy. Great dreams ahead tonight then
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 2:49, archived)
#
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 0:14, archived)
# woo
nice one
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 2:49, archived)
# Poor Morph
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:39, archived)
# W...what?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:44, archived)
# It's illegal in nine countries..
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:47, archived)
# So that's what that film is like
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:51, archived)
# Has it piqued your interest or confirmed your fears?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:56, archived)
# It's harmless fluff...
go on I dare you to like it! :)
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:03, archived)
# I already like it.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:15, archived)
# Sorry Cap
I was sort of tagging on the thread there - I meant to address that comment to Drunken Miss Muffet
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:23, archived)
# 8D
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:29, archived)
# chevron comment
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:12, archived)
# No, to make a chevron you have to reply here too
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:14, archived)
# Well, to use HB's phrase
I thought it would be harmless fluff and it looks like harmless fluff. Just now I know the hue and consistency of the fluff, as it were.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:09, archived)
# And here
Yeah, now we're ok until someone comes along and fucks it up
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:15, archived)
# Ah, I really need to watch more films.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:51, archived)
# The Olympics.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:50, archived)
# Ha-ha!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:44, archived)
# I'm going to be honest with you,
that smells like pure gasoline.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:51, archived)
# Brought to you by Omni Consumer Products
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:56, archived)
# It's a formidable scent!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:18, archived)
# Haha!
TJ: Just had a police officer knock at the door, and was greeted with "Hello sir, nothing to worry about. We're just investigating a burglary on this street... ooh b3ta t-shirt! Cool!"
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:30, archived)
# A copper with a sense of humour?
I've seen everything now - nice!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:37, archived)
# If you like catfights...theres one in here somewhere
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:30, archived)
# try the links board
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:31, archived)
# Try
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:34, archived)
# How many times do I have to click that
before someone registers it and puts something there?
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 4:50, archived)
# Haha
Well, these things cost money
(, Tue 26 Jun 2012, 23:24, archived)
# Try self-immolation.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:36, archived)
# :(
This soon
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:47, archived)
# 8(
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:51, archived)
# WANK
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:24, archived)
# Clearly I'm still a child
I am laughing far too hard at this
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:32, archived)
# The full original is even funnier because of the speech bubble that precedes the sound-effect
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:46, archived)
# That's awesome :)
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:59, archived)
# bahaha
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:02, archived)
# Haha!
How did this happen?! :D
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:07, archived)
# Deliberately
one suspects :)

Edit: one quick google later, here's more.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:17, archived)
# The "Not only are you doomed, but so is everyone else you have touched" is priceless
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:28, archived)
# He's doing his best to sound gay :)
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:31, archived)
# I have no idea why I laughed out loud at this.
Good work, Cap'n!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:27, archived)
# WANK
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 0:18, archived)
# WANK WANK WANK WANK
Ahh.....that's better...
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 0:22, archived)
# WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 0:30, archived)
# hi dude
is b3ta really that tricky to navigate?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:37, archived)
#
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:38, archived)
# I missed this stuff.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:40, archived)
# where are Hitler and
the nun

I don't understand :)
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:08, archived)
# YES
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:02, archived)
# PREPARE YOUR ANUS

/ac
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:40, archived)
# Needs more shitworms.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:42, archived)
# I can see this thread turning into one about shitworms too
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:25, archived)
# This thread is now about threads turning into shitworm threads
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:35, archived)
# It's the Circle of Life
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 0:16, archived)
# It's shitworms, that's what it is!
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 0:22, archived)
#
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:24, archived)
# WANK
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 4:56, archived)
#
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 0:03, archived)
# For all your shed needs in the Rainham area.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 1:54, archived)
# Well done
you made the baby Jeebus cry
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 2:51, archived)
# Bindun?


Probably bindun to death.....
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:25, archived)
# it's no wonder he has such a shit eating grin.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:27, archived)
# Tax doesn't have to be taxing.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:27, archived)
# arf
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:30, archived)
# Saw this on Twitter
twitter.com/#!/jimbocarr
The single tweet, juxtaposed with the number of followers, made me laugh.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:40, archived)
# All the money in the universe lives in a Jersey bungalow.
It is known.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:43, archived)
# For a stand up
My guess it's game over for him. We all hate paying tax, but for fucks sake, what a knob
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:45, archived)
# Apart from 10 o clock live,
he's not really a political comedian, or even particularly left wing.

