Hiya gang!!!!!!!!1
Wow, this is really good, eh?

Tell me something funny or interesting - or make up a comical lie.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 16:16, 109 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I've just had a Rice Krispie cake
and earlier on I got custard in my moustache. I had to go and wipe it off with a napkin and everything. Internet fattie, right here.

Hahaha j/k I was really down the docks and a sailor spluffed on me. I can't afford the rent so I have to turn tricks in order to make ends meet. It's tragic, really.

So apparently Michaela Strachan murdered Ray Mears, or something. Who else is going to cop for it this year? My money's on Thatcher.
( Kroney, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 14:29, 200 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Terry Nutkins has died.
That's some breaking news right there.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 13:36, 88 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

new thread o'clock
what's your biggest pet peeve or bugbear?

alt: what was the last thing that made you LOL??

altalt: lunch???
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 11:48, 196 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

So, was Carol Smileys name REALLY Carol Smiley
Seems a bit of a stupid name to me.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 11:38, 86 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

So, FRIDAY, yeah?
It's hot and sunny, my boss is in France and I'm really looking forward to this weekend. I've also been texted a remarkable bit of worried backpedalling by the mother of my kid who now wants to be 'friends' and avoid court. All jolly good.

What about you, you bent wanker? Plans?

I'm hoping to see that Scotch Disney film on Sunday to teach my kid about her Jockanese heritage. I'm also hoping to smash your mum's back doors in.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 9:04, 257 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

If C3PO and V.I.N.C.E.N.T. had a fight
how sore would you be after wanking over the potential make-up sex?

You dirty dirty robot fuck wankers.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 7:59, 91 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Evening you pox marked ninny hammers
soooo...what's up?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 19:44, 102 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

In the immortal words of Glen Campbell
There'll be a load of compromisin' On the road to my horizon. But I'm gonna be where the lights are shinin' on me.

When was the last time you made a compromise for a loved one? What was it and did you reap any benefit?

Alt: Fuck compromise! It's for weak minded pussies! What would you absolutely NOT compromise on? For me it would be Heinz ketchup ;-)
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 15:50, 115 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I see Monty's been hanging round schools again.
menmedia.co.uk/manchestereveningnews/news/s/1588100_probe-launched-after-toddler-picks-up-bag-of-cocaine-at-salford-childrens-centre

Careless sod. When were you last careless? Or indeed hung round a school?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 6 Sep 2012, 14:03, 111 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Fuck it's boring on here today.
Got any jokes? Got any gossip?

Got a good lunch you work-shy lazy fucks?
( Kroney, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:21, 156 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

This is DISGUSTING!
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tees-19503922

Glad to see our leader has put those judges in their place.

Have you ever been burgled? How did you find it? What sort of home defenses do you have now.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:38, 40 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

So the new strategy for growth which will definitely work this time
is that the government will lift planning restrictions so you can do anything you like to your house, and developers which have been sitting on huge land banks for years and years will suddenly realise that now is the time to start the projects that they've been putting off for ages.

So it clearly won't work.

When did you last build something? Tell me about it.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:39, 100 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Enough of that music rubbish before Boyce starts pontificating.
Tomorrow I am going to Poland to spend the weekend on the piss with my best mate. The only problem is that I have to fly with RyanAir. What's your worst flight experience?

Alt: What's the best cure for insomnia (apart from wanking & booze)?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 8:42, 166 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I like public enemy
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kak_eFRvyJU&feature=autoplay&list=AL94UKMTqg-9C2WBnEraitLD1Kok3xscmo&pla

do you like public enemy?

I like public enemy
( broadsword w⚓, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 0:33, 19 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

It's a bit dead here, innit.
Owt going on?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 21:39, 81 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Bus thread!
Why do you hate buses? Why do you loves buses?

Alt: TRAINS!!!!!!!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 17:47, 69 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

What is better than a six pint lunch*?
* apart from a seven or eight pint lunch?

Alt: best food to soak up beer?

AltAlt: tell me what you like or dislike about me.

Altaltalt: cunt off.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 15:06, 144 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Afternoon all.
Anyone here got more common sense than me? (Don't answer that one.)

So I'm putting together some bits for a craft project - cheaper than Amazon for a christmas present, hopefully. Gonna be making a lamp that looks like Nuka-Cola Quantum (out of Fallout: New Vegas). Will be assembling it from an old Coke bottle, food colouring, water/fizzy pop and (maybe) a lava lamp base to provide a light source.

Thing is, the bulbs normally used in lava lamps are about 25-40 watt incandescent reflector ones, or so Google tells me. Presumably, if I were to find an LED bulb of the same fitting, the heat produced wouldn't be enough to boil the coloured water in the sealed bottle above. Right?

And if you don't give a toss about that: what's the main reason this planet is fucked?
( Bats, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 13:14, 130 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'm off out in a bit,
Going to go engage in my favourite past-time, and get all greasy under a car. What's your favourite past time? Are you a pub sitter, or a an outdoors type? or maybe you like to rape people.

Alt; Young edgy Vag has put me on ignore, anyone got you on ignore? Why?

Altalt; Had a little think about lunch yet?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 5 Sep 2012, 10:46, 94 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Good morning my fellow O/Ters
It's a lovely sunny morning here in rural Warwickshire, the bacon & sausage breakfast sandwich was truly excellent and I have nothing urgent to do today except finish off a powerpoint presentation.
I know it's a Wednesday but tell me dear reader, what's great about your day?
Alt: In a perfect world, where would you be right now?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 5 Sep 2012, 8:17, 141 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Evening
what are tuesdays for?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 19:25, 154 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hey guys,
How's it going?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Sep 2012, 16:29, 133 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

what do you reckon to this?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-19474419
sex abuse, murder-suicide?

and this?
www.cracked.com/article_19988_the-5-most-nightmarish-worms-planet.html

and this?
www.walesonline.co.uk/sports/cricket-news/glamorganccc/2012/09/04/paralympics-ellie-stays-cool-in-the-pool-to-win-more-gold-91466-31760113/
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 14:04, 107 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Jeremy fucking hunt
God I hate that man, almost as much as I hate Langsley.

If you were the B3ta prime minister who would you shuffle around to new b3ta ministeries or something.

That's a shit question, just talk about lunch.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 12:32, 137 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

long thread is long
it's sunny today and i am drafting a very boring letter. i would love to be sailing a boat somewhere on choppy seas in the sunshine. however, i have no boat, and i can't sail. what skill/sport would you love to acquire?

alt: have you ever dyed your hair? what colour?

altalt: best mid-morning snack?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 10:38, 219 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Back in school, we are the leaders
Kids go back to school today up here. Stories of school please. Were you a little shit or the "pissy" one with snots in the corner?

Alt:
The dog has just pissed on my laptop bag. What is fucking up your day today?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Sep 2012, 8:29, 209 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Don't pretend you have a social life. POST.
So, what question should I ask?

Alt: go and fist yourself to death Freefair. Phudfree or whatever your name is, you as well, wankers.

Altalt: best cure for anger?

Altaltalt: how hot can you take chilli in a meal?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 20:56, 61 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Favourite television copper or detective?
Alt, anything. I'm stuck on a call and I've read all the shite posted so far today.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 16:06, 174 replies, latest was 12 years ago)