Best Graffiti I Ever Saw
I was sitting in a pub in Oxford outside one of the posh colleges. I needed a crap and went to the loo. On closing the toilet door I noticed the graffiti was a little different to normal. Being Oxford someone had written a rather moving love poem down the door. Being Oxford there was something more: someone else had added a detailed poetry critique. Complete with references and footnotes. Oh those wacky students eh?

(Can you beat that? Best / funniest stories will be used for B3ta radio.)
( rob http://robmanuel.tumblr.com/, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:11, archived)

this reminds me of alan partridge
always used a gag from dennis norden's (i think) book of humorous graffiti to start a speech

[edit] on a fence overlooking the M40 (just before Junction 1 westbound), somebody has painted "why do i do this everyday?", which is certainly the most apt graffiti i've ever seen, since it's my route home from work
( atomboy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:12, archived)

demotivation graffiti
what a good idea
( rob http://robmanuel.tumblr.com/, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:17, archived)

I saw that the other day coming back from Oxford.
And there's various other bits of multicoloured stuff too small to read as you zip past.
( pxyzyzygy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:20, archived)

one of them says
"i am the king* of peas" *or possibly god, which is nice
( atomboy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:23, archived)

I pass that quite often.
Originally it was just the "why do I do this..." but it has been added to over the past year or so to the point that it has lost some of its original impact.

It's still quite impressive though.

The only time you can read all of it is when the traffic for the M25 is backed all the way up and you can crawl past it.
( jonas is not my name, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:50, archived)

that one alwayus makes me laugh..
..on the southbound M40 right?
(Scribble, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 9:45, archived)

Yeah I saw that, but on the M25,...
Sat in a traffic jam looking at that,.. 3 months later I'd quit my job and moved 250 miles away from London :)
(HoTWire, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:07, archived)

damn right
I head up and down the M40 every day and see that message... it really is depressing, and 100% of accurate
( Reckless_Rik, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:33, archived)

Similar,
On bridge over motorway into town, forget where, HUGE letters - "Good morning lemmings"
(mr pete, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:07, archived)

You mean this?

( Zak Canard - I remember this place, vaguely, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:59, archived)

That's the one
Classic
(mr pete, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 16:43, archived)

LOL!
That is an absolute f**king classic!
(Hektor, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 21:48, archived)

Same again, back when all this were trees
Good
Morning
Lemmings
in the early 1980's on successive pillars coming off the M4 at Hammersmith
(sad b'stard, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 9:48, archived)

Used to be spread over
three consecutive bridges on the M3.
( Flapjack - Floats like a butterfly, bumbles like a bee, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 9:51, archived)

This is not demotivational as such
but it is fucking funny.

www.banksy.co.uk

.
(mr pete, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 12:58, archived)

Banksy is superb...
Having lived in Bristol over the past five years I'm no stranger to his work. If you take a stroll around the streets of St.Pauls, Kingsdown, Cotham etc. you can see many examples of his work.
My favourite is the large one on Gloucester Road showing the teddy bear throwing a molotov cocktail at a group of police with riot shields.
Has anyone seen that? I wish I could post up a copy.
(trollbite, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 13:47, archived)

yeah
I walk past it every time I go into the centre, the caption is "the mild mild west", or somesuch...
(matt'twam'asi, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 13:53, archived)

Currently
there's an advert for something (can't remember what, so it can't be a very good advert) that has a picture of Jaime Rednapp standing next to a fat bloke wearing a shirt saying "I'm Jaimie Rednapp".
Someone near me has written on Jaime: "I'm a Cunt"
( Weetobix, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:29, archived)

similarly
on a fly poster for the last holly valance record someone had written over her cleavage, "I am a dirty bitch, I fuck Gypos"
( atomic mingus, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 17:20, archived)

Remember Leah Betts?
There was a poster in Worcester with her on a life support machine. It said "Leah died after taking one tablet of extacy."
Underneath somebody wrote a very very big "LIGHTWEIGHT"
( Last Night A DJ Pedestrianised The High Street yawn, Fri 7 Nov 2003, 20:34, archived)

You mean
Jaime Redknapp, the Mexican defender?
(Sybil 'n' Tess, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 17:38, archived)

In Nelson, Lancashire
There is a railway bridge in the centre, and someone had put 7 pieces of paper along it so it reads 'NIPPLES'.