Doubt it will change things for him that much.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:02, archived)
# But he will get heckled now, without mercy over this
And there is not a lot he can fire back to be blunt.

And what comedians will want to be associated with him on the same show?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:45, archived)
# I think it is more likely to be forgotten
very quickly. Ultimately, he hasn't done anything that illegal, just been a bit of a hypocrite.

Likewise, most comedians on panels shows are the ones who are in it for the money anyway. They are hardly going to turn down a TV appearance in order to take a moral high ground.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:59, archived)
# Cool
I'm just thinking that word, 'hypocrite' will come to haunt him though.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:20, archived)
# The media have
completely character assassinated him. I feel sorry for him and technically he hasn't done anything illegal, but David Cameron is a complete arsehole singling him out when there are plenty of others similar to Jimmy within his group of friends.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:49, archived)
# Except as a comedian and 'social commentator' he pointed out the tax avoidance antics of others
and it seems has been playing exactly the same game with his own finances. Massive wanker
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:53, archived)
# exaclty Jahled
a public self righteous social observer playing the same game as those he ridicules
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:04, archived)
# As is Cameron.
I think they should be made to fight to the death.
Seriously, I'm no fan of Carr (purely because I think he's unfunny) but Cameron is guilty of the most astonishing double standards here, given how many of the major donors to his party employ far more nefarious methods to evade far greater tax bills.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 0:22, archived)
# Oh yeah I don't condone at all what he's done
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:10, archived)
# What the flippin' fook
are Prime Ministers doing commenting on individual cases anyhow?
Gordon Brown got involved with Russell Brand and Jonathon Ross' little joke.
Now Cameron is getting involved with Carr.
Make a statement about something bigger, eh? Do your job properly.

"Leave him, David - he's not worth it..."
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:10, archived)
# Has he?
Not contradicting you, I'm genuinely curious. Has Jimmy Carr ever criticised tax evasion?
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 3:10, archived)
# Yes
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 7:19, archived)
# I think that's exactly why Cameron is singling him out
He's a convenient scapegoat and attention-drawer
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:54, archived)
# I'm looking forward
to Cameron taking on Tesco on the same principal. They will wipe the floor with him, and open an 'Extra' store in no.10.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:27, archived)
# Hahaha
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:47, archived)
# Cameron is a hypocritical cunt...
Carr may have avoided paying tax on the odd million.
Cameron's government lets corporations avoid paying hundreds of millions in tax.
Until he sorts that out, he should shut the fuck up.
That is all.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:04, archived)
# ^this
his father made millions out of off-shore tax havens, I notice he's keeping quiet about that
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 6:34, archived)
# I have mixed feelings
On the one hand he is a complete twat, a tax dodg.. avoiding twat at that. On the other it's entirely legal to do what he did so why's it surprising that anyone who has money and an accountant would do it? If I had to give a million quid to the tax man or keep it I know what I'd do.

So he's a twat but I think the gov is more twattish for singling him out when if they're that concerned about tax avoidance they should be closing the loopholes rather than whining people utilise them.
(, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 19:10, archived)
# Not a massive fan of Jimmy Carr
But surely just about everyone pays the least amount of tax they possibly can? Isn't that how its always worked?

Not saying that's a good thing, but is Jimmy Carr unusual in this? I know loads of people whose parents have put all their money in complicated funds so that their kids avoid having to pay inheritance tax. Does it make a moral difference that it's a few grand rather than a few million?
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 3:01, archived)
# Agreed
It's hardly as though Cameron's mates don't do it either, but I notice he isn't pointing the finger at them.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 6:33, archived)
# You employ an accountant to sort your tax out and it looks like they done a good job.
Maybe every F1 driver from the UK now living in Monaco to avoid tax need this treatment.
I'd like to see the government expense gravy boat opened up more.
But the big this is, spending 1.8 Billion to track & record internet traffic is wrong.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 14:51, archived)
# Someone at work told me that
his wife was thinking about avoiding tax like a famous personality does.

So I said "Jimmy Carr?"

And he replied "No, it was her idea all along"



I'll get me coat.
(, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 15:04, archived)
# Jersey?
No I don't completely understand....
(, Sun 24 Jun 2012, 9:59, archived)
# we're all in it together



.
NOT !
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:21, archived)
# *belms*
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:22, archived)
# i hope he gets fisted in the arse
as he's a belming cunt.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:24, archived)
# he probably hopes that as well
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:26, archived)
# he made £3,067,500 gross last year
so after tax that makes er ....

.
about 3,067,500 then
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:29, archived)
# as long as the government keeps these loopholes open for their mates
I don't see why people are complaining when other people make use of them.

Blame the game not the player and all that
not siding with Carr though, just pointing out people are angry at the wrong corrupt individuals
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:30, archived)
# Exactly.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:32, archived)
# Shamone!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:36, archived)
# you're right , I agree ,
he's the most visible at this point in time
so he's just the current cunt
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:42, archived)
# heres another tax cunt from earlier
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:17, archived)
# Were people as angry at Ken as they seem to be with Jimmy?
I'm sure I remember Ken being seen as a cheeky chap trying to get one over on the government rather than a greedy cunt.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:24, archived)
# probably but times have changed , they don't pay their way because they are rich
and you have to pay because you're not

here's another tax cunt

(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:38, archived)
# This.
David Cameron's hypocrisy in calling Jimmy "morally wrong" is far worse when he is in a position to prevent things like this happening.

Also:
www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/apr/20/cameron-family-tax-havens?CMP=twt_gu

Ultimately, using the loopholes doesn't mean that Jimmy necessarily even supports them, just that he is greedy enough to have a "if you can't beat them, join them" attitude, which doesn't paint him in a great light but I'd say is still more amoral than immoral.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:56, archived)
# yeah, it's quite gobsmacking piece of hypocrisy
well done finding that guardian article, I was after that :)
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:14, archived)
# ^ this.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:58, archived)
# I'm more shocked by quite how wealthy he
is rather than the tax dodging.

No wonder you get so many comedians who seem to be doing it for the money rather than the art if there is that much to play for.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:33, archived)
# and he's nothing compared to Michael McIntyre or whatsisface Garlic Bread
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:35, archived)
# Good for him.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:46, archived)
# as you subsidise him
I'm sure he'd be happy to subsidise you rolls being reversed
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:54, archived)
# :D
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:40, archived)
# 15 storeys prometheus
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:13, archived)
# Take it to the bridge
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:15, archived)
# he should of brought a
towel
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:23, archived)
# If you want to survive out there
you've really got to know where your towel is
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:43, archived)
# \oo/
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:50, archived)
# \oo// surely?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:53, archived)
# Good point.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 1:18, archived)
# "should've", not "should of", please
To be fair, I find that only slightly annoying.
But if you type "alot", I will hunt you down and kill you, and then hunt you down again.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:27, archived)
# I like this alot!
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 5:01, archived)
# Psychic shenanigans on LV-426.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:23, archived)
# Quite
And it was LV-223

(just came back from seeing it, and was checking out IMDB)

It was a bit...odd, that film.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:40, archived)
# Haha, just been rewatching 15 Storeys High
Massively underrated.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:16, archived)
[challenge entry] I think we all know what would happen
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:02, archived)
# Damn it EliZOMBIE, you're meant to be having a grudge match.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:06, archived)
# I think she is
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:08, archived)
# It's Kim Jong Undead.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:12, archived)
# Don't post scary stuff this close to bedtime!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:24, archived)
# It's been oooh, years since I posted a picture of myself.


How are we all doing?

FIGHT!

(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:52, archived)
# O_o
You spelled 'lard' wrong lol
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:52, archived)
# o_O
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:53, archived)
# I don't understand, where's the Battle Poll?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:54, archived)
# HERE IT IS!
Who Will Win?