I thought that was genius. Made me larf. But then someone changed it to the ever present GOURANGA.

Which never fails to remind me of Lenny Henry. "GOURANGA MY FRIEND. AOOOWA AOOOWA"
(V3lvetPresley, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 12:53, archived)

in a similar vein
spotted on a roadsign near a distinctly middle class area of Reading: "fat nobodys in company cars". Cutting.
(breadtroll, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 13:20, archived)

it's
Nigel Rees book of graffiti.

He published at least three volumes of it not including best ofs.

And in the second volume, there was one bit that said, "If Nigel Rees uses this, I hope I get paid this time."
( fishsticks, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 17:29, archived)

Oxford is strange
I know of another wall sized piece of thought provoking intellectual vanadlism in Oxford. Simply says "Life is not a paragraph". I dont understand what they are going on about or why Oxford seems to attract a better class of vandal, still makes you think!!!

If its not a paragraph what is it?
(WazInOz The Real Turkey Boy, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 10:37, archived)

silly fool
It's a line from an ee cummings poem.
(punch, Mon 10 Nov 2003, 1:40, archived)

Heh!
You said 'cummings'.
(Bob Hopelessness, Mon 10 Nov 2003, 13:09, archived)

Best I ever saw was on a fence in Leyton.
It simply said "Start Your Sheep". Lasted a good 10 years.
( pxyzyzygy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:13, archived)

On a local crossing light,
underneath the illumintated "Wait" message, someone has scrawled in Tipp-Ex "while I get undressed".
( bovine www.richardtingley.co.uk, visit or I kill you, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:13, archived)

fuck
Over the top of the illuminated message on a traffic light near me, someone has written in big bold letters with a marker pen "fuck". The piece of grafiti itself isn't that funny it's just the thought of the retarded, easily amused vandal that did it that tickles me.
(Skippy_T, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 18:48, archived)

chalkboard in a pub toilet
"chalk below, write your graffiti here"
huge scratched words with a key or something
"try harder"
( RobRobRobRobRob, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:13, archived)

a lot of the roadsigns where i am
have started being written in english only.
welsh nationalists keep translating them.
( RobRobRobRobRob, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:14, archived)

Bloody welsh.
they get everywhere.
( Thor_sonofodin is running an ant farm, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:17, archived)

lets rebuild offa's dyke
you know it makes sense...
( lo, the OTHER greebo warrior, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:21, archived)

it wasn't actually meant to keep the Welsh out
but only to show them how powerful the king was, and anyone who could build something so big and long, was probably best not antagonised.
</documentary addict>
( Pootle where's his tart on his sleve?, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:36, archived)

Whats the point?
If they can translate them, they can understand them anyway.
( Lumpbucket farted., Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:40, archived)

the point is
that it is their language. They speak it. And not just to piss you off.
( bleepbloop, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:50, archived)

well
i made up my own language. I don't speak it, but I could if I wanted to. I don't write it on signs.
( Lumpbucket farted., Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:51, archived)

mmmm
it sounds like you're the sort that thinks that the Potato Famine was caused by a shortage of potatoes.
( bleepbloop, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:55, archived)

No
It was caused by an excess of Irishmen
(jonnies, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:56, archived)

.
.
(pikey hardly, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:31, archived)

That
is the funniest thing all day.
( Major General 100% Cock, Retired I believe that Gorgonzola is the best cheese., Tue 4 Nov 2003, 10:17, archived)

that and an excess of viable grain being shipped
to the UK - well England more specifically.

edit: summat nicer
( WhoElse I'm what Willis was talking about, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 11:39, archived)

hahahahah
vandal humour :D
( fassit, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:15, archived)

In the ladies loos
in The Bull in Rugby, there's a grafitti argument going on on the back of one of the doors. It starts with one person complaining about the state of the loos (anyone see the irony there?) and is continued by someone else calling the first person a disgusting vandal for grafitti-ing the toilets (what about there?)