(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:55, archived)
# Damn it I just added one
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:56, archived)
# Physique of an IT professional ftw!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:56, archived)
# Tubster for deffo
Sumo innit?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:57, archived)
# Tubster has the cold dead eyes of a killer.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:00, archived)
# So does Suckgut.
I think those are just his real eyes.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:03, archived)
# Dave!
Do a drawing, Dave.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:57, archived)
# what of?
I'm on ubuntu now and still trying to get to grips with Gimp. But give me a photo and I'll cell shade the shit out of it for you*


*unless it is a photo of shit, then I'll cell shade the shit.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:58, archived)
# Advertisement : Unexpected TURDS in your photos?
Call Dave the Shit Shader and all your poop worries are over.
{;-)
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:38, archived)
# Oh, would this be Dave of "It's a car" fame?
I don't believe I've had the pleasure
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:59, archived)
# Nope.
I'm Dave of "PUT YOUR FUCKING CLOTHES BACK ON DAVE FOR FUCK SAKE!" Fame.
I was recognised by a b3ta person in Glasgow the other day when out having drinks. Last time I take my clothes off in that pub*



*won't be the last time.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:00, archived)
# Fascinating.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:04, archived)
# Not really.
Just thought it was funny as I hadn't posted in years.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:06, archived)
# ?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:00, archived)
# DAAAAVE!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:34, archived)
# WHAAAAT?
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 0:06, archived)
# hello fatty!
edit: these days if i look down, i can't see my feet :(
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:58, archived)
# awight ginge.
Edit: That's what lead to this picture, I drank lots of chocolate milk and realised I couldn't see my feet in the shower.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:59, archived)
# were your elephantitus ridden testicles in the way?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:21, archived)
# I have the same problem
But that's because I'm a snail.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:03, archived)
# so you can only see your one foot?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:06, archived)
# awwww snap.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:06, archived)
# No. I don't have any eyes.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:07, archived)
# Yes but that's because you have diabetes and had to have them amputated, dude.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:06, archived)
# oh yeah
damn this alzheimers
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:08, archived)
# You fat bastard
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:02, archived)
# don't deny it,
you've always dreamed of there being more of me to love.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:03, archived)
# looking buff
have you been working out with drugs and shit?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:19, archived)
# Alas no, I use my money for hookers and beer
I'm just really good at photoshoping muscles onto myself and making it look like a shit, out of focus, self camera phone mirror shot. There is a surprisingly large market for it on facebook.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:28, archived)
# I'd be lost without those red arrows.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:43, archived)
# WHO SHALL VICTORIA?


PLACE BETS NOW!
Elizabeth the Cursed vs EliZOMBIE the Second


(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:51, archived)
# And the winner of yesterday's grudge match was... HITZILLER!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:51, archived)
# Well duh
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:08, archived)
# It couldn't have gone any other way, man.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:27, archived)
# Zombies are shit
I'll have a monkey on the cursed
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:55, archived)
# However you vote, either way you're voting for the Queen to win!
EVERY VOTE IS A VOTE FOR PATRIOTISM!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:59, archived)
# C'mon, Lizzie!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:27, archived)
#
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:33, archived)
# Now that evens things up a bit
I'm still routing for QE1 though. She's the underdog now.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:36, archived)
# Ahahah
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:42, archived)
# The Cursed shall win ...
because she wears the +5 Toilet Seat of Safety, which repels zombies.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:16, archived)
# it's toilet paper, get it????? i'm sorry.


 
or loo paper or bum roll or whatever the fuck y'all call it
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:14, archived)
# Good evening Doctor
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:17, archived)
# evening y'all
i've been gone for a little while. what did i miss?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:20, archived)
#
Not much. Some brilliant some bad.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:31, archived)
# Love will tear us a sheet....
Might I spang myself now, Mama?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:18, archived)
# Two paper rolls?
He has lost control again
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:22, archived)
# Drimchocked
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:46, archived)
# wipe...in silence
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:28, archived)
# And I Quote:
CAPTAIN HE IS ALL TIME TOUCHING MY ASS
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:32, archived)
# You gotta roll with it
you gotta take your time
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:33, archived)
# *summons Cornholio*
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:54, archived)
# jesus you've just given me flashbacks
to a guy i knew at university who'd sit there going "buuunghooole bunghole bunghole bunghole MY NAME IS CORNHOLIO AND I NEED TEEPEE FOR MY BUNGHOLE". apropos of absolutely fucking nothing, we'd just be sitting watching telly or something.

god that annoyed me. IT ANNOYED ME.

also i erroneously accused you of being australian the other day :( you have my fulsome apologies, my canuck friend
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:57, archived)
# Well it's a toss up who's beer is worse so as they say, "no worries".
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:01, archived)
# "The sign said 'Drink Canada Dry', so I did" - some famous alchoholic
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:07, archived)
# RIP
HE NEVER SCORED
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:11, archived)
# THERE ARE NICE CANADIAN BEERS
I've even drunk some of them! They probably just don't make it out West where everyone's all American and shit.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:12, archived)
# Shit pun time..
This might be RIS o'clock!

but almost every female I know is reading this filth!



Click for bigger (302 kb)



50 shades of gray


(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:14, archived)
# Hues of gary?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:15, archived)
# tell every female you know
to stop reading repackaged Mills and Boon
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:30, archived)
# who do they play for?
hehe
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:34, archived)
#
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:16, archived)
# you're really missing her aren't you
I suggest you move on to a new target. Bourbon Fox and his fascination for vulpine mammaries is a logical one
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:20, archived)
# he's lost his muse
his batshit insane death threatening muse :D

It's like.. some epic tale of a distraught angst laden artists movement in 1920's Paris*


*It does not in any way resemble this scenario
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:21, archived)
# Not mental enough
imchocked is probably the next best thing we've got, but he doesn't tend to engage like Moggy did
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:22, archived)
# true, but with the constant poking that atomic is capable of.....
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:23, archived)
# Right...make new Pope pics.
I'll get right on that.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:25, archived)
# THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE?
THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE?
THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE? THE POPE?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:44, archived)
# No, ...not that one.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:45, archived)
# THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE?
THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE? THE ANITPOPE?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:57, archived)
# NOW we got a compo!!!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:00, archived)
# Is he Opposite Jesus' friend?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:05, archived)
# No. Opposite Jesus is fictional.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:08, archived)
# So's the Pope.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:11, archived)
# I give it ten minutes before Imchocked turns up.
You have invoked him!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:54, archived)
# Ah. Ten minutes appear to have passed.
Make it twenty.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:06, archived)
# I think if Mothra didn't invoke him up there^, my comment stands no chance.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:08, archived)
# The Vatican children fucker's hands have stain
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:11, archived)
# It is the false messiah!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:12, archived)
#
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:13, archived)
# FUCKING 'A'
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:15, archived)
#
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:47, archived)
# Invocked
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:16, archived)
# popeyvockedinvockedypopeydope
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:19, archived)
# To be honest, probably not foreign enough either
I had an idea the other day for what would have been a great entry to that "The other person's perspective" compo we had a few weeks back, with Moggy running all our replies through google translate and it coming out with things like "Construct small locomotive logic" and "Dave is the driver of you lorry forty-seven"
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:28, archived)
# hahaha "Construct small locomotive logic" is a great sig
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:33, archived)
# If you say so...
:)
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:36, archived)
# ^
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:38, archived)
# I see your sig is promoting a great website
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:43, archived)
# engage like
"死血の家族の大虐殺!"

lol

COME BACK MOGGY (unless you're permbanned, lol)
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:23, archived)
# Yeah, she says things that could blow your mind...like...
"こんにちは素敵な人...天気の良い日があります!"
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:29, archived)
# or even more terrifyingly
私はミトンが好き!しかし、私は晴れた日にそれらを着用しないでください! HAHA!ミトンかわいいです!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:32, archived)
# Then in next short time:
私はあなたのコックにミトンを置く。それはウナギのバットのような味。
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:35, archived)
#
これは家畜の誤った使用であり、あなたが危険にさらされる
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:37, archived)
#
私はそのような性質のもので傷つける許しませんでした。冗談はありません。食品の無駄。
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:41, archived)
#
すぐにキラーロボットになり、それが通勤のために寿司コンセントを動作します。
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:43, archived)
#
私はあなたの芸術がありません良いような人を承認します。
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:45, archived)
#
私は豆が好きです!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:52, archived)
# \o/
パイナップルの性交
YYeEEESSSSSS!!!!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:54, archived)
# ahahaha bat of eel
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:05, archived)
# My new target:
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:23, archived)
# is that vomit or dickgag?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:25, archived)
# FFS! Choose one!
Must I do everything?!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:26, archived)
# you don't have to do "everything"
*unzips*
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:27, archived)
# *readies knife*
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:33, archived)
# The orphans are getting fed tonight!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:35, archived)
# Yes...what little there is.
Diced is nice.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:39, archived)
# nice of you to serve your own
but they'll starve on your portion
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:40, archived)
# I see what you did there.
Too bad it didn't work.
We shall meet in the street and compare peni.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:43, archived)
# oh yeah it did
you got scared