The intelligence level of the majority of the people in Rugby isn't too high...
(The Squirrels in the graveyard steal my drugs and swear at me!, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 17:00, archived)

You're telling Me !
Daft Cunts think football is played by picking the ball up and running with it !

And they've got rid of the "Return to Oz" which was always a superb pub (?)

(Living in Coventry is Hell)
( The Mighty Gusset, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 11:14, archived)

i'll hear less
slurs about coventry, please
(Dr Cat9 M.D., Wed 5 Nov 2003, 11:59, archived)

You can hear this ?
You Scare Me !!!!

I mean, most cities build their Ring Roads round the outside !

Is it okay if I slag off Bedworth ?
( The Mighty Gusset, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 9:44, archived)

Yes, it is!!!
It really is! And feel free to slag off Nuneaton too. I live there. Feel sorry for me...
(The Squirrels in the graveyard steal my drugs and swear at me!, Sat 8 Nov 2003, 13:13, archived)

i once saw someone had drawn
a big cock which stretched across the road.
which isn't all that exciting.
( Sir Sand Goblin BOB BANK, DO THE AYATOLLAH, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:14, archived)

people often do that
in the mountain stages of the tour de france.
it's fun spotting them on eurosport
( atomboy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:16, archived)

Oh Yes
Down the road from us is quite a posh estate called 'The Chase' where all the snobbery live. 'The Chase' is carved into a stone wall and looks very grand......well it did until some thoughtful soul spraypainted 'Chevy' in the middle of it.

Well it made me laugh...
( Scary Mary The D'oh Fairy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:14, archived)

i used to shag a girl who lived in chevy chase
it's a vaguely snobbish part of the Washington DC metro area
(greengo, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 17:28, archived)

That was much better
with just the subject line.
( The Mighty Gusset, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 11:20, archived)

not as snobbish as
Georgetown.

Makes my soul shrivel.
(laurathefrog, Fri 7 Nov 2003, 2:56, archived)

Hmm..
In our old school bathrooms, someone had ripped the words out of the old Biology textbook, and written " I lick cat's bottoms" in the letters . :)
(number 27-hunter, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 0:48, archived)

Saw a sign on a toilet the other day
and someone had removed the "I" so it said To Let...
( Dr.Dunno, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:14, archived)

genius

( rob http://robmanuel.tumblr.com/, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:16, archived)

i once
added an I to a To Let sign, but nobody seemed to get confused, unfortunately
( atomboy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:16, archived)

I love the
"60,000 SQ. FOOT TO LET" signs. I always wished I could change them to "60,000 SQ. FOOT TOILET".
( Lumpbucket farted., Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:22, archived)

i dreamed of doing that since i was a kid
and there was office space above southampton central train station to let.
( atomboy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:25, archived)

I got caught sticking a big cardboard "I" onto a sign for a huge but ugly office block in Glasgow.
I explained to the cop that it wasn't vandalism, but architectural criticism. He said "Yeah, it's fucking ugly, isn't it? Now.. piss off. Quick.".
I didn't need to be told twice. I took my aluminium stepladder and legged it.
( chaotic_illuminator wanking enthusiast, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 13:54, archived)

I saw some graffiti on the bottomeof a toilet door as I was taking a shit.

It was written quite small, so I had to lean over to read it.

It said....