YOU GOT SCARED MAN

with your tail betwixt yer legs
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:51, archived)
# Sleep tight, my friend.
I will not be lurking about your room with an axe.
So, don't you worry.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:57, archived)
# axe?
oh my

what is this the middle ages

we do murderin' proper these days
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:04, archived)
# new target?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:28, archived)
# edit: she gone :'(
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 21:14, archived)
# News Just In!
B3ta Mod encourages bullying of young, sexually-confused b3tard.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:29, archived)
# I don't consider it bullying when the person is openly abusive and specifically states they don't give a shit about the feelings of others
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:30, archived)
# Oooh, who did that? Have I missed some gossip again?
Did Foxworth have a breakdown?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:33, archived)
# could be related to what appears to be a perm ban
I'll give anyone the benefit of the doubt really.

But stalking and death threats even if it's comedy bullshit, nah.. that's bad juju man, bad juju.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:35, archived)
# not an error in translation?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:51, archived)
# nasty usually translates quite well
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:52, archived)
# He wasn't mean ol' Whisky
It might be interesting to see him have a breakdown, but he seems remarkably level headed for a filthy yiffing pervert
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:37, archived)
# What's this all about then?
Leave the Fur Fuckers Alone!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:50, archived)
# Bourbon Fox is sexually confused?
in a hotel/motel/holiday inn way?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:31, archived)
# He likes foxes with tits. I'd say that qualifies as sexually confused.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:32, archived)
# I wouldn't have gone as far as saying it was sexual
or necessarily confused. Just that he appears to be fascinated by them.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:34, archived)
# fascinated...
a little too... fascinated....

HMM

HMM

EH EH EH EH

*nudges*

EH EH

sorry, what was the question again, my attention span failed while typing this post.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:36, archived)
# Fine, in that case it's just "encouraging the bullying of an innocent young B3tard."
Not a major improvement there Toasty ;)
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:41, archived)
# you're the only one talking about bullying
I was talking about atomic's love and adoration of moggy and that now she's not here he should find a new muse
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:44, archived)
# Are you busy this week?...*bats eyelashes*
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:48, archived)
# *runs off screaming*
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:50, archived)
# Ahahah, I'm only messing around. But you seem to be digging even deeper.
Now instead of bullying, it's homosexual harassment :)
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:52, archived)
# may I remind the right honourable gentleman that the question of sexual confusion was his own
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:54, archived)
# Hey, I'm more fucked up than welly full of chicken liver.
I never denied it ;)
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:03, archived)
# now now
there's no reason to try and turn us on with your visual prose.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:11, archived)
# I toned it down from more fucked up than a slut at a gangbang.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:12, archived)
# a gangbanged slut with a fanny like a welly full of chicken liver
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:16, archived)
# and other selected farm produce
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:19, archived)
# Cor!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:09, archived)
# you called?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:51, archived)
# 'innocent' and 'b3tard' in the same sentence
Hee hee Haa haa Hoo hoo
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:17, archived)
# Don't forget gas masks
Foxes with tits, wearing gas masks. Foxes who have tits, wearing gas masks on their faces, not foxes wearing tits on their gas masks, nor foxes wearing gas masks on their tits.

I hope this clarifies the situation.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:38, archived)
# Forever in our hearts.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:29, archived)
# (found this old one for you)..............................................................ENJOY!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:32, archived)
# *enjoys*

Just think about it - 40 tonnes of shitworms are a lot of shitworms
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:36, archived)
# No, it's not that many really.
50 tonnes is more.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:43, archived)
# :(
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:48, archived)
# DEAL WITH IT
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:07, archived)
# You have much to say with little proof.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:52, archived)
# NO U
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:07, archived)
#
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:20, archived)
# Well that's me told.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:30, archived)
# I didn't want to come down so hard on you, but you forced my hand.
(I'm sure you've heard that before)
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:38, archived)
# it's more than 39 tonnes and not as much as 41 tonnes
there is no argument in this regard.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:43, archived)
# I disagree.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:44, archived)
# Me too, with gusto!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:38, archived)
# Hmmm
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:47, archived)
# yeah but what weighs more?
40 tonnes of shitworms or 40 tonnes of shitflies?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:44, archived)
# A bazooka
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:48, archived)
# FULL OF SHITWORMS!
YEAH!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:22, archived)
# This thread is now about shitworms
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:09, archived)
# Leave Moggy Alone!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:15, archived)
# *BREAKING NEWS* We've tracked her down, she's taken the whole thing really badly
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:34, archived)
# U__U
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:37, archived)
# hahaha oh fuck
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:04, archived)
# it's seriously in her best interests to be banned from all these places
perhaps more than any of us she really needs to step away from the keyboard for a while.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:15, archived)
# Fuck!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:21, archived)
# wow
maybe she should set up her own forum online to post her own art

with blackjack! and hookers!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:25, archived)
# Forget the blackjack!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:33, archived)
# I could do a song about this
but I won't
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 20:32, archived)
# And maybe banjos going over cliffs


edit- wow. I've impressed myself with a new low in shittiness.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:42, archived)
# Save the Banjos!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 19:48, archived)
#

Inspired by Fresh Water Mole there.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 17:40, archived)
# Looks like it may catsize
Have a woo
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 17:48, archived)
# but the sea looks purrfectly calm
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 17:53, archived)
# you have tabby joking
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 17:55, archived)
# I fear there is a storm mewing
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 17:57, archived)
# That would be
A CATatsrophy!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:04, archived)
# They'll be feline seasick soon
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:08, archived)
# fur sure
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:13, archived)
# They'd have to put a paws on their holiday
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:15, archived)
# but they'll have a great tail to tell
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:18, archived)
# They'll have to wait til there's enough money in the kitty to go again
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:24, archived)
# I hope they don't make a mess and leave litter everywhere
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:29, archived)
# But it was built as purr spec.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 23:35, archived)
# BOAT CATARACTS?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:05, archived)
# BOAT RAGE
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:12, archived)
# canoe rage?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:15, archived)
# Sans paddle...
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:17, archived)
# Sans Paddle, New Mexico, Population 3,723.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:18, archived)
# Chief export: Polenta
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:23, archived)
# Breakfast of champions
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:37, archived)
# HIS CANOE
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:44, archived)
# ALL TIME TOUCHING
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:49, archived)
# I like how youtube gives this as a related video
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:31, archived)
# "Hello. It looks like you're on a late 90s nostalgia binge"
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:45, archived)
# YES
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 22:24, archived)
# I got a Matalan Catamaran for 9.99
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 18:32, archived)
# if I were him that's what I'd wear
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 17:27, archived)
# "Fuck you, I'm willing to help"?
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 17:29, archived)
# you have a healthy optimistic view of things
keep it up :)
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 17:36, archived)
# Sneak preview of the new Asda uniform
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 17:40, archived)
# or an "ilfracombe is prostitute ridden" t shirt
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 17:29, archived)
# can't get down the main road without tripping over hookers
just What has become of the place!
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 17:30, archived)
# or "I went to Ilfracombe and all I got was a lousy STI"
"and this tshirt"
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 17:32, archived)
# I'm sure all the signs down there for cream tea is just a euphemism for knocking shop
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 17:35, archived)
# I wonder if passing lonely men will now stop at Ilfracombe just in case
and opportunistic prostitutes will already be there waiting for them. Seems like an opportunity for fiction to define reality.
(, Wed 20 Jun 2012, 17:45, archived)

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