"you are now shitting at an angle of 45 degrees"
(guinea, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:14, archived)

hahahahah
excellent
( fassit, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:15, archived)

In the
Erskine Medical Library in Edinburgh uni one of the cubicles has grafitti on the bottom corner of the wall:

"If you're reading this, you're peeing on your shoes..."
( Fudgebags will wear you like a glove, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:25, archived)

My older brother used to glue pound coins to the bottom of toilets with the queens head facing up
Personally, What's quite funny, although not exactly graffiti, Is to write "reading this note will make you [insert insult her- eg.gay/smell/ugly]
(tom the astronaut, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 18:17, archived)

does glue work underwater?
how does it dry?
(chegosaurus sucks at b3ta, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 19:30, archived)

superglue uses
water molecules to initiate the polymerisation reaction for bonding, it doesn't 'dry' as such.

Er... I'll go now.
(Zak is pleased with your offerings, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 1:40, archived)

he's right
I do use... erm.. that.
( Smakkie At least the war on the environment is going well., Wed 5 Nov 2003, 17:26, archived)

That's been around a while
My dad spotted it in Oxford in the 60s. When he was JCR member with special responsibility for the underground toilet block (official post title: Rear Vice Admiral. And I'm not making that up.)
( Dr Almost, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 13:15, archived)

i once saw some graffiti on the back of the loo
in leeds station, it went as follows:
'FREE! HOT GAY CHAT FOR NOTHING!!!
CALL 0800227711 NOW!!!!'

thinking nothing of it, when i got home i opened a can of fanta, and noticed the number was the coca-cola schweppes helpline
( lazygamer - pratting around up to and including, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:15, archived)

did you make a note of the number,
or do you have a photographic memory?
:)
( Kamikaze Stoat, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:18, archived)

i have a can of coke
to my left, a cup of coffee to my right.

should keep me buzzing this afternoon...
( lazygamer - pratting around up to and including, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:19, archived)

I have some apple juice
and a box of Lemsip. I'm going to make cocktails. I'm in for a par-tay!
( Kamikaze Stoat, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:22, archived)

here i am
stuck in the middle with you
(Jibbed, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 1:24, archived)

I read that
as pornographic memory...
(Harry, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 19:50, archived)

I have
one of them!
( betpet is the fun in dysfunctional, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 12:14, archived)

Gay Chat Line
Did you dial the number and thats how you found out it was the Shweppes help line, no memory skills (joke)
(Mexican Chilli Dog, Fri 7 Nov 2003, 11:58, archived)

The railway bridge
by Harold Wood station in Essex had "B U T T O C K S" in 2 foot letters, which always made me chuckle.
( Ptortoise, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:15, archived)

Getting out of Harold Wood alive
is reason enough to smile.
( PeterSeychelles, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:16, archived)

railway bridge near us in Wigan...
...still has 'QUEEN ROCKS!' written across it hehe
( Boden, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:36, archived)

Bah. You think that's old?
On a wall in Carlton Scroop in Lincolnshire it still says "USA GET OUT VIETNAM"
( sp3ccylad carries on breathing all the way up to, say, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 22:08, archived)

on the now closed down police station in Folkestone
there is still 'Stop Pool Tax'
(Weeeeee!!! Pokes badgers with spoons, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 16:28, archived)

on the wall at our local probation office
"Dogger's mum sucks dogs"
( WD-39 is on the brink of divorce, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:15, archived)

On a wall in Dublin
"Bert is a dog's diddy"
( pxyzyzygy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:21, archived)

Next to some specifically insulting graffitti
('wayne is gay', or whatever) in Finsbury Park wayne (or whoever the original was aimed at, has replied) 'Whoever wrote this, their mum is a snowblower'. I'm still not really sure what a snowblower is.
(michael_k_vegfruit, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 1:52, archived)

That's
a quote from the dreadful 80s film "Short Circuit" starring Steve Guttenberg. I feel extremely sad for knowing this, and apologise for my geekery.
(mentalageofseven, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 8:42, archived)

hey laser lips...
say no more
( Emohawk, Mon 10 Nov 2003, 12:27, archived)

on a wall in Bristol
"Tracy's nan wears a wig"
(trollbite, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 14:25, archived)

the graffiti
in the gents at The Shakespear in stoke newington is of a similar bohemian nature.
( discostu RELEASE THE CHEESE!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:16, archived)

and a
great Pub it is too
(@man beholds the curious map on, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 9:25, archived)

I travel with a lot of
school kids on my commute to work. And as a new form of uber bullying, they inscribe a note on the back of the plastic chairs with something to the effect of "Hi I'm tracey, for a good time give me a call on 'insert porr bastards mobile number here'" SOme of them get quite provocative, I just wonder how many of the dirty Slough fuckers actually phone those numbers.


Oh, and for the the Scottish people - was driving through the bloody wildnerness of Jockland, nothing but sheep, no habitation whatsoever, suddenly a sign looms near us........................................with "jobbies" written on it. The fact that someone drove miles to do that, coupled with the sheer childishness of the graffiti, disabled me from driving.
( Banana, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:16, archived)

I would

( WD-39 is on the brink of divorce, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:17, archived)

I've seen some like that
"For hot mexican sex call...."
(Ellis, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:36, archived)

it was
"for hardcore Mexican sex", if I remember correctly, ye silly hoot.
(McDave, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:06, archived)

arse off

(Ellis, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 18:31, archived)

You live near Slough?
God I go to school there (yr 13 at a convent grammar thank you very much), and I can believe those fuckers doing it
(monsta, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 19:04, archived)

Hahahaha,
Jobbies!!! Genius!
(Johnny Remone, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 21:52, archived)

M Kahn is bent!
/Whitehouse
( supermoore: HUNG, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:16, archived)

that one always puzzled me
M Kahn was the name of the bass player in 80s band Japan. Always wondered...
( rob http://robmanuel.tumblr.com/, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:19, archived)

Apparently
www.angelfire.com/ok/marywhitehouse/mkahn.html
( bloid ....dloibbloiddloibbloid...., Mon 3 Nov 2003, 14:46, archived)

I still like my Japan theory


Knowing far too much about 80s pop music, I know that M Kahn was straight (and a dispute over a girlfriend with David Sylvian was a major factor splitting the band.)

But look at the photo! I can see why people may have called his sexuality into question.

edit: Just noticed the name is spelt different. Arses.
( rob http://robmanuel.tumblr.com/, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:03, archived)

Hee heee :-)
He does look a bit like Lurch's smaller gayer brother...
( bloid ....dloibbloiddloibbloid...., Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:43, archived)

I dont know who he is
But the record company logo at the bottom amuses me.
(lucky_13, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 17:16, archived)

he is also
the wicket keeper of the Pakistan cricket team, I think
(Woody, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 12:40, archived)

Surely
an euphamism like that must prove it!
( betpet is the fun in dysfunctional, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 12:19, archived)

M. Kahn
is probably a very common name in Pakistan
( gordonriot, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 12:21, archived)

Except that's Khan.
As in Genghis, or Imran.
Kahn is Middle-European, maybe. Like Louis I. Kahn, an American architect and very geat man, who was born in Estonia.
( PastorSauce : easy on the anchovies..., Wed 5 Nov 2003, 16:32, archived)

hmmmmmm
What about the Wrath of?
(WazInOz The Real Turkey Boy, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 16:00, archived)

Isn't that on a bridge over the M1 or summat ?

( Hagbard - Mario Kart DS Code in profile, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:20, archived)

Yup
I've had the pleasure of driving past it quite a few times recently. Makes me laugh every time. Can't remember exactly where it is, though, apart from that it's somewhere between London and Leeds... does that help?
( wrightbyname - correct by nature, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 16:55, archived)

I always thought
it was on Brixton Bridge just by the underground back in the late eighties. At least I'm sure there was some big funny graffiti there. Anyone remember...?
( Jacksonville believes God created evolution in 7 days, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 12:36, archived)

Best graffitti I ever saw
was on Springfield Road police station in Belfast the day after the IRA ceasefire. It said "For Sale"
( mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:16, archived)

on a vaguely similar note...
.. "Ireland for the Irish, Peckham for the Peckish" on a pub toilet door (not in Peckham though) made me smile.
(<foo>, Fri 7 Nov 2003, 9:42, archived)

Or
"Provo Land" in big letters sprayed on the side of the Brandywell with a big arrow pointing towards the Bogside in Derry.
(Saoirse, Sat 8 Nov 2003, 0:53, archived)

written on an overpass:
"what's gonna set you free?" this was there for years when someone decided to answer on the next overpass: "perhaps some chocolate chip cookies and milk?"
( Melba Toast, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:16, archived)

A great addition was made to a mural on the side of a church
where i live. It's a huge mural of jesus that is alongside a very busy highway. Underneath the hokey portrait of jesus, amidst the rainbows and flowers, it says "LOVE POWER". The letters are about two feet high. Someone had the brilliant idea to add the letter "I", so now it reads "I LOVE POWER" quite appropriate, i think.
(meowmeowkittymeow, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 21:44, archived)

"Free Kuwait"
was written on an overpass in London at the time of the Gulf War
and then somebody wrote below it
"with Tiger Tokens"
(trollbite, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 14:49, archived)

LMAO
i been a visitor of b3ta for a long time, i am always surprised that is more than one person with the same sense of humour as me.
(lucas_maximus, Sun 9 Nov 2003, 22:38, archived)

In St Ives (Cornwall not Cambridgeshire)
Someone had altered the sign saying "please do not feed the seagulls as they are becoming a nuisance" to "please do not feed the slags..."

not really graffiti but made me laugh.
( Reverend Dan, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:16, archived)

Sheffield University chemistry department, early '90s:
The structure of a large (and plausible) organic molecule was written on the cubicle wall in marker pen, along with "can anyone tell me what the hell this is?".

Underneath, various students and staff had made suggestions. Serious ones.
(Astatine, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:17, archived)

It wasn't arsole, was it?
(see Molecules with Silly Names for more)
( Dr Almost, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 13:29, archived)

Some hilarious japer had replaced the words "an offence"
in "It is an offence to urinate on Metro property" to the words "a Joy".

Never a truer word...
( Zak McFlimby, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:17, archived)

On a desk in school
"Adolf Hitler european tour 1939 - 1945"
( HP SPEEDCORE!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:18, archived)

yeh the 1939-1945 tour
that was there best to date
(Leroy_slade, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:38, archived)

You're all very young
I used to have the T-Shirt
Caused great offence in the summer of '80
(Cautioned by the plod and/or arrested on several occasions)
( The Mighty Gusset, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 11:29, archived)

With
the England gig marked 'cancelled', as I remember.

Were you arrested by the style police?
(Bob Hopelessness, Mon 10 Nov 2003, 13:24, archived)

A few doors down
from my house there's a huge piece of hardwood in someone's driveway with an enormous cock drawn on it, just like the ones which often appear on this very site. I think it might have been Dr Dunno on his way home from the pub....

Also our local swimming pool had the 'l' removed from its sign, so for years it was 'Teddington Poo' - not really graffiti but made me laugh when I was a kiddie
(MrsA, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:19, archived)

Why would I
be going to your house?
( Dr.Dunno, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:22, archived)

For mashed potato & peas of course

(MrsA, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:25, archived)

mmmmmmm
peas.....
( Dr.Dunno, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:47, archived)

on a similar note
"SWIMMING POOL" -> "SWIM IN POO"

chuckle
( wingphil, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 10:55, archived)

our local pool was called
bishopsworth swimming pool - changed to bishops swim in poo. which is strange, because i thought they spent all their time molesting children. you learn something new...
(muler, Mon 10 Nov 2003, 13:51, archived)

removing letters is good
the signs on trains that say "please give up this seat if a disabled person needs it" can be easily changed to read "please eat a disabled person"
( rhcpaul is making a note here: 'huge success', Tue 4 Nov 2003, 15:18, archived)

and...
"tools and appliances are kept in the guards compartments for use in emergency" becomes "apples are kept in the guards pants for use in emergency" well, makes me laugh
( rhcpaul is making a note here: 'huge success', Tue 4 Nov 2003, 15:21, archived)

On a Train on the Piccadilly
Line, someone has taken the time to alter the "Obstructing The Doors Can Be Dangerous" to "Obstruct The Doors, Be Dangerous".

How long must they have sat there trying to work that one out?
( Beejay 'Strayten up for Ceiling Cat but DO NOT USE vacuum, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 11:42, archived)

Or on Manx Buses
"The director will press for the highest penalties against offenders" to "The director will press his penis against offenders"....
(el pedro, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 14:07, archived)

On a notice at uni
FIRE ALARMS WILL BE TESTED, to FIRE ARMS WILL BE TESTED
Alarming...
(Fi, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 14:16, archived)

On old Central Line Trains
From when there was a guard present on all trains, a sticker above the doors read "OBSTRUCTING THE DOORS CAUSES DELAY AND CAN BE DANGEROUS",

a guard had inserted the letter "y" and changed it to

"YOBS IN THE DOORS CAUSE DELAY AND CAN ANGER US"
(lochii, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 17:52, archived)

A small
village near where I live had a problem with people speeding through it, so someone added "twinned with Le Mans" under the village sign.
( bovine www.richardtingley.co.uk, visit or I kill you, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:20, archived)

i like that one!

( magoo, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:29, archived)

'False Tit' in huge letters outside Nottingham train station
'If the sheep could talk, what a story they would tell' - near Bristol Temple Meads station

Underneath the Now wash your hands sign in the gents in a pub in Bristol someone has written 'and your cheesy pants and tights'

I have no idea what any of these are on about.
( Dr. trouser, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:20, archived)

Ouch
Small village near Bristol called Cocklake. Local council now fed up with replacing the 'l' on all the approaching signs...
( pattwat, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 15:00, archived)

Pathead
just outside edinburgh often has its signs tampered with to read "Fathead"
( jeffcapeshop, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 19:24, archived)

Wait a minute...
Cocklake is funnier than Cock ake.
(A Wooden Leg Named Smith, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 23:35, archived)

er....
he's right you know...i do prefer cocklake
(monhwa, Wed 5 Nov 2003, 5:31, archived)

Another in Bristol...
When resident evil came out in the cinema, someone did a totally professional job modifying one of the posters hung a bit too low in the city centre.

Bush's head on one figure, Blair's on the other and an extra 'P'. It was so well done, I didn't notice it for a few weeks. Nearly crashed my car into it when I did...
( VeryGnawty, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 22:26, archived)

Now that is comedy
We need some photos people!!
(nospoon, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 22:56, archived)

haha
i was thinkin it said resident pevil for ages then.
(Jibbed, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 1:37, archived)

I saw a similar one
on Birmingham New Street, when all the green Railtrack signs were up saying "we're working on your station", one had been changed to say "we're wanking on your station". It was so well done that having to look twice was what made it funny.
(InTheStudio, Tue 4 Nov 2003, 9:55, archived)

Someone
has done that at the Odeon in Brighton. the poster for Love Actually now reads Hove Actually. Made me laugh.........maybe you have to come from Brighton to get that one....
( D3xt3r Don't take any guff from these fucking swine...., Sun 9 Nov 2003, 12:31, archived)

more common
"now please wash your hands" with the addition "in your piss"
( rhcpaul is making a note here: 'huge success', Tue 4 Nov 2003, 15:22, archived)

At architecture school someone used letraset to write
Bum and Willy on a cubicle in helvetica 12point.

In the same cubicle was: "I don't like vacuum cleaners, they suck" and the more obscure, "Leo Sayer, What a player"
( alistair, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:21, archived)

When I was
at art college in Cheltenham years ago, someone had written in huge letters above the urinal 'ART DIES, GOES MAD'.
I still have very little inclination as to what the faux-intellectual (probably) bearded cockbite that wrote it was on about.
(Surgeon_General, Fri 7 Nov 2003, 10:54, archived)

i have 2
1. ON train from london to birmingham, i saw graffiti say